If Nate thought that he was making it better, he was horribly mistaken. Garan had raised his head at the word "boyfriend" only to have it immediately taken back. He tried not to look disappointed, but he failed at masking it. It was amazing how fast Nate could change Garan's entire mood, proof that Garan was completely opened to him now. And he'd just gone from embarrassed to hurt to hopeful back to hurt in record time.
"Oh. I see," he answered. Garan was still terribly embarrassed, so he felt as though he needed to make it seem like it was all okay. He gave Nate a smile that looked absolutely painful and forced, but at least he'd tried. When Garan took down all his walls, it was hard to put them back up again, and it was even harder to mask his true feelings, like now.
And then Garan gave up because pretending was useless. "You know what? Fuck it," he erupted. "Of course I'm not sorry," he continued, staring up at Nate. "I'm just not. I called you that because every healthy relationship I'm around - every last one - there are pet names, particularly that one. So imagine what must've been going through my subconscious that allowed me to call you that. And I've never thought of you as a girl! You're quite obviously not, but it's never been about that, Nate. It's about how comfortable I felt with you a few moments ago." With that Garan sighed and looked away. "I wish you were," he said quietly.