DEM Fun - Sombrero
No warnings, no ratings other than the usual R, no A/N, no title either. Just five 100 word drabbles for the prompt ‘sombrero’. And yes, I know no-one but me is going to find this funny. Pity for you. Have a wonderful holiday, whatever it is you celebrate. I’m off to decorate the tree now.
"Come on Draco, it’s only a hat.“
“Potter, this is not a hat, it’s an abomination of fashion and all things holy. There is no way in muggle hell I am wearing this.”
“I’m not the one who keeps complaining about looking like a boiled lobster every time he stays in the sun for longer than it takes to bring in the newspaper.”
“Which I wouldn’t have to do if you wouldn’t stubbornly insist on living in a muggle neighbourhood.”
“I bought it just for you, you know? Please wear it? It’s not that bad.”
“It’s a bloody sombrero, Harry!”
+
“You went to Mexico and brought me this?”
“You said, ‘Bring me back something Mexican’.”
“When I said ‘Mexican’ I was thinking more along the lines of hot, horny and male. Not big, round and ugly.”
“And where do you think I would have stored a Mexican boy?”
“Are you or are you not a wizard, Harry?”
“Best wizard there is.”
“Somehow, I doubt that, currently.”
“Look inside the sombrero.”
“Why, did you hide a Mexican in there?”
“No. Only a few hairs.”
…
“Let’s go and raid Severus’ polyjuice stores, shall we?”
“After you, love, after you.”
+
“I knew you were a kinky little blighter, Drake, but I never figured you were that perverted.”
“It’s a hat, Potter, not a chastity belt. Put it on and I promise I’ll make it worth your time.”
“There is no way I’m letting you shag me with a bleeding sombrero on. I do have standards, you know?”
“Really, I never guessed.”
“Fuck you, Draco.”
“I intended to, but you refuse to cooperate.”
“That was not an invitation.”
“Pity.”
…
“Okay, here’s the deal. I wear the hat. You wear a chastity belt.”
…
“You know, Harry, I think I’ll just…incendio.”
+
“What the hell do I give Ron for his birthday?”
“Must you bother me with your trivialities in the middle of the night, love?”
“It’s almost noon and Ron’s birthday is today, Draco.”
“So? Isn’t it enough to bring me to the party?”
“If anything, Ron might demand extra presents to make up for your presence.”
“Blasphemous savage.”
“No name calling, remember?”
“He called me a vain queen just last week.”
“That was a statement, love, not name calling.”
“So was me calling him a savage.”
“Draco, birthday present for Ron? Please?”
“Merlin, just buy the git a sombrero.”
“….???”
+
“Headwear, eight across.”
“Could you focus, Potter, I’m giving you phenomenal head here!”
“I’m trying to, Draco…. oh, Christ, do that again.”
“Well, it doesn’t sound like it.”
“I’m trying…. to hold ….oh, Merlin’s shrivelled balls!”
“So, Potter, tell me again why you think of cross word puzzles while I’m giving stellar head?”
“I was trying to hold off. Didn’t work though.”
“Of course not.”
“Wipe that grin off your face, would you?”
“What’s in it for me?”
“Just give me one minute.”
+
Next I tag….The first person who comments? I think I like that. And don’t you dare not commenting because you’re sissies. If no-one takes the prompt, I’ll use my mod authority, actually take a look at the list and pick someone. So, prompt: I’d like to see pressed flowers.