byflame (byflame) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2021-01-27 02:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | #june 2018, reza, reza x shane, shane |
Who: Shane and Reza
When: midday, Monday, June 4th (Part 1)
Where: the house
Reza had intended to do more with his day out of the house than just go get coffee, but that turned out to be the only errand he actually ran. Jane had derailed his plans to retrace steps from Saturday night and keep his senses open for bad magic around the area where he’d heard the screams. There were bigger fish to fry now, fish that he was sure Shane wouldn’t like hearing about, but he was just going to have to deal with it. Reza pulled the rental car -- they had two, one for each of them, this trip was insanely pricey but that wasn’t a deterrent to them in the slightest, it seemed -- into the garage and shut the engine off.
He gave himself a moment just to sit in the quiet dimness and take a few deep breaths. He reminded himself that what Jane had told him sounded traumatizing, and it hadn’t even been very detailed. Reza wanted to have compassion for that. He and Shane weren’t married or anything, he didn’t feel entitled to knowing Shane’s history ... but it had brought them here. Shane had pulled Reza into whatever dangerous mess this was, no matter how much he’d been trying to hide it -- that was what he was angry about, he decided. That he’d kept Reza blind to all this for this long. He wanted the truth now, all of it.
Reza got out of the car and walked into the huge house. He thought about texting Shane to see where he was, but that could be ignored, so instead he just made his voice carry throughout the entire place. “Shane,” he said, the word broadcast to every room in the oversized house like he was standing right in the doorway. “I’m home. Where are you?”
It was a perfect day to stay home and do nothing but Shane had wanted to go out and go check out the street market. The weather had different plans though and it kept raining on and off so he spent the day inside, lounging around the house with his laptop. The internet really was a sinkhole and what started out as a search for abandoned bunkers near Point Pleasant had somehow led to reading about the top hundred creepiest ghost towns in the States. He was in the game room when Reza's voice manifested there without the man in sight and since Shane wasn't really used to Reza doing that when he came home it confused him for a moment. "Hello?" he said with a little frown since this was a big space and Reza was most definitely not in it, let alone standing right next to him like that voice seemed to indicate, loud enough to cut through the music playing. Shane groaned, sat up and closed the laptop. "Are you fucking projecting..." he groaned - to himself as he was alone - before getting up and padding out to the stairs. "Reza?" he called out and fuck he hoped it wasn't his turn to be hearing weird things. At least it wasn't someone screaming in fear and agony if that was the case.
The effect worked both ways, and Reza heard Shane speak like he was in the same room. He honed in on where it was coming from, able to track the sound of Shane’s voice even when he didn’t answer the question. Reza could hear his music too, but pushed it to the background. Shane’s words to himself made his lips quirk upward. “You don’t have to yell, I can hear you,” he said as he walked through the kitchen toward the foyer and the stairs. He stepped through the doorway and looked up to see Shane standing there, and let the sound effect drop. “We should talk,” Reza said. He knew those words made pretty much everybody feel sick to their stomach, but he wasn’t sure how else to start out. He started to climb the stairs. He still wasn’t sure of the best way to approach this and start talking about it, but he knew he had to figure it out fast. He just knew he couldn’t put this off and sit with it without saying anything.
They weren't the nicest words Shane had heard but there was a small hope attached to the wariness because if Reza dumped him, he wouldn't have to dump Reza and that was actually really ideal. Horrible and he was going to sulk about it for a long time but all things considered... "Alright," he said and ran his fingers through his hair as Reza came up to join him. He couldn't help but wonder if he should still kiss him hello or something, he wasn't exactly well versed in getting dumped - if that was even what this was. "That's a handy trick," he murmured instead, giving him a crooked smile as he made a mental note of the fact Reza could hear him even if he wasn't sure which room he was in. How far did that extend? Talk about the perfect little spy. "Don't even need an intercom."
“Yeah, I should use it more often in this bigass place,” Reza agreed with a faint smile back. He wasn’t going to act like he was utterly pissed off or anything, because he wasn’t. They just needed to talk, really talk, and Reza thought the anger he did feel would simmer down. Unless Shane tried to completely stonewall him, then he was going to get upset. When he reached the landing of the stairs, Reza leaned in to brush a quick kiss over Shane’s lips. He hoped it wouldn’t be their last. “Come on, let’s go sit down,” he murmured, stepping toward the game room, where Shane had pretty obviously been chilling. They’d found their favorite spots in the house after this long, that was for sure. Reza shrugged out of his light jacket and tossed it over a chair before he sat down on the couch.
