mila (listentoteeth) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2023-02-22 18:09:00 |
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Entry tags: | #july 2018, adrian, adrian x mila, mila |
Who: Adrian & Mila
Where: Home
When: Monday night, July 9th
Status: Complete
Adrian hadn't had much time to talk to Mila when he got home on Sunday night. He'd been late getting back for one and by the time he got there, Mila and Aaron had been all snuggled up and cozy on the couch, watching a movie. He didn't want to butt in on that, plus he was still kind of reeling from his weekend and didn't much feel like lying about it all when it was all still so fresh in his mind and body so he just said a quick hello and snuggled his sister a little before withdrawing to the nursery he currently called his room. Sleeping alone always sucked but he had things to look forward to this time around so it hadn't been all that bad. When he'd had a break at work, he'd called to ask about apartments in Castle View even if some part of him did not feel ready. He still needed to order a bed, he had no furniture, his apartment was going to be even more scarce than Kane's and that was saying something. He was anxious and excited about it all tonight because as it turned out, there were available units that he could get very soon and so he had plenty to talk to Mila about without having to really talk about the weekend. He got home around eight, tired but giddy and hoped Mila wasn't busy or too tired to hang out for a bit.
Mila was tired but she was awake, waiting for her brother to come home so they could talk. Aaron was closing the bar and Roxy was with Spence again, so it seemed like a good time. It felt like they hadn’t talked in awhile and she wanted to know what was going on in his life. Everything felt so secretive lately and maybe she was just reading into things. Even so, it felt like the right time to try and get Adrian to open up to her. When Adrian finally walked in, she was on the couch with a bowl of ice cream nearly finished in her lap. Almost immediately she reached for the remote to turn off the television, not wanting any distractions. “Hey,” she said, giving him a smile. “How was work?”
"Holy shit, so much running around," Adrian replied and flopped down on the couch next to her, her actions a clear invitation to join her and he wanted to talk to her too. Work had been uneventful and that was a good thing, plus he didn't really want to talk about the hospital, there were more interesting things going on. "I've got news," he said and it felt so premature to tell her though he wasn't sure why. This was happening and she would be happy to have her privacy back. It wasn't like he was leaving town either, he'd be checking in on her - probably more than she'd like, even if he was trying hard not to treat her like some fragile little flower who couldn't be left alone for an evening.
He had news! That was a good thing. Maybe he was going to tell her what she was going to ask him about anyway, which was even better because then Mila wouldn't feel like she's prying. Setting the bowl of ice cream on the coffee table, she pulled her legs up beneath her to give Adrian her full attention. "Okay," she said, smiling. "It sounds like good news. It's good news, right?" He looked too calm for it to be anything traumatizing.
"I hope so," Adrian replied with a little grin. "If it's bad news it means we've become way too codependent." He couldn't really fault them if that was the case, they were terrified for each other and for good reason, they probably both needed a whole lot of therapy and time to heal and yet here they were, trudging through life like nothing had happened. "I'm getting my own place, they have some available in Castle View so I'll be out of your hair before you know it. Got a payout from my old job, insurance and unpaid wages, covers the first first payout." If anyone could handle the truth of how he'd actually gotten the money, it was Mila, but the last thing Adrian wanted was to stress her out with grand hunting tales and wendigo nonsense. "Good news, no?"
Mila's brows rose since that wasn't really what she was expecting. Obviously she wanted her brother to get back on his feet and yes, they would need the space once the baby was born, but she did worry. And she had maybe gotten used to Adrian being around, especially when Aaron wasn't. "Are you ready to live alone?" she asked, wanting to sound supportive despite the fact that she was concerned. "Are you sure you have the money? And... I mean, you don't even have a bed, Adrian. Aaron and I can help if you need it."
"I know you can," Adrian said, easily hearing that concern in her voice. "I already looked at beds in Portland, gonna order one before I move in. If I get lonely I'll come crash on your couch, promise." He reached over to take hold of her hand. "I think it'll be good, especially now that I've got my job back, I'll be coming and going at weird hours, you know. And your little girl is gonna need her nursery." Of course he knew he wasn't about to get lonely, not just yet anyway, and that urge to sneak out again tonight and go crash at Kane's was a little overwhelming. He was tired though and he hadn't spent enough time with his family lately. "Best you can do to help me is to follow the doctor's orders, keep eating ice cream and kicking your feet up."
