Who: Brianna and Phee When: Late morning, Thursday 6/28 Where: home, car Status: complete
After giving Phee a day or so to “calm down”, Brianna made plans. As defensive as she felt about her choices, Brianna had to admit that her daughter did have a point about not taking the initiative to reconnect with her children. Things had been so strange since she returned home that she was having difficulty adjusting back to her life before. Maybe spending some time with Phee, away from Point Pleasant, was what she needed. What they both needed.
It was possible Phee would scream and reject the olive branch, but Brianna would offer it anyway. Making an effort was important and if that was what Phee wanted, Brianna would do it. So after making a few phone calls, she walked down the hall to Phee’s door and knocked gently. She knew her daughter was home, though stubbornly holed up in her room. Brianna thought about just letting herself in, but there needed to be boundaries and Brianna wanted to show that she respected them.
Spending Tuesday night with Greg had definitely helped Phee’s mindset, even if she still felt kind of lost under all of the pressure of this knowledge. She hadn’t really spoken to either of her parents in a couple of days, since her dad was still out of town, and his check-in phone calls were more and more rare. Maybe the two of them were just avoiding each other, Phee didn’t know. She didn’t feel like she knew much of anything anymore.
She was in her bedroom with some music on, reading a book and making some notes in her grimoire when the knock came at her door. It didn’t sound like Bash’s knock, and Phee’s stomach twisted as she realized that meant it was her mother. She considered just giving Brianna the silent treatment, but she didn’t honestly want to do that, so she cleared her throat and called out, “Come in.”
Phee answering her at all was a step in the right direction. So Brianna opened the door and leaned in a bit, not wanting to completely take over Phee's space. She kept her tone light, her expression calm, but interested. "Do you have plans today?" she asked, well aware of every teenage girl's urge to spend every waking minute with their boyfriend. "I thought it might be fun for us to drive to Portland... I've scheduled some appointments at a spa there. Maybe we can splurge and spend the night too... do some shopping." Aware that she was starting to ramble, Brianna forced herself to stop and wait for Phee's answer. She couldn't help but look a bit hopeful, though. Getting away would be good for them both, and they could properly talk.
Phee certainly wasn’t expecting that sort of invitation, and the surprise showed on her face more than she meant it to. A trip to Portland and spa appointments and shopping and maybe an overnight stay? It seemed like a lot, and there was no question in Phee’s mind that this was a peace offering from her mother. Or she was trying to buy Phee’s silence, it was hard to tell just yet. Still, it was exactly the kind of thing she’d been complaining about not getting from Brianna, so Phee thought it would be stupid to say no. “Oh, um ... no, I don’t have any plans,” she said first, giving a small smile. “That all sounds really great actually. When do we need to leave?” If there would possibly be a hotel room involved, she needed to pack a few things.
Phee was agreeing, so that was a good sign. Brianna was definitely reaching out with a peace offering... though she would have been lying if she said she wasn't hoping she could convince Phee to keep things to herself. Maybe Brianna would tell James eventually but not now. She was fairly certain her husband wouldn't want to hear about it. Not because he cared, but because he might be forced to pretend to care. And that would annoy him. "Maybe thirty minutes?" Brianna wanted to give Phee enough time to pack an overnight bag, just in case the day went well enough that they would stay the night in Portland. "I'm going to throw together an overnight bag and then call your father and Bash and let them know." She was sure Bash would enjoy an empty house for the night.
Thirty minutes wasn’t a ton of time, but Phee had already had a shower that morning so she didn’t feel too rushed. It wouldn’t take long to throw some clothes and toiletries in a bag. She was sure that if they started fighting they wouldn’t stay in Portland overnight, but maybe the time away from this house would do them some good. It would be some of that individual attention she’d been craving, she just hoped it wouldn’t blow up in their faces. Phee closed her grimoire and the book she had open and started to get up. “Okay, I’ll be down soon then,” she said. It felt a little surreal to have this nice little exchange when she had been yelling at Brianna the last time they’d really talked, but maybe that was just the reality of being mother and daughter.
