Who: Jared & Ty Where: Texas! When: Wednesday, June 13th Status Complete, part 1
It turned out to be a terribly hard thing to do, ignoring Ty's sudden condition. Jared had spent the day of their hike hoping he'd start feeling the cuts but no such luck and the longer it went on the more it became apparent that he couldn't cling to the hope that he'd just eaten something or somehow put on a numbing cream instead of sunscreen. That one was far fetched already but desperation made weird things seem possible, even highly believable because they were better than the alternative. They'd done their best to keep going, to try to enjoy their day and after their hike they'd driven a little further to find a good place to park for the night.
Sleeping seemed impossible and once Jared did fall asleep he kept waking up and listening for Ty's breathing so he was pretty tired the next day, though he tried not to show it. "Still nothing?" he asked when they'd been awake for a little while, a question he'd been biting his tongue on. He didn't want it to be the main focus of their life right now and he certainly didn't want Ty to realize it was depriving him of a good night's sleep but trying to sound casual about it still felt a little ridiculous as he sat down next to Ty, lightly gripping his bandaged arms.
In spite of his own worry, Ty had slept pretty soundly -- perhaps extra tired because of all the worrying. There had come a certain point in his captivity Over There where he’d resigned himself to his fate and stopped trying to think his way out of it, and that attitude had been downright relaxing compared to this. He had stuff to lose again, and it made such a difference. Still, at least he’d slept and hadn’t really had any bad dreams. Ty was sitting down at the little RV table with his mug of instant coffee when Jared joined him. He had left the bandages in place all night to protect the wounds underneath, since he apparently wouldn’t be able to tell if he bumped into something wrong and tore his flesh open again or something. The implications of all of that were too much for his brain to handle first thing in the morning, so he was trying not to think about it. At Jared’s question, Ty lightly pushed the heels of his hands against the edge of the table, then poked at his covered forearms and shook his head. “Still nothing but pressure, no pain,” he confirmed.
Jared had never expected to find himself hoping Ty was in pain but the answer was disappointing and he nodded solemnly. At least he'd braced himself for that answer so it didn't come out of the left field. "I'd leave them on if you could feel them but-" he started. "I think I should change the bandages, make sure there's no risk of infection or anything." He knew that people who suffered bigger injuries often couldn't feel them until they saw the wound, like their brain shut that part off until the conscious mind could register it, but that wasn't the case for Ty. His wounds were shallow, mostly scrapes, and he'd certainly seen them already. "How are you feeling overall?" he asked, reaching over to lightly touch Ty's forehead with the back of his hand. He looked fine, he didn't feel hot to the touch, there were literally no signs of anything being wrong with him but the lack of the presence of pain.
Ty had to work not to sigh out loud. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop Jared from worrying about him, as much as he wanted to flip that switch off in his husband. It was probably to Ty’s benefit that Jared did worry, in the end. He just hated that he was causing more stress for his man, however unintentional. “I’m feeling fine, completely normal,” he answered. Ty felt perfect capable of taking off his own bandages and changing them out, but if Jared wanted to play nurse for him ... well, he knew what an awful feeling helplessness was, and how even having a small task could help. Ty moved his coffee mug and rested his arm on the table in front of Jared so he could do whatever he wanted to do. “Doesn’t look like I bled through anything, so ... should be clotted up under there, at least?” he offered, looking for something positive. Pain or no, at least his body was healing, right?
On some level Jared knew he was fussing too much, scrapes like that didn't usually cause more problems than just discomfort but the fact Ty couldn't feel them made it clear they might not be normal scrapes so he did feel somewhat justified in his worrying. He was just glad Ty wasn't protesting, his man knew him well by now and pointless or not, this was what he needed to do to ease his mind a little. "Yeah, I'm sure it's okay," he admitted and took Ty's hands for a moment before he started on the bandages. "I just- I wanna be sure," he admitted with a tone that said more about his feelings on the matter than words could and he gave Ty an apologetic little smile for it, a sheepish one even. It was hard not to feel like he might hurt him accidentally, he kept expecting Ty to suck in some air through his teeth or flinch if Jared touched him wrong but Ty was so calm, it was eerie. It made Jared want to smack him, not in anger but in some desperation to make him feel the sting of it. It was an awful compulsion so he focused on what he was doing and on the moment instead of his worries of the future.
