Who: Gavin and Aaron When: Tuesday, Oct 3, later night Where: Gavin’s house Status: Complete Warnings: Language
The argument with Caden earlier in the day had had Aaron’s insides in knots for hours. It had almost come to blows, which wasn’t completely out of the question for them, but still pretty unusual these days. Caden and Gavin tended to fight more. But Aaron and Caden rarely butted heads over anything important, just stupid shit. This wasn’t stupid shit, it was real shit, probably the most real thing to happen to him because it involved somebody else. Two somebody elses, if you thought about it.
It all made him want to talk to Gavin really badly. He was a dad, he was the oldest, he was probably the smartest, and he’d always been more like a father figure to Aaron than a brother. Plus, he already knew that Mila was pregnant, and it was only a matter of time before Caden went and opened his big mouth to tell him who her baby daddy was. Aaron wanted to get ahead of that and break the news himself. Closer to the right way this time. He didn’t even know specifically what he was going to ask him, just that he needed guidance from someone smarter than him and more understanding than Caden.
The thing was, Gavin was apparently busy. Aaron had tried to call him once he’d left the bar and gotten sent to voicemail, so he’d driven over to the house. Gavin’s car wasn’t there and neither was Jasper’s. Fuck. He’d waited around for a while, thinking one of them would come back soon, but they didn’t. So Aaron had driven to one of the few other places in town to sit and have a beer. Or four. He texted his big brother -- u home? need 2 talk 2 u -- and waited anxiously for a reply. Aaron told himself that if he didn’t hear back by ten o’clock he would just go home.
Gavin did text back before ten but only because there were a lot of missed calls and texts from Aaron and that wasn't usual. On my way now he wrote in the car, tempted to call and ask but if he could avoid whatever disaster was going on with the bar or whatever else for just a few more minutes, he'd take it. He'd had a good actual date and he kind of wanted to enjoy that fact even if it was over too early. They both had work in the morning and really, he was going to need to take Charlie out on a weekend sometime. The thought was a little scary and a lot exhilarating so there was that. It had been nice not being available for a couple of hours for a change but now he had to go back to being the responsible one he supposed. He stuck his phone in its holder where he could see it as soon as he'd sent the text and started the engine to get his ass home.
Aaron was feeling so edgy, his phone going off on the bartop made him jump a little. He picked it up and looked, half expecting it to be Caden. Or Mila, mad at him for something. He wasn’t sure why he was worried about that, but he was. It was Gavin though, and Aaron let out a little relieved grunt. He drained the last of his current beer as he thumbed in a quick c u there. He supposed he could’ve just called and done this over the phone, but Aaron wanted to see him and his reaction, up close and in person. He paid his bill and left the bar, then headed out to his truck to drive back to Gavin’s place. He was further relieved to see that Gavin had beaten him there, and Aaron got out and walked up to the front door to tap on it in a quiet knock.
Gavin hadn't been home for more than a few minutes when he heard the knock and headed to the door to let Aaron in. His little brother looked anxious, his mood usually easy to read, and Gavin frowned softly as he ushered him inside and patted his shoulder. "What happened?" he asked and at this point he doubted it was something to do with the bar or there would have been angry texts from Caden by now. That didn't mean something hadn't happened at the bar. The dogs seemed to pick up on Aaron's nerves too as they came sniffing around, Max whining a little at him before licking his hand.
Aaron stepped in, petting the circling dogs absently, his brow still furrowed with fretting. The shoulder pat was appreciated, but Aaron had a feeling that affection wouldn’t last too long. He guessed he could’ve reassured Gavin that nothing was burning down and nobody was injured or whatever, it just hadn’t occurred to him. “Uh, it’s okay, everybody’s fine,” he murmured as he moved further into the house. He was kind of glad that Jasper didn’t seem to be home. Maybe he was working. “Come on, sit down with me.” Aaron headed for the couch to plop down.
"Hold on," Gavin muttered and made a beeline for the kitchen first to get them a couple of beers. He had a feeling he was going to need a cigarette through whatever this was and a beer always helped too. When he joined Aaron in the living room he handed him one of the beers before taking a seat in the armchair, something he rarely did but he wanted to look at his brother if they were having a serious talk. "What's going on, Aaron?" he muttered as he opened his beer and rested his elbows on his thighs to lean forward attentively.
Max jumped up on the couch with Aaron and flopped into his lap, half rolling over to beg for more attention. Aaron scratched at his belly and shoulders and chin, murmuring a thanks when he took the beer with his free hand. He took a swig of it -- even though he’d just had three at the other bar, didn’t matter, he wasn’t even buzzed -- and looked at his brother. Why did this suddenly feel like he was confessing to doing something wrong? He’d been kind of happy about it before Caden ruined that. But what if Gavin had the same sort of reaction? At least he wouldn’t be caught off guard this time. “Me and Mila have been seeing each other for a little while,” he said, to put that out there first. Aaron took a breath and kept petting the dog. “You know how she’s pregnant? It’s mine.”
