Who: Kenzie and Chris When: afternoon, Wednesday, June 27th Where: carnival! Status: Complete
In a town the size of Point Pleasant, it was difficult to miss something as huge as a carnival setting up shop. He and Kenzie had driven around it once or twice to scope things out, but nothing looked terribly out of the ordinary. They had other things to focus on first, but at some point mid-week it seemed like time to actually go in and really explore it for themselves. It was completely possible that it was just harmless fun, not subject to the town’s weirdness ... but Chris wasn’t holding out much hope for that. There didn’t seem like much this town’s weirdness didn’t touch.
Even if it was all mundane, it seemed like something entertaining for them to get into, like a legit date. Keeping that in mind, he made sure not to look like a slob as he got ready, vaguely wondering if the games were rigged to lose, or if he could win Kenzie a giant stuffed gorilla or something cheesy like that. Chris at least hoped it wasn’t a snoozefest.
It was crowded by the time they got there and started walking around, even though it was only around two on a workday afternoon. “Wow, people sure turn out for this shit, huh?” Chris commented mildly as he glanced around at the shifting crowds. A lot of them looked like adults too, not just kids enjoying their summer break.
"What else is there to do?" Kenzie had to admit it was a bit odd that it was so busy on a Wednesday afternoon. But maybe this was the kind of thing employers closed down for. Enjoy something fun and unusual... unusual for Point Pleasant, anyway. The last time she had been to a carnival like this was when she was a teenager in Chicago. It was very different, but the smells and sounds of the place were the same, triggering a bit of nostalgia. There were a lot of games and some rides, but Kenzie wasn't really wanting to stick herself in what was likely a poorly maintained carnival ride designed to make her queasy. "Is there anything you want to do first?" she asked, pushing up on her toes to look further down the aisles. "Maybe grab a drink and take a ride on the Ferris wheel? I haven't been on one of those in years."
Chris had been to quite a few carnivals and events like this, but he’d usually been working them instead of enjoying them as a patron, helping with the medical tents and such that were usually involved in these sorts of things. People drank too much and puked too much and got dehydrated, got heat stroke, had heart attacks, all of the usual shit. It was kind of nice not to have to worry about anyone’s health while he was there, he could just take it all in. “That sounds good,” Chris agreed, eager to get some alcohol. It made being in crowds like this more fun, for sure. “Bet the view is amazing, at least. Here, c’mon.” Chris snagged Kenzie’s hand to pull her toward one of the drink booths. When they got to the front, he was kind of pleased to see that they had more on offer than just watery beer, and Chris ended up ordering a MerryMaker. It had rum in it, that was all he needed to know.
Kenzie was not very good at holding her liquor but she figured she could nurse the Merry Maker for a while and still walk out of there on both feet. After the drinks were paid for and handed over, Kenzie took a sip while looking back at the carnie who had just served them. There was a blankness there that creeped her out but Kenzie decided not to put too much thought into it. Not today. It probably said something about how comfortable she was getting, being there with Chris. She wanted to have fun more than snoop around for any abnormalities. It was so unlike her. Kenzie slipped her hand back into Chris's as they headed for the Ferris wheel. "Lots of rum in this one," she said, sniffing the drink despite the fact that she had just had some. "They should have called it... Cup of Rum."
“Good, then it was worth the money,” Chris murmured as he lifted his cup for the first taste. It was strong, but tasty too, so he gave an approving hum. It filled his mouth with citrus and burned pleasantly going down. Chris thought he might actually be able to get a buzz here without spending a fortune on watered down beer. “We’re gonna shoot hoops later,” he told Kenzie matter-of-factly, giving her hand a little shake. “Or ring toss, or something. Because I have to beat you at something and win a stuffed animal for you to look at every day and remember my superior carnival game skills.” Chris flashed her a grin before he took another sip. When they reached the Ferris wheel line and stepped into it, he put his arm around her shoulders. It was nice to be undercover as married, because it felt so natural now to be affectionate with her.
