Reza Mansour (aswritten) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2021-02-17 19:12:00 |
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Entry tags: | #june 2018, reza, reza x shane, shane |
Who: Reza & Shane
Where: Overlook
When: Tuesday noon, June 5th
Warning: NSFW
Status: Part 2, complete
Shane was pretty damn good at smothering most his emotions, he'd learned that pretty early on but joy, sex and anger were still on the table and sometimes they got all mixed up in his head. Reza made him feel something else and he didn't try to find the name for it, just let it be. It was so nicely wrapped up with sex that it was easy to just categorize it as pure physical attraction but it was still more and they both knew that by now. The way Reza touched him, pressed against him and kissed him made that other alien feeling bloom hot and huge and his chest but that was okay because his cock was also feeling much the same way and that was easier to focus on. Reza always fit so perfectly on his lap and Shane kind of wished one of them had the ability to teleport them because he didn't want to get up and go anywhere but he also wanted to have Reza in bed right now.
Reza didn’t need the bed, and he didn’t want to spend the time traveling to the bed. He wanted Shane now, with a desperation he usually had to be drunk to feel. He felt drunk on emotions instead, a churning mix of good and bad, though the good outweighed the bad. All of it felt very intense, but that seemed right considering the talk they’d just had. Reza kissed Shane deeply, fingers flexing and tugging in his hair. His hips started rocking of their own accord, his body hungry for heat and friction. After a moment he broke the kiss off and leaned back enough to pull his t-shirt up and off, before he reached for Shane’s to do the same. “I need you to fuck me,” he breathed. It was a big house with a lot of soft surfaces, but Shane had bent him over the table and the counter more than once, and they kept a bottle of lube handy for just such occasions. Reza started to glance around for it on the counters.
"Are you going all power-bottom on me?" Shane asked with a teasing smile but fuck if he didn't feel the same amount of intensity and eagerness and it was only amplified by the fact they were half naked in no time, Reza's warm skin flush against his own, his jeans feeling horribly constrictive now. "I'll fuck you anywhere you want," he added, leaning forward to nibble on Reza's neck. He had the advantage that he knew exactly where the lube was and while it wasn't within sight, it was very nearly within reach, hidden away in one of the drawers. "Anytime you want," he added with another nibble. "And any fucking way you want." He snuck his hand between them as he spoke, nimbly undoing the buttons of Reza's pants before rubbing him through the fabric of his underwear.
Reza wished he could make the rest of their clothes disappear. Why hadn’t he been born with different talents? He felt a little wild -- the ‘power’ part of power-bottom definitely rang true at the moment. He wanted Shane buried balls deep in him already, and the feel of his teeth against Reza’s neck sent delicious chills down his back. Reza’s head rocked back and he let out a low moan as Shane’s hand made contact with his cock. His hips pushed up toward the touch and he ran his hands restlessly over Shane’s shoulders and upper back. “I want to sit on your cock and ride the hell out of you,” he murmured, fingers raking up to pull at his hair again. “Where’d you leave the lube last?”
"That drawer," Shane murmured and slung one arm out to point though he still clung tightly to Reza with his other. he supposed he should let him up if they wanted to get the lube and the rest of their clothes off but he felt reluctant to anyway, the urge to hold Reza close and kiss him just as strong as the urge to fuck him was. He couldn't promise he'd sit still for this ride, too hooked on taking control, but it did appeal to him to start there. "Before you go get it, stand up right here," he murmured, gripping Reza's hips and nudging his pants down a bit.
Even though it was close, it was terribly far away, and Reza gave a little groan of protest against the unfairness of dimensional space. And he was the one on top of Shane, so of course it was his duty to be the one to get it. He stood up when Shane urged him to, backing up a step when Shane started to tug his pants down. He was glad he hadn’t put on shoes and had loose, comfy stuff on, because he was dying to be naked now. He stepped out of the rest of his clothes as Shane pooled them around his feet and straightened his back, feeling sexy and kind of on display, his cock bobbing a bit in front of him. It was aching to be touched, and Reza reached down to give it a couple of slow strokes, mostly for show.
There were a few things that really made Shane happy and having a naked man in front of him like this was definitely one of them. He grabbed Reza's wrist and pulled his hand away with a disapproving click of his tongue, then pulled him in closer and pressed a kiss to his abdomen before working his way down and taking his cock between his lips. His hands roamed slowly over Reza's hips and came to a stop on his ass, squeezing his cheeks as he sucked him in deeper. As much as the idea of Reza riding him appealed, he wasn't quite ready to give up control, not after he already felt like he did by running his mouth as much as he had. No, he was controlling the pace for now and he knew he had the upper hand when it came to physical strength though he wouldn't use that against Reza except playfully.
Even the antsy frustration that rolled through Reza felt good at the moment, like it just increased the erotic tension inside him. He didn’t try to wrestle control back from Shane, at least not right then, too engrossed in what Shane was doing to him. Reza let out a breathy moan as his cock first slipped into Shane’s mouth, fingers sliding loosely through his hair. As much as Reza wanted to get fucked, he couldn’t bring himself to rush through this part, and it seemed like Shane didn’t want to let him anyway. Reza’s eyes slipped closed as he began that tug of war of relishing every sensation and not enjoying it too much.
Shane felt that rush of antsy feelings himself for different reasons, he just wanted to do too many things at once and while there was no rush to get there, he still felt like there was; like it might all slip through his fingers before he had time to relish it. It was probably leftovers from his fear of Reza leaving, that desperate feeling that he had to take what he could get while he could still get it. Reza wasn't going anywhere, he reminded himself, and they had nowhere to be on a day like this with the rumbling thunder outside and the pouring rain beating on the windows making for a sweet background noise. He didn't take his time though, even if he knew he could. He sucked and licked at Reza for just long enough to get him a little breathless, then pulled back and got to his feet, crushing his lips to Reza's in a hungry kiss as he got rid of his jeans and socks. That was what he really wanted, to be fully naked with Reza, to fuck the living daylight out of him, to claim him all over again and assert control.
