pluckedstrings (pluckedstrings) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2024-02-03 08:51:00 |
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Entry tags: | #july 2018, brianna, brianna x tucker, tucker |
Who: Brianna and Tucker
When: evening, Saturday, July 28th
Where: the high school, Tuck's boat
Warning: turns NSFW
Status: complete, Part 1
It was hard for Eddie Tucker to believe he’d graduated twenty-five years ago. Time was a wild concept when you really sat down and thought about it. It was even harder to believe he’d actually shown up for the event. Tuck had never really been a joiner, he’d skipped most of the big high school things teenagers were supposed to be excited about -- getting a yearbook, getting a class ring, almost all of the fucking dances ... but here he was. Back in Point Pleasant for the first time in at least a decade, walking up toward the high school’s main building after at least twice that time span. It looked very different and yet exactly the same.
Coming back ‘home’ had been an impulsive move. Tuck had purposefully made himself difficult to contact to the people he’d grown up with, keeping a low profile and his number private, but he still had some tenuous connections through social media, and that was how he’d learned of this reunion. It seemed a little pointless in the age of everybody relentlessly ‘liking’ pictures of each others’ kids and sharing their shitty political opinions, staying ruthlessly connected through the years, but only one person had popped into Tuck’s mind when he’d read a class reunion was happening ...
He was here for Brianna.
Tuck hadn’t spoken to her in quite a few years, since the night they’d had phone sex, but she’d lived rent-free in his head since then. He’d almost called her back a hundred times, but kept telling himself that she was married, she had children, and that wasn’t going to change because of him. Shouldn’t change. It was better for him to let her go. He just ... couldn’t. Not completely. He felt compelled to see her again, maybe to really make sure that chemistry was in the past. They were different people now, adults with all of the wounds and burdens that adults carried, nothing would be the same. Or so Tuck tried to make himself believe.
He’d arrived at the marina earlier that day, sailing into town on his boat instead of driving there, and rented a slip for a couple of weeks, not sure how long he would really stay. It didn’t matter, he could afford it. Tuck had sipped on a couple of vodka sodas while he got ready in the cabin of the yacht, some old music blaring that made him feel all nostalgic. He’d groomed his beard, put on the burgundy jacket-and-pants combo that fit him the best, with a black t-shirt underneath. He made sure he smelled good, then headed out. Even if Brianna didn’t show up, it would be interesting to people-watch and see if anybody recognized him.
That casual idea didn’t stop his hands from feeling sweaty as he filled out the little “Hello My Name Is” sticker at the reception table on the way into the high school gym. The woman manning it didn’t remember him. Tuck didn’t remember her either. He put the sticker on his chest under his jacket, took a deep breath, and walked into the gymnasium, his eyes already scanning faces as he strolled toward the open bar.
Brianna had always known she would be attending the reunion. Considering it was being held in Point Pleasant, it would have been ridiculous not to. She knew some of her high school girlfriends would be traveling back into town for the evening and honestly, she needed something mindless to focus on. James was too busy to attend with her, and frankly, she was fine with that. As nice as it would have been to walk around with James on her arm, it would also feel... disingenuous somehow. She wanted to go alone so she didn't pout too much when he opted to stay home. Instead, Brianna took her time getting ready. In the end she opted for a midnight blue belted jumpsuit and a pair of black heels.
She took her time with her hair and makeup, telling herself it was because she wanted to make a good impression on anyone who might show up whom she hadn't seen in years. Did that include Eddie Tucker? Was he the reason she wore her expensive perfume? No, of course not. Eddie hadn't come to any of the other reunions, so why would he come to this one? He was probably still in Arizona, or maybe sailing around the world with a beautiful twenty five year old blonde.
Even so, Brianna stared at herself in the mirror for a long time before deciding she looked presentable. She kissed James goodbye and headed out, ignoring her nerves. It was just a high school reunion. She had three gorgeous children, a beautiful house and a husband who had a successful career. She had nothing in her life to be ashamed of. No one needed to know about the fog, or her nightmares or her affairs - one of which was likely over, which was more disappointing than she cared to admit.
Considering all of her children had attended Chamberlain High, Brianna had visited the building several times since her own graduation, so it didn't rock her to walk back inside the way it might for some of her peers. The gym was decked out in the school colors and Brianna was slightly taken aback by how many people actually showed up. She hadn't had a very large graduating class but it looked as though nearly everyone had returned for this occasion. Twenty-five years was a long fucking time.
Almost immediately she was surrounded by faces that had grown older, but were still so familiar to her. Eventually she had a drink in her hand and was catching up with people she hadn't seen in a long time. And then her glass was empty, which prompted her to excuse herself from a small group of former friends. She headed for the bar, relieved that James hadn't come. He would have probably hated this. Stepping up to the bar, she set the empty glass down, ready to wait for the man beside her to order. She barely gave him a glance as she didn't recognize him right away, and pulled her phone out of her purse to check her messages.
Tuck’s peripheral vision caught the movement of a glass being set down, and he glanced over automatically to see a slender graceful hand with nice nails pulling back. His turn to glance was interrupted by the bartender offering up his drink, so Tuck didn’t actually look at who was beside him for another couple of seconds. His gaze landed on her as he turned to get out of the way and Tuck froze. The recognition was instant for him, but Brianna’s looks had changed less than his own had in the intervening years ... she was just as beautiful as ever. More refined, even. His heart was suddenly in his throat, and for a second Tuck didn’t know what to do. The lovesick, shy and gawky teenager inside of him was paralyzed, at least, but he’d grown into more than that.
“Brianna,” he said after just a couple of heartbeats of staring. The name rolled off of his tongue smoothly, and Tuck’s lips curled into a smile. He’d had a lot of practice developing the charming side of his personality, and suddenly it all seemed like it had been in preparation for this moment.
