Who: Adrian & Kane Where: Castle View When: Tuesday evening, 6/26 Warning: Yup. NSFW. Status Complete, part 1
Adrian was not doing a great job of not obsessing over Kane. It didn't seem to matter what the topic of conversation was or what he was up to, all paths seemed to somehow lead back to Kane, sometimes in convoluted and bizarre ways. He couldn't even have the decency to consistently feel the same way about it. At times he felt weirdly smug but also needy, wanting to go over there again, just waltz right in and take what he wanted. At those times he was convinced Kane wanted him pretty badly, that the way he looked at him was genuine and that the statement he'd made about wanting to do this for months was true. At other times he felt dumb and angry, certain that he'd been played, that he was just another conquest and Kane didn't do repeat fucks. There was no way Adrian was going to give him the pleasure of going back and asking for more if that was the case. He'd been using Kane too. He did not give a shit. Only he did. Obsessively so.
He kept trying to think of ways to call in the favor Kane owed him because that'd be the ideal way of contacting him. Not out of need, just to make sure Kane paid up on what he owed him. The problem was, the only favors he could think of was another mindblowing fuck or the super personal and way too involved favor of watching Adrian in case he lost time again. That might not even happen again and he couldn't really ask Kane to come sit outside his house every night for the unforeseeable future.
Either way, Adrian felt a little mental. He tried to find other ways to occupy his mind but he wasn't getting any shifts at the hospital and his paperwork was still not ready. That left movies, music, braindead tv and the carnival and for some reason all those things just reminded him of Kane. He was pretty sure at this point he could watch a friggin Disney movie and still somehow be reminded of Kane's rough hands on his body and those god damn gorgeous lips on his cock. Fuck.
If only the guy was just 'out of sight, out of mind'. If only Adrian could just run into him by accident. He was getting tempted to start stalking Kane back just so he could make that happen. It was only Tuesday and he'd been round and round in his head on this whole situation, trying to convince himself to just get the fuck over it but he felt like he was crawling out of his skin. Was this the payment for putting the monster inside of him to sleep? Obsessive compulsive behavior that had to manifest in sex? He started typing a few messages to Kane, trying for flippancy and trying to convince himself that he did not give a shit if he didn't get an answer but the amount of messages he wrote and erased told a different story. In the end he sent a short one and immediately regretted it while holding out hope that Kane would answer and hating himself for it.
Meet me outside your place in 20. This is not the favor.
Kane wasn’t feeling much better himself. After fleeing Red’s big house and her daughter’s accusing stare, he’d gone home and gotten drunk. It just seemed like the reasonable thing to do. He was feeling panicky -- not about being caught, but about being fully alone again. He’d pissed off his sister, Adrian was surely a lost cause and would never contact him again, and now he was sure his fling with Red was dead in the water. That left him no one. No one conscious, anyway, since his mother was still slowly dying. Late Monday night, in a drunk self-pitying stupor, he sent Bailey a rambling voice message about how sorry he was that he was a garbage brother and a worse human, how he hadn’t meant to dump all his baggage on her at once, he’d just felt like she should know and he wasn’t good at handling anything ever, so he hoped she forgave him. Then he’d mercifully passed out.
When Tuesday dawned, Kane had woken up to a reply from Bailey -- just okay. It stung badly, and he stared at the screen for a long time, as if he might miss the rest of her response, or the word itself might change. Neither of those things happened though, so Kane forced himself up to have a shower and some sort of day. He felt numb and listless through most of it, confined to the couch with some crap on TV that he wasn’t even following. He started drinking again around four in the afternoon.
Kane was picking at a cold slice of pizza, several drinks in, when his phone lit up and buzzed on the coffee table. He wiped his fingers on his cotton pants and picked it up to look. He hadn’t been expecting anything from anyone, but a text from Adrian least of all. Kane had to assume from the wording that it was Adrian, at least, and his heart did backflips in his chest. He immediately saved the number, then agonized for a few moments on how to answer. Kane was too fuzzy headed and sad to be clever. Maybe Adrian just wanted to come kick his ass, he shouldn’t get too excited. That didn’t stop his pulse from racing.
okay. I’ll be there. was what he ended up sending, which was much better than dozens of other replies that had raced through his head. His mental timer started, Kane got up and went to change and freshen up a bit, just in case.
The absolutely fun thing about this was that Adrian had no idea why he was going there. Well, he knew, but he had no idea what excuse he could use. He just hadn't thought that far and he was beating himself up about it the whole way to Castle View. The only thing he could think of, besides all too personal favors, was the monster he'd seen at the facility and how it was probably roaming out there in the woods somewhere. Kane was a hunter, it made sense to come to him about it. Only it had been months and why would he need to come all this way just to talk to him about hunting? Fucking idiot. All he could think to do was wing it once he was there, maybe play it coy, change his mind about whatever it was he was going to ask Kane in pretend. At the same time he felt like he was being way too antsy about this. There was nothing wrong with a booty call, unless he got rejected and that was the thing he was most terrified of. Given their history, that was laughable, really.
He got there before Kane did, so he got out of the car and leaned against it, wishing he had a cigarette to casually smoke and look cool doing it. He had to wonder yet again why this man reduced him to feeling like a dumb teenager but awareness of the fact didn't make it go away. Something tightened inside his chest when the door to Kane's place opened up and he stepped outside, making Adrian all but forget the apprehension he'd had about coming. He stayed put, let Kane close most of the distance between them before he straightened up and slipped his hands in his pockets. God, he looked good enough to eat, tall and dark in the muted lights of the parking lot and Adrian openly looked him over, letting all those dumb feelings riot inside his body.
Kane didn’t want to wait outside for Adrian to show up like some lovesick moron -- this was his place, his territory. Nevermind that he hastily cleaned up the empty liquor bottles and the pizza box out of the shitty living room, used mouthwash and tamed the cowlicks in his hair and refreshed his deodorant. He changed out of his sweaty unwashed clothes and into a fresh pair of jogging pants and a black t-shirt. He could’ve fit a fast shower into twenty minutes, but somehow that felt like too much, like Adrian would smell fresh soap and laugh at him or something. If he wanted to meet outside, did that mean he wasn’t coming in? Would this be a Fuck Off Forever kind of conversation? Were they going to fight outside? Kane didn’t feel capable of guessing anything correctly at the moment. The dread and excited butterflies warring in his stomach covered all possibilities.
