Jasper Lucas (sinsoftheson) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2018-01-02 22:01:00 |
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Entry tags: | #september 2017, gavin, gavin x jasper, jasper |
Who: Jasper and Gavin (and the Black Eyed Kids)
When: Sunday, Sept 24, early early AM, then midday
Where: in Jasper’s car, then Gavin’s house
Warnings: spookeh
Status: Complete
Taking Mason home from The Lobster Shack had been a slow and nerve wracking experience. It was so hard to drive in fog that thick, especially without any street lights to give him an idea of where the road was. Jasper’s headlights had only done so much, and having two of his windows missing did not help matters. The plastic was keeping the moisture out, but that was about it. It was extra cold in the car, and he could tell it was going to be a miserable damn night, no matter where he landed.
Driving and not running off the fucking road when he could only see a few feet in front of the car had been an ordeal, and Jasper wasn’t comfortable enough with Mason to ask if he could crash at his place. So he just let the guy out and pulled out of his driveway. He wasn’t too far from his dad’s place, he was pretty sure, but Jasper wasn’t positive he could get there without running into something. So he just drove a little way down the street in Mason’s neighborhood and parked the car.
As he leaned his seat back and bundled further into his coat, Jasper told himself he would just sleep until dawn. Then the sun would come up and burn off the fog and it would be okay. And if the cops came by to hassle him until then or something ... they could lead him to his dad’s. Cop cars had better headlights, didn’t they? Surely they were prepared for shit like this. Jasper kind of hoped that happened, actually, he could admit that to himself. The car wasn’t holding heat well, and the lack of two windows left him feeling a little more exposed than usual. But fuck, he was tired, and eventually the quiet and the exhaustion from working a long night won out and he fell asleep.
Jasper wasn’t sure at first what woke him up, but it felt like he came awake all at once, his heart pounding in his chest. His body felt stiff and cold and he was disoriented with no light coming in through the car windows. Where was he? What time was it? Where was the comforting orange glow of sodium lights that his brain so closely related to sleeping in his car? While Jasper’s sleepy mind fumbled for answers, a knock sounded on the driver’s side window right next to his head.
He let out a short bark of a cry and jerked away from the window. The noise hadn’t been loud, it was rather soft and polite-sounding, in fact, and he realized that it was the second knock -- the first had been what pulled him out of consciousness in the first place. Jasper half expected a flashlight to come shining in now, to illuminate his face for the police officer that was surely out there. That light didn’t come. He could make out a shadow against the lighter dark behind it, of someone standing at his window and peering in at him. Someone ... short.
For a moment, Jasper could only stare at that shadow, his eyes working hard to pick out any details. It seemed to just stare back at him, even though Jasper couldn’t see its eyes and he felt the flesh between his shoulder blades prickle. He had the vague brainstem notion that he should stay still and hold his breath, and maybe it would go away. As soon as that thought crossed his mind, plastic crinkled behind his head. Jasper gave another little start and looked back to see something pressing against the plastic he’d taped over his missing backseat window. Something hand-shaped, but small. The tape held.
He fumbled for the keys he’d left in the ignition, suddenly desperate to have heat and light and noise of some kind. For a split second he was afraid it wouldn’t turn over, but it did. The dashboard lights came on as he twisted the knob, bathing his face in their dull green glow. It also slightly illuminated the shape outside of his window. Jasper’s heart clenched hard for a second until the shapes made sense as a face. A kid’s face.
“Hey mister,” the face said. The voice was high and soft even through the glass. He somehow heard it perfectly over the rumble of the Malibu engine. “Can you give us a ride?”
What the fuck was a kid doing out there? Jasper squinted at her, belatedly realizing that everything looked so fucking spooky because all the lights were still out and it was still foggy as shit. “What?” he said, his voice rusty, the words she’d said barely registering through his groggy haze. “Uh ...” Jasper reached for the window crank and rolled it down a little. When he looked up again, a second face had joined the first. It looked like a boy this time but he couldn’t be sure.
“Can we come in? We need a ride,” the girl repeated. She looked to be about Amelia’s age, which made Jasper inclined to help her. To open the door, to let them in, give them a ride somewhere ...
“Where are your parents?” he asked, one hand automatically reaching for the door handle while the other reached for his phone. Jasper didn’t know what time it was, but it was obviously too late for a couple of kids to be out by themselves.
“We need a ride,” the little girl repeated. “Let us in.” The hand pushed against the plastic over the backseat window again.
Jasper’s hand landed on the door handle, though he was hardly aware of it. He looked away from the window to thumb in the code to unlock his phone, and saw that it was past three in the morning. Fuck. He turned the screen to show the girl what time it was and ask her again where their parents were, but as he looked through the glass again, he froze. The extra light from his phone screen showed the round, pale face of a young girl, her hair hanging dark and limp around it. He barely saw all that though.
What really caught his attention was her eyes. They were black, all black, like two empty sockets staring at him. The shine from his phone didn’t even reflect on them, they just swallowed the light. An icy cold fear like nothing Jasper had ever known rolled through him, like someone had dumped freezing water down his back. He couldn’t even look straight at the other face peering in on him, but Jasper could see it was the same in his peripheral vision. Pale cherubic face, empty eyes. Those stares seemed to bore right through him, right down into him, and Jasper’s heart pounded sick and hard in his chest as he felt his hand tighten around the door handle.
“Let us in,” the girl repeated, and he heard it even more loud and clear, like it wasn’t traveling through glass and over engine noise at all. It was right in his head. Did her lips even move? Jasper couldn’t say. The girl lifted her little hand and started knocking on the window again, a slow and steady endless beat. “Let us in. Let us in. Let us in.”
Pure animal terror surged through him, and Jasper pulled his hand off of the door handle like it was burning him. He wasn’t thinking anymore, his instinct just knew that he had to get away, that what was on the other side of his car door wasn’t right, and he needed to not be right there. His eyes showing white all around as he stared at the girl, his hands flew into action to throw the car into reverse. She was still knocking in that deliberate calm way, but she was repeating her chant louder and louder and more shrill. By the time Jasper’s foot hit the gas, she was screaming </i>“let us in”</i> at the top of her lungs, even though her face seemed to barely be moving. The other one, the boy, stayed silent and watchful.
The car jerked as Jasper’s desperate backward flight ran him into a mailbox. He was panting, adrenaline flooding his system and telling him to get away, just get away. He whipped the car around and punched it, peeling off from his parking spot. He glanced back only once, but couldn’t see anything in the foggy dark.
