Sage Monroe (turnitup) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2022-05-11 21:24:00 |
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Entry tags: | #june 2018, marshall, marshall x sage, sage |
Who: Sage and Marsh
Where: The carnival!
When: Early evening, Monday, June 25th
Status: Complete
Sage didn’t really know or care about the rules of dating, but considered a second date in less than a week to be a good thing, especially on a Monday. It said that Marsh wanted to see him, even though it was a work day, even though his clinic had just opened. He was making time for him. On Sage’s part, he was willing to go out in the evening, knowing at some point the sun would set and he’d have to face the darkness. It might not be so bad with Marsh at his side, with the bright lights of the carnival and people all around, but it was a risk, one he was willing to take. If things got bad, they could leave, but they had hours before it was even a concern.
He didn’t dress up for their second date any more than he did for their first, but anyone that knew him could tell he’d still taken time with his appearance. He was slightly less scruffy, as squeaky clean as he ever got, and had somehow managed to find jeans that didn’t have holes in them. The part of him that rebelled against changing for anyone other than himself prevented him from doing much more. He just had to keep reminding himself that Marsh wanted him now, not some version of him that didn’t exist. Not a fake version that he put on for special events. Just him. Sage wondered if Marsh would still feel that way once he was all hyped up on sugar. It was a carnival. It was bound to happen!
The moment they set foot on the grounds Sage could feel his energy level spiking. There was a spring to his step that he just couldn’t stop and he found himself bouncing a little, eager to partake. “I don’t think I’ve ever actually been to one of these,” he grinned. “I’ve seen them, like on tv, or occasionally on the side of the road when we played in other towns, but I don’t remember us ever getting one here.” He didn’t think Point Pleasant was big enough to attract enough people, even in peak tourist season, but apparently he was wrong. “I can’t decide if I want funnel cake or cotton candy. Maybe both? Cotton candy isn’t exactly filling.”
Marsh was pretty excited about the carnival and it gave him something to do on this second date that was a little different from the usual haunts of Point Pleasant. It was a good thing, he didn't know Sage very well but he did seem like he might get bored with the same old same old. Or maybe not, he still lived in Point Pleasant after all. He was mindful of Sage's fear of the dark and tried to find a parking space as close as he could to the carnival though holy shit, was that not an easy feat. "You can have anything you want," he said with a grin as Sage mused about food. "My treat." He was taking in the sights, trying to decide what rides he wanted to go on and if he wanted to try any of the games. They were all rigged so he doubted he could make a great impression on Sage with his mad target skills or anything but making him laugh was just as good.
“Oh damn, that’s a dangerous offer,” Sage snickered. Given the freedom to choose whatever he wanted, he’d probably be hyped up on sugar the rest of the night. “Is there anything you want? Corn dog? Fried cheesecake? We should at least get a drink, then figure out what we want to do.” There was so much to look at that Sage was torn with where to start. He wanted to ride the Ferris wheel more than anything else, but he also wanted a tour of the Fun House. And the bumper cars sounded fun. The games might be amusing, but he didn’t have the money to spend on them and he hated to see Marsh blow his money trying to win some cheap stuffed animal. “How was work today?” he asked as they walked. “Make any new furry friends?”
Marsh steered them toward the ferris wheel, set on riding at least one thing before he started stuffing his face with treats. "Oh yeah, lots of friends," he said jovially. "Didn't cut anyone's balls off so we're all friends for now." That was just the first day, there'd been no emergencies and it had been predictably slow - thankfully, since he'd been alone until Roxy showed up for a job. "Hired a new assistant," he said. "So things should start running more smoothly. You're not scared of heights, are you?" He tacked that last on as they arrived at the line and he looked up at the wheel, kind of amazed at how fast everything had been set up, including this giant ass wheel. Plenty of people had been on it so far and it didn't look rickety so that was a feat. "I won't judge, promise!"
“Oh man,” Sage chuckled. “I guess you’re not popular with the boys.” He hadn’t really thought about all the different aspects of Marsh’s job, but suspected that was a big part of it. “Is the assistant for the front desk? Or helping you with he animals?” Either way, it was probably good to have some help. Very few businesses could be run by one person alone. “Not afraid of heights, thank God,” he smiled. “What about you? Scared of anything?” He’d given Marsh a laundry list of things he was afraid of, so he certainly wasn’t going to judge either. Heights was a normal thing to be afraid of, though he doubted Marsh would have guided them there if he’d had anything to fear, so it must be something else, if anything.
"Not really?" Marsh said. "I mean, scary stuff is scary but I'm not paralyzed by heights or spiders or whatever. I'd be scared of a ghost, probably, and actual monsters, yeah. I'm scared of getting hurt, I think everyone is. So yeah, guess I just have self-preservation related fears, reasonable stuff." And maybe climbing aboard a ferris wheel in a strange little carnival went against that but again, it looked safe. With that out of the way they could wait in line to do just that and continue their conversation so he let it go and smiled again. "Yeah, she's manning the front desk, taking calls and stuff. I hired another guy who'll help me with the animals and go with me on emergency calls if it's necessary. He used to be a cop." He added that last part with a little nudge and a grin. "So I'll be extra safe out there."
“Those are pretty normal fears,” Sage agreed, and he supposed his were as well, considering what he’d been through. Being scared of a tunnel wasn’t normal, but he’d gone through a traumatic event there. Hopefully he wouldn’t stay afraid of the darkness forever. It wasn’t the darkness itself that had attacked him, but the things in it, and those were gone now. “A cop?” he asked, raising a brow. “What’s his name?” He knew most of the cops in Point Pleasant, courtesy of being on their list of questionable citizens. He was sure there were a few he didn’t know, but the chances were high that the name would at least ring a bell.