Oh, a kiss. In that case, Shane had no fucking clue what was going on but he supposed he was about to find out so he trailed after Reza and moved his laptop onto the table before flopping down next to him. He thought about where Reza had planned to go that morning and how his day might have led him to needing a conversation. His first thought was obviously magic, that something had happened in connection to all the magic energy Reza picked up on in town or maybe even in connection to that scream he'd heard, but Shane had never done great at guessing games so he wasn't going to go down that road. "So what are we talking about?" he asked instead, studying Reza's face as if he could get some answers there first.
Reza turned to face him, knee up on the couch, and propped his arm up on the back cushion. Shane didn’t look overly nervous, but that didn’t really mean much, Reza already knew he had a good poker face. “I went to Joyland to grab coffee,” he started, his gaze steady on Shane’s face. “And you know how they call your name when your order’s ready? Well, after mine came up, this woman called me over, and said she knew you, invited me to sit down. So Jane and I had an interesting chat.” He stopped there for the moment, one brow quirking up slightly as he watched for Shane’s reaction.
Shane just barely managed to suppress a groan. "You met Jane," he murmured and she'd said she wanted to see Reza but so far she hadn't. It wasn't even something he'd been particularly worried about and if not for the look on Reza's face he wouldn't have thought the account would have been all that interesting. Jane liked to rile people up so he would have thought Reza would look more bemused than anything. He didn't look bemused, he looked intense and Shane poked his tongue at his bottom lip as he tried to suss out what the fuck had gone down. "Did you like her?" he asked in a drawl. "She's not for everyone."
It had crossed Reza’s mind that perhaps Jane had been fucking with him, feeding him a bunch of bullshit as some prank on Shane or something. But she’d seemed so sincere, and it had really given him some perspective on how Shane behaved that seemed to make sense, in his amateur psycho-analyzing opinion. He was prepared to be told he’d been taken for a fool though. He wanted to think that he would know if Shane tried to lie to him, but maybe he really didn’t know anything at all about him. “She seems very ... straightforward,” he decided, twisting his lips a bit. “She told me some really worrying stuff, Shane. About how she knows you and why you’re here. And I think it’s time for some real honest answers from you. Are you willing to do that for me?”
This was far worse than a dumping and while Shane thought he was managing to keep his cool on the surface, he felt like he was falling - or worse, sinking - as he wondered if Jane had really told Reza the Truth. She had no reason for that, and at Joyland of all places? Unless they'd gone somewhere else. This was crazy. She was batshit crazy. "Worrying stuff," he repeated slowly, narrowing his eyes skeptically. The last time he'd been asked this directly about his past, he'd been too shell shocked to really answer and he hadn't owed the man anything so it had been very different. It was fair to say he hadn't felt this cornered since he was quite literally locked up and he sure as hell hadn't felt this kind of anxiety in years. There was a chance Jane had lied to Reza, told him something crazy in an effort to help Shane get him to leave? Fuck, he knew nothing at all about the situation so he kept a level gaze and tried to tap into that confusion on some different level. "What did she tell you?" he asked, sounding a little incredulous.
Reza’s brow furrowed a bit at Shane’s reaction, like he had no idea what Reza was talking about. He doubted that was entirely true, but fuck, he didn’t want to play this game. Not if he was in danger just by being here with Shane. That part might have been exaggerated bullshit, but all of it? Was he that easy to lie to? “She told me she’s a psychic like you, that you two met as teenagers because you were both ... kidnapped by the same people? Who wanted to use your abilities for nefarious ends?” Reza said, turning them into questions to try and prompt Shane into confirming or denying. “You escaped, there was a fire that I can only assume you were responsible for ... is any of this true? Were you like ... psychic trafficked?” He had no idea why Jane would make up some crazy story like that, but he knew her even less than he knew Shane. They could have been roommates at the same mental institution, for all he knew for sure.
The utter bafflement on Shane's face did at least not need to be faked because he was completely flabbergasted that Jane had told Reza any of this, let alone all of it. The fire, the experiments, the human trafficking, it didn't sound like she'd held anything back and he couldn't fathom why she would do that. "Wow, so she just... she just told you all of that," he said slowly with a little shake of his head, still balancing precariously on the line where he could still deny it because he honestly didn't know whether to own up to it or not yet. He felt like he needed a time out and - not for the first time - wished he had the ability to freeze time for everyone but himself. He needed to pace, make a list of pros and cons, talk some sense into himself and get himself to that place where he could send Reza home. Making this decision in the short span of this conversation felt impossible.
He wasn’t instantly denying it all, saying Jane was a crazy bitch, or laughing at how ludicrous it all sounded. Instead Shane looked kind of bowled over, more like all his secrets had been laid bare as opposed to hearing a bunch of silly lies about himself. His few words weren’t technically confirmation, but they felt close enough to Reza. They sounded like a stall too, maybe so Shane could think about how to spin it all to sound less horrible or ... something. Reza tried to stop himself from attempting to guess what was in Shane’s head. He couldn’t be sure of any of it. He rubbed his fingers over his forehead and eyes and gave a soft sigh. It was difficult to balance his frustration at the lack of answers with his desire to be sensitive to how painful this must be for his quasi-partner. “Shane,” Reza murmured, looking at him earnestly again. “If you’re trying to protect me, please stop. I’m involved now. Jane suggested I might even be targeted by them just by association. I really need you to talk to me. Please.”
