Who: Jared & Ty Where: Around, Juniper When: Mid May, part I
On some level, Jared felt a little crazy spending all this money on going back to Point Pleasant for what might be, in the worst case scenario, a heartbreaking visit that lasted all of a day or two. Six hour flight and all that damn driving hadn't seemed like a big deal when Ty was there with him but it stretched to infinity now that he was flying back alone. Somewhere above New Hampshire he questioned why he hadn't just asked Grady to get him on a video call or something but he knew that wouldn't have worked. Not for him and probably not for Ty either. Not that he really knew what to expect.
Grady had said Ty was himself again but after everything that had happened, what did that mean? He'd been away for months, locked away in some hell hole and Jared had to brace himself for the possibility that Ty could in no way handle a relationship right now. To spare himself some heartache, Jared's current best case scenario - within reason - was to get some closure, to make peace with what had happened, to hug Ty one more time. Everything else would be a bonus but this was essentially what he was traveling two thousand miles for so that was maybe a little insane.
Ty was staying with his mother right now, that was about all he knew and he was not looking forward to facing down the old lady. He didn't really want Ty to stay with her either but that wasn't his call. He just hoped it wasn't hard on him, that she wasn't instilling some new weird Christian guilt in him, blaming his homosexual sinful nature for what had happened or something. God he hated her and he hated that he hated her because she was Ty's mother.
He booked a room at Juniper and stashed his luggage there and took a shower but there was no way he could bring himself to eat or sleep or anything before he went to see Ty so shortly before dinner time he was driving over to Cindy Solomon's home, nerves eating away at him. He warned himself that Ty might look like hell, he tried to imagine him all thin and haggard and couldn't really picture him that way. The only Ty who lived in his mind was his beautiful man with a smile that could melt icebergs. He had to park down the street for a few minutes, played a couple of good songs on his phone and wished for liquid courage. This shouldn't be so hard, it wouldn't be if it hadn't been so long since everything happened and it wouldn't be if Ty hadn't been so strange those last few days. Jared had no idea who he was really meeting today and prematurely his heart felt like it was breaking.
Ty had started remembering things about twelve hours after he’d gotten back, and it had been trickling in since then. He hadn’t known his mother’s face when she and his auntie had come to pick him up at the hospital, but after he’d slept some, he could recall her full name and birthday and where she’d grown up. The next day more about himself came back, and those awful days before he’d been swallowed up by that portal. The more he remembered, the less he wanted to remember, and the more he envied that innocent, clueless version of himself that had woken up in the woods.
He’d almost killed Jared. He’d been half-assed trying to kill Jared. How the fuck was he supposed to live with that? He could tell himself a million times that he hadn’t been in his right mind, he’d been influenced by something otherworldly, he’d been infected with something that made him dangerous ... but it didn’t take away the horror. Ty could now clearly remember cradling his near-comatose boyfriend and whispering to him that he could let go, he could die now. What if he’d succeeded? Ty wasn’t sure he could’ve lived with himself. In the other place he’d not been sure if Jared was alive, and that had kept him going. Now he knew Jared had survived him and left town. Left the entire region. Ty couldn’t blame him. Point Pleasant was cursed and it had taken enough from Jared Gaines.
More than once, he’d almost called Grady to ask him to call Jared and tell him not to come. Ty couldn’t bring himself to do it. As selfish and fucked up as it was, Ty desperately wanted to see him. To apologize to his face, at least. So he shuffled around the house like a ghost and waited, sluggishly moving from the couch in front of the TV he never truly watched to the overly-frilly guest room bed. He’d cut his hair back to a decent length and trimmed the beard down, and he was eating again, but he still barely felt human. He was depressed and afraid and so, so sorry.
Ty had no idea when Jared was actually arriving, just that he was on the way. He was currently slumped on the couch, mindlessly staring at some cheesy medical drama his mother loved to watch while she cooked away in the kitchen. Dinner was going to be red beans and rice, and Cindy was humming a hymn to herself while the smells that should’ve been comforting to Ty drifted into the living room. He wasn’t comforted. He was trying not to be anything at all.
If Jared was more of a coward he would have driven back to Juniper and left this for another day but he knew he couldn't torture himself by waiting longer and so he started the car again and slowly lulled down the street to park outside Ty's house. It was a rental car so if anyone was looking it wouldn't mean much but he still felt like everyone in the world knew he was there already. It wouldn't be the first time they were the target of gossip in town but at least before that gossip had been born from their happiness. He steeled his nerves, took a deep breath and got out of the car, heading up to the house. He'd been here before and now he just had to go into cop mode if Cindy answered the door, the part of him that could deal with abuse and dirty looks. It had been so long since he was on the job though and he wasn't even sure if he still had that ability within himself. He tried to find it, then knocked on the door and stepped back, squaring his shoulders. It felt dumb to feel the need to look good, all things considered, but he had still put in the effort. It would do his dignity a little good if this went sideways if he at least didn't look like shit.
Some part of Ty’s brain had registered the sound of a car door outside, but he didn’t really connect it to anything until there was a knock at the door. It didn’t quite startle him, but it did drag him out of his daze and get his heart beating faster. He told himself it was possibly someone else besides Jared, maybe it was Grady checking in, but deep down Ty knew who was on the other side of that door. He had the impulse to hide and not come to the door, but he’d never been that kind of pussy, and god did he ache to see the love of his life again. Ty peeled himself off of the couch and stood up even as his mother called from the kitchen for him to get the door. If she knew who was there, she didn’t give any indication. It was a short walk to the small foyer, but it seemed to take forever. Ty glanced down at his sweatpants and t-shirt and felt under prepared for this, but it was too late now.