Marsh knew about Sage's past, though they hadn't talked about that particular thing yet. He hesitated to bring it up and so far Sage hadn't either. "Ty Solomon," he replied and couldn't help but pay close attention to Sage's reaction. If there was bad blood there that could be a problem, but all it really meant was that Sage would stay clear of the clinic because Marsh wasn't going to fire a guy he'd just hired because his maybe-boyfriend didn't like him. "He maybe the only person I've come out to in town beside you," he added with an amused smile, but it had made him feel more at ease knowing his assistant wouldn't frown upon his sexuality, the guy was gay married after all.
Sage blinked, his eyes widening just slightly in surprise. “I know Ty,” he said. “I don’t like cops, but he’s a good man. He’ll keep you safe from—from the wild humans you might encounter while checking on puppies and kittens,” he laughed lightly. He hadn’t quite thought that statement through when he started it. He hadn’t seen Ty since they were in the other place, but he’d known he’d come back, both from the other place and to Point Pleasant. He could feel him now, on the fringes of his mind, a presence he could track down if he needed to. He wouldn’t though; he remembered how pitiful he’d been, scared and defenseless. He liked to think he’d improved, but he knew it was only the situation. Sage went quiet for a moment as he thought about it—if he were thrown back into that situation now, would he do any better? He didn’t think so.
It was a relief to hear Sage liked Ty and Marsh tittered at the mention of wild humans. "Well lucky he's not a cop anymore," he said jovially, even if he thought he knew why Sage didn't like cops. "He's a vet's assistant, you're okay with those, right?" He let Sage climb aboard first, then settled in comfortably next to him, a little thrill going through him. He might not be afraid of heights but they were still... Heights. Bringing up Sage's past seemed like an even worse idea while they were on a ferris wheel, like he'd waited to corner Sage somewhere he couldn't leave before tackling difficult subjects so he tried to keep it light and didn't ask.
“Vet’s assistants are cool,” Sage grinned. “Almost as good as vets. But not quite. You’ve got that doctor thing going that, like, trumps everything.” There was something about men in a position of authority that Sage found really hot, and if it weren’t for his history with cops, they probably would’ve been at the top of the list. The more he looked into his own interests, the better he understood why he thought that was hot, and it didn’t seem to matter that being a vet gave Marsh literally no authority over him. Sage climbed into the cart and took a seat, his energy level starting to rise at the promise of a ride, even a slow paced one like the Ferris wheel. “He’s got a boyfriend, right?” he asked, remembering that Ty had mentioned that and hoping it was still true, both for Ty’s benefit and for his own. He wasn’t normally a jealous person, but Ty was hot, and Marsh would be working with him every day, and he didn’t really want that kind of competition.
"Husband, actually," Marsh replied. "They just got back from their honeymoon. That was apparently like super shocking when they came out, I got a lot of the town gossip every time I came home to visit and that was juicy for a while." Thinking back he probably could have used the opportunity to come out himself but oh well, there was always time and it didn't really feel like a big deal to him. "Two cops coming out in a small town like this? Yeah, it was pretty cool. That's not why I hired him though." He grinned and slipped his arm around Sage's shoulders as their little cart moved forward and up a little higher, rocking slightly when they stopped again. "Man, this does not feel sturdy," he murmured without any real fear behind it. "Why do we love putting ourselves at risk?"
“Oh shit, good for him,” Sage said with a little laugh. It sounded like Ty had made good strides at putting his life back together since his return. It was good to hear that someone was. It gave Sage hope that maybe he’d get there eventually, though he had the feeling Ty was just different than him to begin with. The man had been a cop, something Sage didn’t think he could have aspired to even if he’d wanted to. “I kinda remember people talking about him coming out, but I didn’t really know him then. Glad things are… are better for him. I think you’ll like working with him.” He smiled as Marsh’s arm settled around him, and considered Marsh’s question for a second. mischief sparking in his eyes. “We like risks that are really safe. Or, I do,” he said, shifting his weight just enough to purposefully make the cart swing. Back and forth, back and forth, it creaked with every swing. “It’s the adrenaline rush without the fear of crashing and burning at the end. The thrill when I know there’s no real danger.”
Marsh laughed as they rocked and he supposed that after the real and horrible dangers Sage had faced, a ferris wheel wasn't much of a threat. "Like breaking into a clinic and scoring yourself a date," he teased, but of course Sage hadn't really known it wasn't risky at the time. He'd been half out of his mind, as apparently half the town had been. "Are you trying to scare me right now?" he added, tasting a little something that he associated with playfulness coming from Sage. "Gonna make me hold onto you tighter?" He tightened his hold for show, but his body was too relaxed to really play the part of the terrified date.
Sage’s chin tipped up as he looked towards the sky, both snickering and hiding his embarrassment. “I don’t usually do things like that. That wasn’t thrill seeking; it was… something else,” he said, looking back at Marsh after a minute. “It worked out, but I really thought I was screwed there for a minute.” And not in the kinky fantasy kind of way. Almost anyone else would have called the cops on him and it was still a bit of a shock that Marsh hadn’t. “You don’t seem easy to scare,” he smiled. “But if it makes you hold me tighter, then sure.” He was mostly just playing around. If Marsh had seemed actually scared, he would have stopped immediately.
Marsh understood that it was something else so he smiled faintly when Sage said so, but it was more fun to tease Sage about it than to dive into the morbid potential reasons for why such things kept happening. He thought of that night again and wondered what Sage would say if he told him he'd wanted to punish-fuck him right then and there. He probably wouldn't be thrilled, kinky or not, it was too close to rape and Marsh had a hard enough time with himself being turned on by that without risking whatever he had going with Sage. He'd never act on it, he knew that, and he knew it was wrong, but that didn't stop his dumb brain and dick from enjoying the thought. "I'm not easy to scare," he agreed. "But I don't think I'm brave, I'm just really slow on the uptake. I get scared afterwards, like an hour or two later. Like oh shit, what the fuck was that."
