Who: Carson & Jared What: Visit Where: Castle View, then out and about When: Monday, Oct 9, Afternoon Status: Complete
Going to the gym when Carson wasn't working wasn't really a big deal but this was the third time Jared headed in there and did not see his buddy. This time he actually thought to ask and he had to wonder how he hadn't heard about this before now. Carson had been attacked by an animal just a few days ago and was probably not coming into work for a while. They weren't exactly close friends but Jared liked to shoot the shit with him while they worked out and he was the first person Jared had come out to after Ty so it felt only right to go check up on him. After his workout he stopped by Moxie's for some takeaway comfort food and headed to Carson's place. If he wasn't in any mood to chat Jared could just leave him some doughnuts and some well wishes to get better.
It was still early when he knocked on Carson's door after only sending him a quick text a few minutes earlier about how he was going to be stopping by. Short notice? Jared didn't think it mattered when you were home with an illness or injury. It got really boring really fast.
Carson wasn’t doing so hot, overall. He’d never been a person who was happy to stay sequestered up at home, mostly alone, and he’d already done that so much in his life, he had a very honed hatred of it. His new prosthetic was on order, but they’d been able to get him a wheelchair, so he was mobile around the house. He would’ve been using his crutches, but he still couldn’t put a lot of weight on his left leg without blinding pain. Carson had tried to go out himself a few times in the chair without Rylee’s help, but it had been hard as hell, his car wasn’t really set up for that kind of thing. It probably should’ve been. He was learning a lot about how he hadn’t set himself up very well for his limitations.
The text from Jared was more than welcome, Carson had been doing nothing but lounging and taking his pain meds and playing video games. Rylee was at work, and he was bored and restless. He put a shirt on and got himself settled in his chair before the knock arrived. Carson pushed himself over there and opened up, looking up -- way up, holy shit -- at Jared with a little squint through his glasses. “Hey man,” he said, wheeling backward. “Come on in.”
"I brought comfort food," Jared told him as he stepped on in, giving Carson a one over and a sympathetic smile. "You're allowed to get a little chubby when you're sick, didn't ya hear?" He closed the door behind him and took in the vibe of the place. He'd never been to Carson's home before so maybe it was long overdue. "How are you holdin' up?"
“Ah, you’re the fuckin’ best.” There were obvious influences from both him and Rylee around the living room, in the decor and the electronics and the art on the walls. They blended together fairly well to make a comfortable single-people apartment, Carson had always thought. There was nary a hint of incestuous feelings in sight. There was, however, kind of a mess, but that was to be expected when he was spending so much time on the couch. Carson gestured for Jared to have a seat, pulling up next to the clean part of the sectional sofa. “At least I’m getting my arm work in every day,” he said with a chuckle and a shrug. “Otherwise ... I’m healing, but it’s slow going.”
Jared sat down but he didn't get too comfortable, ready to bounce up to his feet again if he needed anything. "I can make coffee or something," he offered. "You should definitely use me while I'm here." It was weird to say shit like that and realize it could be construed as sexual but he absolutely didn't mean it like that and he doubted Carson would take it as such. He put the box of treats on the coffee table and looked around a little wondering which of those things were Carson's and which were Rylee's. They blended together pretty nicely.
Carson hadn’t been able to think of anything sexual since a giant fucking dire wolf had tried to bite his good leg off. He’d been kind of sickly the first few days, running a low grade fever and suffering under a massive headache, but thankfully that had passed with lots of painkillers and sleep. Everything since then had been frustration, though. He reached for the food that Jared had brought and let out a happy groan as he opened it up. “Leave it to my cop friend to bring doughnuts,” he said, shooting Jared a wry little grin. Carson started to shake his head at the offer of help, then hummed around his first huge doughnut bite and held a finger up. Once he’d swallowed, he pulled an apologetic face. “Can you run me to the store? I hate to ask, but Rylee closes tonight, and I need some stuff.”
Jared chuckled at the cop comment. It was one stereotype he didn't mind because who didn't love doughnuts? "I can go for you," he said though he suspected Carson might want to leave the house. It was still a valid offer, in case he didn't feel like going anywhere. "Does that chair fold up? It could fit in back if you're dying to get outta the house." He would have had to decline if he hadn't bought a new car already. His old car had been painfully small for a guy of his size and he sure wouldn't have been able to fit a wheelchair anywhere but the roof.
He nudged his glasses up with one thumb, and pointed at Jared at the last part. “That. I’m so fucking stir crazy, I’m about to crawl out of my skin. Yeah, it folds ... we don’t have to go immediately though, take a load off, tell me what’s up.” Carson raised his eyebrows at Jared expectantly. He kind of felt like a prisoner, hungry for news of the outside world. Which was ridiculous, because he wasn’t completely homebound, and he talked to Rylee every day. He hadn’t been getting a ton of visitors, and he’d been putting off calling Brad about their auction date, but Carson kept hoping his new leg would be in soon and he could get back on crutches.
Jared absolutely got that, he wasn't sure he'd handle it at all being cooped up at the house for more than a couple of days. He turned into the whiniest baby when he had the flu alone, let alone an injury. "Alright," he said with a smile and settled into his seat a little more. "I can take you more places than just the store, you know, but since you asked? Well..." He grinned a little giddily and felt a bit dorky with his feelings all over the place. "So you're the first person I kinda came out to but I didn't tell you the whole truth. I don't know if you've heard rumors yet or what but... I'm seeing my partner... Ty Solomon?" They'd agreed to be out but he still felt like he was outing Ty in a bad way as he said his name, which was ridiculous.