A soft "puh" escaped Kenzie as tried to imagine herself shooting hoops. "If you want to beat me at something, basketball is definitely it. I think I would be good at the ring toss game, though. Maybe. I don't have a lot of experience in carnival games and the ones I remember playing, I was not very good at." Kenzie had run track in high school but she had never been much of an athlete. She focused too much on her academics to do much else. It was instinctual to lean against Chris with his arm around her shoulders. It was a normal, couple-y thing to do and they had definitely fallen into that kind of relationship since moving out of Juniper. Sometimes Kenzie had to remind herself that the living together and ring on her finger were all for show and not to let work and her personal life bleed into one another too much. "There was a cute stuffed elephant holding a heart at one of the games we passed. I don't think I'll be satisfied with anything else."
Chris hadn’t played a ton of carnival-specific games, but he’d grown up going to arcades, so he thought he was pretty good at that type of game. It was possible he was totally wrong and he would totally suck at it and embarrass himself in front of Kenzie, but that prospect wasn’t as scary as it used to be in his mind. Living together kind of shifted perceptions in some ways. She would surely give him shit, but Chris could take it. “Elephant with a heart, that's what I’ll aim for then,” he murmured with a little smile. A strange wave of sappiness rolled over him, like he would do anything at all to see Kenzie happy, and Chris pulled her in a bit closer to kiss the side of her head. “God knows I love to satisfy you,” he added, smirking as he lifted his cup for another long swallow. Damn, that was good stuff. They shuffled forward in line, and Chris only let go of Kenzie so they could climb into their seat on the giant wheel.
Kenzie laughed. "Yes, you really do." She sat down beside him, shifting to get comfortable as the bar was lowered across their laps. With another tentative sip of her drink, she eyed his cup. "Don't drink that too fast. I don't know that I'll be able to fling you over my shoulder to carry you to the car if you get wasted." She was mostly teasing, though the responsible side of her personality wanted to make sure Chris didn't overdo it too soon. They had just gotten there after all. "What prize do you want me to win for you? A neon plastic necklace? Whoopie cushion?"
“Okay, mom,” Chris teased with a little smirk before he took another drink -- a smaller one -- just because. The alcohol was strong, but he could hold his liquor pretty damn well and he didn’t anticipate getting drunk off of just one of these Merry-things. He settled his free arm along the back of the bench seat behind Kenzie’s shoulders, slouching as much as he could in the little bucket. They drifted forward and slightly up, then stopped again as more riders were loaded on. “I want some slap bracelets,” he decided with a little laugh. “Preferably a pack of like three or five, so I can put ‘em all up my arm, you know? The real cheap ones that will give me a rash if I wear ‘em too long.”
Kenzie elbowed him gently in the ribs and then quickly grabbed onto the metal bar once they began to dip and move. She wasn't scared but who knew how old this thing was. "I'll get you some slap bracelets," she promised, once her spike in mild anxiety from the ride calmed. "I would've thought you'd go for some squishy baseball bat or something like that. You never struck me as the kind of guy who liked jewelry." Kenzie was teasing him, of course, and she raised her brow in amusement as she took another drink of the rum. Now that she had gotten over how strong it was, it was starting to taste better.
“I only like jewelry that’s neon and plastic,” Chris answered with a solemn nod. He could only keep his expression neutral for a second though, then laughed. “And my wedding ring, I liked wearing that one. Jenny let me pick it, which was pretty much the only decision I got to make for our wedding. Not that she was a bridezilla type, she was just way better at planning shit than I was. Still am.” The words came out of his mouth without any thought behind them as Chris glanced down at his left hand. There was a plain gold band there now, his undercover wedding ring, but the one he’d had for his real marriage had been nice and more to his taste. He realized he’d brought up his ex without meaning to and gave a vaguely confused frown.
Kenzie was taken aback by his rather casual mention of his ex-wife... and his wedding ring. Her gaze fell to his "fake" wedding ring just as his had and she felt slightly guilty for it. Wasn't she the one who suggested this undercover bit? Did he miss wearing his real wedding ring? Did he miss his ex-wife? This was unchartered territory for her because Chris never mentioned Jenny unless he was asked directly about it and Kenzie rarely, if ever, did that. "Do you miss being married?" Kenzie asked, quickly taking a drink from her cup after the question slipped past her lips.
