Adrian had already hated Kane and that feeling would be tough to top or even recreate, he couldn't imagine disliking him again, especially if things stayed like this between them. "I'm gonna get a place right next to you and you're gonna get so sick of me," he said and while it was a joke, it was a genuine fear - just like Kane's. God they were probably both so fucking stupid, scared and excited and hesitant, both so hurt and so jaded and yet this thing between them was brimming with hope. "Just don't-" he hesitated, licked his lips and took a few seconds to try to find the right words, Kane's cheek hot against his own telling him just how much emotion was really behind his words and that just made his own feelings even more tumultuous. "You make me want to come out, but I'm not ready. So don't... Is that okay?" He didn't even know what he would be coming out for, were they boyfriends now? Was Kane even the type of guy who could do relationships? Was Adrian?
Seeing Adrian enough to even potentially get sick of him sounded like heaven to Kane, and he found himself hoping Adrian could land one of the apartments on either side of him. It was so dumb and so sappy, but he wanted to be able to touch a wall and know Adrian was on the other side of it. He was already having creepy thoughts about exchanging apartment keys and going into Adrian’s place while he was at work just to smell him and be around his stuff. Kane was at least smart enough not to say that part out loud. His heart gave another one of those squeezing thumps and he pulled his head back enough to meet Adrian’s gaze, taking one hand off of him just long enough to swipe at his leaking eyes. “Yeah, that’s -- ... I don’t expect anything more from you,” he murmured, and cleared his throat. “So yeah, it’s okay. I’m not ... y’know, not really a ‘come over for Sunday dinner’ kinda guy, and all this is already ... a lot.” Kane shook his head a little and brushed his fingers over Adrian’s jaw. “I just wanna keep seein’ you, that’s all.”
'I love you' felt like it meant so much more than that but Adrian took comfort in the fact that this was all it had to mean for now. "You'll be seeing a lot of me," he murmured, giving Kane a crooked little smile. "I kinda feel like it's a challenge now, see how long it'll take to make you sick of me." He hoped the answer was forever, that it wouldn't take a month or something awful like that before things fell apart. He wasn't ready to let this go, wasn't sure if he ever would be. But Kane was right, he really wasn't a 'come over for Sunday dinner kinda guy', he wasn't a 'bring home and meet the parents' kinda guy either. He probably hated all that stuff and Adrian didn't want to risk everything they had by pushing him to do anything he hated. Not that he was in any rush to bring him home to meet the family, it was like he was living in two separate worlds that couldn't ever overlap.
Kane had no idea what he wanted long term, or if he even deserved to have desires for the future, or if he could even do long term. He’d lived a certain way so long, he wasn’t sure he could change even if he wanted to. His feelings for Adrian were overwhelming now, but he had no point of reference to try to predict how any of this would go. It was new territory for both of them, it seemed like, and while that made him feel less alone in it, he wished he could make all kinds of pretty promises to this man -- that he could patiently wait until Adrian was ready to come out, that he would fit in easily with Adrian’s family, that they could have some cute life together. It all felt so foreign in his head, a life that was only meant for Other People. But hell, maybe Adrian didn’t even want that picket fence shit. All Kane really knew was he would give him all he had, he would try anything Adrian wanted to try, he would do his fucking best not to get scared enough to shut down. “This is the most time I’ve spent with one person in over a fuckin’ decade, and I can’t get enough, so ... good luck with that,” he murmured with a ghost of a smirk. “And just ... whatever you want from me, you tell me, okay? And I’ll try my hardest.”