Sage Monroe (turnitup) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2021-09-29 21:43:00 |
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Entry tags: | #june 2018, jacob, jacob x sage, sage |
Who: Sage and Jacob
Where: Jacob & Connor's place
When: Late-morning, Tuesday, June 19
Status: Complete, Part 1
Sage groaned as he rolled over in bed and a sliver of morning light fell across his eyes, forcing him awake. His head was pounding, the consequence of last night’s drinking binge, and he wanted nothing more than to cover his head with his pillow and continue to sleep it off. But his tongue felt dry and his bladder full, so after tossing and turning for a good ten minutes, he stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom. Memories of the night prior began to come back to him as he went about his morning routine, adding in a glass of water and a couple of painkillers, and by the time he climbed back in bed his head was spinning from the impact of it all. “Fuck,” he whined, hiding himself beneath the covers as his body flushed with shame and embarrassment. What the hell had come over him? Even drunk and high, he’d never done something that stupid before, so being wasted wasn’t even a good excuse. He was lucky he’d walked away with barely a slap on the wrist. No, not even that. A date. A date and a kiss.
When he was sure his head was no longer going to explode, Sage reached for his phone and stared at it for a solid minute before thumbing out a text to Jacob. fucked up yesterday. bad. need out of the house. U busy? He had a strong desire to grab a bottle and drown his worries, but he’d been serious when he’d told Marsh he had no desire to develop a habit and that extended to more than just drugs. A temporary escape was one thing, but drinking before noon to chase away a hangover was another. There were better ways to cope if his friends were willing to put up with him.
Jacob was munching on some cereal and watching a video on his phone when the message came through so he saw it immediately. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't constantly worried about Sage these days. Connor managed to distract him plenty of times but he also worked a lot which meant more time to worry. He wasn't really surprised to get that kind of a text from his friend and immediately had to calm himself down by noting that Sage was at home so it couldn't be too bad. He wasn't at the hospital, he wasn't at the station, he wanted out of the house. Jacob quickly thumbed back a simple reply. Come on over! Even if he had been busy he'd make time for Sage, he'd just been through hell and even if he was home the hell didn't seem to have stopped just yet. God he hoped Sage was exaggerating and whatever he'd done to 'fuck up' was only a big deal in his head.
Sage had tried to hide the worst of what he was going through from his friends exactly so they wouldn’t worry about him all the time, so it didn’t occur to him that sending a text like that might freak Jacob out. If it had, he would have toned it down a bit, especially since on a scale of one to ‘trapped in a shadow world’, this was probably no more than a five. But compared to all other attempt to hit on hot guys? This felt pretty epic. I’ll be right over. He sent a quick text back, then pulled on his clothes before heading out the door. His hair was a wreck, but nothing a hat couldn’t handle. Sage jumped in the car and was knocking on Jacob’s door not ten minutes later, his head still pounding from the hangover. Maybe he should have eaten something first.
Jacob didn't leave him waiting, rushing to the front door and taking in the awful sight of Sage. He wanted to put him in the shower, that was his absolute first reaction but he hugged him anyway before pulling him inside. "Oh my God, you look like shit," he murmured, cupping Sage's cheek and frowning at him like a worried mother. His breath was awful too and Jacob thought about checking if they still had an unused toothbrush but that could wait, he was more concerned about whatever was going on with Sage. "Kitchen," he instructed as he tugged Sage with him into the house. "I'm making you some soup or something, shit. What happened to you?"
“I feel like shit,” Sage mumbled, scratching at his cheek. He needed to shave. He needed a fucking shower. But more than anything, he wanted to talk to his friend and he didn’t think Jacob was going to judge him for prioritizing his mental state over his physical. “Bread would be good. Even just toast. You don’t have to cook for me,” he said, letting Jacob tug him along. He wouldn’t turn down food, he knew he needed it, but he didn’t want Jacob to make a fuss over him. “I just… I dunno. Woke up yesterday and decided I would drink myself stupid,” he cringed, wishing he had a better excuse for his behavior. But there was none. He’d just felt the impulse and given in. “That’s how it started anyways.”
