Snarry-a-Thon13: FIC: The Dom of his Dreams Title: The Dom of his Dreams Author:eriador117 Other pairings/threesome: Passing mention of Harry/various Rating: NC-17 Word count: Approx. 10,000 words Content/Warning(s): (highlight for spoilers) *D/s, spanking, mention of some fetish/kinks including breathplay, some consent issues in Harry's past experiences (not between Snape and Harry)* Prompt: Harry's never had proper boundaries when it comes to discipline. So once he finally comes out and discovers the gay night life, years of repression turn into wild partying and a lot of unsafe choices. Not about to let Harry ruin his life, Snape decides it's time to take matters into his own hands... Summary: See prompt A/N: Thanks to my beta, WP. Any remaining mistakes are my own. Thanks also to the mods for giving us another excuse to write more Snarry. Not that we really need an excuse, you understand ;)
The Dom of his Dreams
Most of the time, Severus forgot there was a Muggle telephone in the house. He rarely used it to make calls and the times it rang out with an actual call for him were few and far between. Most of the time it was a wrong number. Today though, today was different. He'd answered on the third ring, expecting it to be another wrong number.
"Hello? I'm looking for a Mr. Snape. A Mr. Severus Snape," the voice on the other end said at once, before Severus had a chance to speak.
"I am Severus Snape, who is this?"
"Oh, thank goodness we finally found someone! I'm Dr. Caldwell at St. Martin's Hospital in London. We have a young man here in Intensive Care but he had no identification on him of any sort. Your phone number was in his pocket but nothing else. We don't know who he is. He was brought in last night but he hasn't regained consciousness yet. Would you be able to come to the hospital and see if you know him?"
"I will be there shortly. St. Martin's, you say?"
"That's right. Please just ask for me at reception and I can take you down to Intensive Care."
They both said their goodbyes and Severus replaced the handset, his hand gripping it so tightly his knuckles were white. He didn't know whether he was furious or worried out of his wits. That idiot! What had he got himself into now?
***
St. Martin's was a modern four-storey building of glass and chrome, as unlike the old-fashioned charm of St. Mungo's as it was possible to be. Severus had left off his robes, knowing that he would be in the middle of Muggle territory. The doors opened with a soft hiss as he approached them, leading him into the spacious reception area. With abstract paintings on the walls, small pools and fountains, shrubs in various hues and sculptures aplenty, it reminded Severus of a high-end office of finance or fashion rather than a hospital.
The waiting patients, some bleeding, some coughing, were ensconced on designer furniture that looked as though it had been chosen for aesthetic value rather than comfort, as everyone sitting on them were shifting about. A curved desk at the front of the lobby housed the receptionist and enough computer hardware that wouldn't have looked out of place in a space control room. Severus had seen the moon landing in one of his neighbour's houses when he was younger and all the computer screens and buttons reminded him of that.
"I'm here to see Dr. Caldwell," Severus said without preamble. "Snape. Severus Snape."
The woman behind the desk nodded and typed something on one of her computers. A few moments later, a door behind the desk opened and a man in a white coat stepped through. The man was a lot younger than Severus was expecting, late twenties, if that, with soft brown curly hair and hazel eyes with bruised shadows underneath. The suit under his white coat was crumpled, as if he'd slept in it, and his tie was askew. He smiled as soon as he caught sight of Severus and rushed around the desk to shake his hand.
"Mr. Snape, so glad you could make it. I wasn't expecting you so soon! Do you live nearby, then? Intensive Care's this way, if you'd like to follow me." Dr. Caldwell led them to a bank of lifts on the left hand side of the lobby. Caldwell pushed a button and continued talking while they waited. "I'm afraid the young man hasn't regained consciousness yet, but his vital signs are steady, so we're hopeful he'll recover soon. I know it's a terrible imposition, but if you do recognise him, it would be a great help."
The red light above the lift came on and there was a ding as the doors opened. Severus didn't say anything as they went up to the third floor, but he knew it was only a formality. Who else would have had Severus' Muggle phone number in his pocket? When the lift stopped, Caldwell hurried down a corridor to an electronic door. He pushed a key card in so that the red light changed to green and held the door open so Severus could step through with him.
There were various rooms along this corridor, with windows and glass doors, each with one bed and one occupant.
"Is this a private hospital?" Severus asked, for he couldn't imagine any NHS hospital having so many private rooms.
"It is, yes," said Caldwell as they stopped outside one of the rooms.
"And who'll be paying for your unknown young man?" Severus didn't begrudge the money, not when it could help the man in that bed, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to afford the fees for this hospital. It was very modern and bright, and seemed expensive.
"Oh, we are a private hospital, yes. That is, we're privately funded, but the patients who come here are not charged for their care. It's a charity; the charity pays for all medical care and everything else."
Severus glanced into the room and saw the still form lying on the bed. Despite the bruising to his face and neck, the split lip and the matted hair, Severus would recognise the man anywhere.
"I do know him," said Severus. "His name is Harry Potter. He is a colleague of mine. We're both teachers."
"Really?" Dr. Caldwell's eyebrows rose so that they almost seemed part of his hair. "He seems quite young to be a teacher."
"He's twenty-three," said Severus stiffly. Twenty-three and still had as much sense as a first year Hufflepuff!
"Do you know his next of kin?" Dr. Caldwell asked.
"His parents are both dead and he is estranged from the rest of his family. They never cared for him. Is his condition so serious that you need to inform his next of kin?"
"He isn't out of the woods yet, Mr. Snape. Are you by any chance more than colleagues? Friends, perhaps? Lovers?"
"What are you trying to say, Doctor?"
"Well, it's just, we really shouldn't be giving out information on the patient to anyone unless they are somehow involved with him. His next of kin, a lover for example." Caldwell waggled his eyebrows again, as if he was trying to tell Severus something.
"We have a close relationship," Severus said, not wanting to lie about being a lover of Harry's, when he wasn't that. Nowhere near to being that. Wanting and wishing weren't reality, no matter how much he yearned for just that very thing.