He undid the locks and took a breath before he pulled the door open. There stood Jared, big and handsome as ever, even if he looked a little wary. But he was alive and healthy-looking and he’d really come all the way back from Texas to be right in that spot. A tsunami of emotion suddenly overwhelmed Ty -- guilt and relief and intense love and self-loathing and yearning and everything he’d been trying to keep in check for months for the sake of others’ survival filled his chest all at once. His walls were paper thin now, and he immediately started to cry, one hand coming up to cover his mouth to muffle the sound while the other braced against the door frame. God, how could he say he was sorry? How could Jared ever forgive or trust him again? Was this going to be the complete end of them? Maybe Jared had just come for closure, to say goodbye. Ty desperately wanted to just fall into Jared’s arms and sob it all away, but that wasn’t fair, was it? He couldn’t even speak yet.
Jared had tried to prepare himself for this moment but it hadn't been enough. Seeing Ty caused a riot in his gut and when Ty started crying, whatever resolve he'd built up crumbled instantly. "Oh-" he said softly. "No, no..." He didn't know everything Ty had been through but he could read his expression well enough, the anguish in his eyes even before he started crying. Maybe he was crossing boundaries he didn't understand but it came too naturally to step forward and pull Ty into his arms. Jared was used to most everyone being smaller than him but Ty somehow seemed smaller than he remembered, not skinnier but definitely a little haggard and tired looking and as ever he fit so damn well in his arms that he was reluctant to let go unless Ty pushed him away.
Pushing Jared away was the last thing Ty wanted to do. As soon as Jared reached for him, he was moving forward to meet him, stepping off the door stoop and into the embrace. Ty buried his face into the shoulder of Jared’s shirt and clung to him hard. He couldn’t stop the tears for a couple of minutes, but with Jared’s arms around him they lost some of their bitterness. Gratitude flooded in to mix with everything else that was churning around in his chest -- Ty felt like Jared had every right to hate him, but here they were clinging to each other. It was surreal after so long, and beautiful and terribly sad all at once. After the bulk of the storm had passed, Ty pulled back a little, one hand leaving Jared to wipe at his face. “You’re here,” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion.
"So are you," Jared said, his eyes burning with unshed tears. The real miracle was that Ty was back, Jared would always come back for him and what had happened between them... Well, that hadn't been Ty. Jared made a strong distinction between his boyfriend and whatever that had been possessing him after his injury because those last days - that had not been Ty, not even close. This however, this man he recognized despite the beard and the hair. It was a little weird to see him like that though and once Ty had pulled back some he couldn't help but reach up and run his fingers over his head. "I can't believe you're okay."
Was he okay? Ty didn’t really feel like it, but he was definitely better than he had been Over There. Worlds better, universes better. Everything just hurt in a different way now. Ty gave Jared a watery smile, wiping his fingers off on his shirt before he touched the side of Jared’s jaw. “I’m back at least,” he said with a shaky chuckle. Ty looked over Jared’s face, drinking in every detail again, every freckle and angle. He wanted to kiss all of it, every square inch, but he didn’t know yet if that was welcome. His fingers curled in the back of Jared’s shirt. “I didn’t ... I didn’t know if I killed you,” he confessed in an unsteady whisper. “I’m so fuckin’ sorry.”
Jared frowned softly at the thought of not knowing for so long. That had to have been its own brand of hell and he shook his head and clutched the back of Ty's neck. "That wasn't you," he said firmly. "I wouldn't be here if that had been you and it wasn't. You weren't the only one and none of you could help it." Ty hadn't killed anyone as far as Jared knew but that was unfortunately not true for everyone who'd been infected. It'd be hard for those people to come home. "It wasn't your fault." It felt important to keep telling him that because he was pretty sure that if he was in Ty's place he'd have a hard time believing it. But Jared knew and he wasn't wary of Ty, every shred of doubt had faded away when he saw his face crumble.
Ty’s face threatened to crumple again, but he wrestled it back from the brink. Those were the words he’d been dying to hear for months, even if it seemed like a wild daydream over there. Too much to hope for, even if he could get back. But now he was back, with Jared’s big grip firm on his neck like it had never left. It might take him a while to really internalize that comfort and forgive himself, but hearing it from Jared was the first step. Ty couldn’t express his gratitude verbally, so he just latched onto Jared again in a tight hug. Jared didn’t blame him. He could scarcely believe it, but damn if it didn’t loosen up something deep inside of him. The knot was going to take work to really unravel, but at least it had started. Ty dug his fingers into Jared’s back and pressed his face into his neck, irrationally wanting to just stand there on the porch and hold him forever.
"I missed you so much," Jared whispered and he was in no rush to let Ty go now that he had him in his arms again. He could smell food from the inside and it was probably only a matter of time before Ty's mother came to check on him and gave him a disapproving stare - or worse - but he was nowhere near ready to let go. "I couldn't stay here, everything was just... It hurt too damn bad, Ty. I'm sorry it took me so long to get back." If he could have gotten a flight that night from the very motel he'd been staying in when he got the news, he would have but at the same time it was probably better this way. Ty remembered now, it would have broken his heart even worse to see the man he loved staring at him blankly.
He still had his back to the door, but Ty was sure his mother had at least peeked around the corner to see who it was. If she hadn’t lingered to give Jared the stink eye, that was all he could ask for. Cindy hadn’t brought up his boyfriend at all since he’d been at her house, too focused on praising Jesus that he was back and cry-hugging him, and Ty was glad for it. There was nothing that could’ve dragged him away from Jared now, so she’d better not even try. Ty shook his head a little at Jared’s words, sniffling as he pulled back enough to look at him again. “Don’t,” he murmured. “I wasn’t ready anyway, you’re here now.” Ty completely understood why Jared had left, and honestly he was glad he hadn’t had to put him through witnessing the memory loss. His gaze raking over Jared’s face again, Ty twisted his fingers in the front of his shirt and swallowed thickly. “Can I-- I wanna kiss you, is that okay?” he whispered.
