byflame (byflame) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2022-09-07 01:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | #july 2018, diego, diego x shane, shane |
Who: Shane and Diego
When: Early afternoon, Tuesday, July 3
Where: Shane’s house
Warning: Sensitive topics discussed.
When Diego had gotten the call that Shane had some stuff for him, he hadn’t been able to wait. The excitement was immediate like an electric shock. Oliver was at work and Haisley was out with friends, and he was sure either of them would’ve been happy to go with him, but Diego couldn’t wait that long. The keys to his full freedom in the modern world were within reach, in the hands of someone he trusted, and he was dying to touch and smell them and see how real they were.
He took an uber up to Overlook -- it was a nice day, but that was a long walk uphill, and Diego was eager to get there faster than he could’ve jogged it. He’d even freshened up a bit and put on a nicer shirt, like he ought to spiffy up for his new future. Or the two extremely attractive men in their big fancy house. Diego lightly jogged from the curb to the front door, already grinning as he pushed the doorbell.
Shane hadn't really expected him to show up right away so he was amused when the doorbell rang and he guessed it was Diego already. He jogged down to the hall and swung the door open, giving Diego a big grin before opening his arms in an invitation for a hug. "Been too long," he said as he hugged him and thumped his back, then ushered him inside. "You didn't waste any time getting here, huh?" He couldn't really blame him, he'd sounded so excited on the phone when Shane called to tell him the papers had arrived, Shane wouldn't have been surprised if he'd literally flown here from Seaview. He didn't look out of breath or anything though so he obviously had a ride.
Shane’s grin was met with a bright one in return, and Diego didn’t hesitate to step forward to give him an enthusiastic embrace. “Hope you don’t mind, you said whenever,” he said with a little laugh. If it wasn’t okay, it wouldn’t be the first social faux-pas Diego had ever made, nor would it be the last. Sometimes people were still confusing to him. He followed Shane inside, glancing around at the posh place with appreciation again. It was like coming over to hang out in an expensive hotel or something, pretty cool but slightly intimidating. “Was it all a lot of trouble?” he asked curiously.
"No trouble," Shane said dismissively and that much was true. It had been expensive but he knew Diego and Oliver weren't made of money whereas he was, so they didn't need to know that. "He owed me a favor," he said instead because favors were technically free if you didn't count what came before. "You want a drink? Or are you in a hurry?" The papers were in the kitchen so he was leading the way in there whether Diego wanted a drink or not. If he didn't want an alcoholic beverage, Shane could at least offer him a soda or something.
Diego vaguely wondered what it was like to be able to be so breezy about everything. It was a trait of Shane’s he admired. Even if it was a facade, it was an effective one. “No no, I was home alone and bored, so I have plenty of time. I’d love a drink,” Diego said. It wasn’t like he had to drive home, they only had one car and it was with Oliver. His eyes scanned the kitchen as they walked into it and he zeroed in on a manila envelope sitting on the breakfast bar. His heart leapt in his chest and he walked closer to it while Shane went to the drink cabinet. “Is this it?” he asked, excitement already in his voice.
"Yeah, dig in," Shane said and he didn't miss the way Diego was practically vibrating with excitement at this point. He couldn't blame him, papers like this meant freedom and security in more ways than just the ability to travel. "I used the worst pictures of you guys, my contact says that nice looking pictures in passports are a red flag. Everyone looks like shit in them, you know? Even me." The last bit he tacked on half-jokingly but still not, he knew he was hot so why play coy about it? "It's all clear for international travel too, you're in the system now."
Feeling like a kid opening a Christmas present, Diego dumped the contents of the envelope onto the counter and started straightening it out so he could see it all. He picked up the passport to look at the picture, giving a delighted laugh when he saw which picture Shane had deemed his worst. He couldn’t say he disagreed. “The man who got my current ID said the same thing,” he said, glancing up at Shane with a grin. He picked up the birth certificate that would make him a fake US citizen, and Diego’s throat suddenly felt a little tight. He couldn’t even really explain why it all meant so much to him, but it did, even beyond all of the practicalities. “They’re beautiful,” he murmured, unspeakably pleased.
Shane had never had to go through this. He'd gone by his real name until he changed it legally, his blood relatives could probably find him today if they knew where to look but he'd been off the radar for so long, they'd probably given up a long time before he resurfaced. He wasn't void of empathy though and he wasn't blind to how affected Diego was so he smiled warmly as he watched him with his new papers, then turned around to start making them some drinks. "Do you have plans already?" he asked. "Decided what you're gonna do first? Get a credit card, visit Canada? Go to college?" The clanking of ice in a glass was a nice touch to that list of nonsense things and he grinned over his shoulder. "Just don't frame it, that'd be weird."
Diego laughed a little, the sound full of the delight he was already feeling. “Would it be? Thanks for the tip,” he said jovially. He didn’t know everything about social norms, but he’d figured out by now that people didn’t frame their important papers. They locked them up safely instead, or lost them completely. Diego was going to take care not to do the latter. He helped himself to a seat on one of the barstools in the kitchen, still caressing and toying with his little passport booklet. “No, I don’t have it planned out yet,” Diego admitted with a sheepish grin. “I was a little afraid to hope it would really happen. But I definitely want a credit card, and to visit other places ... and marry Oliver. Now that it’s actually possible.” God, it made him want to hug Shane so hard. Diego flipped the pages of his passport instead.
That last bit sparked Shane's interest and since he'd just finished mixing up the drinks he hurriedly brought them over to Diego and set his in front of him before taking a seat. "Why do you wanna marry him?" he asked with rapt attention, the question far more curious than accusatory. "I mean, aside from the obvious love stuff. You're thinking about safety and contingency too, right? It's not all just romance." He sipped his drink after blurting all that out, hoping Diego might say something that rationalized how obsessed he had been with marriage lately. In Shane's mind it was because he wanted someone who gave a damn about him to take care of things if he didn't survive the AIR nonsense, it made sense, but lately it felt more and more like he just wanted to wrap some invisible rope around Reza to hold him even closer. He wasn't sure he necessarily liked that part, if it was love or something far more selfish and sinister.