"So he won't mind me telling you things about his health?"
"No. We are each other's confidants," Severus said, knowing that was true. But he hadn't known that Harry was going out again last night, had he? Harry hadn't told him that at all.
"Then, I must tell you, Mr. Snape that I fear Mr. Potter has been the victim of a sexual assault. When the paramedics found him in the alleyway, his clothes were torn and there was blood and semen, along with marks and bruises consistent with attentions being forced upon him."
"Someone raped him?" Severus asked, his voice breaking. "Have the police been called?"
"Yes, but until he wakes up, they don't have a lot to go on. I've seen my fair share of rape victims, Mr. Snape, and I have to say it's always very difficult for a victim to accept that is has happened to them. Mr. Potter will need a lot of support during his recovery."
"He will get it," Severus said, looking at the still form on the bed. There were drips feeding him fluids, other tubes to take away waste and monitors beeping. It was all so, so Muggle. "May I see him?"
"Of course."
Severus removed his wand. "Obliviate," he whispered, upset that he had to use memory charms on the doctor at all; he'd seemed competent enough, but there couldn't be any memory of Harry Potter at this hospital.
Severus stepped into the room and scanned Harry, making sure he was stable before removing the tubes and drips from his body and then Apparating them both to the gates of Hogwarts. Poppy would know what to do. She always did.
***
Harry knew he was in the Hogwarts infirmary long before he opened his eyes. It had the same underlying smell of healing potions and stale vomit, all overlaid with a hint of wax polish. The sounds were familiar too, hushed murmurs and the soft swish of soft-soled shoes walking past the beds. When Harry opened his eyes, it was to stare into a familiar face at his bedside, too.
"Severus," Harry said, his throat feeling red-raw. Severus poured him out a glass of water and handed him the glass. Harry's hand shook as he took a sip. Everything was a muted blur. "My glasses?"
"Were not recovered when you were, Professor Potter. Madam Pomfrey was waiting until you woke before sorting you out with the needed prescription. How - how are you feeling?" Severus asked, his face flushed. That was not his usual reaction to Harry's nightly escapades.
"Why aren't you ranting at me?" Harry asked at last. "About how foolish I am?"
"You may have been foolish, but no one deserves to be raped," Severus said bluntly.
"It wasn't rape," Harry said firmly. "No one raped me. Things just got a bit out of hand."
"You almost died! You call that things getting out of hand? The Muggle paramedics and doctor who treated you thought you'd been raped. Your clothes were torn, you were bruised and bloody, not to mention unconscious! What else were they supposed to think? You had bruises around your neck. Someone choked you," Severus persisted.
"Yes, they did," Harry said. "I asked him to. But then he must have freaked when I passed out and left. It wasn't rape. I just wanted to try something different."
"And you think a moment's pleasure is worth your life, do you?" Severus' voice was soft, which frightened Harry more than the ranting had. It meant he had strong feelings on the matter. "How many times have your nights out resulted in waking up in the infirmary, Potter?"
"Quite a few, I suppose," Harry said, shrugging his shoulders. The gay clubs he went to were filled with men like him, who were searching for an elusive something, but Harry didn't know if he'd ever find out what it was. There was no denying that he'd enjoyed the encounters, even the rougher ones, on a physical level, and he kept pushing himself beyond what most people would find normal. But nothing really helped and he knew he didn't want to end up dead in an alleyway, which is what Severus thought he might end up doing if he kept this up.
"At least you had the sense to go to Muggle clubs so no one knew who you were. And since it's the summer hols there aren't students around at the moment. Have you no thought of your own reputation, or of how damaging this would be to the school or the students? They admire you, they look up to you. How would they feel if they knew what you got up to in your off hours?"
"They'd be ashamed of me," Harry said, feeling tears prickle at the corner of his eyes. He felt shame afterwards too, but not during, the pleasure so intense that it was all he thought of at the time. It was only when he got home to Hogwarts and scrubbed himself raw in the shower that he felt the shame.
"You lack boundaries, Potter. You lack discipline. Hardly surprising considering the things that Albus let you get away with as a student. Any other student would have been expelled ten times over."
"Do you think I don't know that? That I don't think of that all the time? He let me get away with murder because that's what he was grooming me for in the end, wasn't it? To murder Voldemort and go to my death like a good little minion. I don't want to keep doing this, Severus, I don't. But I don't know what to do instead."
"Would you permit me to help you?" Severus asked.
"How?"
"I don't know this for sure, but from what you've told me of your past encounters, you seem to enjoy the submissive side?"
Harry nodded, the tears falling now. "I - I just want someone to look after me. I thought I just wanted the rough sex, you know? But that isn't really what it's about for me. The men who I was with, they didn't care about me. They just wanted the sex and were quite happy to try out some rougher stuff with me, but they didn't really care if they hurt me or not." Harry rubbed his hands over his face, wiping away the tears. "God, I'm pathetic, aren't I? A freak just like the Dursleys always said I was."
"Harry." Severus reached out and touched his hand. "There is nothing wrong or pathetic in wanting something different than the norm. You want that something different, but you are going the wrong way about it. Have you even heard of safe, sane and consensual?"
Harry shook his head. "No. I suppose what I was doing wasn't very safe, was it?"
"Did you at least use a protection spell or condoms?" Severus asked.
Harry blushed, but nodded. He sniffled a bit and searched around the bedside cabinet for a tissue, but he couldn't see any. Truth to tell, he couldn't see much without his glasses. Maybe that was why it was so easy to talk to Severus about this at the moment. He wouldn't see the expression on Severus' face: the disappointment on it. Harry was disappointed too, disappointed in himself that it took him almost dying to figure out that what he was doing wasn't good for him. Severus handed him a handkerchief and Harry wiped his nose.
"Do you really want to help me, Severus? Why?"
"I've been looking after you since you came to Hogwarts as a snotty eleven-year-old," said Severus.