"You're involved now," Shane echoed, a question and yet not. It was insane because Reza was not involved, he had nothing to do with any of this, he wasn't even a psychic and Shane wanted to reassure him of that but at the same time he wanted to deny everything and that inability to choose a path fast enough was driving him insane. "Well in that case maybe you should go home before you get hurt," he muttered and got up off the couch a bit briskly because he needed a fucking drink and he needed it now. There was a bar in the game room because of course there was so that's where he headed, even if what he really wanted was to go get one downstairs.
Reza certainly felt involved, even if he was just learning about all of this. He’d been staying in this town with Shane for weeks, he knew he was a pyrokinetic, he knew there was an incredible amount of power in this town. He couldn’t help but wonder if any of the witches he knew had to live here could help. If he could help. Reza’s heart sank a little at Shane’s words and the way he got up and walked away. He didn’t head for the door, though, so that was slightly encouraging. Reza couldn’t really say much about him getting a drink, he felt like he needed one too. He turned to follow Shane with his eyes. “Or, you could talk to me,” he suggested, spreading his hands a bit, as if that option should be obvious. “Tell me what you’re mixed up in, maybe I can help. Or at least be prepared, if shit’s going to go down.” What he wasn’t going to do was run home with his tail between his legs and leave Shane to deal with it on his own.
This was exactly why Shane should have sent him home weeks ago, or not brought him here in the first place. He knocked back a drink and poured himself another before he even attempted to speak again. It was probably a good thing Jane wasn't there, he seriously wanted to set her on fire right now and it was easier to fight off that temptation when she wasn't physically present. "Okay, so Jane is fucking crazy," he muttered. "You're not in danger, you're not involved with anything. But, you're on thin ice." He knocked back his second drink and wished it actually did something other than just burn down his throat. It should calm him down instantly, like a hit of heroin, but it was just booze and as such it was pretty impotent. His mind was still reeling at the mere idea that Jane would just tell Reza everything on their first meeting. Had they met before? Was there more to all of this than he knew? He felt out of his depth and he felt stupid and that just made him feel angrier. "There is a lot of shit going on but you shouldn't go poking your nose in it," he said through clenched teeth and poured himself another drink.
Reza’s brows had lifted at the ‘thin ice’ warning, and he felt some of his own heat flash through him. He thought he’d done a pretty damn good job of approaching this calmly, offering Shane the opportunity to clear up anything that wasn’t true, to tell him what was going on in his own words. And instead he was tossing back shots like he was trying to get out of this by knocking himself out, and the last thing Shane said really irked Reza. He stood up and walked closer, stepping up next to him so Shane couldn’t keep his back to him. “Poking my nose into it?” he asked incredulously. “This was one of your friends who approached me. I haven’t pried into your shit until now, have I? We’ve been here for weeks, on some mysterious secret business of yours and I haven’t fucking asked questions. Like some cute little mob mistress, just kept around for you to fuck, right? But if what she said is at all true, then I deserve some answers Shane, don’t you think? If somebody is gonna try to get to you through me, shouldn’t I fucking know about it?”
"Nobody's trying to get to me through you," Shane said, latching onto the last thing Reza said because everything else was by now noise in his head; Reza's words mixed with his own unspoken angry retorts, all of it nonsensical and hard to parse. "If they wanted me, they'd have me already." He didn't mean to say that, he didn't mean to let anything slip but it was hard to think straight when he was this angry so the words just came like they had a life of their own. There was no denying this now, he just had to roll with the punches somehow and that just pissed him off more. At least he wasn't yelling, he was just tense and seething, all the fire raging on the inside for now. "And no, you don't deserve answers, you had a nice vacation, you had a good time and now it's over."
There was the confirmation, at least. Whoever ‘they’ were, this mysterious group of people running experiments on kids or whatever. The rest of it stung, more than Reza would’ve wanted to admit, especially the last part. It pissed him off further too, because how dare Shane think he could just toss Reza aside like a used tissue? He knew he ought to do everything in his power to keep his cool, he wasn’t the one with his deep dark secrets hanging out to dry now, and Shane was just reacting ... but he was only human. “No,” he said, more intensity slipping into his voice too. “You don’t get to do that. Diminish this to just some stupid vacation. That’s not all it’s been to me, and you know that. Is that all it’s been to you? Just some fun?” Even as he said it, he knew that wasn’t the point, this wasn’t really about them, or at least it shouldn’t be. But he had to know if trying to stick around was even worthwhile.