They could have a lovely leisurely time with it, of course, go up to the bedroom and spread out and take their time driving each other crazy until they both exploded -- and maybe they would do that for the rest of the day after this first round. Currently, Reza didn’t have the patience for that. There was a primal sort of need pulsing inside of him at the moment, and Shane couldn’t get naked fast enough for him. Reza kissed him hungrily, groaning soft in his throat as Shane finished stripping. He wrapped both arms around Shane to pull their bodies flush together for a moment, the hot press of Shane’s cock against his skin sending flutters through his stomach. He desperately wanted it inside of him, everything in him pushing for immediate closeness, to be filled and owned by Shane, to solidify this new level of intimacy they’d jumped to while it stormed outside. Reza forced himself to break the kiss and move away just enough to reach for the drawer that held the bottle of lube.
"Where do you think you're going," Shane started grumbling playfully when Reza pulled away but then he saw what he was doing and let out a little laugh. "So impatient," he muttered and grabbed Reza by the hips, lifting him effortlessly up on the kitchen table and nudging his legs apart so he could step between them. He kissed Reza again, pulling him to the edge of the table to rub their cocks together then snagged the bottle from Reza's hand. "Can't wait, can you," he asked against Reza's lips but it might as well have been a statement because he couldn't wait either. He'd been so sure this talk would end up joining the parade of shitty moments in his life, having it turn around and actually feel good had his mind reeling. Leave it to Reza to be unpredictable and far more dangerous than his slender frame and soft bedroom eyes indicated.
Reza gave a little grunt as he was lifted and put on the table, a sound that turned into a faint chuckle. It would’ve been annoying and patronizing in any other context, but in this one it was just hot as fuck. Reza wrapped his legs around Shane’s hips as they kissed, happy to give up the lube as long as it got used soon. He felt like he was crawling out of his skin with need, even a bit frustrated with Shane seemingly dragging his feet. It was a sexy kind of frustration, at least. “I need you,” he whispered, then nipped a bit at Shane’s bottom lip, running his hands over the other man’s skin. “Please,” Reza added in a soft moan. If Shane wanted to hear him beg for it, Reza would give that to him.
Shane really didn't need to be begged but it sure as hell didn't hurt to hear it, the words seemingly going straight to his cock. "You need me," he said with a hint of tease in his voice but god did he love it too and he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel the same. "You got me," he added as he opened the bottle and stepped back just enough to start lubing himself up, then slicking up his hand to take care of Reza. He'd barely gotten that done when the damn bottle slipped from his hand and went bouncing off on the kitchen table, leaving a mess. "Fuck," Shane grumbled, though he wasn't really bothered and he didn't stop what he was doing. "Guess we'll have to buy more." It was funny because he had lost count of the bottles they had hidden around the house and he grinned faintly against Reza's lips as he slipped his fingers behind his balls, his free hand pushing on his chest to get him to lean back a little to give him space.
He huffed a soft sound of amusement as the lube went flying, though he didn’t really give a shit. They’d bought in bulk not long after arriving so they could squirrel some away all over the house, it was easily replaced. What mattered was that Shane had gotten enough, and it definitely felt like enough from Reza’s end, as Shane’s fingers found that most sensitive spot. Reza laid back as he was urged, though he put one elbow back to lean on, wanting to keep watching everything Shane was doing. Reza tried to open his legs wider, make himself easier to reach, his cock thick and flushed against his lower belly, throbbing a little with that pleasant anticipatory neglect.
"Look at that gorgeous fucking cock," Shane murmured quietly as his fingers worked their way inside Reza, slicking him up for what was to come. He didn't really have the patience to take long so it was a good thing he didn't need to. He slipped his fingers along Reza's cock as he lined himself against him and pushed inside, going far slower than he wanted to more because he was kind of feeding on Reza's impatience and that hunger burning in his eyes. Reza's cock twitched under his touch and it pleased Shane on some deep level, that reaction, the way it looked, the way it felt against his fingertips. "How have I only ever fucked you once on this table before?" he huffed because this was kind of perfect. Then again, every damn place he'd fucked Reza so far had felt perfect except maybe the floor but Reza more than made up for that.
Shane’s fingers felt like a cruel and unusual and incredibly hot tease against his cock, and Reza couldn’t help but give a little squirm and a soft whine. Everything felt good, but none of it felt like enough -- until Shane started to push inside of him, at least. That insistent pressure and the way it slowly forced his body to accept it was somehow what he needed, pleasure wrapped in discomfort. Reza let his head fall back and his eyes close as he soaked it in and relaxed into it, a tiny gasp escaping him as the thickest part of Shane’s cock slid home. The question sounded more rhetorical than anything, so he didn’t bother giving it much thought. They were both sensual creatures of comfort, so beds and couches were more preferable to hard surfaces, but he had to admit the height of the table was pretty perfect. Reza laid back fully on the table, one arm reaching up to grip the far edge of it above his head, the other hand moving to grip Shane’s forearm. “Gods, you feel so fucking good,” he breathed, not really able to be coherent about anything else.
It was highly unlikely someone could see them through the kitchen windows, even if they were the big kind that let the light in. There was a lot of private property around the house and in this weather it'd have to be a lunatic pressed against the glass to see a damn thing. Shane still liked the idea that someone could somehow see them and watch him ravish Reza and in a way he was being his own voyeur, imagining easily how hot it looked from that angle, to see Reza stretched out like that, his legs wrapped around Shane, his back arching just so. It made him want to film himself fucking Reza, but he couldn't imagine ever wanting to watch it if Reza wasn't there nor would he ever want to share it with anyone. It drove home yet again just how weird Reza made him feel and he groaned as he pushed home, batting those pesky thoughts away. "You have no idea how good I feel," he grunted quietly, a dumb play on Reza's words and maybe he felt a little bratty as he ducked down and pulled Reza's leg up just enough to nibble on his calf.