Jacob steered him toward the kitchen table and didn't leave his side until he had him sitting down, then he busied himself with finding some bread and toppings, starting by pouring Sage some soda. Taking care of people could come so naturally and these days, when he was actually happier and in love, it came even easier than before. "Connor said a lot of people were acting crazy yesterday," he said and while Connor hadn't given him a whole lot of specifics, what little he'd told him had sounded worrying. "I'm just glad you're okay." And not in the hospital with a ruptured stomach or alcohol poisoning. "Whatever you did, I'm sure it's not beyond fixing."
“Yeah, that’s what Marsh said,” Sage said, taking a seat, elbows on the table, face in his hands. He didn’t remember every single word that had passed between them, but certain things stood out and that was one of them. Probably because it was why he hadn’t called the cops. Sage almost wished he’d blacked out and forgotten it all, but then he wouldn’t remember how it ended and that seemed to be the silver lining of the night. “I broke into his clinic. And he caught me. I mean, I didn’t know it was his clinic, but that’s besides the point. I’m lucky it was. Or unlucky. I can’t decide.” He couldn’t imagine there were worse ways to make a worse second impression, which sucked because he knew his first wasn’t so hot either. And yet he had a date. Maybe. He had to text him first. It was possible that Marsh woke up this morning and realized his own lapse in judgement as well.
Jacob couldn't remember who Marsh was but he listened with a fretful look as Sage told him the very disjointed story. "He's not pressing charges?" he asked and he couldn't imagine what was lucky about the situation otherwise. The last thing Sage needed right now was legal trouble on top of everything else. They were always on thin ice with some of the people in town and Jacob knew well that many of them would love to see them go down for anything at all. A part of him wanted to shake Sage for taking such a stupid chance but he was also a little baffled as to why he'd do it in the first place. Baffled, but also not. It sounded self destructive, which was exactly what Jacob was so afraid would happen.
“No,” Sage said with a shake of his head. “I mean, I didn’t technically break in. The door was unlocked. So I guess that’s trespassing. And I didn’t steal anything.” But he’d been planning to. Or trying to. Sage knew he would’ve been hit with just about everything if Marsh had called it in, and being wasted wouldn’t have helped anything. The only thing that might’ve saved him was if he’d closed his eyes and run, which would’ve been just as insane as it sounded. “It was just so fucking stupid,” he muttered, pressing his palms into his eyes. He heaved a sigh, then dropped his hands to look at Jacob. “And I’m supposed to text him. Because we have a date. What do I even say? Sorry, I’m a train wreck. Can I buy you a drink? Wait, no, because I promised him I’d be sober. And clean. Because he probably thinks I’m a junkie now.”
Jacob let out an incredulous laughter. "Wait, what?" he said pointedly, exaggerating the bewilderment he was feeling. "You have a date?" There was a flicker of recognition as he thought about it and his eyebrows raised in curiosity. "Wait, is this the guy from the fundraiser?" Had he gotten his name? He'd been so drunk that night, everything kind of blurred together but he did remember there being a hot guy Sage was swooning over. "He can't think you're too bad if he wants a date, unless he's super into junkies." He realized he hadn't even given Sage space to answer any of his questions but he still kept them coming as another thought occurred to him, this one a little more grim. "Wait, is he... do you want to go on a date with him?"
“Oh, totally. I came onto him like a cheap whore, so he’s well aware of that fact,” Sage half-laughed, half-whined, answering Jacob’s last question first, since it seemed easier to work backwards. “Yeah, Marsh is the hot guy from the fundraiser. He’s a veterinarian—like, a legit, put-together person who knows how to function in society. I was supposed to text him about setting up guitar lessons. Now, I—I don’t know how to face him! One minute I’m begging him not to call the cops, the next I’m ready to crawl in his lap. Who does that?!” Just thinking about it made his head hurt. The night was so scrambled together that Sage didn’t even know if there were appropriate transitions or if he’d just been swinging wildly from one emotion to the next. As drunk as he’d been, he feared it was the later.
Jacob relaxed again and even laughed a little, sympathetic and amused both. "You, apparently," he teased and brought the sandwich to Sage, plopping down on the chair next to him after setting the food down on the table. "I'm glad he wasn't blackmailing you or something, that shit is only hot in fantasy." Oh so hot in fantasy, not so much in reality, even if the guy was hot. "So you have to text him today? What happens if you don't?" It was a theoretical question, they'd established Marsh wasn't blackmailing him - Jacob hoped, at least - so he'd probably just be disappointed, which could absolutely be bad enough. "Do you want to text him?" he added cheekily.
