search within (searchwithin) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2023-02-05 11:47:00 |
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Entry tags: | #flashback, brianna, brianna x tucker, tucker |
Who: Tucker and Brianna
When: night, around five years ago
Where: on the phone
Status: Turns nsfw
It was hard to tell time in Vegas. Tucker slept through most of the daylight hours when he was here, so the days seemed to just stretch into an endless night punctuated by sunsets while he had his first meal of the day. It always gave him the sense of being suspended in some insulated world of neon lights and blaring noise and ugly carpets. Tucker didn’t complain though, this was his livelihood. When he left the neon desert, he wouldn’t have to work again for a whole year if he didn’t want to.
The blackjack table was good to him that night, so Tucker retired to the hotel bar fairly early. He had to pace himself with his winnings, lest he draw too much scrutiny from the people running the show. Not that they could ever prove he was doing anything wrong -- he was just lucky, that was all.
In some ways, at least. He struck out with a couple of ladies at the bar and decided to take the party up to his room to mope about it. Tucker kicked his shoes off and flopped into bed with a little groan. It was still early-ish but he was already pretty drunk, so maybe a nap would give him a second wind to go back downstairs again. While he waited to doze off, he scrolled a bit on his phone, his eyes skimming over Facebook posts from people he didn’t give a shit about, when a friend suggestion caught his eye. Though it was more like it caught his heart and dropped it down a short flight of stairs. It was Brianna Coulter’s face on his screen, smiling and just as beautiful as she’d ever been. Tucker’s thumb hovered for a moment over her name -- Brianna McCarthy, she’d obviously gotten married, but there was no mistaking her. Not for him.
He got up and got another drink before he started snooping. By the time he found her work number, his judgment was impaired enough that he couldn’t stop himself from calling it. Tucker didn’t expect her to pick up, since it was past any reasonable business hours, but he wanted to listen to her voicemail message, hear her voice again.
Brianna was in bed when the phone on her nightstand began to buzz. She had been sleeping fitfully with James out of town so it didn’t take long before the sound cut through the hazy dream she’d been having. What time was it? Brianna blinked rapidly in the darkness of her room until she recognized the sound as her cell phone. Realizing it could be James and maybe something was wrong, she grabbed her phone, not realizing it was her work cell and not her personal one. Brianna squinted at the screen in the dark and it was another second or two before it occurred to her that someone was calling her work number. At this hour? It wasn’t a number she recognized, but maybe something had happened to James and this was the only number they had to get a hold of her. All three kids were home and in bed, so she knew they were safe.
So Brianna answered, bringing the phone up to her ear. Hopefully it was just a wrong number and everything was fine. “Hello?” Her voice was hoarse and sleepy, but her mind was very awake now.
That was not the start of a voicemail, and Tucker felt a little panicky all of the sudden, pulling the phone away from his ear with a jerk. “Fuck,” he hissed, fumbling to find the hang up button. At almost the same moment he decided hanging up was stupid, she could just call him back and he could block her number, but that would be so idiotic, and what was he, a fourteen year old girl? Grimacing, Tucker put the phone back into place against the side of his head and cleared his throat. “Fuck, ah -- Brianna, hello,” he stumbled, his free hand coming up to cover his eyes. It was too late, he was in it now. “It’s Ed, uh ... Eddie. Edward Tucker. Sorry to bother you, I didn’t, uh ... didn’t think you’d pick up.”
The cursing prompted Brianna to sit up, her brows furrowed in confusion. It definitely wasn’t James but there was something familiar about the voice. Brianna was reaching over to turn on her lamp when the man began to talk. As soon as he said her name, Brianna knew it was Eddie. She had spent many days as a teenage girl loving the sound of her name on his lips. Memories were suddenly rushing to the surface, leaving her dumbstruck. Her hand fell away from the lamp, leaving the room in darkness. She had so many questions - why was Eddie Tucker calling her? How did he get her phone number? Did he know what time it was? All rational questions that she could have asked him, but Brianna was still trying to comprehend the fact that Tuck was on the phone. She hadn’t spoken to him since… her junior year of college? Maybe before then.
With her pulse racing now, Brianna realized she hadn’t said anything in a few moments and she cleared her throat. God, what was she supposed to say? “Eddie? Are you… is everything okay?” It was a stupid question, but Brianna couldn’t even begin to imagine why he was calling her, and so late. Oh god, what if he was dying? They hadn’t spoken in years but they had a pretty intense history together. Brianna clutched her blanket with her free hand, bracing herself for bad news.
Even though Brianna’s tone was hushed and concerned, hearing her say his name -- a name he avoided using as much as possible as an adult -- made his heart squeeze weirdly. Tucker closed his eyes and put his free hand against his chest, able to feel his emotions bubbling up like his insides were carbonated. This had been a stupid goddamn idea, what was wrong with him? Brianna’s Facebook had been limited, she probably had filters on it, but he’d seen her last name and some pictures of her kids ... he should’ve left well enough alone. But now that she was on the other end of the line, he didn’t want to hang up. Brianna had always had a magnetic effect on him, and that didn’t seem to have changed over the years. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, it’s ... well it’s not great,” he said with a faint chuckle. “But that’s not -- nothing you need to worry about. I’m just ... how are you? How’s life and ... things?”
Brianna stared dumbly ahead, suddenly wondering if she was dreaming. Maybe her phone had started to ring but she hadn't actually woken up, and this was all playing out in her subconscious. It certainly felt real though, considering how hard her heart was beating in her chest. It was after midnight here and she hadn't had any contact with Eddie Tucker in years. Now he was calling her and maybe he sounded a little... drunk? She wasn't sure. His speech wasn't slurred or anything. It was just a strange time to suddenly play catch up with an old boyfriend. At least James wasn't in bed beside her.
Brianna leaned back into her pillows, her free hand playing idly in the blanket now. "Well... uh, life and things are fine." No, she wasn't going to launch into a conversation about her marriage and her suspicions that James was cheating on her. And Brianna had never been the kind of mother to gush about her kids to strangers. Though Eddie - Tuck - wasn't a stranger to her. Not entirely. "How are things with you? Are you... back in town?" Something in her chest - probably her heart - tripped at the possibility. She just couldn't tell if it was from apprehension or anticipation.