As soon as Aaron started talking, Gavin had figured it out. His body did at least before his mind caught up, a sinking feeling in his stomach the first sure sign before Aaron actually uttered the words. "Oh fuck," he breathed as that feeling got heavier and he breathed it again a couple of times. "Fuck. Fuck." Things had been calming down so of course Aaron had knocked Mila up. Now that Jasper wasn't sleeping in his car, there was a small chance of an amicable divorce with Ollie without losing the bar, of course Aaron had to go get himself into the biggest fucking mess he could possibly get himself into. "What the fuck were you thinking?" Gavin groaned though he wasn't looking at Aaron, too busy rubbing his eyes in exasperation. All at once all the problems that came with having a baby washed over him, the expense, most of all, the sleepless nights, they'd need more staff for the bar, there was no way Aaron and Mila could afford this on their own and it had been bad enough to lose one waitress but now it was a family problem.
So much for any hope of a positive reaction from any of his family. Aaron was sure that Kat would laugh in his face and call him a dumbass when she heard, so that was all his siblings unhappy. And Mila’s family was going to be mad too, he was sure. They would hate him, like he’d been the only one doing it, like he’d forced something on her and made everyone miserable. Aaron took another sip from the bottle, forcing the beer past the lump in his throat, then set it aside. He wrapped both arms around Max and slouched over a bit to hug him like a teddy bear, feeling like a little kid getting into trouble. He didn’t have an answer to that question, and it sounded like one of the kind that people didn’t expect you to answer anyway, so he just kept his mouth shut.
They were both quiet for a while. Gavin stuck in his maelstrom of worries and ineffective solutions while Aaron waited for him to say something. When Gavin finally broke the silence it was another whispered 'fuck' before he drank half the contents of his bottle and reached for his pack of cigarettes. It had been such a nice night before this too, Gavin was truly beginning to think that this family - or at least he - was cursed. "How long have you known?" he muttered finally, purposely not looking at Aaron who looked like a beaten puppy.
It took a lot of effort on Aaron’s part not to cry while that silence stretched on. He wasn’t generally a crier, that had been teased and beaten out of him pretty early on, mostly by Caden. But it had been a super shitty, stressful day, and everything felt so hopeless now. Like he couldn’t even tell Gavin what he really thought about it, or how he was determined to do the right thing and be a man and take care of Mila and the baby -- like all that was some house of cards around him that would collapse under Gavin’s scrutiny. Caden didn’t have kids, Gavin did, so of course he knew more. “Since Thursday,” he answered a bit unsteadily. Max started squirming, so Aaron let him go and sat back, reaching for his beer again and clearing his throat.
Gavin regretted not asking Mila questions now, he'd just honestly thought it wasn't any of his business beyond employing her but he'd clearly been wrong. "Has she decided what she wants to do?" he asked because it was always Her Choice, wasn't it? He wasn't going to hold his breath and expect her to have an abortion. Mila was pretty religious as far as he knew, but maybe, maybe there was a little hope for Aaron if she decided in her heart she could get away with it.
“We wanna keep it,” Aaron said, emphasizing the ‘we’ part of that a little bit. He tried to rally himself, sitting up straighter and scooting forward a bit on the couch cushion. He couldn’t be a fucking baby about this, he was going to be a dad. He rubbed his hands together, forearms on his knees. “I like her a lot. She’s a good person, and she’ll be a good mom. Even if we don’t ... y’know, stay together, I’m gonna take responsibility and do the right thing.”
'You are being so fucking stupid' was kind of Caden's line but that didn't mean Gavin didn't want to say it at the moment. Problem was he'd been where Aaron was, only he'd been twelve years younger than Aaron was now and the whole situation had been even more of a mess. That didn't mean this situation wasn't a mess too though, it was a gigantic steaming pile of shit, if you asked Gavin. He finally looked at Aaron wearily and took a deep drag of his cigarette. He absolutely believed him when he said he wanted to take responsibility, that wasn't the problem, he just didn't believe for a second that he could. "So you're going to... Get a new place," he muttered. "Work more, but still have time to babyproof everything and be there for her?" He couldn't say much, he'd been an absolutely shit dad but he hadn't had any say in it.
Aaron frowned vaguely at the first part -- why were both his brothers so fixated on his house? He’d been living as a bachelor for a long time, of course it was a mess. They were acting like the baby was coming tomorrow. There was a whole nine months ahead of him to get ready. “If I need to get a new place, yeah,” he said, glad the urge to bawl was fading into a dull resentment. “Me and her will figure all that out, I guess. She’s only a few weeks along, we’ve got time. And if I need to start doin’ like, car jobs on the side, I will. I’ll run the whole goddamn bar all day every day if I have to to save up.” Aaron knew that was an impossibility, at least as far as the paperwork was concerned, but his point still stood. He wasn’t scared to work hard, he’d never been lazy. Just a little slow sometimes.