Mila knew Adrian wouldn't be living with them forever but now that he was actually planning on moving out she felt those subtle slivers of panic sneaking in. What if he disappeared again, or went away? What if she went over to his apartment one day and he was gone? Squeezing his hand, Mila did her best to take a subtle breath and not completely crumple. That wasn't what he needed right now. This was a good thing. "I'm happy for you," she said, a small smile curving at her lips. "I'm sure you're looking forward to not sleeping on the floor in a nursery anymore. Just be ready for mom showing up on your doorstep all the time, unannounced and with food."
"I'm prepared," Adrian tittered, but he noticed the change in her demeanor and squeezed her hand back. "And you can call me or text me or come over anytime," he told her. "I'll give you my work schedule if you want it, just remember I might be asked to stay longer sometimes. Crazy job and all." It wasn't crazy of her to worry about him, just like it wasn't crazy of him to worry about her. There was a part of him that wanted to keep eyes on her all the time, that cringed at the thought that she'd been at home all by herself while he and Aaron were working, then kind of felt peeved that Roxy hadn't stayed with her until someone else came home. At least he realized that line of thinking wasn't fair, Mila was a grown woman, about to become a mother and she was stronger than anyone gave her credit for.
Mila couldn't help but huff a small laugh. Making Adrian give her his schedule, texting him constantly to make sure he was all right... it made her feel more like their mother than she cared to. Adrian was an adult and he wouldn't leave her. "Can I ask you something?" She studied him, keeping her hand in his. It was personal and maybe none of her business but after talking with Aaron, she really couldn't help herself. Maybe Adrian's sudden desire to move out had something to do with it and she was hoping her brother would be honest with her. "Were you alone in Portland last weekend?"
"Yeah, why?" Adrian murmured before he had time to think about it and maybe that was just as well because it came out casual, even curious, and it probably wouldn't have with where his mind went next. Maybe someone had seen him and Kane and told Mila all about it and now he was lying to her face, it made him feel uneasy suddenly and the nonchalant mask almost slipped. "I mean, I met people..." he added uncertainly, studying her face back for any reaction.
He answered so quickly, so easily that Mila almost believed him. But there was something in his eyes that had Mila doubting his answer and she almost felt bad for that. If he was lying, he obviously didn't want her to know about this person. But she wanted to know, especially if Aaron was right and Adrian was happy. Her brows furrowed as she studied him. "You know I love you, right? And I want you to be happy and... I wouldn't judge or be upset if you were dating someone. I just feel like you're hiding something and... I don't know. I just... want you to let me into those parts of your life."
The way she put it, it was like she already knew, because otherwise why would she make a point of telling him she wouldn't judge him? She wanted him to be dating someone, she and Aaron had set him up with Kat for a reason, he just had a feeling Kane wasn't exactly what she'd had in mind for him, he and Kat couldn't be more different. He wiggled her hand a little and shook his head. "Now, why would I keep that a secret from you?" he asked because he honestly wanted to know her answer. A part of him wanted to blurt out everything, to get it all off his chest and not have to sneak around her at least, but there was something to be said about rocking boats and stressing out a pregnant woman who was already at risk.
"I don't know... because you don't want me to be an annoying sister and ask you a bunch of questions, or tease you. Or maybe you feel like it's too new and you're not sure what it is yet." Mila smiled and rested her arm against the back of the couch. She supposed he was right. Why would he keep it from her if he was seeing someone? It seemed silly to do such a thing, especially when he knew how happy it would make her if he was dating. "I'm sorry," she added, squeezing his hand gently again. "Aaron just mentioned how you seemed happier lately, so I thought maybe there was someone... I didn't mean to pry or anything. I was just curious. You will tell me when you meet someone, right?"