Harry chuckled and wiped his nose again. "Still a bit snotty, aren't I?"
"As I was saying, I've looked after you and I don't want you to throw your life away. My - care for you didn't stop just because you are no longer a student. You said you wanted someone to look after you, I am willing to fulfill that role, if it is something you wish."
"I'm not so sure about wanting it," Harry said softly. "It's more like I need it. Will you give me rules and boundaries?"
"I will. I will also punish you if you break them."
"Is this about sex?" Harry asked. "Do you want to have sex with me?"
"Harry. You've spent the last two years going from one club to another, with random anonymous encounters. I think you need to refrain from any sexual activity for a while to see what it is you really want. Sex is off the table."
Harry grinned. "What about on the table? I've always had this fantasy of your desk."
"That's as may be, but I think we should take sex out of the equation for now. You need boundaries and discipline more than you need the sex, don't you?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry I was flippant. I really appreciate you doing this for me, Severus. I'd like to try things with you. No sex."
"Very well. When you are released from the infirmary, visit me in my quarters and we can lay down some ground rules. I'll leave you to your breakfast and Poppy's tender care."
***
Severus returned to his chambers, wondering if he'd done the wrong thing in offering to help Harry with this. From their previous discussions of Harry's nights out, it seemed that the young man was probably a submissive and had been trying his best to navigate the waters of the Dominant/submissive world without so much as a compass, never mind a map. The Wizarding world was a bit old-fashioned when it came to relationships, and while it wasn't exactly frowned upon to be gay, it certainly wasn't something that was discussed in polite company, either.
Harry had discovered that the hard way when he'd outed himself as gay in an interview with The Quibbler and he'd shown Severus the Howlers he'd received in response. Most of them having similar content, that Harry was disgusting and should be ashamed of himself. It was after those Howlers that Harry had started going out to the Muggle clubs, as the Muggles were a bit more open these days about homosexuality.
Severus had never hinted to Harry that he felt anything other than friendship towards him, not ever imagining that his feelings could ever be reciprocated. What would Harry want with an ugly, old man like him when he could have his pick of whomever he wanted? Severus felt more than friendship, that was true, but at the same time he didn't want to do anything that would jeopardise that same friendship. And having sex with Harry would certainly do that. Severus had experience of being a Dominant, though, and if he could teach Harry to become the submissive he wanted to be, in a safe environment, then it was the least he could do for the man who'd hailed him as a hero and kept him out of Azkaban once he'd recovered from Nagini's bite.
By the time he'd reached his rooms, his thoughts were calmer, but his body wasn't. He sat down and read a couple of pages of Potions Quarterly, but was too wound up to concentrate on the articles. He didn't know how long Harry would be; Poppy would have to examine him, get his eyes tested and maybe some more tests and treatments before she would let him leave the infirmary. Not to mention Harry getting his breakfast. Thinking of that had his own stomach growling, and Severus realised in all the worry over Harry he hadn't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon.
He headed to the small kitchen and made himself scrambled eggs and toast along with a large mug of coffee. By the time he'd eaten his breakfast, tidied away the ingredients and done the dishes, there was a soft knock on his outer door. Severus took a deep breath, smoothed down his robes and went to answer it. He felt like a nervous schoolboy about to go on a first date and he had to take a few deep breaths before he could open the door.
Harry stood on the other side, wearing a new pair of glasses, a tight black t-shirt which accentuated his upper arms and chest (when had Potter developed muscles?) and a pair of black jeans which hung low on his hips. Severus could see a small strip of white from his underwear visible over the waistband. "Come in, Professor Potter." Severus swung the door wide and marched through to the living room.
"So it's back to Potter, is it? I thought we were friends, Severus."
"We are. I'm sorry; I just didn't know how formal you wanted our contract to be."
"There's a contract?" Harry's jade eyes widened behind his new glasses.
"If you wish to be trained by me, then yes, I insist on a contract to protect both parties. Not all Dominants would ask for one, of course, but it is how I like to do things. It helps us both set boundaries about what we comfortable or uncomfortable with."
"Oh. Right. That makes sense, then."
Severus waved Harry to the sofa and took an armchair nearest the fireplace. "So, before we start our negotiations, Harry, is there anything you'd like to ask me?"
"Well, um, I was just wondering what I should call you? Some of the men I was with, they wanted to be called 'Master' and I have to say I'm not very comfortable with that." Harry shuddered and Severus could well imagine why. They both had the same reasons for not liking that title, after all.
"I would not like to be called 'Master', either. We both know why. 'Sir' is a perfectly acceptable title while we are acting out a scene and when we aren't, Severus will suffice."
"Good. Thank you, Sir," said Harry with a small smile and Severus found himself smiling in return.
"Now, Harry, can you tell me what you know of the BDSM scene?"
"Not a lot. I think - I think I'm submissive, but when I told the - the others that, they just took it to mean that they could hurt me as much as they liked. But that isn't what I wanted. I don't mind some pain, but I don't think I'd want to try breathplay again. It's not for me. You must think I'm a fool for letting things go so far that I almost died. It was a stupid idea."
"Some people find that the loss of oxygen augments orgasm to some extent, but from what I gather, you didn't get pleasure from that encounter?"
"No, I was too scared to feel any pleasure at all."
"What sort of discipline would you feel comfortable with, Harry? Would you be averse to caning or spanking, for example?"
"I think I'd be okay with that, but I don't know for sure. Can we just try things and see?"
"Certainly, that is usually what happens. As your Dominant it will be my remit to push or stretch your boundaries, but you need to know your own boundaries and stop me if I push too far or too hard. You have to respect yourself enough to know when enough is enough."
"How do I do that?"
"You'll have a safeword and if I do anything to make you uncomfortable, use your word and I will stop what I'm doing. Then we'll discuss what made you uncomfortable and how things might go better for you."
"But - but that means I would be in control," Harry said softly. "Shouldn't you just do what you want, as the Dominant?"