Shane groaned, feeling like the conversation had gone off the rails, if it ever had been on any sorts of rails to start with. "First of all, I get to do whatever the fuck I want because I don't owe you anything," he said and poured himself another drink. It was probably not wise because he wanted to get in the car and go but it was right there and he didn't know what to do with his hands if not pour another drink. "And yes, that's all this was, some fun, some good times before I go on some crazy ass- and you..." He bit his lip and raised his glass, fumbling for words. It was better if Reza left angry, it was better if he wrote Shane off as an asshole and got the hell out of there. "You expect me to believe Jane just waltzed up to you and started telling you all sorts of crazy shit and if you believe her, if you believe everything she said, you didn't think to stop her from spilling some seriously personal shit about me?" That wasn't what he meant to say either and he knocked back his next drink, trying to breathe through this. He didn't have much experience in arguing and he sure as hell didn't have much experience in arguing about things that really meant something to him.
Reza’s heart was beating too fast and hard in his chest. He shouldn’t have brought it around to their relationship when Shane was obviously upset and drinking like he was, he knew better than that, didn’t he? So he deserved those barbs, he guessed, for being stupid. He was starting to feel even more stupid about being there at all -- he certainly hadn’t expected to hear about some cabal of evildoers who were kidnapping psychic children, but he’d expected this, hadn’t he? This stunted-boy reaction of pushing him away hard when shit got real. It always did at some point. Reza’s jaw clenched and his expression hardened, even as he made himself take a deeper, slower breath. “You ask her,” he said, his tone going cold. “Call her and verify that she called my name, which she knew straight from your mouth. And she can tell you all about how I twisted her arm into telling me every sordid detail, because that’s something I would definitely do, just so I could come back here and lie to your face about it.” Reza reached in front of Shane and grabbed the bottle he was pouring from, then started to move away. It wasn’t the only bottle of liquor on the bar, of course, but maybe he needed a couple of steadying shots himself. Just somewhere else. “I’m gonna give you a minute to think about how you really want this to go from here,” he said, heading for the door.
Shane felt like screaming now, it sounded loud and clear inside his head but it didn't make it out of there and he didn't throw his glass either, like he wanted to. Everything was starting to spin and he thought that had more to do with his mood than the alcohol he was so rapidly imbuing. He didn't even have half a glass of bourbon now since Reza had snapped the bottle away but he drank it anyway before slamming the glass down on the bar, not hard enough to break but enough to make a noise. Why did he have to decide where this was going from here, it wasn't fair, he didn't want to decide anything he just wanted things to go back to stupid and fun. He waited until Reza had left the room, then waited a moment longer before stalking out himself, jogging downstairs to grab another bottle from the kitchen and from there to the garage. The walls of this gigantic house were closing in on him which just went to show how no building was big enough to contain him for long.
Reza had stalked his way to the master bedroom and shut the door behind him, but he had still kept his ears open to the entire house. He probably shouldn’t, he probably ought to give Shane his privacy to call Jane and cuss her out, or cuss Reza out to the very air, or scream or cry or whatever he was going to do, but he couldn’t help himself. Shane took the most predictable but disappointing option -- he left. Reza sat on the edge of the bed, listening to his footsteps thumping down the stairs and the clink of another bottle and then the garage door slamming closed. He heard the car start and briefly shut his eyes to send up a prayer that the idiot didn’t seriously hurt himself drunk driving. Or worse.
He did quite a bit of his own drinking for the first hour, talking to himself, carrying out the argument in many different directions, muttering and being angry. He even started to pack a couple of his bags, throwing items in haphazardly. When Reza’s blood began to cool, the hurt crept in, and that was worse. Was he just a piece of ass to Shane? They did more together than fuck, so that didn’t feel right, but was he just a warm body to fill space? Were his instincts and his read on Shane as a person all wrong? Or had he just bungled the whole conversation and hurt an already very-hurt man even further? He felt guilty. He packed a bit more, with a whole different vibe, slowly folding and re-folding his clothes, then gave that up as well. He didn’t want to leave. Especially before he knew whether Shane had driven off a cliff or not. Reza ended up sitting outside as the afternoon progressed on, needing the fresh air. He sat with a fresh bottle of vodka and a glass, at the edge of the pool, his feet and calves dangling in the water, as he slowly got more drunk and watched the pool floats drift around.
Shane kind of wanted to go rip Jane a new one but that would mean another argument and he could already picture her reaction to his ranting. If he was right about that it would only make him angrier and the last thing he needed was to rage-murder his only friend, even if she was a complete bitch. He drove, which was not the smartest thing he could be doing, but then he parked and sat and glared out the window for a while. It was raining and he was still barefoot and not super eager to get wet and this place he'd parked in was nothing but tall grass and trees. It was tempting to burn it all down but he sat and drank instead, raging at Jane and Reza and AIR and at how stupid he himself was to actually be feeling something for someone. He didn't do that shit, there was a reason he didn't do that shit, lots of reasons in fact. After a short while he stopped drinking, bourbon wasn't super good after the first couple of drinks and he felt shitty already, his vision blurry, his head swimming.