She looked up at the sound of her name, a polite smile forming on her lips. And then she froze. Because apparently she did know the man at the bar. She hadn't recognized him in her initial glance, but there was no mistaking him now. Eddie Tucker, with broad shoulders and a beard and the body of a man. He had come after all and while she had thought about this moment, she hadn't thought it would actually happen. The last time they had spoke had been on the phone what, five years ago? And that conversation had been... something she sometimes allowed herself to think about. Brianna stared for a moment herself before a smile broke out across her face. Her heart was still a jackhammer in her chest, but she couldn't exactly stand there and stare at him like some kind of love struck school girl. "Oh my god. Eddie." Without thinking, she stepped in to give him a hug. "I can't believe you're here!"
That pause said a lot, and time felt suspended for those seconds, staring into Brianna’s beautiful blue eyes again. She was stunning, a full grown woman now, just radiating sophistication and poise. And that smile could positively melt a man. Tuck barely even registered that she called him Eddie, because a second later she was embracing him. He lightly wrapped his free arm around her shoulders to give her a small squeeze of greeting. Tuck thought for sure she would hear his heart racing, being that close, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. He was careful not to hug her too tight or for too long. “Yeah, I can scarcely believe it myself,” he answered with a chuckle before he pulled back. It was the opposite of what he wanted to do, but Tuck was keenly aware that Brianna’s husband could be here too. “You look incredible,” he told her, glancing her over. “What are you drinking?”
Brianna didn’t want to pull away from him just yet, though she didn’t resist when Eddie did just that. They hadn’t seen each other in over a decade. A lingering hug was probably awkward for him. And for all Brianna knew, he had come here with someone who may not appreciate the affection. But she kept her composure, still smiling as he complimented her. “Gin and tonic,” she said, thanking the bartender when he took her glass and began to make her a new drink. Her attention shifted back to Eddie and gods, he had certainly grown up, hadn’t he? She had no idea what she’d expected to see if they ever crossed paths again, but the last time she had seen him he had been in college, still a bit lanky and definitely without the facial hair. Rationally, Brianna knew he wouldn’t look exactly as he had so long ago, but those memories had been burned into her mind for so long. “You look incredible too. I didn’t even recognize you. I just… I can’t believe you came. Did you come with anyone?” Brianna didn’t want to sound too curious but she wanted to brace herself if she was about to be introduced to some other woman.
He’d meant to order her drink for her, but she beat him to it -- it was all free alcohol, so maybe not any grand gesture, just chivalrous. Tuck didn’t mind too much, it gave him another angle of her beautiful face to stare at. He made a bit of room and leaned one elbow against the bar while they waited. He knew he had gotten much more attractive since high school and college, but the compliment made him smile anyway. “Nope, flying solo tonight ... every night, really,” Tuck said. Maybe that was an obvious way to tell her he was single, but something in Tuck was dying to watch Brianna’s reaction, so he might as well lay it out on the table as clear as he could. He’d often thought of that night on the phone too, both in good and bad lights ... he felt guilty for it sometimes, like he’d baited Brianna into something seedy. But other times it took him right back to that night and turned him on something fierce. “What about you?” His gaze flickered away from her briefly to scan the area for any disgruntled husband types.
Brianna was having a hard time not staring. Eddie was there, standing right in front of her. They hadn't seen each other since their college years, had no contact but for that one, steamy phone call five years ago. And now he was there, in the flesh, and despite her calm exterior, she was completely beside herself. She took the drink offered to her from the bartender, happy to have something occupying her hands now. It could have been her imagination, but it felt as though Tuck was wanting to make sure she knew he was single, which was just fine with her, since she had clearly wanted to know. "Solo tonight," Brianna said, acutely aware now of the diamond ring still on her finger. But she didn't want to focus too long on James. "How long are you in town for?"
Brianna’s wedding rings hadn’t escaped Tuck’s notice either, but it wasn’t exactly a shock that she was still married. She was still fully in it with multiple kids who couldn’t all be college-age yet ... could they? Fuck, time was relentless, wasn’t it? Maybe her marital status ought to mean more to him than it did, but it didn’t diminish Tuck’s desire to pull her body against his and kiss the hell out of her. He wondered if she felt it as much as he did, that pull between them. “I’m not sure yet, my schedule’s pretty open,” he answered, a little impressed with himself over how smooth and composed he sounded. Tuck’s insides were rioting, but he’d developed a good poker face over the years. He half-smiled at Brianna and offered her his arm, since she had her drink. “Come sit with me, let’s catch up.”
Of course Brianna felt the pull between them. It would have been impossible not to. He had been the first boy she had ever loved and that was a powerful thing. There was a history between them and their last phone call was probably proof enough that Brianna hadn't buried Tuck as deep into her past as she had thought. Smiling, she took his arm, wishing everyone else would just disappear from the gym so they could talk in private. Not that she thought people would be nosy or anything, but Brianna always felt like she had to be "on" when other people were around. Not to mention there was music playing and there was the real possibility that they would get interrupted. "I want to catch up," she told him, sipping from her glass. "But can we go somewhere else?" The entire school was empty as far as she knew. Tuck might feel more comfortable being surrounded by people, but something told her he hadn't exactly come to this reunion to be Mr. Sociable.
There wasn’t a single other person in the building that Tuck cared about. He’d had friends in high school, of course, people he wouldn’t mind seeing and chatting with again, but if they never materialized, he didn’t give a single shit. The only thing that mattered to him at the moment was the gentle pressure of Brianna’s hand on his arm. Being touched by her again made his groin tingle, and he got a memory-echo of her orgasmic moans in his ear from that call. He wanted to hear those again, only louder and in person. Brianna’s suggestion that they find somewhere more private made him think she wanted the same. Tucker hummed thoughtfully as he glanced around the gym while they moved away from the bar, then turned another little smile on her. “Band room?” he posed, arching an eyebrow. It was down a couple of hallways, away from the crowd, and Tuck was willing to bet it was unlocked.