A bit surprised at the sudden keen interest, Diego lifted a brow and laughed lightly as he picked up his drink for a sip. Hanging out a bit with Shane and Reza as a couple made him think they were very in love, but that didn’t always lead to marriage for everyone. “No, it’s not all just romance,” he said after a moment, looking over at Shane with a thoughtful expression. “If either of us ended up in the hospital long term, right now we don’t have any rights. If Oliver died I would have nothing, nothing is in my name. That’s always been a worry. If we try to adopt Haisley, being married will help immensely, that kind of thing. ... But a big part of it is romance.” Diego gave him a little grin. “We already committed long ago, and I don’t doubt any of it ... but making it official ...” He shrugged as he tried to find the words for it. “I want to be his and only his, forever. I know that sounds cheesy, but I feel it, so strong.”
"Last year I would have said that was cheesy as fuck," Shane told him and he knew that was true. He hadn't understood any of this even a few months ago but now he did and it was pretty wild. "I get it now though, I'm still kinda learning to navigate that whole thing though, I've never been sentimental. I asked Reza to marry me because if this whole thing ends up killing me I want him to have everything and he was so pissed off." He could laugh about it now and he understood why Reza had been mad but he felt like he was still learning to understand so maybe that laughter was a bit of a front. "So I guess I gotta work out my romantic muscles a little before I ask again."
Diego winced but had to laugh just a bit at how awkward of a conversation that must have been. It was hard for him to relate, as he’d always been emotional and sentimental, and he’d fallen earnestly in love with Oliver so quickly. Everybody was different though, and he could understand where Shane was coming from in a very pragmatic way. “I can see some romance in there,” he said with a little smile. “You want him to be taken care of if you can’t be around to do it? But nobody wants to feel like a ... a business partner with a marriage proposal. Most people, anyway. And he might think you wouldn’t want it if you weren’t faced with your own mortality right now, you know? Romance is about showing your desire.” Diego put some flourish on the word and clenched his fist with a fierce sort of expression. “For more than just the body.”
Shane laughed at that powerful exclamation but Diego was right, he was beginning to understand what Reza wanted, he just needed to be able to give that to him earnestly. "Yeah I get that now," he said, still tittering. "I'm just clumsy. I could seduce a frigid priest if I wanted to but this whole love thing has me fumbling around like a... I don't know. Something stupidly clumsy. And yeah, I guess I made it sound more like a business thing than anything else." He didn't need to get into the details of how he'd only just learned to say 'I love you' and not feel like a fraud, or that the whole concept of meeting Reza's family was terrifying to him but it was easy to talk to Diego and not only because they had the same background. "We both grew up in a fucking institution but you really learned way more about feelings and people than I did."
Maybe he was more emotional than Shane by nature, or they’d let him read too many classic books ... Diego gave credit to Oliver more than anything else. He’d come out of the institute with love already in his life, and from what he knew of Shane’s background, he hadn’t been so lucky. “They let me read too much, and I had a good teacher built in,” Diego said with a fond smile. “And I’ve had lots of practice since then, I’ve been very lucky. I was very clumsy at first too, but Oliver was patient with me. If Reza loves you, he’ll forgive it.” He reached over to give Shane’s shoulder a squeeze. He didn’t quite sound like he was asking for reassurance, but Diego wanted to give it anyway. He might have gotten good at love, but he knew that helplessly lost feeling in other areas of life all too well.
It might have felt patronizing from anyone else, but with Diego it did just feel reassuring and Shane was well aware that they were both stunted. He might not wish that for Diego but it was still nice to feel like they were on somewhat even footing. "I mostly watched movies and shows," he said and shrugged. "And not very helpful ones. I guess they all had to pass certain standards to be allowed in." It was a depressing thing to think about but he reminded himself that now he could watch whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. "I remember spending hours just playing Tetris," he huffed. "That didn't teach me shit about romance, but I think I have a pretty good grasp of arranging things in the most efficient ways possible." He drank to that and huffed a soft laughter. "You, me and Mal are the only ones who stayed that long. And Haisley? She's young but... she just got out, didn't she?"
Diego chuckled over the Tetris reference -- he’d never been allowed anything like that in his own facility, but he had been as troublesome as possible for them, so it was possible they’d just never wanted to give him the privilege. Or everyone was too concerned about the damage he could do with a broken television and controller. They’d seemed to try to keep him away from glass as much as they could. “Yes, she just got out,” he confirmed with a nod. “And they had her a while, I believe. It certainly stays with you.” There was no question that all of them had been crippled in various ways by their imprisonment and torture. He just hoped that they could help Haisley recover as thoroughly as possible, she deserved to have a full life. Diego smirked a little. “Did you give them hell while you were in? Somehow I think yes. Me, I tried to make as much trouble as possible. That was probably why they were planning to kill me.”
"Probably not enough," Shane said with a little smile. "And then probably too much all at once. She's lucky to have you." The quick change of subject back to Haisley was mostly due to the fact he didn't really feel like reminiscing about being a murderer. "I think she'll be okay, you guys caught her and now you have papers and can do whatever the hell it is normal people do. Are you gonna have a proper wedding? Party and all?" He'd never been to a wedding, maybe it'd be nice to actually attend one for real before he decided what he himself wanted to do.
The instant Shane went back to Haisley, Diego remembered the story and he almost apologized for being insensitive. But Shane seemed okay, just like he didn’t want to talk about it. Diego couldn’t blame him. When Oliver had set him free, he’d been prepared to crush anyone who got in their way, but looking back now, Diego was glad he hadn’t needed to. It surely would have haunted him, like the fire probably haunted Shane. Focusing on the future was much more pleasant than the past though, and he couldn’t help but grin brightly at the idea of he and Oliver having a wedding. He’d dreamed about it a ton, of course, but now it might actually happen. “Oh yeah, it will probably be more party than ceremony,” he said with a titter. “I don’t know when, though, we haven’t set any details. I just want it soon.”
"That sounds like way more fun," Shane tittered and he didn't think twice about whether he'd be invited or not because of course he would be! To the party at the very least. "What kind of ceremony would you want? I've only seen the classic movie style ones and some cute snippets online. I even tried looking up Gay Egyptian Wedding and fuck, Diego. Just... Fuck. Don't look it up." That had been depressing and had shattered his vague ideas of a colorful wedding that was probably an inaccurate mix of media portrayals that had little or nothing to do with Egypt at all. "Me, I'd just get some guy to sign papers, you know? I don't believe shit and I don't belong to any church or anything."
