Ophelia McCarthy (breatheoutside) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2022-04-03 19:20:00 |
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Entry tags: | #june 2018, ophelia, ophelia x sebastian, sebastian |
Who: Sebastian and Phee
When: evening, Monday, June 25
Where: home
Status: complete
Phee had been incredibly upset when she’d stormed up to her room after screaming at Brianna and the fact that her mother didn’t come to check on her at all was even more upsetting. Why did it feel like she was the one in trouble, when she’d caught Brianna cheating? It wasn’t fair, and it didn’t make sense. Though it wasn’t technically her business, Phee apparently had a lot of feelings about it, and she spent the rest of the afternoon sulking and crying in her room, music up loud. She considered calling her dad to tell him about a thousand times, but every time Phee brought up James’s number, she changed her mind. They hadn’t been having the greatest relationship lately, would this just make it worse? Ugh!
She decided she wanted to talk to her brother first, but he wasn’t home yet, Phee had checked his room once or twice. He was probably out with his boyfriend. Phee could have gone to Greg’s too, and she thought about it, but this felt like a Family First situation. She needed Bash. She always tried not to be a clingy little sister, but today she really felt like she needed him. As the hours aimed toward evening, Phee sent him a text -- will u be home soon?
Bash had been out with friends, taking advantage of the way the daylight lingered late into the day, but it had always been his plan to come back home for dinner. Without a steady job, this was usually the best plan, otherwise he’d spend all his money on food, when he’d rather save it for things like that carnival that had just rolled into town. He wanted to hit it up with Theo, but needed to wait until his day off, or maybe just go in the evening. Or maybe he’d go with Greg and enjoy it twice. But it hadn’t been the plan today, so he’d been on his way home when he got the text from Phee. He frowned a little, sending back a quick response. 10 mins? Everything okay?
At least he answered quickly, but Phee didn’t want to wait another whole ten minutes. She huffed to herself and shook her phone a bit in frustration. That didn’t solve anything though, so she thumbed out an answer. no!! no danger but need to talk to u. come up to my room when u get here pls Phee thought for a second, then added another short message after that one -- don’t talk to mom 1st She didn’t really think that Brianna would intercept Bash once he arrived to stop him from talking to Phee, but it was better safe than sorry. She wanted to give her brother her version of events before their mom had a chance to spin in however she was going to. Maybe she wouldn’t even try, who really knew. This was new territory for Phee. Sighing, she flopped back onto her bed to wait until Sebastian showed up.
Sebastian’s frown deepened as Phee’s texts came through, the feeling that something bad had happened turning his stomach in knots. He didn’t normally need to be told not to talk to their mom first, but the fact that she’d spelled it out meant something. It was amazing how many scenarios he could come up with during that ten minute stretch and his heart was pounding by the time he set foot in the door. He took the stairs two at a time, hurrying his way up to Phee’s room, somehow expecting a crisis, even when she’d said there was no danger. Phee was sitting on her bed, her eyes still red and puffy, and that was enough for him to know he hadn’t completely over-reacted. “What’s wrong?” he asked, toeing off his shoes as he came to join her on the bed. “Are you okay? What happened?”
Phee could hear her brother’s familiar footsteps in the hall and felt ridiculously relieved when he came in and shut the door behind him. She wiped at her damp face a bit more as Bash sat down and started asking questions. “Okay, so I just came home like normal, from hanging out with Jen,” she started, her voice still a little wavery with upset. “And I was coming upstairs and then this guy just walks out of mom and dad’s room? And he’s like, half-naked?! Like some big guy with a bunch of tattoos, putting a shirt on, and mom was right behind him. And for a second I was like ‘ohmygod she was raped, we’re being kidnapped’ or something, but she was fine and that’s like -- she’s cheating on dad with him! She said he was some friend of hers and at first she was like ‘oh he’s just visiting’ like I’m some kind of idiot.” Phee gave her brother an angry sort of ‘can you believe it?’ face. “But then she admitted they’re sleeping together and like, she sent him away immediately but what the fuck, Bash?!”
