Jared Gaines (thatbigguy) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2023-10-21 22:56:00 |
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Entry tags: | #july 2018, jared, jared x ty, ty |
Who: Jared and Ty
When: Late night, Wednesday, July 18 and into the night
Where: Home, Castle View
He was a predator, full of power. Ty was moving down the hallway of a house he didn’t really recognize, more gliding than walking, a singular purpose in mind. Everything was shadows and dark, and he felt so alive and part of everything. There was nothing to fear in the darkness for him -- he was what should be feared. There was no one awake to fear him when he turned and slid into a room however, only a steady deep breathing coming from the figure on the bed. It was a familiar body putting out familiar breaths, but Ty hardly registered that as he glided in closer. It was almost as though he didn’t have his own body, he’d left it behind, and he was just a floating purpose, a spirit on a mission.
He was hungry, and it was time to feed. Ty reached down with hands that both were and weren’t there, covering Jared’s eyes with one and his mouth and nose with the other. He focused his will and started to pull the life force out of the sleeping man. A vibration began to run up Ty’s arms, starting as a tingle before it grew and built until it was a steady buzz. The energy that filled Ty was electric, almost erotic in the way it permeated every inch of him with a glowing ache, a hunger for more. He fed and fed and fed, pulling all of Jared’s life energy into himself. It didn’t matter who he was or what they had, all that mattered was pouring the white-gold life force into the empty hole inside of him.
Ty shuddered and moaned as the big body in the bed trembled weakly, all of the bulk and strength draining away. He watched as it deflated under the sheet, muscles atrophying and withering away until Jared was nothing but a long, flesh-covered skeleton. The hole wasn’t full though, and Ty was still hungry. Without a second thought he began pulling at Jared’s skin, tearing chunks of it away easily. He shoved the still-warm flesh into his mouth, animal greed humming inside of him like a second heartbeat. He chewed and gorged himself, blood running down his chin and splashing on his bare chest, teeth flashing red and white and his nails digging in as he pulled off more and more and more to eat --
The real Ty woke up with a start, scrambling to sit up, a short cry caught in his throat as his heart tried to thud its way out of his chest. For a second he was disoriented, still able to taste the copper of the blood in his mouth and feel skin popping under his fingernails. One hand shot out and touched the solid warmth of his husband next to him, but Ty’s first instinct was to flinch back, like he might hurt Jared just by touching him.
Jared wasn't a light or a deep sleeper by default but he could sleep through all sorts of noises when he wanted to. A party next door? No problem. Dog barking all night? Slight problem but not impossible to overcome. He didn't wake up easily when Ty got out of bed early in the morning and rummaged around the room. Hell, he could probably vacuum if he wanted and Jared would sleep through it. Those were safe sounds, they didn't require him to wake up. A startled cry in the middle of the night - especially one followed by physical contact, however brief - was a reason to awaken and he did so, startled, fumbling for Ty in the dark. "What?" he croaked, his brain immediately going over where he'd left his gun, where the ammo was, how fast he could unite the two and be awake enough to fight off anything that might be dangerous in there. That took about a second, and then it took another second to realize it probably wasn't anything that drastic. "You okay?" he whispered, sitting up slowly, still scanning the dark room for any sign of danger. The bedroom door was closed, everything was still and quiet except his husband.
Jared’s voice almost made Ty cry out again, but then it clicked that he couldn’t talk if he was dead. So he must be okay. It had just been a dream. “Jesus Christ,” Ty murmured, shifting to sit up straighter. He pulled his knees up and propped his elbows against them, rubbing at his eyes. “No, yeah, sorry, it’s ... just a bad dream.” It definitely wasn’t the first nightmare he’d ever had that woke the both of them up, but god, this one had been bad. Ty’s voice was still shaky, and he felt clammy with cold sweat, his heart thudding sickly in his chest. He’d dreamed about not being in control again, being influenced by that dark malevolent force that had made him not care about draining the life force from Jared, but he couldn’t remember ever having one quite that sick. Was he getting worse? Ty’s throat and chest felt tight.
Jared was never going to get used to the nightmares, how could he? But he was as close as he could come so he moved, almost with muscle memory, turning on the small lamp on his nightstand with the softest light, then shuffled closer to Ty, cupping his face gently in his hands. "Just a bad dream," he echoed soothingly. "You're awake now and I won't let anything bad happen to you." Not again, not ever again. He couldn't remember the last time Ty was this shaken up from a nightmare, he was literally shaking and Jared felt the urge to go make him some tea or something, but he didn't want to leave him alone so either they went together, or not at all. "God, you're shaking..."
Ty squinted against the light to make sure that the face it revealed wasn’t sunken and hollow and dead. Maybe because he was still dreaming, maybe because reality could turn nightmarish in the blink of an eye, he knew that now. But it was just Jared’s normal face, warm and handsome and concerned. The gentle way he handled Ty made that lump in his throat feel impossible to swallow down. He twisted and ducked his head, wrapping one arm around Jared as he buried his face into his shoulder. He tried to breathe through the urge to cry, reminding himself that he’d been infected with something back then, he could never hurt Jared now. Right? It was over, it had to be over.