Reza's words kept ringing in his head, something about how Shane needed to make up his mind on where he wanted this to go and it was fucking impossible to answer that question. Well, not entirely impossible. He knew what he wanted. He wanted Reza to stay, he wanted him to forget everything Jane had told him and just stay. It didn't work like that though, Reza needed to go because Jane was right, he could get hurt if he stayed. It wasn't fair and Shane grumbled about it more than a few times, hitting the steering wheel.
"Look at you now, you fucking dimwit," he grumbled to himself, letting his head thud against the headrest as he watched the tall grass slowly and blurrily swaying. It made him think about what Reza had said about being air, just floating around and experiencing everything. Fuck. It always came back to Reza, didn't it. Shane wanted to just sleep right there, fade away and stop thinking for good. It didn't work like that either so eventually, right as it was getting dark, he started the car again and drove. He still had no idea what to do about anything, what to tell Reza, whether to drive him away or cry on him until he was forgiven but shit, that was pathetic.
He was lucky he didn't hit something or someone as he slowly drove around town, but he made an effort to go slow and follow all the traffic rules, hyper aware that his reactions were oh so slow right now, dulled by the booze. He wasn't even sure why he ended up back at the house, he didn't really want to be there but it was his sanctuary, he supposed.
He was kind of surprised to find Reza's car still in the garage, he'd given him more than enough time to angrily pack his things and leave. A small part of him thought that that didn't sound like 'his' Reza and what the fuck did he even know. He didn't try to track him down, just padded on bare feet to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and then let himself slump down on the floor by the counter as he drank it down.
It was the fridge light that caught Reza’s attention, flashing through the big windows and French doors that led onto the deck. He hadn’t consciously chosen to sit on the far edge of the pool, but he was glad he had. Shane was home. Reza first felt a wave of relief, then irritation that he’d gone off like that in the first place. He didn’t move right away, finishing what was in his glass first while he tried to get his priorities in order. He didn’t want to fight about anything, but he didn’t want to take any bullshit from Shane either. He wanted to be compassionate and understanding of Shane’s trauma. And most of all, he didn’t want Shane to force him to go home. Trying to hold that in his woozy mind, Reza got up and padded across the deck, his drinking supplies in each hand. He walked into the house, and seeing Shane on the floor made his chest ache a bit. Had he even worn shoes? Reza approached the kitchen island and set his bottle and glass down before he leaned against the counter, his eyes on Shane. He wanted to ask if he was all right, but that seemed like a dumb question. Reza wasn’t sure what else to say though, and his brain was working slower now.
They were well past the point where Shane could deny anything though his drunken mind started trying to puzzle together a believable story the moment Reza walked into the kitchen. It was all jumbled jig saw pieces and none of them fit together so he abandoned that task within seconds, sighing as he looked up at Reza. Reza who should go home now, who should have gone home weeks ago, who possibly got attacked by some lunatic AIR psychic just because he was walking with Shane. Was that why Jane told him everything? To run him out of town because Shane was too much of a pussy to do it? He tried to think of words he actually wanted to say instead of a plausible story. I'm not good at people. I don't want you to go. You're right. None of those things sounded right in his head so the silence stretched out between them, growing thinner by the second. "You're not just a piece of ass," he muttered finally, like that was the most important takeaway from their dumb argument. "But you should be."
Reza was glad that Shane spoke first. He wasn’t going to stoop to giving him the silent treatment, Reza didn’t believe in doing that kind of shit, but it was a relief to not be the one breaking the silence. And what Shane said was both sad and good to hear. At least they seemed to be closer to being honest with each other. Reza straightened up and moved around the kitchen island. With a little groan, he sat down next to Shane, though he left some space between them so as not to crowd him. This was their first fight, he didn’t know yet if touching was unwelcome. Reza pulled his knees up and rested his arms on them, fingers laced together. “I know,” he murmured, but there was nothing smug about it. “I’m glad. And ... I just wanna understand better why you think I should be.”
"Of course you know," Shane said with a little roll of his eyes but it didn't come out like he wanted it to, less snarky and more defeated. He hated the question in Reza's words because he had no good answer for it that didn't make him sound like a complete loser. "I'm just not that guy," he mumbled, cracking the half empty plastic bottle that had apparently now taken on the new role of fidget toy. "Everything you got from me so far? That's all I have to give, there's nothing more." He wasn't even sure what more was supposed to look like, it was something other people did and he mostly saw it happen on TV and that all looked pretty terrible. The real life version was distant and just Not Him.
