(delivered a day late by a very bedraggled, soaked bird) To: Orla Quirke From: Chad Montgomery
The parcel contains a model of Chad's ship in a bottle with charmed waves, and a tiny Chad figure running around on the deck. Accompanying card reads:
I TRIED TO CHARM HIM TO TALK BUT IT DIDN'T WORK. HE DOES DO A DANCE THOUGH!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. I LOVE YOU.
--CHAD
To: Scottie Inglebee, Eddie MacDougal, Oliver Wood From: Chad Montgomery
This parcel includes a vial containing the memory of dramatic story-telling night in the pub in Bordeaux, at which Chad told the story of the gruesome, horrifying, awesome tale of Captain Murchadh and his friends Evil-Eyed Inglebee (if he looked at you wrong, you'd be dead by nightfall), Manly Monster MacDougal (whose muscles were manly and monstrous!), and Big Wood (whose name was awesome enough that it didn't need any other descriptors except for 'Big') defeating the One-Eyed Snake of the Lagoon with the help of the Breakfast Fairy.
YES, I TALK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO AWESOME NOT TO TALK ABOUT
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE INFAMOUS IN FRANCE. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
To: Ella Montgomery From: Chad Montgomery
This parcel contains a deck of tarot cards charmed to tell fortunes themselves, and the fortunes always end in gruesome death, no matter what cards come up.
BOUGHT THESE OFF A FORTUNE TELLER AFTER THEY TOLD ME MY OWN SPINE WOULD STRANGLE ME TO DEATH IN MY SLEEP AND THEN MY SHOES WOULD EAT MY CARCASS. THOUGHT YOU'D ENJOY THEM