bailey jansen (outofthehole) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2022-02-16 17:49:00 |
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Entry tags: | #june 2018, bailey, bailey x kane, kane |
Who: Bailey and Kane
When: late afternoon into evening, Sunday, June 24th
Where: the carnival!
Status: Complete
It had been a late rollercoaster of a Saturday night, so Kane slept in late on Sunday. It wasn’t great sleep, plagued with restless dreams that ranged from horny to horrific and difficulty staying comfortable due to the stitched wounds in his back. By the time he woke up, it was midday and the storm had dissipated. Kane stood out on his tiny back deck with a blanket wrapped around him and smoked a cigarette, squinting sourly at the world, then shuffled back inside to take a shower. He washed around his injury as gingerly as he could, and struggled for a while to re-bandage it himself. That bastard monster just had to get him in a super awkward place, hadn’t it? Fuck. He was briefly tempted to go to Adrian’s house -- like he’d said he wouldn’t do -- for help, but that was stupid. Nor did he want to ask Bailey. So the bandage just ended up crooked and kind of wrinkled, with Kane pressing his back painfully against the wall to get the tape to stick.
With both the good and bad memories from the night before swirling madly around in his head, Kane felt claustrophobic in his apartment. Once he was clean and had popped some painkillers, he got dressed again and went to his car, intending on just having a drive around, maybe turn his Uber app on. He just needed something distracting to do. He thought he caught a whiff of Adrian in the car as he climbed in, and Kane sighed. God, he was an idiot. As badly as he’d wanted the previous night to happen, and as badly as he wanted it to happen again, he knew it was foolish. He didn’t live the kind of life where he could have things like that for long -- hadn’t the universe already taught him that lesson? Adrian just wanted his life back, and he didn’t need Kane to poison it for him.
He drove around listlessly for a while, until a new feature on the horizon caught his attention. Kane rolled to a stop at a light and squinted at it -- was that a fucking ferris wheel? He was pretty sure it hadn’t been there yesterday. Curious, he turned to drive closer to the marina, and picked up his phone to call his sister on the SUV’s bluetooth. If there was some fair in town or something, she would surely know about it.
Bailey had just finished her shift at the station when Kane called. She already knew about the carnival. It had taken the entire PD by surprise and had been the only topic of conversation for most of the day. Not only in the station, but in town too. She could see the Ferris wheel from the parking lot and Bailey quickly finished lighting her cigarette when she tugged her phone out of her back pocket to answer it. Seeing her brother's name, her stomach dropped. They didn't call each other often, Bailey was more of a texting kind of gal, and she couldn't help but feel a sense of dread when he did call. Probably because she was expecting bad news. Kane was injured again, bleeding out... or dead. Maybe it was about their mom.
Exhaling the smoke slowly, she considered not answering, but her thumb made the decision for her as it quickly tapped the Answer button.
"If you need emergency assistance, I would recommend calling 911 for once," she said, in lieu of a proper greeting.
Kane was too distracted to think about how Bailey might feel about a phone call from him, but he didn’t like to text and drive too often, and this was just more efficient anyway. He grinned faintly and rolled his eyes as her sardonic greeting came out of his speakers. “Haha, you missed your calling as a comedian,” he retorted. “Are you in the middle of something? It’s not important, I just wanted to ask you about this like ... carnival? Is that what it is? I just looked up and there’s a fucking ferris wheel sticking up over the trees and it was weird.” It was also probably weird for him to call his sister just to chat about something mundane, but something in Kane kind of wanted company today, so his brain would stop spiraling, and Bailey was really his only semi-friend.
"My shift just ended," Bailey explained. “As for the carnival... I don't know, it's just a carnival. We didn't know about it until this morning, but apparently they had all their permits and shit, so..." It was strange, but strange was normal in this town so Bailey didn't think much of it. "I'll say one thing, I can smell the funnel cakes from the station and I'm seriously thinking about walking over there to buy one for dinner." Not terribly healthy, but what part of her lifestyle was? Fried dough and a beer sounded pretty damn good at the moment.
Kane’s memory of his childhood was kind of patchy and not a place he went back to with any regularity. He thought he vaguely recalled seeing a carnival or two in Point Pleasant as a kid, but he didn’t remember ever going to one until he was grown and out of the house. No doubt it was one of those events that their dad had forbidden, yelling about wastes of money and time at two kids who just wanted to have some fun for once. Kane might have pushed the specific memories down far, but he knew the jist. “Aw damn, now I want one,” he said with a chuckle. “And a fuckin’ corn dog and a beer ... I’m not far from the station, want me to swing by and pick you up?”
Bailey had wandered through state fairs before, when she was a deputy elsewhere and being paid for it. But she had never gone just for fun before and Bailey had to admit she was a little surprised by the yearning she had to go now. So when Kane offered to pick her up, she barely acknowledged the brief hesitation in her gut and instead she tossed her cigarette, trying not to sound too eager. "Sure, why not. I'll be in the parking lot." She was trying to imagine her brother wandering around a carnival with a beer and a corn dog and the mental image alone made her grin. All that noise and color and people... hell, it didn't really appeal to her either, at least not on a normal day. But maybe they would have some fun. If not, at least she'd get a drink out of it.