Later, Jasper would have no idea how he actually made it to his dad’s. The fog was still thick, everything was dark, and he was driving too fast. It was probably some miracle that he didn’t end up in a ditch or wrapped around a light pole, but eventually he was passing a familiar mailbox and Jasper jammed on the brakes. He threw the car into park and got the car door open somehow in his near-panicked state. Jasper lurched out, slammed the door behind him, and bolted across the yard and up Gavin’s porch steps, expecting something to grab him every step of the way. Something small and childlike with black holes for eyes.
He nearly screamed when he dropped his keys out of shaking fingers. Jasper snatched them back up and jammed the right one home finally. He let himself inside, his heart still thudding hard enough in his chest to make him feel dizzy. He was running on pure instinct still, and instinct told him he needed his father. For a terrifying moment, Jasper was half sure that Gavin wouldn’t be home, or he would be dead in his bed, and it had him rushing down the small hallway to his dad’s bedroom. Jasper pushed the door open and headed straight for Gavin’s bed, crawling onto it. “Dad. Dad. Dad,” he was repeating in a harsh, dry whisper, only halfway aware he was doing it.
Gavin woke up easily, he was always a light sleeper and tonight especially he was on edge because of the fog. He could hear Jasper's car which under any other circumstances wouldn't really have surprised him but tonight his kid probably shouldn't be driving at all. He listened as the engine went off and the doors opened, half wondering if Jasper was drunk when he heard the rushed footsteps to his door. He'd barely had time to sit up when Jasper was there, sounding panicked and on his bed.
"Hey," he murmured in what he hoped was a soothing voice but it mostly sounded confused. Something had happened, something bad had happened and that shouldn't surprise him living in this town but his body was still wound up tight as he fumbled for the flashlight on the bedside table.
Gavin was there, moving and alive and warm, and the dogs were there too, just as alive and confused and nosing at Jasper as he invaded all of their space. Relief so strong it was almost painful flooded through Jasper and before he could do anything to stop it he was crying. His breath hitched hard as he got closer to his father, and Jasper practically crawled onto his lap, getting as close as he could as he started to sob. He wrapped his arms around Gavin’s ribs, face buried in his chest. He was home now, he was safe, his dad would protect him, all those were things he was sure of on a deep level, but the terror was still there. Jasper’s brain was positive that he’d just narrowly escaped a horrific, agonizing death, and it had no idea how to deal except to purge all that excess energy through his face.
Gavin couldn't remember the last time he'd actually held Jasper and somewhere deep underneath the worry and confusion he felt a strange sense of appreciation as he wrapped his arms around him and rubbed at his back. "You're safe," he told him quietly even as he eyed the bedroom door suspiciously to make sure he wasn't making that up. The dogs weren't worked up though so that was something but he knew what Jasper was feeling all too well; fear was easy to recognize when you felt it all the damn time. If something came in after him... Well, Gavin had the dogs and a gun by the bed so that was a start. He had a bad feeling that whatever had spooked his kid wasn't something easily shot at though because Jasper was terrified and he didn't really spook easy. He'd always been brave, sometimes foolishly so and Gavin wished he would tell him what was going on. By the sound of it he'd have to wait though, Jasper didn't sound like he was going to get a word out any time soon.
He was safe, his daddy said so. There was part of Jasper that was still young, still stuck in childhood where his father was the most powerful man in the world. Gavin hadn’t been a very loving father, but he’d always been a fierce one, and if he said Jasper was safe now, he was inclined to believe it. That didn’t help him to stop crying very fast, he kept doing that until his core muscles hurt and his eyes felt swollen in their sockets and he’d all but soaked the front of Gavin’s t-shirt. The dogs shuffled in a little closer to him and Jasper realized in a dim way that he was still wearing his shoes, getting filth all over his dad’s sheets. It didn’t seem to matter. Nothing did but the strong arms around him and the steady thump of another heartbeat at his ear.
He eventually quieted down, but he still clung to Gavin, too exhausted to be embarrassed yet. Jasper’s mind couldn’t let go of what he’d seen, showing him those hollow black eyes over and over again, only able to conjure up the ghost of that animal fear. That was more than enough. He knew he would have to explain himself, try and tell Gavin what he’d seen and why he’d been so fucking terrified of a couple of kids out in the dead of night, but he didn’t have the words yet. He didn’t want to move, just wanted to sleep right there against his father’s chest until the sun came back and the world made sense again.
Gavin was shit at a lot of things but this he could do, be strong for a while and let Jasper cry. It was unsettling to see him like this when Jasper was always so damn proud and brave but it didn't really surprise Gavin that something had finally caught up with him and given him a fright. He wondered what it had been, if Jasper had been sleeping in his car again or if he'd just been driving home from a party. It didn't matter, not really. There wasn't anything Gavin could do about the evil of Point Pleasant, but he could do this. When Jasper got the fear out of his system and got inevitably angry Gavin could handle that too. The dogs were quiet, watching them intently and it was Rude who moved closer first to lick Jasper's hand.
Though he barely knew consciously what to be grateful for, Jasper was glad that Gavin was keeping quiet, just letting him do what he needed to do without a bunch of questions. He realized that he was probably being pretty scary himself, acting like there was something to panic over, like maybe he’d run someone down with his car or some shit. Though Jasper was pretty sure he would’ve reacted completely differently to that. But Gavin was just patiently waiting, and that was exactly what Jasper needed. His whole body ached and it felt like his head was ready to split open, but he did feel a tiny bit better as his tears finally quit. He took a few deeper, slower breaths and tried to get a handle on some words. “I saw something,” he finally murmured, his voice still thick with emotion. “That shouldn’t ... they shouldn’t have been out there.”
Gavin didn't really know why he'd never told Jasper about the things out there. At first he'd been too young and Ollie hadn't wanted their kids to grow up afraid. Then he'd grown up so fast and he'd always seemed so invincible, cocky like his uncle and fearless unlike his dad. Gavin had never seen him this afraid, not ever, not even as a little kid. He'd gotten angry at scary things, not small and afraid like Gavin. Tonight Gavin regretted not telling him, but like with most things he wanted to tell Jasper he didn't think he'd believe him or want to listen. "There's a lot of bad things out there," he said quietly, that familiar feeling of guilt settling in to replace his sleepy confusion. "Are you hurt? Want to tell me which one you saw?" He hadn't let go of Jasper yet, because Jasper hadn't let go of him and he wasn't going to rush him.
