Who: Adrian and Roxy When: late morning, Sunday, June 17 Where: home Status: complete
Sunday mornings had meant church for the majority of Roxy’s life. Even after St. Dismas burned down, most weekends she would drive to a neighboring town to attend services there. But this Sunday she didn’t want to go to church. She didn’t even want to get up. When Roxy’s alarm went off, she dismissed it and rolled over to go back to sleep. She wanted to sleep for maybe the next week or so, but her body only allowed for another couple of hours. It was after eleven when she finally got up, her joints aching and her bladder full.
Roxy pulled on some leggings and a baggy t-shirt and after a brief stop in the bathroom, she shuffled downstairs for a cup of coffee. She felt like death and probably looked about the same, her hair in a messy ponytail and her eyes puffy and bloodshot from crying, so she was glad that the house was quiet and everyone seemed to be gone.
Adrian couldn't deny that he felt some concern after his chat with Mila. There was something going on with the baby and they might never know what it was - maybe that would be the best outcome as it meant it was nothing noticeable but they'd still always know. He was less worried about his Portland trip, managing not to let her paranoia stir up his own fears - or maybe his new baseline of acceptable fear was just a lot higher than it used to be. He left her out on the back porch and headed inside to get a drink of water. He knew Roxy was staying with them now - and why - but he hadn't seen her much, just relocated to the nursery to give her a decent bed because he could sleep on the hard ground if he had to, so a blowup mattress was just as much a luxury as anything else.
He hadn't exactly been avoiding her but her situation seemed more suited for Mila to deal with, breakups were hard and she was Mila's friend. He didn't expect her in the kitchen this early and almost hightailed it out of there before she could see him, but that would be stupid so he stopped himself. "Hey," he said instead, starting the faucet to let the water run cold. "How are you holding up?" How are you didn't feel like a good question because she was obviously not okay.
So maybe they weren’t gone. Roxy’s back stiffened slightly as she heard the porch door open and footsteps approaching. They were too heavy to be Mila’s footsteps, so Roxy didn’t look around. She had nothing against Adrian or Aaron really, but she wasn’t eager to talk to either of them for various reasons. This was more their space than hers though, so she would try to be pleasant. She didn’t have space anymore. While she got the coffee maker going for a fresh pot -- apparently she’d slept through the first round -- she glanced over at him and gave a faint smile. “I’m fine,” Roxy told him, even though that was the opposite of true. She was supposed to be fine, she’d been the one dumping Caden, who had abused her for years, so everything should be peachy keen now, shouldn’t it? “How about you? You want a cup?”
"Nah I'm good," Adrian replied and grabbed a glass from the cabinet. "Did you talk to Mila already? We're having a dinner tonight and then I'm heading to Portland tomorrow so you'll have some peace and quiet here when Mila and Aaron are at work." She probably had plenty of peace and quiet already, even when he was around, but he could understand wanting to be alone sometimes - especially after a breakup. He got the feeling Roxy was the type to need that alone time but he wasn't the best at reading people these days - something he should probably work on before going back to work.
Roxy hadn’t been there long yet, but Adrian hadn’t disturbed her at all yet. Most of the time she hardly even knew he was around. She was both grateful and felt a little bad that he’d given up the guest bed for her. Roxy didn’t plan to stay for long, but it had still been generous. “No, I haven’t talked to her yet,” Roxy said, leaning back against the counter while the coffee maker worked. She could make it through a normal dinner like a normal person, she thought. She hoped, anyway. “How long are you going to Portland for?” Roxy vaguely knew that Adrian had coming-back-to-life business to take care of so he could have an identity again, but she hadn’t retained any of the details, if anyone had told her. There had been a lot on her mind.
"Honestly? Not sure. If Mila had a say in it it'd be a day trip," Adrian said with a wistful little smile. "But I can stay until the weekend if I want to, if the apartment is nice I just might. The original plan was just to sleep there a couple of nights." And then he would find out if sleeping in an otherwise empty apartment would stir up all his nightmares even worse and if he could handle that. He hoped not, it would be something he needed to get over if he wanted to be able to move out from Mila's home eventually. He knew this was just small talk so he was probably dishing out too much information but it was nice to have something to say that wasn't awkward tip-toeing around her obviously difficult break-up.