His own limited experience with carnivals had revolved around being in the Corps and fairs happening to pop up around where he was stationed. It was very different to go to a place like that with a bunch of other raucous horny young soldiers than to go with one’s baby sister, Kane imagined, but he still wanted to do it. Bailey was the best company he had in his life, and if she was willing to saunter around and eat some bad food and drink cheap beer and people watch, then Kane was going to take that opportunity. Maybe it would actually get his mind off of Adrian for a while. He needed that. “Hell yeah, be there in a few,” he said, and punched the button on his dash to hang up. Kane took a turn toward the cop station. A couple of minutes later he was pulling in and rolling to a stop near his sister.
While Bailey waited for Kane, she grabbed a clean shirt from the back of her car, changing there in the parking lot. She kept her gun and badge on her, though the gun was hidden by the jacket she slipped into. By the time he pulled into the lot, she was ready to go. As she climbed into the passenger seat, she was relieved to find Kane looking like he was more or less in one piece. "No one knew it was coming," she said again, settling back into her seat. "No advertisement, no request for police presence. The mystery of it all has everyone pretty excited." Bailey had no idea how smart that was, but who was she to judge when she was on her way there to buy incredibly unhealthy carnival food?
“So weird,” Kane muttered as he put the SUV into gear again. He would never admit it out loud, but it was good to see her too. Maybe it wasn’t on the level of Kane’s chosen path, but being a cop in this town had always seemed to be pretty fucking dangerous in its own right. Even knowing that, for some reason this carnival didn’t seem the bad kind of weird. It was just some harmless rides and rigged games and awesome food, right? Fun. It was usually a pretty foreign concept to him, but maybe this would be a good time. “Maybe they just got a shitty PR guy and somebody forgot to make some phone calls or somethin’. Did you guys get any calls about any bullshit there today?” Kane arched his brow a bit as he glanced over.
Weird was one way to put it. Bailey barely blinked at weird anymore. She shrugged, not really caring much about the carnival's PR. Instinct told her it wasn't that simple, but until the place made trouble for them, there wasn't much Bailey, or anyone else, could do about it. "No bullshit today," Bailey said, glancing at her brother. "I drove by there earlier when I was on patrol and it looked normal enough. People seemed to be having fun. The screams were screams of joy, if you would believe that. Maybe if we don't go in there expecting bullshit, we won't have to deal with any."
Kane chuckled faintly over her description of the screams, then grunted his agreement to the last part. No calls to the cops was usually a good sign. “Screams of joy, dunno if I remember what those sound like,” he muttered. After he gave it another second’s thought, he couldn’t help but smirk a tiny bit. Okay, so he knew what some screams of joy sounded like, but those tended to happen when everybody was naked. Kane couldn’t remember the last time he had some fun that would be considered wholesome. “Did you see any actually fun rides? Or just kiddie shit and the ferris wheel?” he asked, since Bailey had already scoped the place out. Maybe pumping some adrenaline into his system from non-lethal sources would be good for him.
Shrugging again, she dug into her pocket for her mints. "I don't know. There were some adult rides, but I don't know how fun they would be after drinking beer and eating fried food. We can check them out though and you can tell me if they're lame or not." Popping a mint between her lips, she slipped the roll back into her pocket. "Some whirly thing. Tunnel of Love, of course, which looks like a Tunnel of Torture, if you ask me. A funhouse... maze of mirrors. Typical shit you'd find in a carnival, I guess. I rode a Ferris wheel once, when I was working the state fair in Georgia. Pierce came to see me and convinced me to get on it with him. It was so goddamn high, I just froze. Felt paralyzed. Nearly puked in his lap. Apparently I'm afraid of heights and didn’t know it until I was twenty four."
Oh right, beer and grease, those were probably priorities over rollercoasters. Kane was actually hungry, after all. Maybe he would come back, if there seemed to be some cool shit to ride. Carnivals always stuck around for a while, there was no way this was a single-day affair or anything. Bailey’s story made him grin crookedly. “Sure it wasn’t just the company makin’ you sick?” he quipped, happy to dunk on her ex-husband anytime, even though he’d never even met the guy. Kane was just being supportive, right? “That’s a shitty way to find out, though. And glad I didn’t get it, I was jumping outta planes by twenty four.” They were getting close to the marina now, and Kane started looking around for where the parking was set up for this thing.
When Kane mentioned jumping out of planes, Bailey rolled her eyes to mask the shiver she felt through her spine. She loved adrenaline, but she wasn't about to search for it thousands of feet in the air. At least it had been a ferris wheel that triggered her fear and not when she decided to go bungee jumping or something. Kane's dig at Pierce didn't bother her either. She did it a lot herself, though usually just in her head. Bailey had no doubt Pierce had plenty to say about her too. "There's a spot," she said, pointing to the empty space between two smaller cars. "If you can squeeze this thing in there, anyway."
Kane’s experiences launching himself out of planes had zero to do with thrill-seeking and everything to do with being a soldier. It had been thrilling, naturally, but it had still been part of the job, and he was very glad he hadn’t had any shitty reactions to the heights or free-falling through them until his chute deployed. He’d never really talked to Bailey about his military career though, and he didn’t plan to start. “If I can,” Kane muttered with a soft scoff, turning the wheel to smoothly pull the SUV into the parking spot. He shot her a Look as he cut the engine, then smirked a bit and gathered up his phone and cigarettes to pocket as he climbed out of the car.