Of all the crises he’d imagined Phee setting before him, this hadn’t made the list. It hadn’t even been on his radar and being blindsided so badly left him in a quiet state of shock, not sure how to react. His knee-jerk reaction was to be angry with his mother for cheating on his father—how dare she put their family in jeopardy! And in their own house, of all places!—but then they’d never been a fully functional family unit. They looked fine by for appearances sake, but anyone that knew them knew how truly fucked up they were. Or maybe they hid it well. His mother sure as fuck did. “Does Dad know?” he asked, because that seemed crucial. His father’s response was what could break them. They could implode or remain the same, and he honestly didn’t know which was worse.
Phee shook her head. “Mom said he didn’t, and I -- I keep thinking about calling him, but --” She threw her hands up in a helpless sort of gesture. “How do you even start that conversation? Should I even tell him? I asked her if they were getting a divorce and she said no of course not, but like -- do you think they would? If Dad knew?” Phee knew that Sebastian couldn’t predict that, it wasn’t like either of them seemed to really know the mind of their father. But those were the questions that had been tornado-swirling around in her brain for hours now, and she needed to unload them onto somebody. “And I can’t believe she brought him here, ohmygod, who does that?” she exclaimed before her brother had a chance to answer. Phee brought her hands up to cover her face and let out a quiet scream of frustration.
Bash wondered what he would do if this was anyone other than his parents. If it was a girl—not Phee—cheating on Greg, he wouldn’t hesitate to tell him. God forbid Greg ever cheat on Phee. If Theo was cheating on him, he’d want someone to clue him in. But his parents had decades of marriage behind them. They wouldn’t have a simple breakup, but a potentially messy divorce. He’d always thought if one of them was cheating, it would be their dad, and how bad was that that he’d even considered it? Bash bit his lip, trying to decide what to even say in the face of such knowledge. “I can’t even pretend to know what Dad would do,” he said. “It was fucking stupid to bring him here. I mean, she’s been kinda weird since she got back, but—wait, do you think he was over there with her?” He didn’t know why, but he liked that explanation. It didn’t excuse it, but it somehow made it a little better.
That possibility hadn’t even occurred to Phee and her expression said as much, a blankness moving into a dawning realization. A high-speed romance plot flashed through her head, her mom finding solace in some stacked dude over in that other dimension ... it was all so difficult to picture, since she knew next to nothing about that place. There was something about the idea that took a little of the bite out of everything. “I don’t know,” Phee said slowly, her brow furrowing. “She said it had been for only a few weeks ... but she could’ve been lying about that. She apparently lies about all kinds of shit now.” She gave a huff, but the fire in her was dying down a bit. Phee shifted so she could lean her shoulder against her brother’s. “Maybe she’s still just kind of crazy? I dunno what to do.”
If their mother was telling the truth, then it was something she’d started up after her return, not over there, but she could also be trying to cover her ass. It somehow seemed worse if this was something that had been going on for years. Bash wasn’t sure why he was looking for some kind of excuse for her behavior—his parents hadn’t been model parents, and they certainly didn’t have a model marriage. But they’d been good at faking it, and he was a much better liar when he didn’t know the truth. “I dunno,” he sighed, leaning back against her. “Puts you in a really shitty position. Like… it’s hard to just ignore it. It feels wrong not to tell Dad, but at the same time, if you do, then we have to deal with the fallout.”
It did feel wrong not to tell their dad ... but Phee wasn’t super happy with him at the moment either. That didn’t make it any better though, did it? He could be an asshole, but he was still her Daddy, and she was inclined to protect him. Or at least be honest with him. She knew that she would definitely want to know if Greg was cheating on her, and if she found out a family member kept it a secret? There would be hell to pay. “I don’t know,” she muttered once again, her brow furrowed. “Maybe ... maybe I should try to talk her into telling him. I kinda ... screamed at her earlier, so like, not right away. But that would be the right thing for her to do, right? Come clean on her own?”
“It would be better if she told him, instead of you,” Bash agreed. Even though Phee had told him, he was taking no responsibility in this situation. His relationship with both his parents was rocky at best and he didn’t need to make it worse. Phee usually had their father in her pocket though, so even if he got mad at her, he probably wouldn’t stay mad long. And she’d already started this fight with their mother. It just made sense for him to stay out of it. “This shouldn’t be your responsibility. She fucked up. It’s her marriage. If Dad’s cool with it, then… fuck, I dunno. That’s fucked up, but not our problem. I just don’t think it’s right for her to screw around behind his back.”
