Who: Adrian & Kane Where: Castle View When: Tuesday evening, 6/26 Warning: NSFW with some angst. Status Complete, part 2
He looked sinfully good and Adrian let his gaze rake over him, taking in every little detail from the way his chest rose up a bit erratically to the way he so obviously was keeping himself from reaching for his cock. Adrian didn't know if it was because he didn't want to come too soon or if there was more to it, but he felt like there might be more to it, especially with the way he said 'please'. It fired up something inside of Adrian, a powerful and intoxicating feeling that he'd never really experienced as a good thing before. It was related to violence and power but yet so totally different given the context of it. He was making Kane feel good, but he still felt like he was hurting him and it was making him feel heady. Fingers weren't enough anymore, the way his cock throbbed against his thigh was sign enough that he was ready, whether Kane was or not. He'd asked for more, he'd even asked nicely, Adrian would give that to him. He wondered if Kane could come just from getting fucked. Adrian had, though he wasn't sure it counted since there'd been some friction against his cock at the time. He wanted to find out, but he also wanted his hand on that thick cock, to feel it twitch in his hand as Kane orgasmed. Fuck, he was far gone. This guy had gotten under his skin and didn't show any signs of leaving and Adrian hoped he'd done the same to him.
All signs pointed toward that being true and he withdrew his fingers, hurriedly getting his cock lubricated before shifting forward and pushing Kane's thighs up to push inside. Even as he did he thought he might get addicted to this and a small part of him wanted to go back in time and smack his only other fuck buddy for depriving him of this feeling but it was a fleeting thought, one easily swept away as he focused on this moment. Kane was tight and hot, a vice around his cock and yet it felt like he was pulling him in. Adrian couldn't have stopped right now if he wanted to and he didn't even try to take it slow, steadily pushing until he found himself fully seated within. Only then did he stop, taking a moment to enjoy the way Kane clutched him and to give him time to adjust.
By the time Adrian was shifting positions, Kane felt mindlessly needy, breathless and moaning. He was like one big exposed nerve ending, trembly and raw. He lifted his arm to look down as Adrian moved in closer, only putting minimal effort into pulling his knees back so he could enjoy the push of Adrian’s palms against his legs. That forceful thrust hurt in a completely perfect way, and Kane made a low keening sound as Adrian stretched him open. It stung but it felt so good at the same time, the depth making his insides quiver. He wrapped his legs tighter around Adrian to keep him close, and reached to pull him down to his mouth, hungry to feel close to him. There was no way he could keep up any facades now, there was no pretending he wasn’t needy and desperate and pathetic. He felt cracked open and raw, and he didn’t have the energy to pretend otherwise anymore. Kane rocked his hips to draw Adrian in as deep as he could and to get accustomed to that stretch.
Adrian let himself be pulled down, his lips finding Kane's lips to kiss him hungrily and it felt like he was claiming him or demanding more. He was too far gone for pretense right now and trying to hide his raw need for this was useless. Kane might be the one in a more vulnerable position right now but Adrian felt cracked open and laid bare, only it felt kind of good to drop those layers of bullshit and just be. When Kane rocked his hips, Adrian's cock twitched at the friction and he groaned deep in his throat and moved to bite Kane's shoulder instead, feeling too breathless for the deep, demanding kissing he really wanted to do. He rolled his own hips experimentally and found it a little easier to move now so he guessed that meant Kane was ready. He hoped he was ready because it all felt like instinct now, a primal urge to move, to grind against him and thrust into him. He could feel Kane's cock rub against his stomach as he leaned over him and found himself wondering if he could make Kane come just like this.
Gods, that sound he made sent tingles radiating through Kane’s whole body, and he clutched at the back of Adrian’s head, the feel of his teeth drawing a breathy moan out of him too. The liquor and the emotion and the pleasure was all making his head spin in the best sort of way, and Kane reeled a bit harder as Adrian started to move. That first deep pull-push gave him a jolt of ecstasy that felt almost foreign to him, it had been so long. It felt better than he remembered from those random one-offs years ago, more like how it had felt with AJ. Though Kane had spent so long trying to push down every memory of him, maybe it wasn’t, maybe he just wanted it to be. There was too much to think about, and his brain wasn’t functioning right at the moment, and he wanted everything inside him to shut up and just feel. The contact with Adrian’s body was making his cock throb, but Kane felt a long way from coming, so he hoped Adrian had some good stamina. He turned his head to nip breathlessly at Adrian’s ear, soft grunts escaping him now with every thrust.
If this had been their first time, Adrian was sure he'd have come already. It was all so damn intense, his feelings so chaotic underneath all the physical pleasure. He'd definitely made the right call to have Kane fuck him that last time, feeling just a touch more in control tonight than he had then. All he wanted to do right now was get Kane to moan like this some more, the sound hit on something deep in his core, made him feel squirmy and greedy. He didn't normally feel very powerful, not when he was just himself, but tonight he felt like he could take this strong man apart with his dick alone. It was exhilarating, a layer of pleasure on top of layers of pleasure and he kept moving, every thrust sending a rush through him. The way Kane held onto him was almost crushing, but right now he wouldn't have minded being crushed alive. It felt grounding, he felt wanted and Kane felt so damn good around and against him.
Adrian’s feelings weren’t too far off the mark, because Kane felt like he was coming undone. More than he already had been, anyway. It was so intimate, maybe even more so than it had been the first time, considering his fucked up headspace and how tender he’d already been feeling. Now Adrian was inside of him, lips grazing his skin, harsh breath in Kane’s ear. They were as physically as close as two people could get, and Kane felt himself wanting more, more, wanting to pull the rest of Adrian inside of himself too, to keep him forever, because having someone who hated him was better than no one at all, wasn’t it? At least Adrian saw him, knew what he was, and he’d come back. It got even harder to breathe as Kane’s throat started to close up, and he turned his head in the other direction to gasp in more air, his chest heaving under the other man’s. His fingers dug into the muscle working in Adrian’s back and arms, feeling like he needed to hang on as his hips rocked in time with the thrusts, pulling him in deep with each one.
All inhibition was gone and Adrian wanted this to last as long as physically possible. He didn't want to leave, didn't want to talk, be himself again any time soon; he just wanted to communicate carnally, keep kissing and nibbling on Kane's skin, feel his fingers digging into his skin. On a good day he hoped this was what dying would feel like, that he'd be able to lose himself in something so physical and primal that he wouldn't mind it when his lights went out. And still he found himself reaching between them to wrap his hand around Kane's cock, giving it a squeeze just to feel the resistance and heat in his grip. It throbbed deliciously for him and he rubbed his thumb over the tip, getting it slick with Kane's precum.