“Believe me, there was plenty of fantasy fuel without him having to actually blackmail me,” Sage snorted. He’d gone in the house and jerked off to a combination of them, his favorite being where Marsh punished him by bending him over the counter and having his way with him. He realized he would have freaked the fuck out if this had actually happened, but that didn’t matter when he was safe in his own bed. “I want to text him,” he said, picking up his sandwich. “The man took me to Moxie’s, got me a burger and a shake before driving me home. He fucking kissed me goodbye! He’s fucking Prince Charming and I’m—I’m not even Cinderella. I’m one of her singing rats.”
Jacob rolled his eyes and laughed at that, shaking his head firmly. "Okay, first of all you're not a singing rat, you're a fucking Disney princess - or at the very least the lead in an anime with your colorful hair. Second... If he fed you and took you home instead of calling the cops? I approve of him already. Unless he's hiding some horrible dark secret because seriously, people usually aren't that nice." He didn't mean to shit on Sage's fantasy and he really hoped the guy was just a good guy and not a manipulative shit bag. "If you wanna text him, text him."
“I know. I will. I’m just… dreading the part where I have to face him,” Sage said between bites of his sandwich, which was literally the best thing ever. The burger had been great because he’d been drunk and starving, but eating something now made him feel somewhat human again. “Besides the part where I need to apologize for being a self-destructive idiot, he saw me disappear. Or reappear, actually. When he caught me. And I promised him a legit explanation when I was sober enough to do so, and… I kinda… hate… telling anyone about it.” He’d been skimpy on the details with everyone, including Jacob and Jocelyn. His friends already had enough nightmare fuel. He didn’t need to add to it.
Jacob felt a little fretful hearing that because what if this guy was just interested in what Sage could do and was going to use him somehow. It wasn't like it was hard to believe he was into Sage, Jacob just felt a little overprotective - especially lately after everything Sage had been through. "You don't owe him an explanation," he said. "Even if he treated you well, you don't owe him anything. You can just tell him you're not ready to talk about it." Once again he felt like a hypocrite because giving advice like this was easy, but he was still working on his own boundaries. Connor was helping, thankfully, but Jacob was well aware how easily he could have made it worse.
Sage didn’t care about the invisibility part. He’d already told Marsh everything he knew on that front, which was next to nothing. It was how he came about it that was more complicated, a good part of it as unbelievable as it was unexplainable. “I know. But I already told him I would,” he sighed. “It’s more that…if you didn’t live it, if you weren’t there, it sounds crazy. The only thing I have to back up my story is that a dozen other people went missing as well, but no one wants to talk about it and I don’t blame ‘em. We’re all fucked up now and…” He shook his head, taking his hat off to run his fingers through his hair. He couldn’t explain how vulnerable it made him feel, like he was taking a scared, little child and putting them on display, asking them about their greatest fears. And then telling them it was real, the boogeyman was real and he was out to get you.
Jacob only had a faint idea of the surface level of the horrors Sage had really been through but they'd both been in a situation before that defied all explanation so he could sympathize with that. "You may be fucked up, but you're not fucked up beyond all repair," he reminded him and couldn't resist ruffling his hair a little. "Maybe a date is exactly what you need right now." Or maybe it was the last thing he needed but Jacob was at least self aware enough to acknowledge he was in no position to say so. He was a trainwreck at best and a hook up on Grindr had practically saved his life.
Sage thought it was optimistic of Jacob to think that he wasn’t completely broken. He sure felt like he was. He’d battled on and off with depression over the years, but never as bad as he had it these days. And when he wasn’t depressed, he was just fucking scared. He hated it. He was back in a place that should be safe, that he didn’t have to fear for every second of the day, yet it snuck up on him when he was least expecting it. If there was a way to get past it, or even just brush it to the side for a few hours, Sage was game. “He is hot,” he said with a little smile. “And nice. Nicer than I deserved. I wonder if it’s possible to fuck up a date after a night like that. The bar’s set pretty low.”