Bailey was a good driver but she hated parking. It had taken her two attempts to get her driver's license as a teenager, because she kept hitting those damn cones when trying to parallel park. Unable to help herself, she stuck her tongue out at him before climbing out of the SUV. The smell of fried treats and popcorn overwhelmed her, in a good way, and Bailey breathed in deep, wishing she had some sense of nostalgia from the scents. But if she wanted to be reminded of her childhood, she would have to depend on stale cigars and musty couch cushions. Bailey could hear the music, the screams from whatever rides were inside. There were three ticket booths ahead, with lines of varying lengths. "You don't have a clown phobia, do you?" she asked Kane, crunching through the remaining mint in her mouth.
Kane ambled along beside her, his hands tucked into his jacket pockets. He chuckled at the question, glancing over at his sister’s profile. “Not that I’m aware of,” he answered. “Why are you tryin’ to probe for all my weaknesses? You mad at me for somethin’?” It was obvious from his smirk and his tone that he was joking, but still it was kind of funny that she would think he would be afraid of something like clowns, considering the type of shit he ran across every day. But phobias were irrational by definition, weren’t they? As they got in the shortest ticket booth line, he moved to pull his wallet out. “It’s on me,” Kane told Bailey. “To make up for like ... y’know ... not, when we were kids. A tiny bit, anyway.”
"If you know my weakness, I ought to know yours," Bailey said jovially. She was only halfway kidding. On some level it seemed as though they already knew plenty about the other, in terms of weaknesses anyway... they had grown up in the same house, after all. Bailey watched Kane pull out his wallet, arching a brow in the process. "I'm not going to argue if you're going to pay, but you don't have to make up for anything. And if you really think you do, then you can get me a beer or two inside too." Bailey slipped her hands into her jacket pockets. She didn't want to get into all that right now and she doubted Kane did either, so it was better to keep things light, especially before walking into a carnival.
He did honestly feel like he owed her a lot, though Kane had no idea how to express that. He’d left home the instant he could, and he’d left her behind. Not that taking her with him into the military would’ve been an option, but Kane hadn’t been good at keeping in touch. They’d never been close except in that way that people with shared trauma were close, and it made him sad now that he was older. Buying tickets and beer and popcorn at the carnival wasn’t going to make up for any of that, but he still wanted to make it his treat. “Or maybe I was gonna do that anyway, you’ll never know what I’m thinkin’,” Kane countered with a little smirk. They stepped up to the booth and he paid for their tickets. The guy behind the tiny counter looked a little weird, but didn’t all carnies look weird? It had to be part of the job. Kane paid with cash and handed Bailey her ticket as they turned away. “Beer first?” he asked.
Bailey studied the man taking Kane's money and also noted he looked a little odd. But then Kane was handing her a ticket and Bailey refocused. "Beer first," she confirmed, stepping away from the ticket booth to walk into the carnival. If someone would have told her six months ago that she would be hanging out with her brother at a carnival, Bailey would have been convinced they were smoking crack. But here they were. It was as surreal as it was... nice. Maybe they would never talk about growing up in such a shitty household together, but they could try to make things better now. Assuming neither one of them got killed, of course. Given Kane's job, and her own, that was always a slim possibility. "Jesus, this is weird," Bailey said, glancing around the area. "How they managed to get this all up and running in one night... doesn't seem possible."
“Lotta greasy hands working at once?” Kane said, like he knew anything about it first-hand. “They’ve probably done it hundreds of times. That was a nasty storm though, bet it wasn’t easy this round.” He walked alongside his sister, his gaze casually sweeping around, hunting both for a beer stall and anything that stuck out as dangerous. It was more an instinct now than any conscious thought that they might be in danger. The most looming threats were probably just indigestion and a headache from all the screaming going on. He knew the ferris wheel was out of the question with Bailey along, but he wondered if she would go on one of the crazier rides with him if he asked her. It probably wasn’t a good idea if they drank a lot of beer, but he could pace himself in the interest of a rollercoaster. “So heights are out ... you scared of like the big spinny one too? Fast rides?”
"Yeah, I guess so," Bailey said, still glancing around. She was trying not to shift into cop-mode with her observations, wanting to enjoy the evening rather than let her mind sink into Point Pleasant paranoia. She gestured ahead to one of the drink stands. The word Beer was written on a wood slat in bright red block letters. "I'm not scared of fast rides, or spinny rides or... rides, okay? Just the kind that take me too high into the sky and linger there, like a ferris wheel. I can handle the rest." She felt silly admitting to being afraid of anything, to be honest, like she was exposing herself for judgment or ridicule, even though she knew Kane wouldn't do either of those things. "But if we're going to do all that shit, we need to do it before you start buying me cotton candy and pretzels, unless you want me to vomit all over your lovely boots."
Kane wasn’t going to make fun of her, but he did find it mildly funny in a big brother sort of way, like he wanted to drag her up there anyway just to see her freak out. Why did people kind of want to torture the people they loved sometimes? Luckily he’d long grown out of acting on those weird impulses. “Let’s avoid vomit, but we definitely gotta be a little buzzed first,” Kane said lightly as they stepped up to the beer booth. He bought them both the biggest size beer on offer and made sure to tuck a couple of dollars into the tip jar before they walked away again. Kane led them off to the side a bit, out of the way, then flashed Bailey a grin and lifted his plastic cup. “Race you to the bottom?”