Brianna glanced up at him with a smile. "Band room," she agreed. Everyone seemed to be having a good time so she didn't think anyone would really see the two of them leave the gym together. Even if they did, what did it really matter? She doubted any of this would get back to James, and if it did, he wasn't likely to say anything to her. Her heart was still racing as they tried the doors to the darkened band room and she was relieved when they found one of the doors unlocked. The room itself was organized and clean, no doubt ready for the chaos that the new school year would bring in a few short weeks. Being alone with Tuck again was a thrilling experience, yet at the same time, she felt unsettled at how quickly he turned her into a melty puddle of teenage girl hormones. It wasn't like her at all and she was desperate to regain some footing. Brianna set her glass down on one of the large, covered drums. "So, catching up. What have you been up to since..." Since the last time they had talked on the phone. When they'd had phone sex. Brianna maintained an air of casual curiosity, but she could feel her cheeks warm a bit. "... we last spoke."
Even just walking down the wide, empty hallway with Brianna filled Tuck with an electric sort of excitement he hadn’t felt so strongly in a lot of years. Though part of him had always held a candle for Brianna, he’d moved on with his life and been involved with many women over the years to varying degrees, but not much adult experience could match that thrill of a first love. A first everything, really. In the band room, Tuck took a generous swallow of his drink before he set the glass down next to Brianna’s and pulled a couple of chairs closer for them to perch on. They were plastic and cheap, and so nostalgic to plant his ass on again. The way Brianna phrased her question brought a faint smirk to his lips, and Tuck reached for his drink again. “Let’s see, that was ... what, five years ago?” he asked, as if he didn’t know exactly how long it had been. Tuck took a thoughtful sip. It was hard to think of what to tell her. In the ensuing years he’d been living like he had for quite a while before that phone call -- gambling, making a killing from it, treating himself to travel and resorts and anything he wanted ... he’d attempted two serious relationships, but they hadn’t worked out in the end. “Just living the dream, I guess,” Tuck offered with a lopsided smile. “Working as little as possible. Made some good investments, so I’ve been traveling a lot. Got close to getting engaged, but ...” He shrugged.
Brianna sat and crossed her legs, bringing her own drink back to rest on her knee. It had been five years ago, though depending on the day, it either felt longer... or like yesterday. She hadn't really allowed herself to think about that night in quite some time. At the end of the day, Brianna had just assumed Tuck had regretted it. Her lips curved slightly at what he described as "living the dream". It didn't sound terrible though. Traveling, making money with very little work. She vaguely recalled that he had told her he was independently wealthy. She also remembered he had been married for a brief moment in time, though she had never gotten the details on that. Which was fine, as Brianna hadn't exactly wanted them. "But," Brianna repeated, tapping her fingernail gently against her glass. "One of the most depressing words in the English language. It sounds pretty nice otherwise. Traveling, enjoying your life without being tied down. No wife to drag along to a high school reunion in your small cursed hometown, where your gorgeous ex-girlfriend still resides." She gave him an amused, teasing sort of look before taking a sip of her drink.
Tucker had certainly been thinking about it. First he’d agonized over calling Brianna again, yearning for a repeat encounter and knowing it probably wouldn’t happen, that things would just be awkward and uncomfortable. He wanted to respect her and her marriage ... well, her, at least. Brianna hadn’t reached out to him either, so after a while Tuck had assumed that meant she didn’t want him even on the periphery of her life. Or maybe that had been a convenient way for him to pussy out of it, Tuck wasn’t sure. But the loose end had plagued him. He could forget about Brianna for a while, engage in the life he was actually living with the women who were actually in it, but that redheaded ghost would surface again eventually. No other woman could compete, and looking at her now, Tuck felt sure that wasn’t just his rose-colored memories talking. “No wife could measure up to you,” he murmured, leaning back in his chair a bit with a faint smile. “That’s probably why I’m a permanent bachelor.” It could’ve been a flirty joke, it could’ve been the truth, who was to say? “What about you, what’s been filling your last five years?”
She wasn't sure if she believed that, but hearing Tuck say it still brought a strange sort of ache to her chest. It wouldn't do to get caught up in old memories, not when she was still married and he would likely be leaving Point Pleasant in his rearview in a day or two. That didn't mean she couldn’t enjoy a light, flirtatious conversation with him. Brianna was under no impression that Tuck wanted anything more than that very thing. She couldn't bring herself to comment on what he had said, though. It wasn't like she had been a very good wife, herself. "Let's see," she said, glancing around the band room briefly. "Working, raising a family, keeping myself busy however I can." Getting sucked into a hellish fog dimension and enduring months of horrific emotional trauma. Brianna exhaled softly and smiled at Tuck again. "I waited for you to call me again." She had no idea why she admitted that out loud, but it had to be better than letting her mind go down the path of what she had been through. She wanted to enjoy this night, and Tuck's company. "I didn't know if you would, but I had hoped."
He’d just been thinking that sounded like such a normal, boring sort of life, but it was probably more fulfilling than he could imagine, but Brianna thoroughly derailed that train of thought. Tuck’s heart squeezed and thumped weirdly in his chest, and he inhaled sharply through his nose. “I wanted to,” he said after a pause. “I almost did, many times. I just ... I didn’t want to make anything harder for you. I hoped you would call me, but I get why you didn’t.” It was on the tip of his tongue to apologize for leading their conversation into erotic territory that night, he hadn’t been sober or thinking about consequences at all. Tuck wasn’t a man to play it safe even most of the time, but when it came to the lives of people he cared about, he tried not to be reckless. That itch was in his hands again to touch Brianna though, and he rubbed his palms against his legs. “I’ve thought about you often over the years,” he murmured, warmth in his tone. “A truly inappropriate amount.” Tuck smiled faintly.