"You'd have to make an effort," Jacob agreed with a smirk. "So that's an upside, right? He's already seen you at your worst so you don't have to try to impress him, just relax and be yourself." Hadn't Jacob bent over backwards to please Connor in the beginning? He couldn't imagine how he would have felt if Connor had seen him at his worst back then, probably eager for the earth to swallow him before he ever went near him again so he could understand why this only sounded good in theory and why his advice was probably bullshit.
“Should be easy,” Sage said with a little snort. It would be easy if he felt like himself, but that didn’t seem possible these days. Maybe he was just a different person now, changed by everything that had happened to him. He felt off around most people, like he was a contaminant of sorts. It would be no shock to him if he could poison a conversation just by existing, but he still wanted to try. He’d felt good for that brief time he’d been with Marsh and that was a feeling worth chasing. “Should I tell him though? About what happened to me? I’d worry about scaring him off, but I’ve already had a pretty good go at that and failed.”
"I don't know," Jacob admitted with a pained expression. He'd told Connor about the tunnel, but he'd felt pressed to explain himself because he'd feared Connor would otherwise believe the gossip about it. The truth was a lot harder to believe of course but it had worked out anyway. "Maybe not on the first date?" he suggested, then shrugged helplessly. "Honestly, just do whatever feels right in the moment. Don't plan anything, except maybe your outfit." He winked and grinned at that, a small attempt at teasing and lightening the mood. "He's a local, right? Maybe he's seen some shit too."
“Don’t even get me started on what to wear,” Sage snickered. “Almost everything I own is some version of skater chic. I think the best I can do is jeans without holes in them.” He could always wear his slacks, like he’d worn to the event at the country club, but that felt a little insincere. While he wanted to look nice, Sage always wanted to be himself. He wanted to wear his Converse sneakers or his combat boots, his cuffs and his bracelets, his rings and maybe even his baseball cap. He shouldn’t wear a hat, but, God, he felt naked without one. “He’s local,” he nodded. “Probably even knows our history, though I’m not sure if he’s put that together yet. It’s just one more thing to worry about.”
"He asked you on a date," Jacob reminded him. "So you should show up for it." He liked Sage's style, it suited him and looked good so if this guy wanted to date his friend, he had to be cool with his style too. "I don't remember him, but he looks older. Do you know how old he is?" He was obviously not judging, not when Connor was twenty years his senior, but it was a nice reference, knowing who he might hang out with, how long ago he'd been in the same school they'd gone to. Maybe he hadn't been in town when the tunnel shitshow went down, there was a chance he knew nothing about it and Jacob wasn't sure if that was better or worse than the alternative.
“I don’t know exactly, but he went to school with Bandit, so I’m guessing thirty-ish? He would’ve been out of college when that all went down. Or maybe not. How many years does it take to become a vet?” Sage knew it took forever to become a doctor and he felt like they were somewhat similar. It was possible Marsh was still away when the tunnel disaster happened, but it still wouldn’t surprise Sage if he’d heard about it. All the locals seemed to know some version of the story, none of them correct. “But yeah, older. But not as old as Connor, so don’t even start,” he teased lightly. He still felt like a bit of a kid around Marsh, but he thought that had more to do with his personality than his age.
"A little younger than Connor," Jacob teased him. "Noted." He knew his friends hadn't been fully on board with his relationship with Connor when it started but after everything that had gone down, he liked to think they were cool with it now. "I'm so bad at guessing how old people are and I really don't remember him that well." He gave Sage a sheepish smile on account of how drunk he'd been that night, at least it was a good reason not to remember all the details. "Do you know his full name?" he asked then, already reaching absentmindedly for his phone. "We could look him up!"
“Ummm… I don’t think so. I’m sure it’s on the door of the clinic, but I wasn’t paying attention,” Sage said. “Marsh might be short for Marshall. Oh! And he just moved into Black Cove. That’s a pretty small community.” He didn’t know anyone that lived up there, but imagined that they all knew each other on some level. Except… “He just moved back from Africa though, so I don’t know if he’ll be listed. He grew up here though.” He could see him being an Overlook brat, but didn’t say so, as he had no basis for that thought except that he looked like he came from money. “I wonder if my brother has an old yearbook sitting around.”