Torturing Bailey as an adult would likely lead to a punch in the face, so Bailey was grateful that he wasn't pushing for the Ferris wheel. She also didn't want to puke on a ride, so getting buzzed, rather than wasted, was a fine idea. It took a lot to get her drunk these days anyway, and that usually only came with hard liquor. When Kane lifted his cup, Bailey laughed, wondering if he knew how adept she had gotten at downing a beer, even one this large. Bringing her cup up to her lips, she arched her brow. "Yeah, okay. Ready? Go!" As she began to drink, Bailey wondered how the hell her life had gotten to the point where she was chugging a beer with her wayward brother in the middle of a carnival. It wasn't a bad feeling, just a bit surreal... but in a good way, which was also just as weird.
By now, he knew his sister could handle her booze, so one large beer wasn’t going to put her on her ass or anything. Kane just wanted a buzz that would soften the world a bit and make him happy-dizzy on some of these rides. It might take more than one beer to get him there, but chugging would definitely speed up the process. Plus, it was fun to compete. Kane tilted his head and cup back when Bailey said go, swallowing down that bubbly burn in big gulps. It wasn’t great tasting beer, but what could one expect from a carnival? He felt some of it escape to dribble down his jaw, but Kane kept drinking until it was gone, swallowing hard as he lifted his free hand to wipe at his face. He laughed when his mouth was clear, seeing that Bailey had just barely beaten him. “Damn, Bails,” he said with a grin. “One more round, I think. Then rides. Yeah?”
Bailey lifted her arms in victory as she licked the remaining beer from her lip. This was definitely the best way to start a day at the carnival. Get a little buzzed, eat some greasy food and enjoy herself without thinking about all the bullshit. "One more round then rides," she agreed before tossing the empty cup into the nearest trash can. After Kane had paid for their drinks, Bailey took a couple of gulps before pulling back to nurse the rest. If she chugged two full cups of beer she would have to pee, probably while she was on a ride and that would probably be more embarrassing than puking. "Which ride first?" she asked, now that they were walking side by side. Her gaze fell on a sign in the distance. "Oh, fuck, we've gotta do bumper cars. That's the best kind of drinking and driving."
Kane went slower on this cup of beer too, though he wasn’t going to linger too long over it, because there was fun to be had. He barked a laugh at Bailey’s suggestion, following her gaze to the bumper car area. “Hell yeah, bumper cars, let’s do it,” he said, lifting his beer to his lips again. The sloshing around while their drinks settled in might not be the most fun, but Kane didn’t care. It was going to be a laugh either way. Then they could do a few fast rides for the adrenaline, then maybe eat and play some games -- it was almost hard to recognize what he was feeling, the excited anticipation of something good, even if it was for something as corny as a carnival. By the time they reached the bumper cars booth, Kane was draining the last of his beer, and he tossed the cup away into the nearby trash can. “You ready to get whiplash, officer?”
"So ready." Bailey finished off her beer and threw the cup away, ready to do something silly and mindless for a while. Working as a cop in this town was either really fucking depressing, or really fucking boring, and it wasn't like she had been filling her social calendar with... well, anything. But who wouldn't enjoy bumper cars? Bailey found herself enjoying them a lot more than she expected to, however. Maybe because she was already two beers in, or maybe it was because she was with her brother, someone she hadn't spent any significant time with when they were younger and probably should have been. Maybe it was a mixture of everything. He certainly didn't pull any punches in that damn bumper car though, which was okay since Bailey hadn't either. Her whole body was still convulsing with laughter by the time the ride ended and they were walking away from the tent. "It's too damn bad that doing that in a real car would likely kill you." She sighed and rubbed the nape of her neck. "Otherwise that would be my weekend hobby."
Kane hadn’t done bumper cars in years, but he found himself having a delightful time speeding around the little arena and slamming into Bailey. It was kind of therapeutic in an innocently violent way, every hard jolt sending a weird kind of rush through his body. Bailey seemed to be having fun too, which just made it better. Seeing that big smile on her face was unusual but awesome -- and Kane realized it was probably the same the other way around. It wasn’t like they grinned and laughed together very often. Kane didn’t cut her any slack, and she didn’t cut him any either, and it was kind of disappointing when the buzzer sounded that their time was up. Still grinning a bit as they walked away, he reached over to give her shoulder a playful little shove. “You need to get into demolition derby or some shit,” he suggested. “I can see you smashing the shit out of junk cars in a huge monster truck or something.” Kane stretched and rolled his shoulders, then flashed her another grin. “What next, baby sis?”
It was a little weird to hear Kane call her baby sis, because it was such a familiar nickname but Bailey was having too much fun right now to make it a Thing. Maybe it was just nice to have someone in her life she wasn't actively chasing off. Kane was as fucked up as she was, maybe more so, so maybe he understood her more than anyone else could in this town. And Bailey was willing to admit that she might need that. "Oh man, a demolition derby would be so much fun. Even going to watch one." Bailey ran her hands through her hair, wondering if she ought to wait on making him buy her another beer. "Why don't we do that whirly thing," she suggested, pointing ahead. "If that doesn't make me vomit, nothing will."
