Neil (piezoelectric) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2022-05-12 02:35:00 |
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Entry tags: | #june 2018, jai, jai x neil, neil |
Who: Jai & Neil
Where: Library & Castle View
When: Wednesday 6/27 Midday-early evening
There were aspects of Neil's work that made him wish he worked in some dusty archival basement instead of a public library. It would mean fewer people for one, he could spend all his time actually working on the things he wanted to work on instead of having to do customer service or sit through boring meetings about event planning and he highly doubted dusty archive workers would keep trying to lure him to show up at staff parties. He just wanted to be left alone at his desk where he could file and organize things, weed out books too damaged to stay in rotation, and update inventory. A lot of the time he got to do just that because everyone who worked with him knew he wasn't great with customers but today he was stuck in customer service for a couple of hours and had hardly any time to deal with the tasks he could practically feel piling up on his desk upstairs.
Being June, at least he didn't get annoying kids coming in for homework help, most people were just there for books or computer time. He did have to deal with an annoying gentleman asking him about occult books he really knew nothing about and was currently quite relieved to watch him leave. The 'happy' didn't last, a moment later someone else walked in and Neil's first thought was that he could probably hide behind the desk and let Abigail deal with him - only Abigail had darted off for some coffee. It was Jai Payne, their IT guy. The guy who'd sucked his dick a little over a week ago. Had Abigail called for tech help without telling Neil? He thought he might strangle her if she had, a little warning would have been in order - even if she had no way of knowing just how awkward this was for him.
Neil braced himself, tried to remember that people apparently did this all the time, he was the weird one who had issues with it. He just had no idea how other people dealt with the aftermath and he could already feel his cheeks and ears getting warmer.
Jai knew Neil would probably be mortified to know that no one had called in with an IT issue to be taken care of. He just happened to have some downtime and he knew where Neil worked, so he decided to stop by and flirt a little... see if he could make Neil blush before he had to leave again. As soon as he walked into the building, he spotted Neil behind the front counter. Neil obviously spotted him too and Jai grinned, already amused at how pink the other man's face had become. Wandering over to where Neil looked almost paralyzed, Jai leaned in and folded his arms on the countertop comfortably. "Hey Neil," he said quietly, not wanting to sound too jovial and freak the guy out. "How're things?"
"Hello," Neil replied a bit stiffly, even with the attempted and somewhat failed smile. He was supposed to be more casual, but Neil didn't do 'casual' or 'cool'. He could be relaxed and easy going when he was high but they were at his workplace, he was painfully sober and he'd never been in this particular situation before where the person he was trying to talk to had had his dick in his mouth. God he needed to stop thinking about that, his face felt too warm and Jai still had this weird energy about him that made him hard to dislike. "Are you here for work or-?" Business or pleasure sounded like the worst possible thing to ask right now. Maybe if he actually was cool and collected - a flirty guy! - but he knew it'd just come out stupid if he said it.
Jai's smile widened. "Nah, not work. I guess I'm here for 'or'." Neil's discomfort was subtle but Jai liked it anyway. This was the Neil he remembered from high school and he had a feeling it would be more difficult to tug the guy into the nearest bathroom here. "Thought I would come by and see how you were doing. I figured a week's long enough, yeah?" There had been no texts or anything and Jai hadn't had any work-reason to come by the library. Plus, things had been weird after Zach told him all about Toby, so today felt like the right time to come by and flirt a bit.
Neil hadn't exactly promised to call or text Jai, but he'd still eagerly handed him his phone when he offered his number and he honestly wasn't sure if that counted as the same thing so Jai's words made him feel a little guilty. He still had no idea what had possessed him to do any of what he'd done on that strange Monday night, but he couldn't even really say that he regretted it. On some strange level he was kind of glad he'd gotten to experience it, even if the circumstances had him a little weirded out. "Oh, I thought two weeks were the minimum," he said and it might have passed a suave joke if he didn't sound so awkward about it. "How've you been?" he added quickly, glad there wasn't anyone within earshot or his face might actually catch fire.