Carson had expected to hear some town news or cop stuff, so that revelation took him by surprise. He stopped chewing for a second before finishing off the doughnut and giving Jared a grin. Just that look on his face was like a breath of fresh air, it was unspeakably nice already to talk about something that didn’t have anything to do with his leg. “Nah man, I haven’t heard shit, I’ve been cooped up here. But that’s awesome. I know Solomon, he comes into the gym a lot,” Carson said. “Didn’t know he was into dudes too, but ... shit, how’s that going? With the job and all?”
"Yeah I only found that out a few weeks ago," Jared said with a sheepish grin. "But it's going great. We had to inform our boss and all so we can't go on patrols together anymore but uh, we kinda outed ourselves so we didn't have a choice." It felt good, telling someone and getting a good reaction. His mom had been a little taken aback but Carson was bi so he understood and didn't judge. Jared wasn't sure there would be that many more like him so he was going to enjoy it while he could. "You sure you don't want coffee or something? Can't have sugary treats without coffee, right?"
“Nah, I’m good man, thanks though,” Carson said. There was a water bottle in reach, so he grabbed it and took a swig to wash the sugar down. “I don’t need anything extra keeping me awake, it’s so hard to sleep when I’m not doing anything all day long.” He would also have to limit his intake of sweets, so Carson didn’t reach for any of the other goodness in the box right away. One sugar-bomb at a time. “I mean, unless you want coffee?” he added, raising his eyebrows to Jared again.
Jared laughed and waved his hand dismissively. "Nah, I've had way too much coffee today." He hesitated then inclined his head as he glanced at Carson's leg. "So.. What did that?" He couldn't help but ask. Carson hadn't filed a police report and it certainly wasn't the first animal attack in town, Jared just hated that they hadn't caught whatever creature was out there daring enough to come into town and attack people.
Carson glanced down at his legs too. He was wearing comfortable basketball shorts, so only the sock-covered end of his stump showed on one side, and his bandaged calf on the other. He’d known that question was coming, of course, and he’d tried to think of what to tell people. Carson finally had settled on always giving the truth, whether they believed him or not. He looked up at Jared again, his smile gone, and nudged up his glasses. “It was canine, I know that. But it was bigger than any dog or wolf I’ve ever seen. Really aggressive, came outta nowhere ... It would’ve been a lot worse if I hadn’t gotten to the back door when I did,” he said. “And I know how that sounds, but ... it’s true.”
"Sounds like you're lucky to be alive," Jared said softly. There were weird things out there and it could be hard to tell what was what in the dark, especially when things happened fast. "There's been a few attacks like that lately, we still haven't found out what it is or why it's acting so unnatural. Did you get checked- of course you did, nevermind." He shook his head and smiled faintly. "I'm glad you made it out of there okay, or you know, alive."
“Thanks,” Carson said first with a wan smile. He was glad to be alive too. He was pretty sure if that thing had really gotten a hold of him, he wouldn’t be. One intimate brush with death was bad enough, this was two too many. When he’d just been minding his own fucking business too, and not in a war zone. He was grateful that Jared didn’t look at him askance, but Carson supposed if it had happened before, the cops would be the ones who knew most about it. “Yeah, I got rabies shots, just in case. The doctors said they didn’t think there would be any permanent damage, puncture wounds and tears just take a while to heal. And it fucked up my prosthetic, so until I get another leg, I’m Wheels McGee over here. Can you tell me who else it attacked, or is that some kinda cop-civilian confidentiality thing?”
Jared thought about it for a couple of seconds before shaking his head. "I can't tell you much about ongoing investigations but I'm sure you heard about Jeffrey Looms by now. He was not as lucky as you..." That had been brutal, poor Looms didn't stand a chance. "Then there was an unfortunate cow outside of St. Dismas. I don't know what kind of animal we're dealing with but it sure makes you wonder." He wished he could tell Carson they'd found the creature already and put it down but there seemed to be no sign of it in between attacks which just made the whole thing even weirder.
Carson wasn’t too surprised, he knew about protocol. Maybe he could hit up the cute nurse guy to see if he could give Carson some names. He kind of still felt like he was going crazy, so having someone to corroborate his story would at least make him feel better. None of the other Waterfront employees had seen or heard anything, and everybody kept telling him it had to have been some wild dog, but Carson had seen it up on its hind legs and what fucking dog could do that? “Yeah I dunno either,” he muttered, his gaze faraway for a moment before he snapped out of it. “I hope you guys can find it though, it’s gonna kill more people if not, I’d bet money on it.” Carson let that statement sit for a second, then shook his head as if to shake it all away. “Anyway. Happier topics. Did you say you guys outed yourselves? How’d that happen?”
Jared was fine with switching topics since he had no good news to tell Carson about the animal at large. He laughed a little at the question and shook his head. "It was... weird? We kinda got carried away at karaoke. I won this stupid bet we made and he owed me a stupid song, I didn't think we'd end up singing love ballads but there you go." It was one of those things he didn't really want to examine too closely. It made him wonder if it was some subconscious urge to be out and maybe he'd somehow accidentally manipulated Ty into doing it, but that didn't make a lick of sense either as Ty had been just as into it as Jared had been. "We decided to just out and say it before rumors got started."
Jared really didn’t look too fussed about it, so Carson took that as a good sign. Coming out was traumatic for some people, and he’d had no clue that Jared was anything but straight until he’d told Carson that night at the gym. He also didn’t have any family in town and had recently been through a shitty divorce, so maybe he just didn’t care what people around here thought anymore. Carson couldn’t blame him if that was the case. And who was going to fuck with a guy -- a cop, no less -- that size anyway? Only an idiot. “Probably smart, you know how people talk around here. Well even though it wasn’t on purpose, congratulations man,” he told Jared with a smile. “Not giving a fuck and just being who you are is kinda relaxing.” Unless who you were wanted to fuck your own cousin, of course, but that was Carson’s to deal with. “Ty happy with it? I always thought he was kinda this playboy.”
