Who: Adrian and Kane When: afternoon, Sunday, July 8th Where: car, Kane's apartment Status: Complete, Part 1
He didn’t break the silence until they had left the grounds of the farm and the trees had closed in along the driveway again. Kane reached over to grab hold of Adrian’s arm, his steps slowing as he turned toward him to look into his eyes. “Adrian ... the wendigo ... that’s not something you’re actually planning, is it?” he asked, his voice low and his jaw tense. He couldn’t blame Adrian for a second if it was, but Kane needed to know if it was more wishful thinking than plan, or if he really needed to worry.
Adrian got a weird backwards deja-vu of asking Cruz something very similar, in a very similar location and he let the feeling rush through him, thick and heavy with guilt, letting it fade as fast as it came on. Adrian's answer was different and sure as hell wasn't planning on dragging Mila out there with him. "I wanted to, but..." he replied as he shook his head slowly. "You heard what she said." It made him feel a little defeated. If he couldn't kill the wendigo, even with the strength of one coursing through his veins, then what could? And what good was it being that strong if that monster got to live and keep killing people? Kane looked worried so Adrian shook his head more firmly and grabbed his hand. "I'm not going out there looking. I promise." He leaned in a little, looking up at Kane and searching his face for a second. "I'm coming with you on Friday though, you know that, right?"
It was a slight relief, but not completely reassuring. That ember of revenge could burn for an incredibly long time. If Adrian learned to control his own connection to the wendigo inside of him and got stronger, he might begin to think he could defy the odds and win. And maybe he’d be right, but the thought of the risk made Kane’s stomach coil up into knots. It didn’t seem like anything he was going to act on soon though, so Kane tried to relax about it. There were obviously more immediate risks to stress about. “No,” he said flatly, shaking his head a bit. “Not happening. I’m doing this one solo.” Adrian couldn’t guarantee he would be able to slip into wendigo mode, and Kane didn’t know if he could watch both of their backs and do this task for Cecilia at the same time. It was too risky.
"Mmhmm," Adrian murmured in a tone that said he didn't agree and he stuck out his jaw stubbornly as his gaze ticked over Kane's face. "I'm coming with you," he repeated and turned again to keep walking. He knew he'd be crawling out of his skin knowing Kane was out here by himself and while he had no real good arguments about why going with him was better, he was stubbornly clinging to that decision. Maybe he'd let Kane do it himself and just sit and talk to Cecilia, but he was going to be here for it, in case something went wrong, in case Cecilia was going to fuck Kane over, in case of something.
Kane let him walk a few paces away as he rolled his gaze skyward and took a quick breath. He turned and took wider strides to catch up, falling into step beside Adrian. “I’ve got this handled, you know,” he said. “I go into Blackwater alone all the time. I’ve been doing this a long time, Adrian, it’ll be fine. There’s no reason for you to come. And worrying about you will only fuck up my concentration.” He couldn’t even give Adrian a gun, for fuck’s sake, he was far too vulnerable in his human state for Kane’s comfort. He hoped this job would be as easy as it sounded on paper, but it was better to be prepared for shit to go sideways, because it often did.
Adrian didn't reply right away, mostly because he suddenly felt pissed off and was emotionally intelligent enough to know it was really fear and yet couldn't do a thing about it. "No it won't," he said as he tried to rein in that feeling and change it into something else, forcing himself to smirk instead of clenching his jaw too hard. "It'll make you sharper. You won't wanna fuck up." He gave Kane a sidelong glance. "And if you do fuck up, I'll fix you up. Field nurse, remember?" He was doing a decent job of containing that restless energy that wanted to be fear and anger and all sorts of things between, but just barely. His words felt tight, his body felt tense and he knew he didn't really have a case but that didn't mean he was going to just roll over and give up.
It was impossible for him to miss the signs of tension, subtle as they were. After spending the whole weekend joined at the hip, Kane felt pretty damn in tune with him. “Adrian,” he murmured, reaching to grab the crook of his arm again to make him stop walking. He wanted to pull him closer and touch his face, but Adrian’s expression was tense so Kane held back on the urge, just looking at him with a furrowed brow. “I can’t lose you. In a very literal way now, understand? Not like that.” He felt a bit like an awkward cliche saying it, but the low-pitched words were sincere. Kane hadn’t been able to protect AJ, but he could protect Adrian to some degree, or at least give it his best go. “It’s an unnecessary risk. If you gotta come, just ... stay at Cecilia’s, maybe? You two were hittin’ it off ...”
