alisanne (alisanne) wrote in snape_potter, @ 2014-07-26 21:43:00 |
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Current mood: | thoughtful |
Entry tags: | alisanne, fic, rating: pg, summer challenge14 |
Summer Challenge 14: The Luxury of Joy
Title: The Luxury of Joy
Author: alisanne
Other pairings/threesome: N/A
Rating: PG
Word count: 1000
Theme chosen: Quotes.
Warning(s): Mild angst.
Summary: Harry wants something from him, Severus just doesn't know what it is.
A/N: Thank you to sevfan and emynn, as always.
~
“Rejoice as summer should...chase away sorrows by living.”
― Melissa Marr, Darkest Mercy
~
The Luxury of Joy
~
“I can’t.”
Potter hummed. “Why not?”
“Potter--” Severus supposed he should start calling the man Harry since he’d been his constant companion during his recovery, and had even moved him into his home. “Harry, my scars are...unpleasant, people will stare. Plus, this is a celebration of having survived the war. I’m a reminder of the bad things that occurred during the conflict.”
Bending down so that his mouth was beside Severus’ ear, Harry whispered, “I disagree. You’re a reminder that hope and life spring eternal. But for you, we would have lost, and all the people gathered out there know it because I’ve told them. Let them honour you. Please?”
Severus closed his eyes. When had he become such a sap? When Harry saved you that night in the Shack and you realised you could finally be free, came a soft voice that sounded suspiciously like Albus’. “Very well. But I hold you responsible for any damage that may occur to my person.”
“Noted,” said Harry, straightening up to push Severus outside in his wheelchair. “I’m willing to take that risk.”
People did stare, but instead of animosity, Severus saw respect and admiration on their faces, and by the time Harry steered his wheelchair into position on the dais, Severus’ heart wasn’t pounding quite so hard.
“I’m just going to go check on some things,” said Harry, placing his hand on Severus’ shoulder. “I’ll be right back.”
The point of contact tingled. Severus ignored it as he usually did. “And leave me here defenceless?” he asked, eyebrow raised.
Harry smiled. “I’ve made...arrangements.”
“Hello, Professor.” Hermione Granger came into view. “We’re so pleased you could join us.”
“Indeed.” Severus hummed. “I was hardly given a choice.”
“Oi! That’s not fair,” protested Harry.
Severus stared at him until he blushed.
Granger smiled. “Harry is a force of nature, isn’t he?” She shooed Harry away. “Go on, then. I’ll take care of the professor.”
“I hardly need a keeper,” muttered Severus, stung.
“Well, I know that,” said Granger. “But Harry’s very protective of those he cares deeply for.”
“Cares deeply?” Severus snorted.
Granger’s eyes narrowed. “Do you think Harry doesn’t have many demands on his time? That he’s not popular or liked?”
Severus blinked. “What? Of course I know that.”
“Then what do you make of the fact that he’s spent almost the entirety of the last six months helping you recover, getting you access to first class rehabilitative healing, and making sure you weren’t going to be prosecuted for war crimes?” she asked. “Does that strike you as the actions of someone who doesn’t care?”
Severus coughed. “Perhaps he feels guilty--”
“What does he have to feel guilty about?” Granger’s eyes were blazing as she leaned forward, placing her hands on the armrests of his wheelchair. “He sacrificed his life that we could be free. He thought he was going to die but, against all odds, he didn’t. He knows how precious life is. Do you think he has the time or inclination for anything in his life right now but the important things?”
Gobsmacked, Severus sat in silence. “Then, why?” he finally asked. “Why has he devoted so much time to me?”
Straightening up, she smiled as if satisfied. “That, Professor, is a question you should be asking him, although you’re a smart man. I think you can figure it out for yourself if you try.”
“Right,” said Harry, hurrying up to them. “We’re all set. The ceremony is about to begin. I’ll be next to you, Professor.”
The ceremony, which featured speeches from people who had been directly involved with the victory, sped by. Severus listened to the talks with one ear, the rest of his concentration directed towards solving the problem of Harry. By the end, he’d come to an inescapable conclusion. “You want something from me,” he said after they’d got home and as Harry began wheeling him back to his assigned room. “What is it?”
Harry remained silent for a moment. “Hermione told you, didn’t she?”
“Ms Granger merely helped me clarify my own thoughts on the matter,” said Severus. “It’s obvious you want something from me or you wouldn’t be spending this much time with me, taking care of me. What is it?”
Circling around the chair, Harry crouched down beside it, looking Severus in the eyes. “What do I want? I want you to be happy, to live, to appreciate life again. It’s summer; I want you to rejoice in it.”
“And what do you get out of it?”
Harry exhaled, but didn’t look away. “I get the satisfaction of seeing someone I...care deeply for be happy.”
There was nothing but sincerity in Harry’s voice and face. Severus, an expert at detecting deception, felt it to his bones. Moving slowly, he reached for Harry, cupping his face in his palm. “I’m happy when I’m with you.”
Harry closed his eyes, leaning into Severus’ touch. “Then we should stay together.”
“You deserve better,” whispered Severus, rubbing his thumb along Harry’s lower lip, his breath quickening when Harry’s mouth parted and he sucked Severus’ thumb into his mouth. “You deserve someone whole.”
Harry placed his hand over Severus’, and with one last kiss to the pad of his thumb, leaned in until their faces were only a hair’s breadth apart. “As do you. Do you think you’re the only one the war damaged? But all I have to offer is myself as I am, scars and all. Is that enough for you?”
“You, Harry, are a treasure,” murmured Severus. “One I don’t deserve, but one I nevertheless can’t turn away. Perhaps it’s selfish of me, but--”
“Then I guess we’ll be selfish together,” interrupted Harry with a smile. “Is that okay?”
“More than.”
Harry nodded. “Good. Now, shall we both grab life by the tail and chase away sorrow by living?”
“Let us indeed.” And as Harry pressed forward for a kiss, one Severus enthusiastically returned, he finally allowed himself the luxury of joy.
~