"You know, dating isn't really something that I feel like I should be doing," Adrian said with a pang of guilt. "I'm not... even fully human anymore, I don't know what I am or how it'll affect my life. Seems like a lot to inflict on some nice girl, you know?" But not Kane, because Kane wasn't really fully human either and he'd seen worse than Adrian even if he had truly seen the worst of him too. "But yeah, I'll tell you," he added with a faint smile and the silent caveat of 'if it gets that kind of serious'. Being stupidly in love was probably a good enough qualifier but he still wanted to wait, give it just a little more time. He wasn't even sure what he was waiting for at this point, he should probably just take a chance and blurt it all out, it just felt like it caught in his throat whenever he thought about it.
Mila understood what he meant, but she also didn't want him to think that his problems should keep him from finding someone to be happy with. Her smile slipped, but only a little. "I get it. I'm not... the person I was before. And you already know the baby isn't fully human either. But I think if you find the right person, it's worth whatever trouble may come. I just want you to be happy, whether that's with someone or just doing things on your own." She was silly to think Adrian was keeping things from her. They lived under the same roof right now and he was her brother. They'd both been through a lot. She had told him her own secret, even asking him to keep it from Aaron for the moment. Mila trusted him. "Do you want some ice cream?" she asked, her brow lifting. "I've got more than enough."
"Temptress," Adrian said with a grin and glanced at her bowl. "You want more? I can get some for us." He was relieved they were moving on from this topic because at the moment he just felt guilty and selfish for keeping his secret because it was selfish to keep her in the dark just so he didn't have to risk her looking at him differently. He'd seen it happen, people's attitude changing completely when they found out someone they knew was gay, like they'd become a completely different person somehow. Right now she was his little sister and she looked at him the right way and talked to him easily, he wasn't willing to lose that yet. Fetching ice cream for her was the least he could do; keep her off her feet and be of some service. It wasn't like his feet hurt, even after a long day. His body was all wrong but now in ways that actually made him feel good.
Mila groaned. "I shouldn't eat more, but... yeah, I want more. Just a little bit." She stretched out her legs again, wishing Aaron was home. She selfishly wanted a foot massage. "You want to watch a movie or something?" He'd had a long day so she wouldn't blame him if he wanted to go right to bed, but it seemed like a rare thing for them to hang out alone lately. Since he would be moving out soon, those nights would probably get even more infrequent and as silly as it was, Mila was already missing his presence.
"Yeah," Adrian replied cheerfully because he wasn't very tired and he wanted to spend some more time with her, watch something dumb and maybe laugh a little. "Be right back," he murmured and grabbed her bowl before heading to the kitchen to get them both some ice cream. He was really looking forward to having a place of his own but he also knew it wouldn't fully feel like it was his for a while. His mother would meddle, far more protective of him now than she had been before he'd disappeared, he had no doubt he'd have people checking in on him all the damn time and he had no idea how long it would take for things to return to something resembling normal. On some level he didn't even really mind. It was good to know that if something happened to him, people would notice, and he could always shield himself behind work if he wanted some privacy. He returned with the ice cream and handed Mila her bowl before getting comfortable again next to her and watching her browse the menu of movies they might watch. "Bad moms," he chuckled as they went over the comedy titles. "We could watch that and make notes for what you're not supposed to do when your little girl comes into the world."
"Let's watch it," Mila agreed, once she was settled with the ice cream. "Mostly because I bet they're moms having fun instead of being crazy stressed out and stuff." And it would be a couple of hours hanging out with her brother before Aaron came home. She had a feeling there would be less movie and ice cream nights once he moved out. "Promise that you'll come over at least once a week for dinner," she said after taking a bite of the ice cream. "Even if we just order pizza."
"I'll drop by all the time," Adrian promised then grinned slyly. "Eat your food and watch your tv. I can cook sometimes too, it'll probably be a while until I have everything I need over there." The urge to tell her he wouldn't be completely alone there either came up unbidden and he pushed it aside while silently cursing his cowardice and quickly trying to find something else to say. "Did you do anything fun over the weekend? I hope you had the house to yourselves a lot, Roxy's been gone more and more, right?" Seeing Spencer, a whole huge leap up from dating Caden Lucas, that was a fact.