He wanted to roll his eyes, but even his drunk judgement knew that wouldn’t be received well, and he wouldn’t be able to explain himself very well either. Reza knew Shane probably thought that for valid reasons, but he didn’t think anyone was incapable of growth, especially once he found the person who was right for them. Maybe that was him being overly romantic, maybe he was just a lovesick idiot, but Reza felt like he knew Shane was capable of more than he thought. But wasn’t that kind of pathetic of him at the same time? Thinking he could change a guy? God, all this gave him a headache. “I was liking what you were giving me,” he said softly, turning his head to look over at Shane. “I like you, Shane. As you are, I don’t give a shit what kind of guy you think you are. And I want to know more of you.” Reza knew what he was saying might not matter, but he wanted to be just as honest as he wished Shane would be.
Shane just kept thinking about how if he'd had some heads up, he could have easily spun a lie, if he hadn't been so taken back by the fact Jane told Reza everything, he could have laughed it off as a crazy story Jane liked to tell people. He could have come up with a better one, how they'd been in foster care together or some shit, anything but this. Reza already knew way too much and now he wanted to know more and Shane knew that it was only because he didn't know everything. He focused on the bottle for now, picking at the plastic ring with his thumbnail. "I never want to meet your family," he mumbled. "I never want to meet your friends. I don't do Christmases or birthdays or Thanksgivings. You may like this now but you're gonna want more and you deserve more. You deserve like a picket fence and-" he waved his hand vaguely for the rest of it. "You already know me way too well."
Reza thought that last one was really the important point. Shane wanted to push him away because he’d gotten too close, the thing he’d been bracing for since the start. Reza just really didn’t want to let him do it now. He’d gotten invested, even though he knew that would be a stupid thing to do. “Picket fences are hideous and cliche, Thanksgiving is a celebration of native American genocide, I don’t do Christmas, and my family doesn’t like to meet my boyfriends anyway,” he said. That wasn’t entirely true, his sisters had wanted to meet the few guys he’d felt serious about, but Reza knew that would take some time anyway. Reza offered Shane a faint smile and shrugged his shoulder. “Look, I’m not trying to propose to you or anything. I just wanna let it be what it is, and see where it goes. But right now, more important, I want to help you, because this shit sounds fucked up.”
Shane screwed the top of the bottle loose, then flicked it across the floor just to watch it bounce against the fridge. His vision was still swimming a little and he felt like he should probably be more sober for this conversation but honestly, it was easier to do this drunk. He felt a bit numb, but even numb thinking about how much Reza really knew still made him feel like flipping the fuck out. "I can't believe she told you all that," he muttered, letting his head thud against the cabinet a couple of times. "I don't want you to get involved, I figured it was safe until we make a move, you know? Fuck. If we ever make a move, nothing is fucking happening." He didn't want to talk about that, glancing at Reza again and his perfect fucking lips. God he was so annoying and earnest right now, Shane didn't know if he wanted to kick him out or kiss him. "Why don't you do Christmas? Is that a muslim thing?"
He got the sense as well that this wasn’t the conversation they should be having. He hadn’t meant for it to turn into a thing about Them. Reza had wanted the truth about why they were there, and he felt like the picture of that truth was being colored in his head, he just couldn’t see it all yet. Shane hadn’t verbally confirmed much of anything, but Reza didn’t see how Jane could’ve been wrong, given Shane’s reaction to it all. The question diverted his thoughts a bit and he huffed a little laugh. “Yeah, it’s a Muslim thing. I mean, sometimes we do gifts just for the secular part of the whole thing, but it’s not a big deal,” he said. Reza paused for a thoughtful moment, then reached over to brush the back of his knuckles against Shane’s arm. “I’m sorry I violated your privacy,” he murmured. “I probably shouldn’t have even sat down to talk to her without you there, but my curiosity got the best of me. I definitely didn’t expect to hear ... those kinda secrets, you know?”
"She's the closest friend I have and I don't know anything about her," Shane said with a little sigh. "Except she's apparently fucking crazy." He pressed his lips together, blew raspberries and let his head thud against the cabinet again. "I'm sorry. I should never have brought you here. This town is fucked up, she says they're running experiments but I don't know what she even means by that. I just dragged you into some conspiracy theory hell and all 'cause you're really fucking hot." He was rambling and on some level he knew that he was too drunk to be having this conversation - or too drunk to know he shouldn't be having this conversation - or too drunk to know if he had a choice by now.