The pressure in his chest was getting harder to bear, but Kane had no choice but to bear it, and wasn’t that like so many other things? His nose stung and his eyes were watering, but at least the heaved breaths were indistinguishable from the gasps of pleasure Adrian was also forcing out of him with that delicious cock. I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry ran through his head like a mantra, but the words weren’t making it to his lips. Maybe that was for the best, because fuck he didn’t want to derail what was happening, it felt so goddamn good. Kane groaned and bucked a little when Adrian grabbed his cock, the over-sensitive skin practically screaming with pleasure. It was almost too much, but Kane couldn’t possibly stop him, completely lost in everything Adrian was making him feel.
Adrian didn't notice the shift in Kane's mood, or more accurately the add to it, he was too lost in the thick of it all and they were both breathing hard and riding a wave of intense emotions. There were still intrusive thoughts entering Adrian's head, like how he didn't really deserve this kind of pleasure, he was only alive for Mila and other than keeping her happy, what was the point in him being alive? Kane was not a good person, but neither was he, not anymore. Maybe he never had been, he'd just been good at following the rules. It was easier to let those thoughts come and go though, they barely landed, just swept on by, the guilt and fear easily drowned out by everything else he was feeling. Maybe it was no wonder he'd come back, Kane might not make him forget all the bullshit, but he sure made it easy to drown it for a little while. He could feel his own climax getting perilously close and clamped down on it as best he could. It wasn't so Kane could come first, he just didn't want to stop.
There was no question in Kane’s mind that he didn’t deserve this kind of pleasure, but he kept taking it anyway, because sometimes it was the only time he felt human. He’d never been a good person, fucked up since birth, as his father had made sure he understood at a young age, and he hadn’t really gotten any better. Maybe that was why he’d started hunting monsters, to try and atone for some inherent flaw he couldn’t even name. Adrian’s hand on his cock was maddeningly still, just the thumb teasing his swollen head, the sensation almost burning, it was so intense. Kane gripped the backs of Adrian’s shoulders, unable to stop the hoarse low cries in his throat every time Adrian’s body connected with his. “Please, Adrian,” he managed to gasp out, the movement of his hips getting a little more desperate. He felt like he was on the edge of coming or sobbing, and he wasn’t even sure which one would feel better at this point. “Please, I’m sorry, please ...”
The words felt like a hot iron going through his gut, a momentary panic that Kane really was just doing this out of some twisted penance and he wasn't sure what feelings that evoked more strongly, the shame or that still core-deep vindictive need for punishing him. This didn't really feel like punishment, not with the way Kane reacted to him, but what the fuck did he know? His moral center was all askew lately and everything about this was wrong to begin with. And yet, he just buried his face against his neck, breathlessly mumbling something about it being okay even if it wasn't. He got the gist of Kane's plea though and began stroking him in earnest, mirroring the way he knew he himself liked it though he sincerely doubted Kane was picky at this point. Funny how quickly he'd stopped worrying about how good or bad he was at this and just fell into doing it, it all came naturally at this point and he just needed to listen to his own body, the sounds Kane was making and every little signal from his body told him that was enough.
Kane barely even realized he’d let an apology slip out, it just felt like desperate babbling, and it got him what he needed so he was completely unable to dwell on it. His fingers delved into the back of Adrian’s hair again, gripping the short strands as much as he could to hold him close. He barked out a harsh cry as Adrian started stroking his cock, intense pleasure spiking in him. Everything in him felt tight and trembling and he was able to ride the edge for another couple of minutes before he reached his limit. His brain finally went silent as his body completely took over, hips bucking up as that tension bomb in his core finally exploded, the combo of Adrian’s cock and his hand sending Kane flying high into bliss. His back arched sharply and he cried out again, his cock throbbing crazily in Adrian’s fist. He came hard, his big body shuddering as he emptied his balls.
Adrian could barely move through Kane's orgasm but he didn't have to with the way Kane squeezed him and shuddered against him, his muscles flexing and tensing, displaying just how powerful he was. Adrian might have felt impressed by it, maybe even a little wary if he wasn't riding his own edge hard, incapable of thinking much. He momentarily forgot all the bad things he worried about, his mind going blank as he clutched Kane's throbbing cock and fisted his hand against the mattress. That moment before his climax was almost better than the climax itself, too intense in a way that reminded him of stroking out only in a good way, like he had no control over his body, was nothing but nerves and muscle, helpless in the face of what Kane did to him. It was one of those things he knew he should be freaked out about when he was feeling more clear headed and nowhere near the man, but he couldn't find it in him. He didn't move until Kane started relaxing a little and it only took a couple of thrusts before he came. It was more about letting go than working up to it at this point and he moaned loudly against Kane's neck before pressing his forehead against his shoulder, letting those ripples of relief wash over him.
It wasn’t until after he peaked that Kane felt the pain in his back from the wound he’d just roughly rubbed against the bedsheets, all those healing muscles he’d been straining. He didn’t care about it though, having sex with Adrian probably should hurt on some level, so he was okay with it, it balanced the scales a little. Feeling Adrian come right behind him more than made up for it, and he let out an encouraging groan that he couldn’t quite make into words. That pulsing in his ass sent another round of shivers up his spine, everything feeling oh so sensitive. He cupped the back of Adrian’s neck through it, panting hard. As both of their shaky bodies started to relax, a sense of loss slipped into Kane’s heart. It had been incredible, but now it was over, and Adrian would probably want to clean up and leave as soon as he could again. Kane’s legs slipped lower against Adrian’s thighs, but he couldn’t completely release him quite yet, so his arms stayed in place.
Adrian was in no rush to leave, even though on some level he knew he should be. He let Kane hold him down for a while longer, breathing hard against his skin and letting the shivers in his body die down. 'Thank you' was on the tip of his tongue but he swallowed it, feeling like it'd be a weird fucking thing to say. But he felt grateful in a stupid and physical kind of way, pleasantly tired and spent. God he was going to feel this in the morning and he really didn't mind the idea. Eventually he pulled up a little when they had both caught their breath, just enough to kiss Kane again, not ready to untangle from the heat of his body or relinquish this moment just yet. He thought he could still taste himself on Kane's tongue but then everything smelled and felt like sex right now. Even after he broke the kiss he stayed right where he was, pressing their foreheads together and letting their breath mingle. It just felt so incredibly good to be this close to a guy and while he wished it didn't really matter who it was, he knew that wasn't really true.