Gavin remembered the desperate 'we've got time' feeling when he'd been scrambling to save up to move out before telling his parents about Ollie. Then suddenly months had flown by and it was time and he hadn't felt prepared at all. Sure it was different, nobody was going to break Aaron's arm for knocking up a girl, but he seemed even less capable of dealing with things than Gavin had been at sixteen. "How much money you got at the end of month now?" he asked and it wasn't so much a question as it was a gentle nudge to show Aaron how fucked he was. Gavin was willing to bet he didn't have much money at all and a few car jobs on the side weren't going to change that much.
“I dunno ... a hundred bucks or so?” Aaron answered anyway, sounding a little incredulous. “But I spend plenty on stupid shit, and that’ll stop of course.” He blew some frustrated air out through his lips and let his head fall forward to roughly run his fingers through his short blond hair. They all really believed he was dumb as a box of rocks and completely incapable of anything, didn’t they? Even with a smart, sweet partner like Mila, they had no faith in him. It wasn’t surprising coming from Caden, but it stung bad when it was Gavin. “Look, it’s gonna be hard, I’m not that much of a fuckin’ moron, but I’ll figure it out, okay? People do it all the time. You fuckin’ figured it out, didn’t you? Both your kids are alive and healthy and fed and clothed. And I’m sorry, but Mila is like a million times better than Ollie.” He gave a little humorless laugh and shook his head.
Gavin didn't even know where to begin in telling him just how hard it had been. It had been easier with Amelia since he had more money coming in at that point but with Jasper he'd been on the cusp of giving up every damn day. He stared at his brother with his own incredulous look as he thought back on the shit his life had been eighteen years ago. "First year alone is going to cost you thousands of dollars," he said then. "You both work? You need to pay for daycare, only one of you works, that's less income. It's something you plan for and save up for for years before you actually do it." If you had a choice. "I never figured it out, Aaron. I just stumbled along and tried not to kill myself."
Aaron’s face pulled into a weird expression for a beat at that admission, like wasn’t quite sure how to take it. He wasn’t. He’d known those early years had been bad for his biggest brother, but he’d been still a kid himself and obviously not aware of how bad. He didn’t want to let the surge of empathy for Gavin derail him though, this was about him right now. Him and Mila and the life they’d created. “You did though,” he insisted. “You’re here, they’re here, you’re not bankrupt, you own a business that’s doing all right, you maintain two houses like --” Aaron cut himself off and made a vague gesture. “Look,” he said flatly then, looking straight at Gavin, his face turning stony again. “It’s not up to you. It’s not up to Caden. It’s up to me and Mila, and we made our decision. I’m not fifteen fucking years old. I can do this. And fuck you both for thinking I can’t.” He nudged Max off of him and stood up.
It was possibly the most miserable feeling Gavin had ever felt, realizing he understood how his father had felt when he broke his arm. He couldn't forgive or excuse it but the only reason Joseph hadn't been more involved than he was with his grandkids was because he was an asshole and they all hated him. Gavin guessed he could be that kind of asshole too, but he didn't want to be which meant he'd be there for Aaron and Mila, which meant this was going to blow up in his face as well. They'd need money, they'd need babysitting, they'd need support in various ways because they were in over their heads and Gavin felt tired just thinking about it. Given Mila's reaction to her pregnancy test he still held out a little hope that she'd change her mind. He might talk to her, offer her help. Aaron wouldn't need to know how she lost the baby, just that she had. "You do remember I only own a business and am free of debt because I got hurt on the job, right? That what you're planning to do?" he muttered, but didn't get up. Aaron could leave now and they'd talk again when he was hopefully calmer - or had less to be worked up about.
Gavin had a point, and Aaron had kind of forgotten about that part in the moment, which only irritated him more. Poor people raised kids all the goddamn time, right? People even poorer than them. There had to be ways around it. Mila would have ideas too, she was smart. He didn’t want to argue it anymore. He hadn’t gotten what he wanted out of either of these conversations, and all Aaron wanted now was to go to Mila’s place and feel better. He’d made some mistakes in the past that had bothered members of his family, but he didn’t think he’d ever felt this on the outs with all of them before. “Tell you what I’m not gonna do,” he snapped as he stalked toward the door, glaring at Gavin as he went. “Is force my girlfriend to get an abortion she doesn’t want. Or abandon her.” Aaron yanked the door open and stepped through it, feeling like punching something.
Gavin didn't move or speak save for telling Rude and Max to sit as the dogs had gotten up to follow Aaron in obvious confusion and concern. He could only hope Aaron would calm down a little and see things for what they really were. He didn't think Mila was happy about this so Aaron seemed even more delusional to him but what could he do? Caden was going to bitch about this forever and Gavin could only imagine how much the next weeks - and probably years - were going to suck for all of them. He finished his beer and braced himself for the door slamming he knew was coming.
Of course he didn’t do or say anything to stop Aaron, that wasn’t any kind of surprise. Caden never shut up, and Gavin never said enough, and Aaron just ... fucked everything up, apparently. He did slam the door, even though it felt childish for a brief second, it also felt pretty satisfying. Nobody truly cared if he was pissed, he knew that, but everybody else got to vent their feelings, why shouldn’t he? He yanked his keys out of his pocket as he stormed toward his truck in the driveway, so ready to be done with this bullshit day and the bullshit people he called family.