Ty returned that small smile with a gentle one of his own, nodding slightly as Jared started to peel the bandage tape off of his skin. It was so strange that part bothered him more than the injuries underneath did -- the adhesive was kind of itchy. Ty glanced away as he reached for his coffee again with his free hand, then froze with it halfway to his lips as his eyes returned to his forearm where Jared was pulling the bandage away. He’d expected to see the scrape, healing but still gross, covered over with dark scabs with maybe some blood still oozing here and there ... but what he saw was nothing. Just his usual brown skin, smooth and unmarred, like nothing had ever happened. Ty stared at it, his mouth hanging open for a beat, then he set down his coffee and pulled away from Jared’s hands to start tugging the rest of the bandages off. His palm was fine, his other palm was fine, as was the other forearm once he had it exposed as well. “What the fuck,” Ty breathed, staring at his uninjured self, turning his arms from one side to the other a few times, like maybe the injury had moved.
Jared had frozen when he first noticed, unsure what he was really looking at because it made no damn sense. The bandages were bloody so they hadn't been hallucinating the whole thing but Ty was unhurt, not a scratch let alone something that required bandages. Jared opened his mouth to speak a couple of times before he actually found the words to go with it and he leaned in to get a better look, his heart beating a little too fast for a quiet morning. "Are you- are you going all Wolverine on me, babe?" he asked and barely managed to get his voice above a whisper. He couldn't even begin to wonder what this meant, not when he was having a hard time digesting the fact it was happening in the first place.
Ty held his hands out -- which now had a fine tremor running through them -- for Jared to see clearly, some part of him kind of wishing it was a hallucination and he was really still torn up. He wasn’t, that much was obvious. It took his brain a few extra seconds to recall what Jared meant by that, then he remembered those stupid movies and the way Wolverine healed fast from everything. Not feeling any pain could maybe be explained by medical facts, like he had a brain tumor or some weird spine disease or something, but this? This was straight up unnatural. “I don’t ... I don’t know,” he murmured slowly as he rubbed his perfectly smooth hands together. Ty had the craziest urge to lunge for a knife, make a cut on himself, see what it did. Those scrapes hadn’t healed instantly though, they’d hung around long enough for him and Jared to fret over them, clean them, bandage them. Did that mean any injury he got would heal faster than normal? God, his head was spinning, and it suddenly felt like someone was sitting on his chest, or like the RV walls were closing in. Walls covered in black mold, maybe. Ty pushed the discarded rumpled bandages away and got up with a lurch, making a beeline for the door to the outside. He needed to be outside, feel the sun, breathe fresh air, before panic took him over.
Jared wanted to rush out after him but he held back and took a minute to discard the bandages and give Ty some space to breathe. It could be hard to gauge whether someone needed distance or not and he didn't want to crowd Ty if he was feeling too overwhelmed. Jared wasn't a big fan of solitude, but even he needed moments to himself to process things and clear his head. Nothing felt like it could clear his head right now though, it was exploding with questions and theories, all of them only serving to make him feel more alarmed. It didn't take too long before he couldn't take it and headed outside as well, stepping up next to Ty and gently resting his hand on his shoulder. He found himself studying his face, as if he could see if there were any changes from the night before that he just hadn't noticed yet.
Having more space around him was helpful, and Ty paced around in front of their RV and rubbed his hands over his face while he tried to collect himself. His perfectly fine, not at all injured hands. His mind was spinning out over this, latching on to the certainty that it had something to do with being stuck Over There for so long. He’d been changed. Wolverine was a mutant, an experiment, was that what he was now? Mutated? What if it was ramping up to something horrible? Ty couldn’t think that anything that came out of that place was good. Had they been manipulated into losing their shit and then getting locked away and then being released as some grand experiment? Conducted by whom? To what end? Was he an X-Man now? Would this end up killing him somehow? There were too many questions and not nearly enough answers and Ty had to make himself stop and take a few deep, counting breaths so he wouldn’t hyperventilate right there. He was still counting breaths when Jared emerged, and the sudden touch on his shoulder made Ty twitch and flinch away from it. He caught himself and let out a huffed breath, then moved in to hug his man, tucking his face into Jared’s neck.