Tucker knew this was a ridiculous time to try and have a casual conversation with a long-gone ex. They hadn’t dated since high school, and both of them were a couple of decades removed from that time in their lives. Still, just talking to her again put a vivid vision of her in his head, all that pretty red hair and her gorgeous eyes crinkled with amused mischief. God, her smile had sparkled. Did she look at her husband like that? Tuck tried not to think about it. “No,” he answered, wondering if that would be a disappointment to her or not. He hadn’t been back to Point Pleasant in years, and had no plans to do so. That place was fucking cursed. “No, I’m in Vegas, actually.” Tuck chuckled again and licked his lips. “M’just ... here and I couldn’t sleep and I saw you on Facebook and ... I just wanted to hear your voice. Thought I’d get your, uh, your voicemail.” That probably sounded extremely pathetic, because it kind of was. But he was drunk and lonely and damned if he didn’t still have a soft spot for Brianna. “Sorry I woke you,” he added in a mumble.
Vegas. Brianna arched a brow. Well, that would explain why he was calling her so late. It wasn't that late in Nevada. She didn't exactly know how to respond to the fact that he'd wanted to hear her voice. He was clearly feeling some kind of nostalgia, especially if he had seen her on Facebook. Even so, it was sweet because it did feel nice to hear his voice again too. A little jarring, yes, but still sweet. "It's all right," Brianna said, still picking at the blanket. "I wasn't sleeping very well anyway. What are you doing in Vegas? Do you live there now?" She should really hang up and just go back to sleep, but now that her past was on the other end of the phone, she felt compelled to keep talking, at least for a few more minutes. It wouldn't hurt to know what Tuck had been up to lately.
He realized in a dim way that he hadn’t heard her moving around at all to indicate she’d gotten out of bed, or any male voice on the other end of the phone ... was James a heavy sleeper? Or was he not there? What if they’d gotten divorced and she’d just kept her married name -- women did that sometimes, didn’t they, especially with kids? Tuck knew that was a useless line of thinking that he didn’t need to go down, but he couldn’t help but think about how nice it would be to have Brianna there with him. “Fuck no,” he answered, giving an amused huff. “M’just here gambling. Got a place in Phoenix, actually ... tryin’ to be a desert rat, I guess.” It felt awkward to talk about himself, his life seemed like such a mess to most people. “It’s beautiful though, you should come sometime.” Tuck winced as the offer registered in his brain milliseconds after it had come out of his mouth and he cleared his throat. “Uh, you know ... bring the family. Which, I mean, they all look beautiful, Bri. Belated congratulations.”
Phoenix. Well, he was still living across the country. Admittedly, every now and then over the past few years, Brianna did wonder what Tuck was up to. She had resisted searching for him online for a variety of reasons, but she supposed it was natural to think about past loves. And Tuck had been her first, so it made sense, didn't it? When he mentioned Brianna visiting sometime, her brows shot up, even though she knew it was probably just a small talk kind of suggestion. Something never meant to come to fruition. Which was for the best. She could just imagine telling James she was flying out to Phoenix to see an old boyfriend. What a fun conversation that would lead to. She did have a beautiful family though, so she smiled a bit in the dark. "Thank you." And yes, it did feel a little awkward, since she had been so convinced that she and Tuck would have a family someday. But that had been her immaturity talking. First love was a powerful force and blinded people to reality. Brianna's rational side told her to hang up now, but she didn't, sinking further down into her pillows. "Are you married?" Honestly, she didn't want to know, but the question was out there now, wasn't it?
Tuck had been convinced of the same thing, back when they were seeing each other. Most teenage boys would rather die than ponder getting married, but he’d been head over heels in love with Brianna Coulter. He’d wanted to be with her forever, give her babies, all of it. Her family had decided he wasn’t good enough though, because he came from Seaview instead of Overlook. Tuck still vividly remembered how painful that breakup had been for both of them, and sometimes he still got a sinking feeling in his chest when it crossed his mind. It seemed like she’d found a more appropriate suitor -- Tuck remembered James McCarthy, though not well. There were a lot of things that were fuzzy in his memory now, but Brianna still burned bright through the fog. “Naw,” he murmured, his free fingers still resting on his chest. His heart was beating hard against them, and it picked up a bit at the question. “I was, a few years ago. We didn’t even make it a full year.” Tuck wet his lips again. “And you, still ...? James McCarthy, right?”
"I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work out." He had gotten married. That was such a bizarre thing to hear and acknowledge. Who was his ex-wife? Was she beautiful? Adventurous? Was she subdued and boring? Did she cheat on Tuck? Who decided to end things? All questions Brianna had no business asking and had no plans to. The less she knew about Tuck's life now, the better. She didn't want to start obsessing over it when she was a grown woman now, with three kids and a life that was so far from anything she'd expected in high school.
The mention of James had Brianna lifting her hand to stare at her wedding ring. "James and I are still married, yes." No, she couldn't admit that she was pretty sure that her husband had extramarital affairs when he left town for work, which was often. That maybe the spark had dulled a while ago and things were just comfortable now and it simply made sense that they stay together. Anything less than a happy, successful marriage simply wasn't allowed. Exes could be smug about things like that. You broke my heart, so that's what you get. It was so juvenile, but human emotions were unpredictable and often petty. But she did love James. Of course, she did. "If you ever... decide to visit Point Pleasant again, give me a call? We'll catch up properly."
Was she actually sorry to hear that? Maybe so, maybe Tuck was the only one still holding a dumb candle here. Brianna had obviously been married for quite a while, she had three gorgeous kids that had looked like they were teenagers already, maybe Tuck never even crossed her mind anymore. It was probably best that way, but he wasn’t so sure. Was it just his imagination that her tone was kind of flat when she said her husband’s name? Wishful thinking, probably. Seeing Brianna again was the only reason he could think of to go back to Point Pleasant, but luckily Tuck wasn’t quite drunk enough to say so. “I will, but ... don’t go yet, just ... talk to me for a few minutes?” he asked softly. It had been a long time since he’d felt so vulnerable, and even though it was making his chest ache, there was something good about it too, and Tuck didn’t want to let her hang up yet. “Unless you’re keeping him up,” he added, even quieter.
