Who: Shayna Mae and Knox Where: The O’Reilly home When: Early afternoon, January 1/25 Status: complete
Shayna Mae sat outside long after Caius D’Onofrio left her house. She wasn’t cold… not in the physical sense anyway. But she waited for Knox to return. She knew he hadn’t been able to feel Max… had gone looking for where Shayna Mae’s brother might be. He was still gone, but Shayna Mae now knew what had happened. And unless they could find track down some kind of strong, unknown magic, Shayna Mae didn’t think Max would be coming back. She was mournful, of course. Max was her brother, and she loved him. She was guilt-ridden as well and somehow that was worse. It slithered under her skin, seeped into her guts until she felt sick.
But she needed Knox to return because she needed his reassurance and strength. If anyone knew for certain that he was truly gone, it would be Knox. If Max was still somewhere on this plane, Knox would sense him. That would give Shayna Mae some hope. She hadn’t told Caius as much, not wanting to get his hopes up. He had seemed stoic and distracted anyway and Shayna Mae didn’t want him hanging around the house to wait for Knox with her. If her familiar had good news, well, then she would reach out again.
Knox had been sleeping next to Shayna Mae when it started to happen, but it had woken him up -- the sudden sharp sense that Max was in danger, and then nothing. The connection cut like a taut wire. It had been like a stab in the chest, and he’d gotten up immediately. He’d felt members of his family die before, of course, but none of them had felt like that. Even the violent deaths, it had never been such a quick severance. Something else had happened, and Knox had to find out what, but he hadn’t dared leave Shayna Mae until she had woken up. That had brought some relief, because she had been more awake than he’d seen her in days, and it freed him up to start the search. Knox had told Shayna Mae that he was going to look for Max, but not exactly why. Just in case he was wrong, he didn’t want to bring her any unnecessary grief.
He’d taken to the skies and gone everywhere he could think to look, straining all of his senses to hunt for Max. It didn’t take long for the knowledge that he wasn’t going to find anything to settle in, but Knox pushed on. He searched as hard as he could search, circling around the town at least a dozen times, for hours. Eventually Knox got the sense that Shayna Mae needed him, so he turned and flew back to the house. Knox dipped down below the treeline on soft wings, his form shifting back into a human one as he touched down. His expression was grim as he walked toward the porch where Shayna Mae was sitting. Knox moved to sit down next to her with a slow sigh, and reached to take her hand.
Her fingers immediately slipped between Knox's and she held onto him for a moment without saying a word. Her eyes scanned the treeline, as if Max would just magically appear if she wished it hard enough. But there was nothing, and no one. Knox's presence helped, as Shayna Mae knew it would. She had spent almost all week in bed, fading. That had been bad enough, but feeling disconnected to her familiar had been worse. Now it was like their magic was beginning to spiral together again, entwining in a way that gave her the strength to speak.
"Caius D'Onofrio just left," she explained, finally looking over at Knox. "I told you his mother had been injured in the fog, like Max. I guess there were a few in town trying to fix things, and it went wrong. Max... he's somewhere else. Wherever the fog had come from." Shayna Mae paused, searching his face. "Did you feel him? Anywhere?"
It was a relief to him too, to be able to really feel Shayna Mae again. He’d been with her, of course, and aware of her state of being like he was with the others, but her essence -- life force, magic, whatever you wanted to call it -- had been so dim. Now it was back, growing strength again, and he couldn’t feel guilty about being happy with that. She was his queen, after all. It was just a muted happiness. Knox’s brows flexed when she started with D’Onofrio’s name, and he thought for a moment that he should’ve stayed by her side, but he’d had to look for Max too. Not for the first time, he wished he could split himself in two to cover more ground for his family. Knox shook his head and gently squeezed Shayna Mae’s fingers. “No,” he murmured. “Nowhere. Is his mother gone as well?”
