Who: Oliver, Haisley, and Diego When: early evening, Monday, June 25th Where: carnival! Status: complete
Once Diego had learned there was suddenly a carnival in town, it had been difficult to resist the pull to go immediately. Oliver had been working Sunday though, and even though it was tempting, he didn’t really want to go without his man, so they’d made plans to go as a family on Monday evening. He and Oliver had been to carnivals and state fairs before on their years-long ‘road trip’ around the country, and they were always a good time, and Diego was looking forward to exposing Haisley to how much fun it could really be. He hoped she wouldn’t think it was too cheesy -- he also hoped that a carnival that could come to this type of small town would actually be worth the money.
Just seeing all of the lights was exciting, and Diego found himself already grinning as they all climbed out of the car and headed for the entrance. He slung an arm around Haisley’s shoulders and looked down at her face, some big proud sensation in his chest that he was feeling more and more these days when it came to her. Was this how parents felt all the time? It was nice. “You’re gonna have so much fun,” he told her. “If it’s not a crappy carnival. If it is, we’ll take you to a better one soon.”
It had been a while since he and Diego had been to a state fair or carnival, so of course Oliver was a bit excited when he heard one had popped up near the marina. He had worked the early shift that day and had the next day off, so Monday evening seemed like the perfect time to go enjoy it. Haisley had never gotten to enjoy these things, so he was definitely hoping she had fun tonight too. Oliver was pulling out his wallet to pay for their tickets, flashing a grin at Diego and Haisley.
"Maybe we'll take a long weekend sometime and go to Coney Island in New York. There's a beach too." He was making okay money now and while it would be a bit of a drive, it wasn't an intolerable one.
Haisley was excited about the carnival even if she was trying not to show it, because it felt lame to jump up and down over something like this. She wasn't five years old, after all, but she hadn't ever gone to a place like this before. "I'm sure this won't be crappy," Haisley said, flashing a quick grin up at Diego. "I've never had fried pickles before so... yeah, I'm excited about that part. Are you sure the rides are safe and stuff?"
Diego made an approving sound at the suggestion of Coney Island. He’d had a great time there when they’d lived close by, so he knew for sure Haisley would love it too. As long as she enjoyed this small town version, anyway. “Fried pickles, corndogs, cotton candy -- baby, we’re getting it all,” Diego declared happily. Haisley didn’t eat much in general, but he intended to feast on all the awful food and let her have the first bite of whatever she wanted. “I mean, I’m pretty sure they’re safe, but it’s always a bit of a gamble. That’s part of the fun.” He grinned. “If the Ferris wheel starts to fall over, I’ll catch us, don’t worry.”
Haisley's eyes widened briefly at the thought of the Ferris wheel falling over, but she kind of knew Diego was only joking - hopefully. And yeah, he could totally save them if it came down to it. She took the ticket that Oliver offered after he finished paying at the booth and tried not to think about how many people were there... but there were so many people. Already the urge to reach out and feed off of them was strong so she tried to refocus on Oliver and Diego instead. "What was your favorite ride at Coney Island?" she asked, her gaze sweeping along the booths suddenly surrounding them.
Oliver handed Diego and Haisley their tickets before slipping his wallet back into his back pocket. He grinned a bit at the memory of Coney Island. "The Cyclone rollercoaster. It was the first rollercoaster I'd ever been on, so I think there's a lot of nostalgia in that. Diego was always a lot braver than me on the rides though, so he's the one to cling to if you get scared. I'll just end up screaming like a giant wuss."
Diego laughed. “He screams like a strong, brave warrior man,” he corrected with warm affection in his tone. Maybe it was because of his gift, but rides that played with crazy g-forces had never terrified him or made him sick. They were always just exhilarating instead, and Diego loved them. “The Cyclone is a classic,” he went on, since Haisley had asked. “But there’s some that are crazier there, like there’s one where you’re in this big ball cage and it flings you like a slingshot?” Looking around as they walked, he pointed toward a ride that looked like it spun people around really fast. “That one looks good,” he said, glancing over at Oliver and Haisley. “You wanna start fast, or slow?”