Jai's grin widened. "Two weeks is bordering on disinterest. But I've been really good. How about you?" He knew Neil's secret now, thanks to Zach, but Jai had no intention of saying anything about it. At least, not right now. The whole psychic, kidnapping thing weirded him out and he didn't want to let that kind of thing put an undercurrent of unease in him when he was trying to flirt. "I haven't seen you at Dragonfly this week. Been busy?"
"It's not-" Neil said and hesitated a second before continuing. "My usual hangout." God, how did he explain what the hell had come over him? It was all so out of character and he almost wished that he'd just hooked up with a tourist, a perfect stranger who'd be gone by now. Wait, no! He wished he hadn't hooked up with anyone, he corrected himself, but he wasn't so sure he meant that. "But no, not really busy, I- I've been at home, just reading and..." He gestured vaguely and wondered if Jai really was there just to say hi to him. The concept was so outlandish and he wondered if he was terribly gullible to believe it and feel so strangely affected by the way Jai was looking at him.
Jai had already guessed Neil didn't frequent Dragonfly, but that was okay. Maybe he would start coming in more often, if Jai could persuade him to. Right now Neil just seemed flustered and not entirely sure what to do with Jai standing there talking to him. It was pretty cute, actually. And not at all surprising to hear Neil had been just at home reading. The guy was a librarian, after all. "Reading and working," he said with an understanding nod. "I get that. What're you reading right now?" Jai enjoyed reading too, when he had the time for it. He wondered if that would surprise Neil to hear. He honestly had no idea what Neil's perception was of him, if anything at all.
Neil could absolutely not tell him about the dumb romances he'd been sucked into recently but thankfully he had something else on his reading list he could mention that wasn't quite as embarrassing. He blurted out the title and cleared his throat. "It's about Winston Churchill, it's actually quite good," he added and he found it very unlikely that Jai shared his fascination with history. He couldn't really explain the draw of reading about what had come before, so much of it was so violent and awful but he still derived pleasure from reading it and it certainly gave him some appreciation for his own life which in comparison hadn't been so bad despite everything that had happened to him. "Do you like history?" he asked as he tried not to think about how much Jai would laugh if he'd actually mentioned any of the other books he'd been reading.
"History was actually my best subject in school," Jai said. "It was always more interesting to me than geometry and learning about the benefits of the Oxford comma." To be fair, he didn't really apply himself much in school, too lazy and too high most of the time to do much with it. Thank god for trade school or he'd be pretty much homeless right now. "I read 1776 last year," he admitted with a sheepish grin. "Took me a while, but it was pretty good. Maybe I'll check out that Churchill book. Is it here in the library?"
Neil's eyes lit up at that entirely unexpected answer and he nodded, a bit dumbfounded. "It is. Do you want me to find it for you?" he asked as the phrase 'not just a pretty face' popped up in his head, possibly for the first time in the actual context of a person he was talking to. He was so used to only discussing history with his boss, Mr. Honeycutt, or on occasion a couple of the older customers. People his own age and younger were usually a bit baffled at what he considered 'fun' and here was Jai, who had performed oral on him in a public bathroom, admitting to liking it too. Neil might even have thought he was faking it, but bringing up a book made that seem unlikely.
It was impossible not to see the way Neil's whole face brightened up and Jai's smile deepened. Whoever said food was the way to a man's heart had obviously never met a librarian. "Yeah, that would be amazing." He straightened, because he fully planned on following Neil to whatever stack held the book Jai was now after. One he would read diligently, aware that it gave him a perfect excuse to bring it back and see Neil again. Not that he really needed an excuse, but it was there if he did need it. And hey, it would give them something comfortable to talk about because Jai had a feeling Neil was only at ease when the topic was something safe... like books. And Jai was more than okay with that.