Reza wasn’t even thinking about the windows, though if he had been he wouldn’t have minded if they had a whole audience out there. Having sex with Shane always made him feel hot and peacock-y and he knew they could probably make a fortune making porn, if that was something they’d be inclined to do. Reza didn’t know if Shane wanted to share him like that though ... which was also hot. He enjoyed feeling like he belonged to Shane, and he certainly felt that way now, stretched out for him like a buffet, his ass full of his lover. His spine rolled gently as he ground against Shane, working the thickness inside of him to get his body used to it all over again. It wouldn’t take long until it started to make him melt with pleasure, but in the meantime he was enjoying that intense pressure too.
Shane let Reza control the pace for a few moments, his tongue toying with his lip as he watched his body move like a dancer's against him, all lean and wiry and tan. He kept stroking his cock but with no real pressure, wanting Reza desperate for it, wanting him to last longer than Shane would this time. He suddenly wanted to do this outside, to get filthy and soaked in the garden with rain beating down on their bodies. It made for a hot mental image but he wasn't so sure it would be as hot for real. Something about the storm enhanced how he was feeling though and every rumble of thunder seemed to resonate deep inside of him, punctuating the humming need already there. "Fuck, you're always so tight," he groaned, nibbling on Reza's leg again and rubbing his stubble against his skin. "Tell me how good it feels."
They were obviously inside at the moment, but Reza was feeling the power from the storm too, all of that wild air outside, driving the thick clouds and water around. If he enjoyed getting filthy more, he probably would’ve been on board with fucking outdoors in a storm. Shane could keep them warm. He was doing a damn fine job of making Reza hot at the moment, on the kitchen table, and he moaned at the compliment and the demand. It was so hard to think in real words when Shane was buried deep inside of him. “Feels so good,” he murmured, aware that wouldn’t be enough. Reza rolled his hips into a particular angle that made Shane’s cock push against that sweetest spot inside and he groaned again, making a bit more of a show of squirming. “Right there,” Reza breathed. “Makes me leak for you ... fuck, I love being stuffed with your cock, you fill me up so good ...”
That spot 'right there' was for making him come so Shane didn't indulge him with it for more than a few thrusts before he went for a different angle, a far more selfish one. "Good boy," he groaned quietly, gripping the base of Reza's cock tightly as he picked up speed. "You make me so fucking hard." And soft, he added silently because damn if Reza didn't hit some weird spot inside of him that made him all stupid. It was obviously mutual or Reza would have left by now and not stripped down and demanded his cock. God, Shane was hooked on him, he wanted to keep him talking - or, better yet, moaning - his voice alone was right up there with the tightness of his body in how good it made Shane feel. "You don't get to come yet," he panted, working himself up to his own climax far faster than he was used to. "So don't you dare."
Even if Shane wasn’t fucking him at the ‘right’ angle, it still felt stupidly good, and Reza’s face and sounds reflrected that. At least Shane was actually thrusting now instead of teasing, but the low unmoving grip on his cock was still a pleasant torture that he couldn’t help bucking agaisnt every so often. The further he sank into it, the more his control on his magic loosened up, and the sounds of their panting and skin slapping together got louder and more robust, mingling with the driving rain and thunder from outside. Reza’s eyes popped open again at the last part and he let out a whine that was so much needier than he’d meant it to be. He wasn’t on the edge of climax yet so he could hold back, but gods he didn’t want to. It felt like Shane was getting there himself pretty quickly, and he was going to deny him? “No,” Reza whimpered, one hand moving to clutch at Shane’s forearm. “Please, I wanna come on your cock so bad, Shane, please ...”
Shane knew from experience that he could keep going and Reza knew that by now too but he still felt some sadistic glee when Reza begged, especially when he then got to say, "No." His grin wasn't wholly sadistic, too mixed with pleasure to manage that particular edge but he still felt it like a little rush going through him. "Not yet," he breathed and he so often denied himself this, slowed himself down and made himself last to make it good. Not today. Today he wanted it fast and hot, bonus points for making Reza worry a little and then he could keep him teetering on that edge for as long as he wanted. It'd be easier if he'd actually tied him up but they still hadn't actually indulged in those sorts of games, always too carried away with lust to really plan for anything but a steaming hot fuck. It wasn't disappointing so much as it was a testimony to their chemistry but Shane actually felt like playing now and he pressed his thumb against that spot on Reza's cock that would keep him from coming if he refused to obey.
The ‘yet’ was promising at least, and Reza did know that Shane still had that teenager stamina and his cock was quick enough to recover that they didn’t even need a break. But being denied his own pleasure so rudely was still new and played into the frustration that had just started to subside when Shane really began to fuck him. It reared up again, demanding but oddly erotic, and Reza felt that pressure in his chest expand outward into the air around them, pushing the effects of his magic higher. There was nowhere else for it to go. Shane’s breathing was so loud to his ears it seemed to be in his own lungs. Reza’s head thunked back against the table and he reached to grip the edge of it with both hands, his arms partly covering his face as he resigned himself to being fucked until Shane was done with him. The surrender made his cock throb even more needily, a feeling he both loved and hated. He moaned and writhed when he felt like he needed to, restless and captive and probably just what Shane wanted.
It was so easy to come with someone as hot as Reza and all the pent up emotions and Reza's magic only heightened the pleasure, sending Shane spiraling within moments. He tried to focus on Reza, not wanting to lose the control he had, but it was easier said than done when the throes of climax took him over. He felt like he was living inside of Reza's voice somehow, like it was a tangible warm thing that embraced and caressed him and he knew that wouldn't stop just because he came because Shane was nowhere near letting Reza come so the magic might just get stronger. Shane was breathless and moaning as he came back down from that first climax, relieved to see Reza hadn't come too even if Shane hadn't had the wherewithal to keep up that denying pressure. "Good boy," he groaned as he readjusted his grip and started slowly stroking Reza's cock. His own voice sounded so strange in the midst of Reza's magic and he didn't think he'd ever get used to that feeling but fuck if he didn't love it. "Don't hide your face from me."