A strong, brave warrior man. Oliver laughed at that, because they both knew that wasn't true. He liked an adrenaline rush as much as anyone, but he certainly wasn't as brave as Diego. Still, it was worth it to have a good time and see Diego actually having fun and enjoying themselves. They had been isolated for so long that it seemed like Point Pleasant was allowing them to have proper lives, even if some of the circumstances still made Oliver uncomfortable. "I'm fine with whatever you two want to do first," Oliver said, looking expectantly at Haisley. He didn't want them to push her onto something she wasn't ready for.
Haisley was taken in by the smells of food. She couldn't quite place what they were, but they made her stomach rumble. Looking at the ride Diego pointed to, Haisley chewed on her lip before nodding. "Let's do that. I guess if I have fun on that, I'll probably have fun on everything. And besides, I want to hear some of this warrior screaming."
In Diego’s humble opinion, Oliver had proven his bravery for all time when he’d rescued Diego from the facility. He could be a coward mouse about everything else in life and he would still be Diego’s big brave hero. His man was humble too, however, so Diego wasn’t going to argue. He laughed at Haisley’s words instead and shot Oliver a dimpled grin as they all headed toward the ride. That was going to be a running joke in their family, he could already tell, and it made him ridiculously happy.
The Round Up ended up being great fun, and Diego did some screaming of his own -- there were precious few places in polite society where screaming was allowed, much less encouraged. He didn’t notice anything amiss, but his eyes were closed for the majority of the ride, just enjoying the crazy sensations in his stomach. He felt a little unsteady and a lot windblown as they all exited the ride, his eyes on Haisley to gauge her reaction.
Haisley found she loved the ride. Listening to everyone screaming with joy - or some form of fear - only heightened her enjoyment of the ride. She had shut her eyes for the first few seconds, but found keeping them open definitely made everything better. Her stomach wasn't even woozy or anything by the time they all stepped down from the ride. "That was fun," Haisley said, glad she had worn her hair in a ponytail. Oliver's hair was a bit disheveled and his face a little flushed, but he looked like he'd had fun too.
Oliver had had fun and he brought his hands up to push them through Diego's hair to try and tame it a bit. "I think this warrior man needs something a bit more slow going," he said with a laugh. He envied Haisley's youth and her ability to withstand such dizzying rides without many side effects. "Where'd you wanna go next? Ferris Wheel? Carousel?"
The grooming from his man made Diego smile anew and he patted Oliver’s butt affectionately as a thank you. “We should save the Ferris wheel for last,” he suggested. “The view will be fantastic.” There might not be much to see but dark forest beyond the Point Pleasant city limits, but there would be the ocean and the sky itself, and he thought that might be a good way to cap off the evening. “What do you think, my girl?” he asked Haisley, reaching out to lightly tug a tiny bit on her ponytail. “Or are you hungry first? Snacks and games?”
Oliver was fine saving the Ferris wheel for last. After the rides and food they were probably going to enjoy, it would be nice to sit down for a bit and enjoy the view. As Diego asked Haisley her opinion, Oliver glanced around, recognizing more than a few familiar faces. It was strange to be in town where he and Diego were starting to know people, to belong. They had always kept to themselves, more or less, before arriving in Point Pleasant. Now they had friends and a teenage girl to take care of.
"Let's do the carousel first," Haisley suggested after a moment. "Then maybe play some games?" She hadn't said so, but she had already been feeding off of people around them and she wasn't exactly hungry now.
Diego was tempted to get a beer before they got on the carousel, but he wasn’t sure if that was allowed, and drinking it would make him want something salty and then suddenly his hands would be full of snacks. He decided he could wait. At least the carousel would be chill and relaxing. Why it was fun to ride around in a circle while mounted on a fiberglass horse while silly music played, he didn’t know, but it was. “Sounds perfect,” Diego said with a smile, and started to lead the way toward the ride. The line wasn’t long, thankfully, and soon enough they were picking their mounts and climbing aboard.
Haisley was a bit distracted as they all found a horse to ride. There were a few cute boys here and there, some of which got her pulse beating a bit harder. And there might have been some mild jealousy that there were girls her age, much prettier, hanging out with them. It was like she was missing out on something, even if she couldn't really define what that was. As soon as she was settled and holding onto the pole in front of her, she looked over to see Diego and Oliver on their horses. The sight made her smile and reach into her pocket to pull out her phone so she could take a picture. It was both sweet and funny at the same time.