He waited with his eyes on the window facing the parking lot until he saw Adrian pull in and heard the car door shut. Kane had a cigarette tucked between his lips as he stepped outside and he lit it before he approached Adrian, the red cherry bobbing slowly in the shadows. He could practically feel Adrian’s eyes on him, and it made him tingle all over. “You came back,” Kane said quietly. He tried to keep the words neutral, but couldn’t help some of the hopeful disbelief that crept into them. It had not been a day where he expected anyone to come back.
"Well, you threatened to move," Adrian replied and he was amazed at how calm he sounded, like maybe he was learning something from the wendigo. "I figured I should keep an eye on you. How's your back?" He still had no idea what to say if Kane asked him what he was really doing there and he hoped he wouldn't have to come up with anything. It still felt like there were sparks flying between them just standing there and he hoped it wasn't his imagination or that the fireworks were one-sided. Kane looked a little rough, but he always did, he was just scruffier than last time Adrian saw him and this time he was obviously the one who'd been drinking. It made Adrian curious about him and what was going on with him, but he wouldn't have known how to ask even if he wanted to and there was a big difference in wanting to know and wanting to ask. Some part of him wanted this rough look to be because of him, like Kane was just pining for him and not living a whole full life Adrian knew nothing about. It was childish and he knew it but Kane had a way of bringing that out in him apparently.
Adrian looked good, it was impossible not to notice. Kane swore he got a little more beautiful every time he saw him. He knew he probably looked like shit, unshaven, ramping up into a bender. At least he hadn’t started to smell bad yet, Adrian’s timing was pretty good. He was pining for a lot of things, and Adrian was high on the list. Was that just another symptom of Kane’s innate brokenness? Maybe. Was he fucking stupid and-or crazy, like Bailey thought? Likely. But goddamn it felt good to see Adrian standing there of his own free will. On purpose. Kane didn’t know what that purpose really was yet, but he was more than game to find out. As Kane took another drag from his smoke, his hands already itched to touch him. Reverently, forcefully, all of it -- he wanted to shove Adrian up against the car and gently stroke his face and be pushed to his knees to worship his cock all at once. “It itches a lot,” he answered with a single-shoulder shrug. “It’s bled a couple times, it’s a bitch to reach. That’s about it.” He paused and smirked a tiny bit. “I didn’t know nurses made housecalls.”
"Yeah well, shows how little you know," Adrian replied with a smirk. He'd almost told him that wasn't the reason he was there, but that meant he'd have to tell him the real reason why and he had no ready excuse available yet. There was no way he was telling him the truth, that he'd just wanted to see him again, that there was this stupid pull between them that made it hard to stay away. "It shouldn't be bleeding, are you being stupid about it?" he asked instead and at least he knew why it had bled on Saturday night when Adrian himself had been 'stupid' about it, cruel more like it and caught up in this twisted game he kept ending up playing with Kane. It had only been a couple of days since he told Toby he was going to stay away from Kane but here he was, swallowing down the request to come inside, his fingers itching to peel those clothes off Kane under the guise of checking his stitches.
Someone could probably fill a book with all the shit Kane didn’t know about nursing, but he was still pretty sure this visit wasn’t about his stitches. Adrian could’ve texted him these questions if he’d really been concerned. It felt presumptuous to think Adrian had wanted to see him again, but since they hadn’t erupted into violence yet ... what else could Kane conclude? He chuckled faintly at the question. “I’m stupid about everything, it’s one of my most charming traits,” Kane answered as he lifted his cigarette again for another pull. His back had bled because he’d practically begged Red to hurt him, and she’d done an excellent job at it. Thinking of her gave him the uncomfortable reminder that his back and chest were still striped with fading scratches. It had only been twenty four hours, and she’d dug in deep, so maybe Adrian’s timing wasn’t so great. Would he notice, if clothes did come off? Would he care? Would they even get that far? It wasn’t something Kane should be worrying about -- they weren’t dating, for fuck’s sake. He was free to fuck who he wanted, however he wanted. It was just scary to think that something might make Adrian leave and never come back again, especially after the day Kane had been having. “So are you gonna come in, or what?”
Adrian paused before answering, narrowing his eyes as if that wasn't why he was there, as if he hadn't been yearning for the invitation. "Sure," he muttered then as if he was doing Kane a favor. They could chat outside, the weather was nice and nobody was around. Going inside meant... something else. Or maybe he was the one being stupid right now. "I have some questions for you," he said as they started walking and maybe that was reason enough to be there; curiosity. Kane was the only hunter he knew, his questions didn't even have to be about a specific monster, Adrian didn't have to tell him why he was asking these questions, he could be dark and mysterious too, damn it. A piss poor excuse to be there was better than none at all. "Probably better to ask them where we can't be overheard."
Hanging out in the parking lot and talking felt too risky to Kane, like what if Bailey swung by? Not that she would now, probably not again, but ... still. If they were going to talk, Kane wanted to do it somewhere private. Plus he wanted another drink. So he led the way back to his door to let them in, flicking the finished cigarette away into the grass. “Oh yeah?” he asked mildly, not sure if he believed Adrian really had questions or not. He would find out, he supposed. Maybe they were questions like ‘why do you suck so bad?’ or ‘what the fuck is your problem?’ He seemed to have lots of answers to those today. Kane opened the door and walked in first, feeling a little twinge of regret that it smelled like stale booze and sadness in there, but it wasn’t like he could fix it now. “You want a beer?” he asked, glancing back on his way to the small kitchen.
"Yeah," Adrian said without thinking because a beer sounded amazing right then, but he almost immediately realized his error and corrected himself with a quick, "No. Fuck." It put a dent in his playing cool act, that was for sure and he internally cursed himself as he looked around Kane's apartment. It did smell like stale booze and sadness and if he had any sort of self preservation he wouldn't stay there for long. "I can't drink. You have anything else?" God that was annoying, he really wanted a beer even if accepting beverages from Kane was probably a bad idea. It felt like he had just told Kane a weakness of his and he really didn't need to be sharing more of those with the man so he thought that the less he said about why he couldn't drink, the better. "You've been on a bender," he said instead, judgment in his tone as he trailed over to sit on Kane's couch.
Kane had cleaned up most of the bottles, but he’d probably missed a few, and the place still didn’t look clean or like someone with their shit together lived there. It was embarrassing in a dull sort of way. “Uhhh ... I got water, some soda ... grape juice that I think is still good,” he named off as he leaned over to peer into the fridge. He assumed Adrian didn’t want to drink since he would be driving away soon, but it also reminded him of ferrying drunk Adrian home ... maybe he just didn’t want those inhibitions lowered again. In the meantime, Kane grabbed the latest bottle of bourbon he’d been working on and went about pouring himself another short glass full of the cold amber liquid. Kane didn’t give a fuck about inhibitions right then, even though he probably should. He didn’t reply to the bender comment -- no sense in denying it, but he didn’t want to talk about any of the Whys behind it either.