"There are many people who mistakenly believe that, Harry, but if you want a true taste of Domination and submission, then it is the sub that is in control. It takes great strength of will to submit yourself to another person. There must be trust between the couple, that the Dominant will look after the submissive as well as discipline him. It's about care and protection, not just that you can punish someone."
"Oh, God. I knew nothing like this. They all told me I had to do what they said because that's what subs were supposed to do and they never listened when I said I didn't like something."
"That's where the consensual part comes in," said Severus.
"Thank you for this, Severus. I would really like you to teach me properly, if you still want to."
"Harry, it would be my pleasure."
***
Three nights later, Harry returned to Severus' quarters for their first session as Dominant and submissive, for Severus wouldn't do it unless Harry was sure this was what he wanted and they had their contract sorted out between them.
Harry couldn't deny that he was still a little nervous despite the contract, but he knew he wanted to learn more about this lifestyle in a safe way, and not the scattergun approach he had been taking in the past. At eight o'clock on the dot, Harry knocked on Severus' outer door, the door swinging inward by itself to admit him.
Severus was seated behind his desk, scrawling something in red pen over someone's essay, and Harry was reminded of all those detentions when he'd been an errant student.
"On time, I see. That bodes well, Harry. Please strip and put your clothes on the desk."
Harry's eyes widened and his heart thudded against his ribcage. "I thought you said this wasn't about sex?"
"It isn't. It is about obedience and respecting your Dominant's wishes. Right now I wish for you to be naked."
"Oh. Oh, right. I'm sorry, Sir." Contradicting Severus' first order was hardly showing respect, was it? Harry had asked for these lessons, was he really going to fall at the first hurdle?
"I'll let it pass just this once. For now, just undress and kneel on the floor."
Harry blushed and headed over to the corner, turning his back as he undressed. It wouldn't be the first time he'd be naked in front of a man, but it would be the first time he'd be naked in front of Severus and he was surprised how nervous that made him. His hands were shaking as he untied his shoes and removed his socks; they were shaking even more when he turned to the buttons and zips of his clothes. His whole body felt flushed when he was down to his underwear and he hesitated for a few moments more, wondering if Severus would offer him a reprieve and he could keep his boxers on at least.
"When I said 'strip', I meant everything, Harry. Do not make me ask you again."
Harry took a deep breath, tugged his boxers down and stepped out of them. He folded them up along with the rest of his clothes and set them all on Severus' desk, to one side of the parchments on there.
"Very good. Kneel in front of my desk, hands behind your back, and do not move an inch. I will be doing some marking and you may think I won't see you if you move just a tiny bit. You'd be wrong. You will stay still or you will be punished, have I made myself clear?"
"Yes, Sir," Harry said, his heart thudding against his ribs at Severus' forceful tone. He knew that Harry needed both the boundaries and the punishments if he failed. No one had ever really bothered before. The Dursleys had punished him, but there had never been any boundaries for Harry, he was just punished because he was there and available. Sometimes Harry wondered if he'd never been sent to the Dursleys if they would have done the same to Dudley instead.
At school he had to cope with all that Boy Who Lived crap and the teachers let him get away with things that other students would have been expelled or suspended over. But not Severus Snape. He was the only teacher who had treated Harry like any other student. At first he thought he'd been singled out by the Potions teacher; it took a while to realise that he'd been so used to getting away with things from the other teachers that what Severus was doing seemed harsh.
Harry knelt down in front of Severus' desk and clasped his hands behind his back. It was an awkward position and he could feel his shoulders aching already. He ignored it and stayed still, but he wondered how long he would have to kneel here. The longer he knelt there, the less his nudity seemed to matter. Severus never glanced up from his marking to stare or leer at him.
Gradually Harry relaxed, or relaxed as much as the position allowed, taking deep even breaths, knowing that the physical discomfort was not going to last forever. He'd been in worse pain when he'd been living with the Dursleys and again when he had his arm broken in second year. His mind settled until all he was aware of was himself on the floor. Here, kneeling on Severus' floor, there were no expectations of him. He wasn't the Boy Who Lived, or the Boy Who Killed Voldemort, or one of the youngest professors at Hogwarts. Here he was finally free to be what he'd always wanted to be. Here he was just Harry.
"Harry. Harry."
The voice sounded a long way off, like he was hearing it through a long tunnel.
"You may get up now, Harry," Severus said and Harry realised the man was standing in front of him. Harry hadn't seen or heard him move.
Harry glanced up and was surprised at the concern he saw in those dark eyes.
"Are you all right, Harry? You didn't seem to hear me first time around."
"I'm fine, Sir," Harry replied. "I think — I think I went away somewhere. I feel a bit floaty."
"Ah," Severus said, as if that explained everything. "Let's get you up, eh?" Severus held out his hands for Harry to grab hold of. Harry took hold of them gratefully and pulled himself up. He stumbled as the blood flowed back to his extremities, knocking into Severus. "Sorry, Sir," Harry mumbled. "I feel a bit weird."
Severus hooked his leg around a chair nearest the desk and pulled it out with his foot. "Here, sit down for a moment. I'll get you a glass of water."
Harry sank down on the wooden chair, only then realising that he was still naked. He'd been unaware of that for a long time, but now he felt a bit awkward as he waited for Severus to come back with the water. Harry clasped his hands over his groin; he was tempted to dress before Severus returned but he was feeling a bit light-headed and didn't think he should risk it, despite the embarrassment. It wasn't as if Severus hadn't seen him naked for the evening.
His shoulders, arms and legs ached; they all felt like lead weights rather than flesh and blood and he hoped Severus wouldn't be too long. He needed to get some sleep before the students returned in the morning.
It didn't take long for Severus to return with the water. Harry sipped it, feeling less light-headed almost at once. "Thank you, Sir," said Harry, handing Severus back the empty glass.
"You're welcome. Shall we call it a night for now?"
"Yes, thanks. I need to get some sleep."
"I thought that with both our workloads once the students are back, that we restrict our sessions to the weekend. Does Friday and Saturday evening suit?"