He looked where she was pointing and started heading that way, totally on board with trying the whirly thing. “You puke on my boots and you’re buying me new ones,” Kane said with a chuckle, nudging Bailey with one elbow. She’d already told him that she almost puked at the top of a ferris wheel, if this spinny ride made her puke too, he didn’t plan on letting her live it down. She was tough, for a lot of the same reasons he was tough, and he was both proud and sad about that. Even though he knew it was a pointless exercise, he sometimes wondered what kind of people they would have become if they’d been raised differently, or born into a different family altogether. At least Bailey had managed to build a more normal life than he had. She deserved that. Kane didn’t want to get maudlin though, so he tried to push all that back down into its box in his head as they approached the ride.
Bailey snorted. "Consider this verbal warning a signed waiver about your boots..." She really wasn't that sensitive to these things, but it was fun to tease him anyway. The only time she had gotten nauseous and sick at the carnival was on the ferris wheel, so they knew to avoid that. As they walked to the next ride, Bailey couldn't help but look around. People looked really happy, buying various treats or hurrying to the next game to try and win some cheap, forgettable prize. The carnival workers though... they all seemed to have the same expression on their faces. It was strange, but walking beside her brother was distracting enough that she didn't stop to really think about it. "You do know you're risking your badass image by enjoying carnival rides, right? If I can get you on the carousel, it's all over for you."
It was Kane’s turn to snort. “So far you’re the only witness who even knows me,” he pointed out, grinning crookedly. “And I already know my badass image don’t impress you any. So what, you gonna take pictures of me on a carousel horse and blackmail me? Fuckin’ rude.” He hadn’t given it any thought, but now he kind of wanted to ride the carousel just to be contrarian and prove to her that he would do it. Kane was pretty secure in his badassery, even with a fresh wound throbbing dully in his back. All of the jolting and rubbing from the bumper cars had woken up that pain, but it was worth it to actually have some fun with his sister. “You’re the one with any authority to uphold, sure you want your citizens seeing you scream on this thing?” He gestured toward the ride they were approaching, shooting her another teasing grin.
“I could blackmail you with a lot worse than carousel photos,” Bailey reminded him, “but those would definitely be the most damaging. Are you really all that scary clinging to a painted wooden horse?” It was still an amusing mental image. She sort of wished she could take a photo of it and show their mother. Although these days Bailey doubted her mom would even recognize Kane, or respond to photos with any sense of clarity. “As for me, my biggest fear is people seeing me on these rides and assuming I’m relatable and in turn, more approachable. I like it when everyone here is scared of me. I broke up a fight a few days ago and everyone ran. I’m going to pretend it was because I’m so damn intimidating.” She knew it was because she had a badge, but still.
The part about staying unapproachable made him laugh, because wasn’t that a familiar desire? Kane wanted people to stay away from him too. Most people, at least. He didn’t have a badge to flash around, but his bulk and ugly mug usually did the trick -- Bailey had gotten all the pretty genes, lucky her. Or not so lucky, if her goal was to be intimidating. “I mean, I’d be scared of you barging in, if I was in a fight,” he said, though he was sure she saw right through that. Kane knew she could hold her own, but anybody else just glancing at her probably wouldn’t. “You just gotta be stoic while you’re havin’ fun, no smiling, no laughing ... that’ll scare people.” Kane put on a sullen ‘tough’ face to demonstrate.
Bailey very rarely gave a lot of thought to her looks. She took care of herself... mostly... and she knew she was attractive enough to get a man to sleep with her, but beyond that, she was not really the kind of woman her mother had wanted her to be. Feminine and polite. Someone who didn't smoke or talk back. Those expectations had always amused Bailey, given how her mother and father were never the kind of parents to raise proper and polite children. She and Kane were both fucked up individuals with a lot of baggage neither of them knew how to confront or deal with. "So, when we're on that whirly thing and my hair is whipping in my face, I should just stand there like this?" She did her best stoic, slightly bitchy face to show Kane. "Maybe raise up both middle fingers? Fuck you, fun!"
That cracked him up, and Kane bent over laughing, one hand pressed against his stomach while the other gripped Bailey’s forearm. Gods, it felt so good to laugh like that, even if some of it came from the beers they’d chugged. Kane didn’t care, it was good and he needed to grab the good wherever he could find it. “Ah shit,” he said as he straightened up, swiping at his watering eyes. “Yup, that’s it. Scary as fuck.” His back throbbed and his face hurt a bit from all the grinning, but he couldn’t help it. Kane had long since given up caring at all about their parents’ expectations, but he was glad that his sister had become her own indelicate person. Maybe they still struggled to understand each other and connect, but he was finding more and more that he actually liked her. “Bet I can hold that face longer than you,” he teased, bouncing his brows at her. “Wanna see who can hold up middle fingers the longest?”
Bailey felt a sense of pride that she was able to make Kane laugh, because she was sure it was a difficult thing for anyone to do. Was this what functional, normal siblings did? There might have still been a squirmy sense of uncertainty and discomfort in the pit of her stomach, but Bailey was having too much fun right now to let the past get in the way of it. They got into line at the ride, which thankfully was moving along. "I will take that bet," Bailey said with an air of confidence. "Winner buys the next beer and takes home the title of scariest asshole?"
In spite of her badge and grumpy attitude, Kane was pretty sure he had Bailey beat in that department, but he wasn’t going to say so. Things were light and they were having fun -- which was probably weird for two people competing for ‘scariest asshole’ -- and he didn’t want to ruin it with reality. “You got a deal,” Kane agreed, amused, and he nudged her with his elbow as a sort of handshake. The line did keep moving at a pretty good pace, and before too long they were climbing onto the ride and finding their spots. Kane’s insides twisted in that fun way as the ride began to spin, and he spread his legs a bit to brace himself as he kept his expression stony and lifted both middle fingers.