He might not be outright crying but Jared could feel it bubbling underneath the surface, maybe from the way he was breathing, or from some subtle twitch in his face before he buried it against his chest. "Jesus," he whispered a bit worriedly but there was still warmth in his voice and he wound his strong arms around Ty, rubbing gently at his back. "Sounds like a bad one." Ty felt cold and Jared wanted to wrap him up in something soft, rub heat back into his body and get him all dry and warm again. "You're okay, baby," he murmured, rocking Ty just a touch. "I got you."
Would he be so sweet and loving with Ty if he knew what he’d been dreaming about? Would Jared feel any fear toward him again? What if this was a sign that he was backsliding, or that there was still something growing inside of him from that wretched place? What if Ty started to lose control of himself again, got back to that dead-hearted space where he didn’t give a shit about anyone? He clutched at his husband, his nose and eyes stinging, and tried to take the comfort instead of spiraling out about it, but it was so hard. He hadn’t seen any of it coming the first time, what if all the signs something was wrong got by him again? “Yeah,” he managed to force out. “It was bad. But ... I love you, okay? Just know that.”
That was a troubling thing to say and Jared frowned a bit in concern. "I know that," he promised. "And I love you too." Had he been in Ty's dream? Did he want to know? Dreams could be such bastards, he'd woken up angry after having an argument in a dream about something so ridiculous but it had still taken him a while to cool down. Afraid after a nightmare or sometimes just immeasurably sad. He knew it would grind on a man's nerves for days after, if the dream was bad enough. "Do you wanna put a dry shirt on and come to the kitchen with me for a little bit?" he asked. "You seem cold." He was doing his best to warm him up but while he was a big man, there was only so much of him to go around and Ty wasn't a small person either.
Ty felt wide awake now, even though his body was still tired, and leaving the bedroom sounded far better than trying to go back to sleep. If they could do something normal, something comforting, get a snack and turn on the TV or something maybe that tension inside of him would relax a little bit. “Yeah ... yeah let’s do that,” Ty murmured, rubbing at Jared’s bare skin for a second before he pulled away. He crawled out of bed and shuffled over to the dresser to pull out a t-shirt and a pair of lounge pants. Ty was cold, and it just felt instinctual to want to be covered. He was grateful that Jared had turned the light on, because the shadows in the hallway gave him an unsettled feeling, like there might be another version of him lurking somewhere, waiting to drain the life force out of them both.
Jared's clothes were within reach and he pulled them on while trying to hide how sluggish he felt. There was no way he was going back to bed before Ty felt better and he didn't need his husband fretting about waking him up. He should always wake him up when he needed him and Jared didn't want to encourage him not to. "I'll make us some tea," he murmured as he tugged his joggers on, then headed out to the hallway, turning on the lights as he went. "You wanna talk about it or try to forget about it?" he asked, draping his arm over Ty's shoulders when he joined him so they could walk together to the kitchen.
The weight of Jared’s arm was comforting, and Ty slipped his own around his man’s waist. The cool laminate under his feet felt grounding as they stepped into the kitchen, and Ty gave Jared a squeeze before he released him so he could work. “Forget about it,” he answered with a sigh, though Ty didn’t think he would actually manage that anytime soon. He’d had similar nightmares that had lingered for days and weeks, this one had just been particularly vivid and unsettling. Ty went to sit down at the kitchen table and rubbed his hands over his face. “It was another one where I was like ... infected again,” he said, because talking about it usually helped, even if he skipped the details. And Ty really wanted to skip the details.
Jared knew damn well those were the worst ones and he gave Ty a sympathetic grimace and a kiss before going to fill up the kettle. "I hope one day we'll have left that far enough behind us that any dreams about it will just feel silly," he murmured but he feared that day might never come. Ty had hurt him, the nightmare had been very real for the both of them and while he knew that hadn't been Ty himself, he knew Ty still hadn't fully forgiven himself for it. That was frustrating even if it was understandable and Jared worried it would always burden his husband far more than it burdened him. It was easy for Jared to forgive and forget because he hadn't been the one doing the hurting. "Like those nightmares when you're a kid. I don't remember any of mine, not really."
Ty doubted that anything about that horrible time in their lives would ever feel silly ... but he did hope that its power faded after a while. Even if it was years down the line in the future, he just someday wanted to be free of this dark pressure and worry. “I remember a few, mostly about going to hell for being gay,” he said as he watched his big handsome husband move around the kitchen. It was comforting, being cared for, like when his mom used to make him soup and grilled cheese when he was sick. He found it was even more comforting to be cared for by someone who hadn’t contributed to those nightmares about going to hell, and Ty felt a wave of gratitude that Jared had accepted him back into his life when he’d returned from the fog. “It’ll fade,” he added after a moment, trying to stay positive. “It’s just ... taking some time.”
