Connor Ford (docford) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2020-12-06 10:03:00 |
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Entry tags: | #may 2018, connor, connor x jacob, jacob |
Who: Connor & Jacob
Where: Their home, Winthrop Dr
When: Late afternoon, May 12th
Warning: turns NSFW
Status: complete
Jacob was on edge after the visit to the hospital. Feelings were stupid, he should be relieved that Sage was back, clinging to hope that his memories would return and that he'd be okay. Instead he was wound up tight, sadness warring with the joy of seeing his friend again after all this time thinking he was lost forever. He cried a little once he got home, took a steaming hot shower and then tried to focus on drawing or something until Connor came home. It didn't work and some part of him wished he lived alone right now so he could get completely shitfaced and not have to see Connor making a disappointed face at him when he got home. Of course he recognized it as self destructive but it was so damn appealing when he felt like he was crawling out of his skin.
When he heard the car pull up in the driveway he couldn't bring himself to go meet Connor at the door. A part of him wanted to leave or hide, to not have to deal with anyone at the moment. He immediately felt guilty for it because of course those feelings had nothing to do with Connor, it was just anger and hurt and trauma all bubbling to the surface, wanting to rip him apart and he did not want Connor to see catch a whiff of it but he wasn't at all sure he could hide it.
Connor hadn’t been directly treating Sage, but he’d known as soon as he saw him that Jacob needed to know he was back. Then he’d fretted about his boy for the rest of the day. Connor hadn’t tried to call him, between being busy with patients and wanting to give Jacob space to process, but he’d definitely thought about it more than once. It was a small hospital and word had quickly gotten around that Sage was suffering from amnesia, and Connor knew that would be upsetting to his best friends.
He picked up some takeout on the way home from his shift, some fatty comfort food for both of them, though he wasn’t sure if Jacob would really have an appetite. It could wait, if not. The fact that Jacob wasn’t there at the door to greet him gave him a sad little pang, and for a moment he wondered if his boy was even home. Connor didn’t call for him, just shed his shoes and jacket and took the food into the kitchen. He passed through the living room on the way to the stairs, glancing around for Jacob, even though he had a fairly good idea of where he was. Connor padded up the steps and headed straight for Jacob’s studio room. He walked in a couple of paces and stopped, not wanting to crowd him if he didn’t want to talk. “Hey there,” he murmured.
Jacob swiveled around in his chair, knowing he probably looked like shit after the crying despite having taken a hot shower and wishing he could shake it off and not inflict his misery on Connor. The guilt only grew when he found himself completely incapable of being the way he wanted to be with him and he gave him a tight lipped and wry smile. "Hi," he said quietly and if he didn't know Connor as well as he did by now, he'd have worried he was ruining everything by not being the perfect little sub today. But he knew better and the gratitude he felt for knowing he was allowed a bad day only quadrupled the guilty feeling he felt for having it. "I wanted to find you at the hospital but they said you were with a patient and I was with Joss..." Get up, he thought. Get up and hug him. It was weird how his body didn't want to move, even if it felt like his insides were all squirmy and he wasn't able to sit completely still.
The lack of a physical greeting was just as much a sign of upset as the tired, red look to Jacob’s eyes. It worried Connor a bit, but not in any demanding way. He wasn’t worried about Jacob playing the role of a perfect sub, he was worried about Jacob, period. “That’s okay, I didn’t expect you,” he said softly, walking forward again. Once he could reach him, Connor settled a hand on Jacob’s shoulder and gave a squeeze. There was tension there, and he could see more in Jacob’s body. Connor didn’t want to force him up into a hug, but the physical connection felt important at the moment. He was there for his boy, he wanted to show it in every way possible. “I’m guessing it didn’t go well, huh.”
The touch was soothing and welcome, Jacob just didn't have it in him to initiate it but he reached up to cover Connor's hand, closing his eyes for a moment. "It was, he's okay. He's back. I should be happy," he mumbled and felt that stupid pressure behind his eyes again so he kept his eyes closed and took a deep breath to try to smother it. "I just- I feel like I should be doing something, I should go back there and show him pictures or tell him things and - or-" he mentally flailed for words to capture the riot inside his mind, frowning in frustration. "I don't want to overwhelm him but I'm just... here. And I can't even draw and everything is just so- it's just too much and I should- I should do something."
Connor pulled Jacob’s chair away from the desk a bit and stepped behind him, settling both hands on Jacob’s shoulders. He massaged the muscle gently. “I understand where that feeling is coming from,” he told him equally gently. “But there’s not really anything you can do except be patient. Let him rest and recover a bit, maybe it’ll all come back on its own.” Connor couldn’t promise that, of course. What Sage had been through sounded bizarre and traumatic, and amnesia was so tricky and hard to predict, nobody could make any promises. But he knew that didn’t really help the frantic sense in Jacob that he needed to take action and help. Connor leaned down a bit and slid his arms around Jacob’s chest to give him a squeeze. “And don’t bully yourself for feeling any certain way about this, it’s a lot to deal with. You feel how you feel, okay?”
Jacob's knee was bouncing restlessly but that little squeeze made him stop momentarily and he relaxed just a little, clutching at Connor's arms. "Don't let go," he whispered because it was grounding and he might not have had the energy to get up and go meet Connor at the door to give him that hug he so needed but this felt good. Safe. "I cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom and I still feel like I need to move, need to run but I'm so tired." He was mumbling, unsure if Connor could even make out the words but it didn't feel like it mattered, he was just venting and Connor holding him helped.
It was a small change, but Connor could still feel it as Jacob unclenched slightly. He heard most of what Jacob said, and an idea started to form in his head on how he could help. Connor shifted his grip around Jacob a bit, moving his hands to take hold of the boy’s wrists while still embracing him. He did it slowly and deliberately so Jacob could pull out of it if he wanted to, but he held on with a good amount of pressure. Connor could hear the tiredness in his boy’s voice and it made his chest ache a little. All of that nervous, agitated energy either needed somewhere to go or something to calm it down. “Does this help any?” he murmured, squeezing a little tighter.
