Who: Knox & Max Where: O'Reilly Home When: Mid May
Max had wanted so badly to remember his family and himself as he felt a bit like an interloper in his own home, welcomed by everyone but unsure if he truly belonged there. It took a couple of days and meeting his father had been very helpful even if seeing how much older he was from what little Max remembered of him was jarring. He let his family take care of him, felt a bit like an invalid or a child and hesitated to reach out to find Greer for some reason he couldn't fully formulate. Everything was just a bit too overwhelming and strange and what if his memories of her were only partially true? What if he'd forgotten something important and she didn't want to speak to him? He wanted so badly to remember and then the morning when he woke up and did, he really truly wished he could go back to being oblivious. He'd almost killed his family, he'd thought about killing his 'enemies' in awful ways, those people who'd locked him and the others away in that hell dimension. He'd hated Knox for doing the only thing he could do which was protect the family and should never have had to protect it from Max.
Max sat with it for a while, his mind spinning and his gut churning with the guilt. He hadn't been in control, that was the logic he was trying to cling but, but it was hard to justify it when he remembered how good he'd felt as he slowly drained the people around him. He didn't want to remember the way Knox looked at him, the wariness and anger in his eyes felt so alien and not something Max would ever have thought would be directed at him. It made him want to go back to sleep and just not wake up. Not die, just not Be either. Eventually he dragged himself out of bed, got dressed and headed out of his room in search of anyone. He needed to apologize, but how did he even start doing that when what he'd done was so huge? It might not have been a voluntary thing but what if whatever had a hold of him had tapped into something that was already there? What if his penchant for destruction was just that bad and only kept away by a thin barrier? It hurt to think about and when he found Knox in the kitchen, familiar now in far more precious ways, he teared up just thinking about it. "I remember," he whispered and he felt like an idiot child standing there, like a kid who'd done something really bad and needed Knox to help him through it before he could stand to face his parents. Knox had always been a safety net of sorts, but Max now knew what it felt like to be the target of his anger and he never wanted to feel that again.
On Knox’s end, things had been improving by leaps and bounds ever since Max’s return. Granted, he didn’t remember any of them, but he was whole and alive and seemingly uninfected by evil, so all of those were good things. Either his memory would return, or he would just start to make new ones with the family that loved him. The familiar had been getting back into the normal routine of protecting their land and supporting Shayna Mae and Aidan and Patrick, without that gaping hole in his heart, so to speak. He was in the kitchen puttering around with getting a batch of dried herbs into jars when he sensed Max’s presence behind him.
Knox was halfway turned around when he spoke. The whisper and the look on Max’s face got him right in the chest, tempering the joy that came from the news that his memory was back. There were plenty of bad things to remember, Knox supposed. His expression turned sympathetic and he took a couple of steps closer to Max, wordlessly opening his arms to him. They hadn’t left on the best of terms, it was true, but Knox didn’t sense any of the internal rot he had before, and so far everyone’s energy levels were fine, so in his mind Max was Max again and it was all okay. He wanted Max to feel okay, too.
Max wasn't really afraid that his family was mad with him, they'd been brimming with the urge to hug him, he didn't need to be psychic to pick up on that, Aidan and Patrick hadn't been able to hold back. But he hadn't known they had any reason to be mad at him so it felt different now, with remembering came some responsibility and he felt like crying when Knox actually invited him into a hug. He didn't hesitate to take him up on the offer, it was exactly what he needed, a big bear hug from the safest person he knew in the world, the one constant in his life that never changed and never let him down. "Fuck, I missed you guys so much," he mumbled as he squeezed Knox by the middle. "I'm so sorry, I'm just... I'm so sorry." Knox might already know that but Max still needed to say it, to him and to all of them until he felt at least a little less miserable and guilty about what he'd done.