"I know," Jared said gently and joined him at the table while he waited for the water to boil. "Using religion in that way is so damn damaging, like there isn't enough evil in the world without scaring little kids like that." He shook his head and reached for Ty's hand, cupping it in both of his. It wasn't fair that after all that, Ty had gone to hell - or a hell - and not just figuratively either. Jared knew plenty of people would latch onto that and say they'd told him so but bad things happened to good people all the time and nobody cared to explain that. Plenty of bad people got nothing bad coming to them at all, where was that righteous justice those people believed in? "I'm going to love you and coddle you and smother you in care until all that darkness realizes there's no space for it here."
Sometimes Ty’s thoughts got all tangled up, wondering how the versions of heaven and hell he’d grown up with connected to the fact that alternate dimensions were actually real. It all felt too huge and complicated for him to figure out, and trying to make it all make sense seemed fruitless. All Ty knew for sure was that he was so happy to be alive and back in his world, with his man. If he had actually died over there and this was some kind of heaven, he didn’t even want to know. Ty pulled Jared’s hands up to kiss the backs of them, those big knuckles and thick fingers he loved so much. “Don’t threaten me with a good time,” he murmured, giving a faint, grateful smile. Ty squeezed his hand. “I love you back. More than words can touch.”
Those little kisses were so gentle and such a pure display of love, it always got to Jared when Ty kissed him like this - on his hands or his forehead. There was so much love in it and he wanted to return it to Ty multiple times over. "I like threatening you with a good time," he said cheekily, his eyes crinkling for a moment. "And it's easy 'cause we've got so many good times coming our way." He didn't know that for sure, had his own anxieties about moving into a house he knew very little about, especially after what happened at the Rogan house. He could still fake it for Ty, look certain and strong when Ty needed him to be. "We'll have our own house soon," he reminded him. "Ours together, to do whatever we want with."
Ty knew on some level that they should be cautious about the house. Point Pleasant was full of ghosts and other awful unexplained shit, and if that kind of thing was tied to locations, the probability that there was something supernaturally wrong with their new home was significant. Every time Ty tried to think about it rationally though, his mind kind of shut down. He couldn’t deal with anything else, anything worse than what he’d already been through. So the house had to be okay, and if it wasn’t, they would make it okay somehow. Because this life together was going to work, and they were going to be happy, goddammit. “Damn right,” he answered Jared, giving him a little grin. “And we’ll do a lot with it and it’ll end up perfect for us. Anywhere would be perfect with you, but ... yeah, I can’t wait.”
"Can't wait to sit outside and watch the fire with you again," Jared said and yes it was probably obvious he was trying to distract Ty from his nightmares but he didn't think it was unwelcome at all. "God, I remember when we first kissed." He'd been so clueless but everything had worked out so well for them - for a while at least - and he hadn't made a total blunder of his first gay experience. "Even before I knew how much I loved you, I always felt so safe with you. You've always been my partner in so many ways." He was going to miss having Ty around when he went back to work, but at the same time he didn't want this job for him. Maybe he wouldn't last in it himself, but he found it hard to imagine leaving, not when he knew how understaffed and difficult it was for everyone. That said, maybe being a cop wasn't the best choice for him, not in this town. Maybe if they moved somewhere else. Anything else really. But no, they were buying a house here. That probably meant they were insane.
It was the best possible way to distract Ty and his gratitude was easy to see in his smile. He loved that Jared made it sound like their love had been a discovery of something already there. It made him feel so validated in the huge crush he’d had on Deputy Gaines for so long. And considering their line of work, they understood what feeling safe together meant more than most people. “I was so fucking nervous,” he said with a soft laugh. “But god, I wanted to kiss you so bad. You look so damn good in firelight.” Ty grinned at him a bit, toying with his fingers some more. It had never been just Jared’s looks, of course. “It was always so easy to trust you, and I knew you had my back. Just like now.” He leaned in to steal a kiss, lingering in it for a moment.
Jared was very much a serial monogamist, he didn't really do one night stands so he didn't really do rebound sex. He'd had warm feelings for Ty as a friend back when he was loyal to Sadie and during his recovery period after their divorce. When he was good and ready and done with his grieving, those feelings had deepened and soon become flames. It had been so cautious at the time but as soon as he felt he had permission to feel what he felt, it had gotten completely out of control and he was so happy it had now. "I'll always have your back," he said. "No matter what." He couldn't imagine a scenario where he'd change his mind about that, he loved his man too damn much to give him up, no matter what became of them.
The course of their relationship had surprised and delighted Ty at almost every turn, and it had become more than he could have ever imagined. It was hard to believe that less than a year ago they’d only been friends and work partners, and now they were married and buying a house together. Ty had been gone for a good chunk of that year too, but none of this felt rushed or wrong. Maybe they were crazy for it, but he knew Jared felt the same. This was it, for both of them. The kettle began to whistle and Ty nudged his man to go finish making their tea. The love and affirmations had made him feel better, but having that hot mug between his hands soothed him even further. Before Jared could sit at the kitchen table, Ty pushed his chair back and stood up. “Couch?” he suggested. It was easier to cuddle there, and he wanted to stay physically close to Jared. Maybe they could doze off again together too. Ty was glad he didn’t have an opening shift the next day.