"Do you wanna go visit your brother?" Jacob joked with a little laugh, already browsing through his social media as he tried to think of possible connections to people in town. It felt part juvenile and part responsible to look up a friend's crush like this but at least he knew everyone did that so it wasn't exactly stalkery. He was just looking out for Sage and he was curious. "I bet he played sports," he mused to himself as he thought about how much easier this would be on the computer. "We could check the team rosters. If they go back that far." The last one was said tongue in cheek and he gave Sage an impish smile.
It went without saying that Sage would rather not visit his brother and his expression said as much. That would just lead to more questions that he didn’t want to answer. He’d been thinking more along the lines of a yearbook being somewhere in his parent’s house, but tracking that down just seemed like a lot more work than it was worth. It would be far easier to look him up online, even without a last name to assist them. And he could almost claim innocence, since it was Jacob doing the stalking. “Did they have internet back then?” he grinned. He was pretty sure they did, but it was fun to tease, even if Marsh wasn’t here. It made Connor seem ancient. “I’d bet money he played some kind of sport. Football, most likely.”
Jacob's eyes lit up and his grin grew wider. "C'mon," he said excitedly and got up since Sage had finished his food by now. "To the computer." It felt like something they might have done together when they were in high school if they'd been more open about their preferences and actually gushed over boys together, but better late than never. It was also just a fun little thing to do and any distraction from Sage's trauma was a good thing, be it music or stalking hot guys on the internet. Phones were amazing but they weren't easy to do this kind of searches on so Jacob pulled Sage along with him to the office and pulled up a chair for him before sitting down himself. "Let's start with the football team," he said and squinted as he did the math in his head. "Let's start with two thousand and seven. Or six? What do you think?"
Sage was doing the same thing, trying to count backwards from their own graduation year and approximate Marsh’s. “That sounds about right. There was definitely internet back then,” he snickered as he followed Jacob back to his computer. It was definitely easier to do these kinds of searches on a computer, rather than a phone, at least in his opinion. “Did they have Facebook though? Or did that come later? God, can you imagine high school without social media?” It was weird to think about and Sage wondered if it would have made his life better or worse. He’d never been all that into it, but he couldn’t avoid it entirely, and their town was so small that it felt like every single person was connected one way or another. “I bet there’s pictures. I bet if we could narrow down the Overlook crowd at that time, we’d find him in some party pics at the very least.”
"I mean, how many Marshalls could there be?" Jacob said with a little nose wrinkle as he opened up the years in different tabs for faster searching. The football team was a bust. There was one Marshall but he was some blond guy currently living in Bangor according to facebook. "God, what if Marsh is just a nickname," Jacob sighed as he looked up the Chamberlain basketball team. "You think he's an Overlook brat? Are you going on a date with an Overlook brat?" He opened another few tabs as he laughed, but he supposed he couldn't say too much since he was with a doctor. "Ooh, another Marshall!"
“There’s no way I’m going on a date with an Overlook brat,” Sage snorted. “I only meant that’s where the parties are. You can probably find us in pictures up there, until things went shitty.” He didn’t have anything against the people that lived in Overlook, except that they generally looked down their nose at him even without considering his reputation. He recalled Marsh voicing that he felt out of place among them, which had surprised him at the time because he’d looked liked he’d fit in. That was before he’d flirted back with Sage. “I think that’s him!” Sage jumped, surprised that they’d actually found him. “Younger, for sure, and without the beard, but I’m nearly positive. What’s his last name?”
"Aww so little," Jacob cooed and laughed as he squinted at the photo before opening another tag to look the guy up on facebook. He really hoped he had an account and wasn't one of those people who locked everything. "Nolan," he told Sage as he typed in his name and hissed a cheerful 'yes' when he found him pretty easily. "We have two friends in common," he added, though it wasn't anyone close to him. "He's fucking cute," he said and grinned at Sage. "And obviously not very paranoid." There were plenty of unlocked posts and pictures, though it hadn't been updated in a while. "You realize that if he's really interested, he's probably looked you up too, right?"