The kiss made Kane’s chest ache all over again, and he returned it with feeling. His eyes were still sort of watery, and he sniffed when Adrian’s nose bumped against his. He wondered in a vague way if Adrian remembered breaking that nose. Not that it hadn’t been broken a few times before already, but still. Kane closed his eyes, sending a tear rolling down each temple. It was fucking embarrassing, almost-crying during sex twice in a matter of days, but at least he could blame it on his wound or being drunk or something. If Adrian even noticed. He felt plenty of gratitude himself, for a hundred reasons, but Kane didn’t feel like he could thank Adrian either. It wasn’t a favor, and he knew that no matter how guilty he felt. It was some crazy mutual attraction that neither of them seemed able to ignore, an innate understanding that maybe Adrian couldn’t get from anybody else either. Kane scraped his teeth over his bottom lip and sniffed again. “Don’t leave yet,” he breathed. “Please.”
"Okay," Adrian breathed and he was infinitely relieved Kane asked because he didn't want to go yet. He did have to pull out though and preferably flop down next to Kane but even that didn't sound very tempting. He did notice the tears when he raised his head but what the fuck could he say about them? He could chalk it up to the alcohol or the injury and it was only Kane's request that he stay that made him not jump to the conclusion that he hadn't wanted to do this. Or maybe he did and being alone would only make him feel shittier about it. To be fair he'd kinda felt like crying when they first fucked and that hadn't had anything to do with sadness or shame. He'd felt overwhelmed and raw, just like he did now but more vulnerable so he could relate. Or he could be projecting. Truth was he didn't know anything. He kissed Kane again before pushing himself up, allowing himself to look at where their bodies were still connected. "I'll need to go get us some drinks though, I'm fucking parched," he murmured with a faint smile, trying to lighten the mood a little but there was a weight on his chest he couldn't quite shake.
Kane had been trying to brace for a no, maybe something snarky and insulting while Adrian got off of him to get ready to leave, so he was flooded with his own relief when that didn’t happen. He almost wanted to hang onto him harder as he started to pull away, but Kane made himself let go and unhook his legs from the backs of Adrian’s. The only positive was getting to look at his body as he sat up, and Kane let his gaze linger on him as he moved. “Help yourself,” he murmured back. “Grab me some water?” He was tempted to ask for another bourbon, but he knew he needed to drink some damn water. Once Adrian was out of the way, he stretched his legs out and flexed his hips a bit to get them to relax.
It was a novelty being in an apartment where he could just wander around naked if he wanted to and Adrian didn't bother with clothes before he headed out of the bedroom. He took the chance to clean up a little, then grabbed the rest of his clothes from the living room before he brought back some water for the both of them. He sat down on the mattress next to Kane and handed him his glass before tossing his shirt in the pile with the rest of his clothes. "Did I fuck up your back again?" he asked as he got more comfortable, close to Kane but not too close, giving him a little space for now.
While Adrian was gone, Kane rolled over to put his face in his pillow for a moment. He gave himself ten seconds to feel everything and let off a tiny bit of the pressure behind his eyes, then started to pull it all back together. If he acted any fucking crazier than he already had at Adrian, he was going to fuck up what little of a connection this was. It was twisted and dark and confusing, but so magnetic at the same time. It seemed like being so lonely had weakened is willpower, and he really didn’t think he could stay away from Adrian now, no matter how fucked it was. Kane ended up on his back again, swiping the wetness from his eyes and nose. He was feeling at least a little settled again when Adrian came back, propped up halfway against the wall that served as his headboard. “Thanks,” he murmured as he took the water, then huffed softly. “Think so. It was worth it, though.”
"I'm gonna have to superglue that fucker," Adrian muttered and the urge to see and fix was strong. There was a reason he'd become a registered nurse and it was something he couldn't just turn off in himself. "I'll take a look at it before I go," he said while internally clinging to Kane's words. Worth it meant he hadn't just done it to make things up to Adrian and now that he wasn't caught in the mindless heat of the moment, that was an incredible relief. There was still a part of him that regularly wanted to hurt Kane for what he'd done to him, but it was like it was a whole other person that had little to do with this wreck of a man sitting naked next to him now. "I needed that," Adrian admitted in a murmur. "Fuck, I've missed sex."
Kane took a long drink from the glass, nodding a bit to agree that Adrian could take a look. He realized a second later that meant those scratches that Red had left on him would be super obvious -- had Adrian already seen? Did he give a shit? Kane wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He quirked a brow at the last comment, the corner of his mouth lifting a tiny bit. “Been a while, huh?” he asked softly, letting his gaze drift over Adrian’s face. Even though he shouldn’t, he kind of liked knowing that. Adrian obviously had horrible, traumatic reasons for staying celibate -- like being held captive by some evil motherfuckers -- but Kane still liked thinking he’d broken a long dry spell, and Adrian wasn’t running around getting laid constantly. He was hot as fuck, Kane knew he could, if he wanted to.
"Not sure I'd call three days long," Adrian muttered and then smirked at Kane. "Don't get smug about it, you're just insane enough to have sex with me." He knew by now that whatever was wrong with him wasn't contagious but after what he'd done, he wasn't willing to inflict himself on just anyone. That made it sound cruel, like fucking Kane was a horrible injustice against him or something, but it was hard not to feel that way sometimes. Kane could take it because he was fucked up too, maybe even more fucked up than Adrian who was at least holding it together lately. "You know you don't have to," he added, even if it felt stupid to tell Kane that. He wanted to be sure, he was enough of a monster already without feeling like he might be coercing someone into sex. "You owe me a favor, doesn't mean you gotta pay up like this or anything."
Adrian sure as fuck made him feel crazy sometimes, so Kane couldn’t even argue with it being insane. Adrian was just crazy enough to want to have sex with him too. Kane kind of thought that made him more insane, but maybe he was kind of biased. He shot Adrian an incredulous look and snorted softly at the last part. “Nah man, I know it ain’t like that,” he said, shaking his head a bit. “It’s not a have-to, it’s a want-to ... a constant want that’s slowly driving me fucking batshit crazy.” Kane tried to sound light about it, chuckling as he lifted his water glass to his lips again. He hadn’t gotten any sense that Adrian viewed any of this as transactional, or that Kane owed him sex -- he definitely wouldn’t have let Adrian fuck him if that had been the vibe. “How long was it before three days ago?” he asked, eyeing Adrian curiously.