"Definitely," Jared agreed, resting his hand on the small of Ty's back as they headed to the living room. While he hated the fact Ty had a nightmare, he couldn't help but love the opportunity to take care of him after that, setting his tea down on the coffee table before fetching some blankets for them to cuddle under. Ty really didn't have to do anything but sit down and then Jared was there, shuffling around to get them both comfortable cuddled together with his tea within reach. "Feels a little weird to be up at this hour and not be working," he admitted with a faint smile. They'd been keeping some very healthy hours while he was away from work and he just knew he was going to miss that when he went back.
It was hard to believe that he’d just had a horrific nightmare, Ty felt so safe and cozy. Jared made him feel so secure, what could he possibly have to fear? He knew that wasn’t reality though -- his man couldn’t protect him from a lot of things. Or vice versa. That was true for everyone, but not everyone lived in such a cursed place. It just meant they had to make the most of the time they had before the next fucked up thing happened. It could be days or decades, but Ty knew it would come. “You got that right,” Ty murmured back, giving an amused little huff. He reached for his tea and took a sip, then leaned back against Jared. “Have you set a return date with Grady yet?” he asked after another pause. Ty tilted his head a bit to glance at Jared’s profile. He had a bunch of mixed feelings about Jared going back to work, almost as many as he went through thinking about his own career.
The last thing Jared wanted to talk about was work but he also didn't want to avoid replying to Ty's question. "I'm thinking the sixth of August," he said. "We haven't really nailed it down though." He wanted to take a longer 'vacation', have more time to work on the house but his funds weren't bottomless and he wanted to have a safety fund for the future as well so going to work was the only sensible thing to do. It had occurred to him to get a different kind of a job, but some part of him felt like he owed Grady for all he'd done for him and in all honesty, he'd feel weird not being a cop anymore. It was such a big part of his identity, for better or worse. "That'll still give us over a week to work on the house," he added since that was a far nicer topic. They really needed to cling to the fun things in their life - even if they too were hard.
It sounded so soon and so far away at the same time. The sixth of August was only a few more weeks. Ty knew that Jared couldn’t stay unemployed forever, both of them needed to be bringing in an income, and he was only working part time at the vet’s so far. Ty still wasn’t sure if that would be a permanent job or if he would get his shit together enough to work elsewhere for more money at some point ... he was still fairly certain he didn’t want to be a cop again, though. Not in this town. He understood the draw back to it for Jared though, and Ty wanted to support him no matter what he did. “Yeah,” he agreed. “At least it’s not a big fixer-upper. We can get stuff done here and there, and I’ll be there more than you ...” He was kind of looking forward to the projects they would have to do together, making the house their home. But he was also glad that the place would be comfortably live-able before then.
Jared wanted to fix the place up more than it probably needed. The thought of putting work into it and making it his own was appealing, looking at a job well done and knowing he was the one who'd done it. He was looking forward to it even, he'd spent too long now on vacation and it didn't suit him well. He wasn't going to monopolize whatever needed done of course, but he still often felt like the man in the relationship, the one who was supposed to do the heavy lifting. That didn't apply with Ty though, he was strong and capable too. Hell, Sadie hadn't been a little wimp either, but it had still been different. "Oh man, how big are you on decorating in December?" he asked somewhat randomly but he'd had a system with Sadie where she did most of the decorating and he just put up the lights along the rafters.
December was a long way away, so the question made Ty laugh softly, but it was still kind of nice of Jared to ask. “Uh ... not super big on it?” he answered, wrinkling his nose a bit in thought. “Like my mom always used to go all-out for Christmas. But once I moved out, I was always working the holiday, so I didn’t really bother decorating much?” Christmas was pretty closely associated with Christianity in his mind, and Ty definitely wasn’t a believer anymore, but he knew it could be a more expansive holiday if they wanted it to be. He snuggled into Jared a bit harder and smiled. “Do you want to decorate a lot in December? This’ll be our house, our first Christmas as a married couple ... we can set whatever traditions we want, you know?”
"Yeah," Jared replied a bit sheepishly. "There are a few things I always put up, some from the family and some just... dumb things I've bought or received in the last few years. I want to do something fantastic every year, get in shape for... you know, if we have kids." He knew he'd go ballistic decorating if he was a dad, he wanted to make as much magic for his little ones as his parents had made for him because Christmas was constantly a part of some of his best childhood memories. It wasn't a given with Ty of course, but they both wanted to adopt and that was definitely something they were going to look into doing. "I'm willing to compromise though," he added cheekily since some of his ideas were probably over the top and he didn't want to force Ty into all that.