Neil didn't really read his body language until he started moving from the desk and realized Jai was following. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, there weren't a lot of people on the floor and none of them were in the history section as far as he knew. Being alone with Jai like that... Well, he couldn't stay away from the desk long and he certainly wasn't going to do anything inappropriate in the library but the thought still made him a little nervous. And excited. "Do you have a card?" he asked a bit awkwardly, realizing he'd never been at the front when - if - Jai came to take out books. That wasn't strange, he was far better off in his own little office space, registering books. But still.
Oh yes, Jai was definitely going to follow Neil. And hope that no one else was in the aisle where the book was, because he kind of wanted to get Neil alone for a couple of minutes and see if he could make the guy blush again. "I have a card, yeah," Jai said with a grin. He didn't use it much but he did use it. "My mom brought me here when I was... nine or something like that, and got me a card. I still have the same one, believe it or not. You'd be proud of me too... no late fees or anything."
That made Neil laugh, a brief and quiet laugh but a laugh nonetheless even if it was easy to miss. "That is good," he agreed. "We are actually going to have a week in August where all late fees are forgiven in an effort to get some of our books back. We just haven't found a good name for it yet." Which was apparently important even if Neil didn't care about marketing and appearances. A catchy name and posters to get people's attention were more likely to work than word of mouth. "But you obviously don't need that." He smiled awkwardly and turned into the history aisle, going straight to where he knew the book was because he had just put it back himself.
Jai definitely caught the laugh and was pretty proud of himself. He got the impression that getting Neil to laugh was probably difficult to achieve. "If I were in marketing, I'd be all over it," he told Neil, following him down the aisle. "But I'd just come up with something like... bring our books back fuckers. Simple and straight to the point." He already decided he was going to read this book and come back and ask Neil to find him another. Follow the guy around the library like a lost puppy until he got him into another bathroom. Or bedroom. Any room, really. "You probably know this place like the back of your hand, huh?"
"Well, yeah," Neil replied sheepishly, unsure if that was pretty cool or really sad to someone like Jai. Then again he apparently had no idea what Jai was really like as his assumptions kept getting knocked down. "I took part in reorganizing everything a couple of years ago which was really hard work and incredibly annoying but we got it done." He'd hated it at the time but felt kind of proud of it afterwards so he supposed shitty and awful things could be rewarding. He doubted that applied to all the AIR nonsense though. That was probably 'certain death' and that thought alone made him wonder why he was even trying to keep his life together and keep other people out. "Do you still smoke?" he asked abruptly, before he could talk himself out of it. Maybe Jai had given it up, but Neil remembered he often smelled faintly like weed back in high school. "I'm done here at seven if you want to- if you like to smoke."
Reorganizing a library really did sound like a pain in the ass, but the end result was probably worth it. Jai sort of felt bad that he wouldn't have been able to tell the difference as a patron. He was usually pretty narrow minded when he came here... a book, work, or to flirt with Neil, apparently. Neil's question distracted Jai from his response and he cocked a brow before grinning. Still meant Neil knew Jai had smoked in the past. But hell, everyone had known that. Jai didn't want to label himself a stoner in high school, but... if the shoe fit. "Yeah, I still smoke. And I want and like to smoke too. You want to meet up somewhere? Or I can come by and we go somewhere together."
Neil hadn't really considered going anywhere, he'd been thinking about inviting Jai over which was probably insane and a fool proof way to let him find out just how dull Neil really was. "Where would you want to go?" he asked curiously. He wasn't outgoing so he really had no idea where people might go to just hang out and smoke. The last time he'd smoked with someone had been at Juniper with Rostislav and while marijuana was legal in Maine, there weren't exactly a lot of companies that allowed consumption on their premises unless it was in a more subtle form than smoke.
Jai shrugged one shoulder and leaned against the stacks, his gaze still on Neil. He would have invited Neil to his place but he wasn't sure if Zach would be there and honestly, he didn't want Neil to know that connection just yet. Though it was possible Neil and Zach hadn't really met. Jai couldn't remember many details of his conversation with his brother, having been too worried about Toby knowing their secret now. "You've got the stuff," he pointed out. "Why don't we just hang out at your place?" It would be fun to drive up to the lighthouse and get high up there, but it was warmer now and people were already hanging around that area. Jai would rather be somewhere with Neil where they could be alone.
