Who: Silas and Addie When: Friday morning, June 22nd Where: The Rayner House Status: Complete
It was early when Addie came home from Nick’s. She told him she had a body being transferred to the home that morning so it would be an early work day for her. Of course she felt bad for lying but she really just needed time to be alone and sort of rewire her brain from everything she had said the night before. Nick hadn’t made her feel stupid about anything, quite the opposite really, but it was hard to completely shake the embarrassment.
As soon as she walked into the house, she headed for the coffee machine in the kitchen, eager to get a cup of caffeine and then go upstairs to shower before starting her day. She found her brother at the kitchen table and Addie blew a breath from her lips as she grabbed a cup from the cabinet. Addie was still disheveled from rolling out of bed that morning, her eyeliner a bit smudged.
“Dad still sleeping?” she asked, shoving the coffee cup beneath the keurig to get a cup started.
"He just went to sleep," Silas said as he studied her over his cup of coffee. She normally looked so refreshed when she came home from Nick, especially on a morning like this one where they had nothing on their schedule except routine things that weren't time sensitive. He knew her well enough to pick up that something was amiss but in such a way where he wasn't so sure what it was. Maybe she just slept badly.
"I think he's retired, even if he doesn't say as much," he added with some amusement. "He was up all night watching old movies, we're the grownups in the house now." Silas however was feeling pretty fresh this morning . He never really thought of himself as a morning person but routine had made him decent at pretending at least. He'd woken up well over an hour ago, showered and had a nice morning chat with Edgar while he was still awake. It was good that someone in the house was up and ready in case something came up. There was too much paperwork involved with transferring bodies for one to come as a surprise but that didn't mean other things didn't pop up unexpectedly.
"That's probably for the best," Addie said, fixing her coffee to her taste before carrying it to sit down at the table. "I mean, it wasn't too long ago that he woke up from a coma. He needs rest... he needs to... enjoy life now, instead of worrying about this place. He knows we can handle it." She still wasn't willing to think about Silas leaving again. Their dad was getting better, but Elijah was still missing and honestly, if their dad was done with the business, Addie was hoping Silas would stay and run it with her. She just hadn't had the courage to ask him yet. Sipping her coffee, Addie eyed her brother. "I proposed to Nick last night," she blurted out, even as she reacted to the hot coffee burning her tongue. "Ow! Dang it. It was hypothetical, but also not... the proposal. I don't know what I was thinking."
Silas was nodding along but that last admission, interrupted as it was, made him go wide eyed and without thinking about it, he brought his hand up to cover his mouth. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, just stared at her and wondered what the hell 'hypothetical but not' actually meant. "I don't know what you were thinking either," he said and god, how long had they been dating? Five months? Six? "What... did he say? What did you say?" Oh god he hoped she hadn't scared Nick off, he was so wonderful and Silas got along with him so well too, he wasn't so sure he'd stop talking to him even if he and Addie broke up.
She grimaced at Silas's response, though she had already fully expected it. "I just said... you know, if I asked him to marry me, would he say yes? And he said no... well, not no. He said he wasn't ready to talk about that yet... and that if he ever got married, he'd want to marry me and he wanted to be with me indefinitely and all that. He was really sweet about it." Addie paused but barrelled on before Silas could speak, her eyes thoughtful. "I guess indefinitely is a good word, right? I mean, it means forever until something changes… which actually might be a good way to be like... no, I don't want to commit to you legally, but we'll have fun until the shit hits the fan! Do you think that's what he meant? Maybe he never wants to get married, maybe that's why he said if he did it. If. I know he loves me, but what if it’s the age thing? What if that's like... always going to be a problem? I don't think it's a problem now, but what if he thinks it’s a problem?" Addie blew a long breath from her lips and wrapped both hands around her coffee mug for warmth. "Did I really screw all of this up? Or do you think it's okay? I mean, I was drinking, so maybe he'll just blow it off."
"Or maybe you've only been seeing each other for a few months and marriage isn't quite on the table yet," Silas said with a pained expression, his hand still pressed to his mouth and he felt he could leave it there for the entire conversation, only moving it slightly when he spoke. He even had his arm under his elbow for support for that 'indefinite' amount of time. Good god what had she been thinking? Nick was a really open minded guy but marriage suggested so many other things. Major commitment, kids even. "Have you even talked about living together? Did you talk at all about it this morning? Sober?" Now he hoped she hadn't just snuck out of there while Nick was still sleeping. Most of her concerns didn't seem terribly valid but Silas couldn't tell her with any certainty that she hadn't screwed this up. Romance was so finicky and fragile, it was weirdly easy to scare people off.