Adrian tensed more at the touch but Kane's words calmed that flare up of emotion down again to the sizzle it was before, knocking the fight out of him a little. "Well, out of the two of us, you're the one who's able to die," he said and the emotion cut through the dry way he said it in the slight quiver of his voice. None of this felt like a cliche to him, it was a very real fear for both of them, having lost people and almost themselves to violence and madness. He didn't hate the idea of staying at the farm, keeping a close eye on Cecilia. She'd said she could help keep Kane safe but he couldn't help but worry that she'd turn on them as soon as she got what she wanted. They probably knew too much, she obviously had big plans she wouldn't want them to fuck with and there was no way to convince her they had no interest in doing that. If he stayed with her, he'd make sure not to eat or drink anything he hadn't brought himself. He'd be watchful.
It stung a bit to be reminded of that, but that wasn’t Adrian’s fault. Kane still harbored a lot of guilt, it was his own problem. “We don’t know that,” he replied quietly. “Not about me, I mean -- what if you only got the one?” His voice dropped even lower and he tossed a glance around, like someone might be eavesdropping even though they were a good distance from the farm now. Kane slid his hand up to the back of Adrian’s neck for a little squeeze, like an invitation to get closer. “I got powerful magic working for me though, you heard her, right? And I’m gonna go prepared, this is what I do.” Kane gave him a wan half-smile. He hadn’t died yet, and he’d been hunting for a long time. This was just a new situation in a very dangerous setting, and he needed to be at his best and most flexible. “Please? Just give me this one,” he murmured.
Adrian closed his eyes at the feel of Kane's hand on the back of his neck, large and warm and rough. It felt almost like a reset button, helping him rein in more of his emotions. "God, I hate you," he said quietly, because Kane was getting to him but there was no real bite behind the words and they both knew the opposite was true. "Okay. I'll stay on the farm. But I'm coming here with you." He opened his eyes again, frowning at Kane as he gave him 'just this one'. Really he didn't have a leg to stand on here, he wasn't a hunter, Kane was probably right that he'd hold him back one way or another and that he'd done this countless times before. But those times were before Adrian loved him, things were different now. "You wouldn't even have to do this if it wasn't for me."
Relief flooded Kane’s system, stronger than he would have expected. He knew this wouldn’t be the only time their wills clashed over this sort of thing, there would be other hunts Adrian would want to come along on. Not all of them would be this dodgy and mysterious though, so they would just have to assess each one as it came, Kane supposed. Adrian didn’t look like he wanted to punch him anymore, so Kane pulled him in closer, wrapping arms around him and gently clunking their heads together. “That don’t mean it’s your responsibility to clean up,” he murmured. “There was no way for us to know.” It wasn’t Kane’s responsibility to clean up either, but he was the only one around who could do what needed to be done. He didn’t know how that collector-monster came to be, but the world didn’t need another one out roaming around. Kane gave Adrian a squeeze and kissed his temple. “Thank you.”
Adrian wrapped his arms around him, a bit begrudgingly, but that was more for show than anything, and then he squeezed him back with a little sigh. He kind of wanted Kane to just retire now, stop hunting, never go back into those woods, but that wasn't something he could ask of him. Even if this relationship was super serious, it would feel wrong. It was just another damn reason why this whole thing was a bad idea. A wonderful, feel good, horrible idea. He felt like shit now, having killed that thing, like maybe it hadn't deserved it somehow but Kane was right, they didn't know anything about it and it had certainly seemed like something that could become a threat to everyone in town. He focused on the gentle way Kane thanked him instead, tried not to think about how they had to part ways soon because he just wanted to go to Kane's place and stay with him a little longer.
Kane knew he couldn’t read Adrian’s mind, but he knew the thoughts he would probably be having, if their positions were reversed. Even if this whole thing ended up being a bad idea, it was obvious that they both wanted to protect each other. It felt like a warm glow in Kane’s chest and it meant so much. He just hoped the stubborn streak they had in common wouldn’t be the thing that came between them. Kane held onto Adrian for another lingering moment, his hand sliding up into his hair, then pulled back enough to give him a soft kiss. It wasn’t the most romantic setting, on a dirt road surrounded by cursed forest, but it somehow felt right for them anyway. They’d bonded a lot in those trees. “C’mon,” he muttered with a little smile, ruffling Adrian’s hair. “Let’s get outta here.” Not that Kane was eager to get back, because then Adrian would be driving away, but that was unfortunately inevitable.