"Makes me feel like a kid again," Oliver told Diego, laughing a little as he tried to get comfortable on the wooden saddle. "Not that I ever did this as a kid, but still. You look adorable, by the way." And he did. He loved how happy his man looked and Oliver wanted to see that smile on Diego's face every day.
Diego had obviously never done this as a kid either, but there was something childlike and fun about it. Something whimsical. The horses weren’t exactly made for grown men though, so he definitely felt bigger than a child as he found the most comfortable spot and beamed over at Oliver. “I always look adorable, right?” he teased, obviously pleased with the compliment at the same time. He glanced over at Haisley and caught her taking their picture, then laughed, winked, and stuck his tongue out at her a little. He was about to ask her if she was comfy when the carousel lurched forward and started rotating, their mounts starting to slowly raise and lower.
Haisley put her phone away quickly and hung onto the pole sticking out from the horse she was on. It was a good thing she didn't get dizzy easily because the carousel was definitely picking up speed. She could hear some joyous screams from some of the smaller kids on the ride and even Oliver and Diego looked like they were having fun. She was having fun too and started looking out at the world revolving around them quickly.
Oliver thought it was a pleasant ride, something he was glad to do given how little he and Diego had been able to do over the past decade. Why not just try out everything? Eat everything? Overdo it and be grateful that they did? Sure, this wasn't the only time they would be able to enjoy a carnival, but it was the first real piece of entertainment they had been able to enjoy since arriving in Point Pleasant and that was more thrilling than anything else.
They had been pretty starved for entertainment beyond books and TV and that kind of thing, they didn’t get to go out to events like this very often. Or be social, another thing he was really enjoying about living in this weird little town. Diego enjoyed the motion of the horse under him and the way the world spun around him for a while, reaching over to playfully pinch at Oliver’s leg once or twice. He let out an ‘aww’ as the carousel slowed to a stop, but then it began to move again, backward this time, and Diego laughed lightly.
A child on another part of the carousel shrieked and all of the sudden Diego was not where he was. He was small again, small and helpless and screaming for his mama before a huge man who stank like liquor and cigars put a meaty hand over his mouth. Diego’s stomach churned as he smelled it all again, felt it again. The pressure of a grown man’s body crushing his, the terror that he was about to die, all of that pain in his most private parts ... In the present time, his body slumped forward, shoulder hitting the golden pole, his eyes rolled back and his lips moving in a silent “no, no, no.” A shudder ran through Diego and he started to slip off of the mount.
Oliver looked over at Diego just as he slumped forward. Without thinking, Oliver reached out with one hand to grip Diego's shirt in an effort to keep him from falling off of the horse. His heart leapt into his throat as panic took over. "Hey!" Trying to hold Diego up while attempting to get off the moving horse was difficult but then Haisley was there, helping keep Diego upright long enough for Oliver to get off of his horse and grip Diego tight. It was difficult to stay still with the carousel moving so fast and with the loud carnival music piping out from the speakers above, he doubted anyone would hear if he shouted for them to stop the ride.
"What happened?" Haisley asked, gripping the back of the horse Diego was on. Oliver gritted his teeth, trying to keep Diego on the horse.
"Diego," Oliver said, slapping the side of Diego's face gently, but frantically. "Talk to me. What happened?"
Diego was lost, engrossed in the overwhelming memory that he’d blocked out for so many years, all of it fresh and sharp like he was living it again. He vaguely thought he heard people yelling but he couldn’t pull himself out of his own mind, locked in even as the scene changed. Everything was bright white and sterile, the room he’d had at the Facility. He was older than he’d been but still not very old yet, and he’d been Bad. As a punishment they’d taken away all of his furniture, so he was curled up in the corner of the white room, hovering inches above the floor and crying for everything he’d lost and everything he didn’t understand. On the carousel he leaned heavily against Oliver, eyes still shut, muttering a few unintelligible things, but nothing close to an answer. Diego whimpered and pushed weakly at whatever his hands came in contact with.
He was sure to most people it might look like Diego was having some kind of episode, or seizure, even if he wasn't convulsing. Oliver held onto him the best that he could, wondering if he could gently pull Diego from the horse onto the floor of the carousel. But the damn thing was moving too fast and Oliver didn't want to risk hurting him.