It did occur to Jared that maybe he should be afraid of Ty as much as he was afraid for him, that maybe whatever had infected him in the fog and completely warped his mind for some time was back and this time it was changing Ty into something else. It wasn't a possibility that he was completely oblivious to, but the mere idea of being afraid of Ty was so outlandish he couldn't entertain it for even a fraction of a second. He tried to be a grounding presence, hugging Ty snugly to his chest and just holding him there for a few moments before he spoke. "I think, when we get back, you should talk to some of the other people who went through what you did." He spoke quietly and a bit slower than usual, somewhat struggling with parsing this idea himself. "No matter what happens, Ty. I'm here. I'll always be here with you - for you. I meant what I said when we got married, no matter how scary it gets, remember? Your presence alone puts all my troubled thoughts to rest." He could only hope he was that for Ty as well, that he could calm him and hold him steady through whatever this turned out to be.
Being held by Jared was grounding, the only man he’d ever been with who was big enough to make him feel protected by a hug. Ty gradually relaxed as they stood there, his hands curled in the back of Jared’s shirt as he breathed in his familiar scent. He knew and believed all of what Jared said, but it never hurt to hear the reminder out loud. Jared would be right by his side through anything ... Ty just hated to think that ‘anything’ might mean Jared lost him again, for good this time. On the other hand, whatever was happening to him seemed to be more complicated than brain cancer, so maybe that should give him some hope. Ty took another few deep breaths and tried to push that fear back. “I think you’re right,” he murmured eventually. Ty gave Jared an extra squeeze and pulled back enough to look at him. “About talking to the others. I don’t ... it was such an otherworldly place, and we breathed in that air for so long ... maybe it was naive to think it wouldn’t affect us on some ... deep level, you know?”
Jared knew that was true and he hated it, but fast healing was admittedly a great deal better than lung cancer, he just didn't know if it was the start of something worse, a mutation of some sort, something that would take Ty away from him again. He nodded and tried not to let his worries show in his expression too much but he didn't let go of Ty either. He wasn't sure who all had been over there so the first name that came to mind was Carson but Jared was still working through all that and maybe being a werewolf - an idea that still felt incredibly jarring - meant he wasn't affected in the same way. "I haven't asked you a lot about the others," he said quietly. "Is there someone you feel you can easily talk to?"
Ty knew that Jared shared all of his worries, and might even have some creative ones of his own, and while he didn’t want to dwell there, it was so hard not to think of all the things that could be wrong with him. Or all of the things he couldn’t even conceive of yet that could be wrong with him. Ty tried not to focus on that, but Jared’s question instead, nibbling on his bottom lip as he thought. He hadn’t exactly made friends over there, everyone felt too much like rats trapped in a cage ... but some of them had been reasonable. “Maybe not ... easily,” he murmured. “But I think there are some who’d talk to me. Some of the adults.” Maybe Brianna McCarthy, or poor Sage, or the woman called Greer and the guy she hung out with a lot. “When we get back, I can try to ask a few of them, see if they’ve noticed anything ... strange.”
"There," Jared said with a faint smile. "We have a plan now and if this doesn't get worse then... At least rapid healing makes the lack of pain a little less scary, yeah?" God he was trying so hard to put up a brave face for Ty and maybe he was succeeding okay since he was a lot more afraid than he was letting on. There was this intense urge to take Ty away from everything but he already had and it hadn't helped. Things were still weird and scary all these hundreds of miles away from Point Pleasant and Jared didn't think putting more distance between them and the town would help. It was in them now, had a grip on their souls and apparently bodies too. Maybe the only way out was through.
“Yeah,” Ty made himself say, even dredging up a small smile for Jared. He wanted to believe it, and he tried to push his logic to the forefront of his mind about it. If part of this was rapid healing, then it was more unlikely that he was sick, right? Or spine-damaged or brain-damaged or whatever other medical boogeyman he was afraid of. Ty hoped that was the case, at least. And that was all he could do at the moment, hope. “Yeah at least ... at least I’m probably not like, hemorrhaging or something.” Ty wet his lips and tried to make that sink in for himself. “Maybe I’m like, invincible now,” he added, huffing a bit to show he knew that was ridiculous. Ty definitely wasn’t going to put it to any test, not until he’d tried to find some answers first.