Bailey absolutely knew Kane was the scarier asshole, for so many reasons, but it wasn't like this conversation was all that serious. But the bet was serious so Bailey did her best to tamper down on any amusement she still felt, bringing up her own hands to flip the double bird just like Kane. The ride was definitely a bit disorienting and at one point she reached over to smack Kane's hand to try and mess him up. Keeping her bitch face on was also difficult, because the motion of the ride and the adrenaline it produced kept making her shout with laughter. It was really a big pain in the ass, but at least it was fun. If she had to buy the next round, she would. But she was sure she could get Kane on another ride with a similar bet later.
Kane had been doing pretty good until Bailey slapped at his hands, then he had to laugh. The people across the ride from them probably thought they were crazy and flipping them off for no reason, but whatever, Kane didn’t care. He was having fun with his sister. For a second, as they were spinning around mercilessly, he thought he spotted a familiar face that took all the laughter right out of him ... but when Kane blinked and looked again, it was gone. It surprised him enough to make him drop his birds and grab the safety rail for balance though, which meant he lost. By the time the ride came to a stop, Kane had told himself that he hadn’t actually seen anything, though he wasn’t quite believing it. “Looks like I owe you another round,” he said to Bailey, pushing a smile forward.
Bailey had enough fun that she honestly wasn't thinking about the bet when the ride finally stopped, but then Kane was offering to buy another round and she nodded, running her hands through her hair to try and tame it a bit. "I sort of lost track after the first thirty seconds," she admitted, "but I'm not going to say no to another beer." He was smiling but Bailey was a perceptive enough cop that she noted the look in his eyes as anything but genuinely amused. "You okay? You're not going to get sick, are you?"
“Naw, fuck that,” Kane muttered as he looked around to try and locate the nearest drink stall. “Takes more than that to make me puke. Just uh, thought I saw somebody I know.” He spotted a ‘BEER’ sign and started in that direction, suddenly full of a need for more alcohol. He knew there was no way he could’ve seen what he thought he saw, it just had to be his mind playing shitty tricks on him while he subjected it to dizzying g forces.
Kane stepped into the short beverage line with Bailey, his gaze still roaming here and there. As the person in front of them moved away with their drinks, Kane happened to glance off to his right and his eyes locked onto another familiar face that made all of his insides twist up into knots. It was Adrian Moretti, standing in line at one of the nearby food vendors, with a woman and another man holding hands. They were all talking, and as Kane watched for a few heartbeats, something made Adrian laugh. It lit his face up in a way that Kane had never witnessed, and he instantly knew he never would never be the source of that kind of smile. There was a sudden pain in his chest as a very surreal feeling washed over him, and he forced his attention back to the man inside the drinks booth. “Uh, a large beer and ... you got anything stronger?” he asked, reaching for his wallet with a small tremor in his hand. The man confirmed they did, a signature cocktail called The Merry Maker, so Kane ordered two and paid as quickly as possible.
It was weird to think that Kane knew other people in town, but of course he did. She knew people too. But she had been viewing Kane as sort of this... isolated loner who only came outside to see her or hunt things. Or get into trouble with Adrian Moretti, of course. But that was really the last thing on her mind. Bailey eyed Kane as he ordered their drinks - two for himself - noticing the subtle change in his demeanor. He definitely wasn't smiling anymore and there was a tension in his body language that she recognized. "What's going on?" she asked casually enough, thanking the man inside the booth when he handed her the plastic cup of beer.
Instead of answering, Kane grabbed both of the mixed drinks and hastily shuffled away from the booth, in the opposite direction as the Morettis. Everything in him wanted to look back again, some pathetic urge to catch Adrian’s attention burning in his gut. It was so stupid -- for one, Kane had seen him less than twenty four hours ago, he shouldn’t want to see him again. For two, Adrian was obviously with his family, and Kane had to steer clear of them, they’d agreed. It was just jarring to see him in this extremely different setting, considering the night they’d just had together ... and considering who else Kane had thought he’d seen. He tipped one cup up and drained it all in a couple of gulps, glad it wasn’t some syrupy sweet shit. The citrus tasted good, and the rum in it seemed decent, the burn in his throat serving to ground him a bit. “Nothing, s’fine,” he finally said to Bailey, giving her a fleeting glance. “Where we goin’ next?”
Bailey followed, drinking her beer even though she was acutely aware now of the shift in Kane's mood. Maybe the ride had made him feel sick and he just didn't want to admit it. Or maybe that person he thought he saw on the ride was someone who invoked bad memories in him, even if it hadn't been who he thought. His answer was a cop-out and they both knew it but Bailey had no idea if it was worth pressing him or not. He might get pissy, the way she would if someone kept badgering her to talk. "Let's just walk around and see what there is until we're finished with these," she said, lifting her cup. "If I chug this one I won't be going on any more rides."