The obvious, intelligent answer would be to say No. He’d been divorced for a long time now, his life was completely different and he was happy with that. He was with Kenzie now and he was even happier with that, even if they had to stay on the down low about it to their superiors. But ‘no’ wasn’t what came out. “Yes,” he said, feeling weirdly compelled to be completely honest. “I don’t ... I’m not in love with her anymore, that faded away at some point years ago, but I liked being married. I miss the stability, the familiarity ... everything changes all the time in our lives now, you know? I can roll with it, but sometimes I miss knowing I was going home to my best friend who loved me. There’s an emotional security in that. She was -- no, I keep talking like she’s dead, sorry -- she is an amazing woman, smart and capable and warm ... and I just fucked it all up for us.” It was the biggest regret of Chris’s life, and he stared into the middle distance for a heartbeat or two before he realized he’d just said all of that out loud. To Kenzie. “Shit, sorry, I don’t -- I don’t know ... that was too much,” he muttered, giving Kenzie a wary glance.
It was a lot but it wasn't too much. She had just never really expected Chris to share something so deeply personal. Of course Kenzie was glad that he felt comfortable enough with her to do so, but on the other hand, it sounded like he regretted his marriage breaking up. Well, of course he probably did... how many people celebrated matrimonial failure? It was just a strange sensation for Kenzie to feel jealousy over someone else... especially someone she had never even met. It wasn't angry, all consuming jealousy. Just that vague sort of concern that she may not live up to the ex-wife. That had been someone Chris had planned to spend the rest of his life with. Not someone to play house with for work. "Don't be sorry," Kenzie said with a small smile. "She sounds like she was pretty special to you. I don't have anyone in my past like that. Do you two keep in touch?"
Chris felt embarrassed enough to be uncomfortable, though he couldn’t really articulate why. Having strong feelings about anything, especially sad feelings, was just humiliating. He was a very grown man, he’d brought all of that heartbreak upon himself, it was his to deal with and he shouldn’t dump it on anybody else, least of all Kenzie. Chris kind of wanted to dodge answering and change the subject, but he couldn’t seem to control what he said at the moment. “No, I burned that bridge pretty fast. She had to block me on everything, I was really ... struggling to handle it all. I hear about how she’s doing every couple of years from mutual friends here and there, but that’s it. She moved on and got remarried and has a kid or two now, I think.” All the things both of them had wanted, Jenny had gotten, and Chris tried to be happy for her, but it was difficult sometimes. “... I’m way more stable than I used to be, so don’t think I’ll turn into some crazy stalker ex if you ever want to dump me, okay?” Fuck, what was wrong with him?
To give herself something to do as they rose higher over the carnival, Kenzie drank more of the rum, deciding she might as well given how much it cost, and it might loosen her up a bit, considering the subject matter. The amazing ex-wife was now married again with kids. Had Chris wanted kids? Would he want them now? Kenzie's mind was awash in questions, though she knew the answers weren't really any of her business. Releasing a soft laugh, Kenzie shook her head. "I'm not worried about you becoming a stalker ex, Chris. I'm not really worried about you becoming an ex at all, unless you decide that's what you want. Does that make sense?" Her brows furrowed together thoughtfully before she continued. "I've never been in love before so I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to do or not do. I already hurt you once, back in Atlanta so I don't want to do that again."
It didn’t make much sense only because Chris had subconsciously assumed that Kenzie would be initiating any breakup that they might eventually have. She was sharp as hell and full of ambition, and he was still somewhat of a disaster person, so Chris figured she would move on to someone better eventually. However, what caught his attention the most were the words ‘in love.’ They hadn’t said that big L-word to each other yet, Chris was deep down terrified to start doing that, it came with so much baggage for him. “You’re in love with me?” he blurted. “Because I’m in love with you too and it scares the absolute shit out of me. And there’s no -- don’t worry about ‘supposed to’, you know? We can figure it out together. I royally fucked up the only other relationshp that ever mattered to me, so I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing either.”