Sage had spent his own bit of time fantasizing about that night, but he wasn’t about to tell Marsh that. If the scenario he had in his head had actually happened, he was sure he would have flipped the fuck out. But that was then, when Marsh had been a stranger and there’d been no trust built between them. Now would be different, even if unlikely. Maybe someday he’d tell Marsh about it, then sneak back into his clinic and see what happened, but not tonight. “That’s probably good. Means you don’t freeze up when, like, in fight or flight mode.” It was something he’d had to adapt to himself. Panicking in the moment could get him killed. There would be plenty of time to be in shock later, when the moment had passed. “What’s the last thing that really scared you?”
Marsh was thankful that his last frightening moment was nothing dark because he really didn't want to talk about Point Pleasant and its scary things. "I had a rhino run straight at me," he said. "And I did freeze in a way, I stood my ground and didn't try to run or jump out of the way. Which in hindsight was fucking stupid but it... worked? I don't think it was trying to threaten me, but there's something about a two-thousand pound critter charging at you that's fucking terrifying even if it's just playing." He wasn't even sure if it had been playing, the whole thing had been weird to the point where he sometimes wondered if it had been a part of his trip and his brain was just mixing up all his memories. It had been pretty early on though, long before he even met Paul the self-professed Shaman. "It stopped maybe... five feet from me? Less? It was wild." He shook his head and then gave Sage a little grin. "I'm proud to say I did not shit myself."
“Oh shit,” Sage laughed as Marsh recounted his story. He’d had monsters charge after him, but that wasn’t on his mind, a foreign thought in comparison to a very real rhino. It was scary in an abstract way, as something he’d never experienced for himself and thus didn’t fear, but could understand and relate to. “I can’t believe you stared it down. I’d have tried to climb a fucking tree if I had to, and I’m not much of a climber. I know there are some animals that you’re not supposed to run from, but I don’t know which ones. Like, is it a bear that you’re supposed to try and be really big? I dunno. I don’t think there’s anything I’d try and fight. Even house cats can be ferocious. Not that I’m scared of them, but I’d rather not fight ‘em, you know? They could kill me in my sleep.” Lots of things could, but his mind wasn’t there at the moment. It didn’t even occur to him that a cat might not even see him while he was asleep these days.
"They're normally not aggressive," Marsh told him. "They just can't see very well. I don't know, it almost felt playful or challenging but since it couldn't really see me from that far away it's probably just my imagination. I didn't so much stare it down as I just stood there and thought 'no way it's gonna run me over'. Like some idiot. Took me an hour and then suddenly I was going 'oh shit, oh shit, that just happened'." He cackled a little and shook his head. "The only good thing about being like that is that I was always up for a challenge, if someone dared me to do something scary it was no big deal until after. I became the go-to-guy at school for the scary stuff."
“They can’t see well?” Sage asked. “I should start using that as my excuse for charging into things. Like, oops, forgot to put my contacts in. Didn’t see you there.” He snickered, aware that he was comparing himself to a rhino, of all things. “I bet you ruled at truth or dare,” he grinned. “I could totally see you as one of the popular kids. I bet some of that scary shit seemed really cool at the time. Stupid later, but, you know, it’s always easier to see that in hindsight.” Sage rarely realized he was being stupid in the moment. That occurred to him later, once he was up shit creek without a paddle. “I feel like I should dare you to do something, but I’m not going to up here. That’s a level of crazy I’m not even willing to touch.” He couldn’t believe how high up they were now, able to see the whole town from the cart. Only an idiot would start coming up with dares while up there.
Marsh could think of a few dares they could do that didn't involve moving dangerously up there but he was fine with not playing truth or dare right now and wasn't even really sure where the idea had come from. That was just Sage though, he seemed a little manic at times in a way that was stupidly endearing to Marsh. He supposed he was right, he had been one of the popular kids at school and it was kind of funny how insignificant all that was from the moment he'd graduated. "Do you charge into things a lot?" he asked, idly fidgeting with the sleeve of Sage's jacket, since he had his arm around him. "I haven't noticed."
Sage’s head tilted from one side to the other as he considered the question. “Depends on my mood. I guess it’s less charging and more spontaneous flurry of activity. It comes in bursts. Otherwise I think I’m pretty mellow.” These days, it was more than just mellow, but he didn’t want to call that out and he doubted Marsh would see it any time soon. He was usually alone when his brain folded in on itself, making him quiet and withdrawn, a stark contrast to the energy he had when he was out with Marsh. A therapist might have a name for those episodes, but he’d rather not add another condition to his list of issues. “Sometimes charging into something’s not physical,” he pointed it. “It can be an idea, or a frame of mind.”
"Oh, in that case I charge too," Marsh tittered and he'd been very literally picturing Sage running into things like a rhino or something - though his bulk wasn't about to do a fraction of the damage even a baby rhino could do, as slight as he was. "I mean, I don't just charge mindlessly but if I get an idea I have a really hard time waiting, I just want to get it going now, now, now!" That probably meant they were a terrible match and should both try to find someone to ground them but it wasn't like he wanted to make life decisions based on what he should do.
“Exactly,” Sage grinned. “It happens to me the most when writing music. I’ll get an idea—a tune, a riff, or a verse—and I can’t leave it alone. I want to run with it, work through it forwards and backwards, call the guys and lay it out. Inevitably, one of them will point out that it’s two in the morning and can’t it wait? Which, yeah, of course, but I’m sometimes in too deep to notice.” He knew hyper fixation wasn’t always a good thing, but he often got a lot done in those moments. It was exciting to jump in and fully submerge himself in a project and when it was something he loved, there was no reason to even try and reign himself in.