Closing the door so Phee could get ready, Brianna returned to her bedroom to get her own bag packed. Once she was finished and downstairs, she sent a text to James, not really wanting to get into a conversation with her husband. He was probably busy anyway. Bash had her credit card number if he needed anything but she still wrote a note to put on the fridge that he wasn't to have a bunch of people over. It was only one night, but she knew how teenagers could be. When she heard Phee coming down the stairs, Brianna put her phone into her purse so they could get going. "Do you have everything you need? Do we need to stop for anything?"
Phee changed clothes and messed with her hair a bit, then packed her backpack with everything she would need for an overnight stay. She started feeling a little nervous about all of this -- she’d never really been the kind of daughter who had a lot of angry confrontations with her parents, but she had strong feelings about what she’d found out, and Phee didn’t want to keep quiet about them. She just hoped they could both stay calm when they talked about it now. Otherwise this was going to be a bumpy trip. She sent Greg a text to let him know where she was going and how she was feeling, then tucked her phone away and went downstairs. “Nope, I’ve got everything,” Phee told Brianna with a little smile as she descended. “Ready if you are.”
The drive would take a couple of hours and Brianna was sure they would talk about things. But they would be stuck in the car, so it wasn't like either of them could run away from it. "I'm ready," Brianna said, slipping her purse on her shoulder and picking up her bag to follow Phee out the door to Brianna's SUV in the driveway. Once their things were packed away, Brianna climbed into the car to get moving. "What do you think the chances are that Bash throws a party tonight?" she asked Phee lightly as they pulled out of the driveway.
Settled into the passenger seat, Phee chuckled quietly. “Mmm, maybe like, one in three? But he’s definitely gonna invite his boyfriend over,” she said. That was one thing she felt sure of, if there was a chance to be alone in the house with a significant other, both of them were going to take advantage of it. She was sure Brianna knew that too. “If he does though, he’ll clean up and pretend he didn’t, so that’s something, right?” Phee supposed that was something they were all really good at as a family -- pretending.
Brianna laughed softly. "Yes, well, I expected that much, at least. He's always been really good at cleaning up any sign of a party though." It was extremely short notice but Brianna was well aware of how quickly teenagers worked. The house could be full of kids by sunset if Bash started making calls now. She glanced at Phee briefly. "What do you think of Theo?" She hadn't seen Bash and his boyfriend around much, but the relationship was still progressing. Theo was definitely someone Brianna approved of, given who his mother was, but she was still curious, wanting to make sure the young man was good for Bash.
Teenage parties were way different than adult dinner parties, Phee knew just how fast one could be put together too. You just had to invite people to show up, throw chips and booze at them, crank up the stereo, and it was a party. It made her wish very briefly that she was still at home too so she could join in, but this little trip was more important. She gave a thoughtful hum to Brianna’s question. “I haven’t spent a lot of time with him, so I don’t like, Know Him know him, but he seems cool,” she answered after a beat. “He was really nice to me, and I think he’s really into Bash.” Phee hadn’t heard any complaints from her brother about his relationship so far, and she’d asked him how it was all going a few times, so she thought he would tell her if Theo sucked in some major way.
Brianna figured if there was something fundamentally wrong with Theo, Bash would at least tell Phee. But it was good to hear that Phee seemed to like him. Brianna still wanted to invite Theo over for dinner, but she would have to wait until James was home and in the mood to deal with the company. "I'm glad to hear that. He seems to be spending a lot of time with Theo this summer. Which is great..." She trailed off, not wanting to complain that she didn't see Bash much anymore. Phee had pointed out that Brianna was the one being neglectful so that was probably her fault too. "How's Greg?"
