Ethan Woods (lockingdoors) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2022-05-11 22:16:00 |
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Entry tags: | #june 2018, ethan, ethan x jules, jules |
Who: Jules and Ethan
Where: Carnival
When: Saturday, evening, June 30th
Status: Complete
Jules was feeling... very strange. It was an odd mixture of happy, high and kind of sick. That morning she had been feeling sweaty and ill, throwing up in the bathroom shortly after she had woken up. There were a few, small black worms in the vomit, but Jules flushed them without thinking much about it. While her body was craving her bed, her mind refused to give her a break. She needed to go out and have fun and be happy. It didn't even seem possible for her to physically climb back into bed anymore. Whatever was in her body seemed to want complete control of her, but there was a disconnect somewhere and Jules didn't know how to remedy it.
By the time she picked up Ethan to head for the carnival, she had completely forgotten about the morning. Her body was still tired but she was eager to hang out with Ethan and eat some more cotton candy and maybe get on one of the crazy rides. She had been there twice already, once to help Jasper find Rebecca and once to hang out with friends but those memories were already hazy in her mind, like they happened weeks ago, rather than a couple of days.
"This is much more fun without having to track down missing girls," Jules told him as they walked through the carnival together. She had a spool of cotton candy in her hand, but she was barely tasting it as she slipped a piece into her mouth. Ethan looked just as sickly as she did, but he had a smile on his face so it didn't worry her at all. Nothing worried her right now.
Ethan wasn’t faring much better than Jules. He was constantly nauseous, sick at least once a day, and couldn’t sleep more than an hour at a time, no matter how much he wanted to. He was exhausted, yet felt the need to be active, though he didn’t have the focus to do anything substantial. Work had been forgotten and it was probably lucky that he’d put school on hold for the summer because he would have missed that too. The days were blending together to the point that he wasn’t sure what was yesterday versus last week. But things were good. The high prevented him from believing anything else.
Though none of his memories of visiting the carnival were actually good, Ethan was happy to go again, this time with Jules. He picked as a spool of blue cotton candy as they wandered the grounds, hungry for something more substantial, but not sure what. Maybe a corn dog. Maybe cheesecake on a stick. Something… else. “Better than getting my ass handed to me too,” Ethan said. “Last time I’ll ever ride the Tunnel of Love.”
"What?" Jules giggled and looked up at Ethan. "Who handed your ass to you?" If he had already told her this story, she obviously forgot. She had ridden the tunnel of love and had enjoyed it, even though it felt like ages ago that it had happened. Everything felt sort of distant in her memory now, except what was happening right here. Jules wasn't even entirely sure what day it was anymore, but that was okay because it was summer and she didn't need to know.
“Did I not tell you?” Ethan asked, a touch surprised. He’d intended on telling her, but maybe he’d forgotten. The whole week was a bit of a blur at that point and it was hard for him to remember what he’d done versus what he’d thought about doing. “I rode it with Scarlett earlier this week and she freaked the fuck out. Started accusing me of cheating on her for no reason at all. And then I kinda fucked up by not outright denying it. But I didn’t realize we were serious enough for me to cheat on her.” Had they been? He didn’t recall having any feelings for her, but he was as unsure about the state of their relationship before as he was just about everything else. It was all muddled together, but he wasn’t near as worried about it as he could have been, maybe should have been. “She laid into me big time, then left. I haven’t heard from her since.”
"What!?" Jules knew she ought to be worried that Scarlett knew Ethan had slept with her. But instead she was laughing and no, not worried at all. "Scarlett's kind of crazy. But I didn't want to warn you off of her or anything, if you liked her." She also didn't want to come across as jealous or possessive or anything, although it was nice not to have to share Ethan anymore. They had the whole summer ahead of him and if they were both single... Then again, they probably should talk about what they had done at the Fallows, but whenever she thought about it, her mind trailed off into a fuzzy place. There was a rumble of thunder overhead and Jules squinted up to the darkening sky.
“I liked her all right. We had fun together. But I didn’t realize fucking a few times meant we were officially dating, at least to her,” Ethan said with a roll of his eyes. Had he not been permanently high, he might have handled the situation better. He might not have screwed Jules in the first place. But he couldn’t bring himself to care at the moment, mostly disappointed to have lost his most reliable lay. Sometimes he liked to think he had Jules, but then she’d been single for months before Jasper had come back and she hadn’t been all that interested in him then. It made him think that one time was a fluke, which was also disappointing. “I don’t mind crazy, but… it’s hard to apologize for something I’m not really sorry for.”
"Girls... take sex more seriously, I guess? I don't know. If a guy messes around with Scarlett, she's usually got him until she doesn't want him anymore. So maybe you dodged a bullet, or whatever." She glanced at Ethan, her glassy eyes dulled a bit. "I'm not sorry for it either, for what it's worth. I think maybe... we both needed it?" She certainly had. Jules still had no idea what to do about it, or what to think. If Jasper would be mad about it, or about Clint. She felt pretty damn untethered at the moment and had no idea what she wanted to do with herself, or her life.