Phee wasn’t eager to talk to their mother again about anything, much less this, but she supposed the burden fell on her. She had no idea if Brianna would confess on her own now that someone in the family knew her secret ... Phee didn’t really want to run to their dad and tattle on her like some little kid ... but this was pretty big. What if that guy was dangerous? Brianna said he was a friend, but how well did she actually know him? What if he was just sleeping with her and casing the place out to rob later? “It’s not right,” Phee confirmed with feeling, her nose stinging all over again. “And how well does she even know him? What if he comes back to like, kill us all or something?” There were wards on the house, but against that kind of thing? Phee didn’t know if she would feel very safe until James knew. He wasn’t the most perfect dad, but he would protect them, wouldn’t he? Though he hadn’t protected Bash from the dead witch, or Brianna from what had happened to her ... Everything felt so off kilter and scary now, and she wanted to cry all over again.
“I’d like to think we could take him, but I know that’s bullshit,” Bash said with a little snort. He sometimes felt like they were the most incompetent witches in town and no matter how much he wanted to change that, it was still pretty much a fact. He might be able to handle one guy, if he was human and he was prepared for the threat, but he wasn’t counting on it. He didn’t think Phee should either. It was their mom’s fault for bringing a stranger into their house. She needed to right it. “We don’t even know if she was telling the truth. What did she even say? I mean, what was she thinking? Did she try and justify it or anything?” It was so hard for him to understand her at the moment. Cheating was one of those things he didn’t think he’d ever do. He’d rather get a divorce first, if things were really that bad.
Phee didn’t want to have to “take” anybody, and they didn’t know who or what this guy was. Was he another witch? Something else? Terrible possibilities were spiraling out in her head, and she tried to rein it in a little so she wouldn’t completely freak out at Bash. “She just kept saying it was complicated,” Phee said, bringing one hand up to rub at her eyes. They felt like sandpaper. “And that like ... she doesn’t do stuff for herself and she’s trying to figure out her life now, and her decisions have nothing to do with us.” She couldn’t help the hurt in her tone on the last point, because it stung the most. Phee was getting more independent all the time, but she still needed her mom. She was only seventeen. All she’d wanted while Brianna had been gone was for her to return, but it still didn’t feel like she’d really come back. “That’s about when I screamed at her and stormed off,” she admitted with a soft huff. “She did say she was sorry I found out that way a couple of times, but not like, sorry that she did it in the first place.”
“Saying ‘sorry you found out that way’ makes it sound like she was planning on telling you, and I think that’s bullshit,” Bash said, his expression turning sour. None of what Phee had said made him feel any better. In fact, it made things worse. Their mom didn’t sound emotional or regretful in any way; she just sounded pissed she got caught and selfish in a way he’d never thought her to be. “Doing something for herself is getting a massage, or going on a girl’s weekend. Maybe buy a new car. It’s not bringing a stranger into our home and cheating on dad. Figuring out her life shouldn’t mean destroying what she has.” It made him question how much of their mother was still in there. Did she miss them like they’d missed her? Did she even want to be there? For all that he spent avoiding his parents, Bash still wanted their affection. The only reason he tried to write them off was because the more he cared, the more it hurt.
Phee had many of the same questions, and they’d multiplied today. Maybe she should only be concerned, because Brianna seemed to be having some kind of internal crisis, but she didn’t feel capable of just that. She had too many other complicated feelings surrounding her mother and how abandoned she’d felt even though Brianna couldn’t help her disappearance. Maybe they all just needed a family therapist or something. It was just upsetting. It felt like their mom was still lost, and the hope of getting back to normal was dwindling. It all made her eyes and nose sting all over again, and while Phee tried to hold it all back, it was hard to do that when she’d already been crying all day. “It’s like she’s not even all the way back,” she said, her voice cracking as tears started rolling down her cheeks. “Does she even love us anymore?”