"We could do that," Neil said even as he wondered what he was willingly getting himself into. What was the worst thing that could happen? Jai would be bored - or boring - and Neil would learn his lesson and never act this stupid again. Somehow the best things that could happen were harder to think about because those were the things he really had no idea how to navigate. "Meet me there after dinner? Eight, maybe? I'm in Castle View." Maybe Jai already knew that, he seemed to know a lot. Maybe he had access to all the employee files, maybe he could read Neil's emails. He was tech support after all. Neil was just thankful that he didn't have anything to hide online, all his awful and annoying secrets had never been discussed in email or in forums, only his nerdy love for history.
Jai's brow raised briefly when Neil mentioned Castle View. Because Jai and Zach lived there too. It was weird, but not really because Point Pleasant was a small town... he had just never seen Neil around. Or he just wasn't looking for him at the time. Jai wasn't always hyper aware of his surroundings and who was wandering by but it was kind of cool that they lived in the same apartments. At least Jai wouldn't have to drive anywhere if he got high. "Yeah, I can meet you there," he said with a nod, deciding against telling Neil he lived in the same building. No reason to scare the guy off just yet. "Which apartment?"
"Twelve," Neil replied, feeling both happy and apprehensive about Jai actually coming over to his home. Something had been knocked loose in his head this year and he wasn't sure what to blame. All the trauma? It was probably normal to go a little crazy after everything that had happened, maybe he was getting braver. Or stupider. "Let me check this out for you," he said and gestured a little awkwardly at Jai to follow him. They had a ...date? He didn't want to get caught up in doing something dumb at work so he led the way back out of the history aisle and tried to suppress the dumb smile that kept threatening to surface.
Jai followed Neil back to the front counter, his hands resting casually in his pockets until he had to pull out his wallet to find his library card. He wondered what Neil would say or do if he knew Jai lived in the same building and not too far from him. Jai would find out later, but it was damn convenient. "Want me to bring anything?" Jai asked as he handed over the card. "Drinks? I assume you've got stuff to smoke." If not, Jai certainly did. This town was not lacking in places to score weed and with it being legal, it was a hell of a lot more affordable.
"I only really have tea and water," Neil replied. "So if you want something else to drink you might have to bring it. But yes I have plenty to smoke." He wasn't a daily smoker, but close. It was his refuge and had been for a few years now. Everything was just a bit softer in a cloud of smoke and he found it easier to ignore all the bad things and focus on a good book or documentary when he was high. "Or I could stop by the store if you tell me what you like, I need to buy some things anyway." That was probably the first time he offered to stock up on something he didn't like for someone else, Jai would probably never know how special this offer was.
"Nah, it’s okay. I'll bring some stuff," Jai said, not wanting Neil to have to make a special trip just for him. It might have been a special offer, but Jai really didn't think he was worth going to any kind of trouble. He wondered if Neil really did only have tea and water. No soda? Then again, Neil didn't seem like the kind of guy who did a lot of things that were bad for him. It was kind of a cute trait, but also one Jai wanted to corrupt. "I'll see you at eight?"
This was Neil's last chance to slap his forehead and make up some excuse about how 'oh no, he forgot about that thing he had to do' but he didn't feel tempted to do that even if it did cross his mind. Instead he smiled again and nodded. "Eight," he agreed and went about checking Jai's book out for him, feeling weirdly... excited? There were definitely things about this that were making him anxious too, like the fact he was well aware that Jai had done something for him and he'd done nothing in turn and wasn't even sure if he was ready to but Jai seemed to have a very chill outlook on things so he wasn't exactly worried about it.