Wait. Had she said she loved him? Kenzie's mind raced as panic overtook her, prompting her to drink more of her rum concoction. She had said it. Or implied it. And it wasn't like it wasn't true. She had fallen in love with Chris during their first trip to Point Pleasant, it was just something she had buried because it made no sense. It certainly helped that Chris had said he was in love with her too. Maybe she already knew that but it was different to hear it said out loud. "This complicates so many things," Kenzie said, though she didn't sound distressed by that. "They'll find out eventually. And what if we want to get married, or have a family or move?" She wasn't panicking now, but listing off worrisome realities that probably awaited them. Kenzie was always one to work through a problem and that's what she was doing now, even though some part of just wanted her mouth to shut up because this didn't seem like the time or the place to lay it all out there.
It definitely wasn’t the most romantic moment, and Chris’s stomach felt weird and bad. He was hardly noticing the rising arc of their small carriage and the view expanding around them, far more focused on the conversation. Chris hadn’t even wanted to say that he was in love with her, at least not now, or like this, it almost felt like the words had been pulled out of him against his will. Which made no sense. He didn’t even feel drunk, what the fuck was going on? “Kinda not sure how to feel about that being your first reaction,” he muttered, his brow furrowing. He said he was in love with her and she immediately viewed it as a problem to solve? Not that he’d made some grand flowery declaration or anything. Fuck. Chris felt stuck all of the sudden, antsy like he wanted to get up and pace around, but that was obviously impossible at the moment.
Kenzie frowned as she looked over at him. “Your first reaction was to say being in love with me scared the shit out of you.” Though she knew what he meant. It was scary, for so many reasons. Was it wrong for her to want to try and sort through every reason why it could bite them in the ass? Maybe it was. Maybe this wasn’t how this sort of declaration was supposed to go down. Hadn’t she seen enough movies to know what I love you was supposed to look like. “Look,” she said softly, “I’m sorry. I don’t know… when something feels… big, or overwhelming for me, I try to rationalize and think through it with my head instead of my emotions. I didn’t plan to tell you that I loved you while we were stuck on this ride.” She studied him closely, her heart racing in her chest. “Are you really in love with me?”
Chris rubbed a hand over his face and then back over his short hair. He hadn’t meant to make her feel bad, he knew better than most how Kenzie handled anything scary, so maybe she was kind of scared about it all too. That at least made him feel slightly better about it, like he wasn’t the only fucked up and terrified one. “I know, sorry,” he murmured first. “I didn’t plan on any of this.” Chris knew how he felt about her, he hadn’t been in denial to himself, he just ... hadn’t intended to say it out loud, now or for quite a while. It was so dumb that something so small as speaking words aloud could change things. It was intimidating. Chris’s cheeks flushed as Kenzie stared at him so hard, but he made himself meet her gaze. “Yes,” he said softly. “Since even before we left the last time.” He wanted to ask if she was sure she loved him back, but the question got stuck in his throat.
Kenzie blinked in mild surprise, thinking all the way back to their first trip to Point Pleasant. Did he mean he fell in love with her then? Or before they even arrived? It was a lot to process because while she knew Chris had feelings for her, and she for him, it was different than love, at least in her mind. "I mean... I wasn't lying when I said it complicates things, because it does. But, we can try to figure it out, right? Because I love you too, which is honestly something that I think happened without me even being aware of it." Kenzie had no idea why they were both suddenly being so open with each other, especially on the seat of a Ferris wheel in a strange, supernaturally charged town, but it wasn't like her brain was quieting down and letting her digest it all. "Do you regret telling me?"
“Fuck, Kenz, it just happened like ten seconds ago, I don’t know yet,” Chris blurted out, feeling under pressure to already know he felt about any of this when it had all been just as much of a shock to him. He’d bitten his tongue on saying ‘I love you’ to Kenzie a thousand times by now, with the two of them reunited and living together, but he kept biting it back for a reason. He didn’t feel ready for this, because it did complicate things, on the outside and the inside both. “I don’t -- I haven’t said that to anyone since Jenny and I never really thought I ever would again. Being in love got fucking hard for me, and I completely ruined it last time, and it took so long to put myself back together ... I dunno if I can do all that again and survive it, so I need you to be sure, okay?” His tone and expression had turned almost pleading as his mouth ran away from him, revealing vulnerabilities he’d never intended on revealing. “Don’t say it if you’re not sure. Please. We can figure the rest out, the external shit, but ... please.”
