Who: Fin & Gavin What: An awkward conversation Where: Back of 'The Back Porch' When: Early evening, Wednesday, September 27 Status: Complete Warning: Language
Parking his car in the area behind Books and Beer Fin was going to go in to pick up the things he had left there earlier after spending the last few days pretty much living in the store, better him staying there and looking after things than risking his employees safety. There were times when Fin was grateful that his best friend was a police deputy, during his few days in hospital he had enquired if she could find out who had discovered him on the beach, it would be in the incident report after all - an interview, the mention of a name or something - and sure enough there was a name. And it wasn’t one that he was expecting.
Gavin Lucas.
Getting out of the car he walked down the street towards The Back Porch, he knew there’d be people inside at this hour and Fin knew that he was seen as ‘the competition’ by most of them so he bypassed the front door, better that than getting looks and comments from the family or those inside drinking, so instead he walked down the small alley to the service entrance, hopefully Gavin was working this evening and he would want to talk, no matter how brief. Taking a deep breath in he pressed the buzzer that he knew was usually reserved for the beer delivery, it would alert someone inside.
The delivery guy had already come and gone a little while ago and Gavin wasn't expecting any other kind of delivery today so the buzz caught him unaware. He was going over the books when he heard it and that feeling of unease washed over him again, though it was nowhere near as strong as it had been during the fog.
He was cautious when he opened the door but that caution quickly made way for surprise when he saw who it was. Fin Haynes. So they'd patched him up and let him go, Gavin supposed they couldn't lock him up forever, suicidal cases usually got kept only a couple of days - as if that would deter them in the future.
"Hey," he said curiously, furrowing his brows as he looked the other man over. "You here to yell at me?" It was an honest enough question, hardly any humor behind it. Not a lot of people would be happy to have their lives saved when they'd been explicitly trying to end it.
Fin had resisted the urge to run after pressing the buzzer, he still hadn't admitted the truth to himself but that could take days, weeks or months, he guessed this could be classed as a small step in his recovery. Gavin had saved his life after all.
When asked if he was there to yell at Gavin, Fin shook his head. “No… To thank you… I think.” He looked down at his hands before lifting his gaze and looking at the other man. “They said you gave me CPR and stayed with me til the EMTs arrived. You didn't have to but… ah… I… I'm glad that you did.” His voice was softer than he wanted it to be but hopefully Gavin got the idea. “I was drunk… and stupid and I don't know… alcohol has never agreed with me. “ Which was something strange to hear coming from someone who owned a bar.
Gavin wasn't sure he wouldn't have preferred being yelled at, he was more used to that and it was easy to ignore. This? Was awkward. For both of them. He gnawed on his bottom lip as he listened to Fin talk and did an internal eye-roll at himself as his first instinct was to offer the guy a drink even if he'd just said he couldn't handle it. "You might be in the wrong business then," he muttered, unsure what else to say. He was pretty sure it was very much illegal to not help someone in need but legalities hadn't exactly stopped him from doing things so far. "You're not uh... thinking about doing that again, are you?" he asked then, folding his arms and clearing his throat, immediately wondering why he even asked. Fin probably had people to talk to, shrinks or something. There was also the priest but who knew if he was comfortable talking to someone they'd gone to school with. Gavin still had weird feelings about all that himself.
It was indeed awkward, more awkward than Fin realized it would be, which was why he couldn't really look Gavin in the eyes. The comment about being in the wrong business got a bit of a smile, just the corners of his lips curled. “I try to focus more on the books, if someone wants to get drunk I just send them down here.” Which was the truth, he tried to keep Books and Beer more of a social place to relax with a wine or beer while reading, not somewhere to drink your troubles away.
He wasn't expecting that question, especially from Gavin, it was a valid question and no doubt he'd be getting asked it a lot in the future so he answered as truthfully as he could. “No. No more plans for drunken swims at three am. I think there'd be a lineup of people wanting to kill me if I even thought about it.” Fin was trying to see the humor in it though it wasn't a laughing matter and he knew it.
Fin still hadn’t seen a shrink, he wasn’t really game to see one in town but didn’t really know where to start with that. He had talked to James when the priest visited him in the hospital, he was glad that the other man was there more as a friend and not as a priest. Fin would agree with Gavin that it would feel really quite strange telling all the deep, dark things to someone from school no matter their profession or how many years had passed since they had finished, things like that seemed to stick around in one’s head.
Gavin figured since he was out there anyway he might as well have a cigarette and while he wasn't exactly eager to have this conversation it did give him a reason to take a break. He fished his pack out of his shirt pocket, got one out and lit it before offering one to Fin. "We send the bookish boring ones to you," he muttered unsure what else to say. He wasn't about to have a heart to heart with Fin Haynes but Jesus, if the guy needed to talk he wasn't going to turn his back on him or anything. He just really wasn't the guy to preach about how suicide was a sin and all that shit, truth was he'd considered it more than once himself but he had a feeling everything would fucking explode in his absence and then who the hell would take care of Amelia and make sure she was financially secure in the future? Nobody, that was who. The family would practically implode as Ollie and his brothers did not see eye to eye and she was the least reliable person he'd ever known. Of course he'd eat a bullet and not go for a swim but he wasn't about to recommend that either.
Fin shook has head at the offered pack, the closest he got to cigarettes was a joint or two but that only happened once, maybe twice a year and only when things got really stressful. If only he had gotten stoned instead of drunk he wouldn't be where he was at the present time, like having this rather awkward conversion. “Keep sending me them to me and I'll keep sending the others down here.”