Phee knew that Bash coming out had kind of been a shock to her parents, but it seemed like it was mostly James who had a problem with it. While that sucked, at least their mom was supportive of who Bash was. Brianna wasn’t a perfect mother, obviously, but that part was definitely good. She wondered vaguely if her mom would care or even be interested to know that Phee was apparently attracted to girls too. “Greg is good,” she said. “He’s working for this moving company now, so he’s getting like, buffer all the time.” Phee smiled faintly, then quickly felt weird for saying something like that to her mom. “Just as a temporary thing until he gets the firefighter stuff figured out,” she added. She didn’t want Brianna to think Greg didn’t have any ambition, because he did.
It had been a shock when Bash told her that he was gay, but that hadn't changed the fact that he was her son and she loved him. She felt as though James was still struggling with it, but Brianna couldn't force him to accept something he didn't want to accept. Sometimes she felt like his entire family was a disappointment to him, and that's why he spent so much time away. It wouldn't have shocked her to find out he had a different family somewhere else. Phee mentioning Greg's physique prompted Brianna to chuckle. She remembered those days as a teenage girl. "So he's definitely staying in Point Pleasant?" Brianna asked.
“Yeah, so far that’s the plan,” Phee answered. She hated to think about Greg ever leaving town -- leaving her -- and considering the way their relationship was going, she didn’t think that would happen anytime really soon, which was a relief. But then sometimes Phee felt guilty for ‘keeping’ him here, like Greg would’ve galavanted off into the world to have some awesome career if it wasn’t for her. But he’d reassured her several times that wasn’t the case. He wanted to be a firefighter, to do local search and rescue kind of stuff, and Phee knew he was going to be great at it. She glanced over at Brianna, not quite sure if she was really interested or just making small talk.
Brianna also wondered if Greg was staying here just for Phee. She knew all about first love and how powerful it was, but she also thought it was a mistake to try and plan a future around someone who couldn't even drink alcohol yet... legally, that was. If it had been the other way around, if Greg still had a year left of school and Phee had graduated, Brianna would have been pushing her daughter to go somewhere far away for college, to explore and grow as a person. But trying to rationalize with a teenager was near impossible, especially when they were in love. "Well, that will be fun for you both," Brianna said, readjusting her hands on the steering wheel. "I didn't even start dating your father until we were both nearly finished with college. But I remember what it was like in high school, when everything felt optimistic." She paused, not wanting to dive down a path that would just set Phee off. "It's taken some getting used to, but I really like Greg for you. Honestly, I think you've matured him."
Her mother’s words still made Phee bristle a bit inside -- when everything felt optimistic? What was that supposed to mean? That she shouldn’t be optimistic about her relationship? It was one of the few things that Phee did feel optimistic about, and she frowned a bit as she looked out the window. Even though Brianna took a more positive turn, it still bothered her a little. “Maybe so,” she said after a beat. “I kind of think all the crazy bullshit that’s happened to all of us has matured everyone.” They’d all been dealing with heavy things off and on, much heavier things than teenagers should have to deal with, and Phee had leaned on Greg a lot while Brianna had been gone. Then he’d been the one to find her, as crazy as that had been. “Greg was really there for me when I needed him, so ... I’m glad you approve.” Phee couldn’t help but sound a bit sarcastic as she said it -- she was glad, but it wasn’t like her mom had a lot of room to lecture her about relationships right now.
Brianna heard the sarcasm and decided it would be better to remain silent rather than snap back in some manner. They were only now leaving Point Pleasant and Brianna didn't want to blow up the whole trip already. Maybe Phee didn't care if Brianna approved or not, but it felt right to tell her daughter anyway. Swallowing, Brianna motioned to the radio. "Do you want to play some music?" It would fill some of the silence and give Brianna a chance to think and find some topics of conversation that wouldn't upset Phee. Maybe talking about Greg or relationships in general should be off the table. Though Brianna had a feeling they would be talking about Owen eventually.