Adrian would have enjoyed all that far more if he wasn't feeling so off and a little sad that this weekend was coming to an end. Monday was looming like a different breed of monster and he didn't really feel ready to go home. At the same time it felt stupidly clingy to ask if he could drop by Kane's place for an hour or two before going home. His steps felt heavy as they headed to the car, his hand lingering on Kane's back for a few seconds as they walked. He wished he could move into Castle View now, wished he was out so he could just tell Mila he was gonna crash at his boyfriend's place. She'd appreciate him being gone, he was sure. The house felt crowded these days. He didn't want to tank the mood, but it was hard to push the worries and lingering sadness away and god he felt like a party pooper. "At least I know your tattoos still work," he said, a small consolation if he chose to believe Cecilia. "That's something, right?"
“Yeah, that’s something,” Kane agreed, his own tone lighter than Adrian’s. He felt better about it all now that he knew Adrian was going to be somewhere safe -- assuming he was safe alone with Cecilia. That was a ‘trust no one’ rabbit hole Kane didn’t want to fall down or he would talk himself out of all of this and kidnap Adrian to run away to some other place, far away from here. He had to remember that Adrian wasn’t helpless, he’d survived shitty circumstances for a long time, and there was always the chance that his badass side would take over if he ended up in danger. He definitely didn’t need Kane’s protection in that case. He could see the SUV up ahead, and Kane pulled out his keys, flipping them around on his forefinger idly as they walked. He glanced over at Adrian. “You gotta be back at a certain time?”
It wasn't an outright invitation but Adrian could hear it between the lines and he looked back at Kane, his expression softening and some calm washing over him. "No," he said quietly and felt like a far longer sentence, gratitude, hope and relief clinging to the one word. It was funny how there could be two separate conversations taking place with people, one spoken and the other not. "You got something in mind?" he asked, the corners of his lips raising just a smidge. It was ridiculous the things Kane did to him. Just watching him move made something inside of Adrian quiver pleasantly, the subtle little things like the way he tilted his head, the low and sweet rasp of his voice. It was soothing but at the same time it could rile him up so fast.
Oh how Kane loved to make those lips turn up, however subtly. He understood that sub-level of the conversation more by instinct than anything conscious, and the shift in Adrian’s mood was loud and clear to him. Kane couldn’t help but smile back at him, almost like a reflex. “I dunno, you could hang out. Help me unpack.” His eyes crinkled again with a bit of wickedness. Maybe it was too soon to start flirting, but he wanted Adrian’s mood to keep improving, and that seemed to do it for the both of them. Unpacking was just going to consist of Kane dumping the contents of his bag into the laundry basket, so he obviously didn’t need help with it. What he did need was more of Adrian, for as long as he could keep him.
"Yeah, I could do that," Adrian drawled and maybe it was stupid how much better that made him feel but not having to go be alone with the family after this weird event was a good thing. They could hopefully distract each other to cool down and Adrian could go home a little happier. "You're so fucking helpless," he teased as he approached the passenger side of the car, fully aware that Kane didn't need any damn help, with the laundry or hunting, but it made him smile a little wider and he just loved that look on Kane's face and the little bit of banter that came so easy with them. He grinned at Kane over the roof of the car before getting in, feeling like some weight had lifted off his chest.
“Yup, that’s me,” Kane agreed, amused as he climbed in on his side. It was kind of ridiculous how easily they could cheer each other up, but he wasn’t complaining. Kane had rarely met anyone who actually improved his mood like this, and never after conflict like they’d just had, mild as it was. He didn’t know if it was a good sign or if it just meant he was stuck in this honeymoon mindset that was going to fuck him over in the end. He wasn’t worried about it today though, it all felt too good for now. Kane drove them the rest of the way down Witcham and back toward the apartments, all of his procrastination about going home gone now that he knew Adrian was going to stay for a little while. He parked in his usual spot, glancing at him as he reached for the door handle to climb out.