Even frustrated and needy, it was always hot as fuck to feel Shane peak inside of him, and Reza relished those hard thrusts of his cock and the extra slick warmth that followed. It was so much faster than usual that it made him feel kind of dirty and used, which was sexy in the moment but also gave him some confused feelings in the context of their fight the day before and their talk and everything. It crossed his mind to tap out of this now that Shane had gotten his, but the rush of pleasure that came with Shane finally stroking him was pretty persuasive. The sudden change made him gasp and his body jerked, throbbing nerve-endings finally getting some stimulation. He knew somewhere in his mind that if he stopped Shane now he would just end up genuinely pissed off and upset, and he didn’t want that. Reza’s face felt flushed with arousal and a little humiliation as he moved his arms to expose it again, though he stubbornly kept his eyes closed and his grip on the table.
Shane's hips had gone still after his climax but he moved again now, slowly grinding against Reza both to let him feel how hard he still was and to maintain that erection. If Reza wanted to come with Shane's cock inside of him then that was what he was getting, just not yet. He sped up the stroking a little, drinking in every little twitch in Reza's body and when he felt like he was getting him too close to the edge, he stopped and pinched the base of his cock. "Not yet," he murmured and he couldn't stop staring at Reza's face, able to take it all in now that he'd already orgasmed, able to take his time and really watch him without slipping into that mindless pleasure himself. It was a powerful feeling and one he hadn't exercised with Reza before and now he wondered why the hell not. How had he gone so long without really taking in that look on his face, the flush in his cheeks and the tension in his muscles as he teetered on the edge.
Reza usually had a pretty good poker face, but that always flew right out the window when he was in some vulnerable position like this. He could feel Shane’s eyes on him, but he couldn’t help the way his brow furrowed and his expression twisted into a dazed sort of discomfort as Shane edged him. It felt good but it didn’t, he liked it but he didn’t, it was stirring up emotions he didn’t usually associate with sex, and he didn’t know what to do with them at the moment. He’d been unprepared for this rollercoaster. It was just another way that this man had gotten under his skin and burrowed in and made everything so ... messy. But it was a mess he’d signed up for, enthusiastically, not even an hour ago, and Reza wasn’t a quitter. Not usually, anyway. The second or third time Shane dragged him to the line only to push him back, Reza let out a sound that was almost a sob and he gave Shane a desperate look. His balls were swollen and aching and he felt like if he didn’t get to come in the next minute or two he was going to start throwing punches. “Shane, please,” he said through his teeth. “Please, I need it, please stop.”
God, that sound went straight to Shane's balls and while he didn't usually get hopped up on other people's suffering, this was definitely the kind that got him going. It made him feel powerful and in control and wasn't that exactly what he'd needed? Especially when he himself had felt too vulnerable since their fight; maybe a part of him needed to get Reza down on that same level in one way or another and sex really was the best way to deal with anything. "But I like you like this," he murmured and kept his grip on Reza's cock loose and teasing, gradually slowing down. "I don't think you want me to stop," he added, his voice thick with renewed arousal and Reza's cock felt so hard and hot in his hand, like he was burning up, twitching helplessly when Shane withdrew the stimulation. He shifted his hips a little, both to feel that slight friction and to let Reza feel that he was still fully hard inside of him. "You can take this."
Reza had of course meant stop torturing him, stop edging, let him come, and he knew Shane knew that. It didn’t really hurt, he knew he could take it, but suddenly the balance inside of him had tipped toward not wanting to take it. This definitely wasn’t what he’d had in mind when he started pulling Shane’s clothes off with hungry impatience. Not what he’d needed. And now he felt stripped of much more than his clothes, and it wasn’t a position he was used to, and he hadn’t been prepared to submit like this. A high pitched whine had started up in the air, a sound like ringing in the ears, and it got louder until he abruptly reeled everything back in and the effects vanished. Reza propped himself up on one elbow and planted his other hand against Shane’s abs with a firm press. “No, really,” he said. “Let me up.” Reza suddenly realized how stupid it was that they’d never even established a safe word. All of their plays with power dynamics were unspoken, unofficial, non-negotiated. For a second a part of him was worried that Shane wouldn’t stop and then he’d have a whole different problem on his hands.
It was the noise that made Shane realize he'd pushed him too far so he was already fretting before Reza pushed him away, his mood taking a hard turn from sadistic joy to fear by the time Reza sat up. "I thought you liked it," he said defensively as he disengaged, hands up in a surrender pose because god, no way was he going to keep going or stay inside of him when Reza's reaction was making him feel like a rapist creep. They should have had a safe word, should have established one weeks ago considering where they'd met but none of this was planned and he felt like he'd been flung right back into that vulnerable state he'd been trying so desperately to get out of. Except he was the offender here, he'd taken things too far and breached the line of consent and it was Reza who had every right to be angry. "Sorry," he tacked on, the word uncomfortable and alien in his mouth. The talk hadn't driven Reza away, but this would, he was sure of it since he'd never been good at fixing broken things.
He appreciated that Shane let him go immediately, but the appreciation was jumbled together with so much else it was hard to express. Reza knew it looked like a very hard right turn from the outside, and he already knew he should’ve called a time out sooner, but the small wave of relief he got when Shane backed up told him he’d done the right thing. Reza got his feet on the floor again and side-stepped around Shane, his cheeks burning and his eyes averted. “It’s okay, just ... give me a minute,” he muttered. “I need some air.” His erection still bobbing solidly in front of him, parts of his body protesting this turn of events, Reza made for the doors that led outside. The rain was still pouring down but the porch was covered and fairly sheltered from view, and he doubted any neighbors were going to spot him today. He didn’t give a fuck if they did. He took some deep breaths once he was outside, leaving the door open behind him, and tried to slow his racing heart. It was too much to process at once -- learning Shane’s background, some of the things he’d done, the anger of his own reaction to it all, then the compulsion to get even closer and instead being met with ... that. Which was perfectly fine on its surface, something he would’ve probably fully enjoyed normally, when his insides weren’t so stirred up. If he’d known it was coming. Reza rubbed his hands over his face and groaned quietly to himself. And now he had to deal with this, which he knew was valid but still felt kind of stupid for as he cooled down.