She hoped he did come over a lot. She knew she wasn't the best cook, though Aaron did all right for himself. But she didn't want to give her own kid food poisoning and eating takeout every night could get expensive. Mila shrugged softly at his question, taking another bite of ice cream. "Roxy's been at Spence's a lot. I mean, when she's here we spend time together, but I think she's pretty happy when she's with him. I wouldn't be surprised if she moves in with him soon." She hadn't planned on saying anything to Adrian, but after a moment of thought, she decided that honesty was the best policy. "Don't freak out on me, but Aaron and I went out to Cooperdale. I just... needed to see it again for myself. Try to find some closure."
It was like all of Adrian's good mood drained right out of him and he gave Mila a shocked look that was almost tinged with betrayal somehow. "Why?" he asked quietly when he found his voice again, memories of what he'd done to get her out of there in the first place crashing down on him and churning his guts with guilt. Would he do it again? Absolutely. Even if the second time around was because Mila was being stupid and going out there of her own free will? The answer was still yes. It would always be yes. He would burn down Point Pleasant to keep his baby sister safe.
She could practically see the shift in his emotion and Mila shifted a bit on the couch. She didn't like disappointing anyone in her family, but she just hoped he would understand nothing bad came of it. "I woke up with a feeling like... I should. Like I needed to. I think I needed to face it." Mila decided against telling him that Aaron had felt the need to go to the tunnel too. Hindsight being 20/20, that was a little sketchy and she didn't want to give Adrian a reason to worry even more. "I was with Aaron the whole time... we went, we saw... and we left. I think Aaron felt a lot better, actually... it kind of seemed like he had a weight lifted off of his shoulders."
It already sounded sketchy that Aaron hadn't vehemently refused to go but Adrian knew his sister could be persuasive with her big doe eyes and all. He still brushed his hand over his face as he sighed and reined in the urge to go to the Porch to yell at Aaron. This wasn't his fault and it wasn't Mila's, it was just infuriating with nowhere to really put the anger. "Okay," he said with his newly mustered self restraint. "Just... Please, please don't go back there." Maybe it was therapeutic for them to go see it was just a tunnel - but that was the problem, it wasn't just a tunnel, it wasn't just some place where bad things happened. It was a bad thing constantly happening, probably still chewing on the bones of the men Adrian had brought to it - if they even had been the last victims.
Mila nodded, eager to ease Adrian's concerns and get back to a lighter mood. "I won't go back," she promised. "Me and Aaron both decided that after we left. It doesn't exist anymore." As much as she wished that were true, Mila knew better. But she wanted the men in her life to heal from what had happened to them and to her. Mila smiled at him before nudging him with her foot. "I told you though, okay? Because I love you and don't want you to worry about me, especially now that you're moving out. Just please don't be mad? I can't enjoy this ice cream if you're mad at me."
"I'm not mad at you," Adrian promised, reaching up to ruffle her hair a bit at the back of her neck. "I'm scared for you, that's totally different." He gave her a faint smile, not wanting to upset her when she was already fragile. They had to keep that baby safe in every possible way. "But as long as you don't go back... So Aaron really felt better too? Like it was over?" Maybe it didn't mean shit but he had to hope it did, that their instincts were right and the tunnel was done with them. He'd paid a high price for Mila to get out but evil wasn't exactly known to be fair.
Mila was scared for Adrian too, all the time, so she understood where he was coming from. She gave him a small smile, taking up another bite of ice cream on her spoon. "I don't know exactly, but... he seemed relieved, so maybe for him, it is over? I think facing that place was something he really needed." Mila had thought she needed it too and while she was proud of herself for not having a complete meltdown, she still felt funny walking away from it. "I want that for him too. More than anything else. I just want him to be able to put the past behind him for good and look forward to everything else."