Jared let out a little bark of a laugh and nodded enthusiastically. "I did too! I thought he had all these lady friends down in Bangor, turns out he was just in the closet." And he'd had one night stands with guys so that insecurity was still lurking underneath everything but Jared thought they were doing pretty good so far. Honesty and support no matter what. "But yeah he's okay, I think, I've got his back so that helps." The issues Ty had with coming out weren't really Jared's to talk about until they really started to affect him so he kept mum about that for now. "What about you? It's plain weird that you're still single, I gotta say."
“Having support definitely makes the difference. Rylee had my back when I came out in high school, it helped a lot.” Carson wasn’t one to pry, and he had to figure that Ty had developed his public persona for a reason. They hadn’t ever talked as much as he and Jared did, so he was glad to see he hadn’t been making rude assumptions or something, that Jared had thought the same thing about Ty Solomon. People were funny. It was good he had a boyfriend to come out with, though. Carson let out his own little laugh at the last part and shrugged a shoulder. “Had a man for a little while a couple months ago, but that didn’t work out. So I’m just ... I dunno, drifting along. Not really looking for anything. I’ve got a client who might turn into a Thing, I dunno. Doesn’t feel like the time.” He flashed Jared a lopsided grin. “Too bad Ty got to you first. You’re gonna attract twice the thirst now, hope you’re ready for it.”
Jared shook his head and grimaced a little. It could be awkward, when people were flirting with him and he had zero interest in them but he was getting used to it on the job. "I can handle some innocent flirting but some people get ugly about it," he admitted. "I'm not sure how that's supposed to be attractive, you know? Like one girl told me to, and I quote, drop that skank for her and I wasn't all that thrilled at having my wife talked about like that." He huffed with faint amusement.
Carson pulled a ‘wtf’ sort of face. “Uh yeah, that’s gonna be effective,” he scoffed, shaking his head. People were weird and they could get demanding of others in ways that never made sense to him. “Well, guys can get pretty shitty about it too, so ... consider yourself warned. Not that I think you’ll have a big problem, being so ... big.” Carson gestured at him and then chuckled a little. Jared was a good looking guy, and he’d always been really cool to Carson, so it stood to reason he would catch the attention of Point Pleasant’s gay-slash-bi male population once the word got around. He seemed pretty sweet on Ty though. Carson rolled his chair back and forth a little, then cocked an eyebrow at him. “Sure you don’t mind taking me out?”
"Oh you ready to go?" Jared shot back and grinned. "I don't mind, man. I'm off work and my boy isn't so I've got nothing better to do. Just let me know if you need help with anything." He wasn't about to start wheeling the man around unless he asked for it, that was another thing people did that puzzled him, treating others like they were objects they could move around at their whim just because they were conveniently placed in a chair on wheels.
“Dude, I’m so ready to climb the fucking walls,” Carson answered with a laugh. “Just give me a sec to put on a shoe.” He backed up and pivoted, then rolled himself down the hallway to his bedroom. As much as he hated being in a chair again, he was adept at using them, and the only thing he really needed help with was the ins and outs when it came to cars. He got his wallet and got a sock and sneaker on, then emerged into the living room again and headed for the door, side-nodding at Jared. “So you stopped by the gym? Has it fallen apart without me?”
"You kidding me?" Jared chuckled. "It's a shitshow without you." He had gotten up while Carson was away and was idly looking around the living room when he returned so he was pretty ready to go. "If you wanna go for a ride or hit a restaurant just let me know, like I said, I've got no plans today," he murmured as he followed Carson to the door. "And hey you get to see my fancy new car. Well, old new, it's second hand but it's in great shape."
“I knew it,” Carson said with a snicker of his own. “They were like ‘take all the time you need,’ and I was like ‘whatever, you need me.’” He was just talking now, as he pulled open the door and wheeled through it. “Nothing wrong with a used car. Were you just done with the old one, or did yours get fucked up with all that window nonsense?” He’d heard from so many people who’d had to get their glass replaced a week or so ago. Once Jared was through the door, Carson locked up and then let the big guy lead the way to where he’d parked.
"Both," Jared replied and waffled a bit before going on. "I think it had a lot to do with moving on after Sadie. I got myself a cheap crappy car and a cheap crappy house 'cause I kept thinkin' we might get back together." It had taken a while for him to figure that out but now it made so much sense. "My old car was way too small for me. I'm kinda proud of myself for not giving in sooner." He chuckled and shook his head, unlocking the car and opening the passenger door. "How'd you wanna do this?"
“Yeah, I can see that,” Carson said with understanding. It made sense to him, especially since he knew that the split had been hard on Jared. They hadn’t talked about it in-depth, but it was easy enough to see. Jared kind of wore his heart on his sleeve. Carson waved him out of the way of the door and pulled the chair up to it so he could lift himself out and transfer into the passenger seat. It wasn’t too hard, and the pain from his calf was brief. “Then you pull this and fold here and here, and it should fit in the back seat,” he said, pointing at the chair to show Jared how to do it.
Jared had been more than ready to help with the transfer but of course Carson could take care of himself. He didn't pump weights all day at the gym for nothing. "Yeah I think I got it," he muttered as he dealt with the chair and got it in the back and soon enough he had joined Carson inside the vehicle. "See? This is living," he said as he settled into the seat. "My head doesn't rub against the ceiling and I can stretch my legs. Makes you wonder why the hell I didn't get a better car sooner."