Shane didn't know what to do with himself once Reza left. He'd never been good with people which was why one night stands worked far better than friendships and relationships did. The door was open, did that mean Reza wanted him to follow? Should he fuck off and give him space? Shane was usually the one leaving and he felt completely lost as he stood there in the kitchen, naked and sweaty and feeling like a complete bastard. He bit back a curse, not even wanting to whisper it on the off chance Reza's magic was still going haywire and he would hear him. That part was highly annoying right now because he kind of wanted to scream it, maybe knock some things off the kitchen counter. Instead he stood still, mouthing 'fuck' a few times to himself before taking a deep breath. He knew abusive people, he knew he could be difficult but he'd never before seen himself as anything like them. The door was open, that was what it kept coming back to in his mind and eventually he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and stepped out into the doorway. It had been more than a minute but he had no idea if that was enough or if he was fucking up even more by following Reza. "You okay?" he asked hesitantly, ready to hold out the bottle for him in case he turned around.
Reza hadn’t really thought much about the door, his only goal had been to get into the fresh storm air and get some of it into himself. He was still trying to sort through everything he was feeling when he heard Shane’s voice. It gave him a tiny start, but he managed not to flinch. It wasn’t Shane’s fault, not really. Part of Reza had even been enjoying himself, a lot, and how did you explain that to someone else? He restlessly ran his hands through his hair a couple of times before he looked around at Shane. “Yeah,” he said, eyes ticking down to the water bottle in Shane’s hand. Reza took it when it was offered and unscrewed the top to take a sip. He kind of wanted to move in closer, wrap his arms around Shane, seek that comfort, but Reza didn’t know if he could do that, if Shane would understand. But Reza also didn’t want him to think he was pissed at him for real or anything. “Sorry, I just ... hit my limit,” he murmured, giving a vague gesture with his free hand, emotion still clogging his throat a bit.
Shane grimaced and looked out at the rain, feeling awkward and useless and more than a little lost. "Well I kinda pushed you right into it," he muttered. "Your limit." The only way he knew how to fix this was with sex, to lavish Reza with pleasure until he forgave him for withholding it for so long but Reza's body language was not even a little bit inviting. Shane couldn't blame him, he should have stopped sooner but the power trip had been amazing and how could he explain how much Reza's discomfort had turned him on. God, he had wanted him to cry from frustration, make him feel small and helpless before allowing him release. Shane wasn't sure he liked that part of himself much, he sure as hell didn't right now. "It was too much, we never talked about that," he admitted and he wasn't sure at this point which urge was stronger, the urge to leave or the urge to touch Reza. "Do you want to be alone?"
It was good to hear him say those things, Reza was fairly sure he wouldn’t have if he didn’t mean them. Shane looked pretty sheepish and definitely concerned, and that was good to see too. Reza only wanted to see that callous disregard for his wants during sex, under the right circumstances. He had felt small and helpless and it had gotten him all emotional, just not in any way he was prepared for, and everything they’d been through the past couple of days had just made it all sharper. He was still feeling vulnerable enough that Shane’s question made his nose sting, and Reza shook his head to say that he didn’t want to be alone. He probably ought to be so he could pull himself together without making it Shane’s problem, but that didn’t feel right either. After a second’s hesitation, he fully turned toward Shane and moved in closer to slip his arms around him. The hold was light at first, like he really needed to feel Shane return the embrace before he committed to it.
Shane had spent enough time in BDSM clubs to hear about sub drop and dom drop but he'd only ever really understood the former. He didn't know if this particular feeling qualified since it was more shame and disappointment but he felt like he understood better what people meant. He also felt intense relief when Reza moved, instantly wrapping his arms around him before he could overthink it and releasing a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding. "Let me make it up to you," he said quietly and he couldn't help the feeling that this would ruin everything, that he had ruined everything. He'd known Reza was at his limit and he'd kept pushing because he had liked that rush of power. What did that make him? The fact that he was scared didn't help, if Reza didn't matter to him this would only have been annoying and uncomfortable instead of outright terrifying. And what if Reza still decided he'd gone too far, even if he was holding him now. He could still change his mind and decide that staying here wasn't good for him - and he wouldn't be wrong.
Reza knew about sub drop too, but this didn’t feel much like the couple of times he thought he’d experienced that. He didn’t even really consider himself a sub, he just liked to dabble sometimes, with the right partner. He’d done more of it with Shane than anyone else in his life, and he supposed something like this had to happen eventually. Neither of them could read each other’s minds, and there was a lot they hadn’t talked about when it came to kink. Feeling Shane hug him so quick and so tight was reassuring, and some tension left Reza’s body as his own arms tightened around Shane. He obviously cared, and he had stopped immediately once he knew something was wrong, and that meant a lot. Reza pressed their temples together and closed his eyes. “You don’t have to ... do anything,” he murmured softly. He hoped this wouldn’t mean that Shane would treat him like glass now or some shit, he wasn’t fragile, he’d just been unprepared and not into it today. “I liked most of it, it just got ... too much and out of sync with me.”
Shane felt like he could pinpoint exactly where things had gone wrong and that just made it worse, like he'd known and could have avoided it. He couldn't imagine not wanting to come after all that and his instincts were all but screaming at him to make it up to Reza with a mindblowing orgasm. He might have wordlessly acted on it too if it didn't also feel wrong and that just made it all the more confusing. "You sure?" he murmured, rubbing his nose against Reza's short hair. "I can still make you feel good, no games." It felt important to clarify that but maybe he was fundamentally broken thinking he could fix everything with sex. It did make sense to him in this context though so maybe not, he'd fucked up during sex, he could make up for it with more sex? Maybe not. Maybe he should be treading more carefully around Reza since he had no idea exactly what had set him off.
He wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted at the moment, no, but Reza definitely didn’t want any weird apology-sex or anything. He wanted to rewind time and redirect Shane in a better way than getting freaked out about his own feelings. But emotions were uncontrollable by nature and hindsight was always clear, right? The nuzzling felt good, along with Shane’s soft voice in his ear, and Reza could feel that his body hadn’t completely shut down, even if he’d lost his erection by the time Shane had followed him outside. For a moment he tried to assess if he could get aroused again, and decided he could, he just wasn’t sure how to express to Shane what he needed. “Do you still want me?” he whispered as an answer, his hands slowly starting to stroke Shane’s back. There was nothing self-pitying or meek about the question, he just wanted the genuine answer, but there was some need underneath it. Reza wanted to feel connected to him instead of toyed with, especially after their last twenty-four hours.
It was an easy question to answer because yes, Shane wanted him more than he'd ever wanted anyone or anything in his life but that also made it a hard question to answer because that feeling was terrifying. "Yeah," he said quietly, feeling like he should say something more but at the same time anything he might say could come out wrong and cause more problems. He thought again about how he really should want Reza to leave and how much he really didn't want that and it felt like a bowling ball in his gut, heavy and cold. "Please don't leave," he whispered, as quiet as he could, as if he didn't really want Reza to hear it.
Don’t leave? It hit Reza all of the sudden that he wasn’t the only one feeling vulnerable, and he finally intuitively caught on to part of what might have been motivating Shane to be so dominant with him. It had been a hell of a day for Shane too, and control could be intoxicating if you felt like you didn’t have any. He felt like an idiot for not seeing that sooner, but Reza didn’t let himself dwell there. He pulled back enough to look at Shane, a line between his brows, and brought his hands around to cup the other man’s jaw. “Hey,” he murmured softly. “I’m not anywhere even close to that, okay? We just ... got our wires crossed a little. It’s my fault too, I should’ve communicated sooner. I’m not upset with you, you handled it right.” Even if Shane had gotten a little drunk with dom-power in an intense moment, Reza had been enjoying it up until a certain point, so he wasn’t mad at Shane. It felt important to tell him that.
Shane didn't meet his gaze, feeling a little too awkward suddenly, like there were alarms going on inside him warning him that this was too intimate and he needed to abort mission. It was so much easier to be close to someone through sex than through talking and Reza's reassurances just made him want to squirm. He still felt like he could scare him off and he hated that he didn't want to be alone now. Reza really had thrown a wrench into all his plans, turned his life upside down and made him feel all sorts of weird. He had no idea how to navigate from this point onward. "I think we need a safeword," he said since talking about the sex part was easier. "Or something like it. Not a kill switch but a warning." It was either that or no games at all but one of the first things he'd learned about Reza was that he enjoyed power struggle so he didn't think either of them would like that alternative.
Reza sensed that he’d made Shane uncomfortable again, which sucked. He thought he understood why though, and he tried to reel it in a bit, his hands slipping down to Shane’s chest. Reza had to meet him where he was, which was a phrase he’d picked up in therapy, and if it was too much for him, it was too much. “Yeah,” he answered with a little half-smile. “Like the traffic light thing, or like, cold to hot. Something easy with a middle ground.” Reza definitely didn’t want to stop playing around like they did, but now he knew for sure that they needed to set some ground rules and get on the same page. It wasn’t the sexiest thing to do on the surface, but it was probably necessary, especially as the emotions between them got stronger. Reza rubbed his thumbs against Shane’s chest, gaze lingering on his lips. “Later, though. For now ... you should kiss me.”
Shane thought they should maybe establish whether Reza even liked to beg and complain without Shane stopping but he really didn't feel like going into those sorts of details right now, it all felt too raw and he didn't think either of them were in the right mindset for negotiations. He did smile at the traffic light suggestion though, a slight twitch of his lips that smoothed into a somewhat easier smile when Reza said the absolutely right thing. "I should," he agreed and rubbed at Reza's back, meeting his gaze again since this was easier to talk about than the rest of it. Not that he lingered there, he much preferred action to words so he leaned in and kissed him, gentle and chaste at first but in no way hesitant. It just didn't feel right to rush right now and despite the reason they were out there in the first place being awful, it did feel kind of nice now to stand naked outside with Reza.
It was more and more obvious to Reza that Shane communicated best like this, with his body. It wasn’t enough for every situation, obviously, but it worked for some things. Part of him had already known that though, and maybe that had contributed to how strong his reaction had been to all the control and denial. Reza tried to set all of that aside and let them start fresh, his eyes slipping closed as Shane moved in to kiss him. Reza slipped his arms around him again, hands spread against his back. The rain was still coming down hard, the drumming of it against the roof overhead creating a white noise that was soothing to him when he was silent, and he tried to let that peace settle in as his lips caressed Shane’s. The kiss was perfect, nothing demanding or overly cautious about it, and Reza could already feel the pull of their natural chemistry. He was apparently always going to want Shane. After a moment Reza parted his lips to deepen it a bit.
They were finally easing into Shane's comfort zone again and the relief he felt was tangible as he let himself sink into the bliss of the moment, gradually taking control again. He didn't want to fall into the trap of treating Reza differently just because they'd had a bad moment and their chemistry didn't allow for it anyway, kissing Reza was proof of that, stoking his fire again and quickly pushing away those darker emotions. He still wanted to make him come, even if he knew that getting there wouldn't erase what had happened, it would help him put it behind him. It was an almost overwhelming urge to push Reza against the nearest wall and kneel in front of him but he resisted it for now and focused on Reza's body instead, paying attention to the little signs, feeling him ease up and grow hard again.