"That's fine for me. Um, I'd like to get dressed now, Sir."
"Oh, of course." Severus stood up and went to stand by one of the bookshelves, as if he was browsing some of the titles, but Harry liked to think he'd really done it so that his back was to Harry and he could get dressed in privacy. Harry pulled on his clothes as quickly as he could.
"Thank you, Sir. I really appreciate you doing this for me," Harry said softly.
Severus turned around and folded his arms across his chest. "There is one other thing, Harry. I don't want you going back to those clubs, is that clear?"
Harry nodded; that was one order he would find easy to follow.
***
"Harry, so glad you could make it!" Molly Weasley wrapped Harry up in a hug and ushered him into the kitchen where everyone else was already seated. The empty place where Fred used to sit was filled now with George's new wife, Verity. Working together had brought them close, even closer since Fred's death, and they comforted each other.
"I couldn't miss Ron's birthday dinner, now could I?"
"I told you he'd be here, Mum," said Ron, standing up and clapping Harry on the back.
"I know Ron's birthday isn't until tomorrow, but I thought more people would be able to make it on a Saturday. There's not that worry of having to get up for work on Monday morning, is there?" Molly waved Harry into a seat next to Hermione, who smiled warmly at Harry and patted his hand under the table.
"You're looking well, Harry. How are things with you?"
"Things are fine. Better than fine." Harry realised as he spoke that it was true. Every weekend he spent kneeling naked on Severus' floor, the more free he felt. Severus had also taken Harry's wishes about being looked after to heart and had started having dinner for both of them during those weekend sessions, too. Severus had drawn up a healthy eating plan and an exercise regime that he expected Harry to stick to. Harry had been delighted; no one had ever bothered before. He ate what he was given at the Dursleys because that's all he got, and never much of it. Hogwarts didn't stint on food, but Harry wouldn't have known what was healthy and what wasn't.
Severus also allowed Harry to talk to him about anything that was worrying him. But being so open with Severus came with its own problems. The more time Harry spent with him, the more he liked him and not just as a friend. Harry was afraid to ruin their friendship so he had never told Severus how much his feelings were changing.
Harry turned to Hermione, trying to calm his thoughts. "How are you? Still getting morning sickness?"
"No, actually. Professor Snape brewed me the best anti-nausea potions I've ever had. I haven't been sick once after I started taking them."
Harry was surprised, Severus had never mentioned to him that he'd given Hermione any potions, but Harry had mentioned his friend's morning sickness during one of their many conversations. Maybe Severus was determined to look after Harry's friends as well as Harry, and it gave him a warm glow in his middle that Severus had been so thoughtful.
Conversation flowed, as did the food and drink. Portions were never small at the Burrow, but Harry worried a bit when it came to the birthday cake. Severus had allowed him to come to Ron's birthday dinner as long as he kept to his eating plan, and cake didn't feature anywhere in it. Once Ron had blown out the candles amidst clapping, cheering and a rendition of 'Happy Birthday', Molly began cutting the chocolate cake into enough slices for everyone around the table.
Harry stared at the slice of cake on his plate, just prodding it with a pastry fork, but making no move to eat it. Everyone else was digging in and Hermione moaned around her mouthful. She swallowed. "Oh, wow, that's delicious!"
"Thank you, dear," said Molly. "You haven't touched yours, Harry. Don't you like chocolate?"
"I do, I'm just a bit full from dinner."
"Go on, just one bite for a taste," said Hermione. "It's so light. Really amazing."
Harry knew how much effort Molly Weasley put into her cooking; it would be rude to refuse to even taste the cake. He smiled at her and took one bite of the chocolate. Hermione was right. It was amazing and Harry couldn't stop at just the one taste. He ate until the last crumb was gone from his plate. Harry stared at the empty plate, guilty now that he'd deliberately disobeyed one of Severus' orders. It was the first time he'd done so and he wondered what his punishment was going to be.
***
Severus found Harry to be delightfully submissive; he obeyed every one of Severus' orders without qualms and had yet to be in a situation where he needed to use his word. Severus hadn't requested anything too onerous as yet, for he wanted Harry to feel secure in his training and pushing Harry too far too fast was not the way to go. Unfortunately, Harry was also very responsive during their scenes; he got aroused very easily, even during what were supposed to be punishments. If Severus hadn't taken a libido-dampening potion before their sessions, he knew he would never have been able to resist Harry's tearful pleas for sexual contact.
Severus was trying to keep the training just that, without any sexual elements at all. That was difficult, for both he and Harry found the scenes arousing and it would have been so easy to give in. So easy, but not what Severus thought Harry needed right now. Because of his nature, he'd been preyed upon by other men in the past who'd just used Harry to slake their lusts; they hadn't cared about the young man at all. Severus did care about him, in his own mind he could even admit that he loved him, which made Severus all the more determined to do this right. Harry needed someone who saw Harry's submissiveness and trust for the gift it was. Severus was moulding Harry into the perfect submissive. A submissive for someone else.
It hurt when he realised that's what he was doing. Training Harry up and then handing him over to someone else. Severus didn't want Harry to be with anyone else, but he had no claim on Harry except for friendship. He would just have to settle for that, for Severus did not want to lose Harry's friendship. Severus would just have to pretend to be happy whenever Harry found the Dom of his dreams, someone more deserving of him than Severus.
Now for the first time in months, Harry wasn't in Severus' quarters but out at a birthday dinner for Ron Weasley and Severus felt the empty ache where Harry's presence usually filled his lonely weekends. As Harry's Dom, he could have forbidden Harry from going, but he knew Harry was more of a social butterfly than Severus had ever been and that Harry needed other friendships. He wanted to do the best for Harry, not just order him about for no reason. Harry seemed to like the boundaries, though, and even the punishments when he did something wrong, too. It seemed that Harry liked pain in a sexual sense, but not too much of it; spanking or paddling were the norm and he fought vehemently against anything else in the contract, particularly over a leather belt. Severus suspected that stemmed with Harry's time spent with his relatives, but he didn't pry. He didn't think he had a right to pry into something so personal unless Harry brought it up first.