Phee was tempted to jump into the topic immediately, to shoot the elephant in the room or whatever that phrase was. But they’d just gotten started, and she didn’t want to annoy her mother enough to turn around and never try this again. It was supposed to be a peace offering, right? They both knew it would come up eventually. “Sure,” she murmured. Phee took her phone out and fiddled with the car stereo until it connected to her Bluetooth. She started up one of her favorite playlists, all the songs mellow and folksy and pretty. Phee didn’t give much thought to whether her mother shared her musical taste or not. Brianna had offered, and Phee usually found this kind of music to be soothing. Once it was going she let her head fall back against the seat and gazed out the window to watch all the trees go by.
Brianna didn't mind the music. It was much better than some of the stuff she heard out and about these days. They drove for a while in silence and Brianna let her mind wander. She hoped that this day and evening wouldn't blow up in their faces. It certainly wouldn't fix everything but she was hoping it would fix something. Once she felt like enough time had passed, Brianna glanced over at Phee. "I am sorry," she said quietly. "For what happened the other day."
There it was. Phee hadn’t thought they could dance around it for long. Brianna sounded sincere, at least, and now that she’d had some time to mull it over, Phee didn’t feel quite as explosive about it. She was trying to think of her mother as a full person, like she wanted, but it was a hard mental adjustment to make. “I’m not gonna say it’s okay, because it’s really not,” she answered after a moment’s thought. “But I know you didn’t mean for me to see it. I’m not ... I’m just trying to understand.” Phee looked over at Brianna, her brow furrowed some. “Are you like, in love with him or something? Is he from the other place too? And you’re sure he’s not dangerous?”
"I know it's not okay." Brianna knew that. She could only imagine what her own reaction would have been if she had been in Phee's shoes. Of course, her parents more or less disowned her after marrying James, so... maybe it was a different family dynamic. She bit down hard on her tongue to try and keep the laughter at bay because laughing at something like this would only serve to make a shaky situation much worse. "I'm not in love with him," she said firmly. “He's not... from the other place." She adjusted her fingers on the steering wheel again. "And... if he is dangerous, he's not dangerous to me. He's just..." Just what? What was Owen, exactly? "It's solace, Phee. I know nothing I say excuses it, but I haven't felt like myself in a very long time. I suppose he helps me forget that."
Well that marked two possibilities off of Phee’s mental list. If the guy wasn’t a love-lover and her mom hadn’t been stuck with him for months in some other dimension ... it had to just be a sex thing? Or a self-esteem thing? Solace. Phee listened and tried to wrap her mind around what it might be like to not feel like herself for an extended period of time. “A very long time like ... before you disappeared?” she asked, her voice a little smaller somehow. Had Brianna been unhappy with them for years, even before everything turned for the worse? It had seemed like a given to her that most parents wanted their children and the life they’d built ... Phee had started to question it with her father while Brianna had been gone, and now she couldn't help but wonder about her mother too.
"I don't know. Maybe." Brianna glanced at her again. "I need you to understand something, okay? I've never regretted being a mother. If I had the opportunity to go back in time and do something different, I would never do anything that took away you or your brothers. It's more that being in that place... it changed me. I don't know how yet, but I feel it. It was terrible over there." Pausing, Brianna wished she had brought a bottle of water, because her throat was suddenly dry and tight. "I don't really know how to explain it to people and I don't even know if your father wants the details. I think he wants everything to go back to normal and I'm not sure what normal looks like anymore."
Phee listened and tried to internalize that reassurance. Maybe her parents’ marriage was unhappier than she knew and Brianna regretted her life with James, but not necessarily them ... if that was the best case scenario, Phee hoped it was true. She didn’t think she would really want to be married to her dad either, and it was easier to pin all of this on him, especially since he’d been so absent lately. Well, not even ‘lately,’ a long time. She studied her mom’s profile, feeling sympathy well up for her again. “I mean ... I think we all wish things were normal again, but that’s not gonna just happen because we want it,” she murmured finally. “We have to go forward, not back, and if you feel different, then ... that’s you now.” Phee paused and wet her lips. “Can you tell me? What it was like? I want the details.”