Jared gave him a crooked smile, reaching up to wipe at his eyes before he pulled him in close again and answered that question without words. Under different circumstances he might know which one of them had to control the pace of this but they were both hurting, had both been hurt, and as a result they were both hesitant. There was no way he was denying Ty anything though, he wanted more than anything for everything to go back to the way it was before the fog but with what Ty had been through he knew it would take a lot of work to get through the trauma. Kissing though, one step at a time, he could do that. His nose stung again when his lips met Ty's, like there was too much happiness inside of him, overflowing through his nose and eyes. Gratitude too, that Ty didn't need more space, that he didn't need more time, that Jared wasn't back at Juniper drowning his sorrows alone.
Ty couldn’t know what was objectively good for him or not right now, all he knew was what he wanted -- Jared. He’d spent so long alone and scared for his life and sanity, all he’d wanted was to be able to feel this again. Ty closed his eyes and kissed him back softly, as his heart felt like it was trying to swell right out of his chest. The emotion he could feel radiating off of Jared just made it all the sweeter -- he really felt forgiven. It felt almost like stepping into the hot spray of the shower that first time, but for his heart. Keeping it chaste for now, Ty caressed Jared’s lips with his own, pressed in a little harder, then pulled back with a soft hum. “Where are you staying? Did you get a room yet?” he murmured. They couldn’t stand on the porch forever, and Ty wanted to be alone with Jared.
"Yeah," Jared said and sniffed before letting out a shaky little laugh and lowering his voice. "I didn't think your mama would let me stay here." He wrinkled his nose and gestured over to the rental car behind him. "I'm uh, I'm at Juniper. Do you want to come with me for a little bit? I can drive you back here whenever you want." He wasn't sure if that was too fast, for him it didn't feel fast enough. He just wanted to be with Ty a little longer and what he most wanted was to hold him close until he fell asleep and wake up still holding him. Maybethat was too fast but judging by the way Ty was looking at him - touching him - he thought they might be on the same page.
He gave a soft huff at the bit about his mom, because Jared was absolutely right. She might let them sit stiffly in the living room and talk, or try to invite Jared to a very awkward dinner, but they couldn’t spend the kind of time together at this house that they needed. Ty already knew he didn’t want to come back here tonight, he wanted to stay with Jared and finally get some real rest. He just wasn’t sure how his mother was going to take it. Ty nodded a bit, letting Jared go with a bit of reluctance. “Let me go talk to her ... Um, wanna just wait in the car? I’ll be out as soon as I can,” he suggested. He didn’t want to risk any eruptions of drama from his mother, neither of them needed that shit right now.
"Yeah," Jared said and now he couldn't keep from smiling despite the lump still in his throat. It'd probably do him good to sit in the car for a little while, breathe and try to get his emotions in check for the most part. Ty was coming with him, this wasn't awkward like he'd feared and his mother hadn't come out to give him the evil eye yet so she was probably avoiding him. That was fine with Jared. "Take all the time you need," he told Ty, even if all that smell of food was reminding him how hungry he was. He didn't care, hunger was nothing compared to the pain he'd been in without Ty. He could suffer it for hours if he needed to.
“Okay,” Ty murmured, unable to keep from smiling back at him. God, he’d missed that beautiful face. This felt almost too good to be true, like it was all too easy, but Ty couldn’t do anything but bask in the relief he was feeling. If it went sideways or he woke up back in that hellish place again, so be it. He was so tired of overthinking, he just wanted to be. He backed up back into the house, giving Jared a look that was teasing but had a bit of anxiety around the edges. “Don’t leave or anything,” he said. He was sure that wouldn’t happen but Ty was still compelled to say it. He reached for the door to close it behind him, just to avoid any bitching from his mother about leaving doors open.
Jared almost tossed him his keys as a complete sign of trust but he still needed to get into the car so he thought better of it and just shook his head firmly. There was no way he was leaving and the thought of going back to Texas to take care of loose ends was just going to be a nuisance he wanted to get over with as fast as possible. There was no doubt in his mind now that he was coming home, Point Pleasant was awful in so many ways but it was home to him. If Ty wanted to go somewhere else he would gladly follow though since Ty was more home to him than any place could ever be. He backed up, let out a shaky little laugh at that little smile from Ty then headed to the car, squeezing the keys a little too hard in his grip. "I'm not going anywhere," he said to himself, then laughed again and wiped at his eyes cursing how annoying bodies could be with all those damn flowing fluids.
Cindy wasn’t the biggest fan of Ty spending the night away, but there must have been something in his face that told her not to argue with him too much. He’d already spent a few nights at her house now, they’d talked and hugged and cried together. Ty promised that he would be back, but probably not until the next day. Cindy insisted on making up a couple of tupperware containers full of red beans and rice and cornbread -- “You’ll need a supper,” she said -- while Ty went to pack a few things in a small bag to take with him. It was unspeakably nice to have some spare clothes on hand and his own toothbrush and body wash. Ty had gotten a little obsessed with taking showers. He put on shoes, kissed his mama goodbye, and headed out the door. Ty got a little thrill of excitement at the sight of Jared’s rental car still sitting there, waiting for him. He put his stuff in the backseat, overnight bag and plastic sack with the food inside, then climbed in next to his big man.
Jared pulled him into a slightly awkward hug on account of being in a car but he didn't care, he needed to touch him and kiss him again. "I can't believe you're here," he told him after another little kiss, resting their foreheads together. He'd done a good job of calming down while he waited but it all bubbled up again now and he was just a little bit exasperated and amused by it even if he had every right to feel emotional. "Are you hungry? Did I pull you away from dinner?" He was far too caught up in Ty to think about what he'd brought to the car, he could have brought a whole other person in there with him and Jared might not have noticed them, all he could see right now was Ty.