Jasper realized he’d expected nonbelief. Maybe because he hardly believed it himself. He’d been expecting his dad to shrug it off, mumble something about Jasper being overtired or some shit, and to tell him it basically hadn’t happened. But Gavin didn’t do that. Instead he confirmed that there were ‘bad things out there’ and asked him which one he’d seen. Jesus fuck. Jasper’s brow furrowed for a moment as the implications of that tried to pull his thoughts in another direction, but he did his best to focus. One thing at a time, his tired mind couldn’t take more than that. “Uh ... It was um, a couple of kids. At my car window. A girl and a boy, maybe a little younger than Amelia ... they were knocking. One was, I mean. Knocking. She kept saying they needed a ride, let them in ... but then like ...” He paused for a moment to lick his dry lips, feeling kind of sick to his stomach. “In the light, their eyes were ... black. Like alien-black, but not like, shiny. Like just ... emptiness, and ... and it felt like ...” Jasper couldn’t say what it felt like. “And it’s fucking cold out and I think she had short sleeves on and it was just ... just ... I dunno, it was all ... wrong.”
That wasn't anything Gavin was familiar with but that didn't mean much. There were plenty of things he'd only heard of but still believed because he knew what this world was capable of throwing at him. "You didn't let them in," he said and rubbed at Jasper's back a bit more firmly. "That's good. You did good." He'd pretty much confirmed he'd been sleeping in the car and that part wasn't good at all but Gavin wasn't going to rub it in, that was the last thing Jasper needed right now. "They can't hurt you in here," he added even if he couldn't be sure because that was what Jasper needed to hear and if those creatures had asked to be let in then maybe they couldn't enter without a welcome. Gavin had a lot of protective things around the house too though he didn't know if even half of them actually worked.
The thought that he’d had his hand on the door handle, ready to push it open and let them into his car was a chilling one. He’d been doing it without thought, confused from sleep and lulled into a feeling of safety because they were just kids. But they hadn’t been just kids, had they? Inexplicably, they had been something else. Something that had set off his fight or flight response. Jasper thought about what Jules had told him she’d seen in the mirror. About all the ghost stories he’d heard growing up in Point Pleasant. He’d always suspected they were bullshit, because he’d never seen anything himself. Now ... was everything true? A lot of bad things, his dad had said. Which one, he’d asked. “Jesus Christ,” Jasper murmured in a small voice. Was it all true? All of it? It made him feel dizzy.
While Gavin wasn't a huge fan of taking the Lord's name in vain and whatnot he wasn't about to bother Jasper about that either. It was a lot to take in and he remembered how absolutely terrifying his own experience had been back when he'd actually met something during his waking hours. Jasper had come here - to him - in his fear and that made Gavin feel good-weird, like maybe his kid didn't hate him completely; maybe he was good for something. Jasper could have gone to Caden or Aaron but he came here. It left Gavin wondering what he would have needed back when he came home, terrified and shaken with only Ollie and baby Jasper at the house. He hadn't felt safe there, more like he was putting them at risk by coming home, but God if his dad had been even a little protective... Gavin could be what Joseph hadn't been, at least this once, and it gave him a sense of purpose.
"You're staying here tonight," he said quietly, placing his hand on Jasper's head and giving it a little rub with his thumb, like when he was a kid. "You think you can sleep?"
Right then, Jasper wanted to stay there for the rest of his life, huddled in bed against his old man, surrounded by dogs. It didn’t matter that Jasper had outgrown Gavin height wise, it didn’t matter that one of his arms wasn’t good for much, it didn’t matter that he annoyed Jasper to no end sometimes. All that mattered was he was Daddy, and Daddy was going to protect him. Not only that, he was apparently going to believe him, understand him, and that was maybe even more reassuring. Jasper closed his eyes as Gavin’s hand settled on his head, the old gesture putting a fresh lump in his throat.
“Yeah,” he croaked, his grip on Gavin tightening a little, like he didn’t even want to put enough space between them to get comfortable. Jasper shifted his legs and opened his eyes again. “M’gettin’ mud and shit all over ...” For some reason, that made the lump melt into a few more stupid tears. He was such a mess, and he hated it, and he felt small and still scared and like he didn’t want to deal with any of this.
"The dogs have done worse," Gavin said dismissively because he didn't give a shit if Jasper dragged mud into every room in the house as long as he came home safe. It was a sobering thought considering their strained relationship, sobering and reassuring, like maybe he wasn't the Worst parent in the history of forever. The way Jasper was clinging to him told him not to even suggest moving out of the room. Normally Jasper would take the couch, given the circumstances Gavin might have offered to do that instead and let Jasper have the bed but with the way he clung to him Gavin didn't think either of them was going anywhere. Jasper might hate him again in the morning when the terror had faded into discomfort and numb fear but right now he needed him.
"C'mon, get those boots off and get under the covers," Gavin muttered. "You're cold." He'd tell him about the protective stuff, he decided. All those weird little bags the kids probably just thought was because of their mother's terrible sense of decor, Gavin's more obscure tattoos, all the runes and crosses. "I've got some water if you want some, it's warm though," he said because crying was fucking exhausting and he knew all too well how Jasper's throat probably felt by now.
Jasper was still fully dressed, hoodie and jacket and all, and he knew logically that he had to let go of his father to take care of that. They couldn’t sleep in that position anyway. Still, his movements were reluctant as he released Gavin and sat up more. After he’d drained what water was nearby, he pulled his shoes off and dropped them off the edge of the bed, his gaze moving warily to the bedroom door. It was open and everything beyond it was blackness, and he thought maybe if he strained hard enough he could see the greenish outline of a child’s face in that dark. He squeezed his eyes shut and stripped faster, getting down to his shirt and boxers and socks before he got under the covers with Gavin.
When he’d been a kid and he’d had a bad dream or some strange noise had woken him up, back when Gavin still lived at home, he’d often gone to his parents’ bed to squeeze his way between them so he could actually sleep soundly. Jasper didn’t think he and Gavin had shared a bed since then. There was no mother figure to occupy space on his other side, but the dogs were resettling, and that was almost as good. Jasper scooted in close, fighting off the urge to physically cling to Gavin again but still wanting to touch him somehow. “You really believe me?” he whispered once he’d settled.