"Oh God," Jared groaned and shook his head. "Don't go testing the theory, baby, please. My heart can't take it." It did ease some of his worries, like what if Ty got a ruptured appendix and couldn't feel the warning signs until it was too late? But he could all too easily imagine Ty getting too hurt to heal and that was an image he didn't want to revisit. "Remember. You didn't heal instantly," he added. "You bleed quite a bit so you're not invincible. Sorry to be a downer." He knew he was just being realistic and on some level he even knew Ty would never do anything stupid like fling himself off a roof to test a theory but the need to warn him against it was still there, fueled by love and worries and sometimes he thought that with how strong his protective instinct was for Ty, he'd be the most intolerable father in the world.
Ty gave a good-natured roll of his eyes, nodding before Jared was even done. “I know, I know,” he murmured. “I wasn’t serious.” He wasn’t an idiot, he didn’t suddenly think he was bulletproof, he was just trying to tug his thinking away from ‘I’m dying’ and back toward ‘I’m okay.’ It wasn’t really that Jared was being a downer, Ty just didn’t feel like he needed to be patronized with warnings. He was edgy enough. He pulled away, patting Jared’s chest a bit before he backed up a step or two. “So ... we’ve got a plan for when we get back. So let’s just try to enjoy ourselves and put it on the back burner, yeah? You only get one honeymoon.” He offered a small smile that was crooked but genuine.
"I think we deserve another honeymoon down the line," Jared said. "Maybe more than one even, as many as we want." They'd earned that, in his opinion. They'd earned a whole lot of happiness for all the bullshit they'd been through in the last year alone. "But yeah, let's enjoy this one as much as we can. I've still got some fun places to show you around here and once we get out of Texas there's a whole lot of things I ain't seen before." None of them mattered if Ty wasn't there to enjoy them with him, but he was still here and Jared knew that he really needed to let go of some of his pessimism. It was just hard to relax when he'd lost him once already. "You feeling a little better?" he asked quietly, rubbing at Ty's arms, reluctant to fully let go of him.
Nobody could blame them for being jumpy about all of this -- not only had Ty disappeared for months and been presumed dead, whatever was happening to him was just weird. Of course they were nervous, of course Jared was especially nervous. Ty wished he’d never gotten it into his head to go investigate the fabric on that hill. Goddamn stupid rocks. He didn’t want to know about any of this until they were back home already. It was too late now though, and he had to slow his roll and be patient and put real intention into making the most of this time they had. Ty let out a weird little laugh at the question, really not sure how to answer for a moment. “I don’t know,” he finally said, giving Jared a helpless look. “I really don’t. Let’s -- do you want breakfast? Let me make you something, I need something to do.”
"I'll let you make breakfast and do the dishes if that's what you need," Jared said, deliberately tongue in cheek in hopes to lighten the mood a fraction. His smile faded fast though and he reached up to ruffle Ty's hair. "For now this only means I have to keep a closer eye on you, that's all." He wondered if Ty could still feel too much cold or heat even if they might not hurt him but he didn't exactly feel like experimenting on him. Maybe they'd both feel up to it later but right now this whole thing was just scary and bewildering. "Unless you want to try to contact some of those people from here." He doubted it, this really seemed like a face to face sort of conversation to have but if it helped ease Ty's mind then it might not be a bad idea to get in touch with those who'd been through the same thing.
The idea of Jared having to keep a ‘closer eye’ on him like he was a toddler sent a flash of irritation through Ty, especially combined with the hair ruffle. He knew it came from a good place, he really did, but he did not want to be coddled. He stepped a little further away as he swallowed it down, aware his anger had more to do with the situation than with Jared. “No,” he said, his tone a bit short as he looked away. “It can wait. ... and I survived a lot worse than this, pretty much on my own, you know? So don’t -- don’t baby me, okay? I’m not gonna start puttin’ my face on a hot stove or, or stick my fingers in a light socket just to see if I feel it. I’m not accident prone, and this isn’t gonna make me accident prone.” He felt like he was saying it to himself too, an agitated reassurance that he wasn’t going to spontaneously start accidentally chopping his fingers off or slipping in the shower. He was fine, he would be fine.