Home sweet home. It was on the tip of Adrian's tongue, not just for Point Pleasant but for Castle View as well. He really hoped he could get a place here and he made a point of glancing at the post boxes as they headed inside. It might not mean anything, but there were a few without labels on them and it sure as shit got his hopes up. He could feel the restraint returning to his body just being here, like someone had wrapped chains around him to make sure he didn't reach out and touch Kane in an inappropriate way. He hated it, that tension and that paranoia sinking back in, reminding him just how far away from being free he really was. Kane's apartment was the sanctuary here and he felt like he could breathe a little easier when the door closed behind them. "If you wanna order something in, I can tell Mila I'm getting food on the way home," he said as he pulled his jacket off. "Then I can stay a little longer."
Kane kept his hands to himself -- a small miracle on its own -- as they made their way up to his apartment, but he could still feel Adrian getting more tense. It was like a stressed vibration that came off of him, and it hurt Kane’s heart a little. There were a lot of downsides to not having a close loving family, but he was somewhat grateful that he’d never had to pretend to be someone he wasn’t in his everyday adult life. It seemed exhausting, and it made him want to shake Adrian by the shoulders and tell him to come the fuck out, even if he never told anyone about them specifically, for his own sake and the inevitable future boyfriends’. Kane locked up behind them and chuckled faintly at the suggestion as he lifted each foot to tug his boot laces loose so he could kick them off. It sounded like such a clever-teenager-dodging-parents plan. “Sure, yeah,” he murmured as he stepped in closer and slipped an arm around Adrian’s waist. “What kinda food you want?”
"I really don't care," Adrian said honestly, because all he really wanted was more time. He wasn't hungry right at that moment so the decision could wait anyway, he just wanted to let Mila know so she'd think he was driving and not text or call him while he was here. He tossed his jacket aside and wrapped his arms around Kane, leaning in against him and letting the solid and strong form of his body soothe him. "I really hope that lady's friend has some boundaries," he murmured. "And doesn't barge into other people's homes." He had decided this was the case and whether it was true or not, he needed to believe it or he'd go stir crazy thinking they were always being watched. "I really just wanna be alone with you right now."
He thought of how Cecilia had seemed to know he had a shotgun behind the door when she’d first shown up, and decided not to tell Adrian about it. Plus there was the fact that her ‘friend’ had known about them in the first place, when they’d mostly been together behind closed doors. Kane didn’t want to think about being spied on all the time either, so he was going to do his best not to. “If it is, we’ll show it what it’s missing, not havin’ a body,” he murmured with a little smirk. Kane swayed them a tiny bit, just because it felt nice, and kissed the side of Adrian’s head. He wasn’t hungry either, so there was no real point to ordering anything. Adrian could just lie to his sister and they could do whatever they wanted for another hour or two. Hopefully two. Or three.
Adrian closed his eyes and just enjoyed the swaying for a few moments, grinning faintly at Kane's quip. This whole invisible friend business just reminded him of feeling weird about jerking off as a kid, thinking angels, dead relatives or God were all watching and judging. It made him not really care that there was one more invisible thing possibly gawking at them. Kane also made him feel a little more carefree in general, the little things just mattered less in light of all the big feelings he had for him. He opened his eyes again and leaned back just enough to catch Kane's lips in a kiss, more than happy to stop thinking about everything that was happening, if only for a little while.
Kane had never been bothered by any thoughts of invisible judges watching him do anything, maybe that had been part of his problems. Though if someone had told him God was watching him masturbate, he probably would’ve just beaten it harder and more frequently in defiance -- which honestly would’ve been a challenge, he’d been stupidly horny from an early age. If there was a Hell, Kane was going for many more reasons than that. Eternal damnation was very far from his mind at the moment, since Adrian’s body and mouth felt heavenly against his own. Kane exhaled slowly through his nose as he returned the kiss, his arms wrapping tighter around his man. Adrian did belong to him, even if no one else ever found out about it, even if it ended. They knew, they could feel the bond, and that was all that mattered for now. Sliding one hand up Adrian’s back, Kane parted his lips to kiss him deeper.