Gavin didn't mind the open door. If there was anything out in the apartment the dogs would get restless but they were both calm now, sprawled on the bed next to Jasper. At the question he just grunted and nodded at first though 'believe' wasn't even the right word for it. If Jasper had told him it was still foggy out he'd believe him without looking because he knew fog existed and it had been there earlier, it wasn't really the sort of belief that took effort. He knew. "You know those little brown bags all over the house?" he said quietly as he settled back down, resting his head on his good arm. "They're supposed to protect you." He knew Ollie had put one in Jasper's car when he first got it but if it was still there or not was a different story.
The hex bags had been such a ubiquitous part of Jasper’s childhood, it took him a second to recall what Gavin was talking about. He’d rolled onto his side to face his dad, and his brow furrowed in thought for a moment before he nodded. “The little ... potpourri things?” he asked, realizing even as he said it that they must not have been potpourri things at all. “Does Mom know about this shit, too? Wait ... what do you mean?” She had tons of those small bags all over the house, and Jasper had always just thought they smelled weird and didn’t give them any more thought than that. Apparently they deserved more. “Protect me from freaky-ass little black-eyed children?”
Gavin couldn't help but smile faintly because none of those bags was that specific. "From evil," he whispered and it felt weird to say it to someone he'd always thought would roll his eyes at him for it. In hindsight it was fucking stupid and he should have let Jasper roll his eyes all he wanted but he still should have told him something. He'd tried to keep him safe by other means but ignorance was dangerous too. "I don't know how it works but I think it might, things got... quieter after she got them."
Even twenty-four hours ago, Jasper might have rolled his eyes. He’d stopped going to church years ago, and he wasn’t sure he believed in things like evil anymore. Or he hadn’t been sure. Now ... now he didn’t know what else to call what he’d felt looking into those black-hole-eyes on the other side of his car window. Evil, that had been the word for it. Evil he could feel deep down inside. That was what had made him run. He didn’t feel like rolling his eyes now; it made his skin prickle just to think about. “Things weren’t quiet before?” he asked, the question hardly audible. He couldn’t imagine his parents dealing with something like this, but it was starting to become clear that they had.
Gavin was quiet for a moment because telling horror stories to someone who was already traumatized wasn't exactly on top of his to do list. "No, they weren't," he finally said hesitantly, an understatement if he'd ever made one. "Whatever you saw... it was real. You did the right thing coming here. I'm... glad you did." He so often felt nothing for his son but exasperation and awkwardness that this fierce feeling of protectiveness and worry for him was like finding a sign of life, a relief in the middle of a shitstorm. As much as he didn't mean to push Jasper about deciding what to do he couldn't help it now, frowning softly at him for a moment as he failed to hold back. "Will you please move in now? You don't have to stay here all the time, I won't bother you about it but you can't... You can't stay in the car."
Jasper wanted to ask what had happened, what his dad had seen, because it had obviously been something. Maybe his mom too. He hadn’t yet had a lot of those surreal moments of realizing his parents lives were bigger than him, but he was having one now. Gavin wasn’t a man who tolerated bullshit in his life, but he hadn’t hesitated to believe Jasper for a second, which meant he was very convinced of the truth of what he was saying. He just wasn’t sure he wanted to know the specifics yet, not tonight. Jasper could hear the sincere worry in Gavin’s tone, lowkey as it might be. If he’d known shit like this was possible, no wonder he’d made this offer. “I’ll move in,” he murmured after a moment. There really was no question now. He could never sleep in his car again.
Gavin's relief was a tangible thing, like something very real and heavy had been pressing on his chest and now it let up. Of course he fully realized Jasper might change his mind when day broke and the fog cleared but right now he agreed. Gavin couldn't let himself feel bad about pushing him when he was vulnerable since it was for his own damn good but that part of parenting had never really come easy to him. "Good," he said softly. They could work out the details tomorrow even if Gavin was itching to get started right now. It was probably weird that he was excited about this given how much of a disaster it was likely to be but that urge to make things right right now had always been strong in him.
With Jasper calming down, Gavin was beginning to realize that this was probably the only time they'd ever be this close. Things would go back to normal in a few hours, possibly even more awkward if Jasper felt ashamed for tonight and Gavin thought he should be saying something, doing something while he had the chance. What though? That was the question. Words didn't come easy, he didn't want to traumatize Jasper further by sharing his own fears and nightmares and 'I love you, kiddo' just sounded weird even in his head. "I'm glad you came home," he muttered, reaching up and giving Jasper's shoulder a little squeeze. "You're okay now."
Jasper was not in the frame of mind to think about any details. He’d been leaning toward saying yes to moving in with Gavin anyway, and this happening had just blown any additional doubt he felt out of his mind. And if it ended up being intolerable, he would just figure something else out. But staying out there with those things roaming around ... no. He couldn’t do it. So he would make this work until he came up with something better.
Lying down somewhere he could stretch his legs out and getting warm were starting to work their magic on him, calming his body enough that his mind was really calming too. The fear was still there somewhere, lurking in the background, but Jasper was starting to feel tired. He wished the fucking power was back on, he wouldn’t have minded sleeping with the TV on, but just the presence of his dad and Max and Rude was doing enough. Feeling Gavin’s hand on his upper arm made Jasper feel a little emotionally wobbly again, and he reached up to give his wrist a squeeze back. Besides their occasional stiff and awkward hugs, he couldn’t remember the last time they’d touched this much. “Me too,” he said softly. Jasper hadn’t even thought of anywhere else to go at the time, and now he was glad he hadn’t had time to second-guess it. “Thanks, Dad.”
He wasn't the only one feeling tender as Gavin felt something squeeze in his gut at the way Jasper said 'dad'. He rarely ever felt that parenting thing people talked about and when he did it was usually with Amelia. With Jasper he was too busy feeling useless and guilty. "Yeah," he whispered. "You always come here, no matter what happens. Okay?" He gave Jasper's shoulder another squeeze before letting go and breathing in deeply in an effort to calm that weird hurricane of feelings.
Since his teenagehood really kicked in, Jasper hadn’t felt like he’d had somewhere to always go. There were friends’ houses, there was the hellish and hostile environment at his mom’s, there was the stilted awkwardness of his dad’s with all those unspoken feelings ... but maybe that could be different now. Because now they seemed to have something really in common besides blood. “Okay,” Jasper whispered back. He felt a little like something was missing with Gavin’s hand gone from his shoulder, and he only hesitated for a moment before he scooted in closer. He might hate himself for it later, but he felt like he needed that human connection of touch. Jasper tucked his face in against Gavin’s chest and loosely hooked an arm around him. “Leave the light on?”