Even if he wasn't saying so, it certainly seemed like Chris had some regrets about telling her how he felt. He looked... unhappy probably wasn't the best word for it, but maybe mildly distressed at the whole thing. "Chris, I said it first," Kenzie pointed out calmly. "Or at least implied it first. Have you ever known me to say something I didn't mean when it comes to something as serious as this? I don't know what compelled me to do it, but I'm not lying." She had never told a man she loved him before and had never found herself in this type of situation. Her career and ambitions had always been her priority and Kenzie wasn't entirely sure how to navigate this conversation. She wasn't Jenny and she hoped he understood that. But she also couldn't make promises or predict the future either.
Kenzie’s calm made Chris feel like even more of an idiot for all this word-vomit about his emotional trauma and baggage, and he had the vague desire to disappear completely. They were gaining altitude now, slowly rotating high above the treeline, and he felt so weird and trapped. He never talked like this, to anyone, and Chris had no idea what the hell was wrong with him. “No, I didn’t mean -- ... sorry, no. I know you don’t lie,” he muttered. Chris stared out at the open sky in front of them and tried to take a deep breath and slow everything down. There was nothing to freak out over, if anything he should be happy, right? Kenzie felt the same way he did, that was a good thing! So why did he want to run? Fuck, he was such a human disaster when it came to stuff like this.
She did wonder if she had done something wrong, or went about this the wrong way. Maybe the rum was stronger than she thought and she was just blurting out things that should have been kept quiet. It was a strange feeling because he said he was in love with her and yet he looked like he'd rather be anywhere but there with her. Maybe he did regret saying it. Kenzie just wasn't sure what she was supposed to do in this situation. There was a slight stinging sensation in her chest because this certainly wasn't the kind of love declaration one sees in the movies, or on television. Though Kenzie had never really been the kind of woman to view those things as reality anyway. "I don't want to make this hard for you the way it was in your marriage," she said finally. "And I honestly didn't mean to make things uncomfortable for you either."
It seemed too huge and difficult to explain to Kenzie that the problems in his marriage had largely come from him, his workaholic nature, and the way his sense of reality had been shattered when he’d learned the truth of the world. All of those things were problems he didn’t think he would have in this relationship. Kenzie worked even more than he did, she already knew about all of the supernatural stuff. They weren’t going to run into the same kinds of problems he and Jenny had, as long as he didn’t let his drinking get out of control again. “I know, it’s not your fault,” he murmured. Chris put his empty cup down between his sneakers and rubbed both hands over his face. “And I’m sorry I’m freaking out. All this just caught me by surprise. And this is why I haven’t said it to you before now, it’s not because I didn’t feel it, I just knew I’d be stupid about it, and here we are.” Chris made a gesture with one hand and sighed. “It won’t be like it was with Jenny, I know that. You’re different people, wildly different circumstances ... I’m way past the breakdown I had back then ... I’m sorry Kenz. You deserved to hear it better than this. Something feels off with me, I don't get it.”
Kenzie watched him as he spoke, finally realizing just how much his marriage messed him up. And now his ex was married again with kids. It had to hurt, even if he wasn't in love with Jenny anymore. Was Chris afraid Kenzie would hurt him too? It was so strange to view Chris as a vulnerable person. He always seemed so untouchable in that sense. It certainly wasn't a turn off. It was another side of him she had yet to see and honestly, it only served to deepen her feelings for him. "It was just the wrong place and the wrong time," she said finally. "I wasn't thinking when I said what I did. I think it's the rum." Kenzie laughed softly, really just wanting to lighten the mood a little. She took a chance and reached over to take his hand. "We don't have to say it to each other, you know. We both feel it and that can be enough. Nothing has to change."
He was afraid of getting hurt again, even if the logical parts of his brain hated that. Chris knew you couldn’t judge anybody by what someone else had done in the past, and he knew that he was in a better mental place than he had been, but the fear was still there. He was just used to having much more control over showing it. Grateful for the contact, Chris squeezed Kenzie’s hand and tangled their fingers together, turning his body toward hers a bit more in the small seat. “Just ... a little more time, maybe?” he murmured a bit sheepishly. He didn’t want to never express his feelings to Kenzie, or for her to feel like she had to hold back on expressing hers, but something had made both of them jump the gun on this, and Chris wanted to do it better at some point. Trying not to spiral out into useless thoughts about all of the things Kenzie deserved that he would struggle to provide, Chris switched which hand she was holding so he could put his arm around her. “And maybe no more weird carnival rum,” he added with a half-smile and a huff.