That was something that came later. After Jai left with his easy going vibe, Neil's own anxiety started building and he started questioning his decision. He pulled his phone a few times to send Jai that 'oops' text but found himself unable to go through with it so that suffering lasted the rest of the work day. He ended up stopping by the store to buy some variations of drinks that he normally never bought, and maybe it was high time he had something in his fridge for visitors now that he kept having more of them. He was home far too early and yet didn't have enough time to do any of the things he might have done to calm himself. How could half an hour be so long and so short all at once? He wasn't even sure at this point if he was worried about Jai showing up or not.
Even if Neil had sent an oops text, Jai would have probably shown up anyway. He recognized the awkward uncertainty in the other guy, knew exactly what those oops moments really meant. But Jai had the instinctive impression that persistence was probably the only thing that worked with someone like Neil. And Jai could be super persistent. He showed up at eight o'clock with a few cans of coke and a bottle of whiskey. Neil might not want to partake, but Jai certainly did. He didn't bother changing from his jeans and t-shirt, because he wanted to keep things casual, thinking that might help the skittishness a bit.
So Jai shifted the grocery bag from one hand to the other and knocked on Neil's door, already imagining the guy on the other side wondering if he ought to pretend he wasn't home or not. The thought brought a grin to Jai's face.
Neil hadn't had time to fret about clothes but he did that as soon as he heard the knock on the door and for a moment he did consider not answering. The anxiety that idea gave him was somehow more powerful than the anxiety of opening the door so he hurried to the hallway to let Jai in, giving him a sheepish smile. "I just got home," he said, in case he needed an excuse for... He wasn't even sure what. "Come on in." At least his place wasn't cluttered and messy, but he felt keenly aware of how sparse it was, 'decorated' with books and not much else. He thought of the painting Jane had given him - still hidden behind his sofa because there was no way he'd hang up that monstrosity - and wondered if that was something Jai would like or if it would bother him as much as it did Neil. "I see you brought... stuff. I have some - I bought some soda if you want something different," he babbled as he closed the door behind Jai and it occurred to him he really had no idea what this little get-together of theirs was going to be about.
Jai wasn't really thinking about what this was going to be about. He was just thinking that they were going to have a drink and smoke a bit and chill. He had no idea if Neil was the type who could relax, but Jai supposed he was about to find out. "I did bring stuff," Jai said with a grin, lifting the bag a bit as he stepped inside. "Nothing fancy." The place was definitely neater than his apartment with Zach, but that didn't surprise Jai much either. Still, he felt comfortable in the space because it resembled his own so much and Jai headed for the kitchen to set the stuff down on the counter. "What'd you want to drink? Soda? Jack and coke? I can make a pretty decent drink."
Normally Neil would say no to that but there wasn't much normal about what was happening with Jai so he actually thought about it. "Can you make anything as good as that cocktail you bought me?" he asked hesitantly. He wasn't a big fan of alcohol but that drink had just tasted kind of fruity and nice, unlike what jack and coke tasted like. He did have some juice and some soda in the fridge now so if Jai knew how to mix up something good, he'd at least have something to work with. "If not then I'm just having tea with the weed," he added quickly because he didn't want Jai to feel pressured to make something he then might not even be able to drink. Still, something about feeling a little more loose appealed to him now and he kind of wished he could feel as carefree as he had on that Monday night - whatever the reason had been back then.
Jai cocked a dark brow and grinned. "If you've got some juice and ice, I can make you something pretty good. Might not be as good as what you had at the bar, but it'll be decent." Neil liked the fruity stuff. That was okay. Jai liked those drinks too, if he was in the mood. And he didn't want to force jack and coke on the guy either. He set everything on the counter and helped himself to Neil's refrigerator to see what he had. "I can show you how to make it, if you want. If you ever want to indulge when you don't have company?"