"Of course," Gavin replied and that weird feeling in his chest was back, tight and a little painful. He understood the need for human contact, how it was fear that drove Jasper to seek out this closeness and abandon his anger and pride behind for the night. That also meant he understood this would probably never happen again and that stung a little. Max was snoring by now which was a little funny and a little soothing. The big coward didn't fall asleep easily so this meant the house had to be safe. Hopefully Jasper felt it too and Gavin rested his hand on his back again, giving it a little rub. "You're safe now, got me and the dogs," he said, the words quiet and a little slow as if he wanted to lull Jasper to sleep with them. "Not gonna let anything happen to you."
He was calmer now, but everything in Jasper was still raw and confused, and those words made him want to cry again. He swallowed it down, because how much could he humiliate himself in a single night? But he still wanted to. He could feel the dampness of his dad’s shirt from the tears he’d already shed, and felt a dull flash of shame. He had and still was acting like a scared little girl, but how else was he supposed to deal with a solid foundation of reality being suddenly ripped away from him? Jasper had never really believed that the supernatural was real, even questioning the existence of God now and then when he was really high. But now he’d been bludgeoned over the head with proof. Terrifying proof. He was too tired to really understand it, and all he wanted was the safety of his dad’s bed -- the dogs really did make him feel better, he’d been there enough to know what a light sleeper Max was -- and to escape into unconsciousness for a while. Jasper didn’t say anything, just closed his eyes and tried to breathe deep and slow, taking in the comfort of the arm around him and his dad’s familiar smell.
Gavin didn’t sleep for a while. When Jasper started drifting off he could feel impotent rage join his host of emotions. These things had come after his son and if they were human he would go after them to show them you don’t fuck with the Lucas family. They weren’t human though, were they. They were something else, something Gavin couldn’t punch or shoot so how did he protect his kids from it? The only things he could do were so passive, protective runes, praying, herbs. It went against the core of who he was as a man.
At least he could be here for his son. If nothing else he was the one Jasper had come to when he really needed someone and he had agreed to move in. There was a small chance there that things could be better. Gavin just wished he could punch away the terrors of the night as well.
That ability would have come in handy, because Jasper didn’t sleep peacefully. At least not at first. His body was exhausted, but his mind couldn’t seem to relax, and the dreams it gave him were horrible, populated with small children with no eyes. He woke up several times in the hours before dawn, his body jerking a bit as his heart pounded and his eyes popped open. Every single time he was fine, he was still in bed with Gavin and Max and Rude, and nothing was trying to get at him.
Once the sun had come up and provided some light through the windows -- though it was still filtered, somehow strange light -- Jasper slept deeper. He eventually rolled away from Gavin and hugged Max instead, murmuring something nonsensical before he dropped back into sleep. Finally really resting, he was going to stay that way as long as he possibly could.
Gavin was not well rested when he rolled out of bed but that was okay. The patchy sleep was worth it if it made his kid feel safe and Jasper had needed him. That wasn't something he could say often and it was a novelty he'd try to cling to when things went bad again. He'd been there for him that one night. He rubbed Jasper's back gently before he left him there, as if to let his sleeping self know things were still okay even if he was stepping out of the room for a few minutes. He turned off the flashlight and peeked out through the curtains, a wave of heavy anxiety flooding him at the sight of the thick fog still out there. It had to clear up by noon. It just had to. Getting to church was going to be a bitch if he even ended up going. It all depended on Jasper. If Jasper stayed, Gavin might stay home this one time. If he left in a huff, embarrassed and angry, then Gavin was definitely going to service.
The dogs were awake too but they stayed where they were when Gavin signalled at them to 'stay'. At least they weren't antsy as he left them there, as if they understood the younger Lucas needed guarding.
The power was still out which meant coffee was out of the question so he got himself a Mountain Dew from the fridge instead because damn it he needed his morning fix. At least he could smoke so that was something. He periodically checked in on Jasper and when it became clear he wasn't going to make it to church without waking him, he texted Aaron to let him know he wasn't coming. He then texted with Caden some to figure out what to do with the bar since the power was still out and at some point he took the dogs out to the yard when they gave up on their sleeping buddy and came traipsing out of the bedroom in need of attention.
Caught up in a deeper state of unconsciousness, the restorative sleep his body needed after such a long and stressful night, Jasper didn’t wake up until close to noon. He woke up alone, as he usually did, but something about where he was disoriented him for a minute. The light was weird, he knew this room but he wasn’t used to waking up there. The night before started to come back to Jasper, and his heart picked up a tiny bit as he recalled why he was in his father’s bed. It didn’t last long, but the little surge of adrenaline had him waking all the way up. Jasper sat up and leaned forward, rubbing his hands over his eyes.
It took him a while to really get moving, but eventually he was shuffling his way to the bathroom. Jasper took a piss and washed his face in the sink, still grungy from work, and noted the lack of hot water. Fucking power outage. Jasper really wanted a shower, but he wasn’t desperate enough for a cold one. He could hear the radio on in the kitchen as he emerged from the bathroom, and headed that way.
Gavin was fretting in the kitchen, wanting to cook lunch and being unable to because the damn power just wasn't coming on. He even thought about firing up the grill but it felt like he'd have to be a certain type of crazy to go grilling in the thick fog. Even the dogs wouldn't stay out in it, only just darting outside to do their business and then coming straight back in to pace nervously around him.
Everything felt wrong, he could blame it on what had happened to Jasper last night but it felt even bigger, like the end of the world was just around the corner and he was helpless to stop it. It wasn't that different from his usual anxiety so he was mostly holding it together but it was still there, gnawing at him. It made him scared that Jasper would leave now and drive off angry in the fog, crash into something - or worse. His antsy mind seemed to have latched onto the idea that if he just cooked something the food would make Jasper stay a little bit longer.
His stomach lurched uncomfortably when he saw Jasper approaching the kitchen and he gave him a pained little smile. "Power's out," he muttered almost apologetically, like it was his damn fault. "I got some cereal, soda..."
Jasper was still groggy and half-asleep, but he didn’t feel great either. His stomach was unsettled, and while his body felt rested, his mind still felt worn out and ... strained, somehow. Like it was overclocking. When he saw his dad, he felt a dull flush rush to his cheeks, but Jasper wasn’t as embarrassed as he maybe should have been. Not yet, anyway. He remembered those kids’ faces extremely well, like they were burned straight onto his brain, and he didn’t think there had been any better choice of where to go. He maybe shouldn’t have bawled like a bitch and clung to his daddy, but ... it was done now.