Any bit of hope Shayna Mae had been clinging to faded from her eyes and she tightened her grip on Knox's hand. "She is. Quite a few of them are gone now. I guess I was hoping that if you felt him still, there would be a chance we could find a way to get him home." Sighing, Shayna Mae turned her gaze back out to the woods. "I know what he was doing now. You told me, but I wasn't in the right mind to hear it. But he was killing us. I know he didn't mean to. I just wish I could've helped him. There was nothing we could've done. It was too strong." She knew her thoughts might have sounded disjointed, but she had to work it out so the guilt didn't drown her. "I just don't want him to hurt," she murmured, her throat feeling dry and full now.
Knox hated to see her expression fall like that. Anytime Shayna Mae hurt, he hurt too, and he wanted nothing more than to fix all of this for her. For Max too, obviously, but even more for her. They were bonded completely now, and she was the center of everything. He held tighter to her small hand and listened to her words with a solemn nod. Knox hated that any of this had happened, but he stood by his decision to get Max to leave the house. Knox just wished he’d done it sooner, before Max had drained the family as much as he had. He shifted in a bit closer and gently bumped his forehead against her temple before he planted a kiss there. “I know,” he whispered back. “And I’m so sorry this has happened. It was beyond all of us.”
Shayna Mae nodded before swallowing so she could speak evenly again. "I know it's... for the best. I don't know what would have happened if we couldn't cure him." Maybe Max would have come back and killed them. Maybe Knox would have been forced to kill Max. Or maybe Max would have hurt others in town. Her gut told her it could have ended so much worse. But she still couldn't get over the possibility that Max could be suffering. If Caius D'Onofrio couldn't find a way to reach his mother, Shayna Mae knew it might prove fruitless for her to try. "I heard dad in the kitchen getting coffee," she murmured, smiling faintly at Knox. "He and Aidan will be okay. I'll have to tell them about Max, but... will you sit out here with me for a bit?" It wasn't that Shayna Mae wanted to avoid the bad news, but she just needed a bit more time with her familiar. She wanted to feel like herself again before she had to talk to her dad and brother.
Knox couldn’t help but think of the worst-case scenarios too. Aya had asked him if he could kill Max if it came down to it ... Knox was selfishly glad that he hadn’t had to make that decision. He didn’t want Max to suffer, and he would’ve fixed it all in a heartbeat if he could have, of course. Not shouldering that last-resort responsibility was just a relief. Knox let go of Shayna Mae’s hand so he could slip that arm around her back and cuddle her in closer. “I will stay out here with you until the end of time,” he murmured, nuzzling their heads together a bit. “I’m all yours.” Knox gently kissed her hair in a couple of places. He often felt inadequate when it came to navigating the more complicated human emotions, and grief often fell into that category. There was no question that Knox felt loss, but he felt it differently than they did. He’d seen so much of it, and he would see so much more. He would outlive all of them by design. But he would do his best to comfort Shayna Mae and the others through it. It was all he could do now.
His comfort brought a soft smile to her lips and Shayna Mae closed her eyes, leaning into his embrace. There was no telling how her dad or Aidan would take the news, but she felt more equipped to dealing with them with Knox by her side. And if Max returned, they would know because Knox would know. All she could really do was continue to hope that Point Pleasant would give him back to them. "This town is always taking sacrifices," Shayna Mae murmured. "And for what reason? What do we get for it?"
Knox didn’t have a good answer for that question, and it made him a little sad. He’d lived in this area for centuries, and it had always been a center for darkness. There was unnatural power in Point Pleasant that drew people in, mostly to feed on them, as Shayna Mae had pointed out. But it also seemed to draw in other powers, the kinds that weren’t so threatening to human existence, and he’d always been proud to be part of the lighter side of things. These kinds of losses hurt the most though. The kinds that wouldn’t have happened if they had settled somewhere else in the country. “I wish I knew,” he murmured back with a soft sigh. “It always just seems to be more fear and uncertainty.”