Carson wasn’t a short guy himself at six-foot-two, but Jared still had some height on him, and he had been driving a tiny car. “You actually don’t look like a giant in a clown car in this one,” he teased with a grin. He already felt better just being out of the apartment. Carson clicked his seatbelt into place and rolled the window on his side down to stick his elbow out. The sun felt good, almost like it was still summer. Carson wanted to soak it up while he could. He made some small talk about the car while Jared got them on their way, asking what kind of deal he got on it and what kind of engine it had. Then Carson gave a happy little groan after a pause and said, “I love you for this, man. And I can say that and it’s not weird. I have been wilting in there, this is perfect.”
Jared just laughed. He didn't mind in the least bit though it was funny how easy it was to throw around the Love word when it didn't really mean anything beyond appreciation and friendship. "Your love is appreciated," he said jovially and shot Carson a little grin. "And yeah you can say that." They were getting closer to the grocery store and Jared looked around as he signalled a turn. "You sure you don't want to go somewhere else first? You're not buying any frozen goods, are you?"
“Nah, just some snacks and some bathroom stuff. They’ll survive the car if we go anywhere else.” Now that he was out and about, Carson kind of wanted to go to a dozen other places, but he didn’t want to run Jared around too much. He didn’t want to take advantage by accident or anything. “Rylee keeps the fridge pretty stocked, but I swear she buys me the wrong deodorant every time, it’s crazy.” He shot Jared a smirky sideways glance. “You and Ty living together yet? Trading in your cheap crappy house too?” It was mostly a tease, but also Carson being nosy.
"We might as well be," Jared said with obvious amusement. They barely spent nights apart anymore but 'moving in' was too big and too scary so early on. "But nah, I'm looking for another place though, no rush just looking. I do enjoy my little yard down at Seaview and the heavy snow won't be a problem anymore." He tapped the steering wheel with appreciation as this car was going to be a lot better come winter. "You need to take a picture of your deodorant and send it to her when she's at the shop," he said then. "Use the technology at your disposal."
They would be living together before too long, Carson felt like he could smell it. That was good, it was nice for good people to fall in love and stuff. Jared deserved good shit, more than Carson did. Obviously. He laughed a little at the last part. “That’s the thing dude, I totally did and she still grabbed the wrong one. I dunno, maybe she’s trying to tell me something, like I need a different flavor.” He stopped himself from rambling on, not sure why his cousin would care what he smelled like if everything was normal, but ... it wasn’t. “You’ll find something you like, though, I’m sure. And it’s cool you didn’t like, immediately move away or anything. This town needs all the good people it can get.”
"She's trying to change you," Jared agreed and then nodded. "There's something about this place, it feels like home, I couldn't just leave." He guessed a big part of it had to do with that hope he'd had about Sadie coming back to him but even after he gave up that hope and moved on, Point Pleasant still felt like home. "I really like it here and the autumn colors make it all worth my while." It was always nice to hear people tell him he was good people. He knew he was, that wasn't a problem, but getting appreciated by others was nothing to scoff at. "Now if we could just make it that much safer it'd be paradise."
“Yeah, I had to come back too. After rehab, nowhere else was appealing.” Plus Rylee was here, and he had to stay close to Rylee. It was a thing he’d noticed about a lot of people though -- Point Pleasant had hooks in everyone, and if it didn’t draw you immediately back in after you wandered, it would eventually. So many people ended up coming back home, or getting drawn in and never leaving. It was useless to dwell on though. They’d reached the grocery store and parked, and spent a couple of minutes to get Carson out of the car and back into his chair. It was so stupid to be delighted with running a simple errand, but he was.
Grocery stores were terrible places to be if you didn't want to spend money and Jared hadn't planned on buying anything today but it was hard not to once he was actually in there. Halloween candy was already on display and he spotted a ridiculous Halloween/Valentines mashup that was tacky and cute and he had to get it for Ty. Plus it was caramel so he couldn't really go wrong with that. He'd leave it for him when he had to go to work earlier or something, little presents like that were his jam. He bought some other stuff he definitely didn't need and then got Carson's chair back in the car when he was good and ready. "Where to now? You wanna head on to a cafe? Pomeroy park? The beach?"
Jared was a pretty good shopping buddy, seemingly content to wander the aisles with Carson, and handy for grabbing things on high shelves. Which were currently medium-height shelves, given Carson’s predicament. He caught a few sideways looks at the two of them, but chalked it up to him looking like a hot mess and being in a wheelchair instead of his normal walking around. Nobody said anything though, thankfully. He got what he needed -- and some stuff he didn’t -- and then laughed a bit at Jared’s suggestions. It was sweet of him, it really was. “Beach is a no-go on wheels, but ... the park sounds so good right now, but I don’t wanna put you out or anything ...” Carson answered, a hopeful note still in his voice.
"You ain't putting me out," Jared told him firmly. "I wouldn't offer if I didn't feel like going. It's a nice day, who knows how many of those we have left before winter hits. Just let me know when you want to get back." He started the engine and because Carson had sounded hopeful he wasn't going to take no for an answer. The park was nice, there were probably dogs around and they could enjoy the nice weather while it was still light out. "So how's your cousin doing? She must have freaked out when you got your other leg hurt, huh?"