"Soda's good," Adrian said and reminded himself that if Kane wanted him dead - again - he'd be dead a few times over and the same went for Kane. Adrian could have easily killed him in that cabin and right now he missed that rush of power he'd felt that night when the tables turned. Which of course led him to think about straddling Kane's lap, those puppy eyes looking up at him in tired resignation. When Kane returned he noted that he was obviously still on a bender and a few years ago he wouldn't have stayed here, wouldn't have come here in the first place, wouldn't have kissed him at all. "Starting to see why you keep bleeding," he said as he accepted his drink, cocking a brow at Kane. "Not drinking while you heal isn't a terrible idea."
Kane grabbed a can of Coke and shuffled back into the living room to hand it off to Adrian. He didn’t join him on the futon to give him some space, instead going to perch on the weight bench that also occupied the living room. Maybe Bailey was right, he needed more furniture. Though why bother when visits like this were rare? Empty furniture would just remind him more of how alone he was. Eyes on Adrian, Kane took a sip of bourbon and licked his lips. “Not drinking today is an even worse idea,” he said mildly. Kane told himself that he didn’t care if Adrian judged him for it, and he almost believed it, but it still didn’t make him want to put his glass down. He eyed the other man for a beat, trying to ignore the mad desire to get closer, crowd him, taste him, get hands up under his clothes. Why was this asshole so damn magnetic? Fuck. “So what’re your questions? Or did you really just wanna come lecture me?” he asked, a ghost of a smirk on his face.
The disappointment Adrian felt when Kane kept his distance was like something thick and heavy in his chest and that was just another rude reminder of why he was really here. He didn't care about that monster at the facility right now, it was a lame excuse to be here but the fact Kane was so far away right now seemed to drive home that this had been a one off. He thought he could see some hint of longing in Kane's eyes but it could all be in his head or it could just be sadness about something. Adrian huffed softly and popped open his can, trying to quell that dumb feeling of rejection. "Have you ever come across a monster that just wouldn't go down? No matter what you did?" he asked while he really wanted to ask about Kane's scars, which one he'd given him, could he see it.
You mean like you? very nearly came out of Kane’s mouth, but he caught it in time. Maybe he really shouldn’t be drinking, because it made him say stupid shit, hadn’t he learned that lesson by now? He definitely didn’t need to remind Adrian of the fact he’d murdered him, that would probably really make him leave, and Kane didn’t want him to go anytime soon. Or maybe the whole night, but that was probably a pipe dream. He tried to think about the question, eyes narrowing a bit as he stared into the middle distance and nibbled idly on his bottom lip. “There’s been a few, yeah,” he said. “One pretty recent, around here, actually. It was fuckin’ huge, bullets didn’t do shit ... Just stay outta the woods, is my only advice.” Kane chuckled darkly and took another sip.
"Fuck," Adrian whispered and hoped it wasn't just luck keeping that thing away from town. If it was the same one as he'd seen, that meant it was out and while he couldn't exactly feel responsible for it, he still kind of did. Maybe he could have done something about it while he was all jacked up and starving. The mere thought of taking down a monster of that size was both terrifying and thrilling and he supposed that meant a part of him did enjoy the kill. No, he knew a part of him loved the kill, he just didn't want it to be humans when he was in his right mind. "Did it look... Kinda hard to comprehend?" he asked. "Like it didn't really make sense?" How the hell had Kane gotten away from that thing? He wanted to ask, wanted to know, if only to hear Kane keep talking.
Kane quirked an eyebrow and nodded slowly. “Yeah ... that’s a good way to put it. How’d you know? Friend of yours?” The words were flippant, but there was a note of concern in his tone suddenly. That big bastard had been no joke, and while he knew Adrian had a formidable monster inside of him, Kane still didn’t think he would be a match for it hand to hand. Or tentacle to knife, however it would go down, since Adrian wasn’t a fan of guns. He didn’t even like to consider it, in a way that felt strangely protective. It had been bad enough having Bailey there at the time, Kane didn’t want to think about that thing finding Adrian alone in Blackwater at night. He was intensely curious now how Adrian knew anything about it.
Adrian huffed with some amusement. That thing had been friendlier to him than Kane had been in their first run-ins, that was the irony of it, but he didn't know if it was because he'd been behind what was probably bullet proof glass or if it had something to do with what he was. The monsters in the fog had ignored him too and while it was definitely interesting, he would never dare to take it for granted. "Best of buddies," he muttered. "You know I keep strange company." God he had been terrified of that creature, not for himself but for Aaron and Mila who had been so heartbreakingly human and fragile while all too close to something so awful. "How'd you get away from it?" he asked even as he itched to get up and move over to the bench where Kane was sitting. Why were they talking? That wasn't why he was here. He had a feeling he might have to make the first move again, it had been a back and forth so far and in a sense it was his turn. Or maybe he should fuck off and let Kane heal. He just didn't want to.
Strange company, that was one way to put it, and Kane smirked faintly. It wasn’t a satisfying answer, though he supposed he hadn’t asked the real things he was wondering about. Kane twitched one shoulder in a shrug. “I laid down suppressive fire to try and keep it back, and I ran like hell,” he answered. “Got really lucky, I guess.” Or his tattoos had done their job. It had been even more lucky that Bailey hadn’t gotten hurt, but Kane didn’t want to invite a lecture about how stupid it had been to be out there with her, so he didn’t mention that part. “How’d you get away from it? Where’d you see it? It’s stayed outta town as far as I can tell.” Kane didn’t like the idea of Adrian wandering around in the woods alone, but maybe he’d been living really rough before he moved in with his sister. People didn’t usually do that unless they were really hard up for a place to stay.
It wasn't the first time Adrian found himself wondering why he wanted to spill his guts to Kane and so far the only explanation he had was that talking to anyone else about things made him feel guilty. They got worried, they couldn't really handle the truth of what was out there, they felt sorry for him. He took a sip of his coke but even the fuzz sparking on his tongue didn't snap him out of his stupor. He could tell Kane, maybe knowing would help him, who knew. "People like me, when someone's not trying to kill us, they're trying to figure out what makes us tick," he said casually, like he hadn't spent years on and off a prisoner more so than a patient inside that facility. Like they hadn't decided to starve him to study him better. "So I was in a cage and I guess that thing escaped from wherever they were keeping it. I heard a lot of gunfire but when I got out, everyone was dead and that thing wasn't. I don't think it was... mindless. It broke all the security cameras."