Brianna knew she could have called him. She had kept his number in her phone for a long time, but she had selfishly wanted the onus to be on Tuck, like it might alleviate whatever responsibility or guilt lay on Brianna's shoulders. But it was probably for the best that it had been that one phone call. The affairs she'd had after the fact were meaningless and easy to end. She wasn't sure the same could have been said if more had happened with Tuck, of all people. "I thought about you too," Brianna admitted. "But I suppose that's normal, isn't it? We meant a lot to each other." She didn't feel shy saying so. Growing up and maturing, there were a lot of things in her past that, in hindsight, weren't as significant to her as she had thought they were at the time. But Tuck had never fallen under that umbrella. He had been important to her, even after she had broken up with him. It would be silly to pretend otherwise now.
Part of Tucker wanted to backpedal this conversation, because they were quickly moving into dangerous territory here. Hearing that he’d been on Brianna’s mind too did things to his insides that were hard to explain. Not that Tuck thought she’d just forgotten about him until that call and then again immediately after ... but he’d been pretty convinced that the fixation was only on his side. Brianna had moved on and maintained a family, after all, and all Tuck had to show was a nasty divorce and a string of failed relationships. “That we did,” he agreed quietly. Tuck somehow managed not to say that she still meant a lot to him, because how crazy would that sound? People were supposed to learn from their high school relationships and carry on with their lives, weren’t they? That was ‘normal’? Not clinging to a hopeless thread of connection. They didn’t even really know each other anymore. Tuck knew he ought to say more, maybe change the subject to something light and safe, but no other words really came to him.
Of course, Brianna had never forgotten about Tuck. He'd entered her thoughts many times over the years, sometimes briefly, when she saw something in town that reminded her of him, or when it was late and she couldn't sleep and older memories of easier, happier times slipped into the forefront of her mind. Even when she thought about Phee and Greg and how she feared for the day her daughter got her heart broken because first loves rarely lasted, despite the optimism and hope. Sitting with Tuck now, she wondered what life might have been like had she not listened to her parents. But it was difficult to follow down that path because she wouldn't have her children and even if she could turn back time now, she wouldn't give that up for anything, or anyone. That didn't mean she wasn't curious as to who Tuck was now. He certainly didn't resemble the slightly awkward teenage boy she had become smitten with so long ago. But despite all of that, Brianna still felt those butterflies in her stomach, just being in the same room as him. What did that mean? Was it just nostalgia or something else? "Are you happy where you are?" Brianna asked after a few moments of silence between them. "With where you live and what you're doing with your life? Is it where you had expected to be?"
Tuck had to chuckle as he dropped his head for a second. Those definitely weren’t ‘casual catch up’ sort of questions, were they? “You haven’t changed much,” he said, looking up at Brianna with a warmly amused smile. “Still intense.” As a teenager he’d always been a bit in awe of how self-possessed she was as a person, how sure of who she was and what she wanted, when he’d just felt like a mess. Brianna had helped him feel like less of a mess, even though he’d had a bit of a spiral after their breakup. That was to be expected with first heartbreaks, Tuck supposed. “Uh ... well it’s certainly not where I expected to be,” he went on, to actually answer her questions. “I never thought I would be in this line of business, much less make real money from it. But life is surprising, isn’t it? I’m ... happy enough, I suppose. I’ve got a lot of freedom most people don’t, I’m grateful for that.” He couldn’t honestly say he was a fully happy or contented person, he got lonely and down too often for that. But it didn’t feel like a struggle, just Tuck’s lot in life.
He was probably right. She could be intense. Maybe she was too intense. It was just difficult to pretend to be casual with Tuck. Hell, the last time they had spoken on the phone, how quickly had that delved into something erotic? He wasn't like her other classmates, where she could focus on the shallow stuff and be satisfied with it. Brianna smiled softly and listened because she did want to hear the answer. She had broken his heart so long ago, but she had always known he would make something of himself and be happiest somewhere far away from Point Pleasant. Did she envy his freedom? On some level, of course she did. But this was the life she had chosen. And listening to Tuck now, Brianna realized she had made the right decision. If they had stayed together and Tuck had stayed with her in Point Pleasant, he would have probably ended up resenting her. There was no freedom here. There wasn't much of anything but trauma and misery. "Happy enough is better than not happy at all," Brianna said, managing a small smile as she brought her glass up to her lips again. She would need a refill soon. "But I'm glad to hear that you're doing so well. I knew you would."
Tuck had thought fairly often about what might’ve happened if he’d stayed in Point Pleasant. Most people probably did, when it came to their hometowns. But Point Pleasant was a place unlike any other he’d ever been, so the odds of life being full of fuckery would’ve been high, if he’d stayed. He was too old now to think that he and Brianna would’ve stayed together from high school into adulthood, he knew relationships like that very rarely worked in this day and age when divorce was a more accepted option. But would they have come back together later in life, if he’d been closer? Would she have really married James McCarthy to stay? What if he’d come back sooner, with enough of a bank account to make Brianna’s parents happy? They were all useless hypotheticals, but Tuck couldn’t help but wonder sometimes. “Are you, then?” he asked her softly, watching the way her glass indented her bottom lip. “Happy enough?”