It was none of Kane's business and a part of Adrian wanted to keep it to himself. He took a moment to consider it, mostly because he honestly wasn't sure. Something about Kane got him talking, it was weird and stupid but it was what it was. "Time's been a little hard to keep track of," he admitted. "Last time I had sex I was working in Portland so... A few years." So maybe Kane was allowed to feel a little smug - or he could get over himself and think it was a desperate loneliness that drove Adrian right to him. That had been the case when he kissed him, he wouldn't have dreamed of kissing him if he hadn't been drunk, miserable, horny and lonely, but that had more to do with kissing a guy like Kane coming with a whole ton of risk. There was so much more to it than that now, Adrian couldn't deny that he felt drawn to him, couldn't stop thinking about him. Hearing Kane felt the same way wasn't exactly reassuring because one of them probably should have the good sense to break this off - whatever this was.
A few years. Kane hadn’t gone that long without sex since he’d started having it as a teenager. His longest dry spell had been almost a year, early in his thirties, he was pretty sure. But that was what tended to happen when a person used physical pleasure as a coping mechanism for a whole lot of emotional pain. Kane didn’t know any other remedy for the aching hole in him, however temporary it was. At least no other realistic remedy, since he was pretty sure no one was ever going to love him again. He noted that Adrian didn’t turn the question back on him, so maybe he had seen the scratches and didn’t need to ask. Part of him wanted to confess it before it came up, but maybe Adrian didn’t want to hear about it at all. “Well ... hope it’s been a nice welcome back to fucking,” he murmured instead, still a tiny bit smirky. They obviously had red hot chemistry, for better or worse, so Kane was pretty sure Adrian had been enjoying himself.
Adrian couldn't help the little laugh that bubbled up. Yeah, that was one way of putting it. Nice. "It's been adequate," he murmured before drinking some of his water, knowing full well Kane knew just how good it was. Not that he had a whole lot to compare it in terms of experience but he knew what his body liked and this was it. "It's weird being here," he murmured, looking around the room. "This is probably what my place would look like if I had one." Realistically it was more likely to be filled with mismatched furniture. He couldn't underestimate his mother's church friends and he was dreading their charity when the time came. Everyone wanted to see him succeed and he didn't deserve it, if it hadn't been for Mila being in danger, he was pretty sure he'd have stayed gone.
‘Adequate’ made him grin faintly, though it didn’t last long. Kane glanced around his spartan bedroom, and huffed quietly as Bailey’s words came back to him. “My sister says it looks like a serial killer’s apartment,” he said. He bit back on the ‘joke’ that he was a serial killer, since this was probably bad company for that. “You gonna get one soon though? It’s hard to stalk you when you’re living with family.” Kane offered a faint smile. He wasn’t really stalking him anymore, obviously, but he’d definitely driven by that house several times on purpose in the past. Before things had shifted between them.
There it was again, that thrill at the thought of Kane actually stalking him. He'd felt it at the cabin too, a twisted need to be desired that Kane was feeding right into and he wasn't sure which one of them was more fucked up. "I'll make sure to go for lonely walks more often until I get a place of my own," he said with a wry smile, though honestly he was far more eager to just show up at Kane's doorstep more often and he had no idea if he'd get a place anytime soon. "You have my number now," he said, realizing that belatedly and considering how likely this was to go very badly. He was hooked now, but what if he came to his senses? Would Kane keep stalking him? Would it turn violent again? It was hard to care or really believe it would when he suddenly felt the urge to crawl up on Kane's lap and kiss him again, now that he'd had time to catch his breath and drink some water. He finished said water and put the glass down next to the mattress, then moved to stretch out by Kane's side, resting his back against the wall next to him.
Now it seemed like stalking Adrian out for a walk alone would be more like just swinging by and picking him up, and Kane kind of loved that. Kane didn’t really deserve his trust, and he knew it, so the fact that Adrian was even willing to get in a car with him was pretty big. Having him lounging naked in his bed was even bigger. Kane hummed a ‘mmhmm’ as he drained the last of his own water and set the glass aside. “You done fucked up now, ‘cause I’m gonna use it, too,” he murmured as he resettled on his side, facing Adrian, his head propped up on one hand. It was a toothless threat, he had no idea yet if he would have the balls to text Adrian all the time. Kane let his gaze drift over him, drinking in all of that beautiful skin. He had the stupid urge to start talking, to tell Adrian everything about him all in a big rush -- about his father, the military, AJ, all of the heartbreaking things he’d witnessed over the years. It was the same sort of urge that had made him blurt out too much to Bailey, but he seemed to have more control now. That was probably good. Kane moved his hand to drift fingertips up the length of Adrian’s arm until it settled against his chest, the touch light like he was ready to pull back at any sign Adrian didn’t want that. “Tell me somethin’,” he said softly. “About you. As like, a person.”
"As a person," Adrian drawled with a small resigned smile. He barely knew who he was as a person anymore, everything he felt like he could tell Kane about himself pre-trauma didn't feel true anymore, like that man had been someone else - and maybe he had been. He didn't enjoy dumb pranks anymore, all his best friends were dead, he didn't feel as at ease around his parents as he'd used to, he couldn't even drink anymore. "I like driving and listening to music," he said and he didn't mind that touch from Kane, it felt nice and he kind of wanted to shift around as well, lie down and just enjoy this afterglow and light touching. He stayed where he was for now, idly running his finger over Kane's wrist. "You'd think I'd be sick of cars by now but I'm not. And I'm making new friends, I guess. It's weird. Like there's a glass wall between us." Was that why he was so drawn to Kane? He felt real and tangible, solid and close. That was probably messed up. "I'm getting scary good at ignoring all the bad shit I've done."
Not only did Adrian accept the hand on him, he touched him back, and that did all kinds of stupid things to Kane’s insides. They’d fucked twice now, and made out a few times, he didn’t know why any other touch mattered, but it did. Kane listened, trying to picture himself making new friends and failing miserably. Besides seducing new fuckbuddies here and there, he hadn’t been able to connect with anyone on a personal level for years. That happened when you were a monster, he guessed. The last part made him huff softly out of his nose. “That’s self preservation right there,” he murmured. “You can’t function if you don’t put that weight down sometimes.” At least he couldn’t -- he didn’t really want to compare his list of sins with Adrian’s, but Kane suspected his burden was heavier. “I know what you mean by the glass wall though. I get that too. ... What kind of music do you listen to, driving around?”
It was a little surreal to be talking music with Kane and Adrian suspected their music taste clashed in about a million different ways. "Hip hop mostly, but I'm all over the map. Been listening to Danger Mouse and Run the Jewels again. What about you? Do you even listen to music?" he teased and it was quiet in Kane's apartment now that they weren't making noise but he could imagine him listening to something heavy, something angry, the kind of music Adrian might put on if he had to psych himself up for something hard. "It's your turn to tell me something about yourself, as a person." He hoped Kane would tell him, it'd be interesting to see him in a new light, find out something about him beyond what little Adrian already knew.