Even though it had never really been his thing, Ty could instantly see what it meant to Jared and that made his insides all warm. It made him want to go all out, to get to see how happy it made his man. “Then that’s what we’ll do,” Ty told him, affection in his eyes as he smiled. “Lights and a tree and the whole bit.” He definitely hoped there were children in their future, he wanted to learn from his father’s mistakes and do better, to give some kid a family who needed it, and fill them with the same sorts of good memories that Jared clearly had. “What kind of ‘fantastic’ were you thinking though?” he asked with some amusement. “Like, blow up snowmen and Santa’s sleigh on the roof kind of stuff?”
"Hell yeah," Jared said with a little laugh and it was definitely too early to be talking Christmas in July, but they needed something light and happy to focus on. "Big fat Santa on the roof, all the reindeer dragging the sleigh, Rudolph up front with a big red nose lighting up the whole damn block. Cover the lawn with Santa's little helpers." He could just picture how kitsch it would all be and in his mind it was hilarious. Not what he would be going for but it was funny to talk about. "Blinking lights everywhere." He snuggled Ty as he talked, tittering in his ear. "Don't worry, we'll make space for whatever you might wanna put up too."
Ty groaned at all the cheesiness, though he was snickering too. Jared painted a picture of the most obnoxious Christmas house on the block, and while it offended Ty’s sense of style, he couldn’t hate on it in the moment. He was pretty sure Jared was mostly joking, but he supposed they would find out when they got to Christmas. “So all that’s outside ... what about inside?” he asked, half-grinning. It might make him cringe, but he wanted to hear more about Jared’s vision for their future home. “Am I going to be swimming through garlands just to get to the kitchen or what?”
"Swimming, yes," Jared chuckled. "Garlands on every wall, wreaths on every door, a giganormous tree and one of those tiny villages you can collect houses for and decorate; it'll dominate the coffee table. We might have to sleep somewhere else, come to think of it. Tinsel everywhere." He kept remembering new things, laughing as he went on. "Oh! Oh! And fake snow to match the outside snow. You'll be tripping over Christmas when you're not swimming through it." He might be absolutely hyperbolic at the moment but it felt good to hear Ty laugh after seeing the sheer terror on his face earlier and he snuggled against him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I'll wear a Santa suit every day for you."
He had Ty laughing too, picturing a house where Christmas had just thrown up over everything. He knew they weren’t being literal, but it was hilarious, and he’d needed to laugh. Jared never failed to make him feel better. “That’s hot,” he said, grinning so hard his cheeks hurt. “Maybe we should’ve gotten married in December, so you could’ve had a red and white suit.” Ty tittered again as he pictured it. He took another sip of tea before setting it down and nuzzling his face against Jared’s, giving him a few smooches back. “Whatever you want, baby, we’ll do it. Even if it makes the neighbors come and gawk at us.”
"Let them come!" Jared said, feigning a booming voice in an apartment appropriate way before laughing again. "Let them gawk." He felt accomplished now, Ty seemed far more relaxed and he was laughing, that was a win. "You'll love the attention," he murmured. "I'll dress you up in a sexy Santa suit too. Now I can't wait for Christmas." Funny thing to say in July, but maybe a faraway fantasy was just what they needed. "God you look hot in red. Better than me for sure." He smooched on Ty some more but now that they were relaxing again he could feel how sleepy he really was. At least he wasn't waking up for work, that was a consolation.
“Damn right I look good in red,” Ty murmured with a cocky smirk. “Now I’m gonna have to get a hot Santa outfit together, just for you.” Nobody looked great in a full-on Santa outfit, but Ty had seen some sexy iterations of it, and he could picture himself lounging under the Christmas tree in red velvet pants and a lush open robe or something. With a hat, of course. Ty snuggled in a bit deeper and stifled a yawn. He let out a groan afterward and quietly grumbled, “I don’t wanna go back to bed.” He was so comfortable and engulfed in his man, he didn’t really want to leave the little haven they’d created and go back to where the nightmare had been.
"We don't have to go yet," Jared murmured and he was damn comfortable too. The living room was nice and warm and it felt good to have Ty all snuggled up against him. He reached for his tea for one more sip before setting it aside again, fully committing to just holding onto Ty. "You're not opening tomorrow, right? We're in no rush." He did his best to keep track of Ty's schedule but he had a feeling they'd have to start keeping a little calendar on the fridge when he too started working. Not that his hours were always predictable and Ty had said the vet might call on him in emergencies. There had better not be any tonight though, he wasn't letting his man out of his sight. Hell, he'd go with him if he had to.
“Nah, going in later,” Ty mumbled, the words feeling fuzzy in his mouth. He was so comfortable, and his body was starting to feel nicely heavy and relaxed. Their couch was really damn nice to nap on, even with two overgrown men on it, and since neither of them had any reason to get up early, he saw nothing wrong with some couch-dozing. Maybe they would get up and move later on, maybe not. This kind of thing would be in shorter supply once Jared started working again, so why not take advantage of it while they could? He inhaled deep and gave a soft hum of contentment, already on the edge of dozing off.