Knox wrapped Max up in his arms and felt like sighing with relief. He’d wanted to hug him the first moment he’d seen Max, but that would’ve probably freaked him out at the time, and his priority had been to get him home. Knox squeezed him firmly, resting his cheek against Max’s head as he rubbed his back a bit with one hand. He’d never shied away from giving affection to the male members of the family, they knew there was no sexual interest in it, only a big-brotherly sort of comfort and a love that defied most other family roles. Knox loved them all. “We missed you too,” he rumbled gently. He knew that Max had regret, even if he hadn’t been in control of himself before he’d disappeared. That was understandable, and it reassured him that this was really Max. “And I know. You’re already forgiven. We all love you, and I’m so glad you’re home.”
"Fuck, me too," Max muttered and he'd rather do ten years in prison than a week back in that place so that was saying something. It was stupidly early so he wasn't surprised to find only Knox up and about but it was oh so tempting to go wake up his siblings for a proper reunion. Tempting and yet daunting because he still couldn't help but feel like they should be angry at him or, at the very least, wary of him. "You could feel something in me," he said quietly when he finally let go of Knox after a long and much needed hug. "Is it-" He frowned as he trailed off, brows furrowed as the question wouldn't come right away. "Can you feel anything still there?" It terrified him that it might still be in him, whatever had made him do those things. If it was, he felt like he might need to fuck off somewhere far away, hide somewhere in Alaska and become a hermit.
Knox was tempted to call for everyone who was still sleeping, but he wanted that to be Max’s call. He was just so thrilled to really have them all back together. He let Max go with a bit of reluctance, patting his shoulders a couple of times before he let his arms drop. Knox gave him a warm and understanding smile. “All I feel is you,” he assured him. “I’ve been paying attention, too.” He tapped his temple with good humor flashing in his eyes, then laughed a bit and reached out to squeeze Max’s shoulder again. “C’mon, sit down, I’ll make you breakfast.” Knox moved away to the counter to finish up the herb jar he’d been working on before he started doing any cooking. “How’re you feeling physically? Head okay? Lungs okay?”
Max was tempted to hug him again. He'd missed this so much, the only physical contact he'd really had during all his time on the other side was holding Greer's hand from time to time or sleeping next to her, it was nothing like this, being able to really hug someone without that awful smell in his nose and the itch of his skin. He was really glad his whole family was very loving and physical because they were all going to be finding themselves in random hugs for the unforeseeable future. Max took a seat after giving Knox's arm a squeeze, it wasn't a lot but it satisfied some of that urge to touch that was almost overwhelming him. "Head okay, lungs okay, stomach... Still getting used to eating again but mostly okay. My whole body felt rusty for the first couple of days home. I'm so out of shape now, shit." He leaned back in his seat and took in the familiarity of sitting there in the kitchen with Knox. It was a whole lot of mixed feelings, happiness and guilt, relief and sadness, fear it'd all be taken away from him again. "I was away for a long time. What have you guys been up to?"
Knox had been hugging and soothing and tossing all the O’Reillys around since they were kids, being affectionate with them came as natural to him as breathing. It was a relief to him that Max wanted it again, and he was glad he didn’t have to explain their whole dynamic to someone who didn’t know him. “You’ll get back in shape,” he said easily, shooting Max another smile. “Probably the only good thing you got to do in prison was all the working out.” He let out a little whistle of appreciation, then chuckled as his hands busily put everything away. “The restless spirits of the town have been quiet for months now, so we haven’t been up to much. Tending the garden, Shayna Mae’s been helping some of the other witches in town. Even Aya’s been mostly well behaved.” Knox glanced up toward the ceiling, even though he had no real idea where the spirit-woman was. “There’s been a cloud hanging over the house, with everyone missing you, though.” He moved to the fridge. “Eggs? Bacon? French toast? What do you got a hankering for?”
Max had thought it was bad enough to worry everyone by going away to prison. He knew what his ideas about the place had been like and he was sure his family had been worried sick that he'd get himself killed or badly hurt in there. Mostly it had just been tedious and humiliating and not at all that violent or rapey like he'd feared. He supposed he'd been lucky about location too. The last few months had been so much worse on everyone, his family not knowing where he was or if he was alive or dead - at least they'd have gotten a call or a letter if he kicked the bucket in prison and he'd been able to count down the months and years, slow and shitty as they'd been. It could have been forever this time, an actual hell that was too great a punishment for a man whose biggest sins were his dumb flaws. He could be a dick, sure, but he never purposefully hurt people. It wasn't fair. He listened to Knox's updates and it didn't sound like much had changed while he was away but it was good to hear nothing awful had happened. No news was good news and all that. "I'd love some eggs and bacon," he replied, snapped out of his ponderings by the question and leave it to Knox to make everything better with food. "When the others wake up I just want to pile with all of you on the couch and watch a stupid comedy or something. Popcorn and soda and the works."