Diego made a pained face, already able to imagine what sorts of results that search would give. He’d been so sad to learn about all the homophobia out there as he was getting acquainted with the real world, even amongst people who claimed to be holy. It was especially depressing from those people. Diego’s family had instilled a belief in God in him by the very tender age when he’d been snatched, and it had stuck with him in spite of everything else he’d been through ... but he wouldn’t really call himself religious. “Maybe something outside? But by a man of God -- a good one, I know we will have to look,” he said with a chuckle. “We don’t belong to a church either, but I believe. But even if you don’t, the uh, the marriage person can always just talk about love and the two of you, you know? It doesn’t have to be religious or just papers, there is somewhere in the middle.” Diego offered him a grin. “Because I want to be invited to see it, you deserve a party too.”
"You'll be invited," Shane promised with a big smile because Diego had become a friend in the short time he'd known him, easily even. They had so much in common and those things were so integral to who they were as people, plus Diego was just so likable. He did want a party too and while that wasn't a good enough reason to get married, it played a role. A big party where he and Reza were the center of attention? It sounded amazing to him - until he remembered Reza's family might be there. That was a fear he should probably face before he moved forward with these ideas but that required going to Chicago and tolerating at least one night with a whole ass family. "Does Oliver have a family?" he asked between sips of his cocktail, more curious about Diego's dealing with all of that than he was about Oliver.
Diego considered Shane a close friend already too. He’d always warmed up to people quickly -- as long as they weren’t in white coats trying to torture him -- and he felt the same about how much he and Shane had in common in their background and the scope of their powers. They definitely could cause the most destruction if it came down to it, and that made them closer, in Diego’s opinion. Plus Shane just seemed like a really fun, genuine person, and Diego liked him. He just wished Oliver’s anti-power didn’t make him feel so weird. Diego gave a sad little hum and shook his head to the question as he swallowed. “Both of his parents passed away before I met him,” he said. “His mamá when he was very little, father when he was a teenager. No siblings. We were both so alone when we found each other.”
"That sounds... perfect for me and not for you, you wanna switch?" Shane said with a wan smile that said he knew it was a terribly morbid joke to make, but it was accurate. Dating an orphan would have been amazing for him, never having to face his family and make a good impression on people who were not the kind of people he was used to hanging out with in any way. He could imagine Diego was the opposite, that he'd love a big family, charm everyone's boots off and fit in right away. "I'm scared shitless of meeting Reza's family. I don't know how to deal with families. I couldn't even deal with my family after I got out, I just... Fucked off."
“You did not go back to them?” Diego asked, unable to hide the bit of dismay mixed in with surprise. Hadn’t Shane been a minor still? Too young to be on his own, for sure. If Diego had known where his family was or how to reach them, he would’ve been back home in an instant ... but maybe Shane didn’t have the same kind of family. Hell, Diego didn’t even really know for sure if he had the good kind of family, he’d been so young when he’d been taken. That was one thing he feared -- all of his positive memories being false or just a child’s rosy view of his world. “But I can see how that prospect is scary, yes. Is he very close with them? Is it a big family?”
Maybe it had been stupid to not go back but it wasn't something Shane could change now and he shrugged softly. "His parents are still together and he has two older sisters," he replied. "And yeah, I think they're pretty close. So not a huge family unless he's close to his cousins too but, still. Pretty huge to someone like me. I don't historically do great with families. My parents died and I was sent to live with my uncle and his family. Barely remember any of it before AIR whisked me away, it didn't feel right to go back there and try to find them again." He wasn't sure why he was telling Diego all of this, maybe because he didn't want him to judge him too harshly for running away and that dismay had been easy to pick up on.
It made more sense to Diego that Shane didn’t go back to living with an uncle, as opposed to his parents. He felt some sympathy for the other man, being orphaned young. Diego didn’t know if his parents were still alive, but he may as well have been an orphan himself. He nodded a little sadly as he listened, then gave Shane a small smile. “And this is your first serious relationship, right? I want to be optimistic and say his family will become your family in no time ... but it probably won’t be that easy. It took me a long time to adjust to even having Oliver as family, you know? Nobody taught us how to be close to people.” Maybe he shouldn’t assume that Shane was maladapted in the same ways he’d been, but Diego was sure there had to be similarities. AIR certainly hadn’t made socializing their subjects a very high priority.
"I'm used to bonding with people over sex, drugs, music and dancing," Shane admitted with a little grin. "Or, alternatively, trauma, woo!" He did a little fist bump in the air for emphasis on that before his grin faded a bit. "I have no idea how to relate to Muslim parents. Like right now I can compliment his mom on a good recipe and that's about it. But fuck, I am not the guy they're hoping their son brings home, you know?" He felt like Diego would do way better in his shoes because he was just such a sweet and likable guy while Shane felt like he was prickly as hell but maybe Diego would be just as anxious about it if he was in Shane's shoes. "Then again they probably weren't thrilled with the idea of their son bringing home a guy in the first place and they got over that..."
That was one thing they didn’t have in common -- Diego had never really experienced the party life. He’d gotten too drunk at a few bars in his time and had to be put to bed by Oliver, but he’d never really done any real drugs, and he’d only slept with his man. Even though he was too old for that shit now, part of him was a little wistful about all the young-and-stupid things he’d missed out on. Meeting a Muslim family seemed extra scary for some reason, and Diego winced a little at the last part. “Well ... then hopefully they’re enlightened enough to only care that he loves you, you know?” he suggested. He’d heard of such parents, so they had to exist, right? “Maybe Reza can write you like, a guidebook, before it happens.” Diego tittered and took a drink of his cocktail.
"You really think I'd be able to follow a guidebook?" Shane asked, only half joking about his inability to do just that. "I might be able to memorize a couple of things and maybe read half of it, you know?" He had no idea how he would have done at school, he hadn't done great at AIR with anything that required reading and these days he was so impatient he couldn't imagine that had really changed. "But I might pick his brain over time, I'm just not super good at being all... un-genuine? Is that a fucking word?" He didn't think so but his brain wouldn't supply a good substitute so as long as the meaning got across, he didn't think Diego cared.
Diego understood what he meant, and that was the only thing that mattered. He got words wrong all the time. “Is it un-genuine or is it just having a filter?” he asked, a bit of amusement still in his eyes. He didn’t want to diminish Shane’s anxiety over it all, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t be as bad as Shane feared, otherwise Reza probably wouldn’t be risking it. “Be yourself, maybe just keep the talk of all the sex and drugs to a minimum? Or maybe they’re a real loose family, who knows, right? Muslims are just people, and there’s all kinds of people.” Reza seemed fun and he was obviously cool with Shane’s history, so maybe his family was liberal and relaxed too. “Do you think he would take you if he thought it would all go very badly?”