"You're right," Jared said softly, recognizing the reaction for what it was and not really taking it to heart beyond the faint regret for going there in the first place. "I meant more... If I start feeling like I'm getting a sunburn, I'll let you know the sun's too strong. You don't need babysitting but I've got your back." Maybe even that wouldn't be necessary if Ty could tell things were hot or cold, he could suss it out for himself with or without pain. "You can baby me today though, I'm hungry and you promised me some food." He cocked a brow playfully, again trying to ease some of that tension. Of course the image of Ty putting his face on the stove was now stuck in his head but he knew better than to believe that would happen, it was just irrational fear and at least this one had no basis in reality.
Ty instantly felt more settled, and it was a welcome reminder of why he’d married this man. Part of the whole picture, at least. Jared got him and he listened, and the aggravation was quickly replaced with stupidly intense gratitude and love that made him feel emotional in a totally different way. He scrubbed his hands over his face and let out an unsteady little laugh, still smiling when he let his arms drop. “I did, didn’t I,” he said, stepping in close to wrap his arms around Jared again. He gave him a tight hug, and planted a firm kiss on his lips. “Bacon and eggs?” he asked. They didn’t have a ton of options, given their tiny kitchenette and the capacity of the small fridge, but there was cereal and a few other things. Ty felt like cooking though, going through a process he could concentrate on.
"That sounds good," Jared replied and while it did sound better than just straight up cereal he also knew that having something to do might help Ty cope for now. Jared was much the same and that fact made him look forward to going back to work at times, it had been a long time and he hadn't done a whole lot to keep busy while Ty was gone aside from losing himself on hikes and feeling depressed. He refused to go down that road now that he had Ty back and he reminded himself that they had been afraid before, that things had seemed bleak and dangerous on numerous occasions and they'd gotten through it then. They'd get through this too. "I'll put some music on and we'll have a damn good morning, deal?"
“Deal,” Ty agreed. He snuck one more kiss to Jared’s lips, then released him to head back to the RV steps and climb inside. They could have a damn good morning. They could have a damn good honeymoon in general, in spite of whatever was going on inside Ty’s body. He didn’t feel bad, and if this development hadn’t been likely associated with the worst time in his life, he would’ve been pretty amazed and impressed with himself. It hadn’t been obvious to him through all of the rush and excitement of wedding planning and being with Jared again so much, but Ty knew in the back of his mind that he had felt kind of different. Like something in him had changed. Ty had been dismissing it as trauma and worry, but what if it was this? No pain and fast healing wasn’t too bad as far as mutations went, he supposed. He could think of much worse. In the tiny kitchen, he started pulling out supplies to make breakfast and attempted to put it all out of his mind.
After getting the radio going, Jared busied himself with getting their outdoor dining area set up. It was a beautiful day and it made sense to eat outside. It also kept him busy and busy was good when stupid things were weighing on his mind. There was an urge to do things quickly, to push on and keep moving and he was consciously battling that panicked response by doing things slowly, making sure they took their time and didn't leave this spot until the next morning like they'd planned. "Smells good," he said as he poked his head in to check on Ty. It smelled ready so he headed inside to give him a hand with bringing everything outside, fighting the urge to check Ty's hands for burns because his man wasn't a dumb toddler who needed supervising and Jared wasn't going to treat him like one.
The music outside was another nice little distraction, and by the time the eye of the small stove had heated up, Ty felt a little better. While he was in there alone, he took a moment to slowly bring his hand closer and closer to the heat source, just to test how it felt. It was so odd to feel the heat increasing with no pain tied to it. Ty truly felt like he could just press his hand down on the stove eye and not feel anything but hotness. He wasn’t crazy enough to do it, of course, and he didn’t linger with his skin too close to the metal. It was just a small relief to know he could still feel temperature. He went on cooking, and smiled as Jared came in to help carry their breakfast once it was ready. It was truly a beautiful day, and sitting down in it with the scent of bacon and eggs and fresh coffee in front of his face was nice. “So, more hiking today?” he suggested, glancing up as he picked up his fork. “The park guy said there was a nice little falls not too far down one trail.”