Maybe it was weird to chat about mundane things with the man he’d murdered and who had almost killed him back, but Kane wanted to know him. Things felt stripped down between them at the moment, all the posturing and wariness had faded, and they were just two people wanting to connect. It felt right to take advantage of the afterglow while it lasted. “Hip hop, huh?” Kane asked first with a little grin. He hadn’t expected that, but he found it weirdly cute. “Look at you, such a gangster. I don’t listen to it a lot, but I have heard Run the Jewels and liked ‘em. My taste is more like, rock and metal, I guess. Stoner rock, those seventeen minute jam songs, you know? I listen a lot in the car, yeah. Here too, I got a good speaker around here somewhere.” Kane didn’t bother to look for it. He smirked a little. “Kinda got a guilty pleasure for hot rap queens though ... like Nicki Minaj or Cardi B.”
Adrian wasn't sure why that made him laugh, but it did. "No such thing as guilty pleasure when it comes to music, you like what you like," he said, eyes half closed as he grinned through the words. "You just like to watch those girls bounce," he added, raising his hands to lazily indicate the bounce and that wouldn't really surprise him at all, Kane thirsting for thick bottoms and heaving breasts. He could see the appeal of those girls, they looked fine as hell, but to him it was more aesthetically pleasing than hot. "Missy's the real queen though," he added and god this conversation felt too surreal at the moment. "Why are you the only person I can really talk to?" he said quietly. Maybe it was because Kane had so much baggage that Adrian didn't feel bad about adding to it, he felt guilty enough to listen to it all too without judgment.
Making Adrian laugh gave Kane a bittersweet pang in the chest, though it felt like an accomplishment. His teeth were a little crooked, Kane loved that, it made him want to lick them all over again. He gave an appreciative hum and smiled a bit at Missy’s name. He did like the music too, but Adrian wasn’t too far off base about Kane enjoying watching those queens’ bodies move. Someday he wanted a thick black woman to just completely rock his world in bed ... was that racist? Probably on some level. But it would still be hot. Adrian’s question derailed that train of thought though, and Kane’s smile faded a touch as he gazed at him. “I dunno ... I don’t need you to be okay?” he suggested in a murmur. “You don’t gotta pretend anything. You already know I’m a fucked up mess, so I’m not gonna judge you, or fret and wring my hands and pray for you, you know? That’s your mom’s job. ... no god listens to me anyway.”
Adrian wanted to tell him that he didn't really know that but it felt hypocritical when he was so at odds with religion. Everything else rang true, they were both so messed up and yet he didn't feel like he had to protect Kane from the darkness. Mila was fucked up too, but Adrian always felt like he had to shelter her, keep all bad things from her. She'd been through enough. Kane however, he could take more and he would of his own free will. Adrian pushed himself down to lie down, shifting around until he was comfortable on his stomach and could rest his head on his arms. He peered at Kane with one eye open, letting his thoughts come and go like waves. He didn't want to talk about his family, none of which knew just how much of a sinner he was, his poor mother with her two wayward children, praying as hard as she could for their souls. "You're like Jekyll and Hyde, you know that?" he said quietly. "Like me."
Kane watched him change positions, appreciating seeing the muscle work under his skin. Adrian looked comfortable and relaxed as he settled, and it made Kane feel good in a weird way. None of this between them should make any sense, Bailey was right that it was crazy, but it felt so right at the same time. More evidence of how broken they were, maybe. Any port in a storm and all that. Kane pulled his pillow under his head and settled into it, gazing right back at Adrian. “I know,” he answered just as softly. Kane rested his forearm against Adrian’s back and started to draw slow little patterns with his fingers on his spine. He just couldn’t seem to stop touching him, now that he could. “I’m ... complicated. Said with no ego.” He quirked a faint smile that didn’t last long. His brand of complicated was nothing to be proud of. “I don’t try to be, I try to have a code, do the dirty work so other people don’t have to ... I just fuck it up sometimes. Big time.”
Adrian kind of wished he could fall asleep like this sometime, relaxed with someone touching him like this. With Kane touching him like this, his brain corrected him, because he couldn't really imagine anyone else getting this close. Fucking things up was an understatement, he'd be dead now if not for his curse, Kane had killed him without knowing he'd come back. It was one of those bad things that was getting too easy to ignore, it didn't even feel like this was the same man. Adrian wanted to tell him about the ritual, about the bad feeling he had about it, the way he'd forgotten just how violent it had been. Then again he didn't need Kane to go all Mr. Hyde on him and kill the only witch who'd managed to get the monster inside of him under control. For all he knew, Caius had made him forget because he didn't need more trauma in his life, but that just made him wonder what else he wasn't remembering. There were so many things he wanted to tell him and the men in the tunnel came to mind again, but that meant he really was a monster and Kane had been right to kill him. He closed his eyes, enjoyed the gentle stroking along his back, starved for that touch and intimacy. "Tell me something else about you," he mumbled, willing his noisy thoughts away. "As a person."
Adrian wasn’t the only one thinking about the magnitude of Kane’s fuck up. Staring at Adrian’s face, feeling that soft warm skin under his fingers and the gentle thud of a heartbeat against his arm ... a steady stream of what if he’d stayed dead? thoughts made their way through his head. The town had been fucking with him that night, he knew that, but would he have regretted it much if Adrian hadn’t come back? Kane had thought he was a monster back then, a real one. Nothing like the beautiful, abused man currently lounging in bed with him. It kind of made Kane want to weep and apologize until he lost his voice, but he knew that would never be enough, and he didn’t want to wreck this moment. He had to hold onto it carefully, it was fragile. Kane swallowed and tried to think of something about him that wasn’t sad -- my father hated me, my mother is dying, I only ever felt at home as a soldier, the only man I ever loved died and I didn’t get to say goodbye, I see death all the time, I rarely feel human -- none of that was good pillow talk, and gods knew he didn’t want Adrian to pity him. He did enough of that himself. “I like to read,” he murmured. “Like, books. Mostly about history and philosophy. Morality, if you can believe that. I don’t get all of it, but I still like to read it. I’ve got a pretty good singing voice ... I played football in high school. I was a running back and I was fast as hell.” He paused and licked his lips, then whispered, “It’s hard to think of anything that doesn’t hurt, you know?”
The book part was surprising and maybe that spoke to some dumb bias in Adrian's mind. He cocked a brow at it and wondered how long it had been since he'd picked up a good book. Maybe it was time to do that again, lose himself for an evening in some other world. Nothing to do with morals or real life though, he got enough of that just being awake. What Kane said next resonated with him and he nodded a little in understanding, like Kane was just echoing his own thoughts. "Then tell me something that hurts," he said cautiously and there was a part of him that wanted to know everything, wanted to tell everything, just so he wouldn't be the only one who knew.