Tuck did cross her mind from time to time, usually at night when she couldn't sleep and memories surfaced of her life before marriage and kids. He had been a formative part of her life, after all and there were times she felt wistful about the past. But they had been kids back then and how often did high school sweethearts ever last? Life was too hard and they had been too different. Brianna glanced to her right, where James usually slept when he was home. His side of the bed was empty now and Brianna chewed on her bottom lip, hesitating. The smart thing would be to wish Tuck well and say goodnight, but what harm would it do to indulge him for a few more minutes? Indulge herself. "He's not here," Brianna said after a moment. If he had been, Brianna probably wouldn't have bothered to answer her work phone, and then Tuck would have listened to her voicemail, hung up and that would have been it. Right? So maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that James was gone. "He's out of town for work. Which happens a lot. Point Pleasant isn't as litigious as one might think. "
Well, wasn’t that interesting? She was alone. Tuck opened his eyes halfway, getting a little tingle in his stomach that had no right to be there. He took the last thing Brianna said to mean that James was a lawyer. So she’d done well for herself then, in the husband department. Tuck bet her parents were proud. The thought was bitter and he tried to nudge it away. Time was limited, and he didn’t want to waste it moping. “I see,” Tuck murmured, then chuckled faintly. “Surprising, it’s a hellhole in nearly every other way.” He was tempted to ask if James’s occupation made all of that absence worthwhile, but he knew that was the opposite of his business. Besides, he wasn’t truly interested in Brianna’s husband, just her. “Do you still paint?” he asked after a pause. During a more normal catch up with a friend, he would’ve asked more about her family, her kids, what she did for work, but those were boring questions, and Tuck felt like the farther away from adult life they stayed, the longer this conversation would be.
Would Tuck have been surprised to learn that her parents had all but stopped talking to her after she married James? Yes, he was more suitable but he was also a witch and magic had always been forbidden in her family. Then again, Tuck didn’t know that particular part of her life and she saw no reason to bring it up now, if ever. Magic was a contentious subject in the McCarthy household and she didn’t want to think about it now. Instead, she focused on listening to his voice, how it sounded older now but still so wholly Tucker. They had done this so many years ago, talking on the phone way into the night, more or less whispering so their parents wouldn’t overhear. Before the days of pagers and cell phones and texts. It was amusing to be doing that again, sort of, and still so incredibly strange. His question about her painting prompted Brianna to grimace a little, but she kept her tone light enough. “No, I gave that up in college. I couldn’t take any more lectures about how it wasn’t a financially stable career. So I took business classes instead. God, I haven’t painted in years.” She didn’t even keep any paintings she had done when she was younger. They’d all gone into the trash. “What are you doing now?” she asked, not wanting to sink into even more regret. “Where do you work?”
That made him frown a bit, because art had been a passion of Brianna’s back when he’d known her, and she’d been getting good at it, too. “Remember when you drew my DnD character for me?” he asked instead of answering her questions right away, the smile audible in his voice. “I still got it somewhere.” They’d spent a lot of time just hanging out and listening to music, Brianna sketching while Tucker read or made character sheets for his dice games. Looking back now, those serene moments seemed dipped in gold. Maybe Brianna didn’t want to reminisce, but Tuck couldn’t really help himself at the moment. The booze had loosened his tongue, and he was relaxed and comfortable and full of bittersweet nostalgia. “Me though ... I don’t really work anywhere anymore,” he went on. “Independently wealthy, so ... I just do what I want.” There was a touch of playful cockiness seeping into his tone -- Tucker’s ego had matured along with the rest of him, but he tried not to be an asshole about it. To most people. “You don’t wanna talk financials though, do you? Come on, Bri ... tell me something fun. What are you into now?”
Brianna had no idea if she was more shocked by hearing Tuck had kept a sketch of hers, or that he was independently wealthy. How had that happened? How wealthy was wealthy? She knew he had been ridiculously smart in high school so of course he had made something of himself. The curiosity was there and a dozen questions were on the tip of her tongue, but Tuck didn't seem terribly interested in continuing that line of conversation. And now he wanted her to tell him something fun? What was she supposed to say? That she was a real estate agent in a small town and depended almost solely on her husband's income? That she had three kids and her only social life was helping manage events at the country club? It all sounded so boring to her now, because she was in bed in Point Pleasant and Tuck was living it up in Las Vegas. "Well, I don't have a lot of time to be into much of anything," she said finally. "We go sailing quite a bit, which I enjoy. I want to know about you, though." A smile slipped into her voice. "Mister I Do What I Want. What is it that you like to do? Besides gambling, apparently."
Tuck didn’t carry that sketch around in his wallet or anything, it was in storage, but he knew precisely where it was, tucked into the front of one of the Dungeons and Dragons rulebooks he couldn’t bear to part with. He’d looked at it quite a few times over the years, lost in old memories of the first girl he’d ever loved, and it served as a bit of proof she’d loved him back. Tuck had been whip-smart but painfully dorky as a teenager, and he’d been pretty amazed that a girl like Brianna wanted anything to do with him. She’d been his first everything, and she could apparently still make his heart race. Tuck laughed softly and rolled onto his side in the hotel bed, pulling one of the bit pillows to his chest to hug and drape one leg over. Gambling was part of how he was independently wealthy, but Brianna had never known about his special ‘talent,’ and he wasn’t going to be able to properly explain it tonight. “Gambling is one thing, yeah,” Tuck said with another chuckle. “Turns out I’m brilliant at poker. But let’s see ... I travel a lot. I like to sail too, thinking about buying a boat. Might be stupid for a guy who lives in Arizona, but I’m only at my place in Phoenix half the year, maybe. I still read a lot, still play video games like a kid. You know, all those things women find irresistible.” He huffed through his nose.
Poker was certainly in line with gambling if you asked Brianna. But she was glad to hear he was good at it, otherwise he would probably lose quite a bit of money. The only gambling Brianna had ever done was when the country club hosted casino night fundraisers. It didn't surprise her that Tuck enjoyed traveling. Growing up in Point Pleasant, who wouldn't want to get out of this town and see the world? Brianna and James took the kids on plenty of vacations, though there were so many places she still wanted to see. Her lips twisted into an amused, brief smile. "Well, plenty of women find wealth irresistible, so I am sure that more than makes up for watching you play video games," she teased. "So you travel a lot, when you're not home in Phoenix? Do you just go alone?" Yes, Brianna wondered if he took women with him, or if he had someone in his life now. Being divorced didn't mean Tuck would be permanently single, after all. She was betting there was no one with him in his hotel room now because she couldn't imagine any woman being okay with their boyfriend calling up an old lover.