Walking was good, as long as they were walking away from the man he was currently obsessed with. Kane had already embarrassed himself enough in front of Bailey when it came to Adrian, he didn’t want to tempt fate anymore on that ... so why did he suddenly want to tell her everything? There was a bad sensation expanding in his chest, emotions he didn’t want to feel bubbling up quickly to the surface. He walked silently for a few minutes, sipping his second rum drink and trying to push it all back down where it belonged, but it didn’t want to go back in the box. Words bottlenecked in his throat instead, his tongue wanting to babble about how he could never make anybody happy, all he was good for was fucking and killing, he should’ve been the one to die back in the goddamn sandbox, everybody around him would’ve been better off. Kane was feeling less and less in control of himself by the minute, and he couldn’t manage to stop his hand as he grabbed Bailey’s arm and pulled her off to the side. Once they were out of the flow of traffic, he wet his lips and looked at her, his brow furrowed. “I gotta ... I gotta tell you somethin’,” Kane muttered.
Bailey felt content enough to walk in silence, her gaze roaming around the area and the familiar faces they passed by. A few people even smiled and waved at her. Bailey was a private person but it was still kind of nice. Her brother had definitely lost some of the light-heartedness from earlier but she was still surprised when he took her by the arm and led her away from the crowd. Studying his face, Bailey took another sip of beer to try and calm the sudden nerves in her stomach when he spoke. Nothing good ever came after something like I gotta tell you something. "Okay, what do you have to tell me?" Bailey asked finally, keeping her voice as calm as her expression, despite the sudden discomfort in her gut.
Even as he opened his mouth, Kane knew it was stupid to talk about this with Bailey ever, much less when they’d been having such a rare good time together. He was fucking up their day and he knew it, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. His heart was pounding with fear and he hadn’t let go of his sister’s arm yet. What if she got all disgusted with him and pulled away? She looked totally neutral and fine, but Kane knew that was probably just her Cop Face. “I’m bisexual,” he blurted, a statement he’d never really made out loud to anyone so bluntly. “And I’ve been with all kinda people -- women, men, all in between -- but I only ... I was only in love once, and it was with a man. Back when I was in the Corps. His name was AJ, AJ Bacci. We were in the same unit, and he -- I, uh ... I loved him, and he loved me for some godforsaken reason I never understood. But he died, he was killed in combat -- and it wasn’t me, Bails, I didn’t even know until later. I didn’t get to reap him, it wasn’t me, I didn’t get to say goodbye, and that was my one shot, you know? Nobody’s ever gonna love me again, and I think I just -- I’m pretty sure I just saw him on that ride, just for like, a second. I swear it was him. But he’s gone so it couldn’t have been, right?” Once they started to flow, Kane’s words got faster and more desperate, emotion that was impossible to resist seeping in. He had to stop for a heaving breath, still clinging to Bailey’s arm.
Honestly, she was expecting something bad. Something like when she stumbled upon him in front of the corpses of three children and discovered what he was. But when he told her he was bisexual, she waited for more, for the one thing that would make her recoil. But it didn't come. Instead, he told her about how he had been in love - which was honestly more shocking than his sexuality was - and how the man had been killed. Bailey frowned, studying her brother's expression intently. The answer as to why he was telling her all of this came in the form of the ride, and it suddenly explained the shift in his mood. It was a lot to take in and Bailey was silent for a moment as she tried to digest it all with the alcohol she had been drinking. "I think..." she began slowly, "... that this town is fucked up enough that it's possible you did see him, even if he was just a memory. Would that really be a bad thing, Kane?"
“Yes,” Kane said, immediate and emphatic. “I don’t want to remember, I’ve spent two decades trying not to remember. Remembering too much always makes me want to drive my car off a bridge. And he’d better not be fucking haunting me now -- he never even knew about this fucking hellhole, he’d better have gone into the goddamn light.” There was no way for Kane to be sure since he hadn’t been the one to reap the man, a regretful cosmic accident that had weighed heavy on him for years, like he should have been able to control it and be there. He was good at compartmentalizing, and even though it had taken him a while, now he sometimes went months without thinking about AJ. Those memories crept in more often during cold dark winters when he was alone more often ... but now it was June and warm and he’d been having fun and now this? He looked around them again, his eyes darting over all the faces flowing past them, like he might spot AJ again, strolling along like he hadn’t been dead for the past twenty years. Kane knew he was kind of losing his shit and he didn’t want to be, but he couldn’t get a hold of it now. He didn’t even feel that drunk, just like he wanted to keep word-vomiting at Bailey. “Another fucking Italian,” he muttered. “Always fuckin’ me up.”
Bailey couldn't exactly talk him down from the ledge, well aware that she wasn't exactly swimming in a pool of emotional health either. Avoidance was always easier, however they were able to achieve it. Bailey lifted her hand up to his arm to calm him. "It could have just been someone who looked like him. Drinking, a ridiculously fast ride... it was probably just in your head, Kane. We can't always control our fucking brains." Despite everything, Bailey was still trying to wrap her mind around the fact that Kane had been in love. She could only imagine how devastating it must have been to lose someone so violently. Well aware that she wasn't some beacon of light and comfort, Bailey was going to suggest another drink when it occurred to her that he mentioned another Italian. Asking was on the tip of her tongue when a very Italian surname surfaced in her mind. Bailey dropped her hand and eyed him with a furrowed brow. "Speaking of control... you're not talking about Moretti, are you?"