Jared nodded and pushed aside the thoughts that hiking had gotten Ty hurt, that they'd discovered this new turn of events on a hike and something more terrible could happen on the next one. This was the plan, more hiking, so he was sticking to the plan for better or worse. "If you feel up to it then hell yeah," he said jovially. "Let's just not go investigate strange things down steep slopes." He paused, arching his brows playfully. "Now that's a tongue-twister, sleep stopes." He didn't want to linger in the fretting but he still felt the need to say it so a little tangent felt like a good thing to go on. "Dad used to know a lot of those tongue twisters, Imma need to re-learn them all for when we bring our future kids on hikes."
Ty chuckled, glad that Jared hadn’t argued in favor of just staying safely in bed all day or something. “Tongue twisters, horrible dad jokes, nuggets of wisdom mixed in there ... you’ll do great,” he said, shooting Jared a fond smile. It was good to think about the future, the one they actually wanted, with kids and a comfy house and the leisure time to take said kids on hikes. Maybe a dog or two. It all seemed too idyllic to come true, in a way, but Ty was going to cling to that vision of their family for as long as he could. It always made him emotional to think of Jared being a dad, and he got that familiar little sting in his nose, thinking about his man toting a kid around on his big shoulders through the woods. “My dad had some corny-ass sayings, but he was usually more quick with lectures than jokes. I wanna laugh a lot, with our kids.”
"We will," Jared promised with a smile and he could at least be sure he'd had a good role model to look up to there. It was such a bittersweet thing, remembering his dad, happy memories tinged with old grief but thankfully time had mellowed the bad feelings about losing him. "I'll prepare with dumb jokes and weird facts every night." He tittered, thinking of it like homework when it was probably just something that would come to him, effortlessly. He'd been a fan of puns and dad-jokes for a long time, he could imagine that would only escalate when he actually had kids. "There's probably some things we need to talk about before the time comes, that we're on the same page," he speculated since this future dream was so much nicer to talk about than the fear of their present state. "Like not getting our kids stuck in a loop of 'go ask your dad'."
He grinned over the mental image of Jared tucking in a child, tickling them and telling them random stuff about the world. It made Ty’s heart squeeze in the best sort of way. He wanted to be there, settled into a loving routine, with all of this shit far behind him. He could see it so clearly, and he had to hang onto that hope for the future. The last bit made him give a short laugh around his eggs, and he picked up his coffee to wash his food down. “Only one ‘go ask your dad’ allowed per day,” he suggested with a little grin. “If you get a child punted back to you, you gotta deal with it.” He was sure their kids would quickly figure out which dad could be suckered into doing or giving whatever they wanted at the time, so Jared was right they needed to be aligned with certain things. “What else did you have in mind?”
"I don't know," Jared admitted. "I guess we'll deal with it all as it comes along. I'm just daydreaming. Kinda wish we could have biological kids together but uh, that'd probably be creepy if it was possible. I think we'd have cute kids though. I just don't wanna argue with you on school or some petty shit like that. So I hope we keep being on the same page like we usually are." He was getting ahead of himself and he knew it but that was okay, it was just a daydream right now and one that seemed to cheer both of them up. Ty's expression had softened and he was smiling so that was a good sign. "No dumb names," he said quickly, the one thing that came to mind that he was sure they agreed on. "No Precious or Mercedes, please."
Ty didn’t think there were very many major things they disagreed on -- they’d had plenty of talks about their beliefs and politics and where they stood on various issues, and he felt like they were well aligned. He laughed at the name thing and decided to be nice and not accuse Jared of saying that because he was black. “You know if we adopt, they’ll already have names,” he teased instead, grinning at Jared. “It’s not like a dog you get to rename. But if we get a surrogate kind of situation ... agreed, no dumb names. You’re damn right we would have cute kids together. The fuckin’ cutest.” He took another sip of coffee and hummed as another idea struck him. “No spanking. That generational curse ends with us.”
"Yes," Jared replied empathically. "No spanking. If they're not old enough to be talked to, they're not old enough to understand why they're being spanked in the first place." He knew there were a lot of ways to be a parent and a great deal of disagreements on what method was best, but he for one had no desire to hit his children under any circumstances. "And if we adopt them very young they might not have names yet, but I'm okay with adopting older, just so that's out there. It'll be harder but a lot of things worthwhile are hard."