Tucker winced and chuckled at the same time, immediately flashing back to his ex wife. She’d put on a good show in the beginning that she didn’t care about his money, but Tucker had quickly discovered otherwise. Not that he wanted to think about her at all at the moment, not with Brianna’s voice in his ear. Her question sounded kind of pointed, or like she was hunting for information about his relationship status. It might have just been curiosity, that was all part of catching up, but Tucker’s drunk brain wanted to believe otherwise. “Most of the time, yeah,” he replied, part of him hoping that was the answer she wanted. “I’ve been roaming a lot since I left home ... s’just easier to do alone.” He had taken women with him on trips in the past, he’d had girlfriends over the years, but Tuck found he was most comfortable answering to no one but himself. It got lonely sometimes, but he could deal with that. “M’alone right now,” he added, softer. “Like you.”
She had already assumed he was alone, but there was something in his voice that triggered some warmth to spread across her chest, and maybe between her thighs. It was mildly embarrassing and, frankly, out of character to let her mind wander into inappropriate territory with another man, but it was late, and dark in her room and James was away again. She could pretend for a little while that maybe she and Tuck were the only two people in the world awake. It was a strangely comforting thought. She could strip away the mask she wore every day to maintain her image and just pretend she was still that girl Tuck had known in high school. Before she put up her walls and did her best to be the right kind of wife and mother. "Maybe it's easier to do it alone, but you can't tell me that it's more fun that way," Brianna said, her own voice softer now than it had been. "But we're both alone now... does that make us pathetic?"
There was something deeply nostalgic about what they were doing, Tucker remembered those late nights on the phone too. They would just talk for hours, or Tuck would read her parts of whatever novel he was engrossed in ... more than once they’d fallen asleep together on the phone. He closed his eyes and tried to picture Brianna in front of him, the girl she’d been mixing with the woman he’d glimpsed in her online photos. Tuck felt like he remembered every inch of her body, but he knew memories could be slippery things, and he was sure she’d changed over the years just like he had. All he had at the moment was his memory-fantasy of her, and Tuck held the image in his mind, and it felt like the chasm of time and space between them narrowed slightly. “It’s definitely not as fun, you’re right about that,” he murmured, and barely bit his tongue on adding that it would be more fun with Brianna for company. Tucker wet his lips and gave a little hum. “I wouldn’t go that far, I wouldn’t wanna insult you.” He smiled faintly. If either of them was pathetic, it was him. “I feel less alone now though ... do you?”
She chuckled at the thought that calling her pathetic would be insulting. Maybe it would be, only because she was generally very confident in who she was. It was just recently that she had floundered in that, thanks to what she suspected James of doing. "I do feel less alone at the moment, yes," Brianna admitted. Her lips twitched again. "I'm still not wholly convinced that this isn't some kind of dream I'm having, but it feels real enough. I do feel a little guilty that you're in Vegas and instead of playing the slots or hitting on beautiful women, you're on the phone with me." No, she really didn't feel that guilty about it. If anything, it made her feel pretty good that he wasn't rushing to get off the phone so he could go win some more money or find a woman to bring back up to his room.
Tucker snorted softly, but he was smiling as he did so. “Nah, no guilt, slots are a scam, and most women are too,” he murmured. “Present company excluded, of course.” Maybe that would be insulting, but Tucker truly hadn’t had much luck with getting solid, dependable women in his life. He’d probably made real money too early, and it attracted a bunch of people who didn’t have a lot of interest in him, just his bank account. One night stands were very different, but he wasn’t going to tell her he’d already failed at that tonight. Talk about pathetic. “Maybe it is a dream,” he went on quietly. “Mine or yours, does it matter all that much? It’s just good to talk to you again.” It wouldn’t be the first dream he had about her, but that felt a little too vulnerable to admit.
Brianna arched a brow, intrigued by Tuck's thought that most women were scams. Had he had his heart broken before? Other than by her, of course. Gods, she really wanted to ask, to dive into his history of love and relationships after he left Point Pleasant, but Brianna knew it was for purely selfish reasons. She wanted to revel in the knowledge that no woman had ever come close to meaning as much to Tuck as she had. Acknowledging it was easy, but she was also very aware of how horrible it was to feel that way. Brianna took no pleasure in being the one to end their relationship and she had genuinely hated that she'd hurt him. What good would it do to drag all of that into the light now? "It's good to talk to you too," Brianna murmured. "If this is a dream, it's one of the better ones I've had lately. I honestly wasn't sure I would ever hear your voice again."
Brianna might be pleased to know that Tucker had only had a few real relationships in his life, and he’d been happiest in theirs while it lasted. Did their ages have something to do with that? Or the fact that Brianna had been his first everything? Probably. But the fact remained that even though he’d fallen in love again, a couple of times, it had never felt the same. It would’ve been entirely unfair to tell Brianna that, though. She had a husband and kids and a life of her own now, she didn’t need some ghost from the past popping up again to complicate things. If Tuck even could do that -- maybe she didn’t have enough feelings left for him to cause any ripples. He didn’t think he wanted to know either way. “Does it sound any different?” he asked, smiling softly. Tuck knew it did, he’d grown into a man and drank plenty of whisky and smoked cigars now and then. He really just wanted to know if Brianna liked the change, if she felt anything for him at all.
There were definitely ripples, though Brianna couldn't pretend to know whether or not they would exceed beyond this moment in time. She was living in the moment for once, embracing what was happening instead of thinking about what came next. It seemed like a strange twist of fate to be sleeping alone while her husband was out of town, and then to have Tuck, of all people, call her just to hear her voice. They might hang up and continue down their separate paths and never speak again, so why shouldn't she just enjoy this? "It does sound different," Brianna admitted with a smile. "Older... grown, but in a good way. I shouldn't say so, but sexy too. I still knew it was you, as soon as you said my name. Do I sound any different to you?"