It was easy to imagine and Marsh laughed, recognizing some of that behavior in himself, especially back when he was a teenager and never seemed to run out of energy. "It's called a flow," he said. "It's a really nice state of mind, actually, and if you don't push yourself too hard it can be really good for you." He'd always heard of it as an artist-thing but he thought it was an all-across-the-board kind of thing, getting lost in a book or a project or a game, anything could be a flow. "It only sucks if you need someone there with you and they're not in the flow."
“I didn’t know it had a name!” Sage grinned. “That’s exactly it. I don’t usually have to have someone else there, but it’s nice because I can only play one instrument at a time. I’m lucky they put up with me.” His fond smile faded a little as he thought of them, other thoughts filtering in. “I’m supposed to hang out with them tomorrow. It’s… the first time we’ll all be together, since I got back.” Not for lack of trying on their part, but Sage had been putting it off until it felt like he couldn’t wait any longer. “What were you working on, when you’ve been in the flow?” he asked, jumping back to the question he’d meant to ask.
"Sex," Marsh replied, then burst out laughing because it was such a dumb answer even if it was sometimes true. "Nah, I mean yeah, but sometimes I just lose myself in the most random things. Like when I was studying or going over test results I'd just lose myself in it. And computer games, obviously. Gotta keep those reflexes nimble." It was nothing as creative as Sage's flow because Marsh was not an artist, even if he occasionally enjoyed dabbling in creative things, but flow didn't have to be anything at all, it was its own thing. "I've gotten lost in some spreadsheets, I'm sad to admit," he tittered. "Color coding and finding good fonts. I'm a bit of a nerd underneath this cool exterior."
“Oh man, I could totally see that with gaming. We’ll have to compare what we game. I’d totally game with you,” Sage smiled. “Not buying that you’re a nerd though, even if you do have a love of spreadsheets.” If Marsh was a nerd, he was the hottest nerd that Sage had ever met. Maybe everyone in the medical field had to be a nerd on some level. It took a lot of learning to get there. He probably knew things on topics that Sage had never even heard of. They could delve more into it, as well as the video games, but he’d said something upfront that Sage didn’t want to overlook. “You’re gonna have to back up and explain how you can get in the flow with sex,” he grinned. “That sounds like a good time. And maybe more of a marathon than I’ve ever experienced.”
"Hey, I never said the flow had to take a long time," Marsh protested though it was mostly in jest. "Just that it gets intense." He was pretty sure he could carry on a while though, if he set his mind to it, especially if he wasn't coming off a dry spell. "Do you think you could handle a marathon?" he teased as he looked out at the view, it wasn't often he got to see his hometown from this angle and it was beautiful - despite everything that was wrong with it. "Going too long can get real uncomfortable, you know that?" he added a little more quietly, just in case their voice carried. "Whether you come or not, it's a different kind of pain."
“I imagine it’s intense,” Sage grinned, biting his lip as his thoughts spun him into a moment of quiet contemplation. It was only a second or two, but it was enough for him to consider the discomfort Marsh was referring to—the wear on his body, the burn of going that long, the soreness. To feel well and truly fucked was something Sage craved, and something about the pain made it sweeter. It wasn’t near as shocking a revelation after taking the quiz Jacob sent him. He’d had time to marinate in the results and was coming to accept the terms generally used to indicate his sort of desires. “If you’re in the moment though—in the flow—then I’d imagine it also feels good. Good enough to out-weigh the pain. Or better because of it. I’m theorizing, but… maybe someday I’ll find out.”
"Yeah maybe we can figure it out together," Marsh murmured, threading his fingers through Sage's short hair again and giving him a little grin. "If you want." He still didn't know just how much Sage was really into nor did he really want how much he himself wanted to do actually do but he could recognize some of that same darkness in Sage as he carried with him. Figuring out if they wanted to explore it was a different story and the last thing he wanted was to scare Sage off or push him too far. Vanilla sex was great too, he'd been perfectly happy with it all these years and knowing Sage's pain tasted good made him unsure of how to really feel about it all. It was just a part of his attraction to the younger man, but he couldn't help but feel it was a problematic one.
“I’d like that,” Sage muttered as his eyes shut briefly at the gentle touch and he had to fight the rush of arousal that came with it. It wasn’t just having Marsh’s hand in his hair, though he would always love that, but the conversation topic and the fantasies that accompanied it. Now that he was daring to entertain some of the darker ones in his mind, it felt like they were always cropping up, poking him for attention he refused to give them. It was tempting, but putting himself out there like that was huge. It required a conversation first, one that it felt like they were circling around. That should have made it easier, yet the words had yet to come. Plus, they were on a Ferris wheel. “You’re easy to talk to about these things. I’m not used to talking about them.”
Their little cart came to a stop as others started leaving theirs and Marsh peeked down to see how far they were from the platform before pulling Sage in to kiss him. It wasn't a deep kiss or a long one, but it was gentle and intimate and he smiled faintly when he pulled back. "And you're easy to talk to for me, so it seems we got something going on there," he murmured. "Not that you've said a whole lot," he added a bit cheekily. "But I guess here's not a great place to talk about it." He scratched lightly at the back of Sage's head, wishing he could selectively taste even the smaller emotions so he could know for sure what he was feeling.
It was a shame the ride was over because Sage would have enjoyed more of that kiss. It left him with a dreamy smile on his face and a fluttering in his chest, eager for whatever Marsh was offering. “I’ve said more than I usually would,” Sage said with a little laugh. He leaned into Marsh, slipping an arm loosely around his waist in the few minutes they had left before the ride ended. He wanted to encourage every one of those kisses and touches, the casual affection something he’d been missing except for a few notable exceptions. “Maybe I’m working up to it. Get a few drinks in me and I won’t care that we’re at a carnival.” Not that he wanted to get sloshed, but liquid courage had always worked well on him.