It was easy to wonder "what if", but at the end of the day, they had both taken different paths in life. Clinging to the past wouldn't do much but ruin the present. That was part of the reason why Brianna hadn't allowed herself to think about Tuck much over the years. And now, with him turning the question back on her, Brianna smiled before sipping her drink. She waited until she set it back down before pushing some of her hair back behind her shoulder. It was a difficult question to answer. What would it say about her if she said she was unhappy? Tuck had no idea what had happened to her months ago, or what she was struggling with now. And it wasn't his burden to bear, either. Even so, there was a part of Brianna that felt like she could be honest in this room, to Tuck, of all people. He would be leaving town again, after all, and with him whatever was said tonight. "I'm... happy enough in some aspects of my life," Brianna said after a moment of thought. "Confused and lost in others. But maybe that's normal too."
She took so long to answer that Tuck was sure she was going to say no, she wasn’t happy. And Brianna kind of said it but didn’t. Though she had a point -- who was really one hundred percent happy? Not many people in this day and age, he was pretty sure. He titled his head a bit, looking at her intently. “Maybe it is,” Tuck agreed. “Doesn’t make it easier though.” He paused briefly, part of him yearning to touch her hair to see if it was as soft as he remembered, but mostly debating what he should actually say to her. Playing it safe seemed stupid all of the sudden, when he could just hop on his boat and sail away again. He’d come here for her, maybe just for this conversation, so he might as well use the time he had, right? “What aspects have you lost and confused?” he asked, his drink in one hand as he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Can I help? I’m still a good listener.” Tuck gave her a little half-smile.
Sitting so close to the first boy she had ever loved was a surreal moment, and she felt a barrage of so many conflicting emotions. The desire was there to ignore all of that unhappiness and pull him into the band director's office to make good use of the man's desk before Eddie left town again, possibly forever. But the fact that she knew he was leaving left her feeling open enough to admit certain truths to him. It could change his perception of her, and they could sever all lingering emotional ties and move on. Did she want to do that, though? Eddie Tucker was a virtual stranger to her now, and yet it felt like he had never left. Time had stopped somehow, and she was sixteen again, ready to spill her guts to the one person she knew would actually hear without judging her or somehow making her issues about them. Then again, maybe he would judge her. She wanted to reach for her drink and swallow the rest of it but somehow managed to resist.
"I don't know if you can help," Brianna said after a thoughtful moment. "It's just life. My kids are all at an age where they think they know everything and don't really need me anymore. James works a lot, and I don't feel... connected to him much anymore. That and he's been cheating on me for the last five or six years... which I suppose I can't be angry about because I've cheated on him too. I've built most of my life being a wife and mother, and now I'm not sure who I am." Brianna paused and huffed a soft, humorless laugh. "You've come all this way for a school reunion, and here you are listening to me whine about my life."
Tuck’s brows lifted when she mentioned James cheating, then inched up higher at the next part. A strange charged feeling rushed through him like he’d touched a live wire somewhere. It sounded like Brianna was in a broken marriage, and that had to be painful, but part of him couldn’t help but get excited hearing it. After their infamous phone call, he’d worried so much about fucking up Brianna’s marriage, but it sounded like it had already been fucked ... or was about to be. He wondered a bit how that timing lined up, but he didn’t want to ask. He really wanted to grab her and pull her into his lap, but Tuck wanted to make sure that was completely welcome first. He shook his head and smiled faintly. “It’s not whining, I asked,” he pointed out. “I want to know you again.” He knew that wouldn’t happen instantaneously, but he was glad that Brianna was telling him a truth that she probably didn’t tell many people. “I came for you,” Tuck murmured. “I could give a shit less about anybody else here.” He didn’t know how to advise her on being more than a wife or mother, since he would never be either, so he didn’t try to fix it with a couple of platitudes. He offered her his hand instead. “Sounds like a rough time.”
Tuck's wanting to know her again brought a new bevy of complicated emotions. She wanted to know him too, but would doing so somehow taint their memories of each other when they were young and in love? They had been apart for over two decades, and Brianna had gone through so much since then. She was sure Tuck had as well. That carefree girl he had known was long gone. It was difficult to keep that barrier between them when he admitted he had come to the reunion for her. Deep down, Brianna knew she had hoped he would show up, and now he was here, and it was hard to describe how she felt about it. Not that she really had to. Her hand slipped into his offered one without hesitation and those lingering butterflies in her stomach seemed to explode and multiply. His hand was stronger than she remembered and for a brief moment, she wondered what it would feel like on her body. "You came here for me," Brianna murmured, her eyes still fixated on his face. "Were you hoping to find me happy or unhappy?"
He wasn’t so naive to think that Brianna was the same as she’d been in high school. Tuck certainly wasn’t, nobody was at this point in their lives. Nor did he have any interest in any woman who still acted like a seventeen year old, and he’d always harshly judged men whose attraction never matured past that point. No, Tuck wanted a grown woman, someone who understood the world. He’d fallen in love with Brianna back before either of their brains were fully formed, and now he wanted to know if that connection could be rekindled, if they were compatible as adults. Tuck knew he shouldn’t wonder such a thing, since Brianna was married ... but there were obviously issues there, so maybe he had a chance. Maybe they had a chance. The feeling he got in his chest when she took his hand, her soft smooth skin against his, was electrifying. Tuck gently curled his fingers around hers and caressed her wrist lightly with his thumb, not breaking their eye contact. “Hm, a little of both,” he murmured back, a small smile on his lips. “I don’t wish unhappiness on you, but if I can do something about that ...”
The way his thumb brushed against her wrist sent sparks of heat down her spine directly to her core. Everything about this was dangerous. It wasn't just acting on mutual attraction, the way she had with Kane or the other men in her past. Getting involved with Tuck again could create a multitude of problems in her life. Then again, if he was leaving town again soon... maybe she could throw caution to the wind and enjoy him for the few days he was here. Brianna had become an expert at guarding her heart, so surely she could keep certain emotions from overwhelming rationality. With the way that Tuck was looking at her now, was it any surprise that Brianna would try to justify making a potentially bad decision? She was being selfish again and she knew it. But it was difficult to care. Memories of their phone call five years ago were very prevalent in her mind. "Do you think anyone would notice if we left?" she asked, well aware that nearly everyone in the gymnasium was too wrapped up in their own nostalgia and life stories to care about what had happened to her and Tuck. But she supposed she wanted to make sure that Tuck's idea of making her "happy" was the same as her own.