Jacob associated bondage with sex most of the time and it had been a while since he'd been restrained by someone he wasn't horny for, not to mention crazy in love with. In this moment he was reminded of that feeling though, when his friend Erin had practiced her rope work on him and he'd felt soothed by it. There was no rope, but Connor was holding him in a way that if he tried to push away, he would fail unless Connor let him. He didn't try to break free though, had no energy or desire to do so and the pressure was taking the edge off in a way that was more surprising than it should have been. "Yeah," he whispered and god he loved Connor. The guilt had faded too because Connor didn't look hurt over Jacob not being his warm, clingy self. He was just there, holding him, pulling him down to the ground.
Connor enjoyed the art and skill of rope work, and Jacob looked incredibly hot when he was tied up, but it had never occurred to him before that bondage might be a therapeutic thing for his boy. Granted, Connor couldn’t remember ever seeing him this kind of agitated before. He knew such things could be effective for some people though, and he wanted to make his boy feel better. Connor hugged Jacob harder for a moment, pressing a firm kiss against the side of his neck. “Come on,” he murmured then, starting to let go and pull back. “You need a distraction. Come to the bedroom with me.” There wasn’t anything suggestive or flirtatious in Connor’s tone -- he wasn’t planning on a seduction, he was going to take care of his boy in a different way.
Something small inside Jacob wanted to whine when Connor let him go and it felt like he'd lost his tether when he pulled away. But he wasn't leaving him behind so Jacob forced himself to his feet to follow. It could have been sexual, he would do anything Connor wanted and today was not an exception but there was something comforting about the way he said it, like they weren't done here. He'd put on comfortable clothes after his shower and it was warm inside so he hadn't bothered with socks, making do with jogging pants and a loose t-shirt and nothing else. He trailed after Connor, feeling weirdly detached and antsy again, then stopped by the bedroom door. "No clothes in the bedroom?" he asked, not sure what the rules were today, not sure about anything at all.
He would’ve ended up pushing Jacob along in the chair if he hadn’t wanted to get up, but he followed like the obedient boy that he was. It made Connor feel warm in the chest. Even in such a state, he was such a good sub. Connor turned at the question, eyes ticking down over what Jacob was wearing even as he reached up and back to grab his own t-shirt to pull it off. Connor debated which answer might be best for a moment, then shook his head a little. “Leave them on for now,” he said, motioning for Jacob to come inside. Sensing his boy needed some direction, he nodded toward the bed. “Go stand over there.” Connor went to the dresser where he stashed most of their toys, and opened a drawer to find the rope that Jacob had gifted to him.
When Jacob saw the rope, he felt like crying again but for completely different reasons this time. He gave Connor a tired little smile that was far less strained than the one he'd given him earlier, feeling something loosen up inside him. He knew better than to wish for a dom who could read his mind though he certainly did anyway, but sometimes Connor picked up on his needs like this without him having to vocalize and find the energy to ask for things and it made him feel like melting. Connor hadn't even touched him yet and he could already feel the effects start seeping in, a little bit of that restless tension in his body relenting.
Connor might not have been psychic, but he was more tuned into Jacob than he had been with anyone else in his life, and sometimes wasn’t that akin to reading someone’s mind? This was somewhat of an experiment since they’d never used the rope before in this way, but if Jacob was feeling better with Connor holding him, maybe the pressure from some bondage would soothe him further. With a soft smile of his own, he approached Jacob at the side of the bed and looked him over assessingly to decide where to start. “Anything you don’t want tied?” he asked. Consent was always important, even if his poor boy was too frazzled to be very articulate.
Jacob's gut reaction was to say no right away but instead he took a moment to assess how he was feeling first because putting all his trust in Connor meant Connor was also putting his trust in Jacob and he needed to keep that trust, no matter how out of it he felt. So he took a few seconds to check in with himself, if anything felt sore, if anything felt off limits. When he shook his head he could do it with some confidence and it helped to know that this wasn't a roleplay, he could ask Connor for something different if he needed to.
He was glad that Jacob took the time to think about it. Sometimes an aversion to something wasn’t always apparent, and the last thing Connor wanted to do was upset him even further. Once Jacob gave him the go-ahead, Connor stepped in closer and nudged Jacob’s arms to get him to lift them so he could start wrapping the thick silky rope around his chest. “You’re a good friend,” he murmured, his face close to Jacob’s. Connor brushed a soft kiss against his cheek before he wrapped the rope for another layer. “And a beautiful person --” another sweet kiss, another wrap of the rope, “And I love you very much.” Connor moved on to wrapping the rope around Jacob’s bicep on one side, then around his chest again to tie down the other side as well. “But right now,” he murmured, and nuzzled his nose to Jacob’s. “You’re mine, and I just want you to be.”
There was still a little voice somewhere in the back of Jacob's mind that wanted to protest, a 'but' on the tip of his tongue that he swallowed back, biting his lip and drawing in a slow breath. He always felt good when Connor praised him but this wasn't sexual praise, it was deeply personal and he found it hard to accept it fully. The rope helped, a reminder that he belonged to Connor helped even more and he huffed softly, a lopsided smile gracing his lips for a split second before a little shiver went through him. "I love you," he whispered, trying to shake that extra bit of tension he hadn't noticed was there, the one that wasn't purely physical, the one that made it easier to approach everything from a cynical standpoint or break out the sarcasm or roll his eyes. Beautiful person, good friend, it didn't sound right but giving into this very base urge felt like spitting in Connor's face so he tried to accept, focused on his breathing and the rope against his skin.