Haisley looked terrified, and that was probably because she was. She hadn't seen this happen before and Diego truly looked like he was in distress of some kind. "What do we do?" Haisley asked Oliver, wishing she didn't sound so frightened.
"We wait..." Oliver was staring at Diego's face while realizing he hadn't spoken English. "We wait," he said again. "The ride should be almost over. Diego..." Oliver carefully stepped forward to wrap his arms around Diego. "You're okay... I'm here. Please wake up..."
Inside his head, Diego’s surroundings shifted again, but not as dramatically this time -- he got older and his furniture came back, but it was still that same white room. His body calmed some but remained limp in Oliver’s embrace as a different flavor of memory started, this one much more pleasant. It was the first time he saw Oliver, the first time they spoke Spanish to each other, the first time Diego’s heart raced with attraction and excitement rather than fear. Oliver had known exactly how to talk to him, how to calm him down, and he’d fallen in love almost immediately. “Te amo,” he mumbled, unaware of when and where he was speaking. All he could focus on were those shiny black curls and soulful brown eyes, still so vivid in his memory.
Hearing anything from Diego helped and Oliver exhaled sharply when the ride began to slow down. He was going to have to find a doctor somewhere in this place, or carry Diego back to the car to go to the hospital, because something was wrong. "Can you hear me?" Oliver murmured against Diego as the ride slowed to a stop. "Are you there?" He felt terrible for Haisley who looked close to tears but there was nothing he could do to reassure her until Diego was lucid again.
Reality began to blur as the carousel slowed, and Diego tried to reach for the young Oliver in his mind, but he couldn’t get a grip because he kept moving up and down, like his gravity was going nuts. At the same time, he could hear Oliver’s questions coming from very far away, and ... music? He didn’t come fully out of it until they were stopped, his lashes fluttering as he struggled to open his eyes. Everything seemed both too bright and darker than it had been, and that music was really getting obnoxious. Diego became aware that Oliver was supporting him and he tried to grope for something to pull himself up again. “What happened?” he murmured fuzzily, everything all jumbled in his mind.
Exhaling softly when Diego seemed to come back to the present, Oliver rubbed his back, ignoring the curious looks from those leaving the carousel. "You seemed to black out," Oliver explained. "You were in distress... do you remember anything? Are you okay to get to your feet?" He and Haisley could support Diego if he felt shaky, but Oliver wanted to get him down off the wooden horse as soon as possible.
“I was remembering,” Diego muttered, his tongue feeling too thick for words for some reason. He was a little lightheaded and felt surreal, but he managed to climb off of the fake horse without falling, with Oliver’s help. Diego kept an arm around him as he steadied himself. He blinked and squinted as he glanced around, then reached his free hand out to Haisley, who looked like she was about to bawl. “It’s okay, sweet girl,” he murmured. “I’m okay.” He thought he was, anyway, it was hard to tell for a moment. “I don’t ... it didn’t start until we changed directions. It was like ... I was reliving the past. Bad parts, at first.” Diego frowned, his brow knitted. “It all felt so real again.”
Remembering. Oliver frowned, his arm tightening around Diego to help him move away from the carousel. Had the carousel triggered those memories somehow? As far as Oliver knew, Diego had never ridden one of these as a child. "PTSD can be unpredictable," Oliver said, not at all thinking there was something off about the carousel itself. After all, he hadn't experienced anything strange, nor had Haisley. Haisley, who looked mildly frustrated now.
"Can you talk in English?" she asked, wanting to know what they were talking about. She knew some Spanish now, but they were fluent in it so she couldn't always keep up. "Are you sure you're okay? Should we go home?"
“Sorry love, of course,” Diego murmured as they shuffled away from the ride. He was feeling a bit steadier with every step, and he frowned vaguely as he glanced over his shoulder at the carousel. A fresh crop of people were climbing aboard, happy as you please, and he had to wonder if it had been the ride, or some switch in his brain that had been flipped. “That has never happened to me before,” he pointed out, looking to Oliver with a fretful expression. “I mean, I have had flashbacks, but not that immersive. I could feel everything -- and it was --” Diego cut himself off, his gaze ticking to Haisley. He didn’t want to go into details about what all he’d felt in front of her. “I’m okay, I think, but yes ... I’d like to go home,” he murmured.