Even if people did care, even if the two of them walking out of the building together caused a big stir, nothing could keep Tuck from leaving with her except Brianna herself. And he was sure she wouldn’t have suggested it if she didn’t want to. Tuck tried to contain the sudden surge of excitement, his smile flashing briefly wider as he gave a little shrug. “Do you really care if they do?” he posed. Maybe she would, since she still lived in this town, but if that was the case she probably wouldn’t have come into the band room with him. Tuck wet his lips and then moved to stand up, still holding onto Brianna’s hand. “Would you like to see my home on the water?” He didn’t even bother with the pretense that they would go anywhere else public, a bar or to grab a bite to eat or anything. No, Tuck wanted to be alone with her, and the tone of her voice made him think she wanted the same thing. They were too grown up to fool around in the band room -- he wanted to savor anything that happened between them, with space and comfort and privacy.
Brianna supposed she didn't really care. She had left places with men before and even if people noticed, their whispers had never reached her ears. Lately it felt like she was less concerned with her public image than she used to be. What she had seen and been through put a lot of things into perspective. It was just accepting it that was the difficult part. Brianna looked up at Tuck as he stood and followed a moment later. "I would, yes," she said, intrigued and relieved that he wasn't staying at Juniper. She was guessing the place was probably fully booked right now, being that it was summer and there was a reunion happening. Brianna thought vaguely of Bash and the fact that he was living with his boyfriend on a boat, but she highly doubted they would see one another. "I remember you told me you were thinking of buying a boat," Brianna told him as they headed for the doors. "You really brought it here?"
“It’s how I got here,” Tucker told her as he opened the door like a gentleman. He could play that role sometimes, even though it rarely lasted terribly long ... but Brianna deserved that respect. “I sailed in this afternoon.” he paused, then chuckled. “It does mean I don’t have a car here though, so do you mind driving us down to the marina? Doubt you want to walk in those shoes.” He had taken a ride share himself, but Brianna would make much more pleasant company. As much as he wanted to keep holding her hand, Tuck let her go as they stepped out into the hallway, just in case someone came along. He glanced around to get his bearings, then side-nodded to their right. “Want to go out the side door?” he asked, his tone a little mischievous.
Taking her car would be much easier than Tuck having to drive her back to it whenever they were done catching up and she doubted anyone would be looking for her car at the marina. As far as James knew, Brianna was at her reunion and would be for awhile. "I can drive," she said, amused as they left the band room. "And yes, the side door, please." She could hear the music from the gym and it didn't look like anyone else had decided to roam around the school for nostalgic purposes. Even so, she had already been stupid once with Kane and had to deal with Phee finding out, so Brianna didn't want to risk being seen leaving with her high school boyfriend. Knowing her luck, Sebastian or Phee would be driving by at just the right time. Or wrong time. She could already hear Phee's shrieks in her head and she wanted to avoid it. But this? This was a surreal experience, walking with Tuck into the parking lot to her car, something they had done together so many times before. "We should have let you socialize a bit before leaving. You could have told everyone you sailed into town today on your boat. I guarantee no one else has that story to tell."
There was something sweetly nostalgic about leaving the school building with Brianna. They even took the same route out that he remembered taking a few times, sneaking out of school early with her. Skipping a few classes to grab a milkshake at Moxie’s and find somewhere secluded to fool around in his car, or at her house if they were lucky and her parents were both gone. The night air smelled like home as they walked into the parking lot, and Tuck was tempted again to take her hand, like an old habit sliding right back into place. “Maybe not,” he agreed, amused. Tucker didn’t give a shit though. He wasn’t out to impress anyone, or he would’ve been a lot more flashy with his money. “But then everybody wants to ask a bunch of questions, everybody wants to see it, I’m expected to invite people for drinks ...” He wrinkled his nose a bit playfully and waved a hand, then smirked over at her. “Only a privileged few get to know how I’m really doing.”
It was funny how all of those memories of her time with Tuck had been buried so deeply and yet, when they resurfaced like they were doing right now, she could remember every minute detail. That was the power of first love, she supposed. "I am trying to picture you on a boat, hosting a bunch of our old classmates and handing them champagne. It's a bit of a ridiculous mental image," she admitted with a laugh. Tuck had never been an overly social person in high school, not like Brianna. That may have changed, of course. Now that he had money, maybe he had a large group of friends and attended fancy events and had a widespread network of people he knew. Or maybe he chose solitude and socialized only when he wanted to. These were things Brianna wanted to know, as insignificant as they may seem. "I don't think you ever told me what you're doing now. I remember you said independently wealthy, but that doesn't really reveal much."
Tuck knew a hell of a lot of people now, but he still didn’t have what he would call a close circle of friends. He traveled a lot, he could enjoy parties and working a room with charm, and there were a few select people he kept in touch with, but his lifestyle didn’t really lend itself to being a social butterfly. Tuck was fine with that, for the most part. It just got lonely sometimes to not really be known ... which meant that his first impulse probably shouldn’t have been to lie to Brianna about what he did for a living. It was just force of habit, an avoidance of judgment. But he didn’t really want to lie to her, he wanted to be seen and understood. “I’m a professional gambler, actually,” Tuck said, looking over with a bemused expression to watch her face. “Poker and sports betting, mostly ... I’ve got a knack for it.” it was much more than that -- Tuck could see the probabilities, spinning out like gossamer webs through time, the thickest and strongest strands always leading him in the right direction. He didn’t fully understand it, he just knew it worked.