Neil couldn't really imagine indulging when he was alone but he still liked the idea of Jai teaching him something so he moved closer to the counter and nodded, watching almost eagerly as Jai got everything he needed from the fridge. It probably wasn't something he needed to be taught, if he really wanted to make a cocktail he could look it up online, he was certain. It was just different to have Jai show him, it added some personal touch that was kind of nice even if it seemed to fire up some of his anxiety to be this close and still try to grasp everything he was being told. "Thank you," he murmured when he had one Jai-made cocktail in hand and he instantly tried it and found that he liked it. Was this what it meant to be a late bloomer? Was he even blooming or dooming? He waited until Jai had his own drink, then led the way to the living room and grabbed his little weed box on the way. "Do you want to watch something?" he asked and he wasn't entirely sure what he wanted to do, distract himself with something on TV or just put on some background noise and try to kiss Jai again.
Jai made his jack and coke and sat down, grinning when Neil joined him with the weed. "We can do whatever you want," he said, though he knew that wasn't very helpful. "I usually have the television on when I smoke, but I'll be honest that I'll probably be pretty distracted, even with it on." Background noise sounded pretty good though. At the moment he wanted to smoke and get Neil to sit down beside him and then probably make out. He was pretty sure that's what Neil wanted to, even if the guy was having difficulty processing it.
The only real reason Neil had a TV was that he sometimes liked to watch documentaries. He was probably the most boring man on the planet and he felt that keenly now that he actually wanted to impress someone. He turned on the TV, set it on a quiet volume on a random station and tried not to overthink what Jai might be so distracted with. It helped to prepare a joint, keeping himself a bit busy even if he was all too aware Jai was watching him do that. Still, he managed not to fumble, this was something he could do blindly by now and he offered the respectable joint to Jai for him to start, it was only polite.
Jai could definitely tell that Neil was adept at rolling joints and he found he liked watching the guy's fingers move so deftly. Grinning, Jai took the joint and got it lit, happily inhaling the smoke. "This is good stuff," he said after a moment. Offering it back to Neil, Jai settled back on the sofa, shifting his body toward Neil more than the television. "How often do you do this?" He already had a feeling Neil did it alone, but that was okay too. Jai smoked alone all the time if Zach wasn't around.
Neil smiled sheepishly after he inhaled, holding it for a second before letting it all out with a huff of a breath. "A lot," he said almost questioningly. It was the only thing that seemed to take the edge off and there was just so much edge lately with everything that had happened and that threatened to happen. He'd always enjoyed smoking but he'd probably doubled his intake after Jane came to town. "How about you?" he asked and took a quick drag of the joint before passing it over to Jai again. He could already feel his nerves calming, like just tasting the smoke was a reminder that better things were on the way.
"A lot," Jai admitted as he took the joint back. "Probably too much. But it's not like there's a whole lot to do in this town." He and Zach always found a way to keep themselves occupied or entertained. Probably in very different ways than Neil. "Plus, you know... it helps kind of ease the stress of living in Point Pleasant, so I'm just thankful smoking weed is legal here." After another drag, Jai settled comfortably against the sofa, still watching Neil rather than the television. "Are you usually by yourself?"
"Yes," Neil admitted. "I don't like most people." He almost wished Jai was just watching the television so that he could watch Jai without being perceived back. As it was his gaze kind of flickered between Jai's face and the joint, his exploration done in quick intervals. He didn't know if Jai was just different or if all the stress lately had expanded his tolerance for people in general but he was leaning toward the former with maybe a touch of the latter. Jai was easy to be around, he wasn't poking fun or asking uncomfortable questions, he was just there, being easy on the eyes and spreading some much needed calm vibes in Neil's apartment.
The answer was so honest that Jai's brows lifted sharply before he laughed. Not at Neil, exactly, but at the answer itself. "I feel you on that one. I deal with people every day, like you. Of course, most of the people I deal with are pissy and irritable about one thing or another. Weed definitely helps." Jai grinned again, liking the way Neil seemed uncertain as to where to look. "I feel pretty special though, if you're inviting me over. I'm gonna try hard to stay on your good side." As he offered Neil the joint back, Jai scooted in a bit closer. Not enough to make Neil uncomfortable, but enough to invade his personal space a little.