The word ‘cage’ sent a little chill down Kane’s spine. The information about the monster registered, but that wasn’t what grabbed hold of his brain. People trying to figure out what made Adrian tick, people who put him in a cage in the same location as a creature like that ... Kane’s gaze drifted to the coffee table and locked there as he processed all that. He’d heard of such places, facilities that ‘studied’ monsters, though he’d never heard anything good about them. They definitely weren’t fuzzy happy spa retreats ... and one of them had held Adrian. Kane didn’t know when or for how long, but knowing that made all his guts sink through the floor. Because then he’d come along and kidnapped Adrian again to hold him hostage and try to see what made him tick. With a soft huff, Kane leaned forward, elbows on his thighs, his drink held loosely between his knees, and started slowly running his free fingers through his short hair. He couldn’t look at Adrian. There was rage bubbling inside of him too now, a red desire to go re-kill every motherfucker in that place, but Kane knew how useless and hypocritical that was. “When was this?” he asked, his voice quiet and raw. “When you got out.”
It was hard to read Kane's expression, it just darkened and Adrian didn't really know why. He liked to imagine it had something to do with his own plight, but it was far more likely that knowing where that thing had come from had triggered some knowledge of Kane's that was Not Good. "This time around? " he said as he thought about it. "April. So I guess that's a good thing, two months and there haven't been more deaths than usual in the woods around here." He paused, wished he had some of Toby's insight so he could read Kane's mind in that moment, some petty need to punish him bubbling up inside of him again. "You didn't think I stayed away from my family for five years just for the fuck of it, did you?"
April. Kane had killed Adrian in January ... then there had been several months where they hadn’t crossed paths again, and then there was the night at the hunting cabin. Kane kept rubbing at his hair as he let all of that sink in. At some point after dying and being resurrected, someone else had nabbed Adrian and held him captive, and now it made Kane sick to think about, but he had to face it. How much had he compounded the trauma in Adrian’s life? The words ‘this time around’ were haunting as fuck. He knew he shouldn’t want to be anything but a bad memory to this man, but Kane did, goddamn it, he did. He passed his hand over his face as he finally looked up again. “Why’d you come back here, Adrian?” Kane asked him, still quiet and low, though his heart had started beating harder. “I don’t ... there’s nothing I can say or do that can possibly atone for what I’ve done to you. That favor -- and I’ll do it, I’ll do anything you ask -- but it’ll never be enough.” He felt guilty and helpless and vulnerable but still so sharply yearning, and none of it was comfortable. Kane took another swallow of bourbon.
Kane looked wracked with guilt and it pleased Adrian in ways he couldn't fully understand. Sure, he had some empathy for him, but mostly he just felt vindicated and strangely aroused by it. Guilt looked good on Kane, he was one of those people who just looked hotter when he was down and those shivering feelings it invoked in Adrian weren't just cruelty or spite. "Maybe not, but you can fucking try. " He knew Kane was right; there was no righting this wrong and he sure as hell couldn't take it all back. Whatever was going on between them was far more complicated than that and the reasons Adrian was back there were numerous and all equally hard to admit to. "I almost got you back anyway..." He licked his lips, looked Kane over and reveled in that sad puppy look on his face. "I never got to see that scar," he added. "The one I gave you." His stomach churned as he spoke, a heady mix of anxiety and arousal spiking through him. He wanted Kane to come over to him, pull his shirt up or his pants down or whatever he needed to do to show Adrian where he'd stabbed him.
Even half drunk and wallowing in his own stew of guilty misery, Kane could feel the electricity between them. The way Adrian’s eyes crawled over him made his stomach clench and flutter, and his cock stirred a little at that lip-lick. This crazy attraction just made everything so much more complicated, but he thought it answered the question of why Adrian had come back. Kane knew what he wanted without him having to ask. It was what he would’ve wanted, if he’d left a scar. He knocked back the rest of his drink as he stood up, swallowing with a low grunt before he leaned over to put the glass down. Kane hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his loose joggers and pushed them down. Left in his black boxer briefs, he stepped in closer and braced his foot against the couch cushion next to Adrian’s leg. It made his heart race to get that close to him, his groin already tingly. The scar was pretty obvious against the pale skin of Kane’s thigh, pink and still fresh, but he pointed at it anyway. “It’s this one,” he murmured.
Adrian's stomach did a familiar drop when Kane stood up as if Adrian had summoned him and he put down the can he was holding before Kane reached him. He wasn't sure why, but he'd somehow expected the scar to be bigger, it sure had taken up a lot more space in his mind, but then he had stabbed Kane, not slashed him, so it made sense that it wasn't running down the length of his thigh or anything. It took willpower to look at the scar alone and unsurprisingly it wasn't the only one there, but it was the latest among old ones and Adrian felt weirdly pleased seeing it. He almost held back on touching it but then wondered why the hell should he, so he reached up and traced it with the tip of his fingers. It was mostly an excuse to touch, but did he even need an excuse? They'd fucked just that weekend so why was he playing coy? He could smell Kane, he was so close, could see the bulge in his boxer briefs and that's where his fingers traveled next, slowly moving up to the soft fabric, feeling the heat radiating off him and the subtle reaction to the light touch.
It might not have been a large scar, but it was still a big one to Kane too. Adrian had nicked an artery with it, and Kane had come pretty close to dying. He’d also traumatized his sister with it all, as she’d so kindly reminded him. And now here he was, standing in front of the man who gave it to him, getting harder by the second from the light contact of Adrian’s fingers. It had only been days since they’d fucked, and he’d even fucked Red since then, so why did he feel so touch-starved? Hungry for something he couldn’t name? Moving a bit slowly, Kane reached back to grab the collar of his shirt and pull it off. He let it drop, then ghosted his own fingers over another, thinner scar on his side. “This one’s yours too.” Adrian had caught him twice with that blade, and if he wanted to see the permanent marks he’d left on Kane, he might as well see them all.
Adrian moved his hand up almost instinctively to touch the other scar, his fingers brushing against Kane's as he did so. He liked that one better, he thought. It looked more likely to fade with time but it also looked a little more like he'd pictured the one on Kane's thigh should have looked. "I don't remember that one," he said quietly and it was probably no wonder. He'd been half blind, violently pulled back from death and lashing out in hopes of getting away. The memory was traumatic, it had been the worst night of his life, at least since the wendigo, and yet thinking back on it right now didn't feel that bad. Violence just hit different with Kane, or maybe Adrian's mind was just completely gone now. It occurred to him that Kane hadn't left any scars on him - not visible ones at least - and it almost felt wrong. Adrian was tempted to ask him to give him one, something to remember him by, something he could touch in the dead of night and think of Kane. Not that he needed a reason to think of him, Kane occupied his thoughts far too much for comfort. Adrian didn't pull away after he explored that scar, he let his fingers trail down again, over Kane's hip as he looked him over with open desire.