Ty was more than happy to be hugged and kissed again, and he returned the affection with a clingy sort of enthusiasm. After being so isolated and untouched for so long, it was hard not to want to just hold onto some part of Jared. It all gave his own nose a fresh sting, so Jared wasn’t the only one feeling incredibly sappy at the moment. They were fucking entitled. “Mama made us both a plate to go,” he said with a little smile. It wasn’t quite an extended olive branch, but it was an acknowledgement at least. “So we can go straight to Juniper and just ... hole up for a while.” The only person Ty wanted to talk to now was sitting right next to him finally, and he was ready to shut the world out and be in their own little bubble.
"Holy shit," Jared blurted out before he could really think it through and he gave Ty a slightly awkward smile at his obvious surprise. "Well, extend my thanks to her when I drive you home." Which he hoped wasn't soon but again, that was entirely up to Ty. He started the car to get them going, wanting to get comfortable and eat now that Ty was for sure coming with him. It was hard not to reach out and keep touching Ty while he was driving so he was happy when Ty did it first. They ended up holding hands for most of the drive and Jared felt like his chest was about to explode. He'd gotten one of the rooms that had its own private bath, not eager to share with others and it was nice and roomie. He hadn't exactly expected Ty to come over and spend the night but he was a big guy and he wanted a big bed so it didn't feel too assumptious to get a king bed. He led the way there, carrying some of Ty's things for him because it felt only right. "I feel like we have so much to talk about and I don't know where to start," he mumbled as he unlocked the door.
Ty didn’t even think about it until they were pulling up to the place, but walking back into Juniper was surreal. It had never seemed like a very fancy hotel to him before, but seeing it now, it looked like a palace. Everything so clean and perfect. Normal. He got a small wave of anxiety as they were walking up the stairs toward the room, half-expecting the whole second floor to be covered in black fungus spewing spores into the air. And then Jared would disappear and the fungus would spread and he would be right back in that hell again. Juniper stayed normal, thankfully, and the room that Jared led him to wasn’t the one he’d claimed for himself Over There. Ty wasn’t sure he could’ve handled that. Determined to get over this irrational discomfort, he took a deep breath and let it out slow as they walked into the room. It was lovely, a completely different place than where he’d just been. He could do this. “Boy do I know that feeling,” he murmured back and gave a little huff. Ty set his bag down and toed out of his shoes. “You didn’t happen to bring a bottle of Jack or something, did you?”
Jared shot him a sheepish little smile at that question and as he shrugged off his jacket he pointed toward his luggage. "Of course I did," he replied then, having purchased a bottle on his way to Point Pleasant. He'd figured he deserved a good bottle to drown his sorrows if everything went the worst way possible but he somehow hadn't even dared imagine he might share it with Ty. "I don't have proper glasses up here so we'll have to slum it and make do with plastic." It was still in the bag he'd gotten it in along with some chocolate because hell, if he was going to mope all night he might as well go all out and enjoy the misery to some extent, though he supposed that was an oxymoron. He found himself wishing he was back in Seaview where he could start up a fire in the back yard like he'd done when they were first getting together and thinking about it stirred up some heavy duty nostalgia within him. "Help yourself to anything," he said as he moved to grab the bottle from the bag.
Ty was not too good for plastic cups, especially when he felt like he really needed a drink. He hadn’t had any alcohol yet at all, his mother didn’t keep it in the house and he had no means to get it on his own. Cindy would fret about him even more than she already was if he was drinking a lot anyway. “At least I’m a cheap date now, bet my tolerance is through the floor,” he said lightly as he sat on the bottom edge of the bed. The softness and cleanness of beds kind of kept taking him by surprise, a little more than everything else. He watched Jared move around and pour them drinks, quietly marveling that any of this was actually happening. Jared’s hands looked unspeakably beautiful as he handled the cups, and Ty just wanted to feel them on his face again.
Jared took a seat next to him on the bed and offered him one of the cups, giving him a little salute before he sipped his own drink. He sat close enough that their arms touched, unable to keep from touching Ty somehow just to feel him there, alive and real and himself again. "Oh hey, I bought that chocolate you love, I saw it in the airport and just grabbed it if you want some." He felt a little silly about it now, he had no idea how much had changed, what Ty had been through and how much it had changed him but if he didn't want it, Jared would eat it so there was no real harm done there. "I've just thought about you non-stop," he admitted. "Everything reminds me of you."
The liquor burned harshly on the way down, but Ty welcomed it at the same time. It focused him on himself more than his surroundings, and the anxiety was starting to fade away again. Having Jared right next to him certainly didn’t hurt. Nothing would have made him feel safe over there, but being with his man again was comforting in this reality. He was touched that Jared had gotten him chocolate, and Ty smiled softly as warmth bloomed in his chest all over again. Jared’s words gave him a pang but it was more sweet than bitter at the moment. Ty leaned in a little more firmly against Jared’s shoulder. “I was thinking about you too,” he murmured. “The entire time. Everything ... everything that was wrong with me just ... switched off, as soon as we were through the portal.” He shook his head a little and took another sip of whiskey. “After that it was all ... survival and guilt.”
Jared frowned with both sympathy and concern. Hearing that just made it worse, knowing Ty had been himself over there, suffering the whole time. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked and he couldn't deny he was curious about it all, he wanted to know what Ty had been through, to understand what had happened. What little he knew he'd gotten from Rylee and she didn't know all that much either. It was all obscure and he couldn't even begin to imagine the place Ty had been in. He supposed it was something like what they'd seen in the fog but that was merely a guessing game. "I'm here and I'll listen if you do, but you don't have to," he added, switching hands for his glass so he could wrap his arm around Ty's back, gently rubbing at his side.
Ty didn’t want to make anyone feel bad about what he’d been through, but he wasn’t going to lie about it either. At least not to Jared. He could pad some things for his mom, but that was different, he didn’t expect much emotional support from her. If Jared was going to still be in his life, he needed to know what Ty had dealt with. Ty just wasn’t sure he needed to know all of it tonight. “It’s another one of those ‘don’t know where to start’ deals,” he said with a soft huff that didn’t have much real humor in it. Ty lifted his cup again. He was going to try to avoid getting totally trashed and sloppy, not wanting to just cry all over Jared all night, but he was eager for some of that numbness that came with being buzzed. “And I don’t wanna like, drag you down right now, we should be celebrating, right?” Ty tapped their plastic cups together.