Oliver felt that was best, though he felt bad for cutting short Haisley's night. He nearly told her that she could stay as long as she wanted and he would come back to pick her up, but he could tell by the look on her face that she wanted to leave too. "It's okay," Oliver said, rubbing his hand up and down Diego's back. "We'll come back another time if you're feeling up to it." He was concerned about what had happened and wanted to talk to Diego more in depth about the details, but he didn't want to do that in front of Haisley either.
Haisley wasn't really that disappointed but she did feel bad that this had happened, since Diego had looked so excited to be there. She didn't want to bug him by asking if he was sure he was okay, but she walked close, just in case it happened again and he fell or something.
Diego was comforted by having both of them close through the journey back to the car, and he sat in the back with Haisley to hold her hand while Oliver drove them home. Physically, he felt fine now, but he was pretty shaken up in other ways he was trying to keep under wraps as they headed back to Seaview. Diego hadn’t thought about that awful day in a long time, and being reminded in such a visceral way was incredibly upsetting, but he was a father now and parents kept themselves in check for the benefit of their kids. She didn’t need to see him break down over events that had happened thirty years ago. So Diego stayed as calm as he could on the outside while his heart and mind raced on the inside.
At home, after another round of reassurances that he was okay, Diego hung out with Haisley and Oliver in the kitchen while they all had a snack and tried to talk about normal things. It wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to do, but Diego had done hard things before. Most of his life, really. Once Haisley seemed a bit more at ease, Diego gave her a hug and kissed her forehead before he retreated to the bedroom, claiming to need a nap. Once the door was closed and he was horizontal, he buried his face in Oliver’s pillow and let himself start to feel everything again so he could let it out.
Oliver knew that Diego was keeping things in check while Haisley was around. He knew Haisley would understand a lot of what Diego was going through, but there were some aspects of his life, before the facility, that Oliver was sure Diego would rather she not know. So he played along like things were settled and fine again, but as soon as Diego headed for the bedroom, he left Haisley watching a movie and went in to check on his partner. Closing the door quietly behind him, Oliver moved to lay down beside Diego, one hand reaching out to rub his back. "What happened?" he murmured.
Diego wasn’t surprised to hear Oliver come in behind him, and he was grateful that Oliver knew him well enough to see through his efforts to keep his shit together. His breathing was already thick and teary by the time he felt Oliver’s weight move the mattress beside him, and Diego shifted in closer and turned his face toward his lover. “It was all so real,” he mumbled between sniffles. “Not like a dream, more like I was just ... transported back to those times and that me, in the past. I could feel, smell, hear, everything, every detail.” Diego’s expression squeezed into something painful for a moment and more tears leaked out of his closed eyes. “And first it was my rape, as a child. More clearly than I have ever remembered it.” And God, all that pain and fear had felt so immediate and present. Maybe it was a godsend that the scene had changed and Diego hadn’t brought the whole carousel crashing down like he had that building so long ago.
Oliver's frown deepened and he scooted in a bit closer, keeping his hand rubbing up and down Diego's back comfortingly. "Was it something at the carnival that triggered it?" Oliver murmured. "Maybe something you saw, or heard?" Diego had experienced nightmares for a long time after they fled the facility and while they had put a lot of time and distance between themselves and that place, Oliver knew the trauma never truly left Diego. It was just odd that it seemed to surface so rapidly, so acutely, while they were on a carousel, of all places. Now he worried what might be happening, if it was something that would happen more frequently.
He shook his head a tiny bit against the pillow, moving one hand up to swipe at the wetness on his cheeks before he put that hand against Oliver's chest. Feeling his heartbeat was always grounding and soothing, like it was a reminder that Diego was really here in this life. “Nothing I can name,” he answered softly. “I had never been to a fair like that before you and I went the first time ... so it wasn’t tied to those ... ‘before’ memories. And they changed, too. First it was the man, then I was older and in the Facility, on punishment and upset about it ... and then you were there.” Diego opened his eyes to look at Oliver’s face. “So it wasn’t all bad. But I could see you clear as day, just like the day we met.”