He looked a little surprised that Kane could read, which wasn’t too offensive really. If Kane didn’t know himself, he would’ve been surprised too. The invitation to share something deeper than random facts felt good and bad at the same time. He didn’t want to come off like he was whining about his stupid life, but Adrian had asked, so ... Kane had plenty to choose from. “My mother’s dying,” he murmured slowly. “That’s why I came back to town in the first place. It’s ... taking a long time. But I want to be the one who reaps her, to see her off ... and it’s more likely to be me if I’m close by.” For a second he worried that Adrian might think he meant he planned to kill his mother himself, but Kane remembered telling Adrian what he was cursed with back in the cabin. He just hoped Adrian remembered that part too.
Adrian remembered, even if it was one of those things he didn't want to remember. In his memory, Kane looked different or maybe he really had looked different because he'd been nothing like the man lying next to him now. And of course he had a mother, Adrian knew about his sister so why was it so odd to him to hear about more of his family? "Are you close?" he asked even if he knew that didn't matter. It was his mom, it was going to hurt either way. Adrian sometimes guiltily felt like things would be easier when his mom passed away, like he was waiting to live his life until then. If things progressed naturally he'd be well into his sixties by then and it was pretty fucking depressing and he also didn't want her to die. It just hit different than the idea of telling her who and what he really was.
Were they close? Kane didn’t even know how to answer that. His mother barely knew who he was anymore, but who really did? She hadn’t been nearly as abusive as Kane’s father, but she’d never stopped it either. He knew he still had anger toward her for that. She’d deferred to her husband when it came to discipline, though he could remember her yelling and swatting him sometimes when he was young. At the same time, she was the only one he could recall cuddling him as a child, being soft with him. He’d left home as soon as possible and had barely looked back, though he would call to check up on her every month or so. “Not as close as I wish we were,” he answered finally. “I kept a lot from her. And now she barely recognizes anyone at all.” Kane gave a sad little smile. “Your turn.”
That kind of illness was one of the worst to tackle, just waiting for a person to pass because it'd be a relief at that point was hard enough, but being unable to communicate with them made it all the more awful. Adrian had seen it plenty of times and he knew nothing he would say could make Kane feel any better about it. "I'm not close to my mom, but she wants me to be," he replied since it was supposed to be his turn to speak. "It's hard to be close to someone when you're keeping secrets from them." He didn't really know what else to say, there were so many things that hurt, things he could tell Kane, but what he really wanted was to know more about Kane. "When you take a soul... Can you talk to them?" he asked. "Do you think she'll recognize you then?" He still had no idea how all of this worked and when Kane had first told him what he did, he'd thought he might just be crazy. He very well might be, but it was a lot easier to believe in these things after everything Adrian had witnessed.
Kane wished he had good answers to those questions. His power, if one could call it that, had always been confusing and distressing, and he’d never found another reaper to compare notes with. He definitely hadn’t been taught anything about it, he just ran on instinct when it happened ... unless he was taking a soul on purpose, of course. That was different. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly, shaking his head a tiny bit. “If my body’s not there, I can talk to them, but most of them are so confused or preoccupied, they don’t say much back. I’m just there to point the way. I’ve never reaped anybody I love before, so I don’t know if she’ll know me.” He realized that might not make much sense, so he clarified, “It’s like astral projection, when it happens. I kinda pass out physically wherever I am and get pulled out of my body to go to them when I get called. If I’m hunting, it’s different, the souls are just ... lights. But those are monsters, not people, maybe that’s the only spark they have. There’s a lot I don’t know about it, even after three decades of this shit.”
"I don't even know if I have a soul," Adrian said quietly and what Kane had said about him possibly not staying dead for long enough crossed his mind. It wasn't a pleasant memory so he pushed it away. "I hate that there's proof souls even exist. I just want to leave all this catholic bullshit behind and stop being terrified of hell." Because that was where he was going when he finally did croak - if he ever did. He sometimes wondered what it would take before he became just like the monster that attacked him, nothing but skin and bones, mindlessly wandering the woods in search of people to eat. "So you could... just pass out right now and go reaping?" he asked, not wanting to linger on that subject. "Or can you resist?"
In spite of the shit Kane had talked to him at the cabin, he was pretty damn sure Adrian had a soul. If the kind of monsters he’d put down in the past had some divine spark or cosmic piece or whatever the fuck a soul even was, then Adrian definitely did. Kane just wished he knew more about what happened to them after he saw them, so he could actually be reassuring. He focused on the question instead. “I feel it coming on for a couple minutes beforehand, which has saved my ass driving many times,” he explained. “But I can’t stop it. I just try to get somewhere safe or alone and let it happen. The time it takes ... it’s weird, it never seems long in the physical world, even if it does when I’m there. And if it makes you feel any better, I’ve never seen any sign of hell,” he added. “I dunno where they go, but it always seems like the same place. And I’ve reaped so many suicides ... a couple murder-suicides too.”
"And you go hunting alone," Adrian said with a tone of accusation. "Sounds like you have a death wish." It bothered him more than it should and the idea that he should try to get better control over his affliction and actually go hunting with Kane surfaced again, alluring in its strangeness. "I'm not judging but you're a fucking idiot," he added with some affection to take the edge off the statement, shifting to his side so he could touch Kane back. He rested his hand on his hip for now, moving in a little closer to him. "Do you? Have a death wish, I mean. Or did you just never grow out of feeling invincible?"
Kane’s lips twitched at the insult, it sounded so much like Bailey. He couldn’t even argue that they were wrong, he did a lot of fucking idiotic things. Kane’s heart gave an eager little squeeze when Adrian moved closer, and he let his own hand settle on the other man’s side. Kane liked feeling him breathe. He took a moment to answer, turning the words ‘death wish’ over and over in his mind, like they were beach pebbles. “What’s the world really gonna lose if I die, man?” Kane asked softly, studying Adrian’s eyes. “One less fucking idiot.” Bailey would be upset, but she would get over it. She was strong, and he knew she would make it. Kane wasn’t actively trying to die, or he would’ve eaten a bullet in his car long ago, but if he got called to reap while facing down some dangerous monster and that was the end of him, it wouldn’t be the greatest tragedy in the world, would it?