Brianna wasn't sure she wanted to talk about that place. Just thinking about it made her palms a bit clammy and her heart beat faster. But she wanted Phee to understand and maybe forgive her, so opening up might do that better than lying about Owen or admitting that she had doubts about her marriage. "It was like being in Point Pleasant, only... some kind of dead version of it. There was no sun... just fog everywhere. And creatures that lived in it." She licked her dry lips, trying to focus on the road ahead while she spoke. "We never had to eat or drink anything. I don't know why. But it was just filthy, all of it. I stayed in Juniper with Miriam and Deputy Solomon and some others..." Trailing off, Brianna hoped that was enough for now, though she was sure Phee had questions.
She vividly remembered how filthy her mom had been when Greg had brought her home. The not eating and drinking was weird, because it sounded like they definitely would have died otherwise, being stuck in a dead place with no sun for so long. It all did sound pretty horrible to Phee, and she had a feeling Brianna was just scratching the surface of what it had been like. “Creatures? Like the ones in the fog that was here?” she asked, her gaze still locked on her mother. Phee knew in a vague way that all of that had been connected, she’d just never been sure how. “So it was like ... Point Pleasant but in like a dark mirror universe kind of thing? I’ve seen some shows like that ...” It felt stupid to say so, because Brianna had lived through the reality, but that was as much as Phee could personally relate to it.
Brianna nodded. "Worse, maybe... the creatures. We couldn't see most of them, but you could... feel them. Hear them." She hadn't realized how deeply she had buried that whole experience since coming home. Talking about it now had created an icy feeling in her chest, the cold sensation starting to spread throughout her entire body. She instinctively reached over to turn on the heat in the car, despite it being late-June. "It sounds a bit insane to say it's a mirror universe, but I don't know how else to describe it, Phee. Some days I was certain I had just gone crazy and was living inside my own head, in some hospital somewhere. I have no idea how I got home, but I don't think it's possible to be in a place like that for as long as I was and not feel different."
Brianna turning the heat on confused Phee a little bit, but she didn’t point it out, just mentally chewed on everything her mother was saying. How was anybody supposed to respond to all of that? It did all sound kind of insane, but Phee had more or less accepted that insane things were totally possible and apparently happened all the time. “If you say that’s how it was, I definitely believe you,” she said finally. “And I don’t think ... I mean, it makes total sense that you feel different. Of course you do. It’s just scary, I guess, to hear your mom say she maybe hates her whole life, you know?” Worry that she sounded like she was making it about her gnawed at Phee’s stomach, but she wasn’t trying to. “It sounds horrible, like a long-running torture, and that fucks people up for a long time ... I get that. As much as like, I can get that as like, a pampered little rich girl, you know? Even if I can’t fully understand, I want to support you though.” She just had no idea where to start, and she doubted the way Brianna was handling it now was the healthiest way to do so.
Brianna sighed softly. "I never said I maybe hate my whole life, Phee. I just said I hadn't felt like myself lately. But I do appreciate the support. I know things haven't been easy on you or Bash, especially when I was gone. Your father should have been around more." She had forgiven James for that, probably far too easily and far too soon. He had run away, as usual. Brianna could handle it when he ran away from her, but he should have been more present for his kids. Her lips twitched as she glanced at Phee. "And you're not a pampered, little rich girl. Well... maybe you are, but you don't act like it."
That first part was a crazy understatement -- their father hadn’t really been around at all. Not until his mother was in the house anyway, and that had just made things doubly unbearable. It felt fucked up to complain about all of that to Brianna though, considering what she’d just told Phee. All of the emotional trauma Phee had felt while she’d been missing wasn’t her mother’s to sort out for her, she obviously had her own shit to deal with. “Thanks,” she said with a wan smile back. “I try not to. I just ... I dunno, maybe we all need to be in therapy together.” Phee had trailed off into a mutter and she sighed. “I don’t really know how to help, but if you need anything from me, just ask.”