It had felt good to wheel around the store, and being out and about had Carson’s mind feeling less like a tangled anxiety nest, so going for a rolling stroll in the park was probably just what he needed. His heart gave a nervous leap when Jared brought up Rylee, but he supposed it was a natural question to ask. Jared knew they were close ... just not how close. “Yeah it was pretty scary. She’s okay ... I mean she’s worried about me and kinda stressed out that I’m not working right now ... She’s trying to hide it, but I can tell.” As soon as Carson got his new leg he was going to try to go back to the gym. He could coach without physically participating for a little while, he hoped, at least with some of his easier clients. “But the doctors are pretty sure it’ll heal just fine, so she’s not too freaked out.”
Jared shook his head as he thought about the creature again, whatever the hell it was. Wolf on steroids, rabid black bear? Nothing made sense. "That damn thing makes me wanna go on the prowl at night with a .338 Winchester Magnum," he grumbled. Too bad he was usually beat after work if he wasn't working. "I feel like someone should be putting up the money to bring in some hunters, you know?" It sure as shit wasn't going to be the police department, they were understaffed and underpaid if anything.
“I know, right?” Carson said, shaking his head a bit. “I mean, there’s got to be good hunters in this fuckin’ town.” He felt a little grumbly about it himself; he wasn’t the first person that thing had hurt. Somebody had even died, and it didn’t seem like anybody was doing anything. He didn’t put any blame for that on Jared, of course, but it still sucked. Carson nudged his glasses up and propped his cheek on his fist, elbow still firmly out the window. “And it’s so weird it just kinda ... you guys didn’t hear about anybody else getting hurt that night, did you?”
"Not that night, no," Jared said. "But obviously some people don't report it," he added and shot Carson a knowing look. "It's weird though, it disappears for weeks at a time, then comes back. Guess whatever hunter's tried to go after it has failed because there's no set pattern there. I mean, I've been huntin' and you usually find what you're looking for just by going by behavioral patterns but not in this case." It was frustrating and baffling and it might lead to another death.
Carson chuckled. “Touche,” he murmured. He hadn’t filed a report because he didn’t think it would do any good, but that just proved Jared’s point. The hospital could probably provide a more accurate picture. Carson didn’t think anybody attacked by that thing wouldn’t go to the hospital. He was quiet for a moment, then gave Jared a sidelong glance. “I dunno if it was like ... mutated or something, but ... it wasn’t a normal animal,” he said with quiet conviction. “Just not natural, you know?”
Jared hated that, especially coming from someone he knew and trusted. "Yeah you're not the first person to say that," he muttered. The coroner had been at a loss with Looms body, people talked about the beast being too big to be a dog but too slender to be a bear. So far Jared had kind of decided to settle on 'skinny as fuck bear' just for his ease of mind. "As soon as someone catches it we'll have our answers."
If it was a dismissal, it was an exceedingly diplomatic one, and while Carson felt a little put out that people didn’t seem to believe him, he couldn’t blame them, he guessed. Plus Jared was a cop, they were supposed to be analytical and rational and shit. “Fingers crossed,” he murmured. Carson knew he would’ve been making a bigger fuss if he’d been hurt any worse, but as it was he was just intensely grateful that his leg was going to be okay. And considering starting to carry a gun himself, at least at night. “How’d you do in all that fog bullshit?” he asked to change topics. “Don’t think I’ve seen you since then.”
"Jesus," Jared sighed at the thought of that particular mess. "Not good. Well, pretty good considering some other folks but it got ugly out there." It still made his chest squeeze with guilt and he knew Ty was still having nightmares about it but what could he do? Time would hopefully heal that one. "Toxins... I mean, I've heard things but it didn't really feel like any toxin." Why he thought he even knew what toxins 'felt' like he couldn't say but something just felt off about the whole thing. "How about you? Stay inside, I hope."
Carson had heard some awful shit, and he was glad that none of it had directly affected anybody he knew. At least as far as injuries went, who knew what kind of crazy shit Jared had seen. “Yeah, pretty much all day,” he answered. “Rylee too, thank god. Some guy at the gym the other day was talking about how it was probably some government test? Like how they gave soldiers LSD back in the seventies to see what would happen? Is it fucked up that that doesn’t even sound really crazy to me anymore? And like, that fog hung out for days before then, why did it kick in all at once?”
Jared couldn't say that similar thoughts hadn't kicked around in his head some and he shook his head again. "It made no sense. Pollution or toxins don't make people go crazy like that. I've never felt that kind of angry before, it felt artificial and not my own, you know? And if it was toxins or pollution then... Why stop as soon as you get inside?" That part had been the weirdest, probably. Like those feelings just hung around in the fog and didn't get inside their vehicles.
“Exactly, that’s fucked up. Especially if it was some ... accumulated effect thing. It doesn’t jive man, it’s a shitty story,” he concluded. Carson found the description interesting, ‘artificial and not my own.’ He’d often felt like the overwhelming anger that occasionally took him over wasn’t his own, but it had never felt artificial. It was too deep-seated and primal to be fabricated, it was just ... bigger than him. It kind of made him wonder how Jared had really felt though. “Glad neither of you guys got hurt though,” Carson added.
Jared winced a little and made a low sound in his throat meaning, yes, they did get a little hurt. "I kinda broke his nose," he mumbled and he wasn't entirely sure why he told Carson about that but maybe he needed to talk, maybe actually telling someone about it helped in some way. It wasn't like he had a whole lot of close friends in his life that he could vent to. Clearly he needed to fix that.
Carson’s brows lifted and he looked over at Jared. “Ty’s nose?” he asked, and when Jared nodded, looking pained, Carson let out a low whistle. “Damn, that’s a rough way to start a relationship, dude.” He hadn’t been seeing Ty in the gym a lot lately -- and now he knew why, he guessed -- so he hadn’t seen, but Carson hoped it hadn’t been a bad break. Ty was hot and always looking in mirrors, that would probably bother him. After a beat, Carson added, “Wasn’t your fault though, you know?”