He’d had Adrian’s hands on him very recently, but there was something about letting him touch his scars that made him feel like it was the first time. It made his insides feel all quivery and hot, and made him itch to get even closer. Moving slow enough that Adrian could easily stop him if he wanted to, Kane straddled Adrian’s lap and pressed in close, knees planted on either side of his hips. Being the only one so unclothed and taking up this position made the power balance feel out of his hands, but that felt right somehow, like how it should be. He couldn’t make up for all of it to Adrian, but he could fucking try, like he’d said, and the best way Kane knew to try was with his body. Kane curled his hands in the sides of Adrian’s shirt and leaned in closer, his eyes raking over Adrian’s beautiful face until their foreheads connected. “I can’t stop thinking about you,” he confessed in a rough whisper. It was probably so, so stupid to say things like that, but Kane couldn’t seem to help himself.
Adrian didn't dream of stopping him, his stomach rioting as he slid his hands along Kane's thighs once he was fully on his lap. "Good," he whispered back and once again he found himself torn between just giving into whatever this was or being mean. It didn't feel right to let Kane so close, he wanted to punish him and protect himself, but it was so fucking difficult when Kane constantly seemed to set his insides on fire. "You are so fucked up," he added in an even quieter whisper but by God, so was he. He'd been thinking about Kane almost non-stop, wanting to fuck him, hurt him, talk to him and kiss him. Sometimes it felt like all the trauma he'd endured had decided to repackage itself into this chaotic storm of longing and anger, and at least he was getting some release in this form. Maybe that was the point, he could act on this whereas everything else just brewed inside of him as he tried desperately not to spill it on the people he loved.
“Yeah,” Kane breathed, nudging his nose against Adrian’s. He was fucked up, in countless ways, but he knew he wasn’t the only fucked up one in the room. Maybe Kane’s damage was more his own fault, but Adrian obviously hadn’t gotten through all of his ordeals unscathed, otherwise he wouldn’t be under Kane at that moment. In a completely selfish way, Kane was glad for it, especially tonight when he’d been feeling so alone. He slid his palms up to Adrian’s chest, a thrill running through him as he felt how hard his heart was beating. Kane pushed their skulls together a bit harder, hot desire warring with the guilt inside of him that said he shouldn’t be doing this, but desire always seemed to win out in the end. He changed angles a bit abruptly to crash his mouth into Adrian’s, a low hum in the back of his throat. It gave him such crazily mixed feelings, getting the completely fucked up thing that he’d been dying to experience again.
Adrian's self preservation instincts with Kane seemed to only go so far as to protect his ego. He felt like he should be the one to reject Kane when the time came, not the other way around. Considering all the things that had happened between them it was a petty thing to worry about; rejection. All that uncertainty faded fast when Kane's mouth was on his and he kissed him back with fervor, gripping his hips tightly as if he could pull him in any closer to his body. He could taste the liquor on his tongue and knew that Kane might not be anywhere near sober enough for all of this but Adrian couldn't bring himself to care. He just wanted in the rawest way possible and he knew Kane wanted him back so he was happy to take what he could get.
There wasn’t anything in Kane’s life currently that felt as good as kissing Adrian, even with all of the emotional sharp edges that came along with it. Hell, maybe those edges even contributed to how good it felt, like Kane was turning into a masochist. He loved what he had going with Red, but it was a completely different vibe, there were no strings there, nothing complicated ... Adrian was nothing but complicated. Still, it felt so fucking good to feel those full lips against his again and taste the soda-sweetness in Adrian’s mouth and the heat underneath it. That heat seemed to rush down the front of his body and straight into his cock, which was starting to really strain against the fabric of his boxers. Kane couldn’t help but roll his hips a bit, his body hungry for friction and pressure. Kissing Adrian deeper, he slid his hands up to grip the back of his neck, then thought better of it and moved fingers up into his hair. He hadn’t been able to forget the way choking Red had set him off, and gods knew he didn’t need to go there again. Not with Adrian.
Adrian knew he couldn't keep coming back here for more, he'd thought that last time might have been the last time and the thought had been depressing as hell, but he really shouldn't keep coming back. He couldn't care less at the moment, everything was Kane right now, hot and problematic and oh so good. He didn't even mind that Kane was a little rough right now, he didn't smell bad - or maybe Adrian was just used to far worse by now, it didn't really matter. He just wanted to kiss him, get his cock out, slip those boxer briefs off Kane and do something -anything - whether it was fuck him or jerk him off or push him down to get his cock between those sinful lips again. Kane might have a long way to go to make up for everything but this was a good start, filling a hunger Adrian had been ignoring for far too long. He moved his hands to Kane's ass, ignoring the urge to reach up and touch the scar and instead slipping his hands underneath the fabric of his boxer briefs, clutching him firmly.
Kane desperately wanted everything at once too. He was dying to feel Adrian’s plush mouth wrap around his cock, to get inside of him again, make him moan and shiver like he had before ... at the same time he wanted Adrian to fuck him, hard and punishing, dig his fingers into the wound on his back, hurt him all over again. He deserved it, and it was starting to feel like he needed it, fucked up as that was. But Kane never claimed not to be fucked up, he’d known he was for his entire life. He broke the kiss and sat back enough to grab Adrian’s shirt and start to pull it up his torso, his whole body aching for some skin to skin contact. Once again, he had no idea where exactly they were going with any of this, he was just completely in the moment, acting on whatever impulse he had. Kane got the sense again that this might be his only chance, he had to make the most of it.
Adrian had no qualms about getting his shirt off even though maybe he should feel crappy about everything that was happening. He raised his arms to help, then brought his hands back to Kane's body, unable to stop touching him. He wondered if all those scars still hurt, if Kane's body felt as broken as it looked or if he, like Adrian, rarely even noticed them anymore. They would have freaked him out a little years ago, funny how much a guy could change. Now he just wanted to touch all of them, like he could read Kane's body with his fingertips, learn more about him and memorize his every angle. That stubborn urge to tell him this wasn't why he'd come over was fading fast, pushed aside by the need he felt for this and he grabbed the back of Kane's neck to pull him in close again, crushing their lips together. His jeans felt uncomfortably tight by now but while he was dying to drag Kane into his room where he knew he had lube, he also didn't want this to be over too soon.