"Six months," Addie pointed out with a frown. That was half a year! Not a few months. But it wasn't something to get tangled up in. "Besides, don't they say when you know, you know? And I know. Nick's forty-one years old now. Though I guess men can do whatever they, for however long. They don't have a uterus ready to explode at a certain age." She sipped her coffee, wishing Silas would be more comforting, more supportive of her stupid decision. But at the same time, she was grateful for his honesty, even if she didn't like it all the time. "We didn't talk about it this morning, 'cause last night I asked if we could just forget about it. I told him I had to get home to deal with a new cadaver. Things felt normal. Like I said, Nick was super nice about it and it didn't seem like he was put off. I'm sure it's all okay. I can wait." She said it with confidence and a firm nod, sounding more like she was trying to convince herself than Silas. "There's a schedule to follow, I guess. I can do that. It'll be fine. He did ask if I ever thought about moving out of the house, but... I don't know. I sort of want him to move in here. Is that weird? Should I ask him?"
Silas still didn't drop his hand just yet, his eyebrows just squeezing tighter together as his sister talked. "Okay," he said when he finally did, in fact kind of forcing himself to do that to put on a brave face for her. It didn't go all that well. "I don't think you've reached the uterus exploding age just yet, you know that. Also, maybe don't ask him just yet. You just dropped a bomb. A sparkly glitter bomb, but still a bomb." Maybe it was weird, but he could easily imagine Nick moving in. The house was big and he got along with both Silas and Edgar fantastically so why the hell not? Maybe Nick would feel weird moving in with Addie's brother and father but Silas knew he'd be more than welcome at the Rayner house. He also found it hard to imagine Addie moving out and the thought alone gave him a weird, uncomfortable pang. It made sense of course. If she did marry Nick they might get their own place and all that normal stuff - those things just didn't feel that normal to them. "Let it rest for a few days. If you have to bring it up, maybe just tell him you're not in a rush."
"Well, he's in his forties. I know guys can have kids until they die but maybe he'll get to a point where he doesn't want to have kids at his age, you know?" Addie blew a breath from between her lips. "I'm overthinking this. I'll just leave it for now. I did ask him to pretend it never happened, and if he's going to pretend it never happened then I should pretend it never happened too." She wasn't in a rush, was she? She was romanticizing everything. Or she was just scared he might suddenly change his mind about her and ditch out, even though Addie never got that feeling from Nick. Damn alcohol. Damn all the alcohol! She sighed and then smiled over at her brother. "I'm glad you're here. I really missed you when you were in Bangor."
"It is weirdly nice to be back," Silas admitted. "Guess you can't choose which places really feel like home." It was probably true to his character that his place of home was this weird ass town. "I missed you too, you and dad." They had always been a close knit family and after losing two of their own, that bond had only strengthened. Silas supposed one way of dealing with it all could have been to withdraw from Addie and Edgar, steel himself from feeling that sort of pain again, but they had all picked the opposite direction of that and he was glad for it. "But yeah, your boyfriend isn't getting any younger but guys have kids at any age, I don't think that's honestly a concern. You want to be able to keep up with them, if you're not a shitty dad that is. But Nick is in great shape, I doubt that's a concern either. Give him at least another six months, okay?" He smirked, nudging Addie's foot under the table.
Addie hoped that meant Silas planned on staying. Now that he was home, she was more than willing to lock herself around his legs and physically keep him here if she had to. She rolled her eyes when he suggested another six months before poking her tongue out from between her lips. "Fine, six more months. I should probably watch what I drink so I don't impulsively propose again. We did talk about getting a dog though! Eventually, when we move in together." She smirked and brought her coffee up to her lips again. "We both agreed you're a cat person though. You ought to have at least three by now."
"If I was a pet person, it'd be a cat, yes," Silas tittered. He'd long since dismissed the idea of any sorts of pets because he didn't like the responsibility and it had felt far too risky with someone like Elijah in the house. There was no telling whether he'd have liked the cat or eaten it had they met. In Portland it hadn't even occurred to him to get a pet since he was hardly ever at home. "They are so nice though, a cat purring is one of most calming things I've ever felt." He hummed contently at the thought, then shook it off and narrowed his eyes at Addie. "You derailed the conversation. Good job. He liked the idea of you guys moving in together? That's a good sign at least. And yeah, the two of you are absolutely dog people."
Addie grinned across the table at her brother, pleased that she had managed to distract him even for a brief moment. She was still feeling the sting of embarrassment from the night before, but it had lessened in intensity. Silas was right. She needed to slow down. Never mind that this town had a habit of taking people from her. She was just paranoid and scared that it would take Nick too. But things were going well and no, she didn't want to ruin it by pushing too hard for things that would come to her in time. "Yeah, he seemed to like the idea. I mean, it was more like... we'll get a dog when we live together, kind of thing." Addie paused, her brows furrowing together thoughtfully. "Wait... did we have that conversation? Maybe it was just in my head. I can't really remember. I think he asked if I would be living here forever, in the funeral home... which, honestly... I don't think of it that way, right? It's home." She exhaled slowly. "I don't know. Maybe next time I need to have these conversations sober."