"I know and he knows but it's still, you know, it sucks." He almost told him that hadn't been the worst of it but God, he couldn't bring himself to talk about the gun. Maybe he did need to talk to someone about it because every time he thought about it his guts did something that felt incredibly bad for his health. "It got ugly out there," he repeated, a little mantra to remind himself it could have been worse and it wasn't his fault. "Does make you wonder though. What kind of toxin stays out of cars."
There was something familiar-feeling in Jared’s face, and in the vibe around his words, and Carson didn’t give another thought to the toxins or whatever bullshit they were claiming it was. He could almost smell the shame, that special conflicted feeling when something took over the reins and made you do something horrible. Fog for Jared, PTSD for Carson ... he could relate. “Yeah it does still suck. I know the feeling, man. Ever since I got hurt overseas, sometimes I get these ... rage blackouts? Like some inner demon takes over, and I do and say really stupid shit that I don’t mean. It’s an awful feeling, losing control but still feeling responsible for it. Sometimes you’re the last one to forgive yourself. But that just means it really wasn’t you.”
He had a point and it felt good to hear it. Jared knew it would take him a long time to get over what had happened and Carson's words weren't going to magically fix that but they still helped. He gave him a little smile and nodded slowly. "You try and keep it in check and make up for it, I guess..." So this was why people talked about shit, it was cathartic. "You know I consider you a friend," he muttered. "So you don't hesitate to call me if you need someone, hear?"
Carson was nodding a bit. He tried to keep it in check with all the coping and de-escalation methods he’d learned in therapy and lots of patience. That incident with the fucked up reflection and Rylee still bothered him, but it had led to something incredible, so it was hard to sort his feelings out about it. It wasn’t something he was ready to confess to anybody though, so he wasn’t going to cite his most recent example of losing control to Jared. What he said made Carson smile a little, and he reached over to give him a chummy pat on the shoulder. “You too, dude, for real. I mean, I know cop-stress and soldier-stress are probably way different, but sometimes you just gotta talk to somebody.” He paused, chuckled, then added, “Somebody you’re not dating, even.” Romantic interest could get tangled and hard to work around when it came to shit like this.
Jared chuckled at that last bit and nodded. "Oh yes, someone you're not dating." It was easy to talk to Ty but he knew he held back on some things, playing it safe or trying not to hurt his feelings. Having someone to talk to where he didn't have to worry about that was definitely good. With Ty it was mostly the guilt. Jared felt guilty for what had happened but if he showed it too much he'd feel guilty for making Ty feel bad about it and it was pretty much a hellish circle that could be hard to break out of. He turned in to the park's parking lot and was lucky enough to get a good spot. "You like dogs? There's probably going to be a lot of dogs."
He was curious what sort of stuff Jared needed to talk about but didn’t tell Ty, but Carson knew better than to push. He just had to be there and be open, and it would come out, and that was okay. Some things had to be processed for a while before they could be put into words, he knew that as well as anyone. Carson flashed him a grin as they parked, feeling a bit puppy-like himself at the prospect of being out and rolling around in the sunshine. “Dude, I fuckin’ love dogs,” he said, undoing his seatbelt. One might not think so, considering what had just happened to him, but whatever bit Carson hadn’t been a dog, he knew that much. Unless it was some irradiated mutant monster dog. He doubted any of those would be running around Pomeroy. No, this was just going to be a nice walk-slash-wheel with his friend who had more in common with him than they’d thought.
It wasn't weird as such but it was a relief to hear Carson hadn't become scared of dogs after what had happened. Jared still realized belatedly that maybe a large dog at the park might set that particular phobia off, had he been around many dogs since the attack? It was better to deal with it right away though, like getting in a car after crash and... Picking up his gun again. He almost rolled his eyes at himself for that gentle reminder but it wasn't like he could skip wearing it at work so he'd gotten up on that horse pretty fast. Just not in his personal life. "Good," he chuckled before he got out of the car and walked around to get the chair out and ready. When Carson opened the passenger door he grinned at him. "Not sure we could be friends if you hated dogs.”
“Never trust anybody who hates dogs,” Carson agreed as he climbed out of Jared’s car and into the wheelchair. He settled himself without too much pain and rolled backward to get out of the way. The park had some good paved trails, and the fresh air was already wonderful. He waited for Jared to lock up the car and started pushing himself along beside him. Maybe it was because the trails were pretty wide, or because it was daylight and there were other people around, or that he had big company, but Carson didn’t feel nervous at all about anything at the moment. That was a good sign, he’d been having some bad dreams.
Jared hadn't been planning on going for a walk in the park but now that they were there he was glad they did it. It was a nice place and with all those trees it was easier to enjoy the full spectre of autumn colors. He stepped on one fallen leaf and it made a satisfying crunching noise under his boot, one of those little things that could bring a smile to a guy's face. "I'd get a dog if I didn't work so much," he said and drew in a deep breath through his nose. "Or if I could bring it on the job, you know? But dogs need your attention and time so..." It was a little sad, but he was used to not having pets. He mostly missed it when he went hunting and that wasn't that often.
“Yeah, with me and Rylee’s crazy hours, I dunno if we should get a dog,” Carson mused, keeping easy pace with Jared. He was practically talking to the other man’s belt buckle, height wise, but that was okay. “Plus y’know, it’s an apartment and all. Maybe if we had a house and a yard and all that.” Would it be weird for them to move into a house together? For some reason them being ‘roommates’ in an apartment seemed more plausible than a house, but Carson didn’t really know anymore. “Or y’know ... when I have one. You and Ty should move in together and get a dog and just be so adorable you make everyone puke.”