“Cereal’s okay,” he murmured. He knew he ought to be hungry, but he really wasn’t. Still, he would eat because what else was there to do? Jasper made his way past the table and looked out the window over the sink. The fog was still there, looking just as thick as it had the night before. That didn’t help the nervous feeling in his gut. Jasper frowned a bit and looked over at Gavin again. “Thought it woulda burned off by now.”
Gavin pushed away from the counter where he'd been standing and moved to step up next to Jasper, peering out the window too as he grunted something to the affirmative. He didn't like it one bit, especially not after what had happened the night before. It felt like an omen, like something terrible was hiding in the thick white. He felt the urge to touch Jasper again, even if he had no idea what to say to him, so he reached up and patted his back gently before heading to the fridge to get some milk. It wouldn't stay good for long if the power didn't come back on and that was another nuisance so they might as well finish it while it was still somewhat cool. "C'mon, eat something," he said. "You had a rough night."
That pat on the back probably would’ve made him tense on another day, but this morning -- afternoon? -- it was kind of reassuring. Just a reminder that Gavin was there and paying attention, and while it was kind of a weird feeling, it was a good one. Too bad it was mostly drowned out with all the other bad feelings that were happening. Jasper gave a huff at those words, because ‘rough night’ was maybe the understatement of the century. He tore his gaze away from the fog outside the window and went to the cabinet to get some cereal out. He felt restless, like he needed something to do with his hands. Jasper didn’t say anything until they were both sitting at the kitchen table again and he’d taken a bite or two of cereal. He was hungry, but it was still kind of unappetizing. He sat back a little and looked at his dad. “Can I bum a cigarette?” he asked in a murmur. “Think mine are still in the car.”
Gavin pulled his pack of cigarettes from his shirt pocket and slid it over to Jasper without question. The car was right out front but that didn't mean he wanted Jasper to go out there. He really doubted Jasper was ready to do it either, that damn fog was thick and that was just as bad as darkness if not worse. At least light worked against the dark. He needed to check in on Amelia and honestly he was surprised Ollie hadn't called him yet to scream at him. Maybe Jason Randall was more of a man than he'd let on and hadn't run straight to her to whine about him.
"You still want to move in?" he asked after a beat because he really needed to think about something that wasn't fog and monsters and planning a move was as good as anything else.
Pure teenage annoyance flashed through Jasper as he lit the cigarette he pulled out of his dad’s pack. He’d said he was going to move in, hadn’t he? What more needed to be said? But he knew rationally that he’d said it under duress, and he changed his mind with the breezes about everything, so of course Gavin was checking again. Jasper took a deep drag and exhaled it toward the ceiling, squinting one eye across the table at him. “Yeah,” he answered finally. He knew for sure he didn’t want to live full time with his mother, and now he really knew for sure he couldn’t keep sleeping in his car. Everything felt unsettled and wrong and dangerous, but this still felt like the safest place. “Starting now, I guess,” Jasper added in a mutter.
Gavin nodded, feeling weirdly relieved to hear that. Some small part of him knew that the same thing would no doubt happen with Amelia one day when she gave up on Ollie too and it wasn't the first time a small part of him wondered why he had to wait until they were old enough. The answer was plenty clear to him, he wasn't a good father and Ollie might be unstable and crazy but she was good with Amelia at least.
"We'll get you moved in when the fog lifts," he said and he truly hoped that would happen soon as in a matter of hours soon. "Do you like your old bed or should we get a new one?" He was going to need Aaron to come do the heavy lifting but that was okay, Aaron liked helping.
Jasper could only imagine the screechy hell that would be unleashed if he and Gavin went to his mom’s house to take the bed. He could almost hear his mother yelling about how it was hers and how dare he move out without talking to her -- it wasn’t like she would truly care where he was, but Jasper knew her well enough to know she would take it as an insult. “New one,” he decided, since Gavin gave him the option. It would make it simpler, he could just empty out his shit and leave. “But I can take the couch ‘til then.” Jasper truly didn’t mind that, since it was more comfortable than where he spent most nights now.
Gavin nodded again and took the pack of cigarettes back to light one up for himself. They still needed to move things out of the spare bedroom before they could move in a proper bed but he hoped the fog would clear so they could get this done in the next couple of days. The couch was comfortable and Jasper had slept on it plenty of times already but Gavin wanted him to have his own space now that he was officially moving in. He tried to focus on that plan instead of letting his anxiety get the better of him but it felt like there was a door closing between him and Jasper and he had to find a way to keep it open somehow. Every question he thought to ask might set Jasper off, he probably didn't want to talk about the night before or school or anything Gavin wanted to ask him and he tapped his cigarette needlessly against the ashtray a few too many times as a nervous tick.
For once, Jasper was struggling with the same issues. He did desperately want to talk to his dad -- needed to -- he just had no idea where to start. So he just sat there and tried to think through the looming sense that something was seriously wrong. Jasper was chalking it up to what he’d experienced the night before, that it was just lingering in his head and making him feel like his world had shifted. It had. Because apparently insane, impossible things were real. He got down to half his cigarette left before he really looked up at Gavin. “Something happened to you, didn’t it?” he asked finally. His voice was soft, but it still felt too loud in the quiet of the kitchen. It was almost like the world outside had ceased to exist.
It was a relief that Jasper asked because Gavin had been trying to find a way to bring it up while fighting against the urge all the while. He didn't want to freak his son out even more but not ever talking about what had happened the night before would become yet another weighty awkward thing between them and they had enough of those already.
He nodded and cleared his throat, tap-tap-tapping his cigarette again. "You were just little, real little... I was seventeen. Went out to get smokes. It wasn't even late." He hesitated, glancing up at Jasper to see if he even wanted to hear this. "There was a man, only... he wasn't. Not really. There was something wrong with him, too tall, too thin and his fingers..." Gavin took another hit off his cigarette, trying not to get too caught up in the memory of that night. He'd come home freaking out in a very similar way Jasper had been only he hadn't felt safe there either. Jasper had cried and cried and Ollie had been angry at first before she realized something was really wrong.
"He put his finger on my chest, right here," he muttered, tapping the center of his chest where the scar was. "And he... pushed."
Jasper did really want to hear it, even if he didn’t at the same time. Part of him wanted to metaphorically stick his fingers in his ears and ‘la la la’ as loud as he could to keep this information out of his brain. Sticking his head in the sand and pretending none of this was actually happening was tempting ... but Jasper wasn’t that foolish. He’d learned a lot of hard truths in his young life, and this had the same weight as those. He knew immediately what his dad meant by ‘something wrong with him.’ That was exactly how he’d felt about those kids, and it sent a chill down his back.