"God yeah, he's an idealistic idiot," Shane blurted out before laughing and shaking his head. "Nah, I guess. Nah. He's smart. I just feel like my vices are written all over me, his mom will take one look at me and realize I'm a sinner. Kinda wish I could swap places with you, you'd get to go meet Oliver's big family and I'd only have Reza. Not that I want him to be an orphan or anything, you know what I mean." He didn't want to jinx anything, that was for sure, but he really was a little jealous of Diego that he didn't have to deal with Oliver's family, and yet that jealousy was so ill-placed because Diego would do just fine. "I just feel like if they hate me, Reza will realize how dumb this whole thing really is, you know? Which would probably be good for him but it'd suck for me."
Listening to Shane talk about it more made Diego think that this had less to do with Reza’s family and more with his own insecurities. So many things in life were that way, weren’t they? Diego thought he personally would’ve loved it if Oliver had a big family, as long as they just wanted to surround the two of them in love. Shane’s fear wasn’t completely unfounded, of course, there were tons of families out there who were judgmental and awful, and maybe Reza would be taking a real gamble on it all. “Or maybe if they hate you, it will drive him even further into your arms?” Diego suggested, giving a cautious little grin. “You look normal to anyone who doesn’t know you already.” He tittered, nudging Shane with his elbow. “But really though, I promise it is not as obvious as it feels. If they love their son, I doubt they will judge you too harshly just from a family dinner, you know? ... you love him, don’t you? That part should be obvious, and what else matters?”
"Yeah I do," Shane murmured with a sheepish smile. "I didn't really know that for sure until really recently though. I don't really know shit about love - but I'm learning." Maybe he already knew everything Diego was saying on some level, but it was so helpful to hear those words from someone he liked, and being told he looked normal felt weirdly good. Maybe a few years ago he would have argued that he 'wasn't fucking normal' but that rebellious nature was more suited for his twenties than it was his thirties and right now being normal and having a normal life sounded kind of nice; just as long as Reza was involved. "After I got out of AIR I kept running into random shit I knew nothing about," he said, knowing full well Diego would relate. "And Reza knows so many things, so many random things that make me go, how the hell does he know that and why? I can't even name an example, just random shit that everyone takes for granted and people like us never got to experience."
The ‘but I’m learning’ part made Diego feel all warm inside on Shane’s behalf. It did take learning, it had for him too. The emotional part of love came naturally and it was strong as hell, but it took learning and effort to make a relationship actually work. At least Shane and Reza had the benefit of not having to worry about money -- he and Oliver had struggled a lot over the years, and it was so easy to get stressed and pissy about that kind of thing. So it was good to hear that Shane didn’t just assume he didn’t have to work for it. Though Diego supposed they’d all been working for everything since their escapes, so maybe that was ingrained. He laughed a bit at the rest of what Shane said, nodding along. “That happens with me and Oliver all the time,” he said, amused. “Even still. We can laugh about it now, but I used to get so frustrated. Especially learning English, ugh, god, nothing makes sense.”
It was good to talk to someone who knew exactly what he meant, even if he'd preferred sparing Diego the pain of it all. Shane couldn't even think of an example, maybe because so often the things he had no clue about didn't really stick in his memory so he'd probably be just as puzzled by them the next time he ran into them. "Shit, at least I spoke English," he said, wincing with sympathy. "And I don't even speak great English, I meet these pompous fuckers with their big words and educated rambling and it might as well be Chinese. I'm really, really good at looking like I know what's going on though. The trick is this smile and a vague nod." He leaned in and showed Diego exactly what he meant, a somewhat bemused smile and a slight cocking of an eyebrow could go a long way in being vague. "Plus things like, 'I can't believe you're asking me that' or 'who doesn't know that' to throw them off. Just nod along and act bored, really."
That look on Shane’s face tickled Diego and he put his hands on his stomach as he laughed with delight. That was not a social deception he’d ever mastered, and so he’d spent a lot of his time looking confused as he tried to integrate with the outside world. Shane was obviously good at it though, if Diego saw that expression he would’ve definitely thought Shane knew exactly what was talking about. Still tittering, he wiped at his eyes. “I’ll have to practice,” he said. He didn’t think he was capable of doing so at the moment, since he couldn’t stop grinning, but maybe some other time. “I was never very good at lying, even the harmless kind. Oliver can tell you. He got nervous every time I made friends where we were living, worried I would tell them something about AIR ... which only happened a couple of times! Small things, mostly when I drank. It's hard to invent an imaginary childhood when I don’t really know what’s normal, you know?”
"God, I remember meeting normal kids for the first time in years," Shane said, visibly cringing as that memory seemed to get unlocked by Diego's words. "The rapid fire questions. Where are you from, where'd you go to school, who are your parents, what do they do? I remember straight up lying if I felt like I had to answer. At least I was good at that. Lying and mimicking people around me." Maybe he wouldn't have been if he hadn't had to land on his feet right away. Maybe having someone to protect him would have been a disadvantage, he was just glad Diego hadn't gotten himself in trouble with it all. After all, he was still wanted while Shane was pretty sure all his tormentors were dead. "Poor Oliver, you must have stressed him the fuck out," he added with a smile, not really wanting to linger on his own shitty childhood.
Though he would’ve loved to have an actual education, Diego was glad he hadn’t had to navigate that world, because he definitely would’ve gotten into trouble. It had taken quite a few years for him to start talking to the people around them at all -- those early days had been so hard and scary as they scrambled to find somewhere that felt even remotely safe. The last part of what Shane said made him laugh though, and he was vaguely grateful for the distance of time. “I really really did,” Diego confirmed with a lopsided grin. “I’m amazed he’s not all the way gray yet. He would say it’s all been worth it though ... I hope, anyway.” He gave a huff, aware that was exactly what Oliver would say, and he would mean every word. Diego had been through bouts of insecurity in the past, but he didn’t doubt that now. “Do you stress Reza out?” he asked, his tone light.