Jared wasn't sure celebrating was the right word for whatever this was. Yes, he was happier than he'd been in months but it came with some hesitation and sadness and he was still worried about Ty. He didn't really know how to tell Ty that so he just huffed softly and drank more. "You won't drag me down," he promised. "I know it was bad, I didn't think I'd ever see you again, I didn't think you'd survive it. I've been mourning you since January and now you're back. Nothing can take that from me, no matter how horrible it was, I want to know - but only if you want me to know." He pulled Ty closer for a moment, pressing his forehead against the side of his head. "I think we're not so much celebrating as we're finding our footing again."
There was that level-headed and steady Jared that Ty had missed so fucking much. So many times over there, he had tried his best to think about what Jared would do, how Jared would handle things. He would never wish any of that suffering on his man, but God, Ty thought it would’ve been so much easier to have him there. Ty leaned into the forehead touch, closing his eyes as he swallowed down more bubbling emotion. When was he going to even out? Fuck. “It was hell,” he murmured softly, keeping his eyes closed for the moment. “There was fog everywhere. No sunlight. No real day or night at all, just this ... constant overcast gray. It was like this nightmare version of Point Pleasant, everything was rusted and rotted and crumbling, and covered in this ... black fungus shit. There were creatures in the fog, of all kinda sizes ... going outside was dangerous. There was no clean water, no food ... I have no idea how we lived long, but it was just like our bodies didn’t need it. I can’t remember being hungry once. All there was to do was sleep and make sure everybody stayed as safe as possible and that the barricades held up.”
Jared couldn't imagine it and maybe that was a good thing, what he could picture in his mind was awful enough and to live like that for months - no, he couldn't even begin to imagine it. The fog had been bad enough here in their town, those monsters outside and the fear he'd felt, hiding away with Carson at the gym. "I wish I'd been there with you," he said and meant it, no matter how horrible they would have been together and the last few months had been their own kind of hell for Jared. "I would have hated it here, I know, but we would have gotten through it together." Maybe it was a stupid thing to wish for and Ty was probably glad he hadn't been there but Jared couldn't help it, losing Ty had done a number on him and he would have gladly traded that grief for fear and vigilance. "Were there a lot of survivors? Did... Did Carson survive?"
Ty let out a huff of air at Jared’s wish and his throat ached a little. That was some ride-or-die shit right there. He was sure he would’ve felt guilty as hell for Jared being there, stuck in that hell with him, but it also would’ve made everything better for him. He would’ve known Jared was alive, they could have corralled the survivors better as a team, they could lean on each other and talk and comfort and all those other things that having a partner gave them. He both wanted it and didn’t, but it was too late now for either option. Ty was home now, and he had Jared right there in the flesh. He tried not to think backwards, and focused on Jared’s questions instead. “There were about ... ten or twelve of us,” he said, straightening up to take another drink from his cup. “Not everybody stayed together. But ... yeah. Carson was alive, last I remember.” Ty paused, considering how fucking crazy it all sounded, then added, “He uh ... he was a werewolf, though. The whole time.”
He was a what? Jared nearly asked, his eyebrows trying to meld with his hairline. Everything had been crazy but somehow that was some new level of nuts he hadn't not prepared for at all. For a second he thought Ty was joking just to lighten the mood with some silliness but that didn't make any sense. Werewolves weren't really anything to joke about and the last time he'd even talked about werewolves was with Bailey... That train of thought was a bad one and he swallowed dryly and could practically feel the gears in his brain turning, squeaking, coming to a halt. "A werewolf?" he finally asked quietly, needing clarification.
He understood the incredulity in Jared’s face. He’d heard plenty of rumors around Point Pleasant about werewolves, of course, along with every other creepy crawly thing he hadn’t given much credence to. But Ty had seen this with his own eyes -- a huge three-legged creature that wasn’t all wolf but definitely not a man. He stuck close by the older guy ... Rex? Vex? Something like that. Ty hadn’t known him well before their banishment, and he still didn’t. The man was a roamer, and Ty had been surprised to see him alive every time. It probably had something to do with the werewolf. “I didn’t know it was Carson until ... I can’t remember who told me. But I saw the change, it happened as everything was going nuts at the portal. And he just ... hung around like that. Big and three-legged, like a fucking fairy tale.” Ty gave a soft huff and shook his head, not making any of the connections that Jared was making.
Jared felt like all the air had been knocked out of him. Werewolves were real and he didn't think there'd be a whole lot of three-legged ones running around Point Pleasant. "Jesus," he whispered and he was suddenly overly aware of his limbs as they suddenly felt heavier. "And he didn't - it didn't hurt you. I thought werewolves were supposed to be wild, crazy..." Three-legged werewolf. He was having flashes of Bailey talking about those creatures so casually, the look on Ty's face as he prevented him from seeing Sadie's body, the damn pictures of the footprints out back that he'd taken to the tracking expert back in Texas. Three-legged monster wolf. If that was Carson then Carson had killed Sadie and he didn't want to think that through but it didn't make sense that he'd do that on purpose.
The scene from Sadie’s death finally bubbled back up in Ty’s memory. The mutilated cow, and then the mutilated teacher. He remembered what the hunter had told them, and a possibility clicked into place. His brow furrowed as he thought about it, but Jared’s words prompted something else to come back to him too. “The guy he hung out with ... seemed half crazy already, but they also seemed to like, know each other? The first time he came around with the werewolf, I tried to kick them out again, ‘cause it sure as fuck looked dangerous to me. But the dude started ranting about how things were different there and how the wolf wasn’t dangerous now and he had a human mind and wasn’t ... how’d he put it ... a moon-mad death machine. I let them stay and it was well behaved. Carson was, I guess.” Ty paused, studying Jared's face. He looked like he’d gotten paler under his tan. “You don’t think maybe ...”