Jared had to laugh at that though he'd entertained that thought plenty himself. "I don't wanna make the whole town sick," he snickered and shook his head. "We'd need a dog sitter, he works too much too." Maybe one day if they stayed together they might adopt a kid and when that kid was old enough to take care of a dog... He pushed those thoughts away. They'd only been dating a month and it was crazy to think about it, though he supposed dreaming was a pretty normal thing to do. "Our shifts don't always line up but even then a dog would be spending way too much time alone."
“Obviously somebody needs to open up a doggy daycare for all these pets we’re too responsible to have,” Carson chuckled. Jared looked pretty happy every time Ty was brought up, so Carson figured that should reliably work as a diversion if he started tripping himself up talking about Rylee. Plus it was cute. As tangled and fucked up as his own life was, Carson liked seeing someone else enjoying his. They started to round a curve in the path and a smirk crossed his face. “Last time I got laid, it started here,” he commented as they passed the place where he and Brad had started kissing. “I love this park. How often do you bust people up here after dark getting it on?”
"Was that a confession?" Jared quipped. "Do I have to take you in?" He glanced at the spot Carson pointed to and wondered how far it had gone, not that it was any of his damn business. "I don't usually bother people too much about it, just remind them they're in a public space and need to be more discreet. You don't want to start getting calls from angry elderly people and parents." He didn't spend all that much time in the park though, not after dark. They drove by there but rarely went in.
Carson laughed. “It started here, just some kissing, then we went back to his place,” he assured him. Not that Jared probably really wanted to know, but he didn’t want his cop buddy to think he was some kind of criminal. “And it was super early, nobody around to scandalize, I promise.” It probably shouldn’t be a fond memory, considering how much it would probably upset Rylee, but Carson couldn’t deny it had been a good time at the time. He just had to leave it at that and try to re-find his bearings in other things.
Jared didn't really care, on the list of things people could do to break the law, making out with someone in a public place scored pretty low. In fact he could understand the appeal, he had definitely wanted to get handsy with Ty at that karaoke bar. "Then I won't arrest you," he murmured with a grin. "This time." He recognized some of the bird sounds around them but decided not to start dorking out about that unless he spotted something that was actually rare.
“Thanks man, I appreciate it,” Carson said with a laugh. “I’ll try not to do it again.” It would be a while before he was going for morning runs in the park anyway, much less ones where he ran into Brad face-first. It was the least of his crimes lately, but he didn’t even want to think about all that too much at the moment. It felt too good to be out and moving his body, in the fresh air with someone he liked, no need to ruin it with his own idiocy. Carson let the quiet settle for a bit. “So have you told your family yet? About Ty?” he asked, glancing up at Jared curiously. Carson hadn’t ever lived in the South, so he wasn’t sure if it was as homophobic as it seemed. “And just tell me to shut up if that’s too personal.”
"That's not too personal, don't worry," Jared said and while it would have been with Ty, he had no such qualms about it. His family was pretty easy these days. "I've only told my mom. My brother probably won't care and my dad died a long time ago. As far as aunts and uncles and cousins go I seriously don't care what they think as long as they don't hassle my mama about it. I mean, she can hold her own but... Yeah I don't think it'll be a problem." He glanced down at not for the first time found it a little bit uncomfortable how far away Carson was because he was seated. "How about your folks? They know?"
Carson nodded along with understanding. Extended family that you weren’t even close to didn’t need some big elaborate announcement, he’d always thought. It wasn’t their business, really. And Jared was a very-grown-ass man who could make his own life decisions. In his case, Rylee had been one of the first to know, but she’d always been more than a cousin to him. “Oh yeah, I’ve been out since I was a junior in high school,” Carson answered with a chuckle. “My mom got used to the idea faster than my dad did, but they’re both okay with it now. Almost dying and hanging out in a coma for a while tends to soften your family up to whatever makes you happy.” It was more complicated than that, of course, but it was all old news in his life, so Carson could be glib about it. “Did your mama take it well?”
"I'll keep that in mind," Jared replied with a smirk, a little dark humor he at least knew Carson would appreciate or he wouldn't have said it at all. If things went badly with his brother he could just have a near death experience. "But yeah, she's supportive. Worried and surprised of course but she just wants me to be happy. I think she was just real happy I didn't get back with Sadie." He had to chuckle at that even if he wouldn't have found it funny just a couple of months ago. He'd wanted Sadie back, he'd really believed she just needed time alone before she 'came to her senses' so his mom's lack of support for that relationship would have hurt him then. He understood it now though and he was happy again.
Self-deprecating gallows humor was one of Carson’s coping mechanisms. It was why he had ‘Don’t Laugh’ tattooed across his stomach, and ‘I’m with stupid’ on his left foot with an arrow pointing toward his right side. Making light of what had happened to him made it feel smaller, more manageable. Carson huffed a small laugh at the bit about Sadie and shook his head. “Moms get protective when you get your heart broken,” he said, thinking he liked the sound of Jared’s mama. “But good, long distance support helps too. You should be fine. I’ve never had much trouble with it in this town, personally. It was a Thing to some of the guys in my unit at first, but they got over it.”
"That's good to hear, I'll have to tell Ty that," Jared murmured. "He's more worried than I am but then, you know, he's had years to fret about it whereas I just... Kinda stumbled into it and haven't thought anything through." He huffed a little laugh. Yes, sometimes preparation was good but other times it was just as good to fling yourself into the middle of it all and find out firsthand how it was gonna go. "I think the likeliest suspects to hate us for it already hate us for being cops so it shouldn't make much difference."