Shane's eyebrows shot up and he laughed at the blunt question, nodding as he thought about it. "Probably! I'm not the easiest person to live with." He could think of a few instances where he'd definitely stressed Reza out, terrified him even and they really weren't worth dragging up and they didn't make him laugh either. "Yeah, definitely," he said a bit more softly, his smile fading and turning a bit more guilty before he caught himself and had a sip of his drink. "But they put up with us anyway, even when we stress them the fuck out. I'd say they both deserve some awards." Reza definitely did, and Shane tried to shower him with good things all the time, not just because he deserved them but because Shane was crazy about him.
Diego could read between the lines, and he wasn’t too surprised at the confirmation that Shane and Reza had been through difficult times, even so early in their relationship. He and Oliver had been through their struggles too, none of which he wanted to dwell on either. So Diego lifted his drink with a grin. “I’ll drink to that,” he said and clinked his glass against Shane’s. There probably wasn’t any such thing as a Best Significant Other Award, but if there had been, those two would deserve it. “We’ll just have to keep being appreciative and liberal with the blowjobs,” he added after he’d taken a swallow. Diego snickered a bit. “Or whatever it is Reza likes best, you know. Everybody’s different. So I’m told.”
"Everybody's different, sure," Shane tittered. "But mostly we're all the same and generous blowjobs go a long way to keep guys happy." It took more than that to keep Reza happy and he suspected the same could be said for Oliver, but for some reason those poor men stayed through all the madness and refused to fucking leave. "Did you guys go to the carnival?" he asked as he thought about how he'd meant to take Reza out of town and leave him there but all the secrets seemed to come spilling out on that one, crazy day.
Oliver definitely enjoyed blowjobs, especially when they were a surprise, and Diego suspected that was fairly universal, yeah. He’d just never personally had any other lovers to try things on or answer questions for him. It had always been just him and Oliver, for both of them, and while Diego was perfectly content with that, he was sure there were things that they didn’t know. Shane’s question distracted him away from thinking about sex, and his brows lifted before he gave a small little frown. “Yeah, we did,” he answered. “And it was all fine until this one ride. The uh ... the one with the horses that go in a circle?” Diego couldn’t recall the name of it at the moment, but he was sure Shane probably knew, especially with his descriptive finger circle in the air. “Did you do that one?”
"The uh, round-a thing, yeah, no we didn't go on it," Shane replied and he couldn't remember the name either. He wasn't really surprised to hear something shady had happened on that ride, the whole carnival had felt off. "We did the tunnel of love and the ferris wheel, pretty sure our drinks were spiked with something. It was a... a fucked up day." He wondered if Diego and Oliver had gone through the same thing or if it really was some messed up magic, a different trick for every ride. Only that didn't make much sense since nothing happened on the ferris wheel. "What did the horses do to you?" he asked, trying to keep it somewhat light hearted but the way he'd felt with the things Reza had said to him was something he hoped Diego hadn't experienced.
Under other circumstances, ‘what did the horses do to you’ would have been a pretty funny question, since they were all made of fiberglass. Maybe the fake animals themselves weren’t to blame, but it had been awful reliving all that trauma, and something told him Shane would be able to relate. “It was so strange,” Diego murmured as his expression got darker. “Everything was fine -- Haisley was even with us -- and then the ride started to go backward ... and all of the sudden I was lost in the most vivid memories. It was like being sucked into a nightmare, only it was all real and happened to me. Just ... the worst parts of my life, like it was all happening again. And I couldn’t escape. Oliver had to catch me and hold me up until the ride was over.” He frowned and rubbed at one eye. “What happened with you?”
So much for lighthearted. Shane knew damn well that Diego had horrible memories just like he did and it was tempting to reach across the table to grab his hand in solidarity and friendship. He refrained, not wanting to pity him or anything because that shit was annoying. "Fuck," he whispered instead. "Fuck those horses." He quirked a brow and licked his lips, all the attempts at being easy going about it gone out the window as a soft frown had taken over his face. "I didn't have anything that horrible, it was like we were cursed in the tunnel, Reza started saying shit he didn't mean, really ugly stuff... Freaked out afterward. Then it was like we'd both been drugged with truth serum, we just kept saying the wildest things we didn't want to say out loud." One corner of his lips quirked in a wan, half smile and he shrugged. "It turned out to be a good thing, the truth. We talked and... fuck, cried a little, it was all pretty emotional." It wasn't hard to tell Diego things like that, he just had such an earnest face and open personality, Shane didn't think he'd be judged by him in a million years, especially for something like this.
Shane was right, there was absolutely no judgment in Diego’s eyes as Shane spoke, just concern. Hearing horrible things quickly followed with forced truth sounded like a crazy rollercoaster to be on, and he knew how uncomfortable any outside manipulation could feel for them. When so much of your young life had been so controlled and traumatic, anyone or anything else trying to control you could turn into a trigger. It was a relief to hear that it had ended up being a positive thing, emotional or not. Shane and Reza seemed so good together, it would’ve been terrible if something like this had broken them up. Maybe he was biased, but he felt like having loving relationships were good for them in the long run. “That sounds fucked up, I’m sorry,” Diego murmured, studying Shane’s face. He stood up enough to lean in and give him a side hug around the shoulders. Maybe it wasn’t needed, but Diego hoped it helped a little at least. “I’m glad it turned out okay though, and that you two talked. Nothing wrong with emotional,” he added, giving Shane’s shoulder a squeeze.
Shane hugged him back as best he could in that position, not terribly surprised that Diego would give him physical comfort but it was still a little surprising in a very nice way. "I still wanted to go back," he admitted. "There was something wrong with that place." He couldn't help but laugh before he continued. "Who would have thought an old fashioned carnival would be a little screwy!" It was a brief bout of humor that didn't quite stick because he was still thinking about what they'd been through at the carnival and he eyed Diego curiously as his smile faded again. "Are you okay? Sounds like you had years of trauma dumped on you again in a matter of minutes." Shane tried not to think much about the past, especially the things that really stayed with him, and he couldn't imagine that having them thrust on him like that wouldn't leave some lingering fucked-up-ness.