Adrian couldn't speak for anyone else and he didn't really know anything about Kane except for what Kane himself had told him so he was in no position to argue and he didn't feel like making some shit up about how life was worth living and things would get better. Maybe it was and there'd be no great loss if Kane died, better men than him died all the time. So why did it make Adrian's chest ache to think about it? It didn't feel right to quip about nobody else fucking him like Kane had and he wasn't quite ready to say he'd miss him so he was quiet for a moment as he studied Kane's face. "Who else is gonna listen to me whine about my problems," he finally muttered. "You're not allowed to cop out of doing me that favor. You know that, right?"
Kane could see Adrian’s gears turning, and he vaguely wished he could listen in on his thoughts ... but at the same time that was probably a terrible idea. He was relieved that Adrian didn’t try to feed him any bullshit about the beauty of just being alive or something. They both knew how bad it could really get. Kane had been through times in his life when death seemed like a sweet merciful release, and he was sure Adrian had too. Maybe he was in another one of those now, he didn’t know. “Don’t worry, I’ll pay up,” he murmured. “I’ve made it this far, life ain’t done with me yet.” Plus he’d promised Bailey he would try not to get himself killed. Kane hadn’t even been hunting much lately, especially not with a fucked up back. Since Adrian was close enough now, Kane leaned in to brush their lips together. “This isn’t the favor though,” he mumbled against Adrian’s mouth.
"You know it," Adrian replied and wasn't that his line? He didn't even know what the favor would be, just that it would be important when the time came. This wasn't the favor and Kane wasn't just appeasing him with sex. There was something between them and he thought of how some cultures believed that if you saved a man's life you were responsible for him. What did it mean then to kill someone? He'd never liked that line of thinking, being a nurse. He'd probably saved more lives than he realized in a thousand little ways. He had no interest in being responsible for them all. He kissed Kane again, running his hand up his arm as he let their lips linger together. He'd thought he'd never get to feel this again but it wasn't just desperation and loneliness that kept driving him back to Kane, he was drawn in by something more and maybe it was Kane himself, or maybe there was something binding them together now. Life was weird and he'd been working on accepting that he didn't know shit about shit. "There's stuff I wanna tell you," he mumbled. "I don't know why, maybe to let you know you weren't wrong about me being a monster. Maybe... I don't know."
Kissing him now, with this intimate sharing vibe they had going, hit different for Kane, in a way that felt really good. Too good, really. How was he going to not want this every fucking day? Adrian had obviously felt the pull strong enough to only last a couple of days, would it be even stronger now? They were probably signing themselves up for some tumultuous times ahead, if they kept this up, but Kane already knew he couldn’t stop it. Not when Adrian’s mouth made him feel like it did. He slid his hand down Adrian’s side and hip, just to touch more of him, his eyes cracking open at those soft words. “Tell me,” he breathed. Nothing was going to convince Kane that Adrian needed to die again, he knew that already, so he was safe. His own past haunted him enough that he didn’t feel capable of any personal judgment either. He couldn’t imagine anything loosening the hold Adrian had on him. “Get it off your chest.”
Adrian hesitated, eyes closed as he savored the feel of Kane's lips and breath against his own. None of it felt right to say now, it was all too gruesome and awful and he felt too damn good to ruin that. "I will," he whispered. "Just not now. Just so you- I only feel like I deserve to be alive because it makes my sister happy. She'd be- I saved her life when I came back. Or her soul. I don't fucking know. I sold my soul for hers. I can't leave her now, not yet. But you weren't wrong about me. I've done some really, really fucked up shit and-" he pressed his forehead against Kane's, fighting the urge to dig his fingers into his back to pull him in closer, too aware of the wounds there he didn't want to disturb again. "I keep waiting for it to catch up with me."
Kane didn’t need to be pulled, he moved in closer on his own, pressing in against Adrian and slipping his arm around him. Considering the nature of the beast living inside of Adrian, he could easily imagine what that really fucked up shit had been. He’d convinced himself that was enough to make the wendigo an irredeemable monster, but now Kane knew better. Nuzzling their temples together, Kane hugged him tight and closed his eyes. He very much understood living for one other person’s sake, and the fact that both of theirs were their sisters made all this feel even more fated. He wanted to know more about Adrian saving Mila, and from what, but he sensed now wasn’t the time for those details. “You didn’t deserve it,” he murmured, turning his head to slowly kiss at Adrian’s neck and jaw. “You didn’t deserve any of this. I don’t care what you’ve had to do.”
He should probably go to confession and get it all off his chest, but Adrian feared he'd give the priest a heart attack if he did - or something even worse might happen. A lot of the horrible things he'd done he'd done when he was hungry but he wasn't sure rescuing Mila was one of them. He hadn't been fully in control of himself at all back then but he hadn't been starving, just desperate in different ways. "You don't even know what I did," he whispered and Kane was hardly in any position to give Adrian an absolution and yet it felt good to hear him say those words. He slipped his arm around Kane's waist, careful to keep his arm as low as he could to avoid his injury, but wanting to cling and hold on as Kane held him. "I think it's worse than killing someone," he whispered and he knew he was about to tell Kane, the words were right there, pushing to get out, a confession he'd sat on for so long that it felt like it was eating him up from the inside. "I- I gave someone to the tunnel. To set her free. Two guys who didn't deserve it. I just... I brought them there and now they're gone."
The tunnel. It took Kane a couple of seconds to make the connection to all of the weird things he’d ever heard about Cooperdale Tunnel growing up. He’d never had any direct experience with it, but Kane knew enough about the world to know that all kinds of things were possible. He cupped the back of Adrian’s neck with his hand, his thumb rubbing against the muscle there, slow and firm. That was bad, a terrible thing -- two terrible things -- but Kane couldn’t say it made him a monster. He didn’t know what the tunnel did with people, but still. “You did it for Mila,” Kane murmured. He knew his own moral compass was askew, but Kane would’ve made the same sacrifices to save Bailey. He wasn’t trying to absolve Adrian completely, he would likely carry this guilt for the rest of his life no matter what Kane said, but he wanted to express that he did understand it. “How’d you know that would work?”
"Someone told me," Adrian replied after a moment of silence where he processed that Kane hadn't pushed him away or condemned him for what he'd said. He might still, later, when it really sank in, but he wasn't right now and Adrian clung to that harder than he thought he would. "Or something. Now I owe him a favor." And that, he knew for certain, was going to be bad. He didn't know what Westin was, but he had told whatever was in that tunnel that Westin sent him and that had worked so he knew Westin was something powerful, something not human. He'd also known where Adrian was when he was locked up in the middle of the woods. What else did he know? "I'd do it again," he admitted in a barely audible whisper. "If I had to get Mila out, I'd bring... just about anyone."