Oliver chuckled softly and gave a small smile, hoping to ease some of Diego's distress. "My awkward, gangly self. I remember thinking how cute I thought you were, and then feeling stupidly inappropriate, considering the circumstances. I don't think I'd ever thought anyone was cute before I first saw you though. You opened my eyes to a lot of things." Talking about the good parts, instead of the traumatic ones, may help a bit in this situation. Though Oliver knew their past together couldn't completely erase all the badness Diego had endured, he knew sometimes it helped the soul to push the darkness with some light.
In spite of all the shit stirred up in his memory banks, Diego couldn’t help but smile. “You were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen,” he murmured. He’d learned to live with darkness and light both inside of him, in huge part thanks to Oliver, so Diego knew there was always a balance to be struck. Those early days had been full of so many things Diego had never felt before, and learning later that Oliver had never felt them either in spite of living in the outside world his whole life had made it all feel so special. Like they’d been made for each other. Romantic nonsense, maybe, but it still felt true. With a soft sigh, he half-rolled and cuddled in closer, wanting to be as surrounded by his man as possible. “I wanted my fingers in your curls immediately,” he added with a soft huff. “You taught me to be a person.”
"Sometimes I wish I could go back and kill everyone there who had hurt you," Oliver murmured. "Or just let you destroy the place yourself." Diego hadn't been fully in control of his abilities back then and who knew what would have really happened, but sometimes the urge for revenge was so strong in the pit of his stomach, especially when he knew those memories were hurting Diego. Oliver just wanted to protect him and it killed him when he couldn't. "I'm sorry you had to relive everything while you should have been having fun."
Diego had spent years entertaining destructive fantasies of doing both of those things. Killing everyone involved, going around the country and destroying every Facility they could find, just going on a vengeance rampage. He knew that they wouldn’t have survived it at the time, and then his short and tortured life would’ve been for nothing. Diego had thought he’d let it all go, but now that he was presented the opportunity to balance the scales a bit here in this town, he realized his righteous anger had just gone dormant while he’d had a full life with Oliver. He pressed a couple of slow kisses against Oliver’s jaw. “We will crush them here,” he murmured, soft and dark.
"Yes." Oliver knew it would be Diego and the others who would do the crushing. Oliver would just be standing by, worried out of his mind and praying that nothing bad happened to his family. Oliver brought his hand up to brush it over Diego's cheek. "Do you think Haisley and I could cheer you up? Order some pizza, watch a movie together? We can still have a family night, if you want it." Or Diego could stay in the room and have some time to himself, if he needed that too. Oliver couldn't wipe away what happened today, but he could try his best to help Diego forget it for a while.
He didn’t know how it would all turn out, of course, that wasn’t his gift. But Diego felt in his heart that all of them together could do incredible things, and that they were going to come out on top. He had to believe that, and just pray that their casualties were minimal. Trying to predict how anything would go was a waste of energy and he tried to let it go. Diego hummed an affirmative noise and hugged Oliver’s body closer for a moment. “That sounds nice. Go ahead and order, and let me know when it arrives? I’m going to rest until then.” There was still some emotion he probably needed to purge before he could enjoy a peaceful family night. He didn’t know why he’d been struck by such vivid memories so suddenly, but Diego wanted to give himself space to process them.
Leaning in, Oliver pressed a kiss to Diego's forehead. He would get dinner ordered, have Haisley choose a movie and let Diego rest for a bit. "Call if you need anything?" He was sure all Diego really needed was some privacy to deal with whatever emotions were rushing through him, but he and Haisley would be there for him anyway, even if it came in the form of pizza and a silly movie. He was sure Haisley had some questions too, so Oliver would handle that as well as he could.
Diego was dumbly grateful for his man at that moment. Oliver had always been wonderful about knowing when to give him space to process and figure things out, and never taking it personally. He knew on some level that he would not have healed mentally and emotionally as much as he had if it hadn’t been for Oliver’s unwavering support. He nodded and snagged one of Oliver’s hands to kiss the back of it. “I love you,” he murmured. He could let himself remember and cry for his younger self for a little while, then the storm would pass just like any other, and he could go be with his family again and make the most of an unsettling evening.