Diego was getting the impression that many things were screwy in this place, and a carnival was the least surprising on the list. It was the motif of many horror movies, after all, and there had been something kind of run down and creepy about the place. It had just been difficult to notice while he was there in the middle of it. The concern made him smile faintly, but there was definitely some sadness mixed into it. “That’s exactly what happened, but ... yes,” he answered. Diego gave Shane another little squeeze before he sat down again and reached for his drink. “It was all so long ago now. Some of it I didn’t remember until I saw it again.” He rubbed his fingers against the glass instead of actually picking it up, gazing at the liquid inside before he glanced at Shane again. “I had forgotten ... it wasn’t AIR who took me from my family first. It was traffickers -- men who raped me. They were going to sell me. I was ... five, I think? Maybe four. AIR found me after I collapsed the entire building. So ... I felt unwell for a couple of days after the carnival, but it’s gotten better. What can you do about the past?” He gave a wan smile and a helpless little shrug.
It took Shane a second to process what Diego was saying and then it seemed to lance through him like a vicious venom and he was surprised he didn't set the damn house on fire accidentally. Five, maybe four. Shane didn't really have any experience with kids since he was one and he barely remembered being that small, but that was all that really came to mind. Small. Too damn small. Obviously nobody should get raped but the thought of a child experiencing that made him feel queasy and furious. "Jesus fucking christ," he hissed as tears welled up in his eyes and he had a hard time blinking them back. He wanted to kill those people, wanted to watch them burn and make it as slow as possible and it probably showed in his face. He shook his head, grimaced and then got up to hug Diego again. "Shit I'm sorry. That's just... that's so fucking wrong, Diego."
The strength of Shane’s reaction surprised him a little, but it touched him too, and Diego stood up into the hug to return the embrace. He squeezed Shane tightly, his own throat feeling thick and clogged with emotion for the innocent boy he had been. It was a little strange that he could shrug it off until someone else got emotional about it, then it tended to remind him how real it had been. Even though he didn’t really remember it clearly, there was no way he hadn’t carried it with him on some deep level. “It was,” Diego mumbled, his voice a little rough. He swallowed hard, not wanting this to turn into a cry fest for both of them or anything. “But I’m okay. Very lucky that I could defend myself, even if I didn’t know what I was doing, you know?” And he’d been saved and had a lot of love since then, so he didn’t feel completely damaged or anything. Diego patted Shane’s back and gave him another squeeze before he let go. “Thank you, though.”
Shane sometimes thought about how young he'd been when he first had sex and the thought of having sex with a sixteen year old was such a turn-off to him now, he felt a little resentful of the men who'd had sex with him in retrospect. But he'd been sixteen, not four or five, and nobody had forced him so much as taken advantage of his naive nature and desperation. He hoped that Diego's powers had crushed those men in the most painful ways possible while also hoping Diego hadn't fully grasped how horrible it had really been and these were all things he didn't want to say out loud so he just squeezed Diego for as long as he'd let him and tried to quell the fire raging inside of him. "People like that... I could kill again in a heartbeat," he said quietly. "No remorse, no second guessing, just scorching fire and fuck the consequences."
It was a good hug, and Diego felt closer to Shane as he pulled back, keeping his hands on Shane’s arms for a moment. They locked eyes as he spoke, and Diego could feel the absolute conviction in the words. It gave him a hot, fierce feeling in his chest, and he squeezed Shane’s biceps, nodding a bit. “I would be right there with you,” he told him seriously. “Against those who hurt you too, you know. We’re brothers now.” He patted one of Shane’s arms firmly, a tiny smile quirking up one side of his mouth. Maybe it meant there was something fundamentally cracked about them, that they both knew they had the capacity for that sort of mayhem, but Diego didn’t care. The world had tried to break them in horrible ways, of course parts of them had become hard. Diego definitely didn’t want Shane to feel alone in that, because he wasn’t. He may have grown into a compassionate and loving person, but he would still fuck up anybody who seriously hurt the people he loved.
Brothers. That definitely ruled out the orgy Shane often joked about hosting but he liked it anyway, feeling a little sappy all over again. In a way they were all like a fucked up group of siblings from an intensely abusive home with Shane, Mal and Diego having done the most time. He didn't feel close to Mal though, they only had the bloodlust in common, but Diego? Diego was sweet too and Shane absolutely adored him. "Brothers," he echoed. "That means you have to invite me to your wedding, family and all." He'd never even been big on family but he'd never had a brother either and it sounded like a nice thing. It sort of made him wonder what had become of his cousins, but this messed up family felt a lot closer to him than blood relatives ever could.
It was impossible to deny that Shane was attractive -- and Reza too -- and if Diego had been single, he probably would’ve been game to fall into bed with them both. But he rarely thought of anyone but Oliver in any sexual sense, so spoiling a potential orgy was far from his mind. He felt close to Shane, more so than any of the other friends he’d made along his and Oliver’s wandering way. Diego loved Haisley dearly, but she was still at the beginning of her healing journey. He and Shane were more on par with each other, and it was beyond nice to have someone so like him to relate to. “Be careful or I’ll be asking you to be in my wedding,” he said with a bright grin. It wasn’t like he had a bunch of other family to fill those ranks, if they even ended up having wedding parties at all. Chuckling, Diego sat down to grab his drink again. Talking weddings was way more fun than rehashing his shitty past -- he just wanted to focus on his future. “What about you, do you think you’ll end up settling down with Reza?”
"I feel like I already have," Shane admitted. "And yeah, I want... everything with him. Even if it means meeting his family. I just think I'll have to come up with some bullshit life story for myself if I do. It helps that I know he'll help me. I'd want you in my wedding too and I'd totally be in yours." He wanted a drink or two now, that was for sure. He didn't feel awkward talking to Diego but the subject matters were heavy all around in different ways and alcohol took the edge off. "You want another drink?" he asked before he grabbed his own glass and finished what was left in it, wiggling it at Diego questioningly.
That made Diego beam at him. He loved being in love, and he was dying to marry Oliver, so getting close to somebody else who was deeply in love made him feel kind of giddy and super happy. “Yeah, please,” he said without hesitation. He was driving home, but probably not for a while, so another drink wouldn’t hurt him. Diego drained his glass too and then slid it over to Shane. “Bullshit stories can be fun. I used to tell people different things everytime we moved. It just got hard to keep track of after a while ... but the trick is to make it pretty boring. Then you don’t have a lot to try to remember.” He completely understood the need to lie to Reza’s family -- no parents or siblings in their right minds would encourage one of their own to get involved with the kind of craziness that plagued him and Shane. It was a bummer, but he couldn’t really fault anyone for it.