Silas felt a little tug inside at the mere thought of Addie moving out of the funeral home. It was easy to imagine Nick moving in, sure, they'd just have to work around the weird room in the basement that locked from the outside, blame it on superstition or something. But Addie moving out? Silas had a brief flash of himself living in this house all alone as a sad old man and it was a bit like a punch in the gut. It was stupid to think about though, he couldn't know what the future would bring for either of them. "It's home," he agreed. "And you should only talk about frivolous stuff when you're drunk from now on." He knew better than to think that was possible, a stiff drink tended to make people dive in deep and let out things they kept bottled up otherwise. It could be wonderful and it could be horrific. "Nick is great though, I'm sure he understands the difference between drunk chatter and a serious, sober conversation." He hoped so at least and Nick knew what Addie was like and he loved her as she was. If this scared him off then he'd been living some delusion all this time.
"I know." Addie groaned. "But when you're drunk it's not like you have a switch in your brain that goes on and dims all the crazy stuff! It enhances the crazy stuff! But I think if we make it past this, we'll be totally fine." She kept saying that. Fine. "Nick is great. He's amazing. If he hasn't run yet, I don't think last night would do the trick. Like I said, he was really sweet about it. It's fi-... it's good." She smiled again. "Now we just have to get you a man. A hot one. There're so many hot guys in this town just waiting for you to walk into their lives."
Silas rolled his eyes. "Turning this back on me, hm?" he murmured, cocking a brow at his sister. "I think most of the guys in town are heterosexual and I'm oh so picky, you know this." There were plenty of guys in town he had been interested in at some point but he seemed doomed to be attracted to the unavailable ones. "I'll end up an old spinster with twenty cats, living all by myself in a funeral home. The quirky uncle to your future babies." He feigned a sigh, knowing just how dramatic that sounded, but sometimes he worried it was true, that he was doomed to be alone, especially now that he was back home. "Nick's future babies," he added a moment later. "I have every confidence you guys are endgame."
"There are a ton of non-heterosexual guys here!" Addie protested. "And I mean, you could probably turn a straight guy gay... it happens all the time in porn." She sipped her coffee again, drawing one foot up to the edge of her chair. She was feeling much better talking to Silas, even if there was lingering embarrassment still floating about in her chest. It would fade eventually, and things would go back to normal. She couldn't help but smile at the thought of having Nick's baby - someday. Like Silas said, they had time. And Nick hadn't flat out said no to any of it. "You'll be quirky and you'll have twenty cats, but you'll also be happy and in love. I have every confidence of that. You just have to... not be so... picky."
Silas chortled at that as he got up to rinse his now empty coffee cup, wincing a little at the thought of dating a typical heterosexual guy. Sure there were plenty of great ones but... But. "Those straight guys in porn are never straight," he told her and grinned playfully. "And gay guys are superior anyway." He didn't think he could ever date a guy who didn't have a feminine streak of some kind and he always got along so much better with women it sometimes made him feel like a terrible homosexual. "Though you did snag yourself a good one. Unless he breaks your heart. Then he'll suck." He leaned back against the counter after putting the cup away, gesturing at the coffee maker. "You want some more? You look like you could use more caffeine."
Addie's brows rose at the revelation that the straight guys in gay porn were gay too. "Well... that's just disappointing," Addie said with a wrinkle of her nose. But then she sighed softly and smiled. Nick was a good one. A great one even. And she wasn't worried about him breaking her heart. He was The One, she was sure of it. "I think I'll have another cup," she said, standing and walking over to the coffee pot. "I need to shower but then I've got a lot to do downstairs. Do you want to take dad to dinner tonight? We could go to Dino's or something. Get him out of this place for a few hours."
"Sounds like a plan," Silas said and tried to shake the thought of straight boys in porn, it was not something he needed to have on his mind when going into the day - more of a night business really. There were gay-for-pay guys out there, he just wasn't so sure they were all the way straight and it wasn't really to his taste. The tacky 'oh no, but I'm straight' acted stuff was just funny, especially when the guys involved were absolutely flaming. But no, he wasn't going to dwell on porn, damn his sister for bringing that up. "Dinner tonight," he said firmly. "I'm heading to the hospital morgue in a couple of hours, I might join you downstairs before I go."
"Okay!" Addie was always happy when anyone joined her downstairs. Without Elijah around it was... strange. Thinking of her other brother, Addie got a pang in her chest, both from worry and fear because she had no idea where he was, or what he was doing. Dumping plenty of sugar into her coffee, Addie gave it a stir with her spoon before flashing her brother a bright I'm so totally fine smile before heading for the doorway to head for the stairs. "Also, don't tell dad what I did last night!" She called over her shoulder. "We're all going to pretend it never happened, okay?"
"That what happened?" Silas called back dutifully, willing to play along. Addie didn't need to have her nose rubbed in her mistakes and hopefully it wouldn't really affect anything anyway. Silas was certainly not going to make her feel worse about it, though he probably hadn't helped with his initial shocked reaction. He smiled at her retreating back, then shook his head to himself. It was so tempting to talk to Nick and find out if anything needed fixing but that wasn't his place - it'd make things worse if anything and he knew to stay the hell out of other people's business. So he finished tidying up before he went downstairs, already thinking of other things he wanted to talk to Addie about - something that didn't involve Nick and marriage or other things that would make her cringe at herself.