Well that was ominous as fuck, wasn’t it? Owing a favor to something that had that type of knowledge. Worry crept into Kane’s stomach. He was quiet for a moment of his own while he digested that and tried to set it aside. It wasn’t like he could do anything about it personally, but he really didn’t like it. “A monster would feed people to that tunnel just for shits and giggles,” Kane murmured softly, close to Adrian’s ear. “What you did wasn’t good, I’m not saying it was, but ... it was human. Very human. And I get the feeling you wouldn’t have done the same to save yourself, or almost anybody else. You even got into a scary-ass debt as a personal sacrifice too ... you’re not a monster, Adrian.” He didn’t know if Adrian would believe him, or completely discount his opinion because he himself was pretty monstrous, but Kane felt compelled to say it anyway.
Adrian felt like he'd tanked the mood, but at the same time he felt better. He hadn't really expected Kane to pull back and try to kill him again now that he knew the truth, but maybe he had on some level. Hearing the reassurance was strange and he felt like arguing against it but at the same time he just wanted to take it and internalize it. Kane wasn't wrong. He wouldn't have tried to save himself by sacrificing someone else, not like this. He'd fought against the urge to kill innocent people when he was starving and this thing had been for Mila, his little sister, who was now having a baby. It felt... worth it. Those guys barely even seemed to have been missed. "You've done something like that?" he asked anyway because if he wasn't a monster - even with what he'd done - then Kane couldn't really call himself one either, and yet he did, all the time. "Something worse than that?"
Of course he would ask. Kane couldn’t even point to one huge Bad thing he’d done, it all sort of blurred together into a lifelong tapestry of shittiness. There were so many things he wanted Adrian to know without having to actually do the telling, he kind of wished he could just transfer it all in one go. Kane sighed softly. “I sell souls,” he said quietly. “I don’t even know if they can still suffer, but I know they’re in high demand from people who do awful shit. I enable that, profit off it. I’ve ... made a few mistakes, in my hunting. I have three innocent lives on my hands. I was part of a war that killed civilians. I was signed up to join the Marines by seventeen years old, and I left Bailey behind with our abusive father ... I prob’ly regret that one the most,” Kane muttered. “Should I go on? Or is that enough?”
These were all bad things, the souls especially, but Adrian was finding it hard to judge. Perhaps he just felt relieved that he wasn't the worst person in the room, most of all he just didn't believe in the black and white thinking he'd grown up with. "Not human souls," he said quietly. "You told me that, never human souls." If those creatures he killed were really evil, did it matter what happened to their souls? Maybe they weren't even really souls at all, maybe they were just a flash of energy, the remains of a life force and nothing with a consciousness. Kane had said it himself, they were just lights. "All the other things... They just sound very human." Was this what they were doing now? Reassuring each other? Maybe they could take solace in the fact that they had both done horrible things and could actually speak of them with each other without eliciting pity or fear. They'd already seen some of each others' darkness and with Adrian's confession on the table, it felt like they were on a more equal footing in that regard.
There was something soothing about it, confessing some of the things he hated about himself or felt guilty for to someone who wouldn’t judge him for it. At least not from some morally superior height. “Never human souls,” Kane confirmed in a murmur. There were shades of gray to everything though, and maybe some of the monsters he killed weren’t as bad as others. Kane had never even wanted to know if he was selling them into an eternity of suffering or to be completely unmade or if they were aware of anything at all. He knew that ignorance wasn’t moral, but he wanted to keep it. “Guess we’re just two fucked up humans then ... I don’t feel so fucked up right now though, do you?” he asked softly, before pressing his lips to Adrian’s jaw again.
"No," Adrian replied quietly and if he had to examine it closer, he'd have to admit he felt good. He knew that outside of this room he wouldn't be able to tell anyone what he'd done and feel anything but evil, but he was in good company here and however temporary it might be, it was a relief not to feel judged. He nuzzled Kane's beard and carressed the small of his back, content to just lie here and breathe him in for a little bit. It was still early and he was grateful he didn't have to leave - that Kane didn't want him to leave - that he could just stay here for at least another couple of hours if he wanted. "You know I'm coming back here, right?" he murmured because he knew he wouldn't be able to stay away for long, this bare apartment was starting to feel like a sanctuary and the hands that had once killed him were now bringing him the pleasure and warmth he so desperately craved.
That one small word sent a surprising amount of warmth through Kane. He was good at sex, but so were a lot of other dudes out there, but could any of them make Adrian feel less fucked up? Maybe some, but Kane still felt accomplished that he could. That he was. If there was some final divine judgment in their future, it was inevitable, so why did they have to constantly punish themselves before it even came? Like Kane had said, they had to put the burden down sometimes. He hoped he was helping Adrian do that, if only for a few hours. He just held onto him through the quiet, occasionally pressing his lips against Adrian’s neck or shoulder and breathing in the scent of his skin. He smiled faintly at the question and gave a little grunt. “Who says you’re invited?” he rumbled, then nipped at his ear a little.
Adrian tittered and started jokingly untangling himself and pushing himself away from Kane, stretching out with a groan. "Aight, I know when I'm not wanted," he drawled with a grin, pressing his hand against Kane's chest to put some distance between them. "I'll stay away." He stopped then, watching him with a lazy grin. It wasn't normal, this warmth he felt for the guy. He'd never felt this kind of thing with a guy before. His only other relationship - if he could even call it that - had been convenient and playful, but this was something else. He was spilling his darkest secrets and Kane was too. He wanted to curl up against him and breathe him in, even when he smelled of booze and sweat. He couldn't stop thinking about him, even when he wasn't horny.
Kane laughed at the pushing, and let Adrian get a bit of distance, then happily pulled him in close again once he stopped resisting. He butted their foreheads and noses together again, still half-grinning as he slung one leg over Adrian’s to keep him weighed down even more. God, he didn’t know how he was going to let him go at all when the time came. “You’d better come back,” Kane murmured with more sincerity. “Or I’ll ... I’ll blow your phone up with dick pics until you can’t resist anymore.” It was a silly, lame threat -- though Kane couldn’t help but wonder if Adrian was opposed to dick pics or not, it gave him a little thrill to think about sending him some thirst traps like he did with Red.
"Fuck, you have my number," Adrian groaned. "I'm gonna have to start keeping that safe." He could just imagine some filthy message popping up while Mila was sitting right next to him. "Or just not stay away to keep you from doing that." He both hated and loved the thought of getting messages like that from Kane even if he couldn't imagine sending any back. He was far too anxious about being found out, too aware of how many people in his life might accidentally find out. He relaxed back into being held then reached up to rub at Kane's beard. "You keeping that?" he asked as he gave it a little tug. "Or are you gonna clean up real nice before I come back?"