Maybe they should be talking about everything, making strategies, brainstorming to try to figure out what all was happening. Adrian didn't feel like doing any of those things, just thinking about it was tiring and coming up with theories didn't mean they'd have any actual answers. He wanted this instead, to just enjoy the moment and the way Kane felt and tasted. After a while he broke the kiss though, giving Kane a dazed little smile that said that he definitely felt better now. "I'm gonna text my sister so she doesn't ruin the mood later," he murmured, running his fingers through Kane's hair as he studied his face. "And then I'm all yours."
Kane tended to strategize on the fly -- years of combat and hunting for a living had taught him that he couldn’t factor in every possibility. Trying to predict the whys could drive a man crazy. There was only so much planning he could do, and he tried to do it while staying flexible in the field. There were still plenty of days between now and then to mull it all over. He and Adrian didn’t have a lot of private time left, and Kane wanted to use it wisely. He huffed a bit through his nose, smiling faintly, and squeezed his sides before he pulled back. “Yeah, I promised to let Bailey know when I was back,” he murmured. “And I gotta piss, so. Make yourself at home.” Kane pulled his phone out of his pocket as he headed toward the hall bathroom.
Calling was probably a better idea anyway and so Adrian used the chance while he was alone to do just that. making sure Mila didn't get paranoid the way he would if their roles were reversed. Anyone could send a text, hearing his voice was probably better. When he was done he helped himself to Kane's fridge and grabbed a soda, trying not to listen in on the conversation he was having in his bedroom though judging by the length of it, it wasn't anything worth eavesdropping on anyway. He was comfy on the couch by the time Kane joined him again and he patted the seat next to him, giving him a little grin. "All sisters taken care of and calm, yeah?" he murmured, reaching for Kane when he was close enough.
The conversation with Bailey was as short as he’d expected it to be, just a brief confirmation that he was alive and home and fine, with a bit of ribbing from her about going on “vacation” with his boyfriend in the first place. Kane informed her she was just jealous and made kissy sounds at her as he hung up, smirking softly to himself. Maybe he didn’t have a family that was lodged straight up his ass like Adrian’s, but it was nice to know someone would give a shit if he’d disappeared somewhere between here and Portland. While he was in his bedroom, he changed into some more comfortable pants, then headed back out when Adrian didn’t appear. Kane flopped down next to him and gave a little snort. “As taken care of as she ever is, yeah,” he said with obvious affection. He settled his arm comfortably around Adrian’s shoulders. “Yours? Was she ready to send the cavalry out to find you?”
"Just about," Adrian sighed but he smiled anyway before taking a big gulp of his soda before putting the can down on the table and leaning in against Kane. It felt like every time he had physical contact with him of any kind, he wondered how he'd gotten by for so many years without ever feeling that. It was for sure balancing some vital chemicals in his brain, sparking off some happy pheromones. He tilted his head back to look at Kane, resting his hand on his thigh and giving it a squeeze. "I can't say shit, I need to check in on her too all the time, even more now after the hospital." He paused, grinned and nudged Kane gently. "Where you were the cavalry."
Kane too felt like he could conquer the world -- or at least tolerate it much easier -- whenever he was touching Adrian. Humans really were just simple monkeys at their core, so many things could be soothed with food and rest and physical contact. He was used to seeking out sexual gratification from other people and getting his fill of touch that way, but this whole thing was reminding him of the deep well of affection he’d kept blocked off for years, and how good it felt to indulge. Adrian’s hand on his thigh made him feel warm in ways that had nothing to do with his dick ... at least not completely. He snorted a bit and lifted his hand to ruffle Adrian’s hair from behind. “It wasn’t no big deal, driving people around is my job,” he drawled, but his smile was pleased. “Least I already got a good foot in the door, yeah? If, y’know ... you ever decide to tell her.”
"I could definitely use it to justify it some," Adrian agreed and tried not to let the thought of coming out overwhelm him or get stuck in a spiral of wondering if Kane actually wanted him to come out more than he let on. There were now three people in their lives who knew about them and that felt like too many. What was that quote about three people keeping a secret? Two had to be dead? And that wasn't even including him and Kane. Five. Five people knew. It practically felt like it was plastered on the front page of the Point Pleasant Gazette already. "I can tell her that you being so good to her is what made me gay in the first place," he added, trying to keep it light. "Couldn't resist such a handsome knight in shining armor."