He had plenty of time to think over the past few days and some of those were about what would have happened if he had succeeded - if he had actually drowned. Who would look after the business and things like that, his grandparents would have to come out of retirement and take it back over, something that was unfair on them. But early Friday morning he wasn't thinking about any of that, he was only thinking of his own heartache and how to get rid of it, which of course didn't work. “Business going okay?” Fin asked, not that it was any of his business but more just a bit of small talk. “That fucking fog didn't help things, there's some weird shit going on in this town lately… more than usual. Just as long as we don't see the four horsemen riding down the street.” It honestly wouldn't surprise him if Armageddon started in Point Pleasant.
"Nah, we had to shut down on Sunday," Gavin muttered, looking past Fin into the dark alley like he half expected the damn fog to come wafting in again. "Like everyone, I guess. People went a little crazy yesterday, more fights than usual. Even my dogs were acting weird." He finally looked at Fin again as if remembering he wasn't just rambling to himself and actually had someone there to talk to. "You up and working already?"
“I got out of hospital on Monday and went straight to the store, stayed there til the fog cleared this morning. Better me doing that than my employees risking the roads, plus what else was I going to do? Sit in my apartment alone and twiddle my thumbs?” Fin let out a bit of a snort, him sitting at home alone wouldn’t have helped matters at all, at least in the store there were things to do. “I think I had grand total of two customers until I opened the doors today. On the bright side I did get caught up on the paperwork and did some orders.” Surely Fin wasn’t the only one who hated balancing the books and doing taxes and the like. He also didn’t really care that Gavin wasn’t looking at him when talking, he knew enough of the Lucas clan to know that they weren’t big talkers at the best of times and preferred settling things with their fists instead of words. “Is it too much to ask for a week of normal weather? A bit of sunshine would be nice.” But knowing what the town was like it wouldn’t be unusual for some flash flood or sudden dump or snow to suddenly occur, he was already wondering what winter would be like even though it was months away.
Sitting at home, twiddling his thumbs was pretty much what Gavin had been doing on Sunday - if twiddling his thumbs was code for 'freaking the fuck out all day'. He was glad Jasper had come over and once they'd gone and gotten his daughter too he'd felt a little bit calmer.
"Sunshine would be nice," he agreed though he sounded a bit dejected about it, like he didn't really expect anything good to happen anytime soon. "I had plans for my little girl on Sunday, she's getting cranky." He smiled faintly and took a deep drag of his cigarette. He wasn't even sure why he was telling Fin about that, maybe opening up to the guy just felt right what with him trying to kill himself and all. Gavin could be nice, he had no reason to be an asshole to Fin so far at least.
Getting stuck inside due to the weather was never easy for adults, he didn’t know how a kid would’ve coped with three days of it - technology only provided a distraction for so long. “Can’t blame her, I think the past few days made everyone cranky.” Then again three and a half days in hospital had made Fin cranky and bored, and that was nothing to do with the weather. He was grateful to be out and that the fog had cleared, but he knew that things wouldn’t be getting easier for him, as he had and Sadie had talked about only a few hours earlier - no fog meant searches for Danny and he was still in two minds about that. Fin really did appreciate the conversation even though it was still feeling quite awkward, he couldn’t remember the last time he had spoken more than a dozen words to Gavin, most of the time it was a small nod of acknowledgement if they saw each other in the street or a ‘hey’,
Cranky was an understatement but Gavin didn't think it was cabin fever that made everyone so damn crazy the day before. He didn't know what it was but to him it was that ever present evil that he was all too aware of lingering around town. "We tried to keep her busy but yeah, she's probably happy to be back at school," he muttered. He knew for sure that he felt better about it when she was at school or staying with her friends, what little he knew of those families they were good people and Amelia liked being with them and anyone was more reliable than Ollie.
There was definitely something evil in the air on Tuesday, so much so that Fin had kept a baseball bat beside him at all times, just in case. He had heard arguments and fights going on out in the fog but wasn’t about to go out and get involved in anything, instead his hand often drifted to the bat if the sounds got too close. “And for a kid to be happy to be back at school is a rare thing.” Or at least it was when they had both gone to school, any day off was a bonus and usually enjoyed - even the odd snow day. Things had changed so much over the years and it was kind of scary what even toddlers were doing now - wanting some electronic gadget to keep them entertained instead of going outside and playing, Fin was glad he didn’t have kids and wasn’t really interested in having them either, having a pet was bad enough at times. Speaking of which, he looked at his watch and noticed the time. “I better let you get back to work and I should get back to the store to collect my things.” He said, looking back up at Gavin. “Thank you. Again.”
Gavin dropped his cigarette and stubbed it out with his boot. He felt weirdly good that Fin had shown up so maybe that incident on the beach had weighed heavier on him than he realized. Fin was okay, Gavin had legitimately saved his life and he wasn't pissed about it. It was... a good feeling. "Don't go back in the water," he said with a small smile. "I don't always take the dogs out that early." He wasn't even sure why he had and that small part of him that clung so desperately to his faith hoped maybe God had something to do with it. The larger part that felt jaded and skeptical protested that God had better people to use as conduits than a miserable jerk like him but either way, he was the one who'd gotten Fin breathing so maybe it didn't matter what God thought.
Fin was grateful that Gavin had been out walking the dogs that morning and had saved him, God or no God. “Oh don't worry, I won't be going anywhere near the ocean anytime soon!" Dominick's warning from Monday still in his mind, he wasn't about to go testing the ‘boy in the water’ again, plus the surf was much better further south, out of town limits and well away from any cursed waters. “Look after yourself and those kids of yours. You're a good man Gavin, don't let anyone make you believe otherwise.” With a final small smile Fin turned away and heading back down the alley.
Gavin watched him leave, a puzzled expression etching its way onto his face. He did not hear that often - or at all - and he was almost amused at just how wrong Fin was about him, but he supposed he'd been a good man to him that one time so he'd take it. "Night, Fin," he muttered and stepped back inside, still a little baffled by the compliment.