Jared felt like he wasn't going to drift off too fast, sleepy yes but not that sleepy, but before he knew it he wasn't on the couch with Ty and didn't even remember being there. It was almost Christmas and he and Ty had just moved into the Rogan house. Was that a good idea? His doubts faded as fast as they surfaced, the house was so nice and Sadie was living with them. Well, not quite living - but she would be soon enough. They had a nice evening together, just him and Ty, drinking some warm and rich alcoholic beverages on the couch until Ty felt drowsy. Then they were in the bath. Jared didn't remember convincing Ty to come there with him, they were just there, in a big tub, Ty playing little spoon to Jared's bigger body, comfortably resting between Jared's legs, head on his chest, arms on his arms. He was dozing and Jared let him. When he looked sleepy enough he nudged him down in the water until his head was covered and Ty woke up with a start. It was too late, Jared had him in a vice grip, gently stroking his hair as Ty choked and sputtered under the water and tried to punch and claw at him.
"It's for Sadie," Jared told him. "She wants to come home for Christmas." Memories of his ex wife surfaced in his mind, her mutilated face smiling crookedly at him and the hopes that she would heal from Ty's death came flooding in over Jared with a sense of peace and... Then terror. Just nothing but sheer terror as he flailed awake, knocking his cup of tea on the floor and startling Ty out of his own slumber.
Ty had slipped into a nice vague dream about looking for something at the grocery store, but he was ripped out of it abruptly by the lurch of Jared’s body. He let out a little yelp that only vaguely sounded like “what?!”, flailing a bit himself as he sat up. It was disorienting for a second, waking up on the couch instead of their bed, but he caught on quick enough that his man was having a nightmare. “Babe -- shit -- you’re okay,” Ty said, reaching for Jared and patting him. God, both of them having bad dreams in one night? That hadn’t happened for a while.
For a few seconds all Jared could think about was the top of Ty's head as his body had gone still, Jared's fingers tangled in his hair while he'd held him down with the rest of his body in a mockery of a lover's embrace. Thankfully it wasn't dark or he thought that image might have lingered even longer but he saw Ty's worried face, alive and dry and it slowly started to sink in that he'd had a nightmare too. He still felt like he was lying on his back in the tub, warm water enveloping him and Ty's body heavy against his torso, but his senses were slowly adjusting to reality. "Jesus," he whispered, realizing he'd spilled tea all over but that just didn't seem very important right now. He cupped Ty's face - beautifully dry - and tried to calm his breathing. "Some bad... bad vibes in the air tonight. What the fuck. Are you okay?"
As soon as he saw the recognition in Jared’s eyes and he was sure he wouldn’t get hit by accident, Ty reached to grip his arms. He nodded quickly and rubbed at Jared’s biceps soothingly, his face etched with concern. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” he assured him. “I’m right here, and I’m fine. Are you? Bad dream?” It obviously had been a nightmare, so it wasn’t a literal question, Ty just wanted to reinforce that it was a dream and Jared was awake now. He didn’t give a shit about the tea either, they’d made bigger messes.
It had been a bad dream but in such a twisted way. Jared had felt good during it, it had all felt so normal and easy. It had been Jared who was bad, not the dream. He was trying to get his head on straight and the touch from Ty helped a little. "Shit, the tea," he mumbled but he really couldn't be bothered to deal with that right now, it was too damn late and his heart was beating in his chest like a raging beast. "Shit." He added but he was focusing on Ty again, looking him over with a pained expression. He'd had horrible dreams where Ty got hurt, where Ty disappeared, where Ty turned bad, but this was a new and unwelcome territory. "Just... just got you to calm down and I freak out myself," he mumbled but it didn't come off light like he wanted it, just small and trembly.
Ty both did and didn’t want to ask for details. He kind of wanted to know what Jared had dreamed about specifically, but he didn’t want to make him dwell on it. He hadn’t offered up the awful details of his own dream either. Some things were just too horrible to talk about, and unfortunately their brains were stuffed with bad memories and terrifying anxieties. “Hey,” he said gently, shifting so he could wrap both arms around his husband. “It’s okay. Bad vibes going around, like you said.” Ty pressed some slow kisses against Jared’s cheek and gave his beard a nuzzle. “You’re all right, it was just a dream,” he murmured, giving his big man a squeeze. Ty urged him to lean against him so he could relax again, though he wasn’t sure now if either of them would sleep again tonight.
Jared couldn't relax, his whole body felt like he was a live wire, bad energy strumming through him and that horrifying image and feel of Ty's wet hair coming back to him in waves. "I can't-" he started. "I have to... walk. I have to move." He felt like there was hardly any air in the room or like he was in a sauna and the air was thick with steam. He wanted to storm out and pace around the parking lot until that nervous tension went away but he didn't want to leave Ty alone or drag him out with him. He couldn't sit still though so he nudged Ty gently to let him up. "I gotta move."