He’d known that Jared would agree on that point, but it was still satisfying to hear just how hard he agreed. Ty had been spanked as a child, and now that he was an adult he felt like it did more harm than good, for everyone involved. Considering how physically large both of them were, it made Ty a little sick to think of any child under their care being afraid of them. He grinned easily at what Jared said. “You want a baby, don’t you,” he murmured, not really making it a question. Ty hadn’t gotten that far in thinking about it, but imagining Jared cradling a tiny baby in his big hands made him want to see it for himself so bad. “I know we’re a long way away from making that kind of decision, but ... I kinda want a baby too,” he said, unable to stop smiling.
"Yeah, I mean... Yeah," Jared replied and laughed a bit. "But that's more complicated for its own reasons and you know, pros and cons and availability and all that. I know we'll prepare ourselves for whatever we end up doing so I'm not really worried, I just can't imagine not being a dad one day, you know?" As much as he loved Ty, he knew he would feel a bit like he was missing out on actually being there for the pregnancy but who knew, maybe they'd end up adopting an infant and get to know the mother, he really had no way of knowing now what time would bring. "With how much I already love you, I worry that seeing you with a baby might just be too much for me and my heart would explode," he murmured, nudging Ty's foot under their little foldable table. "But yeah, that's what I want."
Ty still had no idea what he wanted to do with his life now, as far as a career went. Once they did have children to tend to, they would have to have a more stable schedule than the police work in Point Pleasant usually allowed for. He didn’t even know if he was fit to be a cop anymore, especially in their town. He knew he had time to decide, but at the moment the thought of just being a stay-at-home dad, taking care of things while Jared worked, was kind of appealing. Ty laughed softly at what Jared said, flashing him a bright grin as he nudged him back. “We’re gonna make that kid an orphan right off the bat then,” he said lightly. “‘Cause ... yeah, heart-explody feelings even just thinking about it.” At least he wasn’t alone in that. Ty forked up some more food to pop into his mouth, feeling better than he had all morning.
Jared could tell that he'd been successful in his tangent and it made him feel better in turn, eyes crinkling as he grinned back at Ty. "I love you so fucking much," he told him. "Kids or no kids. You are my family. And I'm gonna have to work on that cussing when we do have kids." He pulled a face at the thought but it was short lived, quickly replaced with a smile. "At least until they're old enough to understand 'don't use bad words in front of grandma'." It made him wonder if Ty's mom would be excited about having grandkids, even if it was in a same sex relationship. He wasn't sure where he had her now, he'd been thrilled when she attended the wedding against all odds but would her newfound support fade once kids were involved? He didn't really want to ask if Ty knew, not wanting to sour the mood.
He chuckled and nodded. “You and me both. We’re gonna need a swear jar or something. Save up vacation money.” Ty chuckled. A lot of things would change for them when kids came in the picture, but there was still a while before that came about, so they had time to prepare for that kind of thing. Ty knew they were getting ahead of themselves, but it felt good to do, and he didn’t think it was a bad thing to dream out loud about the future they both wanted. They both needed good things to look forward to at this point in their lives. He finished up what was on his plate and set it down on the little table between them, leaning back in his camping chair with a content sigh. “I wanna do stuff like this with them too,” he murmured, gazing out at the trees around them. “More outside stuff than I got. It’s like ... grounding. Sorta humbling.”
"Going hiking and hunting are some of my best memories from my childhood," Jared said and he could already feel the nostalgia lapping at his mind. "At a certain age I didn't really wanna go but I always ended up enjoying it. I can't imagine having kids and not doing this. Go fishing too, teach them all about tackles." He tilted his head at Ty. "You know anything about tackles? I could teach you too. I used to make them myself when I went fishing more often, it's a decent hobby." And the more he thought about it the more he felt like he should start again, it was a much needed relaxation time after some of the crazy shit Point Pleasant threw his way.