“So you got like, an Airbnb or something?” Roxy asked, though she didn’t really need an answer to it, she supposed. Unless Adrian knew somebody with an empty apartment in Portland he was borrowing, it seemed logical enough. “I hope it’s a nice trip for you though, however long you stay. I know Mila will miss you.” Adrian probably wanted his own space and his own bathroom and just to live like a normal adult human for a while, so Roxy wished him well. “And best of luck with all your red tape bullshit, hope it’s not too painful,” she added with a sympathetic little wince. She imagined it wasn’t easy to sort that kind of thing out with the government, and whatever licenses Adrian used to have as a nurse.
Adrian didn't really know if the apartment was Airbnb or not, all he knew was that his dad had arranged something for free - unless he was lying and was paying for it behind Adrian's back - he didn't really want to think about that possibility, feeling guilty enough about everything already. "Thanks," he said and refilled his glass of water. "I'm kinda bracing for the worst and hoping for the best," he admitted. "There's always a shortage of nurses and you wouldn't believe some of the people who do it for a living so, looking at that it should be a walk in the park." But he couldn't shake the feeling that they'd want him to have a psych evaluation before they let him anywhere near a hospital again. That was what he would want if he was in charge, but he knew the system was deeply flawed and standards obscenely low so it might not come to that. "Do you have any plans yet?" She was obviously not going to be working at the Porch anymore, not with Caden there, so in a way she was as much in freefall as Adrian himself at the moment.
In Roxy’s experience, nothing having to do with bureaucracy was a walk in the park, but she didn’t want to discourage him. The dark stormcloud looming over her head was her own to deal with, and she was trying to keep as neutral a disposition as she could around people. If she couldn’t be happy, she could at least be nothing. The coffee maker finished doing its thing, so Roxy started to pour herself a cup, adding plenty of cream and sugar. “No, no plans,” she murmured, eyes on her mug. She definitely felt lost, especially on the job front, and she would’ve related to Adrian’s guilt about receiving help from everybody. Roxy didn’t want to mooch off of Aaron and Mila, or Spence if she ended up there, but she knew she couldn’t afford anything of her own right now. “I don’t want to waitress anymore, so if you see any Help Wanted signs around town or hear of anything different, let me know. I might end up moving in with, uh ... an old boyfriend. But I dunno yet. Don’t feel like I know anything anymore.”
"You and me both," Adrian said with a wry smile and while he was curious to know who the old boyfriend was, he wasn't going to ask. It didn't feel like something she really wanted to talk about, he just hoped it wasn't a bad move on her behalf. "Mila loves you though so I'm sure she's told you what she's told me; you can stay as long as you want and need." He could hear her say it in his mind too, all concern and despite it probably being inconvenient as hell, she didn't seem to want him to go. Not that he could blame her, he didn't like having her out of sight for long either after what she'd been through. "Take some time, don't make any huge decisions right now. I haven't been in a serious relationship so I'm talking out of my ass here but, seems smart to just... take some time."
Taking time was what Roxy was trying to do, it was just harder when she felt like a mooch and a burden and a black hole for happiness. She hadn’t been there long yet, of course, but she already felt like she was bringing down the joy in this house -- joy because of the wedding, the baby, Adrian’s resurrection ... And then there was Roxy, broken and weeping over a man who probably hadn’t shed a single tear for her, who was probably glad she was finally gone. A man who was never going to love her. Just like every other man she’d cared about in her life. Even Spence had already broken her heart once. Roxy looked up at Adrian, his handsome face compassionate and concerned, and felt a pang of regret at the course of her life. Why not him? But Adrian had his own problems, he didn’t need her adding to them, because she surely would. “I’m taking time,” she murmured, her voice a little thick. “I’m trying to, anyway.”
"Just-" Adrian said, pausing for a moment. "Just know that you can, nobody here is rushing you." He knew when it was time to skedaddle, she probably didn't want to start bawling in front of him and he didn't want to push her into a corner with overly concerned antics. So he filled his glass again and started heading out. "You'll be okay, Roxy," he said before he left her the kitchen to herself. "You've got good people around you."
She did know that last part for sure. Roxy didn’t think she ever would have actually made the break with Caden if it weren’t for Mila’s support. Whether it was a good thing or not still remained to be seen, but at least it was done and she wasn’t homeless. She felt both grateful and annoyed at the way Adrian made an exit -- did every man on earth just balk in the face of a woman’s emotions? What a bunch of pussies. The annoyance faded quickly though, and Roxy couldn’t really blame him. She didn’t want to deal with herself either. Roxy took her coffee and headed back to her temporary room before anybody else wandered in, needing some privacy before dinner.