It stung for a split second, but Ty was sympathetic and he didn’t try to hold onto Jared, letting go with a quiet, “okay, yeah.” Damn, it must have been a really bad dream. Once Jared had left the couch, he sat all the way up and brushed the hair off of his forehead, not sure if he was invited to go wherever Jared had to move to. Ty picked up the tea cup to set it back on the coffee table while he watched his husband.
Jared made a beeline for the apartment door before turning on his heel and heading back to Ty. "I'm just - just gonna pace the parking lot," he said and he wasn't really dressed for it but it was the middle of the night in August, it wasn't too cold and he really didn't think he was going to run into any neighbors out there. "Just a few minutes, I just need..." He took a deep breath and still felt like it didn't quite reach his lungs. He needed to clear his head right now and so he gave Ty an apologetic little grimace before turning again and heading for the door. It felt so stupid and he wanted to just shake it off and sit back down but he physically couldn't bring himself to do it. He half hoped Ty would just come with him but at the same time he wasn't sure he wanted to look at him right now.
Had the nightmare involved him? Maybe involved him being fog-possessed again and hurting Jared? It gave Ty a little chill to think that maybe they’d dreamed about the same thing from different sides, but god knew it wouldn’t be the weirdest thing that had happened to them, by far. It was upsetting to think about, though, and he really hoped Jared didn’t want to go pace the parking lot just to get away from him for a little while. “Okay,” Ty repeated quietly, giving a little nod. What else was he going to say? Jared sounded like he needed to be alone, so Ty didn’t make any move to follow him, just waited for the door to close behind him before he sighed and rubbed his face roughly. The couch had seemed so nice and peaceful when they’d dozed off, too. Ty stood up to shuffle to the kitchen for a wet cloth and towel to clean up the spilled tea, feeling bleary now and decidedly not peaceful.
It didn't take long for Jared to calm down once he was outside. He did pace the parking lot, for five-six minutes maybe, and being outside pacing between cars made him feel silly enough to dispel some of the nightmare's hold on him. He mostly worried about the implications now. He knew he wouldn't trade Ty for Sadie, not under any circumstances. He loved Ty, whatever feelings remained for Sadie were fondness and guilt, but in the dream it had felt so real, that he still loved her, that he wanted her back, that he was willing to kill his husband to achieve that. It hadn't even bothered him, remembering her horrifying vision in the Rogan house, he'd known she'd be okay. That hadn't even been her, that he had managed to fully convince himself of, it was a parody designed to terrify him. If Sadie was haunting any house it was the house they'd lived in - where she died. Jared had never seen or felt anything there to indicate that was the case so he believed in his heart she had moved on.
And yet he felt immensely guilty for those thoughts entering his head, even if he had no control over them. He could only imagine how Ty would feel if he knew about it, it might wake up some weird insecurities given that Jared was bisexual, some nonsense about not fulfilling his needs when that really wasn't the case. Jared was as monogamous as they came, he was for all intents and purposes gay now that he was with Ty. These thoughts and about a hundred others swirled through his mind as he made his way back to the apartment, suddenly painfully aware that he was unarmed and underdressed outside in the middle of the night.
He kicked his shoes off and locked the door once he was inside, giving Ty a sheepish look as he approached him. "Did you... clean up the tea? You didn't have to do that, I was gonna..."
Ty had no idea how long Jared planned to stay outside, and he needed to keep busy, so cleaning up just seemed like the natural thing to do. He worried about Jared’s safety a bit, out there in essentially his underwear, but he wasn’t going far and it wasn’t like they’d never left the house after dark before. Both of them had spent years patrolling and doing police work at night. Luckily the door opened again before too long, and Jared came back in unharmed. Ty was just coming out of the kitchen after wringing out the rag, and he gave his man a faint smile. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Feel any better?” Jared still looked shaken and kind of upset, so Ty kept his hands to himself for the moment. Better to give him space than feel him pull away again.
"I feel like a drama queen," Jared admitted and laughed unsteadily. "Getting knocked on my ass by a dream." He sighed and closed the distance between them, slipping his arms around Ty's waist and pulling him in close. The last thing he needed at the moment was space. "Thank you for cleaning up the mess and just... I'm okay, yeah." He had a feeling he'd scared Ty by going outside, but at least they'd communicated about it - he hadn't just stormed out without a word. "Are you okay? Seems like a bad night for sleeping," he murmured and appreciated that Ty hadn't spontaneously decided on a quick shower or something while he was out. He was dry and Jared had a feeling he'd struggle with being around him after a shower for at least a few days.
He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Jared, glad that he wanted to be hugged now. Ty rubbed at his back gently and squeezed him. “Yeah, think I’m done trying for a while,” he murmured back. “Might be my turn again next.” Ty huffed a bit through his nose and pressed a kiss to the side of Jared’s neck. He hadn’t been out there long, but the smell of the outdoors still clung to him a little and it was nice. “I’m okay, yeah, don’t worry about the mess,” he answered more seriously. “Are you okay? Do you wanna talk about it at all?” Sometimes describing a nightmare purged a bit of its power, but if it was too personal it could be too difficult to talk about. If it had been bad enough, Ty wasn’t sure he wanted to hear about it, but he would listen for Jared’s sake.