It was a labor of love, getting Jacob used to accepting compliments. Connor knew that the ones the boy heard when he was on his knees, naked and hard and fully in subspace, were easier for him to take than the kind that applied to his normal everyday character. He felt a little swell of pride when Jacob didn’t contradict him, and Connor’s smile lingered for a few moments. He carefully tightened everything down around Jacob’s chest and upper arms, then pulled his wrists together in front of him. He handled him firmly but didn’t jerk hard, aware that sometimes that authoritative pressure could feel good, reassuring. Connor had him, always. He tied Jacob’s hands together, careful of the tightness there, then guided him to sit down on the edge of the bed. Connor knelt down and placed a kiss on each of Jacob’s knees before he pushed them together to tie his thighs too.
Jacob didn't feel like struggling but he did test the bonds, finding it soothing that they held even when he put some strength into it. He could probably wriggle and thrash around and they'd hold and it eased something inside of him to know he was completely helpless. That manic urge to Do Something could scream inside his head all he wanted, he couldn't do anything with his hands right now and soon he wouldn't even be able to get up and walk without maybe awkwardly hopping and risking falling over. It was a strange and heady feeling to do this outside of sex, he knew Connor could easily change the atmosphere and get him in the mood but at this moment it just felt like a nice massage might feel, or a hot bath, or falling asleep after crying.
Once Connor had him bound at the thighs too, he straightened up and braced one of his knees against the bed. He scooped Jacob up in his arms enough to move him backward, then shifted him around until he was stretched out and had a couple of pillows behind him. He looked pretty cute like that, all trussed up over his clothes, but Connor wasn’t going to say so at the moment. This was about making Jacob feel better, not objectifying him. Not yet, anyway. If his mood improved enough ... who knew. Connor climbed fully onto the bed and settled next to him, looking him over closely. “How’s that feel? Not too tight?” he murmured, reaching over to gently squeeze one of Jacob’s hands.
Jacob stretched a bit and flexed his muscles against the rope, then shook his head with a small smile. "It feels good," he whispered. "Thank you." It somewhat contradicted his usual feelings about bondage, that part of him that liked to ramp up his own fear and helplessness was quiet right now, the ropes felt more like a safety net and having Connor move him around because he was unable to really do it himself sparked some other feelings inside him he couldn't quite find a name for. It felt therapeutic and he squirmed a bit again to get closer to Connor, watching him with a new softness in his gaze.
It was undeniably cute to watch Jacob wiggle to get closer, and Connor was smiling as he moved to meet him, adjusting them until they were close and comfortable with Connor’s arm around Jacob’s shoulders. Connor lifted his hand to toy with Jacob’s hair, resting his cheek against the boy’s forehead. It felt nice to him too, to be able to give Jacob what he needed, provide those external things that made the internal easier to deal with. “You’re welcome,” he rumbled softly, belatedly. “Nap if you can and want to ... or want me to turn on the TV? We can watch cat videos on my phone?” Connor smiled crookedly and added a mumbled, “Too many questions.”
"Whatever you want," Jacob replied softly. "I'm just... being." That was what Connor had told him to do, wasn't it? Just be? It was an easy request to fulfill at the moment, he felt both grounded and floating, most of his focus on the ropes and the way they held him firmly and the heat radiating from Connor's body. These were good things to focus on. He thought he might actually drift off if only for a few minutes, all the fretting and beating himself up over the day had exhausted him and crying had done a number on him too. He was finally relaxing now, fully relaxing, able to let go of the noise in his head.
Connor gave a hum and turned his head to kiss Jacob’s eyebrow. “That’s my good boy,” he murmured with warm approval. He had indeed told Jacob to just be, so Connor supposed he ought to leave him to it. He slipped his phone out of the pocket of his lounge pants and unlocked it, settling his arm comfortably enough so he could do some scrolling. It was less noisy and intrusive than turning on the TV, and there was plenty on social media to keep Connor occupied while Jacob unwound and settled in. “I’m here if you need anything,” he whispered. Jacob knew that, he was sure, but it never hurt to remind him.
Like meditation, Jacob's mind wasn't completely still, sparking up with intrusive thoughts every so often but it was easier to let them go because he was helpless to act on them. He curled up against Connor and pressed his face against his arm, pulling on the rope a few times and focused on just being. Connor wasn't ignoring him but he was keeping busy with something else and that was strangely perfect. He had wanted to run away, to not be there for him today and Connor was letting him, just not in a self destructive way. He let himself drift, thought about where he would have gone if he had indulged in those fleeting urges, how damaging it would have been, how hard it would have to come back down from it. Gratitude seeped in to replace the restlessness and soon his thoughts grew a little more chaotic and dumb, morphing into dreams that didn't make sense.
Connor tried to find a good balance between giving Jacob space to feel however he was feeling, and not ignoring him, turning the phone every so often to let Jacob watch something cute, or to show him a good piece of art. When Connor did have the time to play around on social media, he liked to find nice positive things to look at -- his job was dark enough. Eventually Connor felt Jacob’s body getting heavier against his, and he knew his boy was falling asleep. Smiling to himself and feeling warm in his stomach, Connor let him nap, comfortable right where he was, content doing exactly what he was doing. Feeling Jacob relax against him and doze off made Connor so stupidly happy. This was the part of being a dom that meant the most to him, fulfilling the role when the stakes were so much higher than in the bedroom.
Jacob didn't sleep for long but he felt like he did, like he was under for hours and not just half of one. It was strange to wake up and everything was the same around him while he felt different and he was wide awake almost instantly. Connor was still there and Jacob knew he was aware Jacob was awake now even if he hadn't opened his eyes yet. It was always easy to tell if the person next to him was awake or asleep. How long had he sat there just browsing his phone and letting Jacob sleep? It wasn't plugged in so probably not too long. Jacob opened his eyes, tested the ropes still holding him in place and then butted his head gently against Connor's arm. "You're still here."