A gambler. She recalled Tuck mentioning that years ago on the phone. But she hadn't realized that he'd made a real career out of it. Was he like those poker players on television? Slouched down in their chairs with their hoodies and sunglasses. It was an amusing visual but Brianna had a hard time imagining Tuck that way. Even so, she couldn't help but give him a slightly skeptical look as she unlocked her car doors for them. "You were able to buy a boat from playing poker and betting on sports? You must be the luckiest man alive." What was the saying... the house always wins? Maybe he had the ability to count cards. Or maybe there was some kind of unexplainable ability he didn't know about - or did know about. Brianna was curious but she didn't want to put him off by asking questions.
“It’s a little more than luck,” Tuck said, responding to that look with a faint smile. It was difficult to explain what he could do, especially considering he’d only told a couple of other people in his life, one of whom was his mother. He knew what it felt like, but he didn’t know how it worked or why he could do it, or any of the follow up questions those few people had always had. Tuck had no answers, he just had the proof that it worked, all stored up in his bank account. And plenty of investments now, of course. He climbed into the passenger seat of Brianna’s car, glancing around as he did, though he wasn’t sure for what. Evidence of her life? A picture of her husband? Was it normal to still be this interested in someone from so far in his past? “Are you still in the real estate game?” he asked casually.
Brianna supposed he was right. Being that good at cards and investments likely meant he had real skill. Either way, she found she was proud of him. Tuck had always been smart and had potential and she doubted he would have been this successful if he had stayed here in town after high school. Brianna started up the car and felt her heart beating hard again. The prospect of being alone with Tuck in a more private setting was somehow both exhilarating and nerve wracking. Being in such close quarters with him now made Brianna more acutely aware of his presence. His height and his muscle and the way he smelled. She wanted to keep glancing at his profile as she drove, but Brianna somehow managed to keep her eyes on the road. "I am," she said, a small quirk to her lips. "I've closed on a couple houses recently but the real estate game in a small town like this isn't as profitable as I would like for it to be. Thankfully I don't have much competition." There were maybe two other real estate agents but people knew if they wanted the best, they came to her. "I've considered changing careers, but I'm not sure yet. I'm good at what I do, it's just not very fulfilling."
A lot of people would probably say that he’d wasted his smarts -- Tuck had always been a whiz at math, but he hadn’t put it to any scientific use. His dad had really wanted him to become an engineer, but when he’d looked into it during his few college years, it had all sounded painfully boring to him. Learning to play poker at his frat house had lit a fire in him that nothing else had, and after cleaning up at a few amateur tournaments, he’d decided to turn it into a career. Tuck had learned as much as he could about the gambling trade, and he made sure to ‘lose’ often enough not to arouse suspicion at the various casinos he rolled through. Handling the money from a few big wins was even more important, and Tuck’s power worked on the stock market probabilities too, and now he was set for life. None of that was very sexy conversation though, and he found himself much more focused on Brianna at the moment. He could smell her even more in the enclosed space, and he felt the itch in his palm to reach over and rest it on her thigh. “I don’t doubt you’re good at it, you could charm an Eskimo into buying ice,” Tuck said with a smirk. “But what do you think would fulfill you more?”
She chuckled at the analogy, though he was right. Brianna knew she was attractive and knowledgeable. And her last name was McCarthy. It may not hold as much weight as D'Onofrio, but it was damn close. She could be sociable and charming when she wanted or needed to be... make anyone feel like they're the most important person in the world to her in order to sell them a house. It was just getting harder to fake that kind of stuff. Like so many other things, selling homes seemed so insignificant now. Brianna drove toward the marina, glancing briefly at Tuck. "That's the million dollar question, isn't it? I have no idea what fulfilling means anymore. I keep thinking the answer will present itself to me, but it hasn't yet. Sometimes it's hard to start over when you're my age."
“Our age,” Tuck reminded her, giving an amused huff. “It might be hard, but it’s possible. You’ve just gotta explore enough to find what suits you.” He knew that was difficult to do in a small town, saddled with kids, but they would all be off to their own lives soon enough and then Brianna would be free to shape the rest of her life how she wanted it. Tuck wanted that for her, and he wondered if her husband did too. “You deserve that, you know. Being fulfilled.” He didn’t know if anyone had told her that recently or ever, but it was true. The years may have changed them in all sorts of ways, and he didn’t know what kind of experiences Brianna had in her past, but he still felt sure she was a worthy person. “Not that I got any real answers, shit,” he added with a chuckle. Tuck propped one elbow up on the car window ledge and carded his fingers through his dark hair. “Nor are you asking. So. Just saying.”
She knew it was possible. It was just hard to imagine. Divorce was constantly on her mind, but she couldn't afford to stay in their home on her salary, and she still had children to take care of in various ways. What if she and James divorced and she got nothing from the dissolution of their marriage? What if she couldn't find a job she was skilled at? It was all so overwhelming to think about that most of the time, she let it be a fleeting fancy before reality took over. "I wasn't asking," Brianna said simply before glancing at him again, her tone softening, "but I appreciate you saying so. I just think it's hard to make significant changes when life gets to be a certain amount of comfortable. It's cliched, but change is scary. Are you fulfilled? Beyond your bank account and freedom, I mean."
It sounded like a thing people said, but Tucker didn’t have much direct experience with living a comfortable life. Sure, he lived in a certain amount of luxury, but he’d never really fallen into a nailed down daily routine that became a comfortable rut. Not having a family probably factored into that, and living a lifestyle that mostly happened at night and in casinos. “Fulfilled? Probably not, not really,” he answered, gazing over at her while she drove. “I don’t think many people are, really. Not like my work helps the homeless or any shit like that. I donate here and there, but ...” Tuck shrugged. “Not even sure what that would mean to me specifically.” He got the impression ‘fulfillment’ was different for everyone. Some people got it from church or family, some from charity, some from their own selfishness. Tuck had often gotten the feeling something was missing, so no, he didn’t feel fulfilled.