Marsh wasn't sure he wanted to talk about it at a carnival, it could be very loud and while he was pretty easy going about sex, he had a reputation to uphold and etiquette to respect. "No alcohol for you," he joked. "Not if you're gonna get all chatty and rowdy on me." He might not care if he wasn't running his own practice but losing out on customers because someone overheard him say something inappropriate was not a risk he wanted to take. "Where do you wanna go next?" he asked and really he thought he could easily take another ferris wheel ride, because sitting here like this was really nice.
“You’ve seen me drunk, like, twice. I wasn’t chatty or rowdy then, was I? I can keep my mouth shut when I need to,” Sage grinned, though he made note of the fact that Marsh seemed to be steering them away from that topic of conversation. Which he supposed made sense, considering anyone could overhear them. Sage wasn’t used to worrying about reputation or public perception—his had been ruined for a good long while now—but he knew that wasn’t the case for Marsh. Private conversation could wait til later, assuming he could work up the nerve. “Ummm… Can I talk you into the Tilt-A-Whirl?” he asked, nodding towards the ride. “You promised me food, but it’d be better to do that before, not after.”
"Yeah," Marsh replied, drawing out the word as he squinted in bemusement. "We don't want to be puking all over the place, that'd be totally unsexy of us. So yeah, let's go get spun and then we can have some drinks and junk food." As soon as they were off the wheel they headed towards the Tilt-A-Whirl, and while that ride didn't really allow for conversation, Marsh managed to snag Sage's hand as they spun around among all the other squealing and laughing passengers. "Is it weird I wanna go again?" Marsh asked as they stepped off and he had to grab onto a nearby railing because his brain hadn't quite caught up with the fact that he was no longer moving. "Shit, I'm dizzy. That was fun. You wanna go again?"
Sage clung to Marsh as they stepped off the ride, certain he would fall over if he didn’t hold onto something and Marsh was his favorite option. He’d just laughed more than he had in the past six months total, so even though he was sure he’d have to crawl off the ride a second time, he found himself nodding eagerly. “Just one more time,” he grinned, thrilled that Marsh would even suggest it. He held Marsh’s hand the whole time, laughing freely with a joy he’d forgotten existed, but two times was enough. “Okay. We need to stop or I might actually puke,” he said between laughs. “Can we sit until the world stops spinning?” It felt like he was drunk, but he knew it would pass in a second. He just needed his stomach to catch up with the feeling.
"Oh my god, yes," Marsh tittered and he felt a bit like he was high, everything was spinning and he could taste Sage's emotions finally, high key and joyous. He was glad he liked that taste too, it was a far better emotion to try to coach out of him than pain and dread. "There's a bench over there," he said and pulled Sage over there. It was probably a wise decision for a ride like this to have a place to sit down nearby, not everyone could handle this kind of thing and not all of them had found out yet. There was already some man sitting there but there was enough space of the two of them to join him so Marsh plopped down, letting Sage take the space farther away from the stranger. "Food after this ride was definitely a good idea," he said, blinking slowly as he tried to will his surroundings to stop spinning.
Sage plopped onto the bench beside Marsh, leaning against him for a moment while the world slowly stopped spinning. It was such a comfortable place to be, close enough that he could smell his aftershave and sweat, and he enjoyed the excuse to linger. “That was fun,” he grinned. “I feel like my brain’s a little scrambled. Maybe my stomach too. Not sure what I want to eat now. I could use a drink though. In a second.” He really did need a moment to let his equilibrium reset. “I probably could have done that ten times over as a kid.” Now, not so much. It was one of the few times that Sage felt old, like his body was suddenly forced to obey the laws of physics where it had previously rebelled. He wondered if it was worse for Marsh, being older than him, but he was in such good shape that Sage doubted it.
"More like in a minute or ten," Marsh tacked on. "I'm not getting up yet." It wasn't just the dizziness, he also enjoyed the way Sage was clinging to him and it was nice to sit there for a minute or two, watching the people who were getting on the ride and see the stark difference in appearances and behavior when they climbed back out. Of course by then it was probably good to move on to give some other dizzy fool a chance to sit down. "This place is making me want to go to one of the big ones again," he said. "Rollercoasters and all. Have you been on one?"
“Only once,” Sage said, looking up at Marsh. “I went to Coney Island with the guys the year after graduation and rode the Cyclone. It’s a big, wooden roller coaster. Doesn’t go upside-down or anything. But it’s old and kinda scary in its own right.” He remembered being afraid that it would fall apart beneath him, or that the car would fly off the track. Nothing like that happened, but knowing a few people had died on the ride over the years made him apprehensive anyways. He would have preferred one of the newer, steel coasters that were smooth instead of rickety, but he’d taken what he could get. “I’ve always wanted to ride a big coaster like you see in the movies. I think I’d like the rush.”
"I think you'd love it," Marsh said and he thought he would be far more scared on one of those old behemoths that probably felt like they were about to glide apart at every bump. "We really are an insane species," he mused. "Loving danger and scary things. The payoff is just so great. Like bungee jumping, I mean what sane man willingly throws himself off a cliff?" He shook his head, then pointed at himself with a somewhat bewildered smirk. "Maybe that means I'm not sane, I don't know. I just love stuff like that, that feeling of falling but knowing you're safe - kind of anyway. You trust in it but you can never be sure."
“Adrenaline junkie,” Sage teased lightly, but he wasn’t really all that surprised. This was the man that stared down a rhino. “I think the key is knowing you’re safe. The danger’s still there. There’s still a risk. But it’s a little bit of a fantasy, isn’t it? Your brain buys into it in the moment. The fear is fun because there’s a safety net. I could maybe do bungee jumping. Maybe. But I don’t think I could ever go skydiving. I don’t think I could make the jump. It’s just a touch too extreme.” Why he could trust a rope to catch him but not a parachute, he didn’t know, but his brain revolted against the idea. “I don’t think it’s for everyone though. We’re all wired a little differently.”