He could feel both of them slipping back into that warm space as their mouths slowly worked together, and Reza felt some of his own relief. He wanted to get back to those good feelings, but he’d had a tiny sliver of worry that he might feel hesitant inside. He didn’t. He just felt the pressure against his ribs of that desire to be close to Shane. It was probably too eager too soon, asking too much too fast, but Reza was helpless to convince his feelings of anything. He just had to keep them on a tight leash, because that fear he could drive Shane away lived in him too. This helped though, this thing they were usually so good at together. Not having come all the way down from earlier, Reza’s body was eager to react, and he tried to focus on the warmth blooming in his groin and the way Shane’s lips and tongue felt against his own.
Shane let this be enough for as long as he could, telling himself not to rush even if there was still a small part of him feeling antsy and wanting to fix everything in a flash. He touched Reza more, letting his hands slide down to his hips and ass, pulling him in closer as he kissed him hungrily, so grateful that he was there and not angry and not withdrawn. Shane wouldn't have known what to do with that, he barely knew what to do with having Reza there in the first place. "I want to make you feel good," he murmured after a while, tugging on Reza's bottom lip with his teeth. He didn't often outright ask for permission, but it felt right to do so now. "Can I?" He didn't really want to take this inside, didn't want to move from this spot until he felt all the way secure again, as if he might never be able to fix things if he let go now.
Reza didn’t want to go back inside either, like the bad vibes from the kitchen needed to dissipate first. Plus he liked being out in the fresh air and rain. It might have been a little chilly to most other people, but the two of them didn’t need to worry about that. Shane had his internal fire and the temperature of the air itself never made Reza cold. He was heating up inside anyway -- Shane’s hands on his body felt as good as they always did, and he got a sharper jolt of arousal at the soft words and the lip bite. Reza wasn’t oblivious to what it meant that Shane asked first, which in turn meant something to him. “Yeah,” he breathed back, nodding a bit as his hands stroked down Shane’s back and sides again. Reza wanted to feel good, probably even needed to.
Despite the fact he could very clearly feel Reza's body react to him, Shane had been worried he'd say no or 'not right now', bodies didn't always agree with minds and mental states after all. Reza's quiet reply put a little smile on his face, mostly that of relief, and he kissed him again, slipping his hand between their bodies to get a soft grip on Reza's cock. "I only wanna make you feel good," he murmured as he trailed that kiss from his lips and to his ear, like he needed to make sure Reza knew he wasn't about to edge him again or play any more games. That question still rang in his head, did he want him? God, he couldn't even put into words how much he wanted him, how much the thought of losing him now terrified him. He couldn't even be pissed about it for the time being, feeling too raw and lost in this new development, too scared of losing Reza to really focus on how annoying it was to be this weak for him.
Shane didn’t grip him hard, but the hand on his cock still felt electric, and it made Reza’s breath catch. He hadn’t needed to worry about getting aroused again, as it turned out, his body was quick to get sensitive and achy again. Like there was still momentum from the sharp drop it had taken not long ago. “You do make me feel good,” he whispered back, his head tilting to the side a bit, his neck and back tingling from Shane’s mouth near his ear. Fuck, he was just a master at turning Reza on. He’d never had chemistry like this with anyone else in his life, it was addictive. Reza turned his hips slightly to give Shane more room to touch him, his hand moving in to stroke up the other man’s arm.
"Good," Shane murmured and nipped lightly on Reza's neck before slowly trailing his kisses lower. He kept his grip on his cock loose for now, not to tease but because he didn't have any lubrication and this was just the start. It felt like a very delicate balance to not go too fast but not go so slow that it turned into a tease. He peppered little kisses along Reza's chest as he slowly sank to his knees, kissing his stomach and hip and glancing up at him both to check in with him and simply give him a heated look. He lightly brushed his thumb over the tip of Reza's cock as he moved, eventually taking it between his lips, his tongue taking over where his fingers left off.
Reza couldn’t stop touching him as he moved, his hands gliding over Shane’s arms and shoulders and up into his hair as he moved down Reza’s body. He watched the progression with heavy-lidded eyes, his lips slightly parted. The way Shane looked at him made his stomach twist in a very pleasant way. There wasn’t exactly a feeling of power, seeing Shane on his knees in front of him, but it did give him a rush of something strong. Reza let out a heavier breath as Shane’s mouth wrapped around him, the muscles in his hips tightening up. He could feel a drop of precum leak out of him onto Shane’s tongue, and Reza let out a soft moan. Maybe this wasn’t the most functional way to make up, but fuck if it didn’t feel better than talking.
Blowjobs were such a mixed bag for Shane. He didn't always enjoy giving them but when he did, he loved it. With Reza he most definitely loved it for a variety of reasons and the fact Reza had a seriously nice cock played a big role there. The act itself felt like such a strange mix of submission and power and while he'd experienced both emotions when giving, he'd rarely felt them both at the same time. This one felt worshipful, he wanted to make up for using Reza, offer himself up to be used too but Reza wasn't leaning into that potential spiteful power struggle and Shane was glad for it. It made this feel more like an act of adoration instead of meek apology and the way Reza looked at him and twitched in his mouth made his stomach clench pleasantly. He was good at this and he knew it, playing Reza's body with expertise, fondling his balls gently with one hand as the other stroked Reza's hip and ass, pulling him in deeper.
It didn’t even occur to Reza to go for any kind of ‘revenge’ with Shane on his knees, he wasn’t that insensitive and he didn’t really get off on being forceful anyway. Being worshipped and adored though? That was more to his tastes. The soft ways that Shane was touching him felt more reverent than cautious, and that was what he wanted in the moment. Reza raked his fingers through Shane’s thick hair, his lashes fluttering closed as his cock slid deeper into all that wet heat. He couldn’t quite keep his hips all the way still and they rocked a bit with the motion of Shane’s head. A full on blowjob always felt like a treat when he got it from Shane, and there was part of him that felt like he deserved to be treated right now. He was appreciative too, but this felt right.