Now, nearly ten past eleven, Severus sensed Harry's magical signature and went to open the door of the living room. Harry stood there, his arm raised in mid-air, his mouth agape at finding Severus there before he knocked.
"I'm sorry to disturb you so late, Sir."
"Come in, Harry. I already told you to visit me this evening no matter what time it was." Severus pulled the door aside so that Harry could follow him in. The fire was lit in the grate, casting shadows along the walls and bookcases. Severus knew that no matter what the time had been, he would have still been waiting up for his submissive.
Severus settled himself in the armchair nearest the fire and pointed to the floor at his feet. Harry knelt down in front of him, bending his neck, his movements graceful and elegant. "How did the birthday dinner go?" Severus asked, reaching out to caress Harry's hair. Harry loved his hair being petted and he angled into the touch.
"That's what I need to talk to you about, Sir," Harry said softly. "I need to be punished."
"Do you now? Go on," Severus said, wondering what infraction Harry thought merited a punishment this evening. There wasn't that much mischief to get up to at the Burrow.
"I didn't follow your healthy eating plan, Sir," Harry said hoarsely, as if he was trying not to cry. "I ate some of the birthday cake, Sir. I disobeyed your orders."
"Yes, you did, Harry. I'm disappointed that you disobeyed but I'm also proud that you had the courage to admit to your wrongdoing. You could have kept quiet about it."
"No, I couldn't!" Harry said vehemently, lifting his head to stare into Severus' eyes. "I couldn't not tell you. You're my Dom and I disobeyed you."
"You do know that confessing won't get you out of your punishment?"
"I know, Sir. I deserve whatever punishment you see fit to give me."
"Stand up and strip to just your shirt and socks," Severus commanded. Just because Severus had made it a rule never to touch Harry intimately didn't mean that he couldn't enjoy the view of Harry's body, and what a lovely view it was! Harry was short, there was no getting around that fact, but he was perfectly proportioned, with well-defined chest muscles and thighs well-toned from all his Quidditch. But it was Harry's arse that drew Severus' gaze again and again. Two perfect peach halves that would fit nicely in his hands if he dared to give into that temptation. Severus took a deep breath as he watched Harry disrobe, for he'd forgotten to take his potion tonight, not knowing that he'd be punishing Harry this evening.
Harry blushed and hung his head shyly as he was left standing in just his shirt and socks. He tugged the tails of the shirt down trying to hide his groin from Severus' gaze, but that wouldn't do. That wouldn't do at all.
"Do not hide from me, pet. I want to see you. Stand up straight, hands by your sides."
Harry obeyed instantly, giving Severus a perfect view of his hard cock. The easy compliance sent Severus' simmering arousal nearly to boiling point. Harry was so eager to please and Severus relished it. The young man was delectable, it was exquisite torture to be able to be so near and yet not be able to touch him the way he wanted to. But maybe there was something else Severus could do that wouldn't cross those lines…
"Across my lap, Harry. I think you deserve a spanking, don't you?"
"Sir, please! I can't! I can't do this anymore! Kitten! Kitten!" Harry sobbed and sank to his knees again, his tears dripping onto the rug in front of the fire.
"Harry? What have I done? Have I hurt you? Have I pushed you too far in our games?"
Harry shook his head. "No, Sir. It's not that."
"Then what is it? What's wrong?"
"I can't pretend that this is just a game anymore, that you're training me for someone else. Every time you say I'll make a Dom proud, my heart breaks just a little bit more. I don't want anyone else, Severus. I want you. I'm in love with you and you see me as just some sort of project, trying to save Harry from himself yet again. I don't want to be saved. I just want to be with you. If you don't have any sort of feelings for me, I can't do this anymore. I just can't." Harry shuddered and sat back on his heels.
Was it true? Was Harry just saying the words that Severus had dreamed about coming from those beautiful lips?
"Harry, I didn't think I deserved you. I thought you needed someone younger, someone your own age. Not someone like me. I didn't want to lose your friendship, so I was afraid. Afraid to admit my feelings for you."
"What?" Harry's head shot up, that emerald gaze piercing Severus down to his very soul.
"I'm in love with you too, Harry," Severus finally admitted.
"You git!" Harry ranted. "Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"
"I didn't think you'd be interested in me and that by even mentioning it we could no longer be friends. I thought you deserved someone better."
"What I deserve," Harry said hotly, "is to be happy with the man I love and that man is you." Before Severus even had a chance to reply, Harry knelt up and snogged him breathless. He didn't need air anyway. All he needed was Harry. They were both fools. Why had they denied themselves for so long?
***
Harry thought for sure that Severus might have hexed him after that kiss, but Severus wasn't in a position to hex anyone. He was too busy deepening the kiss and placing his hand on Harry's neck, as if to keep him in place. Severus needn't have worried. Harry had no intention of going anywhere. Not now, not when both of them had revealed their feelings to one another. What a waste! They could have been together for months already, but Harry was determined not to let another second go to waste. He pulled back from Severus' mouth and whispered into the breath of air between them. "Fuck me, Sir, please."
"Not yet," Severus said and Harry felt his heart sink to somewhere near his feet. "You haven't yet had your punishment, pet. Come with me." Severus stood up from the armchair and held out his hand.
"Sir?" Harry asked, slightly confused by now.
"I am not a young man anymore, Harry and I am not about to rut on the rug like some horny teenager."
"But it's such a lovely rug," said Harry with an unrepentant grin. "We could always use a cushioning charm."
"Indeed we could, but I want the first time I make love to you for it to be on a bed. Come with me, now, or are you angling to extend your punishment already?"