"I'd love to go sky diving," Marsh admitted and this amused him since Sage had called him out on the adrenaline addiction which was probably true. "I never really had the time for that, you don't have to learn anything to throw yourself off a cliff but skydiving? Gotta get to know the gear and it's just a whole big thing. Probably worth it though." He still wanted to go traveling more and try more crazy things that he probably couldn't even think of, having never experienced them, but he had a career to build so instead of one big journey, he'd probably just do a lot of little vacations.
“You could do a... what’s the word… tandem dive? Where you’re, like, strapped to the instructor,” Sage said. “I don’t think you have to learn as much in that case. But if you’re the one pulling the parachute, you better damn well know what you’re doing. If something went wrong, you only have seconds to figure it out, and I’d probably just piss myself and die,” Sage laughed. He was working on handling himself better in a panic, but would never purposefully put himself in a life or death situation where he had to rely on his ability to stay calm. It would be his luck to feint the second he jumped. “Maybe you’ll get to do it someday. Keep it on your bucket list.”
"Oh it's not going anywhere," Marsh said and by now the next batch of Tilt-A-Whirl riders were tumbling off the ride in varying states of being so he got up - slowly so as not to jostle Sage too much - and then offered out his hand. "Let's get some drinks, the world is spinning a little slower now, I think I'm up for it. How about you?" He wasn't expecting the drinks here to be great but if they wanted something nicer they could go to Dragonfly later, at least they had no illusions about the quality of wares here at the carnival.
“Yeah, I’m good now,” Sage said, willing to move for the new batch of carnival goers who had just finished the ride. He’d been enjoying that moment of closeness with Marsh, but reminded himself that there would be others. There were plenty of rides he could cozy up against him on and if that wasn’t enough, they could find somewhere private afterwards. “I’m trying to decide between a beer and the fruity cocktail thing I see everyone drinking. It might be trash, but the bartender in me wants to find out.” If it was horrible, they could laugh about it, but he could get beer anywhere.
Marsh was thinking something similar and he grinned as Sage echoed what he'd been pondering. "Let's try the fruity cocktail," he said as they headed towards the vendor. "If it's awful we'll toss it and get some beers. I can't tell if you're really joking or if you were serious about bartending but I gotta treat the bartender in you anyway, right?" He wanted to keep Sage happy in various ways and treating him to some silly drink was an easy one to do.
“I’m serious,” Sage smiled. “I was a bartender at Dragonfly before I—I left. Teaching music lessons is kind of unpredictable, depending on my load, so it was my second job to make sure I could pay the bills. Even if I start teaching again, I’ll need to find something to make up the difference. Unfortunately, Nate filled the spot while I was gone. I haven’t gotten around to seeing if there’s any openings in the restaurants or the neighboring towns.” He worked bars on and off through the years and enjoyed it well enough. It paid well and it helped that he could talk to just about anyone.
Marsh knew that dating a bartender could get tricky since their hours would be vastly different but at least they didn't have any big time clubs in this town that were open late - unless Sage started working at Cherries. "You'll find something," he told him and he felt as certain of that as he sounded, rubbing Sage's shoulder reassuringly before stepping up to the vendor to order two cocktails. "I feel like we should drink this on the merry go round or something," he said as the stoic man started making the drinks. "Merry Maker. I don't think I can get much merrier, but I guess we'll find out!"
Sage hadn’t considered how bartending might impact his ability to date, in large part because it had never been an issue. It’d been so long since he dated someone and he hadn’t even been bartending at that time. He knew at some point he’d have to juggle multiple schedules, but that was a problem for a later date. He appreciated Marsh’s confidence in him and silently vowed to get his shit together soon. “Can we take drinks on the rides?” he asked, half to Marsh, half to the man making them. The lack of response was weird, but Sage shrugged it off, turning his attention fully to Marsh. “I could handle the Merry Go Round without spilling, if they let us. And I want to check out the Fun House.”
"I'll take that as a yes," Marsh said, a little taken back by the man's complete disinterest in them beyond taking their money and making them drinks. "No worries, we won't take it on the spinny one." Maybe the merry-go-round people would stop them, they'd find out. He gave Sage a bemused smile as they walked away from the vendor, glancing back briefly before speaking low for only Sage to hear. "Charming staff they have here. Not weird at all." He huffed a little laugh and shook his head, not truly bothered by it and barely thinking about it at all a second later. No, he was more interested in going on the rides and trying this cocktail so that's what he did and nodded with a look of approval. "Does your bartender persona accept this drink?" he asked playfully.
“They’re carnies,” Sage said with a shrug, as if that explained it all. He imagined everyone that worked there was some degree of weird, though he kind of expected them to be a little more personable. Maybe that guy was just bad at his job. When he took a sip of his drink, he forgot about the guy entirely. “It’s pretty good,” he said, impressed that it was more than just a watered down mixer with a splash of liquor. It didn’t seem all that strong, but he knew how deceiving fruity drinks could be. “Reminds me of something you’d have at the beach. I’d probably add a splash of blue curaçao if I was making it at home, but it doesn’t really need it. I just like the splash of color. And green drinks are fun.” He took another sip, then another, quickly finding the drink addictive. “What do you think?”
"It's really good," Marsh declared after taking a big sip and taking a moment to enjoy the flavor. "It's like it's just rum with pineapple and lemon or something? But something more than that, I don't know how I'd mix this at home." He took another drink to try to figure out what else might be there and grinned as he realized he sounded a bit like some nerd at a wine tasting. "I'm not that good with flavors," he hurried to say. "These are just... Familiar. I've had a lot of rum and pineapple cocktails in the past." This one knocked them all out of the park though and he kind of wanted to go back and ask the disinterested carnie what was in it.