It really was a dysfunctional way of making things right, even Shane knew that, but damn if he didn't feel the tension seeping from his own body as he felt Reza's arousal growing again. That attraction remaining intact was more reassuring than the hug or any words they could have spoken, the cracks slowly closing and his anxiety fading. He put everything he had into this, the polar opposite of edging this time, wanting it to feel as good as possible and for Reza to finally get his orgasm he'd been deprived of for too long. It was a little magical doing this out here, mere feet from where the rain kept pouring down on the patio, the thunder making everything around them feel more alive and dangerous. He got the feeling Reza was in his element here, or maybe his pleasure just seemed so in tune with the storm and Shane was being overly romantic - though that wasn't usually his style.
He was in his element, the rain stirring up the air everywhere and making things slightly breezy around them. It made all of Reza’s skin feel so alive, and filled him up with magical energy, which only amplified the sexual energy starting to flow more freely inside of him. Shane’s mouth felt fantastic, and it didn’t take too long before Reza was fully lost in the pleasure Shane was giving him. He moaned and gasped as lips and tongue worked their magic on his cock, having to widen his stance a bit as his knees started to feel unsteady. There was an outdoor chair next to him, and Reza reached for it to brace himself. “God, it feels so good,” he breathed down to Shane, his other set of fingers flexing in his hair. Reza’s balls felt high and tight and achy with the need for release, but he wanted to wring a few more minutes out of this first.
Shane could feel how wound up his body was, the tightness of his balls against his hand as he slipped his fingers further back to rub at that sensitive spot behind them. At least he wasn't the one forcing the delay this time, giving all the pleasure he possibly could short of fucking Reza. He tightened his grip on his ass as he took him deep, glanced back up at him as he pulled back and then closed his eyes again as he set up a steady rhythm again. Shane was hard again too, though he didn't really want to be right now, but how could he fight it off when Reza was this delectable, shivering and taut under his efforts. He ignored his erection for now, focused on Reza and relieved his renewed arousal didn't bring back that sadistic need for control. It really did feel healing this time around, like exactly what he had needed in the first place.
Reza knew there was nothing to wait for, no advancement they were aiming for, no reason to hold back his orgasm, but he still fought it back for another few minutes. It was pure pleasure-greed -- what Shane was doing felt incredible and he was so good at it and looked so fucking delicious doing it, Reza wanted to savor every detail. So he watched those beautiful lips slide up and down the shaft of his cock, met Shane’s eyes when they ticked up to him, and tried to keep his balance through all the pleasure. Finally he couldn’t hold back anymore, and he gasped out a warning, both hands moving to the sides of Shane’s head as his hips gave a few last shaky thrusts. Reza didn’t hold him tight, he just needed to hang onto something as that hot bright feeling raced up his spine. His head fell back as he let out a strangled sort of cry, his cock jerking and throbbing in Shane’s mouth as he came.
Shane didn't need the warning but it was sweet anyway, more considerate than he deserved, really. He swallowed down what Reza gave him then took his time to gently lick him clean, nuzzling his cock as he wrapped his arms around Reza's thighs in a sort of a hug. He already felt better, calmer and less fretful but also oh so relieved that those feelings with sharper edges had faded. He knew he had a lot of anger in him, buried deep underneath his carefree attitude. It was something he avoided looking at too closely, unsure what the hell to do with it and often feeling like he'd already gotten the release he'd needed by burning down a few buildings. It should be enough, but that feeling still bubbled over sometimes, not always as anger but something just as sharp and unwieldy. He gradually got off his knees, rising to his feet and pulling Reza into another hug, rubbing his nose against his cheek as he held him closely.
For a little while Reza was happily lost in the aftershocks and tiny shivers Shane elicited from him with his tongue. The continued attention was nice, easing him into that afterglow feeling. So was the embrace that followed, and Reza easily slipped his arms around Shane’s waist, his eyes drifting shut. There seemed to be a vulnerable feeling in that hug, something needy that Reza was happy to help soothe. Or try to, anyway. There was nothing quippy or snarky between them at the moment, no smugness over what a fantastic blowjob that had been, no acknowledgement of the erection Shane had gotten, or any sense that he ought to do something about it. It just felt like the intimacy he’d been wanting after their hard conversation, and Reza hoped it wasn’t just his imagination. He held Shane back, his head dipping a bit to kiss the top of his shoulder. He stayed quiet too, not wanting to blurt out any words that would make Shane pull back again. Reza just wanted to enjoy the moment while the rain kept crashing down and their bodies settled.
Shane didn't need his erection acknowledged, he wasn't so sure he wanted to do anything about it right now, though the thought of taking a shower and rubbing one out just to get rid of it was kind of appealing. He thought of a number of things to say but none of them felt right or really like anything he wanted to say out loud ever. He still couldn't wrap his mind around how addicted he was to Reza and how terrified he was of him leaving when he should want that very thing for both their sake. He pulled back eventually, resting his forehead against Reza's though he kept his arms loosely wrapped around him. "You wanna come shower with me?" he asked, his voice a little hoarse like it wasn't sure it wanted to be used yet. At least that was easier to say than everything else running through his mind, some of it stupid and some of it too fucking vulnerable to be put into words.
Reza’s mind was wandering too, back over all the things Shane had told him, like his brain wanted to check in with itself now that he’d cleared the pipes, so to speak. A man was never so clear-headed as right after he came, wasn’t that what people said? He was a bit relieved to find that he was still committed to this, to Shane, and no part of him wanted to back out and run. Shane wasn’t perfect, he obviously had some Issues, but so did Reza, so did everyone. That was what happened to humans -- some more than others, of course -- and now that Reza knew what Shane’s background was all about ... honestly, it was a wonder that he wasn’t more dysfunctional. Regardless, Reza was just as hooked on him, and he couldn’t imagine leaving now without Shane. Maybe that was stupid, but it was what Reza wanted, and he was used to getting pretty much everything he wanted. He nodded at the soft question and lightly bumped their noses together. Maybe after they showered they could just slip into bed together and take a nap and reset. They deserved a rest. Reza brushed his lips against Shane’s, then pulled away enough to take his hand and lead the way back into the house.