It was such a loaded question that Bash couldn’t even begin to answer. He took a deep breath, then blew it out slowly, wishing it was easier, that everything was easier. It should be the easiest question of all, and yet he struggled with it. “I think so,” he said softly, wrapping one arm around Phee’s shoulders in a half hug. He hated to see her cry. “Maybe not the way we want her to, but… I think she does. In her way.” Brianna wasn’t the most affectionate of mothers, in Bash’s opinion, and there were times he’d been glad for that, but more recently it left him wondering where he stood with her. He’d missed her terribly when she’d been gone, had been willing to do almost anything to get her back, but now that she was back he didn’t know what to do. It hadn’t magically repaired their relationship. That was the sort of thing that took time and work and he didn’t even know if she cared. “She seems different than before, and… I don’t blame her for that. I’d probably be all kinds of fucked up. But I don’t know how to fix it either. I don’t think we can. Maybe she can, but… not us.”
She hadn’t really expected Bash to be able to answer that question, it had more been a cry of despair, but it was still comforting to hear him talk anyway. Phee twisted to wrap both her arms around her brother and pressed her damp face into his shoulder. She told herself she wasn’t going to sob, just let off some of the pressure behind her eyes, and she held her breath here and there to make sure she didn’t completely lose it on him. Boys were awful at dealing with tears, even brothers. “She has to w-wanna try though,” Phee pointed out, the words halting and watery. She didn’t see any evidence of that desire from their mom, but maybe she didn’t know what to look for ... or maybe Brianna didn’t really want to fix it. She was still figuring out her whole life now, like she’d said. Maybe she would decide that life would be vastly improved without a family weighing her down. Phee didn’t want to go back to how things had been with her mother gone. If Brianna left, she would leave too, she decided suddenly. Even if it was just down the street to live with Greg. “I hate this,” she muttered miserably.
Thinking about the situation, all of it, not just the cheating, Bash was forced to realize that he didn’t know his mother at all. He knew how to exasperate her, he seemed perfectly good at that, but everything else felt like a guess. He’d always seen her as his mother, but beyond that everything seemed hazy. What she wanted out of life—her goals, dreams, and aspirations—he’d never even considered. Who she was without her kids was a mystery. They’d gone six months without her and he’d hated it, but what if those six months had been a reprieve for her? Not a walk in the park, he understood it was a nightmare, but what if she resented having to step back into the role of wife and mother? It made him feel sick to think about. “Me too,” he muttered. If there was anything hopeful to say, he would have said it, but he continued to come up empty handed.
Similar thoughts were spinning out in Phee’s mind, even if she knew on some level how useless they were. Did everyone’s mother feel like such a mystery to them, or were they just unlucky like that? Maybe she hadn’t changed that much, maybe they’d just never known her, and it was harder for her to hide that now. What if she didn’t even like them? It sure seemed like she fought with Sebastian a lot sometimes, and Phee’s relationship with her had been deteriorating too. Would that make Brianna a bad mom, or were they just bad kids? She knew her brother couldn’t answer any of those questions, and she felt vaguely bad about bringing him down with all this, but she definitely didn’t want to carry this knowledge alone. Phee just sat in silence with him for a little while, then lifted her head and rubbed at her eyes. “Do you have any weed?” she asked. “Can we just like, watch a movie together or something? I don’t want to think anymore.”
“Yeah,” Bash said with a little smile. “Let’s get high and watch something mindless.” There was nothing they could say or do that would improve the situation, so they might as well try and forget about it for a bit. He knew he’d keep thinking about it otherwise, and probably would later, but he didn’t want to spend his evening dwelling on it. Tomorrow he could find a suitable distraction, and maybe even tell Theo about it. An outsider’s opinion might help. He knew he was too close to the situation. Maybe Theo would have some insight on how to handle it that he hadn’t considered. Or maybe things like this always hurt. Most days he wanted to hurry up and grow up, to have the freedom to live his life without his parent’s interference, but that didn’t mean he wanted them gone completely. It felt like things were never right, no matter how hard they tried.
Even though neither of them had a solution, Phee felt marginally better for having talked to Bash about it. At least it wasn’t all her burden to carry anymore, even if the decision on what to do ultimately came down to her, since she’d been the unlucky one to come home early. Goddammit, why couldn’t she have hung out with Jen for like another twenty minutes? Phee didn’t want to know this thing about her mother. She would try not to dwell on it for now and just hang out with her brother and relax. Maybe the next day she would go talk to Greg and get the same objective opinion that Bash was thinking of getting. Phee gave her brother another squeeze and then got up so they could go chill out together and hopefully improve their evening.