It didn’t feel like very long at all to Connor, because the internet was an absolute time suck and he was still physically comfortable. Eventually something would start to hurt if he stayed in that position too long, that was just how his body was now, but nothing ached yet. He looked over at Jacob with a warm smile and gave a little chuckle at the headbutt. “‘Course I am,” he murmured back. Connor dipped in to kiss his forehead. “I wasn’t gonna leave you. And you weren’t out that long. ... everything still feeling okay?” He set his phone down on his chest and reached over to brush his fingers down the bare skin of Jacob’s arm.
Self-assessment could be so hard when Jacob was so used to ignoring so many parts of himself and his life. The first thing he noted was that nothing hurt, the rope didn't cut into him in any uncomfortable spots and he could easily wiggle his fingers and toes without discomfort. It was the emotional part that was harder to suss out. He felt more awake, he didn't feel like running away or hitting his head against a wall in pure frustration. He felt a little confused but that was just from sleeping. "Everything is still okay," he murmured, his voice cracking a little and he squirmed against the rope, testing it, pushing the boundary. "I wonder if I could get out of this," he added with a drowsy little smile.
That smile was good to see, and Connor’s lips twitched upward too. He shifted away a bit and rolled onto his side, tucking his phone off to the side out of the way, all of his attention now on Jacob. That hadn’t been a long nap, but he still looked more relaxed and rested than he had when Connor had first come home. “Bet you can’t,” he murmured with a little grin. “But I would enjoy watching you try.” Connor slipped his fingers under the rope around Jacob’s chest to give it a little tug. He was feeling lazily playful himself, and there was a part of him that had to notice that Jacob looked pretty tasty when he was squirming like that.
Jacob knew people who could wiggle out of any bonds, frustrating their rope-tops endlessly by presenting them with new challenges. He didn't think he was one of them but it did bring back memories of being a kid playing some game or another where the heroes were tied up by the villains and had to escape. It had always made him tingle a little inside and he'd started understanding why as he got older. "Well-" he murmured, squirming again and twisted his hands in front of him before rolling onto his back. "They're not too tight," he muttered and that could be a bonus, they were thorough though, he couldn't move his wrists far from his body or his arms out from his sides.
Connor watched him with a little smile -- he’d played some of those tie-up games himself as a kid, and while he’d hated being restrained, he had gotten his tingles from doing the tying. Especially if they were blindfolded t0o. There was just something about having that much power over someone that got his engines revving. Watching Jacob work his muscles against the bonds gave Connor that deep-stomach flutter. He kept touching Jacob too, running his hand down the boy’s arm and across the ropes wrapped around his chest. Connor kind of wished he’d told him to take off more clothes before he’d tied him up, but that hadn’t been the point at the time. It likely shouldn’t be the point now, but watching his boy squirm around against the ropes was doing pleasant things to him. “I can fix that,” he murmured, his hand brushing down over Jacob’s side.
"No," Jacob quickly replied in half a whine, half a giggle. "It's tight enough." He was already certain he wasn't about to wiggle out of this because of the way Connor had tied him, the rope might not be tight but it was all intricately connected and didn't allow for any extra slack. His only 'hope' was the knots and he couldn't reach them. Connor had secured the loose ends well. "This is easier with someone who doesn't know how to tie you up," Jacob admitted, still squirming but at this point it was only because it felt good.
He laughed softly and slipped a couple of fingers under the ropes around Jacob’s chest again just to feel the pressure there. He had enough space to breathe, but the whole point had been to make him feel snug and secure. Connor was happy he’d found a good balance, and hearing Jacob giggle even a little was a relief. “Too bad you got stuck with a professional,” Connor said with a grin. He slipped his hand around to Jacob’s stomach and Connor pulled the front of his shirt up a bit to touch the bare skin. “And now you’re really stuck, and all mine.”
Jacob stilled and he could feel the mood shifting almost like it was a tangible thing. Or maybe it was just his own mood, but those words settled in, heavy and hot in his gut. There was that helpless feeling he loved, not the truly helpless feeling he'd had earlier but the one that made him feel like prey in the most delicious way. He arched his back a little and pulled at the ropes on his wrists but couldn't even bring his hands down enough to nudge Connor's hand. "What are you going to do?" he asked and the words 'I am always yours' were right there on the tip of his tongue, unspoken because it was more fun to act apprehensive in the moment.
Connor knew he kept his boy feeling safe and as happy as he could, it was one of the main goals of his life now, but god there was just something about the little roleplay. Captive, helpless boy versus hungry, powerful dom. It would be so silly if it wasn’t so hot for both of them. Jacob was already moving different, Connor could already see the shift in his posture. He let his gaze drift down Jacob’s body, fingers grazing over the smooth soft skin of his side before he dipped them under the waistband of his pants a little. “Looks like the only answer to that is ‘whatever I want,’” he murmured, his gaze settling on Jacob’s again. “Because how are you gonna stop me?”
"I can't," Jacob admitted with a touch of hesitation and it was stupid how fast his body reacted to the mere idea of Connor taking whatever he wanted, his cock already getting harder, everything inside him feeling hotter and more on edge. He squirmed again, snapping his hips up and tugging on the bonds again. A part of him wanted to put up a fight, to beg and plead for Connor to not hurt him, to really act up the 'prey' part but everything felt so nicely sluggish and warm, it didn't quite feel right to slip into some heavy rape fantasy. "You're not gonna hurt me, are you?" he asked instead and at this point he wasn't sure if it was a request or a challenge.