"That goes for you too," Brianna said. "I know I haven't been as present as I should have been, especially once I came home. But let's try to change that, okay? I want you to be able to talk to me." She couldn't force Phee to open up to her, but Brianna wanted her daughter to at least be aware that she was there if needed. "Maybe we can see this weekend as some sort of... reset button. Try to get things back to feeling a little normal, even if it's not."
Phee eyed her mother’s profile a bit warily. She wanted to be able to talk openly with her too, she just wasn’t sure if that would really be the best thing for Brianna. “Maybe normal doesn’t have to be the same as it was,” she offered after a moment. “You’re different, I’m different, let’s just ... yeah, let’s reset and figure out a better way to do it now. Because I want to be able to talk to you too, you’re my mom, and I missed you like a ridiculous amount. I don’t wanna complain about it because I wasn’t the one like, hiding from big crazy monsters, but everything sucked so bad while you were gone.” Spending so much time with Greg had been nice in a way, but Phee hadn’t been in the headspace to enjoy it fully at the time.
"You're allowed to... I don't know that complain is the right word, Phee, but you're allowed to have feelings about what happened. And I'm sorry that things were terrible. I can't imagine any situation where they would have been good but you should have had more support." Brianna was aware that Greg had been there for her daughter, and Bash, but James should have stepped up as a father. The more she thought about it, the angrier she got that he had completely let their kids down. Had it been because he missed her too much? Or because he simply hadn't had it in him to take control and parent for once.
It was pretty validating to hear her mother say all of that, and Phee felt something inside of her unclench a tiny bit. “I’m sorry things were extra terrible for you,” she said after a moment. It wasn’t her fault, but it wasn’t Brianna’s fault that things had been bad here either. Apologies weren’t always about fault, sometimes they were just expressions of sympathy. “Have you, like ... talked to any of the others again since you got back?” she asked a little tentatively. It didn’t sound like the best environment to make friends, but those people could at least understand what Brianna had gone through better than her family could. “Maybe you guys need to form a support group or something.”
"I've spoken to Miriam," Brianna said, though she hadn't talked to her friend in a while now and Brianna knew she probably ought to do that. Her lips twitched at the idea of forming a support group with those people. They were all so different and not everyone had gotten along in that place. "A support group of true misfits," she added with a soft smile in Phee's direction. "Honestly, it feels like avoiding one another helps us forget what we all went through. Sometimes I'll see one of them out and about in town and I just freeze up. I know burying my head in the sand is not a healthy way to deal with it, but I don't know that I'm ready to really talk about it with any of them."
Phee didn’t really know how support groups worked, but she supposed it had to involve a lot of talking, that was true. She could sympathize with not being eager to relive a bunch of trauma, even with the people who had been through it with her. It was hard to think of her mother freezing up -- she seemed so poised and in control all the time, it was a stretch for Phee to see her any other way, but it was just another reminder that Brianna was a full person. “Do you ever ... talk to the guy about it?” she asked with a touch of hesitance. “Since he wasn’t there and he’s ... not family? Like a neutral person.” Or is it just sex? She bit the last part back, it didn’t need to be said.
Brianna tried to imagine being in a therapy group with Deputy Solomon, Jasper Lucas and Max O'Reilly, among others. It was just laughable. Maybe they could bring in Carson the werewolf too and he could howl his memories of that place. Gods, it was so ridiculous. Never mind that Brianna already knew where all of those people were right now. That their location was just engrained in her entire being with no explanation as to why. A part of that place came home with them and that terrified her. Phee's question prompted Brianna to shift her hands on the wheel. Telling her already upset daughter that Owen didn't even know her name, nor she his, would probably make all this worse. "No, I don't talk to him about it. But to be honest, I don't talk to anyone about it," Brianna murmured. She paused a beat before continuing. "Do you want to know what his appeal is to me, Phee? The honest to gods truth?"
She felt both relieved and sad that Brianna didn’t talk to her lover either -- he was still a threatening stranger in Phee’s mind, but she also wanted her mom to have some support from somewhere. The question gave her a bit of pause, and she honestly thought about it for a few heartbeats. It was such a private thing to talk about, and their family had never been great at being candid with each other. But if the two of them were going to really bond again -- for the first time? -- then Phee wanted that sort of honesty. “Yes,” she answered simply, her eyes still on her mother’s profile.