Aaron was quick to forgive and move on, which was lucky for both the Moretti siblings but they were people who loved him and not an evil entity lurking in the woods. Could he move on? Could any of them? Adrian nodded along to what Mila was saying because he wanted that too - for all of them - for things to be good again. "At least he has a lot to look forward to," he said. "We all do." He glanced at Mila's bump with a smile. "How is she doing?" He had smothered any doubts he'd had about this child being anything but a blessing because no matter what, it was just a baby and it was Mila's. Even if the tunnel might have something to do with it, even if Mila's ordeal might have warped it somehow. Adrian was sure that if there was any trace of evil in the girl, the family would love it right out of her.
The disappointment and worry seemed to have faded from Adrian's eyes, so Mila took another bite of ice cream, grateful that she had gotten the whole tunnel thing off her chest. She hadn't even wanted Adrian to know, but it felt right telling him. He had been the one who'd been there when she had gotten out of that place and it didn't really feel right keeping secrets from him. "She's good," Mila said, glancing down at her growing belly. "She seems to like doing gymnastics at night when I'm trying to sleep. But at my last appointment, my doctor said everything was normal. They do think I'm a bit farther along than expected, but they kind of seemed confused by the whole thing." Mila released a slow breath and then shrugged. "I don't really expect them to have answers, knowing what I know. I just don't want Aaron to worry about it. She'll probably come early, but I'm okay with that as long she's healthy. Oh! Remind me to show you the outfits mom brought over before I go to bed." Mila paused, her lips twitching. "They're hideous. They look like they should be on an old porcelain doll in the attic."
"Oh no," Adrian chuckled and he was glad for the change of topic, he really was, even if he felt on some level like they should keep talking about it, as if there was anything they could actually alter by doing that. "From someone at church?" he asked. "Or did she actually buy it?" He did remember seeing some photos of Mila wearing awful clothes when she was a toddler, but it had been easily blamed on the 90s and he didn't think Maria's taste in things was that awful but maybe it was some passive aggressive catholic thing - or maybe she just had a bad bout of weird baby fever. It was so much easier to laugh at bad clothes than it was to think of the tunnel and all the implications that it might have affected his niece.
"No, she got them from Marjorie Solowsky at church," Mila said with a grin, dipping her spoon into her ice cream again. "They're so terrible. I figured I'll only make the baby wear them when I know mom is going to visit. I don't even know where mom would go to buy those kind of outfits anymore. A thrift store? Antique store? She seemed excited so I didn't have the heart to tell her they were terrible. I can't wait to see what else she gets when I have my baby shower." Mila really just hoped her mom would buy a diaper pail and call it a day, but she wasn't going to hold her breath. Nudging Adrian gently, Mila's smile softened. "I'll really miss you being here."
Adrian gave her a warm smile, like he was about to say something reassuring. "No you won't," he said then and his smile became more of a smirk. "I'll come over all the time and you and Aaron will have more space for yourselves. You can call me anytime for anything. If I'm not working I'll come watch her so you can take a nap or shower or whatever." Thanks to his job he knew a lot about new mothers, not so much from the job itself but from actually listening to tired, overworked and exasperated nurses with kids. He wanted to make damn sure Mila wouldn't suffer that much and Aaron was only one guy. The thought that if he went hunting with Kane more often, he wouldn't have to work as much crossed his mind and god, it was tempting. The thought of having a lot of free time to actually help out friends and family was a sweet one.
Mila would miss him and she sincerely hoped he would come by all the time. She'd gone so many years with her brother being presumed dead that anytime he left the house now she felt subtle prickles of anxiety, fearing he might not return. "I'm going to hold you to that," Mila said warningly. "Because if a few days go by and I don't see you, I'm going to track you down myself to make sure you're okay." Adrian had a life now and Mila knew that. She wouldn't become their mother, nosy and invasive, but she knew she would need to make sure he was alive and safe anytime those terrible memories began to surface again. She hated that she needed so much reassurance, but the memories of her time in the tunnel hadn't faded completely and there were times Mila still doubted this reality.
"Yeah, that's not gonna happen," Adrian promised. "I worry about you too so, I'll be checking in on you too." He wished he could amplify his senses at will, because right then he really wanted to listen in on the baby's heartbeat. That was the thing he always missed the most, that reassurance of multiple heartbeats around him, including one very fast and unmistakably his niece's. "Man, we're a mess," he huffed. "We gotta look out for each other." Their parents didn't know half the truth about everything they'd been through so in some ways Mila felt like his only really close family these days. It probably wasn't fair, but there was a certain wall between them and their parents now. Maybe that happened to everyone when they became adults, but their wall was made of different stuff.
