That sort of dynamic seemed like such an adult thing -- there was no Honey Do List if there wasn’t a house or apartment or whatever. Jasper wondered vaguely if Jules would have started finding chores for him if they’d moved in together, and he got a bittersweet pang in his chest. Not that he was handy like his dad or anything, but Jasper had observed enough to think he could fix simple stuff. Almost as if reading his thoughts, Gavin brought up Jules, and that inner pang got a little more painful. “Thanks,” he murmured, not sure what else to say. “Me too.” He felt like their story wasn’t over by any means, he missed her too much to stay away from her for long, Jasper just hoped that she wouldn’t write him off in the meantime. He hoped she missed him as much as he missed her, and that eventually she would understand why he’d needed this time, and forgive him.
Gavin could have gone on but it felt wrong to say all the things he was thinking so he tried to settle for the thought that he had tried his best here and that he'd gotten through to Jasper a little bit. He might be hiding something still, or putting on a brave face, there was no way for Gavin to know that and the only way to be sure would be to talk to one of those damned witches - something he never wanted to do again. There was a shaky truce on right now and if they got into an all out war Gavin knew he'd be on the losing side. He didn't want to take any chances in ruining the peace they currently had going. He just hoped Caden felt the same. "Just promise me," he muttered, with nothing else he could say. "That - if it all gets too heavy, don't just... Please come talk to me."
“Don’t just eat a bullet?” Jasper suggested, false incredulity in his voice. A second later he didn’t know why he’d said it, and he sighed. “I don’t want to kill myself, Dad,” he murmured, glancing over. “So don’t worry, okay? I’ll talk first, I promise.” He didn’t feel like he was lying, in spite of the scary second earlier when he’d had a gun in his hand. For the most part, Jasper wanted to live. He just wanted to stop fucking everything up, wanted to understand himself and feel normal and stable again. He just had to keep thinking he would get there, and eventually he would. He hoped.
"That's good," Gavin said as he tried not to show how sheepish he felt at being called out. Maybe he was worrying too much for nothing, but it was probably better to feel stupid for a second than to lose his kid because he hadn't reached out at all. "I don't want you to kill yourself either." He attempted a smile but it came out a little crooked and wan. He'd been trying to lighten the mood but now he'd gone ahead and brought up all the dark shit again and he wasn't sure how to undo that damage. "I've still got a thing or two to teach you about house repairs."
Jasper huffed a vaguely amused sound at the small joke and let the subject go. He reached to turn the radio up again and let his head rest back against the seat, gaze pointed out the window. He could’ve told Gavin about how tempted he’d been Over There to just walk into the fog and sit down and wait to get eaten, but that would just make his dad worry more. That had been a completely different environment, and Jasper was glad he’d been wrong about getting stuck in that place forever. There was despair here too, and scary shit in the night, but there were good things as well. Weed, sex, sunshine on his face. Going shooting with his dad. There were good people he didn’t want to leave behind. So Jasper would stick it out, keep fumbling along and trying to grow up.