"No, Sir," Harry replied at once and stood up to take hold of Severus' hand, feeling it warm and soft in his own. It was the first time they'd ever touched skin on skin like this, since their arrangement began. Severus usually paddled Harry while he was draped over Severus' desk, or the sofa, but he'd never touched him, not even when Harry was all but begging for it. Tonight was going to be different though, Harry could tell just from the tension in Severus' body. Severus was trying his best to stay in control, but sometimes Harry just wanted him to lose control and fuck him senseless. Maybe tonight he might get it.
Severus jabbed his wand at one of the wooden doors leading off the living room and it opened to his whispered spell. He dragged Harry through by the hand and Harry couldn't help chuckling when he spied Severus' décor. The walls were papered in a silvery, silk wallpaper that was covered in bats, crows and ravens. All of Severus' furniture was black, from the wrought iron four-poster bed to the wardrobe, dresser and bedside cabinets. The furniture had silver handles or knobs and the bed was draped in black velvet curtains, held back by silver tassels and embroidered with silver stars in the same design as the coverlet. Nearly every spare surface seemed to be covered in books or parchment, except for the two bedside cabinets which each held silver and glass lanterns with two fat white candles inside. There were iron sconces on the wall but with a wave of his wand, Severus only set alight the two lanterns by the bed, enveloping everything in a warm glow.
"Something amusing you, pet?" Severus asked, but he couldn't hide his smile either.
"It's just so — it's just so you," Harry said at last. "I love it."
Severus stared at him, and even though Harry was still dressed in his shirt and socks, he felt naked under that gaze and he shivered as a jolt of arousal thickened his cock.
"On the bed for me, Harry. On your hands and knees."
Harry swallowed and did just that. How did Severus know that this was one of Harry's favourite positions? It was as if Severus knew exactly what Harry wanted, even before Harry voiced it. Harry's shirt-tails brushed against his buttocks as he settled on the bed, his hands and knees being caressed by the soft velvet below him. He hissed in pleasure and couldn't help arching his hips.
The bed shifted as Severus climbed up behind him. "I'm going to spank you tonight, Harry. You're finally going to feel my hands on you. Ten, I think. Five for eating the cake when you weren't supposed to and five for not obeying my instructions at once. You should know better by now than to argue with your Dom. I've trained you better than that, haven't I?"
"Yes, Sir. I'm sorry, Sir."
"Very well, then. Keep count, Harry. I want to hear you. I want to hear your voice break when you can no longer handle the pain. But you'll handle it, Harry. I know how strong you are and if you come all over my velvet coverlet, I will be most disappointed in you. You don't want to disappoint me, Harry, do you?" As Severus spoke, he started caressing Harry's buttocks, just a light touch, but it was heady all the same.
"No, Sir."
The first smack made Harry fall forward in an awkward heap, his arms and head pushed down on the covers, his arse sticking up in the air. "O -one!" Harry gasped.
"Very good, Harry. I do love you in that position, your arse is delectable. Just begging to be spanked, to be fucked."
Number two and three were delivered in such quick succession that Harry had to call out the numbers almost at the same time. Severus varied his strokes; sometimes he spanked Harry in the middle of his arse, sometimes on one cheek only and again sometimes where Harry's thighs met his buttocks but always he left a stripe of red fire in his wake.
By six Harry's eyes were glistening with unshed tears and his arse was stinging. Harry didn't realise that a spanking would be quite this painful, he thought it wouldn't hurt as much as the paddle, but he'd been wrong. "S - s- seven!" Harry sobbed into the pillow, his hands fisting the covers below him as he fought to stay strong.
Despite the pain, or maybe even because of it, Harry's cock was rock-hard and leaking onto the velvet below him. It wouldn't take much; Harry had come before without his cock ever being touched when Severus had paddled him. That had earned him an extra punishment, as his Dom hadn't given him permission to come. But it was more than the threat of extra punishment that had Harry trying so hard not to come. He wanted Severus to be proud of him.
"Eight! Eight! Oh, Sir! Oh, God, I'm gonna come!" Harry wailed as he felt his balls contract unexpectedly.
"Not yet, Harry. Two more. You can do it, I know you can."
Harry wasn't so sure of that. He gripped the bedclothes in his fist and tossed his head from side to side on the pillow by the headboard as Severus delivered number nine.
"Nine! Nine! Fuck! Fuck! Do it quick, Sir! Please!"
Severus took him at his word and spanked him again, harder than all the others combined. Harry was light-headed and dizzy with arousal, but he hadn't come, not yet.
"Good boy, Harry. I'm so very proud of you." Severus draped himself across Harry's back and kissed him on the back of the neck. Harry could feel Severus' erection brush against his heated arse and he hissed, but whether it was from pain or arousal, he wasn't quite sure.
"Accio salve," Severus whispered and a crystal jar zoomed into his hand.
"Sir?" Harry angled his head around and saw Severus dipping his fingers into the gel. Severus had never healed him before and Harry quite liked it that way. He liked the reminder of his punishments every time he sat down.
"It will just take the sting out a little, Harry, it won't heal you completely. But I want you to enjoy what we're going to do next, not worry about the pain in your arse."
"Thank you, Sir," Harry said and settled his head on the pillow once more.
The gel was cool and soothed his abused flesh, but he could still feel a slight twinge there and he was glad of it. Not enough to stop him enjoying whatever Severus was going to do to him, but enough of a burn to know that he'd been punished. Once Severus had finished smoothing the gel onto Harry's cheeks, two slick thumbs pressed against his entrance. "Tell me if I hurt you," Severus commanded as he pressed his thumbs deeper inside the ring of guardian muscles. It didn't hurt, it was just a welcome stretch and burn and Harry couldn't help arching backwards, trying to get more of it.
"So eager, pet?" Severus asked, chuckling as he did so.
"You have no idea!" Harry gasped out.
"Oh, I think I do." Severus removed his thumbs and one hand slid around to glove Harry's hard and leaking cock.
Harry bucked and whimpered. "Please, Sir! In me! Oh, God in me!"
