bellamy blake (whoweneedtobe) wrote in shipsahoy, @ 2016-01-26 13:11:00 |
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Entry tags: | ! scene, clarke griffin (borninspace) |
who: Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin
what: Meeting up
when: After this (after he sees Octavia)
where: Clarke's room
warnings: It's The 100 so, you know, probable reference to death, destruction, and violence in varying forms.
status: Closed, Ongoing
--
He could have told her that he was going to be running late. He could've said that he was meeting Octavia first and then he'd be by. But a part of Bellamy was bitter and a part of him was distracted by his sister's urgency, and so he didn't. He was just late. And as he strode down the hallway, he finally felt a flash of guilt. But he set his jaw and scowled up at the ceiling in frustration. He had no obligation to feel guilt for just showing up late for Clarke. After all, she just left and didn't come back. If he was going to feel guilty, he needed to feel guilty over his people who were stuck back at home without him. But even as he insisted it, Bellamy was moving more quickly. It turned out avoiding feeling anything at all where Clarke was concerned as a tougher sell than he expected it to be.
The only thing that aided in his resolve to be as neutral as possible was the visual of Jasper in the arms of that Azgeda man, that empty grin on his face. Just thinking back to it made Bellamy shudder. He couldn't tell Clarke about that. About hauling Jasper off the floor more times than he could count. How cruel Jasper chose to be to Monty. Sure, Clarke had suffered on her own, hunted for what she did. But Bellamy and Monty played their roles too, and they were suffering in their own ways and the wounds were just as deep. He filled his mind with all the frustrations and the guilt and the weight of responsibility he had been feeling these past three months. Bellamy reminded himself of how hard it had been, how much he had to shoulder, how many people he had to take care of. He thought of Raven's chronic pain that she didn't want anyone to know about, Jasper's spiral, and of how Lincoln was trapped among them even when he wasn't one of them. How Octavia was struggling so hard to find a place for herself. It was enough to keep his fury and indignation up and alive as he made he way to Clarke's room. She didn't know. She didn't understand. He didn't have to answer to her.
But when he reached the room number she had provided, Bellamy's mind decided to betray him rather than keep up the litany of things he'd had to do on his own and all those struggles. Instead, he remembered the fear that tumbled down his spine when Kane and Indra said Clarke was being hunted. The frustration and concern over the notion that she was a symbol to be chased down, collected, and manipulated for someone's political gain. He wanted to be apathetic in the face of seeing Clarke again, but that wouldn't have been the case back home and he knew it couldn't be the case here either. So with a heavy, annoyed sigh, Bellamy cleared his throat and lifted a hand to knock on the door.