Shayna Mae nodded. She fell into thoughtful silence as she held Knox's hand. When she spoke again, it was with an air of clarity. "I don't feel so much of it now, do you? Uncertainty and fear. I mean, I guess there's always going to be uncertainty in everything, but... something feels different, doesn't it? The air feels lighter to me, somehow." There was always something in the air that kept them on guard, but right now, it just felt like winter. Crisp, chilly air with a tinge of earth. Shayna Mae could always sense darkness, but right now... she just felt sadness, and she knew that was due to mourning Max. "Maybe I'm just trying to find a silver lining in all of this," she admitted. "But I don't think that's all it is."
His mind and heart had been preoccupied with worry about Max, but now that Shayna Mae mentioned things feeling different, Knox tried to quiet everything inside of him. He listened with more than his ears and opened himself up to the vibrations in the world. “You’re right,” he murmured to her after a moment, his brown eyes turning to her face again. “It is more peaceful.” Knox could feel that the strings of reality that loosely held everything together weren’t vibrating in quite the same way as they usually were. Everything was quieter than it was almost all the time. It was good, but at the same time ... not. Knox knew what it had cost. He lifted Shayna Mae’s hand to gently press the back of it to his cheek. “Maybe whatever’s always taking sacrifices is satisfied for a while,” he said softly. It had been a big sacrifice this time -- there had been so many more than just Max. One of whom had even come to them for help, was she gone too?
Shayna Mae also thought of Rost and his woman. She knew she needed to reach out and see if she was gone as well, but that could wait. There was nothing they could do now. The sadness had seeped into her and Shayna Mae knew it would be there to stay. She had failed her brother and that was something she was going to have to live with. Maybe all of this had been out of her control, but... if they'd only had more time. Surely there was something they could have found, something they could have tried. Wondering would drive her crazy. "Maybe it is," Shayna Mae said finally. "I hate to think of it as a silver lining to this, because I wouldn't sacrifice my brother for anything. But..." Trailing off, Shayna Mae knew Knox would understand. "I have to tell Aidan and dad. I don't want to... but they need to know."
In spite of her calm words, Knox knew that Shayna Mae was feeling this loss deeply, and would continue to do so. Probably for the rest of her life. They’d all always wanted to look after Max, since he was the most disadvantaged among them, and now he was gone. As head of the family now, Knox knew Shayna Mae would take that on her shoulders. All he could do was try and help her carry it. And to keep his senses open to Max’s return, if it ever happened. He rubbed at her back gently and nodded. He did understand, everything she wasn’t saying out loud. “Do you want me to come with you?” he asked. “Or do you want family privacy?” He was part of the family, of course, but Knox wasn’t human and he wanted to give them space if they needed it.
A smile softened the grief in her expression and she brought his hand to her lips to his fingers. "You're family, Knox. I want you there, but I understand if you want to stay here. It might feel too heavy." She knew he could handle it, of course, but Shayna Mae always wanted to make sure Knox knew he had free will, even if he was bound to her and her family. He couldn't feel human emotion as deeply as they could and he probably felt as helpless as Shayna Mae... if not more so. But she also knew having him there would give her enough strength to explain to Patrick and Aidan what had happened. Maybe she was the head of her family now, but she knew she couldn't do it without Knox by her side.
Knox gave her a gentle smile back and kissed her cheek. “I can handle heavy,” he murmured. Some O’Reillys in the past had shut him out of their grief -- and grief always came around eventually -- because he wasn’t really human. But it soothed him to know that Shayna Mae wanted him around. Maybe he could help her answer the inevitable questions that would come, too. They all had to support one another, and he worried particularly about Patrick, given his age and how he’d seen Max as his son just as much as Aidan was. Knox hugged Shayna Mae once more with both arms, then stood up and offered his hand to help her to her feet as well. “Let’s do it. Heavy burdens are harder to carry alone.”
With Knox's help, Shayna Mae got to her feet and then slipped her arms around him. "Thank you," she murmured. This wouldn't be easy for any of them, but they were strong. And Shayna Mae knew she would continue to try and find out where Max was, and if he was alive. She had to hold onto some semblance of hope that he could come back. But for now.... for now, she had to talk to her dad and her brother and be strong for them. Pulling back. Shayna Mae took Knox's hand to lead him inside.