That growing bulge in Jacob’s soft pants was impossible to miss, especially with the way he rolled his body, and Connor felt himself slipping further into his own favorite warm headspace. Jacob’s question made his belly flutter happily and Connor gave him a slow grin. “I won’t hurt you as long as you’re a good boy,” he murmured, shifting his body in even closer to Jacob’s side. Keeping his hand between the boy’s pants and his underwear, Connor brushed his hand over Jacob’s erection, a teasingly soft touch. “Are you going to be a good boy for me, Jacob?” He wasn’t sure yet either whether Jacob wanted to be ‘hurt’ or not, but Connor was watching his cues closely.
"Yes," Jacob replied but it came out unsure, almost like a question and he could feel his arousal rush through him like a scorching need, mixed with a weird urge to cry. Already he could imagine Connor taking control of him, exerting his dominance whether Jacob wanted him to or not and if Connor for some reason decided to leave him alone now, that would be its own brand of torment. "Please-" he added and it was double-edged, please don't, please do, please don't stop touching.
The definition of ‘good’ varied from time to time, and something about the uncertainty in Jacob’s voice made some blood rush into Connor’s cock. This was something safe and pleasurable Jacob could be unsure about -- unsure on the surface, but deeply secure that Connor would never do anything to truly hurt him -- and Connor wanted to give him that space. He’d already taken some control away by tying Jacob up and it had improved his mood, what if he took even more away. “Mmm, you feel like you want to be good,” he said quietly, cupping his hand over Jacob’s balls and the base of his cock. Connor pressed the heel of his hand against his erection and dipped his head in closer to nibble on Jacob’s earlobe. “But I’m not entirely convinced ... are you only thinking about me?” He punctuated the question with a fimer squeeze over Jacob’s boxers.
"Yes," Jacob said on the inhale of a gasp and he couldn't quite stop himself from bucking up into Connor's hand. Sometimes he wondered if he could fully roleplay non-consent without giving away just how much he wanted him, Connor had a way of making him stupidly pliant and needy with very little effort and as much as saying 'no' tended to turn Jacob on, it never sounded fully convincing and was always more in the vein of it being too much to bear than him actually wanting to stop. "Just you," he whispered, not sure what else he could possibly be thinking about when Connor was Everything.
Connor hummed again, soft and right into Jacob’s ear. He loved the motion of his hips that already felt hungry, desperate. Jacob was so easy to turn on, and Connor fucking loved doing it. It wasn’t realistic, but he wanted his boy breathless and hard all the time. “Good,” he whispered. “Think about how it feels when I wrap my lips around this needy little cock of yours ... when I bring you right to the edge and stop ... how it makes your balls ache.” Connor squeezed said balls a little tighter before slipping his hand further between Jacob’s legs. His thighs were tied closed, so it was a nice, warm feeling around his fingers. He pressed up against Jacob’s body, nibbling on his ear again. “Think about my stiff dick sliding into you, spreading you open for me, how full you feel, happy to be my fucktoy ...”
Jacob's imagination wasn't so much running wild as it was obediantly trailing Connor's words but he could almost feel all those things physically, muscles tightening and as he imagined Connor's cock inside of him, rubbing against sensitive spots and pushing deep, deep until it almost hurt. He let out a helpless little moan, Connor's voice alone was penetrating him in a way, making him tremble, the physical touch not enough at all and yet it almost burned him in its intensity. "Yours," he whimpered, hips stuttering as he tried to not buck so much and failed. "Please touch me." He didn't want to be edged, didn't want to be teased and yet it was so damn delicious, and he kept playing the image of Connor rolling him over and fucking him without any prep over and over in his mind until he was driving himself as crazy as Connor was.
God, he was downright edible. Connor wanted to bite Jacob all over, just enough to sting, and he started with the side of the boy’s neck. “I am touching you,” he murmured then, his voice getting a little rougher. Connor pressed harder against the spot between Jacob’s balls and his ass, loving how hot his thighs were around his hand. Burning up, trapped in clothes while he heated up from the inside. Connor was also thinking about repositioning Jacob, tugging his pants down, and fucking him hard while he was all tied up and helpless. “Is it not enough? You don’t think you should thank me instead?” He pulled his hand free to grip Jacob’s cock through his boxers, rubbing his thumb against the sensitive head as he nipped at the boy’s neck again.
It was and wasn't enough at the same time and Jacob felt like keening when Connor bit him. "Thank you," he whispered and god he had so much to thank him for but in this moment it was just the physical sensations he was grateful for and he wanted more, like a spoiled, ungrateful brat he wanted everything. The shift in Connor's mood didn't escape him and it did things to him that in combination with the rope and the arousal humming through his whole body had him feeling like he was spinning out of control. He felt overheated already, the rope both pleasant and torturous at this point, keeping him from peeling his clothes off and plastering himself against Connor.
It was a somewhat-coerced ‘thank you,’ but it turned Connor on anyway. He grinned a little at himself -- it might be unbearably cheesy if it wasn’t so hot in the moment. He could practically feel Jacob’s neediness radiating off of him, like a vibration in his body. Connor withdrew his hand just enough to slip his fingers under the elastic of Jacob’s boxers. He wrapped his hand around the hot skin of his straining erection and gave it a light stroke. “See? Good boys get rewarded,” he purred into Jacob’s ear. There was a drop of precum at the tip of Jacob’s cock, and he spread it around with his thumb. Connor bit Jacob’s neck one more time, then lifted his head. “C’mere, kiss me.”
Jacob tilted his head to do just that, no coercion needed. The spot where Connor had bit him tingled in a delicious way and Connor's hand felt oh so good and yet he couldn't bring himself to enjoy it fully, so certain Connor was about to stop and tease him. Being braced for that sudden loss of sensation had his body on edge in a different way and he didn't even question why he was trying to prepare for it. Maybe it was that whiff of a sadistic tone in Connor's voice, or it was just his own headspace messing with him. He sought out Connor's lips, pressing his own against them in an almost desperate way as he bucked up into Connor's hand, his breathing a bit strained.