"Not really," Jared said quietly. "It was just a really, really bad dream." He licked his lips and thought that okay, maybe he could tell Ty partially what had happened, without mentioning Sadie or the role Jared played in the dream. "I lost you," he said quietly. "And those are always the worst dreams." He was more than okay with staying awake for a while, perhaps have a little nap sometime when the sun was up and the night had left with its darkness. "But you're here and you're okay so... I feel better," he added, trying to shake off the weight of it all. "I just never want to lose you again."
Considering the fact that Jared had lost Ty for a while, that wasn’t shocking to hear. Ty had been going through his own nightmare, but he still had plenty of empathy for what Jared had gone through when he disappeared. And prior to, of course, which had been its own horrific time. Ty let out a soft sigh and squeezed Jared tight for a moment. “You won’t,” he murmured. They both knew it wasn’t a promise that could be kept, but he wanted to make it anyway, because he would fight with everything he had to stay with Jared for the rest of his life. “I’ll even be polite and let you die first when we’re wrinkly old men,” he added, aiming for a little lightness.
"That's so sweet," Jared said in a playfully cloying tone and it did make him feel better, faking it until it felt real. His smile came a little easier and he buried his nose against Ty's neck, thinking about what he'd look like when his hair was gray and his face all wrinkled. Jared would love every one of those wrinkles, a testament to their time spent together. He hoped for that anyway and it made him feel better to treat it as fact and not just a distant dream. "We'll be the cutest old couple in Maine," he murmured. "They'll probably do inspirational vines about us, or whatever the hell video things they're doing by then."
Ty laughed a little and brushed his fingers through Jared’s hair. “We’ll be like, in 3D in some kid’s eye implant or something,” he agreed, smiling easier himself. “Puttering around in the garden, telling about how we met, all sweet like. Then yelling at delinquents to get off our lawn.” There were other old man stereotypes, but that one amused him the most for some reason and he snickered. “And still groping each other’s old saggy balls ... not on camera though. But I bet there’s a market for it.” Ty turned his head to kiss on Jared’s temple, his arms tightening around him again. “I love you forever,” he murmured. “And we’re not gonna let anything get in the way of our gross old guy sex, right? Fuck a bunch of bad dreams.”
Jared laughed too because the old man yelling stereotype was a classic for a reason. "Man, I only married you because there was that promise of gross old guy sex in the future," he teased and it felt good to just joke around about the beautiful future they might have. Saggy balls and all. "I don't wanna die before you do though, I say we just die together, real sweet and quiet like in our sleep. I'll be spooning you and after that we'll go have gross old guy ghost sex right in front of someone's salad. 'Cause I love you forever too." He wanted to tell Ty that if he died before him, he wanted Ty to be happy, to move on and find someone else to love, but it felt way too heavy a talk for the occasion and he honestly hoped they'd both be too old and decrepit when the time came to even consider loving on someone else.
The salad bit made Ty giggle even more, and it felt good to laugh together, like it dispelled some of the darkness their heads had spit out tonight. That was what fear did to the brain, he supposed, and they had a lot of it these days. The best antidote to fear was love and laughter though, and lucky they had those in spades. “I knew it, we should’ve put that into our vows,” Ty murmured and smooched on the side of Jared’s face a bit more. “‘In sickness and in health, in tight hard bodies and saggy ballsacks’ ...” He tittered again. Dying together when they were old and asleep sounded perfect to Ty, and he truly hoped that was how it would happen. It was unlikely, but who knew. He patted his big husband’s back and then started to let him go. “Agreed, I’m down to die together in our sleep. Let’s make sure it happens that way.” As if they had any control over it, but Ty could stay optimistic.
"And then gross ghost sex," Jared reminded him. "Ectoplasm everywhere." He caught Ty's hand and gestured to the living room area. "You wanna watch something silly?" Jokes and laughter was the only thing he really felt in the mood for because even if the nightmare was letting go of him, he still couldn't bring himself to get too physical with Ty. Not yet. He needed this night to be over and take the bad dreams with it, then they could move on and forget about them and hopefully never dream shit like that again. He wondered idly what Ty's dream had been about but there was no way he was asking, they were moving out of that particular fog and he found no reason to drag them back in.
‘Ectoplasm’ got another laugh out of him, and Ty squeezed Jared’s hand and nodded. Just sitting together on the couch watching something funny sounded like the perfect antidote to how their night had gone. Or how their dreams had gone, at least, because both of them had done their best to comfort and take care of one another in the aftermath. He kissed his husband’s knuckles as they went back to the couch, not even minding too much that sleep was over for the night, as long as they were together and feeling better. Maybe that was all anyone could ask for -- life was full of nightmares, both real and intangible, but being together made them much easier to endure.