Brianna knew there was a chance that Phee would take her answer personally, even if that wasn't Brianna's intent. But if her daughter wanted honesty, she would give her honesty. "He doesn't know me," Brianna said, keeping her gaze on the highway ahead. "He's not a friend... not in the way Miriam or Margaret are my friends. He doesn't... judge me. He's somebody completely removed from my life, someone that I can spend a few hours with and forget about how complicated everything is. And yet, somehow I get more comfort from him than I do my own husband." She paused, realizing how that might make James sound to Phee, but truth was truth. "And on the shallower side of it all, I'm attracted to him. He makes me feel like I'm the sexiest woman on the planet. Which I know is probably gross and you don't want to hear it. But being a mother doesn't immediately mean I'm devoid of my sexuality."
Phee listened intently, trying to keep any snap judgements that popped up in her mind out of her expression. She wanted to understand this, especially since she was still wrestling with the notion of telling her father about it. If it was something important to her mother ... did Phee really want to wreck it? Especially after everything Brianna had already been through? The way she spoke about him and her feelings made sense to Phee, and she felt more stirrings of empathy than she’d had about all of this so far. “It’s not gross,” she murmured first. “I mean, I don’t want details or anything, but I know you’re like, still a normal human.” She paused again as she thought. Now that she’d been having sex for a while herself and understood it better, she could relate to wanting to feel that desired. Greg made her feel like a sex goddess and Phee couldn’t imagine giving that up now that she’d had it. She was sure Brianna didn’t want to hear about that, even if they were being honest. “I can see where you’re coming from. And I don’t ... everything sucked for so long for you, I don’t want to like, deny you something good. I just ... you really don’t get any of that from Dad?”
Brianna knew Greg and Phee were having sex. She had been the one to get Phee birth control, after all, but her daughter was still correct that Brianna didn't want any details. All she cared about was that they were being safe. It was a little surprising that Phee seemed to sympathize with her a bit, but Brianna certainly appreciated it. She had been expecting harsh words. It took her a moment to answer, aware that she needed to word it just right or risk destroying Phee's perception of her father. "One person can't be everything to you," she said slowly. "Or give you everything... no matter how many books or movies say otherwise. People grow and change. Honestly, Phee, I know that I don't give your father everything he needs either. I don't know that your father could give me what I needed, even if I asked him. But that doesn't mean we don't love each other. It's just different."
It was hard for Phee to accept that was true across the board -- at this point she couldn’t imagine wanting anything that Greg couldn’t give her. He would at least try his damndest to make it happen, whatever it was, because he loved her. She would do the same for him. Why wouldn’t her dad even try? Or maybe he had, behind the scenes, and come up short? Maybe Brianna didn’t want him to know any of this about how she was feeling? Phee had the weird realization that all kinds of shit could be going down under the roof they all shared and she would never know. “Don’t you think there’s somebody out there who could maybe give you more of it, though?” she suggested, her brow furrowed as she tried to sort out all of this very adult-feeling stuff. “Like what Dad can give you plus what the dude gives you? Like you say you love each other, but ... are you only still married because of us? You don’t seem super happy ... even before, I guess.”
Brianna would have understood Phee's belief that Greg was everything to her and vice versa. She was young... not even out of high school yet and first love could be a very powerful thing. But people grew and changed over the years. Sometimes they grew apart, and sometimes they grew together. But change was inevitable. So was heartbreak. Brianna glanced at Phee again, somewhat surprised that her daughter would even imply that there might be someone out there better suited for her than James. It wasn't that Brianna thought James was her soulmate - Brianna didn't believe in such things - but Brianna had always figured her kids would rather their parents stay together, regardless of whether or not they still loved each other. "We're still married because... because we built a life together." That sounded lame to Brianna, so she tried to word it differently. "I can promise you that we haven't stayed together because of you and your brothers. We do love each other. That love has just shifted a bit. That happens when you're with someone for as long as we have. It's... sustainable."