"How many three-legged werewolves do you think are running around Point Pleasant?" Jared said quietly and he didn't want to talk about this here and now, wished he could have smothered his reactions and put the pieces together himself without Ty being involved. It did help though, hearing that Carson had likely not been in his right mind, a moon-mad death machine sounded more like what he would imagine a werewolf to be. "I wonder if he knows," he sighed, letting go of Ty for a moment so that he could rub at his eyes. Was the present tense even applicable? Was Carson still alive? God he didn't know how to feel, his emotions already a roller coaster ride without this information getting dropped on his lap. "I'm glad he wasn't dangerous," he said with a lack of anything else to say. "Sounds like you all had enough to deal with over there."
It had always been easy to put his own feelings aside to take care of Jared, and Ty felt that impulse again at that moment. Sadie’s loss had been huge and horrible, and to think that someone Jared was actually friends with was behind it -- aware of what he was doing or not -- was a hard pill to swallow. Ty could definitely sympathize with being out of control of one’s faculties, God knew he hadn’t truly wanted to be draining all the life out of Jared. But the level of intention didn’t change the hurt. He slipped his arm around Jared’s back and rubbed his hand up his spine to gently squeeze the back of his neck. “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I didn’t mean to bring it all back up. You’ve been through so fuckin’ much.” Ty leaned in to press a kiss against his temple and breathe him in for a moment.
Coming from the man who'd been stuck for months in a literal hellscape those words almost made Jared laugh. He knew not to compare people's pain but it was hard to feel sorry for himself when Ty was right there, having been through a horrible ordeal most people would never experience outside of brief nightmares. It certainly helped put it all into perspective and he could think about what this all meant later. Tonight he just wanted to be with Ty and he'd meant to be a comfort to him and not a reminder of more tragedies. "Baby," he sighed and let out an unsteady little chuckle as he tilted his head in against Ty's in encouragement. "Our lives are insane." But Ty was there, touching him, gentle and himself again, Jared wanted to focus on that. "I never want to be apart from you again."
Ty had suffered a lot, that was true. But he hadn’t suffered the same deep kinds of personal losses that Jared had. To lose Sadie in such a manner, and then to lose Ty in another extra horrible way, while Ty had almost killed him ... he couldn’t imagine the conflicted grief. No wonder Jared had put Point Pleasant in his rearview mirror when he’d recovered. It wasn’t a contest though -- they had both been in a lot of pain and confusion for too long. But now Ty was back and they could start to rebuild themselves again. Heal together. Jared’s words put a warmth in Ty’s chest that he almost didn’t recognize anymore. It was a nice feeling of security. Jared wanted to stay together. “Me either,” he murmured near Jared’s ear, and nuzzled a bit against his sideburn. “I love you. I’m so happy you came back to see me. I was scared you wouldn’t, kinda.”
It was such a honest thing to say and Jared shifted a bit to wrap his arm around him again, this time around his shoulders since Ty had his arm on his back. "I was afraid you wouldn't want me here, or that something had changed so deeply that it was a folly coming here. I had to know, I had to come. I'm glad I did." He rubbed his nose against Ty's, then reached up to kiss his forehead. "Do you want to stay here tonight?" he asked, fully prepared to accept no for an answer even if he had a feeling Ty wanted the same thing. "Just sleep, I want to be near you. I'm not ready to let you go yet." He didn't think anyone could blame him for that powerful urge to hold Ty close and not let him out of his sight again. He hadn't dared to hope he'd see him again but here they were and he couldn't imagine sleeping alone.
He leaned into Jared’s warmth, letting his hand slide down until it was resting right above his belt. Even though it sounded like he’d felt compelled to come, Ty was still grateful that he did. It would have broken his heart even further to have his last memory with Jared be such a tainted and evil one. This was much better. If the world ended tonight, with the two of them curled up against one another just letting the love seep back into their beings, Ty wouldn’t be too upset about it. He didn’t expect it to end though, and while there was still a lot of healing to do, he was beginning to see that a future was possible again. Ty smiled faintly at the question. “That’s why I brought my toothbrush,” he said softly in answer. He wanted to stay there tonight, the next night, every single night he possibly could. The separation anxiety was already real on his end too. “I don’t wanna leave your side until I have to,” he added, moving to brush his lips against Jared’s.
Jared let out a soft huff of relief and it was just another weird feeling to be so careful around Ty, like the wrong words or wrong actions might make him break. Jared didn't think it was unreasonable though with what Ty had been through. They both had their share of trauma after the last winter but they'd always had some reprieve. Ty's fear and sadness had been a constant for months, Jared didn't expect him to just bounce back from that. He closed his eyes when Ty kissed him, gave his shoulder a little squeeze and stayed there, softly kissing him back without any demand or expectation. It felt heavenly, if a little strange with Ty's beard, he'd always loved Ty's lips, looking at them, tasting them and just this - feeling them against his own, soft and pliant. It gave him something good to focus on and within seconds he had managed to push away the darker thoughts. They would return but for now he was happily focused on the present.
Ty knew recovery wasn’t going to be a linear, easy road. He would probably swing back and forth, in and out of depression. The nightmares were already present -- something he would be sure to warn Jared about. He’d been thoroughly traumatized, for a long period of time, and that was going to have repercussions. Right now though, the relief of being home and being in Jared’s presence was blotting out everything else. Ty was content to ride those good feelings for as long as he could. He’d gone so long without any sort of comfort or softness or love, he just wanted to drown in it. Ty kissed the source of all that comfort and love for what felt like a while, re-learning the lips he’d missed so much. There was nothing sexual in it, not yet, it just made his heart ache in the sweetest way, and made him want to lie down and keep kissing Jared until they both fell asleep. Instead he pulled back eventually to breathe a little easier and gave him a crooked smile as he reached up to rub at the beard on his chin. It was longer than he’d ever had it before he’d disappeared, and it kind of tickled as it meshed with Jared’s. “Feels weird,” he murmured. “Do you like it?”