Knox loved to eat, even though he didn’t strictly need to do it. His humans did though, and he loved filling their bellies even more than his own. He tried to take care of them as much as he possibly could, but when there were things he couldn’t fix, he always tried to concentrate on their physical needs. He couldn’t reset the past few months for Max, or reverse all the worry the rest of them had gone through, but he could make sure they were fed and warm and safe, so they could heal. Knox pulled out the eggs and bacon and butter to start making what Max asked for, flashing him another bright grin. “That sounds absolutely perfect,” he said. Did they have popcorn? No matter, Knox could get some. Or send Aya for some if she was cooperative. Her abilities made shopping so much easier, and he didn’t honestly give a shit that she stole it all. The human economy was a ridiculous fiction anyway. Knox got the frying pan out and started to melt some butter in it, glancing over at Max again. “Do you remember all of your time over there too?” he asked, his voice a little more serious. “I’m here if you want to talk about anything.”
Just thinking about that other place made Max feel cold and his hands numb. "Yeah," he said quietly, toying with the frayed edges of the old table cloth in front of him. He kind of wished he didn't remember his time away and he really didn't want to talk about it. It had been long, hard, awful, miserable, he wasn't even sure he knew words that were big enough to cover just how horrible it had been. "We had a werewolf," he opted for, almost cheerfully. "So that was new. To me, at least. Probably not you. Pretty tame too, not a beast out of hell like I would have thought, you know?" It was easier to talk about something like that and to focus on the table cloth, it was so fucking old, he remembered it being there when he was a kid and mom was still alive. At least he could remember that now, it was definitely a nicer thing to think about.
It was mostly the intuition that came from knowing someone most of their life, but Knox could sense the dip in Max’s mood even though he tried to cover it up. He made a mental note not to ask about the other place again for a while. Max probably needed more time to process all of this. “A werewolf?” Knox echoed with a bit of a laugh as he looked over again. “No shit. Every one I’ve ever seen has been a wild hungry monster, so that’s ... interesting.” He wondered what it meant, if the Over There place affected the mind of supernaturals or something. It made him curious to ask more questions, but he’d just decided not to do that. “Glad you got lucky there, at least. Small favors.” Knox started cracking eggs into the pan.
"Yeah I doubt I'd have lived to tell about it if he hadn't been, but he was handy to have around," Max murmured and on impulse, as if to remind himself he was really here, he pulled his hoodie up over his mouth and nose, breathing in the faint smell of detergent. The cotton was so soft without grime on it, he'd found himself doing this all the damn time after he'd come home, sticking his nose in clean laundry. By the time he let it drop the smell of food was slowly filling the kitchen so that was nice too; grounding. "I should go check on Greer soon," he mumbled but it was daunting for some reason, like seeing her would transport him right back there.
If the wolf wasn’t a danger to the people, Knox could see how one would probably be nice to have in that sort of situation. A monster to scare the monsters. He figured he would hear more about it when Max felt like talking more, if ever. In the meantime he worked on breakfast, glancing over at his charge when Max spoke again. “Ah yes,” he said. “We talked to her boyfriends after you all went missing, me and Shayna Mae. Beforehand too, actually. They wanted help finding out what was wrong with her. And that was ah, as far as we got, unfortunately.” Knox’s voice held real regret. If they could’ve helped Greer, they could’ve helped Max too, and maybe could’ve avoided all of this. Maybe. “I’m sure she would love to see you again.”