She had taken a pragmatic approach to her entire life so far, so Kenzie saw no reason why she couldn't view love the same way. It would certainly quell the confusion she felt about the whole thing. If Chris needed or wanted more time, she could accommodate that. It would probably help her sort things out too. "As much time as you need," Kenzie said, settling comfortably against Chris as they rose high in the sky again. "But I agree. No more rum. This is exactly why I don't like to drink." She hadn't even had that much! But apparently she was still as much of a lightweight as she had been in college.
Chris made an amused sound, because Kenzie was kind of a lightweight and he found it pretty cute, but something about it bothered him at the same time. Because he did like to drink and he did it pretty often so he had a decently high tolerance. He didn’t feel drunk in the slightest from the MerryMaker, but he’d still somehow fallen into word vomiting like an idiot. Chris didn’t really want to think about it all too hard though, he was just relieved he hadn’t tanked this whole thing with his big stupid mouth. It made him want to win Kenzie an extra big teddy bear -- or a giant heart elephant if he could find one. Chris let the silence settle for a moment, then pressed his lips to the side of Kenzie’s head. “It really is a nice view though,” he murmured.
She still had some rum in her cup but she wasn't sure she wanted to finish it. If she was blabbing this much, would she get sick later if she drank more? Maybe it was some foreign, carnival-rum. Probably illegal in the states. "It's definitely a nice view," Kenzie said, tearing her gaze away from her cup to look out over the bits of town she could see from above... and the ocean. It was a pretty town, even if it was full of abnormalities. "I think I might like to live here someday," she added without much thought, liking the way the ocean water moved so calmly in the distance.
“Oh yeah?” Chris murmured, his eyes ticking from the beautiful view to his beautiful partner. For some inexplicable reason, the idea of living permanently in Point Pleasant wasn’t an off-putting one. “I could see that. It for sure wouldn’t be boring.” He smiled faintly, thinking of them building some weird sort of life here, maybe even outside of the Foundation, doing their own research, cracking open the secrets of this town themselves. It was funny how three stupid words could send him on such a tailspin, but picturing Kenzie intimately entwined with his future came so naturally. He found himself wondering what their firefighting force looked like, if those guys ended up seeing a bunch of crazy shit during their course of duty. Sometimes he missed feeling like he was concretely helping people.
Was that true? Kenzie's brows furrowed. It would be such a bad idea to become permanent residents of a town like this. But also... fascinating. Life would never be boring. Did she really want to quit traveling all over, discovering new abnormalities and righting the wrongs they created in the world? Even if it held appeal, why would she tell Chris that? It made it sound like she was ready to settle down.... what, twenty minutes after she admitted that she loved him? Maybe playing house was wreaking havoc on her mind. On the other hand, it did appeal to her. A lot. "Yeah, I think so," she said, despite the warring in her mind. "There's so much to unlock here. It's never-ending. Can you imagine going about it alone? Not having anyone to answer to? Being our own bosses for once? No one could tell us we couldn't be together, or assign us to other people. I'm probably drunk right now... which seems impossible, considering I've not even finished one cup of this stuff, but... I don't know. It doesn't sound crazy, does it?"
It didn’t sound crazy to Chris -- in fact, the way she unknowingly echoed his thoughts made Chris’s heart squeeze with yearning. Nobody liked having a boss, but they worked for a highly controlled organization, and if they could find it in themselves to leave ... “Maybe it’s crazy, I don’t really know, but I can imagine it for sure,” Chris answered, hugging Kenzie a bit closer. “I was just thinking of the same thing, being on our own. We wouldn’t have nearly the resources, of course, but ... everything’s a trade-off, you know?” He didn’t know if he was seriously suggesting it or not yet, but the fantasy was certainly appealing at the moment. Chris gave a little huff through his nose. “Maybe we oughta see how it goes for Nick first,” he muttered. If the Foundation wouldn’t let Nick go as just an outside contractor, the two of them were going to run into a lot of problems disconnecting as full agents.