"Man I wish I could just make up the most crazy shit," Shane said and couldn't help but grin as he thought about what kind of crazy shit he'd tell Reza's family if he really didn't care. "I grew up in a circus and never went to school except clown school," he mused as he mixed their drinks. "Hell, that'd be the easiest lie to maintain, I think. Everything else always leads to shit like; oh my cousin lives there, he's your age, did you go to school together? Did you like that super specific thing everyone in that stupid town loves? And I just can't do that shit." If things stayed serious with Reza and neither of them died, his family might want to meet any family Shane might still have so any lies involving fictional people were out. "Do you remember any of the ones you used to tell?" he asked as he handed Diego a fresh drink. "Were they all boring?"
‘Clown school’ made Diego giggle -- was that even a thing? It sounded like an insult to him, like go back to clown school, but there were a lot of phrases out there that just sounded silly to him and always had. He accepted the fresh drink with a murmured thanks and a smile. All of the pitfalls Shane listed were legitimate when it came to family, he supposed. Oliver didn’t have a family to lie to, so Diego had always just been spinning tales for strangers they met along the way. “Not all of them,” he admitted with a little grin. “In a few places I told some people that we were star-crossed lovers from rival cartel families who had run away together.” Diego tittered a bit. “I couldn’t discuss many details, of course, for their own safety and ours. But that one got a lot of wide-eyed looks from white people in the midwest. It was fun. Also once that I was a famous revolutionary writer in South America, in hiding from the government I tried to overthrow.”
"Those are awesome stories," Shane tittered. "Little did they know the truth was even crazier. I probably would have believed you, I mean why not, right? Life is weird, people are doing crazy shit all over the world that we know nothing about." And he was aware he wasn't the smartest guy in said world, he could be very gullible, the trick was to just always be a bit haughty and sarcastic around people he didn't fully trust, make sure nobody could really tell if he believed them or not. He wouldn't do that with Diego and it was kind of curious to know someone he felt like he could let his guard down with. Diego knew why he didn't know a whole lot about the world, that he'd missed out on some very formative years among other people. He understood why he was the way he was because he was the same way and Shane was really feeling that 'brother' vibe right now. He lightly clinked his glass against Diego's and smiled warmly at him. "To your next best seller, then."
Most of Diego’s fibs about their origin story had played off of racist assumptions people tended to make about them as two Latino gay men. Maybe part of it had been a lowkey anger coming out, as he learned more about his supposed place in society. Shane didn’t have that angle, but Diego definitely understood a lot about being stunted and alienated from the world you suddenly found yourself in. He couldn’t imagine doing it alone, he’d been so grateful to have Oliver next to him, for support and guidance. It made him wish a little that Shane had been with them somehow, that they’d been able to learn together. He’d obviously made it, but the road couldn’t have been easy. Diego grinned as he returned the clink, then laughed softly at the toast. “If only I really had the talent,” he said before he took a sip. “I would say one of us should write a book, even sell it as fiction, about everything. But that would probably put a big target from AIR on their back.”
"Not if we burn it all down," Shane said with a grim smile that soon turned sheepish. It was such a reactionary thing and it was far more nuanced and that. They had no idea how many facilities AIR had around the country - even the world - but if Shane could, he'd happily burn them all down to the ground. "If you have a big enough story, there's always a writer out there that's happy to write it. I met this influencer at the club once, she wouldn't stop talking about her autobiography and she was like... Twenty?" He laughed because it was kind of hilarious. He doubted she had as much story to tell as he and Diego did but somehow she'd managed to squeeze her teenage years into a whole book. "I think there are books about everything out there. I used to think they were a big deal, you know? But a lot of them are trash so you don't really need talent to write one. You can always just get a ghostwriter - which is what she admitted doing in the end."
As much as Diego wanted to see every AIR facility burn, he didn’t really think that was within their reach. They could hit this local one and hit it hard, but after that, Diego had no idea what would happen. Would they all have to scatter and run? Or would bringing down this AIR again keep them safe? He really hoped for the latter, he’d gotten weirdly attached to this town. Shane’s story about the young girl in the club distracted him from that useless anxiety and Diego laughed a bit, wrinkling his nose and wondering what life experience a twenty year old living in the real world had to fill a book. There were likely some fascinating young people out there, but Diego definitely didn’t associate that possibility with ‘influencers.’ He sipped on his drink and shrugged a shoulder. “That has to be a boring autobiography. Maybe I will do it,” he said. “I don’t have a job or anything. I wonder if Neil would help me, he seems into books, right?” He grinned a bit, curious what Shane thought of the man Diego had only seen once so far.
That in turn made Shane laugh and he squeezed his eyes shut as he shook his head. "I'm trying to imagine what that would end up like," he admitted. "Maybe he's a great writer but he's just..." He grimace-smiled and opened one eye to peek at Diego. "I don't know. Maybe his awkwardness is just a front for some wild imagination but he seems a little too boring to write your story. He sure as hell wouldn't survive writing mine." Neil writing about prostitution, orgies and drugs just didn't sound right to Shane and he was pretty sure Neil didn't have some secret kinkster personality hiding underneath the stiff exterior. He'd met plenty of those kinds of people in his life and they all seemed to have a vibe that Neil most definitely didn't have.
It was a fun face journey to watch, and Diego was grinning by the time Shane really looked at him again. Even if Shane didn’t know Neil very well, he still knew him better than Diego did, and it was kind of amusing to have his first impressions verified. Neil had seemed very tense and uncomfortable around all of them, and he hadn’t been very receptive to Diego being friendly with him during the few minutes he’d tried to strike up a conversation when they’d all met. He hadn’t been rude or anything, just ... closed off. “Yeah, he seemed like he’s got a pretty good sized stick up his ass,” Diego said, amused as he sipped on his drink some more. “It’s funny, my story doesn’t seem so wild to me, I’ve lived so many boring days just sitting around waiting for Oliver to come home from work, you know? It’s all perspective, I guess.”
"I've had boring days too," Shane told him as if it was a secret he was sharing, his eyes even widening for effect. "But I just- I go do shit if I'm bored. I'm not good at sitting still for long unless I have a game going or something. Are you staying a while? You want to play something?" It suddenly occurred to him that they had a great gaming system set up in the game room and that Diego might actually enjoy trying some of the games. He wasn't exactly made of money, Shane was willing to bet he hadn't played a whole lot in his life.