Tucker could hear the smile in her voice and it gave him stomach flutters, something he hadn’t really felt in a long time. The fact that she’d known it was him before he’d stumbled through his own name like an idiot didn’t help matters, but it felt so goddamn good to hear. “You do, yeah,” he murmured. “In a good way too, though. We went and grew up, didn’t we?” Tuck felt a pang in his chest so he tried not to dwell there. “Sexy though, huh?” he went on, grinning a bit. “Haven’t heard that in a while. You want me to read to you? I could pull up that, uh ... what’s that kinky book all you women are supposed to be crazy about? Fifty Shades of something?” He knew he shouldn’t be flirting with her, he really did, but Tucker couldn’t help it. It was harmless -- he was states away, her husband wasn’t even in town, it wasn’t like this was a weekly call or anything.
They had grown up. She felt so different from who she had been before, when Tuck knew her. In a way Brianna was glad he was across the country because she wasn't entirely sure he would like who she was now. It was best to leave him with those memories instead of potentially ruining them. Brianna laughed again, bringing her hand up to cover her eyes. "I have not read that book, thank you very much. Though I find it very telling that you're offering to read me erotica and not something far more boring and safe." Yes, he was flirting with her, but she was okay with it. Tuck wasn't in bed with her and Brianna was feeling just good enough that she didn't really care if there was phone-flirtations. If James really was cheating on her, then she deserved to have some fun too. "Why don't you just ask me what I'm wearing," she added, pressing her palm to her heated cheek.
God, that laugh. He hadn’t completely forgotten what it sounded like, but a memory was different than hearing it out loud again. Brianna’s tone was shifting into flirtatious territory too, and it gave Tucker more of those tingles. “Nah, fuck boring and safe, that’s boring,” he said, half grinning as he got a rush of warmth to his groin. Tucker dipped his voice down lower and let a bit more rasp seep into it. “So what are you wearing, Brianna? Since you brought it up ... you can even lie to me if you want, I’ll never know.” There was still a teasing lilt to his tone, but now Tucker really wanted to know if she would tell him anything at all, or just laugh. He shifted his leg a bit to pull the pillow tighter in against his crotch, and the pressure felt lowkey nice.
Boring and safe was boring, wasn't it? Did that mean she was boring? Because she was okay with things being safe? James was safe. He was handsome, intelligent and financially stable. She did love him. He was the father of her children. They did butt heads a lot, but that was passion, wasn't it? Even so, he was away again and Brianna was sleeping alone. It was nice having Tuck's voice in her ear. He didn't know much of anything about her now and that felt pretty good. Brianna arched a brow, smirking a bit at his question, since she knew he was going to ask. She had on comfortable pajama bottoms and a tank top, but like he said, she could lie. Did she want to push some boundaries? Licking her lips, Brianna closed her eyes, like it might help her lie easier. "If I wanted to lie, I would just say I'm naked," she said, trying to keep her voice light and casual, though perhaps a bit of huskiness slipped into it as well. "But it's just a silk negligee. Light pink with lace above the breasts. Nothing fancy." Her lips twitched briefly. "Your turn."
Tucker closed his eyes too and tried to visualize it as she said the words, and the image that came into his head was beyond lovely. It probably wasn’t accurate, but who gave a shit? He couldn’t see her or vice versa, just like it used to be back in the day, and he preferred it that way tonight. These days people trying to hook up always wanted to trade pictures, nudes, and Tucker just wasn’t a fan. Even if Brianna would stoop to send him one, it seemed like it would spoil something sweet and nostalgic they were weaving together. He’d always had a good imagination anyway. Tuck made a growly sound of appreciation and scraped his teeth over his bottom lip. “Light pink always did look amazing on you,” he murmured. “I’m just in boxer briefs and a tank, both black, and these hotel sheets.” It was somewhat of a lie on his end too, he still had his jeans and button down on over top, but Tucker could shed those pretty quickly. “... nothing underneath?” He smirked a little, curious to see how far she would let him go.
Black. Gods, he’d always looked good in black. Brianna tried to picture it now, even though she had no idea what he looked like these days. He’d had the luxury of finding her on Facebook but Brianna was simply going off of memory and his voice. The turn the conversation had taken sent sparks of heated excitement through her body. It was wrong, but that was certainly part of the appeal. Right now she didn’t care if Tuck was lying or not, she decided to believe him, just like he’d decided to believe her. “Nothing underneath. Silk always feels better on bare skin.” Brianna confirmed, her free hand dropping to her tank top where she tugged at the cotton. She wished it was silk now. Dammit. Obviously she owned a couple silk negligees but she usually only wore them on special nights with James. “So you’re in your boxer briefs and I’m in lingerie and we’re both alone.” Her voice was softer now, her heart a jackhammer in her chest. “What would you do right now if we were in the same room together?”
Heat lanced through Tucker’s body and blood rushed into his cock at that question. She was really going for it, wasn’t she? It was fucking sexy, and the taboo of it was no small part of that. Brianna was in the bed she shared with her husband, asking him what he would do to her if he was there -- no, if they were in the same room. That felt like a relevant difference. Tucker rolled onto his back to use his free hand to start unbuttoning his shirt, the front of his jeans already getting uncomfortable. “I would just look at you first,” he murmured, eyes still closed as he pictured the scene in his mind. “Look at how your hair falls around your shoulders ... how that silk hugs your curves. Then I’d start kissing you, from your hand up your arm, to your neck.” Tucker found that he didn’t have to reach very far to find the words, he knew exactly what he would do if she was within arm’s reach. His hand fell to his crotch to give a squeeze, unable to help himself. “Think you’d like that?”
It had been a long time since Brianna had dated anyone, or even had to deal with men who weren’t her husband, but she had assumed Tuck would go straight to talking dirty about her body. The fact that he started with wanting to kiss his way up to her neck certainly threw Brianna for a loop, but only for a few moments. They had a history, after all, and when they were together in high school, it hadn’t just been about sex. Swallowing hard, Brianna kept her eyes closed, wanting to picture everything he was describing. The nice thing was, she had memories of their time together so long ago and she could remember how Tuck’s lips had felt. Her hand drifted over her stomach, toying idly with the desire to slip beneath the waistband of her pajamas into her panties. “As long as your hands were on me, I think I’d like just about anything you would do to me.” Right now that was absolutely true. “It would be really difficult not to just start stripping all of your clothes off. I never was very patient, was I?”