He kept getting sucked into moments like this with Adrian, where he was almost afraid to move, like he might shatter the moment by accident and make Adrian leave. Maybe that was ridiculous to worry about when they were both kissing like their lives depended on it, but it was still a fear that lived in Kane’s brain. Everyone left him eventually, even when he wasn’t actively pushing them away. Adrian had no good reason to be there that Kane could see, so every second with him felt tenuous. With a soft grunt, he rocked over the bulge in Adrian’s jeans, hands in his hair again. Kane traced the line of the big scar on Adrian’s head with his thumb, consumed with a similar desire to read and know every inch of him. He kissed him deep, like they could share the same breath, relishing how Adrian’s hands felt on his bare skin. Kane irrationally wanted more than this with him, but if sex was what Adrian had come back for, then he couldn’t deny him. Maybe that was all he was good for, to anyone, and he should accept it.
That friction made Adrian's breath catch and he tightened his grip on Kane with a quiet grunt, a part of him wanting to just stay right there and come off friction alone because moving meant Kane had to get off his lap and he didn't want to break this contact just yet, even for a minute. He liked it when Kane touched his scar, it was becoming a thing. With anyone else it was about gentle acceptance but with Kane it was something far darker and more twisted and he didn't know how to reconcile any of these things in his mind. All he knew was that he'd become somewhat obsessed with scars lately and he knew exactly who to blame for that. He wondered again if Kane was one of those tops only guys, like his first and only fuck buddy or if he'd let Adrian fuck him. He also wondered if Kane didn't bottom for anyone but might do it for Adrian anyway out of guilt and whatever other fucked up things he was feeling. Adrian didn't even know if he liked the idea or not, on some level he did and he knew that thought should horrify him but it didn't. Rather than ask he broke the kiss and stuck a finger in his mouth, getting it nice and wet as he met Kane's eyes, a challenge in his gaze.
Though he didn’t want to stop kissing him, Kane’s cock gave a sweet throb at the sight of Adrian’s finger in his mouth. His eyes were intense and dark enough to look black in the low lighting, and the way he was staring at Kane made all of his insides squirm. Kane understood the meaning without words, and got another hot internal shiver of anticipation. He hadn’t bottomed in years, not able to trust any of his one-night hookups enough to be that vulnerable, and most of the steady fuckbuddies he ended up with were women, so it was moot with them. The last guy he could clearly remember wanting to fuck him had been AJ, and that called up all kinds of tangled feelings all of the sudden. Kane wanted Adrian that much though, wanted to feel completely full of him and watch those eyes get even blacker with pleasure, wanted to give himself over completely. He leaned in to kiss the corner of Adrian’s mouth and slip his tongue into the mix too, tasting the salt from Adrian’s finger as he licked to encourage him. At the same time Kane pushed his boxer briefs down further around his upper thighs to get them out of the way.
That was so much better than talking about it and the meaning was clear. When it came to pleasure, Adrian wouldn't really have minded only ever bottoming, but it wasn't all about pleasure and he could still feel that struggle inside of him to not let Kane have the upper hand. It probably spoke of archaic ideas about sex and sexuality but those internalized feelings were hard to shake. He pulled his finger away and kissed Kane more deeply as he reached around him, probably not wet enough for much but a tease or a promise of things to come but that was okay, he just wanted to touch and probe and get Kane moaning. He wished he could just fuck him like this, without having to relocate or strip down but the resistance he found when he nudged his finger inside told him they'd need lube and time before they got there. It was still impossibly hot to sit there and finger him, feel his weight on him, feel that heat radiating off of him as he kissed Adrian and squirmed on his lap.
Not only was Kane rusty at bottoming for other people, he rarely played with his own ass when he was alone, so his body felt extra sensitive when Adrian’s finger reached its mark. He moaned into the kiss as it pushed inside of him, a lightning bolt of pleasure shooting into his cock. Just one digit didn’t hurt, it was just tantalizing as fuck. He’d fantasized about Adrian fucking him a few times now, and just this already felt better than he’d imagined. Kane had to break the kiss to drag in some heavier, shaky breaths, butting his head against Adrian’s again. He already wanted more, but he knew just spit wouldn’t cut it for long, which meant they had to move, but the last thing Kane wanted to do was get up. He ran his hands restlessly over Adrian’s shoulders and arms and chest, pinching at his nipples as he kept rolling his hips to rub against that promising bulge in Adrian’s jeans. Kane wished he could suck him off while this was happening, hungry to taste that smooth hot skin. He let out a little whimper as Adrian’s finger pushed deeper, moving his head to kiss and bite at the side of Adrian’s neck.
There was something so primal and raw about this man and Adrian felt high on the way he reacted to him. Everything felt so urgent and heated and every touch seemed to take his breath away. He'd already made Adrian come once without touching his cock and right now it felt like he could do it again with just the way he moved against him, those pinches and bites sending jolts of pleasure straight to his cock. He wondered if he'd done this before - let someone fuck him - if he did it all the time. He didn't seem nervous but did he ever really? It still shattered yet another preconception Adrian had had of him. He clearly enjoyed this, was eager for it, not one of those dumbasses who 'weren't gay' because they 'weren't taking it up the ass'. And fuck he was hot like this, Adrian wanted to stay in this moment far longer than he knew was possible, just drinking in the way Kane moved against him and nibbled at his neck. "You gonna let me fuck you?" he whispered and he knew the answer was yes and that he didn't need to ask, but he wanted to hear Kane say it.
The velvety soft words sent a shiver down Kane’s back and he felt goosebumps rise on his skin. Even though he was being pretty obvious, it was hot to be asked that, in Adrian’s voice, so close to his ear. There was this strange duality in his brain about this man -- there was something fragile about him, like he wasn’t made for as hard of a life as he’d been given, a sense of vulnerability that might have come from the violence Kane had enacted on him ... but at the same time he was strong and dangerous, harboring a monster inside that could end Kane if it wanted to. He could sense that Adrian was strong enough to fuck him, and not just physically. With another helpless groan, Kane pulled his earlobe between his teeth. “I’m ‘bout to start begging you to fuck me,” he admitted in a low rumble, his breath warm in Adrian’s ear. “Bedroom?” As much as he was enjoying just this, his body was getting impatient, and he was dying to expose and lick more of Adrian’s skin.
Adrian almost regretted not waiting a little longer just so he could hear that begging but he didn't really need more stimulation than he was already getting, his body so ramped up and needy he could barely think straight. "Yeah," he whispered back and in a way it felt like he was having sex for the first time all over again. He'd gotten plenty of blowjobs, but fucking a guy was still one of those fantasy only things and he felt both nervous and exhilarated at the prospect of actually doing this. With Kane no less. The jitters didn't take up much space, not when he felt so full of arousal and tingling, every little thing Kane did to him sending sparks through his nervous system. He withdrew his finger and nudged at Kane to get up, his reluctance only matched by his eagerness to do more.