It seemed so out of left field, to be sitting there with Chris, riding high on a Ferris wheel and talking about leaving the Foundation to go it alone. Her ambitions were to run her own team someday, or climb even higher in the ranks, and now she wanted to back away and move to this creepy little town? Was she just semi-drunk or was this all something she had been wanting deep down and it was just now surfacing? Kenzie chuckled softly at the mention of Nick. "Nick's different," she pointed out. "He's more like a contractor. Besides, they'll know enough about him that he knows they can threaten his girlfriend if he starts talking. What if they came in here and wiped our memories? What if they send someone to spy on us?"
“I know he’s different, but I’m saying if he has a lot of trouble getting out as just a contractor, then we definitely will,” Chris clarified. He knew all of this might just be some mutual daydreaming. They were still in the early stages of this whole relationship, they might get sick of each other in a few months and all of this would seem like over-romantic nonsense. Chris didn’t plan on trying to turn in his resignation anytime soon. “And I mean ... I wouldn’t put either of those possibilities past them,” he went on. He knew it was a big deal, but his tone was still pretty mild. Asking ‘what if’ didn’t do them much good yet, since they hadn’t made any moves to make this fantasy real. “But don’t get anxious yet, we’re still just talkin’.”
"Yeah, we're just talking," Kenzie murmured. They might wake up tomorrow and laugh about all of this. They could wake up and Chris could completely freak out about the L-word and everything could go south. Kenzie was a planner. She liked knowing what was going to happen and where her life was headed. But she was aware she couldn't control Chris and she would have to just go with it and see where the road led. The Ferris wheel seemed to be starting to let people off and she lifted her face up to look at Chris. "Promise me you won't shut down on me, okay?"
Chris had tried to be a planner in his life, and all of his plans had crashed and burned, so he’d kind of stopped attempting to predict the future. Maybe he’d gone too far in the other direction, just going with the flow, but it was hard to find a middle ground. His life had belonged to the Foundation for a long time now, he’d just been doing what he was told ... to derail that for himself now would take some planning. Luckily he knew Kenzie was a genius at stuff like that, so he wouldn’t be doing it alone. If they decided to make that sort of break. Chris looked down to meet her eyes, one brow quirking up, but he couldn’t really pretend he didn’t know what she meant. Shutting down was something he was definitely good at. “I promise,” he murmured. He would do his best not to, at least. Since they were still up high and now moving even slower, Chris kissed her softly on the lips. Kenzie was worth the discomfort and effort it took to stay open, he knew that.
Kenzie was glad he didn't try to joke it away, or dismiss her fear with indifference. The fact that he understood and promised was a pretty big deal and she appreciated it. If this was something they ultimately decided to do, they would do it together. If the Foundation decided to come after them, well... she supposed they would have to go on the run and live that way for the indefinite future. But everything was okay right now and she wanted to enjoy it. Returning his kiss, Kenzie lingered on his mouth for a moment as their cart descended to where the operator was letting people off. "Are you going to win me a stuffed animal now?" she asked, once they parted. "Because I refuse to leave without one."
He grinned, immediately feeling his mood lift. Kenzie was good at that, whether she knew it or not. “Hell yeah I am,” he drawled, his expression shifting into a cocky one. “Elephant holding a heart, right? Let’s go find it again.” Chris wasn’t even sure which game booth it had been hanging in, but he would try to win it no matter what it was. He knew that if he didn’t at least put a good show in, he would never hear the end of it from Kenzie, and rightfully so. Most of these places rigged their games to lose, but Chris had heard quite a few cheers of victory as they’d been walking around, so maybe this carnival was more honest than most. It was suddenly their turn to disembark, and Chris got out first and held Kenzie’s hand as she exited as well. There was still a lot of evening left to enjoy, and if he was being completely honest he was kind of glad that this heart to heart had happened.
Kenzie was happy the conversation had happened as well, even if she was a little taken aback by it all. But it gave them something to think about and maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing if her future plans changed. She took Chris's hand and held it as they began to walk away from the ferris wheel, leaving behind the uncertainty and heaviness of what had been discussed. Now they could just enjoy the rest of the night, knowing that they're on the same page and happy about it. Happy enough, anyway. That was all Kenzie really cared about at the moment.