Ethan thought he’d have more feelings about sleeping with Jules, or about pissing off Scarlett, but instead the high just evened everything out. He was mellow about it all and unable to be bothered by it, even if he knew something about that was wrong. “Maybe,” he agreed. “I remember thinking it could fuck things up, but we’re still good, so… I dunno what I was worried about. Maybe Scarlett, I guess.” He was going to miss fooling around with her though, since he still wasn’t sure if Jules was a one time thing. Try as he might to figure it all out, complex thinking felt like wading through mud and he found himself giving up before actually getting anywhere. “Do you regret it?”
Jules had a lot of feelings about what she had done over the past few weeks but lately those feelings seemed to be rather insignificant. If not insignificant, then buried pretty deep for the time being. This was her summer to have fun and do whatever she wanted, right? She glanced at Ethan again, trying to remember if she had been afraid that sex would ruin their friendship. Obviously there was nothing to worry about... then again, they hadn't really talked about it either. Jules had been doing really good at not talking about stuff. His question gave her pause before she shook her head. "No, I don't regret it. I'd be lying if I said I didn't wonder what it would be like before we did it..." She shrugged. "And I think I needed it at the time. I'm sorry it fucked things up for you and Scarlett though. I just don't know what happens now. Do you?"
Ethan shrugged, feeling a nonchalance that he hadn’t expected and didn’t really understand or feel the need to question. Things were fucked up with Scarlett and that was a bummer, but it wasn’t bothering him at the moment. Maybe Jules was right and they’d both needed it. If so, it was probably better now than if he’d been in a more serious relationship later. Then again, he may have ruined the chances of that ever happening. It was hard for him to conjure the concern he thought he should feel. “I don’t know what happens,” he answered. “Whatever we want, maybe?” It sounded simple, but Ethan thought it might be the opposite. He had no idea what he wanted beyond this moment, being there with her. “What do you want?” he asked instead.
It was a nice thought... getting whatever it was they wanted. But Jules had learned that what she wanted didn't really matter anymore. Shit happened so often that it tended to screw things up, so why make plans? Why hope for anything? One would've thought that that line of thinking would bring her down, but it was hard to feel down when she was having fun and eating cotton candy. Thumber rolled above their heads again, but she barely noticed this time. "I don't know what I want," she said with a shrug. "I mean, I want to have fun this summer. I want to stop caring about so much crap, especially when caring so much means you hurt more." Jules blinked, trying to keep her focus. Things felt heavy inside of her chest and for a second she wondered if she had just zoned out or not. Ethan didn't seem concerned, so maybe she hadn't. Reaching up, she brushed some hair from her forehead, barely noticing how damp it was from sweat. "We don't have to figure any of that stuff out right now, do we?"
Ethan didn’t think he’d ever hurt the way he’d seen Jules hurt—a pain that lasted for months, that weighed her down and made her feel less. Almost crippled, a husk of who she’d once been. He hadn’t known her before all that, but he got the sense that she’d been different. Sometimes he wondered if he’d have liked her as much as he did now, but it hardly mattered. She wasn’t that girl anymore and it didn’t seem like there was any going back. It made him weary of ever getting that close to someone, if their loss could be so devastating. Having fun seemed much more appealing at the moment. “No,” he said, giving her a little smile, though his eyes were glazed over and sweat continued to pour down his neck. “There’s no rush to do anything and I’m good with avoiding things that bring you pain.” It made his own life seem simple by comparison. It was a shame Scarlett was no longer interested, but it also meant one less complication to deal with.
Jules was of the same mind these days. She didn't want to feel that kind of heartbreak again. It made her feel weak and silly and sad. Not lately, of course, but she remembered. Her head was starting to pound, making her feel a little queasy as rain drops started falling on her head and face. "Great," she muttered, squinting up at the sky just as thunder rolled again. "We should go before we get soaked. You wanna go... back to your place?" God, it felt like her insides were all throbbing. Maybe she had food poisoning. Jules wasn't really sure, but she felt uncomfortable and restless and was suddenly desperate to get somewhere where she could sit down and close her eyes.
The weather seemed to shift within seconds, moving from a few stray drops of rain to a steady shower, and Ethan had the feeling they’d be soaked before they even made it to his car. His cotton candy melted in his hand, turning into a sticky sweet mess that he quickly dropped into a nearby trashcan before turning his attention to Jules. “Sure. We can hang out. Dry off. Watching something or whatever.” He liked the idea of stripping out of their wet clothes and keeping each other warm, but didn’t go so far as to suggest it because he was feeling a bit like shit at the moment. The last thing he wanted was to disappoint her.