Max couldn't help but think about how he'd promised Greer - and Jasper too, for that matter - that Knox would find him. Any day now, he'd thought, because Knox always knew where to find him. He was pretty sure he had tried, as soon as Max was back, Knox had been there as fast as he could to make sure he was safe and take him home. Still, thinking about it made him feel a little choked up and all the logic in the world couldn't tell that small part of him that he hadn't been abandoned. "Did you try to find me?" he asked hoarsely and while he wanted to believe that his family had done everything they could, that small rejected part of him told him that maybe they hadn't, maybe they had written him off until that other place had spat him out again.
The emotion in Max’s voice caught Knox’s attention, and his hands paused in their cooking routine. “Max,” he murmured, then picked up the skillet and carried it over to where Max was sitting so he wouldn’t scorch the eggs. Holding the hot pan away from sensitive human skin, he leaned over to wrap his free arm around Max’s shoulders in a rough sort of hug, then gave him a gentle headbutt. “‘Course we tried to find you,” Knox rumbled. “We found everybody we could talk to about it, your siblings did spells to see if they could locate you, I searched everywhere for another possible hole ... and it wasn’t just us workin’ on it either. Caius D’Onofrio lost his mother too, and the McCarthy wife was gone. None of us could do anything, but we all tried.” Knox kissed the top of his head before mussing up his hair a bit. “It killed me that I couldn’t feel you. Like a damn hole in my gut.”
Max leaned into it, swallowing against that lump forming in his throat. Knox hadn't been able to feel him, that made a lot more sense. Had he already told him that? The last couple of days were so muddled, like half his brain just wasn't working. "I was so sure you'd come," he admitted. "You always do." He huffed a little laugh because it was easier than giving into that weird urge to start crying and he knew if he started now, he wouldn't stop for hours. It was better to stifle it until it faded away, Max hated crying. "Shouldn't be surprised that fucking place locked you out, I'm not sure anything good could survive there for long and that includes magic."
The idea of Max in that place, hoping and waiting for Knox’s ‘imminent’ arrival only to be continually disappointed ... it made his chest ache. He’d done a lot of beating himself up in the early weeks after Max’s disappearance, feeling like a failure, and hearing that just stirred those feelings up again. “I would’a been there in a blink if I could have,” he murmured, squeezing Max again. Knox’s own throat felt a bit tight, and he likely would’ve started crying too if Max did. Instead he petted him a bit more, then moved away to go back to the stove to finish making him some food. Food made everybody feel better, after all.
Max leaned into the embrace while it was there and that awful little part of him felt at least partially soothed. It was that part of him that had swung wildly between sadness and rage at being locked away in some kind of a hell dimension. He'd wished so hard for Knox to show up and then he'd felt so angry when he didn't and then he'd felt so guilty for that anger because not believing Knox was looking for him felt wrong. But he'd swung back and forth continuously, oftentimes believing with his whole heart that his family was moving on without him, that he'd never really fit in anyway, that it'd be easier without him there fucking everything up. He wasn't so sure he'd have survived at all if Greer hadn't been there, grounding him with her presence. Now he felt guilty all over again for all those times he'd cursed his family and he got up to grab a beer from the fridge. "I know you would've," he mumbled because most of the time he thought he had believed that, despite the rage inside of him. "It just wasn't a place that allowed for a lot of uh- good will." He popped the bottle open, backed his butt up against the counter near Knox and gave him a weary smile. "I missed you so much though, all of you."
It would’ve broken Knox’s heart to hear all that, but he’d already been brokenhearted several times over from this whole situation, so it would just be par for the course. He’d flown to Max the instant he’d sensed him back in their world, and that had been the best he could do. He could only be relieved that whatever power had kept him locked away had released him. Again. Being imprisoned twice in one lifetime, especially so close together, had to have a profound effect on a person, and Knox silently vowed to keep a protective eye on Max. He’d been gone for long enough, they didn’t need to let him slip into some awful depression following all of this. Knox got the eggs and bacon onto a plate, glancing over at the bottle of beer but not commenting. It went well with bacon, and Max was entitled to a beer when he wanted one. For a while, anyway. “We missed you too,” he said again, offering the plate out to Max. “If you need to be upset or angry with us too, you know that’s okay. You were just in hell for months. However you need to deal with it? We can deal with you.” Knox gave him a little smile, hoping it was reassuring.