Connor kept his grip loose enough that Jacob couldn’t get much good friction, definitely in the mood to tease him. Maybe it was somewhat cruel, considering Jacob had had a bad day, but Connor never left him wanting for too long, and the more on edge he kept Jacob, the more distracted he was, and the better the payoff would feel. Plus, Connor really loved to fuck him when he was squirmy and whiny and desperate. He kissed Jacob hungrily, practically able to taste the lust on his tongue, continuing to stroke him lightly and enjoy the needy hardness of his cock. Meanwhile, Connor rocked his own hips, rubbing his covered erection against the side of Jacob’s thigh and letting out a low groan against his lips.
It wasn't cruel to tease Jacob any more than it was cruel to hurt a masochist and yet he kind of felt like it was as he bucked up into Connor's hand, trying for different angles as if he could trick him into tightening his hold, rub his cock against his hand without Connor pulling away. He let out a whiny little moan into the kiss when his efforts didn't give him more friction but even this torturously light touch was driving him absolutely crazy in a good way. "Please," he moaned softly into the kiss, the word slurred and muffled and he darted his tongue against Connor's, enticing him, hoping to draw him in and urge him to do more.
Even though he often pushed Jacob into specificity, those vague ‘please’s always made Connor’s gut clench and twist in a hot way. He loved to make Jacob beg, and Connor knew he was just begging for more of everything Connor had to give. He sucked briefly on Jacob’s tongue, humming as he tasted him deeply. Connor relented and tightened his grip around Jacob’s cock to give him a few firm strokes ... but that was all. He pulled his hand out of the boy’s underwear as he broke the kiss and sat up. Connor hooked his thumbs into the sides of his pants and underwear and pushed them down, lifting his ass for a second to get them off. Once he was naked, he got up onto his knees and slung one leg over Jacob’s bound chest to straddle him. Connor guided the tip of his cock toward Jacob’s lips. “Suck,” he breathed.
Jacob's cock ached with the absence of Connor's hand and it was oh so tempting to roll onto his stomach to hump the mattress like some desperate, mindless creature. He watched Connor undress with growing heat in his gut and reveled in the weight of him when he returned to him. He didn't need to be told twice what to do, maybe he should have whined and begged for more attention to his own cock but it came so naturally to open his mouth and crane his neck to get Connor's cock inside his mouth, like it belonged there. He wasn't in the best position to do a good job of it but he swirled his tongue around the tip and sucked, like he was ordered to do, needy little moans escaping his throat as his hips bucked of their own accord, seeking something to rub against.
Connor cupped one hand against the back of Jacob’s upper neck to help support his head, hissing a breath in through his teeth as lips closed around his cock. Connor rolled his hips slowly, watching his shaft push deeper into Jacob’s mouth. Bad angle or not, the enthusiasm was fucking delightful, and Jacob’s skilled tongue sent happy shivers up Connor’s spine. He didn’t plan to stay there for long, he wanted to give Jacob a proper fucking while he was so helpless, but this was an excellent appetizer. He leaned forward and braced his hand against the headboard, pushing his cock deeper for a few long thrusts. “Fuck,” he whispered, fingers pressing hard into the back of Jacob’s neck. “That mouth feels so good ... maybe I should just come down your throat ... is that what you want?” There was a teasing lilt to his voice, because he knew better, but it was hot to make Jacob wonder for a moment.
Connor normally gave Jacob exactly what he needed and rarely left him unsatisfied but that didn't mean he never did or never would so Jacob's mind raced a bit on the possibility that he might just do that now. It was a kink in its own right, that desperation and frustration, he just wasn't sure he could take it for very long. His thoughts of 'he wouldn't, would he?' nearly gave him whiplash and he let out a little whine around Connor's cock, digging his heels into the mattress in a little kick. He couldn't speak with his mouth full but his physical and vocal reaction was every bit as loud as a 'no' would be, possibly louder and it was weirdly liberating to let go like that, to actually resist in some way even if he was still pliant and accommodating with his mouth.
Jacob’s answer was definitely clear, and Connor grinned a bit to himself. “I didn’t think so, you little slut,” he murmured with affection. “Greedy, that’s what you are.” He pushed his cock in deep and stayed there for a couple of heartbeats, blocking Jacob’s air momentarily before he pulled fully back and out of his mouth. Connor reached down to wipe the saliva off of Jacob’s chin and bottom lip, then gave his cheek a little smack before he climbed off of the boy. “I’m just going to have to fuck you, then,” he muttered as he grabbed hold of Jacob and rolled him onto his side. He pushed his knees up closer to his chest, then tugged Jacob’s waistbands down until they’d bunched up above the rope. Connor slapped one of Jacob’s ass cheeks playfully before he leaned to reach for the lube on the bedside table.
It shouldn't feel so good to be choked but it did and it shouldn't feel so good to feel used, but it also did. Jacob loved that he couldn't get away from this if he tried and the fact that he could try without ruining the moment was a turn-on in itself. He squirmed a little, ineffectively of course, the rope holding him tightly in place and along with his position didn't allow for much movement at all. He could still taste him on his tongue, faint taste of pre-cum that only served to make him more aroused. "Please," he whispered, his vocabulary pretty much reduced to that one word for now especially since it could mean so many things. Please stop, please don't stop, please touch me.
Having Jacob on his side maybe wouldn’t give Connor the ideal leverage for fucking him as hard as he wanted to, but he’d tied the boy’s hands in front of him and he still had to be mindful about not straining any of his joints too much. It would at least give Connor plenty of room to tease his cock as much as he wanted. Connor settled onto his own side behind his trussed up fucktoy, shifting in close while he got a handful of lube slicked over his cock. He slathered it onto the cleft of Jacob’s ass as well, his fingertips stroking against his hole for an extra moment. While he got his cock lined up right, Connor kissed and nipped at the side of Jacob’s neck. He wasn’t in the mood for warmup, and he knew by now that Jacob could take him without it, so he just started to to push inside of him, letting out a deep groan as that first inch pushed through the resistance.