Kane didn’t need any more prompting, climbing off of Adrian a bit slowly to be careful of the coffee table behind him. He was feeling fairly unsteady from the alcohol, and the last thing he needed was to be a klutz and lose his balance. He was constantly embarrassing himself enough. Once he had his feet and was out of Adrian’s way, Kane pushed his boxer briefs the rest of the way down and off to walk naked to the bedroom, his bobbing erection leading the way. Kane flipped off the overhead light once he reached it, then moved to climb over the bed to turn his one lamp on, and shoved his tangled blanket and sheet out of the way so they had plenty of space to use.
It was hard not to notice the marks on Kane's backside and Adrian easily recognized them for what they were. These weren't scars, that was from recent sex. He was in no position to feel jealous but there was still a possessive and irritated feeling inside of him that he couldn't ignore. He should have known Kane was fucking other people, he just hadn't quite been ready to see the evidence of it. Had Kane wanted him to see it? It was hard to tell and he smothered that spark of rage as best as he could as he followed Kane. It wasn't enough to make him want to leave, if anything he just wanted to leave a mark of his own for whoever else was reaping the benefits of Kane's dick. Some rational part of him reminded him that Kane was a disaster in every way. Right now he was drunk and injured but Adrian had also seen him dangerous and violent. What the fuck are you doing here? he thought to himself but he knew the answer very well and the question wasn't enough to override that yearning. He unbuttoned his jeans, relieved as he eased up the pressure on his hardened cock. He wanted to point those marks out to Kane, let him know he'd noticed, make a derogatory remark and hurt him with it. At the same time he didn't want to interrupt what was happening - risk ruining the mood and cockblocking himself with petty bullshit. Scratched up and fucked up, Kane looked good and Adrian kicked off his boots before shimmying out of his jeans and socks, his gaze raking over Kane's body.
Kane hadn’t quite forgotten about his recent roll in the hay with Red, especially considering how it had ended, but the scratches she’d left on him were far from the front of his mind at the moment. All he could think about was Adrian, and what was coming next. Sliding to sit on the edge of the bed, Kane watched him undress with open hunger, his eyes lingering on the shape of his hardon under his boxers. It made Kane’s mouth water, and without asking, he pushed off the bed and down to his knees. His head was starting to swim harder from the bourbon, but his brain was blissfully quiet, all of his focus on the man in front of him. Kane shuffled closer on the carpet, his hands moving to glide up the length of Adrian’s legs as soon as he was close enough. His eyes ticked up to Adrian’s face as his fingers skimmed up warm skin and soft fabric to the waistband of Adrian’s underwear. He leaned in to slowly kiss and lick along the edge of that elastic, loving how soft Adrian’s skin was against his lips. He nuzzled in the line of dark hair that pointed the way to his goal, and started to ease the boxers down, kissing lower and lower.
For the second time, Adrian considered letting him suck him off to completion and then fucking off, leaving Kane wanting. There was that twisted urge to hurt him, mixed in with something else that was far more scary and had little to do with hurt. People couldn't be fixed and Adrian didn't want to fix Kane, but wanting him like this made him question just how sane he himself was and he'd always had empathy for people, even the ones who killed him, apparently. He ran his fingers through Kane's hair, breathing a little faster as Kane's lips teased around that most sensitive part of him, his own mouth hanging open, his eyes a little glazed. He knew just how good Kane was at this and one day he might just let him suck him off to orgasm. That indicated future meetings and Adrian couldn't really deny that he was hoping for those, despite everything. It was easy to not think about how messed up that was when Kane's lips found his cock, the warm breath sending fresh tingles through him, his cock twitching with need.
It was like unwrapping a gift, getting started on a magnificent meal, and Kane wanted to savor it. He let Adrian’s cock bounce free as he guided the boxers all the way off of him, brushing his lips and cheek lightly against it. He breathed him in and planted a few more of those soft teasing kisses around the base of his cock. Dipping his head lower, Kane ran his tongue over Adrian’s balls first, humming his appreciation low in his throat. He did want to taste his cum one day, feel that gorgeous cock swell and throb against his tongue ... Kane just wanted to feel it elsewhere more. He was greedy for that ultimate connection, locked together as closely as humanly possible, he wanted to feel the breath from Adrian’s moans when he came. This was a good warmup though, and some part of Kane wanted to feel used for a while. If this was the only kind of human connection he was good at, he wanted to be good at it. So he dragged his tongue up the underside of Adrian’s mouth to wrap his lips around the sensitive head and suck.
Adrian just stared down at him as he took his time. The beard was new and it felt weird against his cock but not in a bad way, just a little tickling in a strange way that was quickly forgotten when Kane wrapped his lips around his cock and pulled him into the wet heat. Adrian swallowed a moan, letting out a sharp exhale instead and he thought he could jerk off all day just thinking about this if he lived alone. Not only did it feel good, he could feel how much Kane wanted this and he'd never felt as desired as he did in his company, both in bad and good ways so far. Wasn't that just terribly twisted of him, liking the bad and obsessive violent way Kane had first wanted him. He didn't know if it was the trauma or the monster that had changed him, he just knew he was probably permanently fucked up and this was probably the only sex he should be having, with someone he should hate, somene who was as fucked up as he was if not more so.
That feeling of being desired was all that kept Kane going sometimes, and he was finding it was so much stronger like this, the second, third, fourth times ... he and Adrian were only at two, but Kane hadn’t expected him to ever come back for more, so it still felt like a lot. Maybe he should feel shitty about it, that Adrian claimed to hate him and yet here he was with his dick in Kane’s mouth, and maybe he would feel shitty later when he sobered up alone again, but for now he just felt hot and horny and greedy. His palms stroked against the big muscles in Adrian’s thighs as he started to bob his head around his cock, his tongue pressed against it with every stroke. He tasted faintly salty and musky and fucking perfect, and Kane definitely wanted to do this again. Maybe the favor could be blowjobs on call for life. He groaned around Adrian’s thickness and closed his eyes to get lost in the rhythm of it, enjoying every twitch and heavy breath he caused.