Jared didn't love it but he wasn't about to say that. He didn't hate it either, it was just new. It looked good, he'd get used to how it felt but he was so used to Ty without a beard and hair and whether it was just the familiarity of it or not he liked him better like that. "You're beautiful no matter what," he said and reached up to gently scratch at Ty's beard. "Maybe I'll shave mine off and we can switch roles." He'd shaved his off a few times before of course but the last time he'd done that was for Sadie's funeral so it wasn't exactly usual for him. "Do you like it?" he asked and that was the more important question. "My scruffy man," he added with a cheeky smile, resting his hand on Ty's cheek.
Ty had trimmed the grossness and most of the length off of the beard he’d come home with, but he’d left more than the shadow of stubble he had sometimes sported Before everything. He’d cleaned up the fade on his hair but left a bit of length on top. He’d looked very different to himself in the mirror, but something about that had been okay. He wasn’t quite the man he’d been before he’d gone away. Being Over There had changed him, and he couldn’t deny that. The idea of shaving everything off again to look just like he had before had felt disingenuous somehow. He didn’t think Jared liked it much yet, but that was okay too. Maybe he would get back to being smooth eventually. “I dunno yet,” he admitted with a soft huff, leaning his cheek into the touch a bit. “It just didn’t feel right to get rid of it all right away, like ... I dunno, like it would be a lie.” He hoped that made some sense. “Long as you don’t hate it.”
Jared thought he could understand that and he definitely didn't hate it so he smiled and shook his head. "It'll take getting used to but no, I don't hate it." He was pretty sure Ty would have to do something dramatically weird to his looks for Jared to flat out hate it, he'd love the man underneath it all too much to really care. Especially now when he was just so happy to have him back. It overshadowed everything else, even helped dim his fear and grief for Carson. "I just want to look at you forever," he said with a little laugh and he was dying to tell Ty everything that was running through his mind right now but it'd be too much to start planning to move back to Maine, to talk about getting his job back, to dream about getting a house together. It was too much too soon and he swallowed it down to let it brew somewhere in the back of his head for now.
It felt foreign and strange in his throat, but Ty gave a soft laugh too, envisioning a cartoonish version of Jared staring at him with dreamy sighs and heart eyes every mundane moment of the day. “I’m here,” he murmured, leaning back a little bit to gesture to himself like he was presenting a prize. He grinned a bit. “Not while you’re driving through. I’ll get a burka or something to wear for car trips.” Ty still had his drink in his hand, and he tossed it back to finish it off, then pulled away to stand up. “We need a refill,” he said, reaching to pluck Jared’s cup out of his hand as well. “Grady told me you went back to Texas ... how’s your mom?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder. “What did you tell her?” The truth was so hard to believe, he wondered if Mama Gaines thought he was dead or vanished or if they’d just broken up or what.
"Not a whole lot," Jared admitted and it felt mean in hindsight but had made perfect sense at the time. He'd just looked at her with tears in his eyes, shaking his head as he told her 'it ain't good, mama' and she'd let him get away with the lack of details. He hadn't been able to talk about it, wouldn't have known where to even begin so all she knew was that he was in pain and she'd been incredible about it. "She's good though, curious by now I guess so I'll call her in the morning. Not entirely sure what I'll tell her then but I'll wing it I guess." He accepted his glass when Ty returned and swirled the whiskey a little. It deserved a nicer glass, it was a decent bottle, but oh well. "I missed this place too," he told him. "It's weird, even after everything that's happened I felt homesick for this town."
“We’ll come up with something, I’m sure,” Ty said, the togetherness in that statement feeling natural to him. Of course they would come up with a story together -- they were back together. Things didn’t quite feel normal, but they definitely felt better. Ty leaned his arm against Jared’s when he sat down again, giving a faint chuckle. “Yeah, it’ll do that to you,” he murmured. “So I hear, anyway. Most people come back.” Ty had never tried to leave, not since he’d moved there permanently to be near his parents, but he’d heard plenty of that kind of talk in the years he’d lived in Point Pleasant. It had a hold on people, and now that he’d experienced what he’d experienced, Ty’s mind was wide open to what kind of hold that might be. He hadn’t really started processing the implications of what had happened, but he knew it was coming. He turned to kiss Jared’s shoulder. “I would go anywhere with you, though,” he murmured. “You’re home to me.”
Jared felt his emotions well up again at the words and he let out a shaky little laugh. "Oh man, you stole my line," he teased and drank some of his whiskey to swallow down that lump threatening to rise again. "I'll go anywhere you want," he told him, shifting in his seat again to face Ty a little better, resting his hand behind him. "That includes here. I just want to be with you. I'm trying so hard not to rush into everything I'm thinking but... We could buy a house - or an apartment if you want to move to some stupidly expensive city. I'm so ready to come back." He drew a deep breath as if to slow himself down and smiled again. "At your pace, of course, I won't rush you."
Ty didn’t feel rushed at all, he was more affectionately amused at the eagerness in Jared’s words. Even if the idea was incredibly appealing right now, Ty didn’t really want to leave Point Pleasant either. His mother was there, and in spite of their differences, Ty didn’t want to remove himself from her life all over again. Maybe that invisible thing that held everyone else here was working on him too. Ty turned to mirror Jared’s position, letting his free hand come to rest on his thigh. “You’re not rushing me,” he murmured, his eyes on Jared’s face. “I just want you to be sure. I feel like ... I dunno, like it’s going to take some time to fully heal, no matter how we feel right now.” He didn’t want to be a downer but he did want to be somewhat realistic. It felt easy now, but it likely wouldn’t stay that way.