“Probably so,” Carson agreed. Or they hated Ty for being black. Racism and homophobia went hand in hand a lot of the time, from what he’d seen. At least from dumb white people. “If it helps him, tell him I’ve got his back, you know? People are used to me being outspoken about shit, and nobody wants to argue with a disabled vet.” Carson chuckled. Ty might have more problems than he did with coming out, since he’d been playing straight for so long, but Carson thought it would all end up okay. “Yours too. Not that you need it, as a giant, but yeah.” He shot Jared a grin. “I’m kinda jealous you just accidentally stumbled into a super hot boyfriend though. Hope some of your magic rubs off on me.”
"Like this town ain't big enough for both of us, partner," Jared drawled with an exaggerated accent then laughed. "Sorry about that, didn't mean to cluelessly stomp into your haunting grounds and steal your potential catches." He had to wonder who else in town was gay. There were already more there than he would have expected, gay or bi. Ty, Carson, Fin, the sheriff's kid. It was kinda cool for a small town and it showed things were definitely getting easier.
Carson laughed, both at the accent and Jared’s words. He wasn’t genuinely bitter about it or anything, it wasn’t like he’d trudged through life in this town with zero interest in him. Ty and Jared obviously had something special if Ty was coming out because of their relationship, and that was pretty awesome. He’d probably never been on a list of potentials for Carson in the first place. “Nah, you’re fine,” he said with a grin. “You seem pretty stuck on this one, so. I’m happy for you guys, I really am.”
"Oh yeah, I'm real stuck on this one," Jared agreed with a sappy little smile that he was all too aware of and knew could get annoying to people if he didn't keep it in check. Like a love sick teenager even if he was a full grown man. "Thanks, man." His sappy smile turned a little more jolly as he looked ahead and right there were the dogs that were promised. "Man, I still want a dog," Jared sighed. "Everytime I actually see one." He glanced down at Carson subtly, checking for any signs of distress. Sometimes people didn't realize how shook up they were until they came face to face with a trigger.
There were two of them, being walked by a couple, one of them a setter-looking dog and the other bully breed of some kind. They were big enough, but the sight of them didn’t bother Carson in the slightest. Of course, neither of them was eight feet tall and on their hind legs either. In fact, seeing two real dogs in front of his face made Carson even more sure of what he’d seen -- something that wasn’t a dog. Or a wolf. “I’ve thought about getting one,” he said to Jared, sounding only a little preoccupied. Carson reached out a hand to let one of the straining dogs sniff at him as they all passed one another.
Jared relaxed a little bit when the dogs passed and Carson seemed calm and unaffected. He smiled when the dog gave Carson's hand a little lick and the couple smiled back and for a minute it felt like everything was going to be just dandy no matter what happened next. There were good people and there were good dogs in the world. "What kinda dog would you get?" he asked to keep the conversation going.
“I dunno,” he said musingly, tilting his head to one side. “I usually think about a husky or a pitbull or something. Some kind of big protective dog. But I kinda want to find a tripod dog to adopt from somewhere. What about you?” Carson glanced up at Jared while he rolled along beside him. Maybe he could get two dogs. A big one to guard the house, and something smaller ... like a corgi. “It’s gotta wait until we’re outta that apartment though,” he added as an afterthought. “Need a yard.”
"Hey, we're just dreaming right now," Jared chuckled and with reality out of the way, any kind of dog was really up for grabs, wasn't it? "I always thought a retriever or a border collie would be great, a mix even. Mutts don't get enough love but they're usually healthier than the purebreds. Some kind dog I could take out hiking, even hunting. They're great companions when you don't want to be alone but you've kinda had it with people." Not that Jared often 'had it with people'. He desperately needed social interaction at all times and had often wished he had someone who liked going on his hikes with him. Maybe Ty would go now.
“Mutts are seriously the best,” Carson agreed with a nod. He’d had dogs before, it had just been quite a while. He probably should’ve gotten one when he’d first gotten home, to keep him walking, but Carson had gotten the job at the gym for that and then he’d been traveling so much ... Which reminded him to check his calendar when he got home, he’d agreed to some talks in the not-too-distant future, and he really hoped his leg was healed by then. “You should do it, though. You seem like a man who needs a dog.” Some people just had that aura, and Jared did. Maybe it was just the accent though, like he belonged on a horse, too. “And like, a wide rambling ranch to wander around on in a dusty cowboy hat, but maybe that’s a stereotype.” He grinned.
Jared laughed at that because yes, it was a stereotype but not a particularly bad one as far as stereotypes went. "I'm good with a backyard," he chuckled. "And these days I've traded out my dusty cowboy hats for some warm caps." Not that he'd really worn a cowboy hat much, every now and then for special occasions, he had to admit. "If I can get a good dog sitter or like a fifty-fifty dog owning partner I might just get a dog. Definitely when I retire. Can't be an old retired cop without a good dog by your side." It was going to be a while before then and Carson wasn't wrong, he wanted a dog now. Or in the next few years.
It was a nice thought, being an old man with a dog. Going for walks and glaring at the young people for this and that. Carson hoped to be that guy one day. He didn’t know if he would end up with just a dog, or with kids and grandkids ... or Rylee, in some other town where nobody knew who they were. He needed to not let his mind go down that road though, or he would get stuck in the mud there. So Carson agreed that you totally couldn’t be an old retired cop without a dog, and then moved the subject elsewhere. Family, even dog-family, was too touchy a topic for him right now. But it was easy enough to find other things to chat about for the rest of their walk, and the tension in Carson’s head had eased considerably by the time they were headed back home. Maybe next time he needed to feel normal he would call Jared for a walk instead of impulsively fucking somebody.