As much as she wanted to protest, Mila knew he was right. They were a mess. "We're getting better though," she pointed out softly. "Both of us. And things will keep getting better." That was something she had to believe. Mila wanted to be a good wife and mother and she knew she had a lot of work to do to keep pushing past the trauma. While she knew Aaron had forgiven her for what happened, Mila still had so much to make up for and the last thing she wanted was for Aaron to have to worry about her on top of taking care of a newborn. "Maybe we can have weekly dinners or something? I know you said you'll pop in all the time, but... it would be nice, wouldn't it? I promise I won't do the cooking."
It made Adrian wish he had a more predictable work schedule so they could set down a definite time for every week, Sunday nights for example, but it wasn't going to be that simple. It would have to be week to week planning and hoping nothing came up to mess with those plans but he thought he could wing it. Mercy wasn't as crazy busy as other places he'd worked, he might even get lucky most of the time and keep his plans in tact. "Weekly dinners, even if it's takeout," he agreed. "I can come over and cook sometimes, especially after she's born," he gently poked the side of Mila's baby bump. "I know you guys are gonna be dead on your feet." He had no intention of fading into obscurity and if Kane didn't live right there in Castle View he'd hesitate to move at all. The idea of living alone was both tempting and frightening.
Weekly dinners sounded good to Mila. She was going to try really hard not to cling to Adrian and let him live his life without her hovering. Sometimes it just felt like she would blink and he would be gone. Or she would wake up and find all of this was a beautiful dream designed to torture her. Sometimes she flashed back to standing in all of that snow and watching him running to her with a blanket. He had looked like a ghost for that brief moment. Without thinking, Mila reached out to grip his hand tightly, just to make sure he was real and physically present there with her. Her heartbeat had picked up but Mila managed a strained smile, just to make sure he knew she was okay. It would get easier as time passed but if she denied herself the reassurance that all of this was real, then she would probably lose her mind. "Weekly dinners," she agreed after a moment, still holding onto his hand. "Just no Thai food, okay? Aaron brought that home the other night and I thought I was going to throw up all night. Apparently the baby doesn't like it and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to smell it again without feeling nauseous."
"Oh no," Adrian said with a little laugh that sounded more sympathetic than amused. "No thai for you. Pasta's okay though, right? Mom will die if you can't eat pasta." He gave her hand a little squeeze back, understanding on some level what she was going through even if he didn't know exactly. They were both so traumatized and he was endlessly proud of her for how strong she was, how she'd picked up her life and made the best of it despite what she'd been through. "You want pasta?" he asked again, this time leaning toward Mila's belly. "You're Italian and Irish, you're gonna have to love pasta and potatoes." He glanced back up at Mila, smiling warmly at her. "I think she'll be okay with pasta."
Unable to help herself, Mila laughed. "Pasta and potatoes. Carbs for days. But if this baby had an aversion to pasta, I would have to question whether she's mine at all." Thankfully Mila still loved Italian food, which was a blessing since her mom had been bringing food to the house constantly since Mila ended up on bed rest. Finally releasing Adrian's hand, Mila picked up her spoon again, gesturing to her bowl with it. "She likes ice cream too, so I don't think there's anything to worry about." There was plenty to worry about, but Mila didn't want to sink into those thoughts right now. "You want some more?" she asked, nodding to Adrian's bowl.
"Nah I'm good," Adrian murmured and reached for Mila's bowl before getting up. "I'll get you some more though, then we can watch this movie." He leaned over Mila to give her a little smooch on the cheek, then headed out to do just that. It was nice having a quiet night at home with his little sister and if they ended up chatting more instead of actually paying attention to the comedy they'd chosen, that was good too. He was just pretty sure neither of them wanted to delve into dark things again but thankfully they had lighthearted things to talk about and things they were both looking forward to.