Who: Jules and Gavin Where: The Lucas house When: Morning around 10am, Thursday, January 25 Status: Complete
After leaving Nic and Neil, Jules drove back to town. Since she was alone she allowed herself to cry, although it made driving safely much more difficult. She had completely fucked up. Thinking that her dream was showing her how to save Jasper but instead it had just meant to take him away. How was she going to explain that to Jasper’s dad? Or Bash? And what about Carson? What if he killed everyone over there while he was a werewolf? What if he died? What if he was already dead? Jules couldn’t contain the grief and guilt that had seized her and she had to pull over twice to try and keep herself from driving off the road into a tree. It probably wouldn’t have been an accident if she had.
What was she supposed to do? She didn’t think she was equipped to deal with any of this. It was so tempting to drive back and try to open that doorway again and find Jasper. But deep in her gut, she knew it didn’t work that way. He had tried to drag her into that place with him. That hadn’t been Jasper and there was no guarantee he would ever be Jasper again.
Her eyes were puffy and tired by the time she pulled up to Jasper’s house and Jules wiped her runny nose with the back of her sleeve. Jasper’s dad’s car was gone. Was he not home? She vaguely recalled that he was dating Ms. Harris so maybe he was with her. But Jules didn’t know where Ms. Harris lived. Jules was exhausted and she considered just parking and sleeping in the car until he got home. But it was too cold for that and she couldn’t leave the car running all night.
Jules waited a half an hour in front of the house before she finally drove home. Everyone was asleep in her house so she dragged herself upstairs and fell into bed. She thought for sure she would pass out but instead Jules lay on top of her blankets, staring numbly at the wall until the dawn began to peek through her blinds. She did doze on and off for a bit but eventually she slipped out of bed again and somehow found herself back in Jasper’s car. It was a quarter to ten and she was barely thinking about the fact that she was missing school. Jules shivered in the cold, trying to ignore how the car smelled like Jasper. She wanted to just curl up in the seat and sleep. At least she felt so numb now that she didn’t think she could cry even if she wanted to.
A strained sort of sound escaped her when she pulled up to the house to find the driveway still empty. Fuck it. Jules pulled into the driveway and put the car into park. She kept the car running but pushed the seat back a little so she could lay on her side and rest. Jasper’s dad would have to come home eventually, so she planned on waiting now until he did.
Gavin had stayed at the hospital a little longer than he wanted. His mother was confused and still a little groggy and didn't want him to leave while Amelia was nearly bouncing off the walls with irritation and restlessness. The dogs had to wait in the car since things in there seemed to be getting back to normal and Gavin kind of wished he could just wait out there with them instead of being inside, dealing with everything. At least it was almost back to normal and there was no fog outside or random violence happening so that was a good sign, especially with how Amelia was now awake and energetic.
His small reprieve from his anxiety was cut short when they drove home and found Jasper's car in the driveway. Gavin had no idea if he was dangerous and Jules's warnings rang in his head when he slowly backed the truck up next to the black Chevy.
The height difference made it easy to spot that it wasn't Jasper inside and Gavin felt conflicted between scared and relieved when he realized that. He turned off the engine and turned to Amelia, resting his hand on her knee. "Take the dogs inside and wait there," he told her and maybe she realized how tired he was because despite the flare-up of anger in her eyes, she didn't protest.
"What if Jasper's inside?" she asked instead and Gavin just shook his head because he didn't know, he didn't even know what it meant if his son was in there. If everything was okay, Jules wouldn't be curled up in Jasper's car, she'd be at home or inside with Jasper.
He waited until Amelia got out and stalked up to the house with the dogs in tow and only got out himself when she was opening the front door. The noise of his engine and doors slamming shut had obviously woken Jules so he didn't bother knocking on the window, just waited while she sat up, his brows heavy with worry.
Jules was only dozing when she heard noise in the front yard. For a moment she thought about just staying where she was, locking the doors and making them drag her out of the car kicking and screaming. She knew once she got out, that would be it. All she'd have left was the necklace he bought her for Christmas. The one resting heavily against her chest beneath her sweater. Jules looked up at Gavin with bleary eyes before turning off the engine to Jasper's car and pushing open the door. Her muscles hurt so she moved slowly. Climbing out of the car, Jules shut the door behind her and clutched his keys in her hand. "It didn't... things didn't go the way we'd wanted them too. The fog... the creatures were everywhere... we had to close the doorway..." Jules's voice caught and her eyes, already sore from crying earlier, filled again. "I had to close him in. I didn't want to."