Jacob turned his head to press his face into the pillow, his hair glued to his forehead in a reminder of how overheated he felt. He felt like he was crawling out of his skin until Connor finally pushed inside him and it felt good-bad in a delicious way, the way he pushed him open, the pressure against his insides, his body accommodating him and clenching around his cock. He was dying to reach down to stroke his own cock but Connor had tied him up just right for that not to be an option and so he ended up clenching his fists, his moans muffled by the pillow and his body ineffectually trying to push back against Connor. He was a greedy slut, Connor was right about that, there was nothing quite like feeling Connor's cock, feeling so claimed by him, utterly possessed like a good little slave and Jacob knew his pleasure and pain was all in Connor's hands, not just now but always.
There were few physical sensations that compared to sinking his cock fully into his boy -- the possession was an important aspect of it. Connor could probably find all kinds of guys to fuck if he wanted to, but Jacob was his, and he was feeling it even more keenly right then. Jacob had needed him, and Connor had been there to soothe him in a way that most people would find weird, but it worked for them. It had stirred up all kinds of caring-dominant feelings in Connor, and now Jacob was bound and at his mercy, and that got all the other types of dominant feelings riled up. Connor pushed his way fully into Jacob and stopped there, kissing his neck and letting his free hand roam over Jacob’s mostly-covered body while he let them both adjust. His balls already felt high and tight, but he wanted to make this worth it for the both of them. With a low groan near Jacob’s ear, Connor pulled his hips back a bit to push forward again, starting up a slow rhythm of short thrusts to coax his ass into loosening up. “You like that?” he hummed to Jacob, slipping his fingers under the rope around Jacob’s thighs to pull it tighter. “All tied up and mine to fuck as long as I want?”
"Yeah," Jacob moaned because there was no pretending anymore, not when he was riding a high like nothing else, feeling just how much he belonged to Connor with every nerve in his body. The tight sensation just drilled it in further and he couldn't help the little moans escaping his lips like they were dragged out of him against his will. "Please touch me, please," he whispered, his voice taking on a little keening sound at the end of the sentence and he pushed back against Connor as best as he could, his toes curling with pleasure and his cock aching with the lack of touch. He wasn't even sure touching him now was a good idea having the feeling that he wasn't about to last long with all these sensations rushing through his body like an electric current.
Those poor pitiful words were sexy as fuck, and Connor moaned deeply again, his next thrust into Jacob harder than the one before. “Not ‘til I’m done with you,” he growled into his ear, letting his teeth graze the boy’s skin again. He knew Jacob would climax quickly with a cock up his ass and Connor’s hand on him, so he would have to wait. Waiting was part of the fun. Connor’s cock was sliding more easily now, so he started fucking Jacob a bit harder and faster, ramping up into a rhythm he felt he could maintain for a while. Connor slid his arm up around Jacob’s chest to keep him tight against him, the feel of the rope tantalizing against his own skin. After another moment or two, groaning softly with almost every breath now, Connor’s hand shifted up to grip the front of Jacob’s throat.
Jacob often felt like Connor could make him come with his voice alone if he really wanted to and that possessive growl sent pleasant shivers through him that mingled with everything else going on in his body and mind. He was drifting into perfect subspace, focused only on the feel of Connor fucking him and the rhythm he was setting. The hand on his throat nearly sent him over the edge and he would have been thrashing by now if he wasn't so securely bound. Everything felt so heavy and warm, too warm, even Connor's voice felt like hot water pouring over him and Jacob felt dizzy with it, lost on the edge of a climax he wasn't sure he was going to achieve. "Please," he whispered every so often when he found the will to form words. "Please, Connor."
It felt good not to be in a rush, to give himself the room to be as indulgent as he wanted, and Connor made sure to pace himself so he would last. He slowed down every so often, grumbling his pleasure into Jacob’s ear while he slow-fucked him until his short bout of patience ran out. He squeezed the boy’s throat when his thrusts got more intense, the heat and racing heartbeat tantalizing under his fingers. His more sadistic side told him to squeeze harder, cut off Jacob’s air supply, make him lose consciousness for a moment ... but he didn’t. Not this time, not like this. Connor just kept fucking him until he finally felt like his balls were ready to explode. He slowed his hips down and let go of Jacob’s throat, slipping his hand down to ghost his fingertips over the tip of Jacob’s flushed cock instead. “You’ve been such a good boy,” he breathed next to Jacob’s ear. “You think you deserve to come?”
At any other time this would have felt almost like a philosophical question. Did he deserve to come? Was he worthy of that pleasure or of Connor's love? At this moment, Jacob was too far gone physically to even question it. He didn't care if it was a lie, didn't care if he deserved nothing good in the world because fuck it, he wanted it and the thought of not coming was devastating. So he moaned and nodded eagerly, the skin on his neck tingling where Connor's hand had gripped him tightly. He tried to buck, wanting more than just that faint touch and yes, fuck it, yes he'd been a good boy, maybe he did deserve this. "Please," he whined breathlessly. "I'm so close, please, please..." He itched to touch himself, the ropes that had been so comforting before now feeling like the restraints they really were, keeping him from touching himself and Connor and driving him a little crazy - albeit in a good way.
“God, I love it when you beg,” Connor groaned, thrusting hard into Jacob for a couple of strokes. The way his balls clenched told him that it was definitely time, if he was going to get to feel Jacob’s orgasm from the inside. He stilled his hips for a moment and took his hand away to find the bottle of lube. Once Connor had slicked up his fingers again, he reached back around to tease the head of Jacob’s cock with his fingertips. At the same time, he started to thrust in earnest again, building up rather rapidly to a hungry pace. He couldn’t tease Jacob for long though, and he finally gripped the boy’s cock in a solid fist, his breath coming in short gasps and grunts as he started to stroke.