“I can make it for you at home,” Sage offered, pretty sure he could replicate it, or at least get close. He felt like there was a splash of something extra that he couldn’t put his finger on. “Let me play bartender for you. Get you all boozed up, then take advantage of you. Or you me. I’d like that better.” He snickered, then frowned slightly, surprised at himself. It was something Marsh should probably know, if he hadn’t figured it out already, but he hadn’t planned on bringing it up, certainly not here and now. He smiled, trying to roll with it. “These things might be stronger than I thought.” Which was true, but they shouldn’t have affected him so quickly, even if that was the case. It usually took two or three for his filter to drop, not just a few good sips.
Marsh tittered at that. "We can take advantage of each other," he said suggestively. "I just wish I could figure out how to make your pleasure taste more like your pain." He clamped his lips shut, looking a little startled at the words that had just come out of his mouth because that wasn't something he had ever intended on telling Sage. It made him sound like a damn villain! "I mean-" he added in an effort to somehow twist the words around and make it sound more like a joke or a slip of the tongue but he found he couldn't really come up with anything. "Is that weird? I don't want you to be in pain but it tastes really good, like literally tastes. There's something wrong with me." Nope, that was no better and he leaned away from Sage a little, glaring down at his drink.
Both of Sage’s brows rose as he looked back at Marsh, trying to decide what to make of a comment like that. It was immediately clear that Marsh was feeling the same effects of the alcohol that he was, but he wasn’t concerned about that at the moment, far more focused on Marsh. “What does my pain taste like?” he asked curiously. “The taste part is kinda weird, but weird is relative. I disappear when I close my eyes, remember? The rest is interesting. Maybe good? Depends on the type of pain. Can it be mixed with pleasure? Because that could work. Like, seriously. I took a quiz.” And while that wasn’t how he’d been planning to bring it up, he couldn’t stop himself from mentioning it. He just needed more clarification from Marsh on just about everything because by itself he hadn’t made all that much sense.
I took a quiz wasn't really the reaction Marsh had been expecting, maybe something more along the lines of what the fuck is wrong with you and he was a little baffled but also a little relieved that Sage didn't look upset by his words. He gave Sage a skeptical look, more questions than answers in his mind at the moment but he apparently couldn't bring himself to make up some bullshit about how this had just been a metaphor or something. "I had a weird trip in Africa," he said. "And after that I can taste strong emotions in the people around me. I can't always tell what it is but sadness and pain have a very distinct taste. I don't want to hurt you, but I kinda do? Not in a bad way... What do you mean you took a quiz?"
“That is either very bad news or very good news,” Sage said, his brow creased in thought. If Marsh had told him on their first date that he kinda wanted to hurt him, Sage would have had to say nope and report back to Jacob that Marsh was a possible serial killer. He was having a hard time doing that now though, the need to understand and justify flaring up stronger than self preservation. Knowing what he knew about himself didn’t make it any better, but Sage tried not to let his brain go too far down that road without more evidence. “I took a kink quiz,” he said, surprising himself again. Apparently his mouth was on auto-pilot. “Been thinking a lot about what I’m into, but I’d been skirting around putting a label on it. Because the labels scare me. They sound extreme. But apparently they fit more than I was willing to admit. Kinda accepting it now. So when you say you kinda wanna hurt me, I kinda want you too? Just not too much.”
"Yeah, the labels are very unsexy," Marsh agreed with a sheepish smile. This had gone far better than he could have hoped for, even if he still had no clue why he was blurting out truths like they were answers in a speed-quiz. "I would never hurt you in a way that, yeah, I don't even know why we're talking about this right here where people could hear us." He looked around a bit fretfully and sighed. "I wish I was more like you, not so worried about what people think." He should have stopped there but apparently his mouth was not done. "But I guess you got that way because of everything that happened to you. I've been pretty privileged my whole life and I've never been a suspect in a criminal case or anything." He winced because that was something he hadn't ever intended on talking about unless Sage wanted to. What was wrong with him today? "Yeah I know about that, I don't care, I don't believe you did anything, it's this stupid town."
“I dunno. I told myself I wouldn’t get into this here, like twenty minutes ago, but now I can’t stop talking,” Sage said with a little laugh that was half nerves, half muted hysteria. What the fuck had gotten into them? The more he said, the more he thought this conversation was spinning out of control and he had no way to stop it. It didn’t seem to be a train wreck though, and that was what held him together. It could have been a disaster, yet… it wasn’t. “I don’t care what they think because I know what they think,” he said, the fingers of his free hand beginning to tap nervously against his leg. “They think I’m a murderer. Or that I’m helping cover one up. But that’s not what happened. That’s not—“ Sage swallowed hard, for the first time truly fighting against this inclination to spill every last secret he had. He downed the rest of the drink in one go, stalling for time, and yet that wasn’t enough. “The tunnel ate him. But we couldn’t tell them that. We’d sound crazy.” Fuck!
"I grew up hearing all sorts of stories about that tunnel," Marsh said with widened eyes. "Even people who didn't believe them would hesitate to go out there, you know? So you saw it happen? What do you mean it ate him? Did he just disappear?" He wasn't so sure he wanted to know if it had been any more graphic than a simple disappearance but he was certain that place was haunted as hell; there'd been too many questionable deaths there for it not to be. He'd never heard of anyone going missing there except for Sage's friend though and going missing might not be too weird far out in the woods but the tunnel was a different story. He'd heard theories about what might have really happened but he believed Sage and he didn't feel like he had any reason not to.