He laughed and shook his head a little. “Then I corrupted you, the good innocent Catholic boy,” he murmured, his tone also light. Mila would see right through an excuse like that, so it would be an amusing way to start. Kane suspected that if that conversation ever happened, Adrian would not feel like joking around about it. He fell silent for a moment, stroking Adrian’s hair once or twice as he gazed at him. “You know I’m not like ... chomping at the bit for you to come out so we can slide into some Hallmark movie life, right? I just see how much it stresses you out and I think you should get to live your life how you want, you know?” Kane was pretty sure he wouldn’t know what to do with a loving family even if he suddenly found himself in one, he would probably fuck it all up and make a mess of things. “Even if it ain’t with me,” he added softly.
"Wait, you ain't even gonna give me the Hallmark movie life?" Adrian scoffed, even as he snuggled in against Kane, resting his head on his shoulder. "Why am I wasting my time on you, then? I was picturing like, a white picket fence with shitloads of magic symbols to ward off evil. The perfect Christmas love story." He arched his neck and angled himself to nibble on Kane's neck. "And you deprive me of that." All jokes aside, he wasn't exactly capable of picturing some picture perfect future for the two of them, he just knew he didn't want it to end and the thought of someone else made his guts feel cold and hollow. Sure, he could probably love someone else given time, but it was impossible to imagine and it meant losing this first and it made him want to cling to Kane even harder, do something drastic to make sure he couldn't leave.
Kane never really dwelled on the future in a positive way, but he had enough imagination to picture what their version of perfect might be -- Adrian working as a nurse if he wanted, a warded house with a yard Kane could tinker with, lots of hot sex, maybe permission to hook up with a woman now and then if the itch got too strong, control over the wendigo so they could go hunting together ... freedom, most of all. A deeper understanding of each other than anyone else could ever give them. It all felt like a pipe dream, something to berate himself for wanting, because that kind of personal peace was impossible. Could he even sustain something like that? Be domesticated to any degree? Make Adrian happy once he was further along in healing from his own trauma? Kane didn’t know. It made his throat ache a bit with longing, but he didn’t want to be a downer, so he snickered as Adrian nibbled on him and tried to push it all down and away. The present moment was all anyone ever had anyway, he needed to stay in it. “I know, I know, I’m a bastard,” he murmured, reaching his hand over to lightly pinch and poke for any ticklish spots on Adrian’s side.
Adrian twitched and grabbed his wrist as he laughed, shaking his head in admonition. "Yeah, a real bastard," he agreed before moving to straddle Kane's lap, feeling like he needed to get even closer and unable to resist the urge to kiss him again. The funny thing was, if Kane told him the things he wanted, he'd probably melt right into it. Maybe not Kane hooking up with some random women on the sly but everything else. It was so similar to what he pictured sometimes when he was caught up in the clutches of wishful thinking, just something like this but without all the hassle and lies. He didn't know if it was sustainable either, barely dared to dream about it, but thankfully they didn't have to make any decisions. For the time being he'd effectively smothered the talk about coming out of the closet and was far more interested in the way Kane's lips felt against his own.
It was hard to think dark thoughts with Adrian’s warm weight in his lap, and Kane hummed contentedly as their lips met, sliding his hands up Adrian’s thighs. He really was fucking talented at dragging Kane away from the brink of a Mood, with those soft lips of his. It was just another thing he wanted around all the time. He couldn’t wait for this move to happen, because Adrian was making him spoiled as fuck with good feelings. Kane kissed him back indulgently, slow caresses before he parted his lips to taste him deeper, enjoying the sweet aftertaste of the soda on Adrian’s tongue. His hands wandered further up to dip under Adrian’s shirt to touch bare skin. By all logic, they should be sick of each other by now, ready for their own space and privacy after being so close together for days, but all Kane felt was greed for him.
Maybe it was true that absence made the heart grow fonder, at the very least the threat of it was a pretty powerful thing and Adrian felt like he needed to pack every minute he had with Kane with something meaningful to make their parting less uncomfortable. He had a feeling it would have the opposite effect though, the more he got the more he wanted. He loved feeling Kane's hands on him, loved raking his fingers through his hair as he kissed him and touching his face, tracing his cheekbones and jaw reverently. It always felt so good to sit on his lap but Adrian also liked it when their positions were reversed and that just made him feel even luckier. It was a whole lot of give and take and both of it felt selfish with the pleasure it gave him.