Max smiled at him, though it came off as more of a grimace and his eyes stung now along with that lump reemerging in his throat. "Wasn't your fault," he mumbled. "I'd be angry at the people who sent me there but they saved your lives so... I'll just stay mad at those fucking things that came crawling out into our world." At this point that felt like being angry at some imaginary being, even if he still had the scar to remind him they'd been very real. They felt distant because they didn't belong here, everything about that other place was beginning to feel unreal like a bad dream where everything blurred together into one horrible event that never seemed to end. He grabbed his plate and headed for the table again, nudging a chair out in an indication for Knox to join him. "Can't make any promises I won't be a pain in the ass though so, thanks."
Knox ambled over to the table to sit down as well, though he reached over to ruffle Max’s hair before his ass hit the chair. “You’ve always been a pain in the ass,” he said with warm affection. It would be time to get the others up soon, share the good news with the rest of the family that Max remembered who he was, but Knox was enjoying this time for just the two of them, he couldn’t deny that. He knew that Max had always felt like half an outsider in the O’Reilly family, coming from different blood and all, but Knox knew better. He was family, no matter what. Knox settled in with his arms crossed loosely over his chest, long legs stretched out under the table next to Max’s. “So do you feel you have everything back?” he asked. “It all makes sense to you and everything? No confusion, questions?”
"Like I never forgot," Max murmured. "Last few months just feel like a bad trip, how I acted before- it wasn't like being possessed or anything, just... I don't know. Strung out on some fucked up drugs. I didn't care if I hurt you, any of you, it's fucking scary to think about it." He frowned softly but it didn't last, not when he started eating and the taste of homecooked breakfast brought him momentarily back from that brink of depression. "I didn't miss eating, I wouldn't have wanted anything in my mouth over there, but now I do. Does that even make sense? This is so good." He grinned at Knox, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. It might be a while before he felt completely okay but this was a damn good start.
Always tuned into his family, Knox could tell Max didn’t feel that grin all the way, but it was still nice to see. Sometimes you had to fake it until you made it, as they said. Knox hadn’t been lying when he’d said they could handle however Max needed to act to deal with all of this. Sometimes human feelings were unpredictable. “It makes sense,” Knox told him with a half-smile back. “And I’m happy to feed you again. You definitely weren’t in your right mind before you disappeared, we all knew it.” Knox remembered all too vividly the callous attitude Max had had about his siblings’ suffering. That hadn’t been the real Max, he’d known better. Knox was just glad that he’d ultimately left without a fight. It would’ve hurt even more to lose him. “So glad you’re really back,” he murmured.
"Me too, brother," Max murmured, reaching over to grab Knox's forearm, giving it a little squeeze. It was reassuring having him there and he was probably fifty times happier to have Knox cooking for him than Knox was doing it and that was saying a lot. It helped to know he enjoyed it, that he wasn't just doing it out of some twisted sense of duty. No, Max knew Knox and now that he remembered him it was easy to see he was happy to be there. "I'm so glad I wasn't on probation," he muttered. "Shit that would have been bad. Those fuckers are relentless." Maybe he could have asked Aya to smuggle him out of the country or something, there was no way he was going straight back to jail after serving his time and then some, his time in 'hell' probably counted for at least a decade in a normal prison.
“Thank Gaia for small favors,” Knox muttered with a faint chuckle. They would have tried to take care of it one way or another, even if it meant calling in some magical favors. No way was the family going to lose Max to prison again after just getting him back. Luckily it wasn’t anything they had to worry about. Hopefully there wouldn’t be any major worries for a while, but Knox knew that peace never lasted for very long. They just had to enjoy it while it lasted. He watched Max eat, happy to be able to give him something he needed and obviously enjoyed. Soon enough everybody else would be awake and aware that their Max was truly back, and they could celebrate as a family, but Knox was deeply appreciative to have this time with just him. His relationships with all of them were strange and unique, and he loved every single one dearly.