“Oh, he’s totally hot,” Sage smiled. “Even hotter now than he was back then.” He’d picked up on that both times, even when he hadn’t been in the best frame of mind to notice something like that. Now that he’d felt Marsh’s lips on his, it was impossible to forget it. He wanted to relive that moment, to remember what he smelled like, recall the texture of his lips, and maybe even sneak a taste. He’d been caught so off guard he hadn’t really taken advantage of it. Sage’s eyes scanned the posts as Jacob scrolled through them, trying to take in as much as he could. “I can’t imagine anything I’ve posted being worse than what he’s already seen of me. He’s gotta know what he’s getting into. Maybe that’s a good thing?”
"You may be a mess, but you're a hot mess," Jacob told him and reached over to scratch gently at the back of Sage's neck. "He's lucky you're interested." It was so much easier to be confident on behalf of his friends than it was for himself, his friends were all gorgeous! Sometimes he felt pretty too, mostly when Connor was all but worshipping him, but his ego wouldn't quite let him believe he was hot. He had good angles and cleaned up nice, but that didn't mean he didn't feel insecure all the damn time. "Wow you weren't joking about Africa," he added distractedly as he scrolled through Marshall's photos and spotted one of him and a rhino. A very awake and gigantic rhino. "Yikes."
“Sure,” Sage snorted and rolled his eyes, accepting the compliment without truly believing it. The mess part was right, but he didn’t consider himself all that hot. Cute, sometimes. Cuddly like a teddy bear, pretty much always. But his hair was always a mess, no matter what he did with it, and he looked like a baby when he shaved, and while he was somewhat trim, he didn’t think his body was anything special. No one was going to ogle him at the beach. “I guess… if he can handle a rhino, he can handle me,” he said, impressed with how composed Marsh looked in the photo. Sage would probably freak out if he was that close to an animal that size. “Or maybe he’s crazy. Crazy people pet rhinos.”
"Did you just compare yourself to a rhino?" Jacob asked with an exaggerated sigh and gave Sage an affectionate little smack on the back of his neck. "Yeah, he might be crazy. Keep me updated when you go on a date, I'll call you if you need an out." He doubted Sage would end up using that out, Marsh had seemed charming enough as far as he remembered and his social media did nothing to paint him in a bad light. That didn't mean much, of course. People had layers and red flags weren't always obvious. "Aw hey, his birthday's in December. That's obviously the best month." Cheeky, considering that was his birthday month as well as Connor's so he was perhaps a bit biased.
“My baggage is the equivalent of a rhino and you know it,” Sage smiled, barely flinching at the little smack. “Assuming he hasn’t come to his senses, I’ll let you know. You can even check in on me, give me a reason to run if I need it.” Sage had the feeling Marsh would be the one needing an out, but that was his own self-doubt talking. It was hard for him to believe a man that hot actually wanted a date with him. And he was nice, not some stuck up snob. Sage didn’t know him well, but he’d gone out of his way for him last night and that was a greater show of character than anything Facebook had to offer. “Yeah, yeah, December’s nice,” he snickered, well aware that Jacob’s birthday was that month. “We’re both fire signs. Wonder if that means anything.”
"Hot, hot, hot sex," Jacob said with a knowing smile and whether or not the whole zodiac thing was true, he knew he and Connor were in the same sign and everything about their relationship was hot. "Just don't let it get out of control or you'll burn this whole place down." He stuck his tongue out, well aware of how cliche that sounded but he didn't really care. "Connor's in December too, I know what I'm talking about. Constant vigilance not to burn the house down."
“Yeah, we’ll see. I can only hope,” Sage chuckled, trying not to get ahead of himself. He was sure there was chemistry between them, but his head hadn’t been clear in either situation, so he wasn’t sure what to make of it. It probably was a good idea to have a date that at least started out sober, even if a drink would’ve calmed the nerves he knew he’d have. If all it was was sex, it would’ve been easy, just thinking about Marsh made him hot, but Marsh was making an effort to get to know him. It felt like a whole other ballgame. “I should text him. Find out if he’s still interested before I go too far down that rabbit hole.”
"What are you going to say?" Jacob asked. "Thanks for not calling the cops?" He remembered just how much of a mess he'd been when he first sent Connor a message in Point Pleasant, how'd he'd done too much overthinking and questioned every little thing he might have done wrong. Maybe Sage wasn't as neurotic but they were a lot alike so he could sympathize if Sage was a wreck. "I can be moral support if you need it," he added and maybe he was a little excited to see how this turned out, he wanted the best for Sage and romance in general was exciting!