Reza’s head was swimmy, but he’d always been a pretty rational drunk, which he was grateful for. If Shane had stayed gone longer, he probably would’ve drank enough to put himself to sleep, but he was glad he hadn’t. Maybe the booze was helping both of them be more open, he didn’t know. The last part made Reza laugh softly, it was so earnest, but he shook his head. “Nah, you could’ve found somebody else hot here,” he murmured. “I’ve seen plenty of them walking around. You wanted real company. But look, Shane ...” Reza put his hands on the floor to turn himself to face Shane, sliding his ass a little closer on the linoleum. “I’m not some helpless twink, okay? I’m fuckin’ magical. You know that now. I can do a lot more than play with sound, too. Lemme help you. ‘Cause you’re not getting rid of me, so I might as well have something to do.”
The phrase 'helpless twink' did make Shane smile a little because Reza was right, he was definitely not one of those. Pretty, yes, very fuckable, yes, but sure as hell not helpless. "You are fucking magical," he agreed. "But have you ever had someone snuff out the power inside you? That's the kind of people we're up against, people who can just... shut you down." He snapped his fingers as emphasis and was pretty pleased with himself that he didn't botch it even if his body felt kind of sluggish. "I don't want you to put your life on the line, especially not for me."
Reza shook his head that no, that had never happened to him ... and it sounded kind of unlikely. Especially considering all of the magic he’d felt around this town. If this crazy organization or kid-trafficking ring or whatever it was had that kind of power, and they were experimenting on the whole town, wouldn’t he feel it? Fuck, he needed to talk to some of the other witches, as soon as possible. “Don’t forget, we’re different,” he murmured, gazing at Shane. “Maybe they can’t shut me down. Or any of the other witches I know live around here. Maybe I can talk to some, help you get even more power on your side, you know? And it’s not just for you, if ... if they’re still doing that shit, experimenting on little psychic kids ... I can’t just walk away from that. Not if I can help somehow. So ... I’m helping, get used to it. Even if I have to find Jane again and do it through her.” He smiled a bit to show that he was teasing ... sort of.
"God you're such a pain in the ass," Shane groaned but he couldn't argue that Reza was different, that he could be useful, that walking away from something like that was kind of impossible. Shane wasn't here for revenge, he was here because of exactly that same reason, if AIR was back up and running and back to its old games, that meant there were kids involved. Shane didn't see himself as some savior of children, he wasn't even sure he liked kids, but that shit was just wrong. "Don't go talking to just anyone-" he started but it all seemed way too massive to tackle, especially in his current state. "Fuck I'm too drunk to be having this conversation," he complained, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. "Can we talk about this tomorrow? I don't know how much you know and only knowing half is more dangerous than knowing nothing."
That felt like a victory somehow, and it made Reza grin more than he meant to. He knew Shane might just be putting him off, maybe he would change his mind once he was sober again the next day, but Reza didn’t really think so. He thought he was really in now, whether that turned out to be a good thing or not. He scooted in even closer and wrapped his arms around Shane’s shoulders to pull him into a hug from the side. “We can talk about it tomorrow,” he murmured, lightly headbutting Shane so his mouth was close to his ear. He probably would’ve been keeping his hands more to himself if he hadn’t been drunk, but he wasn't and he wanted to make up with Shane all the way. There were many more stupid things just on the tip of his tongue, but Reza tried to swallow them back and just be physically there.
Shane groaned again, but this time it was more for show and he leaned into the hug, giving Reza's arm a little squeeze. This was so stupid and he knew it, but damn it if it wasn't nice to have Reza there despite everything. A self destructive part of him, the part very influenced by the booze at the moment, wanted to tell Reza everything now; all the things that would make Reza want to leave. He might still be involved but he wouldn't be with Shane anymore. But there was a selfish part of him that refused and he guessed those two parts would be at war for a while to come. "Why are you so hard to get rid of?" he mumbled instead, closing his eyes and focused on the way Reza's shirt felt against his skin. Hyper focused, even. It was grounding in a way and he was so hyper aware of his body now, so close and so damn addictive it was making Shane stupid.
The tension was relenting, Reza could feel it, and it was delightful. He was worried about all this and taking it seriously, but he was intoxicated enough to be happy that his semi-boyfriend seemed to be warming up to him again. Or at least letting himself express it. It had been obvious from the start that Shane had a lot of issues, and that obviously hadn’t deterred Reza. Now that he was learning why said issues were there ... he would continue not to be deterred. “Because I’m awesome and you don’t really want to get rid of me,” he murmured, a small smirk crossing his face. He squeezed Shane tight for a moment and kissed his temple. “You wanna take a bath in the jacuzzi tub or something? We can get fun drunk in a bunch of bubbles. Ooh, or take a nap before dinner?”
"Oh my god, dinner now," Shane murmured, sitting up a little straighter. "I'm starving." No wonder he got so drunk so fast. He'd even gone for a ride, like some self destructive idiot with a death wish. Okay, so that was at least half true. He squinted at Reza, then reached up to cup the side of his face with one hand. "Are you a good person, Reza?" he asked and it had very little to do with dinner but his mind was all over the place, tackling too many issues at once and not making headway with any of them. He licked his lips, pushing some of those multiple thoughts away. "Because if you're too good a person, I will ruin you."