Brianna didn't know why but hearing that Tuck wasn't completely fulfilled made her feel slightly better about her own situation. Of course, he had the bank account and freedom and no obligations to family. But maybe he was missing that something in his life just as she was. "Well, it's nice to see we still have something in common," she pointed out with a faint smile. Then she huffed and shook her head. "God, let's steer clear of these depressing topics, okay? Fulfillment, happiness... life is life, I guess. I want you to tell me some of the more exciting things you've been up to. Tell me something you did that no one else knows about."
It was kind of like them to go straight for the heavy stuff though, wasn’t it? Tuck had fond memories of the two of them having deep discussions as teenagers -- as deep as they could get at that age, at least. It was one of the things he’d loved so much about her, she wasn’t as vapid and brainless as a lot of the other girls seemed to be. They had definitely had more optimism between them back then, though. Most teenagers did, he supposed. “Life is definitely life,” Tuck agreed with a low chuckle. He clucked his tongue thoughtfully as he pondered her demand, sorting through all of the things he’d done that fit that description. Considering he kept his life and movements so private, there was a lot to choose from. “I went swimming with dolphins and sharks in the Maldives,” he offered, cocking a brow at her.
With Tuck, Brianna wasn't opposed to deeper discussion. But she wanted to avoid talking about her unhappiness. Not that she thought Tuck would outwardly gloat about her failing marriage, but Brianna hated feeling like a failure, at least in front of Tuck. She had plenty to be happy about, obviously, but things hadn't exactly worked out the way she had thought they would at this point in her life. And Tuck's life still sounded incredible, complete fulfillment or not. "That sounds amazing," she said with an easier smile. "The dolphins part. I'm not sure I'm brave enough to swim with sharks. You've traveled all the way to South Asia? That's impressive too. Where is somewhere you haven't been yet that you would like to go?"
It wasn’t exactly some secret he’d been trying to keep, like Brianna might have actually been prodding for, but Tuck hadn’t really talked to anyone about that trip ... or quite a few others he’d taken. He wasn’t into social media, so while he took plenty of pictures on his travels, he didn't feel the need to post them anywhere. He’d been to a lot of places, seen a ton of things he never thought he would, and he often got caught between feeling like sharing that publicly was performative and weird, and feeling some emptiness that he was doing it all alone. Tuck could very easily picture Brianna on a beach in Bali, the wind in her red hair and not a care in the world. Would that be fulfilling for either of them? Both of them? She was married so it was just a fantasy, but Tuck tried to hang onto the image in his head anyway. “Hmm ... I haven’t been to Japan yet,” he said. “I’ve always wanted to go. I’d like to see Tibet ... more of South America. Where would you most like to go?”
Brianna had plenty of fantasies of the path her life could have taken, or could take, but it was difficult to imagine them as a reality. Fantasies were just that... fantasies. Turning down Main Street, Brianna wondered just how small Point Pleasant felt to Tuck now. It seemed as though he had seen a lot of the world - or had the means to do so. A tiny town in Maine was likely incredibly boring. "Oh, I don't know," she started, in response to his question. "My first instinct is to say Paris or Rome, but I think those are probably cliched answers? They've just always looked so beautiful and romantic in pictures and movies I've seen. I would go and just eat and sightsee all day, like a typical American tourist." They were nearing the marina and Brianna began to look for a place to park, a small part of her brain also searching the area to make sure she didn't see Bash's car anywhere. "Maybe once Phee starts college I'll have the means to finally go."
“Hey, there’s a reason they’re so popular,” Tuck said with another soft chuckle. He had seen quite a bit of Rome, but only passed through Paris on his way elsewhere. Exploring it with Brianna sounded far more appealing to him at the moment than it probably ought to. It was one of the most romantic cities in the world, maybe that was part of why he hadn’t spent much time there. “I doubt you’d be rude enough to be a typical American tourist,” he added, a bit of amusement in his tone. “Vacations are all about eating and sightseeing. You should go somewhere sooner than that. Even if it’s not to Rome. When’s the last time you took a trip?” It had probably been some family vacation scenario, all of them going to Disney or something. Tuck already wanted to take her somewhere else, somewhere adult and just for her. Once she had parked the car, he reached for the door to pop it open.
Brianna turned off the car and slipped out, trying to remember the last time they had taken a trip as a family. "I... went to Minneapolis last summer for a realtor seminar," she said, smiling as she rounded the car to join Tuck. "Before that, when we took Trip to college in California. Um, if you mean for leisure? It's been a couple of years. We went to Vail. The kids are at an age now where they're not exactly thrilled at the prospect of going on a family vacation." And Brianna couldn't really remember the last time she and James went somewhere together alone, but the less she talked about James, the better. "So which boat is yours?"
Minneapolis didn’t count as a vacation in Tuck’s mind, especially for a work trip. He didn’t know who Trip was, but it was easy enough to assume it was one of her kids, because why else would she be escorting them to college? He didn’t have children, but he had to assume family vacations were not the same as the types of trips he liked to take ... and he suspected Brianna would enjoy as well. Especially if she’d never really gotten to take them. “This way,” Tuck murmured, nodding his head in the direction of his floating home. He led her that way, the itch back in his palm to take her hand. It wasn’t a long walk, and soon enough they were approaching the slip with his boat in it. It was modest by yacht standards, but had more than enough room for him to live comfortably for months at a time. As they approached the ramp up to the deck, he did offer Brianna his arm to escort her up. “This is it, home sweet home, for now.”