He rolled his eyes affectionately and was about to point out that he did shit when he was bored too, his means were just pretty limited. But then Shane was asking about games, and Diego’s curiosity was piqued. He’d screwed around in some arcades before, but he and Oliver had never dropped the money on a console system or a fancy computer or anything like that, so he didn’t have a lot of exposure to video games. “I’ve got plenty of time, so ... yeah, sure?” he answered with a little laugh. “I haven’t ever played much, so I’m going to be bad, fair warning.” Diego grinned.
"We'll just have to get you better!" Shane said eagerly and pushed away from the counter to lead the way to the game room. "Oh by the way, don't be startled if you hear Reza while we're down there even if he's nowhere to be seen. He likes to do this weird thing with his voice where he just broadcasts to wherever I am to let me know he's home." He huffed softly and grinned at Diego. "Witches, eh?" He had no idea if Diego had much experience with witches and given the context where he might, he hoped he hadn't but it was funny to put it that way because a witch casting his voice like that was nowhere near a normal or regular occurrence for anyone and being flippant about it was amusing to Shane.
Diego grabbed his drink and followed Shane. The warning was strange enough to startle a laugh out of him and he looked vaguely impressed. “I wouldn’t know, I think Reza is the first witch I’ve ever met,” he said with a grin. “Well, at least the first one who wasn’t some girl at a bar who was just really into crystals and moon phases, anyway. I never thought any of them were real.” His gaze roamed around the house as they walked, taking it all in. It looked like a hotel to him instead of a personal residence, it was crazy to have so much space. “Did you know any of that was real before you met him? Magic and stuff like that?” He supposed it wasn’t so different from the things the two of them and their ilk could do, but for some reason it had always seemed like fantasy to him.
"Yeah," Shane replied, not really eager to get into the how or why, but this was Diego so he'd understand and he probably wouldn't get weird about it either. "I had a witch come in a few times to heal me up, during that time when they were still figuring out if I could get burned or not. Heat comes in a lot of forms, or whatever you wanna call'em. Steam, boiling water, hot metal. They wanted to know where the line was between fire damage and something else." He let out a derisive snicker as he descended the stairs to the game room, shaking his head. "So I don't have any scars to show, they made sure of that." That was already more than he'd wanted to say but Diego's openness was contagious and it felt safe to talk about. It also wasn't something he could casually tell Reza because the fury and compassion that would light up in his man would probably kill him with emotions. "Guess you never needed that? Your body refused to get crushed by your gravity skills?"
He frowned a bit as he listened, following Shane down the steps. Diego felt some of his own compassion and fury, but it was tempered with personal experience. He knew Shane didn’t want pity or anything close to it, because neither did he. But damn did it make him want to flatten some people for what they’d done to both of them. “No, I suppose my facility didn’t have a resident witch,” Diego answered, his tone only a little darker than before. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, he reached out to give Shane’s upper arm a squeeze, and left it at that. “I was very uncooperative though. I made a mess of everything I could, every time they let me out, so ... after a while they stopped letting me out. I got punished a lot, and all of those wounds had to heal on their own.” Diego had only cooperated with a few experiments that he could remember, and after that had been an interminably long captivity. He was sure they watched him all the time and learned from how he used his powers when he was alone, but he did his damndest never to do what they wanted him to do. It was probably a miracle they let him live as long as they did. “They were preparing to kill me when Oliver got us out.”
"Jesus," Shane hissed and it was like everything anyone ever said about AIR just made him want to burn the place down over and over again - and yes, that included the people. "Yeah they kept Nulls around me a lot," he sighed. "I wasn't much of a fighter without the fire. If I could burn anything in my room it was just self sabotage. Man those people were fucked in the head." And at least in his case, they were dead now. "Do you know where your facility was? I feel like we should target that one next if we can bring the local one down." He grinned again as he turned on the system. "We should get you into tactical war games, Diego. Make a soldier out of you." He was only half kidding, video games were great for building up response time and eye-hand coordination and even with their powers, they might need that.
No wonder Shane had reacted so badly to Oliver. Knowing that his man was a null now brought some clarity to how the facility had continued to let Oliver watch over him. Diego had never quite made the connection at the time, because he’d never wanted to make trouble for Oliver, so he hadn’t tried to flex his power when he was around. Diego wasn’t completely powerless around him, or he would’ve noticed that by now, so maybe Oliver wasn’t that strong of a null. In any case, it was interesting to know now. “It’s in Washington state, kind of north? Oliver would know better than me, I was just along for the ride at that point,” he said as he sat down and sipped on his drink again. “I would say I’m no good as a soldier, but ... I don’t really know, do I?” he offered with a little grin. He didn’t know how he felt about possibly storming his own facility -- or Haisley’s, for that matter. Maybe if this one was a wild success they could talk about it, Diego just wanted to make sure everyone came out of it alive.
Shane didn't know if they could destroy just one facility and leave it at that when they knew there were more out there. Some righteous part of him wanted to find all of them and make sure they were all gone along with anyone who'd ever worked there - though that had changed now, hadn't it... Anyone who held any real power there was good enough for him, there'd probably been a lot of people like Oliver who didn't deserve to die for working for shitty people. It all seemed like a fantasy though because he found it hard to imagine surviving this one fight - if it even happened. The planning dragged on and it didn't feel like any of them had any idea what they were going to do. Shane always thought they'd find a way to figure out if there were innocent people in the building and if not, he and Diego would level it to the ground, but that was probably overly simplistic. "You're not meant to be a soldier," he said. "None of us are, but learning some tactics can't hurt, right?" He wasn't taking it overly seriously and loaded up a more cartoonish war game he had before switching it to multiplayer. "I'll teach you," he said in a serious tone as the ridiculous logo splattered across the screen. "You will be strong in no time."
Diego reached for one of the controllers that looked the same as what Shane picked up. He knew precious little about video games, but that much seemed pretty straightforward. He was tempted to ask Shane what he thought he would’ve been if AIR had never happened to him, if he didn’t have any powers ... but he didn’t want to bring the mood down again. Those kinds of questions could drive a man crazy, anyway. Things were what they were, and they all just had to deal with it. So instead Diego laughed at those overly-serious words and set his drink down. “Yes, sensei, I’m ready to learn,” he said, though he couldn’t keep the straight face that Shane could. Whether he learned anything or he completely sucked at this or what, it was going to be nice to do something new and light and fun with someone he enjoyed spending time with.