Re: Sage & Jasper (early in the party)
Jasper was pretty sure that people didn’t invite fuckbuddies they didn’t care about to attend weddings with them, but what did he really know? Marsh looked like a put-together guy at first glance, but they were at an event where everybody was dressed up. Sage knew better than he did. “Man, fuck leagues, just like norms,” Jasper said as he took another swallow of his drink. The alcohol burned in just the right way, reassuring him that he was on his way to numbness. “If you like him and he likes you, who gives a shit.” Maybe that was easy to say, but he did have a bit of experience with it, being with Jules. They were definitely from different sides of the tracks, so to speak. “Nothing about you is slumming it.” Sage was a good looking guy who seemed like a good person under all the trauma, and Jasper wanted the best for him, for all of them. They fucking deserved it, there was no question about that.
“You sound like my friends,” Sage smiled, and maybe that was a sign that he should listen and stop worrying so much. Even if they had nothing in common, they probably had just as much a chance of success as any other couple. If it was anyone but himself, he’d have said the age difference, the social status, and the baggage or lack thereof was no big deal. He just needed to accept that this applied to him as well. “Sometimes it’s just hard to be normal, you know? Not that normal has ever been my goal, but I think I was aiming for edgy, not this,” he said with a little laugh. ‘This’ was fucked up, traumatized, a basketcase. “So, what’re you doing now? Done with school and all that?” He vaguely recalled that Jasper had missed a good portion of his senior year. Funny how spring of their senior years had been shit for both of them. It was one of those things they had in common that he wouldn’t wish on anyone.
Jasper couldn’t help but chuckle at the ‘edgy’ comment, and he related harder to the rest of what Sage said than he could really describe. He hadn’t felt Normal for more than a handful of moments at a time since they’d been back. It definitely wasn’t his default state anymore, and sometimes he barely even felt human. ’This’ definitely sucked ass. “Nah school’s ... over, for me,” he admitted with a shrug that didn’t feel as casual as he wanted it to be. He had always struggled academically, but he’d been on track to graduate, and he hadn’t fully processed yet that he was a high school dropout now. “I’m working at Fox’s mechanic shop, doing oil changes and stuff. Still living in my dad’s girlfriend’s basement, but thinking about getting my own place with my best friend. Just, y’know, need some money.” Jasper paused, gnawing on his bottom lip and glancing around before his eyes came back to Sage. “Are you ... doing okay?” he asked, his voice dropping a little. “Like, for real. ‘Cause I’m not.”
Sage guessed it had to be frustrating to get so close to graduating and then have it not happen, but he also knew that Jasper was a survivor and a high school degree wasn’t going to stop him. If he really wanted it, he’d get it. If not, he’d find a way to get by without one. “You can make decent money working on cars. I’m sure you’ll be out of the basement soon enough,” Sage said, his smile small but encouraging. There was no rush, in his opinion, but he understood the desire for independence. Being back home had been stifling; he loved his parents, but he was glad to be out. It didn’t mean he was okay though. “No, not really,” he said with a little shake of his head. “I have good moments. Sometimes they last hours. People help. Keeping busy helps. But… every day’s hard.” He hated admitting it and probably wouldn’t have, but he thought Jasper would understand if he was there himself. “I keep thinking it’ll get better. It did last time. But that… wasn’t really the same. And it never really went away either.”