Severus lightly smacked Harry's thigh. "You will get my cock when I'm good and ready to give it to you, Harry, and not before. You are being far too forward this evening and if you don't behave, I might not let you come at all." Harry knew it was no idle threat, not when Severus' whispered another spell and the base of his cock was constricted with a silver cock-ring, trapping him on the verge of orgasm but not allowing him to fall over it.
"Sir, I'm sorry! Please let me come, please!" Harry wept tears of frustration. He was so hard. He needed to come; he was desperate to come, his cock and balls aching with want of release.
"We'll see," Severus said. After that, Harry didn't know how long Severus spent preparing him with oiled fingers, but every second seemed too long. Harry wanted Severus' cock, not just his fingers, and he had to stop himself begging for that again. He grunted and moaned, shuffling along the bed, hoping Severus would take pity on him and fuck him soon. This was torture, exquisite, blissful torture, and he wasn't sure whether he wanted it to end or wanted it to continue. Severus removed his fingers. "On your back, Harry. I want to see you the first time I take you."
Harry was eager to comply and turned over, his heart clenching when he saw the scars decorating Severus' body. Faded whip marks covered his chest and legs. The scars from Nagini's bite had faded somewhat but they would never be completely gone; the magical venom would prevent perfect healing. Harry saw the scars anew; saw how much they told of this man's bravery, of all his sacrifices. "I love you," Harry whispered as he reached up and pushed a sweaty hand away from Severus' face. Severus bent down to kiss him and Harry arched up against the hard body on top of him. If it hadn't been for the cock-ring, he was sure he would have been coming between them in an instant.
Severus pulled away and knelt up on the bed. "Spread your legs, Harry. Good boy." Severus pushed Harry's legs up towards his chest and finally, finally Harry was breached by something much bigger and thicker than fingers and Severus' cock was enveloped by Harry's eager, grasping hole. "Oh, fuck!" Harry yelled as Severus filled him in two large thrusts. It didn't hurt, but it was so unexpected, and despite the cock-ring, Harry felt another surge of arousal spike in his balls and cock.
"You feel wonderful around me, Harry. So hot and tight, just for me." Severus was panting harshly, his breath a harsh rasp as he fucked Harry into the mattress. There was nothing slow or tender about it and Harry knew both of them were too far gone to want slow and tender tonight. Tonight was about hard and fast, about the release building between them. Severus' hands were gripping Harry's legs so tightly that Harry suspected there would be bruises there tomorrow, but he didn't care. He wanted those bruises, wanted a visual reminder that he belonged to this man above him. "Such an eager little slut you are, Harry, and you're all mine."
"Yes! Yes!" Harry hissed, bucking his hips. "Only ever yours, Sir!"
"No one else will ever touch you, I won't allow it!" Severus growled as he leaned down to take Harry's mouth in a devouring kiss that seemed to last an eternity but couldn't have been more than a few minutes.
When Severus pulled back, they were both gasping for air and their hips had increased their speed, urgency driving them on. Harry wailed as he arched towards Severus cock, feeling so aroused he feared he might come despite the cock-ring. But his master hadn't given permission.
"Sir, please! Please let me come! Please!"
"Very well, Harry. I'm going to remove the ring, but don't come until I order it. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Sir, I promise." Harry would promise him the moon and the stars and not just because he wanted to come. He wanted to give Severus everything he'd ever wanted.
Severus whispered the release spell and the cock-ring disappeared to wherever it had been conjured from. Harry bit his lip to stop himself from coming so soon; he knew it wouldn't take long at all. He'd been teased almost past endurance this night but he didn't want to disappoint his master again.
Severus increased his pace, making the headboard rattle along the wall behind the bed. Harry could see the strain on Severus' face as he too tried to hold back for as long as possible, but Harry knew the dam would have to break sometime. Severus snapped his hips, once twice and screamed, "NOW, HARRY! NOW!"
"Ohh! Ohhh! Fuckit! Fuck! I'm coming! I'm coming! Sev'rus! Sev'rus!" Harry yowled like a tomcat as he came, spilling over his abdomen in copious spurts of white heat. Ropes and ropes left his cock; some even landed on his chin and chest. He was floating somewhere else again, almost as if he wasn't in his body, but watching things from afar. His arse and thighs contracted around Severus' body and with a muffled grunt Severus came inside him, both their bodies trembling in the aftermath. They were both sweaty and covered in Harry's come, but Harry had never felt so good in all his life. It had never felt that before. Severus shifted, trying to remove his cock from Harry's arse, but Harry's arse twitched as though it didn't want to let it go.
"Sir, I think you can scrape me down from the ceiling now," said Harry with a tired grin.
"Indeed, you better let me get down first, though. That good, eh?"
"Brilliant!" Harry said, stifling a yawn.
"Let's get cleaned up and get to sleep," said Severus.
"You're not kicking me out?" Harry asked, unable to keep the worry out of his voice.
"Harry, I've already told you how I feel about you. I'm not about to let you go, not for one second. Your place is here, with me."
"Good," Harry pulled Severus down for a kiss. Both of them grimaced when they pulled apart, almost stuck together by the semen still on Harry's chest. Severus leaned down and licked Harry's chin free of it before casting a cleaning spell over the rest of them.
"I'm too tired for a shower tonight," Severus said.
"Me too," said Harry. "We'll get some sleep and maybe tomorrow we can see about making love on that rug."
"Do you have an obsession with my flooring or something?"
"Not just the floor, your desk too. The one in your office. You don't know how many detentions I had with you just wishing you would just lose control and fuck me senseless over that desk."
"Really? I had no idea you harboured such erotic fantasies about your greasy Potions teacher, Harry."
"You're not greasy," Harry said sleepily, raking his fingers through Severus' silky hair.
"Goodnight, pet," Severus said as he gave Harry a soft kiss to his forehead. Harry snuggled up to him, leaning his head on Severus' chest. Severus didn't hex him, so Harry knew it was all right. "Sleep well."
And Harry knew he would. Now that he and Severus had finally admitted their feelings for one another, their nights would never be lonely again.