Kane was full on addicted to Adrian’s touch and something really got to him about feeling it on his face, those long artist fingers brushing over his hard angles and stubble. Wanting to be beautiful to someone seemed like such a feminized thing, part of him was ashamed of the desire, but it was there anyway, and that touch got it all stirred up. Luckily he was floating along happily in the warmth they’d created between them, so the shame was silent. Adrian was so good at making him forget everything shitty, no wonder Kane was hooked on him. All the kissing and closeness was turning him on too, and he found himself glad that he’d changed into jogging pants earlier as his cock filled out under Adrian’s ass. Kane caressed Adrian’s back under his shirt, fingers pressing in here and there just to feel the firmness of muscle and bone.
Adrian loved all those signs of arousal, both obvious and subtle, and he couldn't help but start rocking slowly against Kane's body, his own feeling restless with want, needing to move. He didn't feel like rushing though, content for now to sit on Kane's lap and soak up his touches. The closeness and warmth was quickly driving away the swirling thoughts in his head, letting him relax more and focus on the here and now. He smiled faintly against Kane's lips between kisses and moved one hand between them to tug up his t-shirt and slip his hand underneath it. Kane radiated heat against his hand and it felt like energy seeping through Adrian's skin, filling him with warmth and need for more.
The direct touch against his torso made Kane’s skin feel sparky, and he smiled back reflexively, then nipped at Adrian’s bottom lip. He loved this slow and sensual pace just as much as when they were tearing each other’s clothes off, which always amazed him a little. Kane’s hands slid down to cup Adrian’s ass and he squeezed firmly, humming as he kissed him deep again. His hips rocked up, his body seeking friction to go along with all of the heat. It wasn’t an urgent need yet, but Kane could feel the tension building in his balls already. “You’re so fuckin’ sexy,” Kane murmured against his lips, grinning briefly again. “I’m gonna jerk off every night you can’t come over.”
It wasn't easy, not letting that go to his head. Adrian believed him, he felt intensely desired whenever they were together and it brought him back to before all the trauma when he'd actually been confident and at ease in his skin. "Maybe I'll tell you not to," he threatened playfully, wiggling a bit against Kane and though it was hard to feel subtle things through his jeans, he was well aware that Kane was growing hard. "Maybe I'll tell you to save it until I can come over." He didn't normally get a kick out of control play of any kind but that was just another thing Kane made more palatable to him. He didn't really mean it, but the thought of Kane squirming with need was as hot as the thought of him jerking off was. "I always think of you when I jerk off," he added in a hushed voice, keeping his lips close to Kane's as he talked, just out of reach in a teasing way where he pulled back a little when Kane came closer. "I prefer doing it with you."
Adrian didn’t have to wait for the squirming, because just the thought of him controlling when Kane got to come made him squirm that very moment. He bit into his bottom lip at the kiss-teasing, hands kneading Adrian’s ass a bit more. “I always think about you too,” he whispered, a little smile lingering on his face. “Don’t even watch porn anymore.” He’d picked up his phone a few times to browse the internet just out of habit, but it had gotten boring so fast, his thoughts constantly drifting to Adrian anyway. Why bother when his very fresh recent memories were hotter than anything he could load on a screen? “What if you did tell me that and I did it anyway, what then?” he teased. “You gonna spank me?”
"Nah, you'd like that too much," Adrian replied but he couldn't really think of any actual punishment nor did he want to. "I'll glower at you and put spiders in your bed," he tittered, leaning in to brush their lips together briefly. "Or tie you to a chair and give you compliments. Something tells me that'd be worse than any spanking." He brushed their lips together again, his fingers finding the waistband of Kane's joggers, gently pulling. "I'll spank you if you want though, if you're into that." He thought of the slap, could almost hear it again and feel the burn in his palm. Something he never thought he'd do, just one of many things. Kane really turned his life upside down.
The threat of bed spiders or forced compliments were both uniquely terrible, and Kane snickered along with him. “You’re fuckin’ diabolical,” he accused. With a little huff, he bumped their noses together and hummed a negative sound. “Nah, that ain’t where I like to get hit.” He remembered that slap very well himself, and his body’s temperature seemed to go up another notch or two as he thought about it and wondered just what else Adrian would do to him, for him. Kane didn’t want to necessarily push his kinks onto him, but if he was into it too, the idea of having those fantasies fulfilled just added to the sense that they were perfect for each other. He wanted to give Adrian anything and everything he wanted too, even if it got weird, but Kane knew he was a much bigger slut than his boyfriend.