"We've been through so much together," Jared said and while he didn't want to sound like a naive teenager, insisting he was sure and he was ready and everything would be sparkly and wonderful, well, it was sort of on the tip of his tongue. "The one defining thing about last year is that we got through all of that shit together. When I felt like everything was falling apart all I had to do was reach out for you and I felt grounded again. I want to be there for you through this as well, I know it's crazy but I just... I want to move in with you and make sure you have everything you need all the time. Just thinking about leaving here is... It just feels wrong."
He was making Ty’s throat feel too full again, and his smile was slightly wobbly as it crossed his face. “I want that too,” Ty said, his voice hoarse with emotion. Ty cleared his throat and tipped his glass up to drain it, then leaned over to put the empty plastic cup on the floor, out of the way. He moved in closer to Jared, all but climbing into his lap, arms wrapping around him again. There was no real going back, and he knew that. But all Ty wanted was for them to get back to the life they were building together, to love and support each other like Jared was saying. He’d been so afraid that on the unlikely chance he ever got back home, Jared wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him, and now here they were discussing the idea of buying a house together. “I’m sure if you’re sure,” he added, nuzzling his face into the crook of Jared’s neck.
"I'm gonna stay here for a few days so we have enough time to make plans and think this through." That hadn't been the plan at all since there hadn't really been a plan to begin with but he'd want to run this by Grady and see if he really could get his job back. Barring that he supposed he could just not be a cop for a while, he'd find something else so he wasn't worried. He didn't feel like he needed to think things through though, his heart and brain were on the same page on this one, he wanted to stay and it felt like the right thing to do. It was going to be a pain in the ass to get all his things from storage but that was such a later time problem it didn't even faze him. "I think plans like this are way better discussed over breakfast," he added and rubbed at Ty's back. It was so tempting to pull him up on his lap like he always did back before Everything but he resisted for now, giving Ty some space to make his own decision whether he wanted it or not.
Ty was starting to feel a little drunk now, and it was kind of nice. It took the edge off of everything, even though he was still full of so many feelings. Being emotionally overwhelmed had become something of a permanent state for him Over There, but these emotions were so much better. There was just an unspeakable amount of relief, the still-scared part of him had to question whether he was dreaming all of this. He’d been back for days, that felt real enough, but this was almost too good to be true. “We’ll figure it all out,” Ty murmured in agreement. Jared’s big hand on his back was soothing, and Ty realized just how much he’d missed being touched. He wanted less cloth between them all of the sudden, more skin to skin contact. Ty lifted his head and kissed Jared softly. “I love you,” he whispered, his fingers curling in the back of Jared’s shirt. “This is everything I dreamed about.”
"Me too," Jared murmured against his lips. This moment felt like slipping into a hot bath after a hard day and he felt almost drowsy with the relief it brought. "I had so many dreams about you." Not all of them had been good, but surprisingly many and those had been equally hard to wake up from. Some of them had been complete nonsense but they'd still left an impact because they had Ty in them, alive and whole and beautiful. "I love you so much," he whispered and the alcohol was getting to his head too because maybe that drowsiness wasn't just because he was comfortable. He'd had a long day and winding down after feeling as stressed as he had was making him incredibly sleepy. "How about... we try out the food your mom sent you with," he said with a little smile. "Before I fall asleep kissing you."
He huffed a softly amused sound, pulling back just slightly to grin at Jared. “I know I’m out of practice, but kisses that boring?” Ty murmured. It was just a tease, because he completely understood. Now that all of that nervous tension was relieved, he was feeling pretty tired too. Even just a nap in Jared’s arms sounded amazing. “But yeah, food.” Ty got up and went to where the bag was with the containers of red beans and rice. His mother had even wrapped up some utensils for them in a paper towel, correctly assuming that they didn’t have any proper silverware here. Soon enough they were digging in, and as often happened when he ate now, Ty felt a deep satisfaction that went beyond just filling his stomach. One benefit to living with his mom for the past few days had definitely been the food.
It was bliss, just sitting together and eating and Jared was a little amazed that Ty's mother had sent him with food for both of them and silverware for two. Maybe losing Ty for so long had softened her up a little, he was definitely going to be on his best behavior when he met her again because of course he wanted nothing more than to be accepted by Ty's family for Ty's sake. Once they'd eaten and had a little more to drink he put the containers away and rejoined Ty on the bed. "You look a little sleepy too," he pointed out though he wasn't sure if he was just projecting. "It's been a really long trip to get up here so I think I'm excused but, do you mind if I nap for a bit? You can watch TV or do anything you want if you're not tired. Just stay with me."
The food was good and the company was better, and Jared was right that Ty was tired too. “Like I would go anywhere,” he said, giving Jared a playfully incredulous look. There was nowhere in the universe he would rather be than snuggled up to Jared. “I’ll sleep with you. Been napping a lot, really, my sleep schedule is all crazy.” It didn’t even qualify as a schedule really -- Ty had just been sleeping whenever he felt like it. It wasn’t always good sleep, he woke up often and had bad dreams, but it felt incredible to let his guard down and actually sleep. That would’ve been more difficult in Juniper if Jared wasn’t right there beside him, he was pretty sure, but he wasn’t going to be alone. Ty stood up to strip down to his boxer briefs, tossing his clothes over the arm of the chair, then pulled the duvet and sheet back to climb into bed.
It was hard not to blatantly stare at him undress and Jared slowly removed his own clothes, a flutter in his stomach that wasn't just gratitude at this point. Ty was so damn beautiful, watching him move was such a treat, especially when he was naked - or close to it - and Jared could see every detail as his muscles shifted and rolled under his dark skin. "Excuse my legs," he muttered as he unbuttoned his jeans. "I was a fly feast on my last hike and it's still healing." It wasn't too bad anymore but he still felt the need to warn him, as if Ty would care. He turned on the lamp and made sure the blinds were properly closed before turning off the overhead light, then crawled into bed after Ty. "Damn, it's been too damn long," he whispered as he sidled closer until he felt bare skin against his own and draped his arm over Ty's side.