Kane didn’t have the words to describe how it had felt to lose AJ. First it had been like someone ripped the lungs out of his chest -- he didn’t think he’d taken a deep breath for days after he’d gotten the news, moving around and fulfilling his duties in a state of numb shock. When the pain had settled in, he’d had to repress it. The military had grown more inclusive over the years, but in those days outing himself with as much grief as he’d truly felt would’ve ended his career. Kane couldn’t risk being sent back home to his father, and he’d been too young and lost to see any other options. So he’d started smothering that grief and had never really stopped. Kane had no idea why it was coming out now, especially to his sister, but he felt weird and unsettled. His anxiety spiked when she caught his verbal slip up, and his expression got even more distressed. “It’s not my fault,” was the first thing that came out of his mouth. “I didn’t go looking for him, I swear to God. I been tryin’ to stay away and he just keeps ... turning up. At Dragonfly, at the hospital -- he took my file, he didn’t have to treat me.”
Bailey blinked and shook her head, holding her hand up now to quiet him. "Wait, hold up. The hospital? What were you doing at the hospital? When? Are you seriously spending time with this guy?" It was so weird to be having this conversation now, with kids running past, screaming happily with balloons in their hands, the smell of roasted peanuts wafting by and some weird ass circus music somewhere in the distance. But all Bailey could do was stare at her brother and try to smother the worry that was quickly rising from her gut. Moretti had nearly killed Kane once and then left him drugged in his car another time. Was this guy stalking Kane now? Was it something Bailey would have to take care of?
Goddammit, what was wrong with him? Kane hadn’t planned on telling Bailey anything about developments with Adrian for a good long while, if ever. But the words just kept tumbling out of him like he was possessed by a truth demon or some shit. He waved a hand between them like he could bat the question away, but his mouth was already moving. “It was nothing, it’s fine, just an ER visit for stitches in a spot I couldn’t reach. Last night. And Adrian fucking Moretti is a nurse again, I had no idea he was working. He stitched me up, and then I took him home with me once his shift was over.” Kane winced and pressed his free hand against his eyes. “What the fuck -- something is wrong with me, Bailey, because I wasn’t gonna tell you that,” he muttered, instantly regretting saying he wasn’t going to tell her out loud. Fuck! “It’s not -- there’s no more violence, I promise, okay? It’s something else now, and I can’t -- he kissed me first, it’s not my fault!”
Stitches. Bailey couldn't decide if she wanted to interrogate him about getting hurt bad enough to need stitches - without calling her - or taking Adrian Moretti home. She stared at him, her lips parted and eyes wide. It wasn't even the kissing part that was digging uncomfortably into her chest because she honestly didn't care if her brother was bisexual. Attraction was attraction, wasn't it? But it was Adrian Moretti, who had almost killed Kane before. It was all kinds of fucked up and surely Kane knew that too. "You're fucking unbelievable," Bailey said, looking for the nearest trash can to throw her beer in. "This guy tried to kill you. He drugged you and you told me it was done, and now you're taking him home with you? Are you fucking kidding me right now?"
Kane followed her to the nearby trash bin, tossing the rest of his Merry Maker in with Bailey’s beer -- but not before he took another swig of it. He was feeling the need for more alcohol, but he probably ought to wait until he was home alone. “I know, I know it’s fucking stupid,” he said, an edge of desperation in his tone. Now that the cat was out of the bag, he felt like he had to make her understand, or everything would just end up worse than it already was. “I thought it was done, I really did, I promise. He only tried to kill me because I killed him first, but it didn’t take because of what he is but --” Kane made a frustrated noise and tried to steer himself back on track, what the fuck was going on with him? “All the bad shit was my fault, he could’ve killed me and he didn’t, he’s not a monster, not for real. And then last week I happened to pick him up from Dragonfly, somebody called a car for him, and things happened and then he was there at the hospital last night ... I know you think I’m an idiot and you’re probably right, but we’re not trying to hurt each other now, okay? I don’t want you to worry.”
Bailey huffed out an incredulous sound, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket. Had they really been laughing and having fun only twenty minutes ago? Why did he have to tell her all of this? He had to know it would upset her, but maybe it was just in the Owen genes nature to ruin any good thing. "I do think you're an idiot," Bailey said, once her gaze shifted back to his face. "You sound like an abused woman justifying it. Forgive me for not swooning over your new love story, Kane. It's just that I can still smell all of the blood gushing from your leg when I thought you were going to bleed to death before I could get you to the hospital. But, you know, you tried to kill him first, so it's all good. I'm glad he's a nurse, because you can start calling him every time you fuck yourself up." Bailey shook her head, the sight and smells of the carnival starting to make her feel nauseous. Now she just wanted to leave and go to the Porch and get a real drink. Without another word she started walking back toward where they came from, not really caring that she would have to walk back to the station to get to her car. This whole night was fucked anyway.
Bailey’s words stung because Kane knew that night had been traumatic for both of them. All of them, really. Bailey had just gotten to miss the part where Kane strangled Adrian to death with his bare hands. He’d done more than try to kill him. It felt very weird to have it called a ‘love story,’ because Kane knew there was no actual love involved in any of this. They were just two very damaged, lonely men finding solace in each other’s bodies and secrets, that was all. Kane felt compelled to tell Bailey that, but she was walking away in a fashion that clearly said she was done listening to him, and he wasn’t invited to join her. “I’m sorry, I’m a fuckup,” he called to her back, but the words sounded weak even to him. It was true, he was sorry for so many things, but Kane knew by now that didn’t actually help anything. He scrubbed his hands over his face, aimed a kick at the metal trash bin, then turned to stalk off in the other direction. He would take a lap around the stupid carnival to give his sister some distance, then take his stupid ass home.