"Too bad, you have a nice ass," Adrian murmured but it wasn't really his thing either. Smacking Kane's ass in the heat of the moment was one thing but outright spanking seemed like it might feel silly. "Where do you like to get hit?" He asked, pointedly stroking one finger along Kane's cheek, a reminder he knew at least one place. "I won't do it unless you ask me," he added quickly. "I know you gotta be in a certain mood." Or did he? Maybe Kane liked it all the damn time, but that didn't seem like the case from their time spent together. Sometimes he was soft too, snuggly and warm. Adrian sure as shit wasn't going to smack him around in a mood like that. "But I will, if you ask. If I'm in the right mood."
Kane enjoyed a well-timed ass smack, but being bent over someone’s knee for a “punishment” had never been his thing. Denial and edging had always been much more appealing in that department. The finger on his cheek gave him a little internal shiver, and he squeezed Adrian’s ass again. He was wearing far too many clothes, but they were still taking their time. His body was getting antsy, but the rest of him was still relaxed and going with the flow. The reassurance that Adrian wouldn’t just haul off and punch him without prompting felt sweet but unnecessary. Kane knew that, and he gave him a warm smile. “Face, chest, back ... it don’t gotta be open-handed either,” he murmured. Maybe that made him Fucked Up, but it was just a drop in that particular bucket. “Bite, scratch, whatever ... but only if you get something out of it too, okay? No pressure.” He didn’t want Adrian to feel obligated to do anything he didn’t like doing on some level.
"You're such a fucking mess," Adrian murmured gently and bumped their foreheads together, unsure how to explain that yes, he did get something out of it, at least sometimes. There was some easy joke there about how Kane pissed him off enough to bring out a sadist in him but he didn't want to be a dick right now and chip away at Kane's self esteem. Sometimes it felt like he enjoyed it when Adrian was a jerk to him but that didn't mean he wanted to do it all the time. He lightly rubbed Kane's skin below his belly button, though he didn't go farther just yet, enjoying the light tease. "I shouldn't have to ask, you seemed pretty into it in the forest."
There was no argument there. Kane was sure his psyche was just messy bullshit and trauma all the way down, but he’d learned to live with it, more or less. For a very long time in his life, no one else’s opinion had mattered to him -- that was apparently changing, but being in love hadn’t changed the fact that sometimes his whole body craved pain and adrenaline. Weaving it into his sex life was at least less destructive than getting into bar fights all the time. Kane shifted his hips with a little hum, Adrian’s fingers so close to his cock but so far. “Your mess now,” he mumbled, a dazed sort of grin crossing his face. “I’ll give you anything you want too, you know. Just tell me.” He had some limits, but he was positive they weren’t anything Adrian would ever want.
"You're already giving me everything I want," Adrian replied and something about Kane's statement made his heart hurt a little because it made him realize how much he could hurt Kane, how much he could use him. He was just relieved he didn't want to do that, but it also made him feel weirdly protective of him. Protective, against himself? He guessed they were both a mess. This cut way deeper than just sexual stuff and he knew that. Kane would bend over backwards for him, fight for him, maybe even kill for him. Probably. Adrian didn't want to be sure about that but he kind of was. "You're all I want," he added before tilting his head to steal another kiss, letting their lips linger together for a few seconds before deepening it.
Despite how difficult it was for Kane to truly believe that -- that he was Enough -- he did love to hear it. His heart twisted and fluttered in his chest, and he drew a deep breath in through his nose as Adrian kissed him again. He didn’t advertise how much money he had, and he mostly kept to himself, so he hadn’t really been in a position to be used by someone he trusted. He’d probably gotten lucky to fall for someone like Adrian, who didn’t seem to want anything from him but him. Kane kissed him back with all that emotion behind it, his arms slipping further around Adrian’s body to pull him in tighter, that urge to impossibly merge their bodies rising in him again. He rocked up against him with a low groan caught in his throat, emotion and lust getting all tangled together inside of him like it tended to do around Adrian.