Jacob was Gone, he wasn't going to last and he knew that the moment Connor touched him he'd come whether he wanted to or not. A part of him didn't want to; wanted to ride that wave and come at the same time Connor did, in part because he wasn't so sure he could handle the torture of post-orgasm stimulation. He didn't have a say in it though, none whatsoever. Connor's hand tightened around his cock and that was his cue to space out completely, his mind going blank as he felt reduced to nothing but a bundle of nerve endings, torturous pleasure rushing through him and making him thrash against his bonds. He was barely aware of the sounds he was making, that they were coming from him, his lip curled and his brows furrowed, hands clenched in tight fists. It was a lot, too much, almost too much to bear and his moans turned into soft whimpers as started coming down again.
Jacob’s climax was the very definition of intense and fucking delicious to Connor. The way the boy’s body squeezed his cock was just shy of painful, and nicely distracting from how closely his own pleasure was riding the edge. It felt incredibly good on his end, and he delighted in hearing and feeling Jacob completely lose control of himself. “Yeah, that’s my boy,” he whispered, not caring if Jacob couldn’t even hear him at the moment. Connor expertly stroked Jacob through it, careful of the over-sensitive head of his cock while still wringing as much out of the poor boy as he could. Once the strongest contractions were over, Connor started to thrust again, needing only a handful of hard sharp thrusts before he was coming too. He squeezed Jacob tight to his chest as he released inside of him with pulses of pleasure that made him shudder. “Fuck,” he groaned low in Jacob’s ear, his hips still rocking slightly while he drew out the last waves of ecstasy for himself.
Jacob did hear him and it only made it all that better because every time Connor praised him in every way something fluttered and warmed inside of him in the most delightful way. It almost hurt when Connor kept fucking him through and after his climax, but like so many other things it just hurt 'so good' he wouldn't dream of complaining about it. His moans were a little weaker and he felt completely dead by the time Connor finished, but he loved the way he felt as he came and his voice was honey dipped in heroin to Jacob's ears. "Oh my god," he whispered under his breath and it didn't take long before everything that had felt oh so good started to be too much; too hot, too tight, too damp and too sensitive. He was still breathing too hard, feeling almost drunk with the headiness washing over him in wave after wave.
As much as Connor’s body wanted to just drape over Jacob and doze off for a little while, the more responsible parts of him knew there were things he had to tend to first. Now that they were coming down off of that lust high, he could feel how hot Jacob’s body was, and he imagined the ropes were quickly getting uncomfortable. “God, I love you,” he whispered to his boy, pressing a kiss against his neck before he gently pulled out of Jacob and rolled back. “You did so well.” Connor sat up and undid the tie around Jacob’s thighs, then his wrists. With a gentle tug, he got Jacob to sit up as well, and untied the knot at his back. The binding around his chest and arms unraveled quick enough once it got going, and Connor let the rope slither off the side of the bed. It had served its purpose. “Are you thirsty? Do you need anything?”
Jacob let himself be maneuvered and helped with what little brain power and energy he felt like he still possessed. Once the rope was off he felt like he could curl up and sleep for days, his body was so relaxed and his mind was so still. He fidgeted to get his shirt off with some help from Connor, then leaned in against him, lazily wrapping his arms around his waist. "I love you so much," he murmured, his voice soft and drowsy. "Thank you." He probably needed a shower, he definitely needed water, but the thought of getting up for either before he actually slept for a while seemed ridiculous. "A little water maybe, if you're getting up," he added, pretty sure Connor would get up to get it for him whether he needed anything or not but wanting to make sure he knew there was the option not to. Jacob would fall asleep soon, he could feel it in every relaxed muscle of his body how ready he was for that. The water would be good but not strictly necessary.
Connor shifted around to comfortably hug Jacob back, happy to feel his boy’s bare skin against his own, even though it was damp with sweat and still cooling down. That felt good too, actually, physical evidence that they’d had a delightful time. Connor didn’t get up right away, lingering for a few moments in holding Jacob and stroking his hair. They both needed to clean up, but the way Jacob leaned against him seemed boneless and sleepy, and Connor wanted him to rest if he needed it. Finally though, his need to pee won out and he kissed Jacob’s head once more before starting to pull away. “Be right back,” he murmured gently. “I’ll bring you something to drink.”
Jacob smiled and nodded and while he was determined not to fall asleep before Connor returned, he still found himself dozing off after he couldn't resist lying down. It wasn't deep sleep, more like drifting off and suddenly Connor was back and it woke him up again. He knew the water would be good for him so he fought the urge to stay asleep, wiggling out of his sweatpants and kicking them aside before pushing himself up enough to accept the drink. "I had no idea how much I needed that," he murmured and the cool water on his tongue woke him up a little and felt like bliss going down. He'd tidy this place up tomorrow, change the sheets, do something nice for Connor when he got back. He had a feeling he'd be in a lot better mood than he'd been today, his sleepiness of the sort that promised a good night's sleep.
Considering how dozy Jacob was, Connor didn’t rush through washing himself off in the bathroom sink and then going to fetch some water for the both of them. He came back feeling refreshed and relaxed and content, and it showed on his face as he handed Jacob his water and joined him again in bed. He wasn’t sure if Jacob meant he’d needed the bonded fucking, or the water, but it didn’t really matter. What mattered was that he was giving his boy what he needed, and that put a warmer feeling in his chest than a hundred incredible orgasms would have. “Good,” he murmured, pulling Jacob in close for some comfortable snuggling. “I’ll always try to give you exactly what you need.” Connor kissed his boy and settled in, ready to enjoy the rest of their evening however they wanted to.