Tucker laughed, soft and affectionate. “No you were not.” He had wonderful memories of the way Brianna would sometimes pounce him when they were younger and insatiable. After getting so many cultural messages claiming that girls didn’t even like sex, much less hotly desired their male partners, it had always made him feel so sexy and wanted. Even when he was a lanky, pimpled teenager. He wondered if Brianna was picturing that version of him now, wondered what she would think of his broadened shoulders and beard and chest hair these days. He’d probably never find out, but he liked to think that attraction would still be there. “I would let you get my shirt off, at least,” he went on. “But you gotta wait for the rest. Because I’d be busy kissing your neck and shoulders while I run my hands over all that silk ... I wanna caress your tits, feel your nipples get hard under my fingers ... are they hard now?” He certainly was, and Tuck tugged the fly of his jeans open to slip his hand inside.
Yes, she did remember Tuck in vivid detail, but it was easy enough to imagine him older now. His voice was certainly doing it for her. Brianna was thrust into the past, remembering how Tuck's hands had felt on her when they were just teenagers. Were his hands rougher now? Calloused? Maybe he wasn't someone who had to do a lot of hard labor, but it didn't matter. This was all fantasy, after all. She knew how insatiable she had been when they were together. Tuck hadn't been her first lover, but he had been the first lover that she had loved and somehow that had made it more intense. With every word he said, Brianna's throat grew tighter and her hand slipped up beneath her tank top to slip over her breast. "Yes," she breathed, not having to lie about that. Her nipples were tight and aching and she played with one, the heat between her thighs starting to throb. "I'm playing with them now," Brianna murmured. "Wishing it was your mouth instead of my fingers. Are you hard, Tuck?" She knew he had to be. It had never taken Brianna very long to get him going in high school and the way his voice sounded now, she knew he had to be craving her.
God, to have his mouth on Brianna’s breasts again? Bliss. Tuck knew they probably looked very different from how he remembered them, after almost twenty years and three kids, but he didn’t care. He would devour all of her again in a heartbeat, whatever the changes. He couldn’t really say he was still in love with her, because that would be crazy after all this time ... but the way she made his heart race and his chest feel constricted was proof enough that there were still tangled emotions there. Knowing he was turning Brianna on made his whole body feel overheated, and his toes curled as he squeezed his cock through his boxers. “Hard as a rock,” he breathed back, totally engrossed in it now. Tuck pushed the front of his clothes down to free himself and gave a soft groan as he wrapped his hand around his bare shaft. “I can almost feel your nipple against my tongue, between my teeth ... pinch it for me, Bri, while I run my hands up under your negligee to touch your hips, your ass ...” He was losing track of the grammatical rules of this little story, but that didn’t seem to matter.
While Brianna's views on love may have turned a touch cynical in the past few years, she could certainly acknowledge that first love was an extremely powerful emotion. Would she be on the phone this late at night with any old boyfriend, listening to him describe in graphic detail what he wanted to do to her while she was playing with herself? Probably not. But Tuck had been special and maybe she knew that he wouldn't show up on her doorstep after the night had ended and they both hung up the phone. Brianna was breathing heavily now, doing what he instructed and pinching roughly at her nipple. Sparks of arousal continued to shoot through her body, more heat pooling between her legs. She could practically imagine what it would feel like to have his hands on her bare skin again, running over her ass, gripping her tight. Unable to resist it any longer, Brianna slipped her hand down and into her pajama bottoms, beneath her panties until she could slip her fingers down over her heat. She was wet and that first brush of her clit sent a shudder down her spine. "I can remember how you tasted, when I had your cock in my mouth," Brianna murmured, starting to rub her clit firmly. Her toes pressed into the bed as she drew her knees up and apart. "I wish I could do that now, run my tongue all over you before I sucked you deep into my throat." When was the last time she had talked dirty in bed? It had been years but it felt natural now, with Tuck on the other end of the phone.
Just hearing her say ‘cock’ made him throb, and Tuck let out a low groan as he gripped himself tighter. They’d been practically kids when they were together, insatiable and full of hormones, but too inexperienced for a lot of this explicit kind of dirty talk. So much of Tucker’s awkward self-consciousness had melted away as he matured, and that included shyness about his sexuality. Brianna had obviously grown up too, and everything felt electric and so goddamn hot. “Fuck, you were always so good at that,” he whispered. He’d been trying to dodge talking about how much he remembered, like it might make her uncomfortable, but if the past was free game, then that loosened his tongue up even more. “You made me almost come so many times before I could even get inside you. I loved to run my fingers through your hair while you sucked my cock ... I’m lyin’ down right now with my hard dick in my hand, wishing you were here to sit on it and ride me.” He let go of said dick for a quick moment to spit into his palm and lick his fingers, then reached down again to really stroke himself, his hips and thighs already feeling tight. It sounded like Brianna was doing the same, but Tuck was dying to hear her say it, so he prompted, “Are you rubbing your pussy under that negligee?”
Remembering Tuck certainly made this encounter all the more erotic. It had been so long since they had seen one another, longer since they'd touched, but she could recall certain parts of their relationship, the way he would touch her when she was giving him head, how he would bury his own face between her legs until she was screaming. It had been teenage love in its most passionate sense and that was something Brianna had never really let go of. She had just learned to live without it and move on with living. A soft moan escaped her at the mental image of Tuck jerking off now because of her. Gods, she wished he was there now, so she could ride him. It was arousal and nostalgia and so many things pushing those fantasies, but she couldn't deny them. "I'm so wet," she breathed. And yes, her fingers were moving faster over her clit, sharp pleasure shivering down her spine. "I remember how good you used to feel inside of me... your eyes would always get so dark right before you would come. I'm sliding two fingers into my pussy now, but god, I wish it was your cock." It was a marvel really, that Brianna was having phone sex right now, something she had never done with James. He would have probably fallen over in shock if he could hear what his wife was saying now.