Gavin knew what she was about to say before she said it, maybe not in those exact words but he knew she was about to tell him Jasper was gone. He was cursed and his kids kept getting swallowed up by darkness, everyone around him maybe because Mila had gone too for a while, hadn't she. Was the darkness going to pick off everyone close to him. There was an unwanted pressure behind his eyes as tears he couldn't fight off started forcing their way out and breathing was hard suddenly, like the air was goo. "You tried," he whispered after attempting words for a few seconds. "He almost killed Amelia." That didn't make this better. He somehow hoped it would but it didn't, it just made the air thicker and his insides shakier. "Is he... Is he dead?"
Her first instinct was to blurt out No! because she couldn't adjust her brain into accepting the possibility that Jasper could be dead. A soft sound stuck in her throat instead and Jules struggled for a moment to form some kind of coherent response. "He... no. The things in the fog... they weren't attacking Jasper or the others. I think they're... like them. He's just... gone. In that other place." Her breath hitched and she decided it would be better not to tell Gavin that there had been a werewolf set loose on them too. Carson had changed on a night without the full moon. He hadn't attacked her. He had saved her. Maybe he had... some semblance of control. That's what she opted to think because the other alternative was too horrible. "I guess when I had that dream, it wasn't meant to save Jasper... it was meant to save everyone else." As hard as she'd tried not to, Jules was crying again and she held out Jasper's keys with a shaking hand. "I'm sorry."
Gavin didn't know what to do when she started crying, he felt like crying too, was already halfway there already and god he wished he was better with people. "Listen," he said, quelling his own grief for a moment to deal with hers and while all he had was platitudes, they felt better than nothing. "Amelia survived years in some hellish place, maybe he will come too." He reached out to touch her arm but stopped before he made contact, unsure if it was appropriate. "Do you have someone you can be with?" he asked quietly. "Do you want to come in?" He gestured awkwardly at the house even if he wasn't so sure it was a good idea. Amelia might be better than him at dealing with a crying girl but she was suffering too. "I can drive you somewhere."
Jules hated the idea of Jasper being stuck in that place. She hated that she was the one responsible for it. It made her want to scream and hurt something, but she had no outlet for the grief beyond crying. Even so, she still clung to Gavin’s words, because maybe Jasper would come back like Amelia had. Even if he never forgave her for what she did, she could handle it as long as he was back. When he asked if she wanted to go inside Jules shook her head, sparing a glance at the house. She didn’t think she could bear going anywhere near Jasper’s room. She might lock herself inside and never want to come out. They would have to physically remove her and that would probably be weird. Wiping at her eyes, Jules stepped forward and then hugged Gavin. She didn’t care if it was awkward or inappropriate, it was something she needed. No one else would understand how this felt but for him. Jules tried not to cry too hard against his coat, at least. “Could you just drive me home?” she asked miserably.
When she hugged him, Gavin realized that in a normal world, Jules might have ended up being his daughter-in-law. It was a jarring feeling that made his chest feel tight and he hugged her back the way he would Amelia when she cried. He rubbed her back a little through her coat, staring at Jasper's car over the top of her head and tried to think of how to tell Amelia what had happened. "Of course, of course," he muttered quietly even as he wondered if he could drive. He felt vaguely dizzy, like he'd had too many drinks or hit his head real hard and his fingers felt weirdly numb. "This isn't your fault, Jules," he added, since she was still clinging to him and crying. "He almost killed his little sister."
It hurt to cry, mostly because the corner of her eyes were sore now and her head was throbbing. But Gavin was letting her hug him and it almost felt like it should if she had a dad who was alive and was there to comfort her. She shook her head a little when he mentioned Amelia and Jules finally let him go, reaching up to wipe at her eyes again. It was a wonder she was able to keep her eyes open with how puffy they felt. "It wasn't really him. It was something controlling him. We should've tried harder to find out what was going on but we ran out of time. Everything happened so fast..." Jules wiped her nose on the back of her sleeve, not caring how snotty she was. "Is she okay now? Amelia?" Jules hadn't seen anyone but Nic and Neil after it happened, and now Gavin. She had no idea if what they had done had saved anyone, or fixed anything. Maybe if it had she might feel a tiny bit better... though she doubted it. Jules just needed to know all of this hadn't been for nothing.