“I dunno,” Sage sighed. “I’m sure that needs to be said. I might just start with… good morning. Is it too late to call it morning?” If he started with an apology, then it was bound to get out of hand fast. There were so many things he felt like he needed to apologize for, all of it mildly humiliating in retrospect. He didn’t mind Marsh knowing he was into him, especially if that resulted in a date, but the sum of his behavior was deplorable at best. Sage fiddled with his phone, nervous about sending anything at all, well aware that he couldn’t take it back.
"Too formal and too late," Jacob said with a pained smile. "Just say hi, maybe thanks? I don't know. I'm no help, I suck at this stuff too. You should have seen me when I talked to Connor for the - well, not first time, but first time here. I felt like everything I sent him was dumb as shit." It seemed so far away now, far enough away that he no longer felt embarrassed by it and hell, maybe he was a little proud of himself for going for it despite his nerves. "He asked you to text him so at least you know it's welcome, right? And he kissed you goodbye so, I mean, you don't just kiss people goodbye if you're not interested in them."
“Shit, you’re right,” Sage said, biting his bottom lip as he thought through possible responses. Jacob was right—Marsh had made his interest clear. The text wasn’t going to be completely rejected, unless he’d had a change of heart once daylight hit. But Marsh had been sober, so Sage had to hope he wouldn’t change his mind in less than twenty-four hours. He fiddled with his phone a moment more before quickly typing out a message before he could over think it too much. Hey. Thanks for last night. For not calling the cops. And for dinner and the ride home. Sorry for being such a trainwreck. I’d like to see you again, if you’re still interested. He read it once more, wondered if it was too pitiful, but wasn’t sure how to flirt while apologizing. “Fuck it,” he muttered, then hit send before handing the phone to Jacob. “I suck at this. Soften the blow for me if he says no, will you?”
Jacob didn't know how he could do that but he nodded enthusiastically and crossed his fingers for Sage. "I can at least try to distract you," he said and when the phone didn't chime right away - as it should, damn it - he stood up as he remembered something. "You asked if the ropes I love chafe, I can show you the ropes if you want. Literally." He'd go get them, not too eager to rifle through the toy chest with Sage watching, but the ropes were something he'd given to Connor and if Sage was curious, well, he'd love to encourage that curiosity even if it only served to get some more understanding about his lifestyle.
“Yeah?” Sage perked up. “We could do that.” He was more than a little curious, but didn’t want to ask too many questions related to Jacob’s sex life. He was sure there was a line somewhere in there and he was a lot more conscious about it when he was sober, so it helped that Jacob was the one to offer. It would also be a nice distraction, otherwise he’d probably sit and stare at his phone, or worse, text Marsh again before he had a chance to respond. Sage waited, his knee bouncing in his seat as Jacob went to retrieve the ropes, figuring that if he wanted Sage to follow he would have said so. In the meantime, he picked up the phone and read the text again, already starting to doubt himself. Maybe he should have tried flirting instead of honest. Honest sounded sad and desperate.
Jacob tried not to take too long and he made a point of not asking if Sage had gotten an answer yet when he returned. It was kind of obvious he hadn't anyway, so why rub it in? "I only know a few knots," he said as he sat down again and handed the ropes to Sage. "Probably fewer than I used to, it's been a while. My friend Erin is like a for real artist with these, I used to sit for her in classes and stuff. See? Soft. Connor's been to those classes too, there's a lot of safety stuff you have to learn so we're - yeah, we're definitely super safe about it all."
Sage breathed a sigh of relief when Jacob returned and he set his phone aside. He had to keep in mind that Marsh had a real job, one that could easily prevent him from responding to texts. A lack of a quick response wasn’t something to be too bothered by. He took the offered rope, running it over his hand as he listened to Jacob. He was right, it was softer than Sage expected and unlikely to chafe. “I guess I never thought about the logistics of it all. Like, how to make something tight, but safe. I didn’t even know there were classes. Probably none here.” His only experience with it was porn, which he knew could be nothing like real life.
Part 2