The detail about his eyes made his breath catch, even more than the dirtier words. Not that he thought Brianna had forgotten the color of his eyes, but it was such an intimate thing to remember, a thing he wasn’t even aware of himself. All of the ‘wishing’ they were doing made part of his brain jump to wondering how quickly he could get a flight out there, if he could beat her husband home -- but that was completely divorced from reality. Tuck had no desire to disrupt Brianna’s life and make problems for her, at the moment he just desperately wished his psychic gift was teleportation so he could appear in her bed and fuck her again. “God, Brianna,” he moaned, his breath coming harder now. “Fuck, you’d feel so good, so hot and tight ... I’ve never had pussy so good, since you. Just your smell used to get me so fucking hard ...” He tightened his grip on his cock, his fist pumping steadily as shivers ran up his spine every few seconds. “Go deeper for me, baby, I wanna hear how good it feels.”
There were so many things about Tuck that she remembered, though they were memories that were locked away, rarely visited. So many years had passed since they had fallen in love, since she had broken his heart and moved on with her life... and he with his. But now that he was on the phone, with his voice in her ear, manipulating her arousal, so many things came rushing back to her. And somehow it was safer to think about their intimate moments, their first time together, the kind of sex they had when they were making up after a fight. Hell, she could almost remember how the backseat of his car felt against her bare skin when they wanted privacy and had to park somewhere secluded because there was nowhere else to go. That kind of love rarely lasted, which had been part of the reason why she had broken it off with Tuck. But now it was like no time had passed and Brianna panted, her hips lifting as she fingered herself, pressing two fingers deeper into her body. She didn't even care if he was lying about never finding anyone as good as her. He could lie about everything as long as he kept talking. It wasn't even the filth that got her hot as much as it was remembering the way things had been, at least with the sex. It was getting him off as much as it was her.
The harder she pumped her fingers into her pussy, the louder her moans got. She knew she needed to be quiet with the kids in the house, but Brianna doubted anyone was awake to hear her. "Are you going to come for me, Tuck?" Brianna breathed, her thighs tensing as the pleasure coiled in her belly. "I wish I could feel it... I'll never forget the times you took me home at night... my pussy dripping." There had been times they hadn't had condoms, but had been too horny to be responsible about it. Thankfully Brianna had been on the pill, but gods, she had loved those times when he'd come inside of her without any barrier. It had always been some kind of strangely carnal feeling, that he was somehow marking her as his. It hadn't lasted, but it had felt so good back then to think it could.
Tuck felt almost transported back to those days, awash in memories. He’d explored a lot more and had some great sex as an adult, but nothing had felt the same as those early days with his first love. Maybe that was true for everybody, maybe not. Tucker had been crazy about her though, even with the two of them coming from very different worlds. It had been the death of them as a couple, but damn had they burned bright while they’d lasted. He felt like he was right back in that cramped car, in his teenage bedroom while his parents weren’t home, in the gym locker room at school ... wherever they could find a place and a moment alone. Brianna’s voice had changed a bit, but those cries of pleasure still drove him mad.
He grumbled a few curses as his balls drew up tighter, edging closer to that sweet release. It was happening too fast, he wanted to cling hard to this moment, but it all felt too intensely good. He was stroking his cock faster and harder now, imagining Brianna’s body gripping him tight, pulling all that pleasure out of him. The mental image of his cum dripping out of Brianna, soaking through her panties while she jogged up the porch steps at her parents’ house ... “Yeah,” he panted, his hips starting to buck up a bit out of pure instinct. “Yeah I’m so close, Bri, and I wanna come in your pussy so bad. Look what you still do to me, I’d do anything to be inside you right now.” He groaned deep as he felt himself starting to pass the point of no return. “Come with me, baby, please, fuck, I need you ...”
“Oh god.” Her voice was strained as she thrust her fingers harder. There was no stopping now. Brianna didn’t think she could even if she wanted to. Tuck’s voice was an aphrodisiac in her ear and all she could do was imagine his weight on top of her now, his cock pounding into her body, taking them both back to the days when things had been simpler. Sweeter. Brianna came with a strangled cry, throbbing pleasure exploding deep in her core and pulsing around her fingers. She knew he would be close, if he hadn’t come already himself, and Brianna listened to every groan and breath of his, awash in so many emotions that it was hard to decipher exactly what they were. It took a moment to realize that her throat had tightened again and the warmth that had spread through her chest felt different. It wasn’t lust anymore, or even guilt. But something sadder. It wasn’t something to think about now, not while she had Tuck on the phone and her body was shivering with the aftershocks of her orgasm.
A few more breathy ‘fuck yeah’s came out of him as Brianna started coming. The sounds she made went straight through him into his cock, and Tuck went off just a few seconds behind her. His cock jumped and throbbed in his hand, hot cum splashing onto the clothes he’d lied about not wearing. He shuddered and moaned unsteadily while the pleasure flooded in, wringing out as much as he could until it started to ebb again. It left him breathless and trembly, his grip loosening around himself. It didn’t take long for a similar pressure to start weighing down on his chest as the reality of what had just happened started to sink in. They’d just had phone sex -- was that cheating? Probably. Just talking to each other had sparked enough chemistry to get them here, both still catching their breath and letting the pleasure fade, what did that mean? Tuck ached for her in an entirely different way now. He scraped his teeth over his lip and let out a soft hum after a moment’s silence. “Well that was ... unexpected,” he murmured, his tone gentle and a little unsure.
Unexpected was probably a massive understatement. Brianna had been woken up in the middle of the night by an old boyfriend she hadn’t spoken to in over a decade. And just like that she had cheated on her husband. If one could consider phone sex cheating. Which it probably was. Why didn’t she feel more guilty? Was it because she knew deep down that James was doing much worse? Or was it because it happened to be Tuck, of all people. The only man who had ever made her wonder “what if”. Brianna didn’t know what to think and she was feeling too sated and unsure to analyze it too much. At the moment though, she was longing for something that was completely out of reach. Tuck felt a world away from her, and not just physically. And one random night of phone sex didn’t mean she could blow up her life. For all she knew, Tuck was drunk and he would wake up in the morning full of regret. Would she? Brianna didn’t think so. But what did that mean? “Very unexpected,” she agreed, doing her best to keep the emotion from seeping into her voice. She drew her hand from her pants, resting it on her stomach. “I’m glad you called me,” Brianna added softly. “I didn’t realize how much I missed hearing your voice.”