Adrian was slowly losing his composure, beginning to feel unsteady on his feet, his muscles tensing as the pleasure grew hot and heavy in his cock and balls. He moaned quietly when Kane's tongue pressed against the underside of his cock, and it just hit different the more sensitive he got. He was fucking good at this and right now Adrian didn't care if it was practice or he was just a natural. He was Adrian's for the moment, whoever left those marks on him wasn't here and they sure as shit hadn't left scars as big as Adrian had. He was in no rush to stop him, not as desperate and touch starved as he had been the last time they met so his stamina felt a little less precarious this time around. All he could focus on was the bob of Kane's head, the things his tongue was doing to him, the little sounds he made as he breathed around him and slurped him down deep. "Get on the bed," he hissed breathlessly after a while when it was starting to get overly tempting to just come in Kane's mouth. He knew he would come back here but there was still that worry that whatever he wanted to do with Kane, he'd only have tonight to do it.
Kane felt like he would’ve happily sucked Adrian’s cock for another hour or two. His own neglected cock was bobbing slowly between his legs, a thick drop of precum dribbling down the shaft. He almost wanted to be neglected this time, maybe even rejected and punished. He’d wanted Red to hurt him because he wanted Adrian to hurt him, and now maybe he would. It was a fucked up headspace to indulge, but Kane was too drunk and sad and self-loathing and fucked up in general to stop any of it. He couldn’t even think straight about it, he just knew what that constant tight knot in his chest wanted. At Adrian’s direction, he sat back on his heels and pulled his mouth off of his cock, spending a few heartbeats just looking at it before he got to his feet. Kane hooked his hand at the back of Adrian’s neck to pull him in for a brief, rough kiss. Then he did as he was told and sat on the bed, scooting back and leaning back on his elbows, his hazy eyes still on Adrian.
Adrian felt that familiar tug where he wanted Kane to throw him against the nearest wall and take him and it was confusing how much he wanted him in such different ways. He followed Kane almost on autopilot, looking around for that lube he knew should be around there somewhere and thankfully finding it without having to make a fuss. That urge to ask if Kane had done this kept coming up like a lump in his throat but that meant Kane might ask him back and he wasn't willing to admit this was his first time actually fucking someone. He hadn't even gotten to that point with his high school girlfriend who was - much to his relief at the time - saving herself for marriage. This wasn't exactly the perfect first time he'd dreamed of, but somehow it was better. Maybe because it was real, or maybe because Kane had him all sorts of fucked up. He knelt on the mattress and moved up between Kane's thighs, popping the bottle open with one hand as he stroked Kane's leg, obsessed with the texture of his scars. The thought of fucking this guy made his breath catch again and he lubed up his fingers, pressing his knees underneath Kane's thighs for better access. All those stupid ideas he'd grown up with were so engraved in him. Kane was bigger than him, he was so much stronger than him - at least when the wendigo wasn't in charge - being in this position felt like he was conquering him and it was stupidly hot to Adrian whose cock was straining for more stimulation, already missing the heat of Kane's mouth.
The few times he had been fucked after AJ, Kane had never wanted to do it on his back. He couldn’t stand the eye contact, the closeness, he’d had to ride or get it from behind, or his entire mood was blown. But now he wanted it this way, where he could stare at Adrian’s face and wrap all of his limbs around him. Like he’d loved to do with AJ. It was probably dangerous ground to tread, but Kane couldn’t care at the moment. He couldn’t call what he felt for Adrian ‘love,’ he had no fucking clue what it really was, but he felt it stronger than he’d felt anything for anyone since AJ’s death. None of which Kane could tell him, of course. Or anyone, as Bailey had made clear. He still wanted to feel it, even if it all just stayed in his head. Kane spread and lifted his legs a bit, hooking them around Adrian’s hips, his cock twitching up off of his lower belly, flushed and needy. It felt like a terribly vulnerable position, but that was exactly what he wanted.
Adrian hadn't really been sure what to expect from Kane but obviously this was how he preferred fucking, whether he was on top or not and Adrian both loved and hated it. It'd be easier to fuck him from behind for a variety of reasons but Adrian also couldn't get enough of the way Kane looked at him. He brought his hand back down between them, his fingers going in far more easily with the lube to clear the way and he wrapped his other hand loosely around Kane's cock, just to feel it. He had shamelessly thought about his cock whenever he was alone, the way it felt when it pressed in deep, spreading him open. It felt good in his grip, thick and warm, the skin silky soft around his hardness. Now he had one more bodypart to add to his fantasies and he couldn't wait to find out what it felt like pressing his cock in there. He wasn't even going to bother trying to deny that he wasn't getting over this anytime soon, that he'd no doubt find a new excuse to come back - or even come back without one.
It wasn’t a tight grip, but it felt fucking divine, especially combined with the smooth slide of Adrian’s finger back into his ass. Kane’s brow furrowed and his breathing got heavier as pleasure started to warm up his gut again. It wasn’t even uncomfortable yet, and he was eager to get to the point where he could take Adrian’s cock. Feeling as masochistic as he was, he was tempted to just say fuck it to the warmup and let Adrian fuck him, but Kane wanted the attention at the same time. “More,” he murmured, giving Adrian a small nod. He had no real idea how many times Adrian had done this before, but everyone’s body was different, and Kane didn’t mind guiding him through this part, even though he didn’t want to talk much.
Adrian didn't want to talk much either, even if he kept getting random shit in his head that he wanted to say out loud. This time he smirked faintly and released Kane's cock to swat him lightly on the thigh. "You're in no position to be making demands," he said flatly, but that smirk suggested he was joking, even if it didn't quite reach his eyes. He suddenly found himself wanting to be bigger, to be stronger, or to tie Kane up and feel completely in control of him like he had at the cabin. He knew what it was he really wanted and that was the feeling of not giving a shit about anything, of feeling invincible and calm. Without that horrible hunger gnawing at him, it actually felt pretty damn good. But he felt fully human tonight, so there was no real bite behind his joke and he did give Kane more, pressing his fingers in deep and testing his resistance.
Kane almost whined the second Adrian let go of his cock, but managed to swallow it back. He narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips at Adrian a little, though the denial actually gave him a tiny thrill inside. “More please,” he murmured, even as Adrian was giving it to him. The last word melted into a moan, and Kane let his head fall back, eyes closing. He shifted his hips slowly, urging Adrian’s fingers deeper and his body to relax into it. Eventually he shifted to fully lay on his back, draping one thick arm over his eyes, his other hand running down his side to clutch at his own thigh for a moment. The urge to touch himself was incredibly strong, since Adrian wasn’t doing it anymore. His cock felt feverishly hot and straining, and he wanted to caress and stroke it, but he got the impression that would get him another one of those chiding little smacks. So he just moaned and gradually got more restless while Adrian worked his ass.