Before he’d left home, Gavin had spent plenty of time comfortably shirtless around the house, so Jasper knew what he was gesturing to. It was a short, thick scar right in the middle of his chest, almost like he’d had some surgery done. Or someone had stabbed him. In his younger years, Jasper had been sure that had been what it was, because his dad was a badass, so of course that was the reason. A frown slowly crept over his face as he listened, gaze ticking down even though there was nothing to see at the moment. “Pushed?” he echoed quietly.
Gavin's brows felt heavy and his forehead felt strained as he nodded. He wasn't sure how else to put it, that was what it had felt like. In hindsight the man had cut him but it felt more like a push, like he was going to keep pushing until his long fingers went right through Gavin's chest. That didn't make much sense except to Gavin who had experienced the thing and he cleared his throat again. "I don't know why I couldn't move but I couldn't and he just pushed until it started cutting and..." He trailed off, shook his head. "A car came and I ran, like I remembered I could, you know? He was grinning the whole time, that's all I remember of his face. Big ass grin." Licking his lips he leaned back in his seat. "S'why your mom has all those bags around the house, protection from evil, I had nightmares too, long before that. Something in the room. There's a lot of evil in this town, Jasper... I wish you hadn't had to see it."
It was like someone describing a nightmare they’d had, but Jasper could see it in his mind’s eye. His dad, even younger than he was now, facing some fucked up monster. Being penetrated by the fucked up monster. If there wasn’t a scar to prove it, and he hadn’t seen what he’d seen, Jasper thought it might sound like one of those false memories he’d heard of, a trick your brain played on you to cover up some other trauma. But right then he believed every word was gospel truth. “Did you ever see it again?” he asked after another long pause, his lips and fingers feeling a bit numb. “Did anything like ... change, after it ... cut you?”
Gavin shook his head. The only thing that had changed that night was that he was even more afraid than he had been before and that was saying something. He'd started going back to church too after a few years of not going. "I got some tattoos, tried to keep safe, didn't go out much by myself for a while. Your mom was great about it, she knew people, she got all these things, protective shit and you know I actually believe some of it works." He gave Jasper a small smile at that, unsure if he was in a place where he wanted to hear anything positive about Ollie. Gavin wasn't going to tell him she wasn't the most fucked up person he'd ever met but he could tell him she still had some merits and believing Gavin and helping him keep safe had definitely been one of them.
That didn’t sound much like Olivia to Jasper, but that had been a long time ago and he knew her differently, he guessed. Being someone’s kid wasn’t at all the same as being their husband. As much as they’d been at each other’s throats, Jasper still believed his parents loved each other at some point in time. Maybe not for long, maybe not much, but some. His Thing with Jules was starting to open some doors in his mind about that kind of shit. The mention of tattoos had Jasper’s gaze wandering to his dad’s arms this time -- he had a lot of ink and always had, and Jasper wouldn’t have been surprised if there was even more he hadn’t seen. “Which tattoos?” he wanted to know. If they worked, and they would keep those little demon kids and anything like them away from him, he wanted some too.
Gavin had a lot of tattoos, that was true, and a lot of them were specifically there in some feeble attempt to protect him. "The prayers," he muttered. "The Triquetra." He pulled up his sleeve a little to show Jasper the celtic knot. "Also wear this all the time," he added and patted his chest where the small silver cross sat underneath his t-shirt before tugging on the chain to reveal it. "Everything I could find. Everything your mom could find. I got the Anima Christi line right after it happened. It felt... Right."
The religious ones then, mostly. That made sense, Jasper supposed. If he was wrong about evil and monsters in the world, maybe he was wrong about God too. He realized his cigarette had burned down to the filter without his help, and he stubbed it out in the ashtray, then rubbed both hands over his face. “This is fuckin’ crazy,” he muttered, but it was more defeated than defiant. He recalled what Jules had told him she’d seen in her mirror, and he wondered if that was connected in some way, or just another bit of evil that was apparently floating around. “I never believed anything,” he added, his hands dropping to the table again. He gave Gavin a helpless sort of look. “Thought it was all just ... stories. Urban legends. Shit to scare kids with.”
Gavin could sympathize. He'd only been a year younger than Jasper was now when he ran into the thin man and before that he'd tried his best to ignore what the shadow in his room had really been. Night terrors or sleep paralysis sounded much better than actual monsters but now he knew better. "Some of them are definitely just urban legends," he admitted. "Some parts of the bible are definitely croc of shit but... Figuring out which is which is easier said than done." He stubbed out his own cigarette and clasped his hands together on the table. "All I know for sure is that there is evil and there is good and... we just have to cling to the good and hope it can protect us."
That ... wasn’t terribly reassuring, but Gavin’s expression kind of indicated that he knew that already. He seemed like he’d spent most of Jasper’s life not being reassured. Maybe that explained a lot about him, really. Jasper was too tired and still feeling too off-balance to think about it too hard. Maybe someday he and his dad would have a better understanding of one another, but it probably wasn’t going to happen all at once this morning. Afternoon. Whatever it was now. Jasper kind of wanted another cigarette. He poked at his cereal instead, letting his father’s words tumble around in his brain. Cling to the good. That honestly didn’t sound easy to him.
Gavin had never been particularly good at lying to his kids. It came hand in hand with actually being good at talking to his kids in general which he also wasn't good at but he wasn't sure if he admired or resented parents who could put on a show and pretend they were in perfect control of their lives. Jasper was too old for that shit now anyway, he wasn't going to even try to tell him things were fine because that kind of thinking would get him killed. "For what it's worth the nightmares stopped after I got all those protections," he muttered anyway. "And whatever's out there hasn't come in here."
There was a familiar soothing nails-on-wood sound from the hallway as the dogs came padding in from the laundry room, sniffing around for treats before settling down under the kitchen table. Gavin smiled faintly and gestured at them. "These two idiots help too."
Jasper mirrored that faint smile and he nodded a bit. He always slept better in the house knowing the dogs were there too, and their presence had helped immensely the night before. So had Gavin’s arm around him, like he was four years old again, but Jasper wasn’t going to dwell there. He was trying not to, anyway. “Well, now you’ll have three idiots around,” he murmured, his tone not quite as light as he meant it to be. Jasper grunted and rubbed a hand over his face again. “I feel like I barely slept ‘cause of nightmares, so ... you need to hook me up with your artist.” He gave a little huff, but he really meant that. If tattoos helped, Jasper had wanted some anyway. They might as well be useful.