Reza lifted his brows when Shane cupped his face, and he had the worst urge to laugh at what Shane said. It was fueled more by the alcohol than anything, but it did feel a bit melodramatic. Reza reached up to cover the back of Shane’s hand and half-smiled at him. “I’m not that good, I promise,” he said. “I don’t go to mosque anymore, I do drugs sometimes, I fuck pretty playboys that I just met ... you’re not gonna ruin shit.” He wasn’t trying to be flippant really, he just wasn’t going to indulge that kind of self-deprecating stuff. Shane’s trauma made it even more important to be real with him. Reza leaned in to kiss him softly. “Just let it be,” he added in a soft murmur.
All those things were pretty tame compared to what Shane had on his conscience but Reza's soft words put some of that hurricane in his head to rest. Let it be, three little words with a whole lot of power apparently. Or maybe it was just Reza's voice, it tended to affect him in all sorts of ways. Shane took a deep breath, then nudged Reza forehead to forehead. "Do we have any food? Do you want to order something?" Food would help clear his head a little and then he could think about showering or sleeping off some of this drunken haze. Tomorrow was going to suck if he kept his promise to fill in whatever gaps Jane had left but at this very moment it felt like very much of a 'later times problem'.
He wanted to crawl in Shane’s lap and lounge on him for hours, but Reza knew that wouldn’t be comfortable for long, and he supposed he was hungry too. Food would at least make Shane feel a little better. “We’ve got some basic stuff ... want me to make you something?” he asked, tilting his head a bit to nuzzle their noses together. Shane smelled like booze but Reza still wanted to kiss him some more. “At least something to tide you over, if you want to order something.” Neither of them should be driving anywhere, so any take out would have to be delivered to them, and sometimes that could take a while. Reza kissed the bridge of Shane’s nose and started to pull back a bit, ready to climb to his feet and make some sandwiches or heat up something from the freezer.
Shane was getting used to the fact that Reza was the kind of guy who made stuff for him. He'd kind of gotten him hooked on some weird tea he bought at the magical spice shop and they'd cooked together a few times. It was disgustingly domestic and stupidly sweet. He kept thinking Reza would make someone a great boyfriend some day and then it hit him like a freight truck that he was very close to being Shane's boyfriend. "Maybe a sandwich and then we can order something for tonight." He let go of Reza, huffing softly as he nimbly got to his feet, only nearly losing his balance once he was standing. He snagged the front of Reza's shirt and pulled him close enough that he could wrap his arms around him, pressing his nose against his neck.
The way Shane pulled him in once they were both on their feet made Reza’s heart flutter in that stupid-happy way he still wasn’t used to. Reza hugged him back, nuzzling his head against Shane’s and fisting his hands in the back of his shirt. Maybe it would still take a while for them to say so out loud, but Reza did consider them boyfriends, especially now. He knew that even if he did go home to Chicago, he would spend every minute thinking about Shane and worrying about how he was doing out here. He couldn’t imagine being interested in anybody else at this point. There was too much chemistry between them, and the feelings Reza was developing were real. He stood there and just held onto Shane for a long couple of minutes, soaking it in, then finally murmured, “You want peanut butter and jelly? Or cold cuts?” His voice was warm and soft.
"Cold cuts," Shane mumbled and he was in no hurry to let Reza go, even if he was hungry. He'd essentially blown up at him and expected him to leave but Reza was still here and Shane knew he would be falling into some bottomless pit right about now if he'd come back to an empty house. Instead he had Reza in his arms, that damn voice soothing the last of his jittery feelings out of him and quieting some of the frustrating thoughts that kept bouncing around in his head at hyperspeed. When he did let go he did so slowly, stroking Reza's arms before moving to the fridge to see what they had. "I still think you're weird for wanting to stay," he muttered as he grabbed some containers from the fridge. "Just so we're clear."
“Noted,” Reza chuckled, giving Shane’s ass a little slap as he passed by to fetch some plates for them. He could live with being weird. Leaving just wasn’t an option in his mind anymore, especially knowing that Shane didn’t really mean what he’d said about this just being fun. He decided that a snack did sound good, now that his insides were more settled. Once the two of them had sated their hunger a bit, they went to get more comfortable, both of them taking a quick turn in the shower to wash the alcohol-stink off, along with the chlorine on Reza’s legs. Then the most logical place to be seemed to be in bed. The evening was still fairly young, especially considering the hours they’d been keeping lately, but as Reza slid in close to Shane under the covers, he couldn’t think of anywhere else he would rather be. Some snuggling and something light and funny on TV as background for a nice doze sounded lovely to him.