Tucker knew he wouldn’t regret this for a second, except maybe to fret that he’d thrown a wrench into Brianna’s life without meaning to. All he’d wanted was to hear a recording of her voice, hang up without leaving a message, and maybe doze off and dream about her. He definitely hadn’t intended to end up like this. Part of him wanted to apologize, but he wasn’t sorry, and if he had actually been in the same room with her, he would’ve filled up Brianna’s pussy without hesitation, instead of creaming all over his jeans. Tuck shut his eyes again and soaked in Brianna’s voice -- she didn’t sound regretful either. It might crash in later, but he was grateful she wasn’t freaking out and hanging up. He took a moment to reply, so many different things running through his mind that wouldn’t be fair to say at all. She had a life and a family, and he was a ghost from her past who’d surprised her late at night, that was all. Tuck had to believe that or he really might hop a plane to Maine. “I’m glad you answered,” he murmured finally. “I can’t ... even tell you what-all I miss about you.” He winced slightly at himself and let out a soft sigh.
She didn't want Tuck to apologize because she didn't want him to be sorry. She wasn't sorry. Maybe some of the regret she did feel stemmed from regret that their lives hadn't turned out the way they had thought they would back when they were together. That was her fault, of course, but Brianna hadn't ended things solely for selfish reasons. Yes, she had wanted to make her parents happy, but Tuck was too smart to stay stuck in Point Pleasant. Now he was traveling, had freedom and was independently wealthy, things he wouldn’t have had in this dumb little town. Brianna didn't want things to shift into awkward territory, so she smiled softly to herself. "Okay, well... maybe just name one thing," she said quietly. "That would last me for a while."
It felt like they were close to dangerous territory here, but Tuck didn’t want to shy away from it. Their relationship had meant so much more to him than the sex, or how beautiful and charming Brianna was. They’d connected in ways he knew she hadn’t felt before him either. They’d been one another’s first loves, and that stuck with a person. Tuck swallowed and tried to sort through the jumble of things he suddenly wanted to say, trying to pick a ‘thing’ that wasn’t purely physical but didn’t cross some emotional line. Thinking was difficult at the moment, with the booze and post-climax hormones still in his system. “You never took shit from me,” he answered softly. “I miss that. And you were so smart and liked to talk about real stuff. And you lit up like the sun when you laughed. I’m sure you still do.” That was three things, but it was a drop in the bucket to Tuck.
Yes, he said three things but they all meant something to Brianna. Did she still light up like the sun when she laughed? Would James agree with that sentiment? Life was so much easier back then. There were days now when she had no reason to laugh… and no one to laugh with. But wasn’t that part of growing up? Being an adult? Things were never going to be as rosy as they’d been when she was a teenager. Brianna bit into her lower lip, trying to redirect the sadness into physical pain. Once she felt like she could speak again without her voice wavering, Brianna decided it was only fair to tell him something too. Because surely he had to be wondering. “You’re the only one who ever tried to get to know the real me. Not even my friends cared that much. You were always so passionate about the things you loved and you were never apologetic about it. That was one of my favorite things about you.” Brushing her fingers across her eyes impatiently, Brianna swallowed hard when she felt her throat closing up again. “I should let you go. I’m sure… you have a lot of the evening left to have fun.”
Tucker swallowed around the painful lump in his throat. He knew ‘fun’ was off the table for the rest of the night, he was going to lie there and marinate in regret and a longing that hadn’t felt so sharp in a long time. Maybe this had been a mistake, but hearing Brianna say those things about him almost made it worth it. Tuck’s mind tried to latch onto ‘the only one who ever’ ... had her husband not tried to get to know the real Brianna? Or was she speaking of the distant past? He couldn’t even say which option he truly hoped for -- he wanted her to be happy, but if she ended up divorced ... Tuck tried to pull his thoughts away from that idea, that was definitely dangerous territory. He wet his lips and his nostrils flared with a deep breath. “Bri, I ... I wish things had turned out different. I always have. And I don’t expect anything, I didn’t expect -- calling you was just --” Tuck made himself stop before he rambled himself into trouble. “I’m glad you picked up,” he murmured. “I hope you can get some sleep.”
She knew what he was trying to say, but she was glad he didn't say it. Brianna wasn't at a point in her life where she could blow it all up for a nostalgic maybe. As much as she loved that he'd called her tonight, Brianna still didn't know who he was now and he didn't know her either. That was for the best because she wasn't sure he would like who she had become and the last thing Brianna wanted was for his memories of her to be tarnished. Even so, the urge to ask him to call her again... or visit someday... was strong. There was so much to say, but it was so much safer to keep it to herself. "I don't expect anything either," she said quietly. It was time to hang up, but gods, she didn't want to. "Behave yourself, okay?"
Similar thoughts swirled through Tucker’s head -- who was to say they would still be in love if they were in the same town? He’d changed a lot, he was sure she’d changed a lot too. There was no guarantee they would fall for each other again these days. It was probably for the best that their feelings stay rooted in their memories, in the past neither of them had fully let go of. Tuck wanted to say something profound, tell Brianna that part of him would always love her, that she’d set the bar so high for other women in his life he might just end up a permanent bachelor, that he hoped she thought of him fondly sometimes. But what good would any of that do? It was time to let her get back to her life, and he to his. “Impossible,” he answered with a ghost of a smile. “ ... goodnight, Brianna.”
It was practically a guarantee that Brianna would think of Tuck a hell of a lot more now than she had before. There would be fondness attached, and probably something deeper than that. She didn't want to say goodbye and hang up. She wanted to ask him to talk to her more, tell her everything he had been doing since he left Point Pleasant. He could read her a book... anything... she just wanted to keep his voice in her ear. But Brianna knew that would probably make things harder in the end and it wasn't fair to him, since she was the one with a ring on her finger. The smart thing to do would be to hang up and put the phone call in the past with everything else. "Goodnight, Eddie." She was quick to press the end call button, aware she might cave and say more. With the call disconnected, she stared at the screen for another moment before setting her phone down on the mattress. It was going to be a very long time before she slept.