“It’s sustainable as long as you can sleep with somebody else?” Phee asked, her tone a bit incredulous. She wasn’t trying to make Brianna feel bad about the affair anymore, she truly did understand where her mom was coming from. It just cast a pretty bad light on her parents’ marriage, didn’t it? Of course Phee preferred that they stay married, but not if it made either of them unhappy ... and neither of them really seemed happy. Though it was difficult to tell just what her father seemed like when James was gone so often. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do or anything, whatever works for you guys, but ... does it really work?” Phee had no idea what her life would look like if her parents split up, but she felt mature enough to think she could handle it. Honestly, it might not even change that much, considering how little she saw her father now. “I really just want you both to be happy, whatever that means,” she added, then sighed. “Seems like a big ask in this town.”
Not for the first time, Brianna had to bite her tongue on revealing to Phee that James slept around as well and why did she think he was out of town so often? But that would open a completely different can of worms and Brianna didn't want to do anything more that would potentially destroy Phee's relationship with her father. "I don't know what works and what doesn't work anymore, to be honest." Brianna just hadn't put a lot of thought into it since she had been home. She hadn't wanted to. Owen was an outlet for her, but it never crossed her mind once that she wanted to leave James for him. It wasn't that kind of affair. The thought of finding a man who fulfilled every desire and need she had was... well, it was more like wishful thinking. That man didn't exist. "I want you to be happy too," Brianna added after a moment. "I certainly didn't mean to cause any turmoil in your life. But you know what? Point Pleasant is behind us now. At least for the weekend. Let's just forget about whatever is back there and just have some fun."
Phee was sure it was more complicated than it was in her head, most adult things seemed to be, but she had to think that if her mom needed to have an affair to fill in some gaps, then the marriage wasn’t working. It wasn’t her decision though, and she’d never been married, she was only on her first ever boyfriend, so Phee at least had the notion that maybe she was talking out of her ass. It was hard for her teenage brain to think she was completely off base, however. Maybe Brianna would think about it more and things would change, and maybe that would be for the best. “I’ll support you, whatever you decide,” she said, looking over at her mom with a small smile. “I was really mad at you at first, but ... I think I get it now. I won’t say anything to Dad. So ... yeah, let’s just have fun.” It had been ages since they’d actually had fun together, so Phee wanted to move forward without this weight hanging over them.
For a moment Brianna was afraid she might start crying. She was so used to the constant battles with her kids lately that Phee's acceptance, or at least understanding, was a much bigger relief than she thought it would be. Knowing that Phee wouldn't say anything to James helped tremendously. He would have been furious with her. Not that she was having an affair but that she had been stupid enough to do it at home where one of their kids caught them. And knowing that particular truth, Brianna realized that maybe something was fundamentally wrong with her marriage. Didn't she want James to care? Maybe not to be possessive or jealous to the point of abuse, but to want her only for himself? She didn't know and right now, she was too exhausted to think about it. "Thank you, Phee," she murmured. "I don't know about you, but I am ready for a massage and pedicure."
Phee gave a little groan and let her head fall back against the seat. “Yes, please, ohmygod,” she said with a sigh. Sure, she hadn’t been going through the same level of bullshit that Brianna had, but things had been so stressful lately! Some pampering was really overdue for both of them. Phee thought about telling her mother that she had already told Sebastian about what had happened, but then bit her tongue on it. She didn’t think her brother would go to their dad on his own, not with the kind of relationship they had now, and maybe Phee could talk to him again, try to soften his opinion of Brianna like hers had softened. Hopefully he would come around, and they could just continue to let Brianna’s business be her own business. Phee wasn’t sure what the future held, but she felt much better knowing the whys of what was happening, being allowed a look into her mom’s private emotional life. Phee reached to turn the music up a bit, ready to finally unclench and enjoy their mini-getaway together.