Ty grinned just because it was a silly-sounding word to him, and shook his head a bit as he looked over at Jared. “I am clueless about tackles,” he told him. “Except like, tackles in football, but something tells me that’s not what you mean.” Sometimes he wished his dad had been the kind of man to take his kid into the great outdoors to learn survival skills and the like. Ty could’ve joined the Boy Scouts, he guessed, but he’d never really been interested. He and his dad had bonded over sports and that was about the extent of it, and even that connection had suffered after Ty had been outed. His dad had struggled to understand how his athletic, masculine son could be gay. He’d already promised himself dozens of times that his kids were going to know every day that they were loved no matter who they ended up becoming. “I didn’t know fishing could be so creative, I wanna see what you can make.”
"Well, you're gonna have to wait until we're in our house and unpacking boxes," Jared replied with an easy smile, the thought of moving in together always one to make him feel warm on the inside. "Tackles, also known as lures, hard bait lures, poppers, spooks. I make spinners, they're really easy and colorful and you don't have to travel with a bucket of worms to lure in the fish. Man, I haven't done that in years though, a decade probably. What even is time, you know?" He was pretty sure he still had the box somewhere in their u-haul, buried under his other belongings and that was something he'd always held onto, in case he got a kid who was into that and could learn and benefit from doing it.
He chuckled softly over the names -- some of those sounded like street drugs to his cop brain. Ty liked the idea of Jared hunched over a work table, making something small and colorful with those big hands. “It just keeps on rolling along at its own pace,” Ty murmured in agreement. Sometimes it felt lightning-fast, sometimes it dragged, it was all so dependent. He fell quiet for a moment, enjoying the fresh air and the nature morning-sounds, stretching his legs out in front of him to cross at the ankles. If it wasn’t for the big weird elephant in the room, so to speak, it would’ve been the perfect day. Ty just wanted to think about it as little as possible and let his anxiety die down. He hoped that Jared was on board with that too, at least for a while. “We’ll need a house with a garage,” he murmured absently. “Or a basement.”
"Both," Jared agreed. "A big garage or a garage and a garden shed. Somewhere we store our car and work with our hands and build stuff." He was sure that was something he could get into, fixing things up and creating new things, that kind of activity just tended to make a mess so it'd be good to have a place separate from their house. He wanted a basement too, but for very different reasons that had nothing to do with the happy thoughts they were clinging to at the moment so he wasn't going to bring them up, but it absolutely brought up memories of hiding in the gym with Carson, terrified of the giant shadows roaming outside.
“Sounds perfect.” Hell, if they bought a house just a bit outside of town, they could have a garage, a shed, a barn, as many outbuildings on their property as they wanted. Ty had never really had any hobbies that required that sort of space, but maybe he could pick some up. His life had kind of had a big, hard reset, and he had this sense of being directionless that was scary and hopeful at the same time. Ty could be anybody he wanted to be now, and he wasn’t sure who that was, beyond being married to Jared Gaines. He’d done that part, now what? As long as this weird new development didn’t derail everything, that was. Ty didn’t even want to think about it. He turned a smile on Jared, sighed softly, and then got up to get their dishes to take into the RV to wash off.
Jared let him deal with it, even if he was the one who'd done the cooking. Not only did he know it'd help him to have things to do, Jared had a love hate relationship with the RV and if he was in there, he preferred to be sitting or lying down since that vehicle was not built for someone as tall as him - hell, it was barely built for someone as tall as Ty. He playfully patted Ty's ass when he passed him, then sprawled a bit in his plastic chair, gazing out at the green around them. He'd much rather daydream about what kind of house they were going to get than think about what was currently happening and so he fished his phone out of his pocket to once again go over the listings in Point Pleasant. A lot of them were out of his price range, and a lot he'd already looked at a few times, but dreaming was free and he started looking at pictures of the couple of Overlook houses that were actually for sale. He wasn't sure he'd want to live in that neighborhood but he had to admit those houses were nothing to scoff at.
Ty busied himself until they were ready to set out for the day. He had the feeling that was something he was going to be doing a lot more of -- keeping busy. Idle hands meant too much thinking, and he didn’t want to get trapped there. At least until he was reassured that whatever was happening inside of his body wasn’t killing him. That cloud hung over both of them, but they managed to have a pretty good day in spite of it, taking in some more gorgeous scenery and getting some exercise, even chatting with a few of the other people camping in the area. The worry was at least pushed to the back of Ty’s mind, and that was all he could hope for at the moment.