Under any normal circumstances it was very easy to make Neil uncomfortable and this little shift of Jai's body should have done just that. Maybe it was the fact that Jai had already had his dick in his mouth at one point, or maybe it was just his general presence, but Neil didn't feel uncomfortable exactly, not even nervous now that the weed was settling in so nicely in his system, just hyper aware of Jai's body and all the ways he might try to stay on his good side. It made him snicker a little, those stupid romance novels were rotting his brain apparently because his mind went to very dodgy places too easily. His erratic gaze landed on Jai's lips and he was unaware that he licked his own. "I don't think you have to try too hard," he admitted and while he could have waited for Jai to make that first move, he suddenly felt bold and leaned in closer to give him a small kiss. It was hard to tell if this was what he wanted, if he felt like he should have this experience or if he was simply going along with what he thought he should be doing, but he felt good and that was pretty much all that mattered.
The kiss was a surprise, but a pleasant one. He really hadn't expected Neil to make a move, but Jai figured with the weed and nerves and their brief history in the Dragonfly bathroom, it made Neil a bit more confident. Or maybe just bold. Jai smiled against Neil's mouth before bringing his hand up to the back of Neil's head. Not to press or hold firmly, but just to touch, to make sure Neil knew that Jai liked him being there. He parted his lips a little, wanting more than just something soft and chaste, but he was more than willing to go along with whatever Neil wanted, at whatever pace he wanted it at. Jai knew Neil was still skittish and he had to walk carefully to keep the guy from sprinting off forever.
He was right about Neil feeling skittish about, well, everything. He felt weirdly not too skittish tonight, a mix of Jai's easy going company and the weed kicking in but there were still things he wasn't sure about, like showing his body to anyone or actually making another guy come. Rather than let things progress naturally he gathered the courage to just ask, not wanting Jai to have expectations of him he might not be willing to fulfill. "Is it okay if we just... only do this?" he murmured but couldn't help but steal another kiss because apparently he really wanted to keep kissing Jai, like his lips were drawn to his and there was nothing he could really do to stop that. "I'm just-" he added but didn't finish the sentence, letting the silence do it for him.
Jai smiled against Neil's lips. "Yeah, we can just do this. I like this." He was more than okay with not getting naked, or even partially undressed. It had been a while since he had laid around just kissing someone and he might go home with a painful set of blue balls, but Jai was willing to suffer through it. He'd never been the kind of guy to push someone else into doing things they didn't want to do and he was glad Neil was able to vocalize things instead of feeling like he had go farther. Besides, with the weed and quiet apartment, it was kind of cozy just hanging out and making out. "We can do or not do whatever you want."
Neil vaguely remembered a heroine in one of his books being moved to actually rip the man's clothes off at a reassurance like that but he didn't feel the urge at all. Kissing was really nice and he liked that Jai liked it, giving him a grateful little grin before taking another hit of the joint. He offered it to Jai again, watched those lovely lips close around it and then felt a little mesmerized by the smoke drifting back out. Neil had never been oblivious to how beautiful people could be, he just generally preferred beautiful things that didn't perceive him back. Something about Jai felt different, he liked the way he looked at him, there was nothing very invasive about it and there was nothing antagonizing about him in that way Neil felt most people were. "I like this too," he mumbled belatedly but time felt very flexible and strange so it didn't feel out of place to him.
Jai handed the joint back, smiling. "That's good. I'd be pretty disappointed in myself if you didn't." He had a feeling that Neil would certainly be a bit more uptight and awkward if he hadn't really wanted Jai there. Hell, he doubted Neil would have invited him over in the first place. Neil didn't strike Jai as the kind of guy who would suffer discomfort just to be polite. Then again... hell, maybe he would. Jai didn't know much about Neil yet, but he wanted to. Tonight though, it would be chill and relaxed with some weed and kissing and Jai was more than content with that.