Jules nodded, because getting out of the rain and curling up next to Ethan for awhile sounded really great. Honestly, her brain was telling her to just keep the party going, but her body was so tired, she didn't think she could do much more tonight even if she wanted to. It occurred to her on some level that this wasn't normal. She shouldn't be so hot and clammy, her stomach nauseous. But it was like as soon as she thought it, the feelings were gone, replaced by something else that made her giggle. The rain started getting heavier and she wanted to run for Ethan's car but she could barely walk in a straight line as it was. She hadn't been drinking so she knew she wasn't drunk or even high... at least not from weed. "Stupid Point Pleasant weather," she grumbled before grinning. Everyone was rushing out of the carnival, some shrieking as they ran for cover and the thunder seemed to get louder. "No fog though! That's something."
Though the rain came down harder, Ethan could barely increase his pace and felt unsteady enough to take Jules’s hand in his. He knew something was wrong with him, that this would normally be panic inducing, but every time he thought about it it seemed to slip from his mind. It was just a cold, probably brought on by this suddenly horrible weather. No one would feel great out in it. “Fog is usually not life threatening,” he said with the casual air of someone who hadn’t been there for the incident itself. “Ever have rain monsters?” It was getting thick enough that there could be something out there and they wouldn’t even see it until it crept upon them. It would explain why everyone seemed to be freaking out. It was just rain. They’d be cold and soaked to the bone, but that was easily remedied.
"Fog in this town can be life threatening. Never saw a rain monster before! That would be new." Her clothes were plastered to her body now, but they were close to Ethan's car so she wasn't all that concerned about it. Ethan would let her wear his clothes once they got to his apartment. She tightened her grip on his hand, not minding the rain too much. She had been sweating and the rain was at least cooling her off. But ugh, she wanted to curl up somewhere and close her eyes. Something slithered along her spine and Jules leaned against Ethan as they walked. She wasn't entirely sure how it happened but it was like she blinked and they were at his car. Once they were inside and out of the rain, Jules pushed her dripping hair from her face before she started laughing. It hurt her throat but she couldn't help it. "Maybe we should go to the Fallows. You think its raining there?"
“I don’t know that we need new monsters around here,” Ethan said with a little snicker. For some reason he was picturing the Loch Ness Monster rising out of the marina, climbing ashore and wrecking havoc on the town… all in the rain. It was the most bizarre image and felt like someone out of a foreign sci-fi film, rather than a possible reality. The bizarre thought faded as Jules squeezed his hand and he weaved them through the parking lot to his car. For a moment he just stood there, trying to remember what to do next, then he fished his keys out of his pocket and unlocked it, allowing them to climb inside. “I enjoyed the Fallows last time we were there,” he grinned lazily, starting up the car. “We can always go and find out. I doubt anyone’s around if it is.” Maybe they could take advantage of it. It seemed like a good idea, but his head felt filled with cotton, his motivations fuzzy and purely physical, lowered to his most base of instincts. Even when he felt like shit, he still wanted to fuck her. He put the car in drive and pulled out of the parking lot. “Wanna check it out?”
There were already too many monsters in Point Pleasant, so Ethan was right. No more. Jules settled back against the seat and nodded. "Yeah, let's go. Maybe it won't be raining on the other side." The side where they got their high. Maybe her body just needed a fresh boost of it or something. And if Ethan wanted to have sex, she could probably do that too. It was her slutty summer after all! Jules giggled softly to herself. It didn't occur to her that it was raining so hard that she could barely see out the windshield. That the thunder was loud enough to hurt her ears. No part of her thought they ought to just go to Ethan's to hang out. She wanted to be back in the happy place, where she felt okay and not like she was about to pass out.
It wasn’t logical to go back to that place, but logic hadn’t been dictating Ethan’s actions for a while now. His body wanted to be back in the Fallows, so he gave into the impulse, driving through the rain. It was coming down so hard he could barely see, even when he turned the wipers on high, but he kept on, hitting the gas when he should have hit the brake. All he could think about was getting back there, returning to that feeling, the perfect high, with Jules’s body pressed against his. That’s what he needed, more than anything. Lightning flashed and his eyes flicked to the sky, so bright it burned his eyes. Thunder roared around them, so loud that the car seemed to shake, the sound of a horn unable to compete. His body jerked against the seatbelt as another car made impact, throwing him to the side as the car began to roll. He didn’t even have time to scream. His head hit the window and everything went black.
Jules had been starting to doze off when the thunder rolled again. It felt as though she ought to be awake, ought to be more aware of what was going on around her and how Ethan was driving. But she could barely open her eyes. It was nothing but heaviness seeping into her body. When Ethan's car began to roll, Jules was already unconscious so she didn't feel the pain. Her body might have suffered, but she was blissfully unaware, lost in a sea of blackness before the car even came to a stop.