Gavin huffed softly. "Four idiots under the same roof," he muttered rather than try and placate Jasper about how he wasn't an idiot. "That'll be something." The tightness was back in his chest, the not-anxiety one and he wanted to take Jasper to see his artist right now. It was impulsive and a little desperate because he couldn't remember the last time they'd actually talked like this or when Jasper had actually wanted something from him, something like this. "But yeah, I know a guy, I'll introduce you. About time you get some ink." He got up to grab something from the fridge to drink, holding up a can for Jasper in question. It wasn't very cold anymore but they still didn't have any damn coffee.
He nodded to the drink, and accepted it when Gavin came back with it. His cereal was soggy now, and he wasn’t really hungry anyway. Even though he was getting something like solutions, and he was about to have more of a home than he’d had in almost a year, Jasper still felt unsettled. Like he was waiting for something to happen, something right around the corner, something looming. It was probably just an effect of everything that was going on, but he somehow felt like it was more than that. “So like ... who else knows about all this?” he asked. “Besides Mom. Uncle Caden, Uncle Aaron? Was I the only one in the dark?”
"We don't talk about it," Gavin admitted. "I don't know. I think Caden wouldn't... believe me." That was putting it mildly, his brother would probably think they were crazy - unless he was hiding secrets of his own but Gavin doubted it. Then again he'd seen Jasper in much the same light, untouchable and more likely to laugh it off than really believe in any of it. Yet here he was. "I never talked to anyone about it but your mom and father Grady. I don't need people thinking I'm loopy, you know." It was a sad fact and there was no way to prove any of this had really happened. He already argued with Caden about so many things, the last thing he needed was for him to poke fun of something that had shaken Gavin this badly. It was probably a terrible thing that sometimes he wished Caden would experience something just horrifying enough to make him believe without it destroying him but there it was. The question remained though, if Caden would even ever tell a soul.
Jasper nodded a bit. He understood that, and he was kind of inclined to agree that Caden wouldn’t believe it. He would snark about it and piss Gavin off and then they would be fighting again, and that always sucked. Aaron would probably believe it, but Aaron was kind of a gullible dumbass. He’d been last in line when they were handing out Lucas brains. ‘We don’t talk about it’ seemed to be the family motto though, and Jasper kind of hated that there was something else to add to that pile. A big something else. He thought again of Jules and her mirror thing and wondered if he should tell her about this. He was going to have to explain why they weren’t hanging out in his car anymore, and now that she’d seen what she’d seen ... maybe she would believe him. He hoped she would, probably more than he ought to give a shit. “Are you gonna tell mom about this?” he asked warily. Jasper didn’t want Olivia to know anything about him, honestly, so he had to make sure.
Telling Ollie hadn't even crossed Gavin's mind and he looked a little surprised at the question. "Nah," he said though it sounded almost like a question. "It's not for me to tell, but if you want her to get more of those bags then you should talk to her, by all means. It's all weird witchcraft things I know nothing about. You could hang one from the rearview mirror, but no I won't tell her and you won't tell Caden." Jasper was close with Gavin's brothers so it was worth mentioning that he thought, in case Jasper didn't realize how bad an idea it would be.
It was true that Gavin and Olivia didn’t really collaborate much as parents, and Jasper wasn’t a kid anymore, but this was kind of a big deal, and something close to what they’d dealt with before, so he appreciated the reassurance. “I won’t tell Caden,” he confirmed with a small nod. He was close to his uncle, yes, but Jasper knew what a dismissive dick he could be, and what a concrete realist he was -- if it wasn’t in front of his face, he probably wouldn’t believe it. Jasper didn’t need Caden telling him he was crazy or imagining shit any more than Gavin did. Aaron might be different, but he probably couldn’t help, so what was the point? He was inclined not to ask Olivia for anything, but he didn’t say so.
Had they ever had a secret between them, him and Jasper? Gavin couldn't remember anything other than little things that didn't much matter. Don't tell mom I fucked up kind of things, nothing too serious. This was pretty heavy and he wondered if Jasper felt it too or if he was just being a sappy old man here. "Aaron knows a little about it," he had to admit. "He had something going on during the storm. We didn't really go into detail but... He knows there's more to it all. I won't tell him what happened to you, just so you know you can talk to him if you want."
Jasper nodded a bit, not terribly surprised that Aaron believed in stuff like this -- or rather, he knew about stuff like this, because apparently ‘stuff like this’ was real. “Okay, thanks,” he murmured. Jasper sighed and rubbed at one eye, giving another wary glance toward the window. The fog didn’t seem any thinner. He didn’t like it. “In other good news, two of my car windows got busted, did you hear about that? There were tons of ‘em.”
Gavin nodded because he had heard about it, it was all people talked about all weekend and he'd been happy his car had been spared but apparently Jasper's hadn't and that put a small frown on his face. "We gotta fix that," he muttered and he highly doubted Jasper had that kind of cash lying around so what he really meant was 'I gotta fix that'. "We'll swing by the shop tomorrow, it's getting cold out." He hoped Jasper wouldn't argue about it, he seemed agreeable today and it was his car, Jasper loved his car more than he liked resisting getting his dad's help and that was saying something.
“Okay,” he said again. It was easy not to resist when he knew for sure he couldn’t do something for himself. It would be winter soon, and he didn’t have any money saved up. Replacing two car windows, especially on an older vehicle like that, would be pricey. Better to let his dad foot the bill. He could add it to the list that surely existed somewhere of his debts. At least that one thing was settled, so why didn’t he feel any better? He ran his hands through his hair a few times, then crossed his arms on the table, staring across it at his dad. “Does it always feel this shitty?” he asked. “Like you’re waiting for the other foot to drop? Is that my fuckin’ life now?”
Gavin hesitated because if truth was to be told that was his life now and had been for two decades. Jasper wasn't him though, Jasper was different and Gavin leaned forward a bit, that line of worry deep between his brows. "No, no listen... You're brave and you never let this shit get to you before. You've got a safe place now, you know how to protect yourself." He couldn't promise that it would be okay and even if Jasper wasn't a full grown man he didn't think he could lie to him about that part, but he did know Jasper was more likely to fight back or know when to run than Gavin. He was more like Caden in that way, strong and unafraid. Well, until now at least.