“Okay, so the tunnel didn’t actually eat him. That was maybe over dramatic. But there was a thing. A-A monster,” Sage said, his voice now shaking as much as his hands, which could no longer stay still. They ran through his hair, twirled the bands around his wrists, and fidgeted with anything within reach. If Marsh had wanted a reminder of what Sage’s fear tasted like, he was getting a mouthful now, as both memories and nightmares were pulled to the front of his mind. The thing that had taken Grayson was a horror to Sage, an image he was unable to grasp, yet had no trouble conjuring unadulterated terror when he thought of it. And the tunnel itself was a part of it. He was convinced one did not exist without the other. They were tied together, making the tunnel just as evil as the thing that inhabited it. “W-We were fighting. Screaming at each other. And then, fuck, it was there, behind him, arms wrapped around him, claws cutting in as it dragged him into the darkness. It all happened so fast. There was nothing we could do. Nothing. We ran.” That act of cowards helped feed his guilt for years to come, but he still wasn’t sure he could have faced that thing. Definitely not alone. Just thinking about it made him cold, struck with a dread that seeped down to the bone.
Marsh didn't know what the hell he could say to that, it was the kind of shit you saw in the movies and not in real life. Unless it was in Point Pleasant, as it turned out. He pulled Sage into a hug instead of trying to find some dumb words, it was so plain that the memory caused him pain and fear and right now it didn't even taste good, maybe because he knew what it really was. "I believe you," he mumbled as he squeezed Sage tightly, as if he could squeeze that fear right out of him. "I've seen some weird shit too." Nothing like this or the other stories he'd heard but he could imagine a fraction of the horror of having a friend go missing like that. The stories that came before had been bad enough, the haunted look of the grieving families that remained, but he'd never actually met someone who'd been this close to the horror.
Sage curled into Marsh, hands slowly coming up to grip his shirt. He blinked rapidly and took deep breaths, willing himself to find some sense of calm, to feel Marsh’s heartbeat against his own, to take solace in his strength. He hated that it still scared him all these years later, that talking about it still conjured up the fear as if it had never left him. He’d seen worse things since that day, had been attacked by a monster on Main Street and it didn’t have this effect on him, but the fact remained that the tunnel and whatever lived in it haunted him. Maybe it was because he’d never really faced it, but he wasn’t going to do that now. They were supposed to be enjoying the carnival, for fuck’s sake. “Sorry,” he muttered. “I dunno why it still… it still does this to me. I dunno why it’s so bad this time. I normally don’t talk about it. None of us do.”
"Yeah I'm feeling weirdly chatty," Marsh replied, oblivious to the fact that the drink he was holding against Sage's back was to blame. "I didn't mean to bring any of this up. I was just gonna go sit on a painted horse and drink." He huffed a halfhearted laugh and idly rubbed Sage's back. "We don't have to stay here if you don't want to, I'm good either way." They'd just delved into something so heavy, he had no idea if Sage could just shake it off and go back to having fun or not. Maybe he needed to, Marsh was willing to do whatever would help.
“No, I’m good,” Sage said, rubbing a hand over his face in an effort to free himself from the memories, cloudy as they were. “We came here to have fun. I don’t want to ruin the date with a scary story that’s over five years old and I should be past.” He wasn’t, but that was his own issue. He shouldn’t have gotten into it. He shouldn’t have let it take control of him like that. “I knew I’d need to tell you at some point. I just hadn’t planned on doing that today,” he said with a little huff, then licked his lips and looked up at Marsh. “You really believe me? I know it’s a lot. Everyone thinks there’s more to what we said and they’re not wrong. But the cops would’ve never accepted the truth.”
"No, they would have chalked it up to you being on drugs," Marsh replied with a sympathetic smile before nudging Sage's chin with his finger and ducking down to kiss him. "I just keep thinking this could have been me and my friends, we did stupid shit all the time. Like breaking into the Zimmerman house. So yeah, I've seen some shit. I believe you. I don't think you can fake emotions either and whatever you feel when you think about it tells me enough." He clunked his plastic cup lightly against Sage's cup and backed up. "You still want to go horse riding with me?" he asked, gesturing back to the Merry Go Round. "We can still try to have fun."
“Well, we were on drugs, so that didn’t really help things,” Sage sighed, again saying more than he’d planned, but found himself cracking a small smile as Marsh pressed a kiss to his lips. That Marsh believed him meant more than Sage could express. He’d fought with doubt from all angles for years, so it was a relief to receive the opposite. He raised a brow when Marsh said he’d been in the Zimmerman house, a place which ranked up there with the tunnel, though Sage hadn’t been crazy enough to find out. “Let’s ride,” he said, hoping to put the worst of the conversation behind him. “I wanna hear more about this emotion detector thing you’ve got going on.”
Ah yes, the emotion detector thing that Marsh hadn't really talked about with anyone since Africa. He hadn't intended to either and he was almost tempted to change the subject but apparently he still had verbal diarrhea as he happily started babbling and telling Sage all about how it had started after his weird 'spirit trip' with Paul the British Shaman. He even blurted out the fact why he knew the really dark emotions from others, despite wanting to keep the conversation light. The whole story just came out in a rambly mess as they walked to the ride and he was still a little baffled at how little self control he seemed to have, still not making the connection to the drink he was still nursing. At this point he was starting to think Sage had this effect on him, their whole thing hadn't exactly been rational so far, but it was still the most fun he'd had in a while.
Dating a guy that could literally taste his emotions was going to be interesting, but it wasn’t going to deter Sage. He just needed to know how it worked. He supposed that it forced a certain type of honesty; he wasn’t going to be able to hide how he felt at times, but there was also some freedom in that. He’d been hiding a lot lately, putting on a mask to get by, yet Marsh had already seen the cracks in it from the very first time they met. Marsh assured him that he didn’t know Sage well enough to read every single thing he felt, that a mix of emotions could make it more complicated, which settled him a little. There was something scary about being an open book, but there was nothing scary about Marsh, at least so far. Even this new ability didn’t scare him off, and it became a game, asking him how he tasted after various rides, letting it become part of the fun. It was something he needed and it lasted past the sunset, the lights of the carnival bright enough to chase away fear.