"Whatever you did, worked," Gavin told her and his own eyes stung now, reddening from the salted tears trying to force their way out. "She woke up, everyone who was comatose at the hospital last night woke up." He didn't know if it was everyone but he'd seen enough people to think so and semantics weren't terribly important right now. "I know this isn't what you wanted but you did everything you could." He stepped back, unlocked the car with a flip of a switch and gestured over there. "Get in the car, I'm going to tell Amelia I'm taking you home, okay?"
It was a small comfort, hearing that closing the doorway had helped bring everyone else out of their... comas? Sickness? Jules still wasn't entirely sure what had been happening, or what to call it. But she knew Jasper would have never forgiven himself if he knew he had killed Amelia, even inadvertently. Of course, he may never know she recovered either. He may never be himself again. He may not even be alive right now. The thought formed fresh knots of grief and unease in her stomach. Jules sniffled again and looked over to the car that Gavin had unlocked. She nodded numbly and curled her arms around herself as she walked down to the car to climb inside and wait.
Gavin tried to hurry and avoid telling Amelia anything until he came back though it was hard. He just didn't want to leave her with enough information to break her heart while not really knowing what had happened. He returned to the car and got in, giving Jules a sympathetic little glance. "I'll need some direction once we're up there," he muttered. "You're in Overlook, right?" He knew she was but maybe she wanted to go somewhere else right now, he wasn't going to assume anything. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been there and his only saving grace was that there was only one road up that hill and that it was plenty obvious from anywhere in town.
Jules nodded. All she wanted was to go home and sleep. Maybe she could swipe a few of her mom's sleeping pills to make that happen. Her body felt like it had been hit by a Mack truck and honestly, she felt too numb to do much of anything else. The last thing she needed was to lay in bed and just replay the night over and over. In a vague way, she wondered how Nic and Neil were doing, who they had told and how that had gone over. Jules knew she would have to talk to Bash, but... later. She couldn't do much talking at all right now.
Gavin was torn between understanding completely that she wanted to be alone and wanting to make sure she wasn't. God knew he wanted to be alone today with a bottle or two of scotch, wanted to drown himself in oblivion and feel numb for a while instead of dealing with his daughter's grief as well. But Jules was a teenage girl, she shouldn't be alone right now. "Is your mom at home?" he asked as he started driving down Green Street, shooting Jules a few concerned little glances. "You probably shouldn't be alone today." He was pretty sure her mom was a total bitch but maybe she was still a good mom, maybe the two were close, what the hell did he know about that. He didn't exactly have a good experience with his own mom - or the mother of his children - but he'd seen it in others, like some strange culture he could only observe from afar.
It wasn't really funny but Jules released a watery sounding laugh anyway. "My mom doesn't know about any of this. I wouldn't know where to start if I had to tell her what happened. She might try to send me to that crazy hospital in Bangor if I did. Jasper would've been the one I called if I needed someone." Chewing on her lower lip, she sunk deeper against the seat. If she called his phone, would he answer? Did he have his phone when he arrived in those woods? Her fingers itched to call and see but she didn't have his phone on her. Jules glanced at Gavin. "It's okay. I'd rather be alone anyway.
It didn't sit right with Gavin but he wasn't going to push it. He'd offered, she'd declined, it wasn't any of his business how she chose to grieve. "You have my number," he muttered instead, quelling that urge to insist and find out if she didn't have at least one good friend she could go to. "If you need anything, anything at all. I don't care if it's stupid, you call me." He didn't think she would but he found he still meant those words sincerely. Jasper had loved this girl and she had clearly loved Jasper. She'd just been through hell, forced to do something nobody should ever have to do, especially not a seventeen year old girl.
Jules had friends, sure. But none that really knew what she was going through. Bash was going to be dealing with the knowledge that his mom was gone too. Who else really knew what was going on? Greg? She could only imagine the look on his face if she showed up at his house looking like this. He was probably at school anyway. Jasper had always been her tether, the one person she could depend on. And she had shut him away in some horrible dimension. Her eyes watered but Jules pressed her palms against them. "Thank you," she mumbled, lowering her hands once she was sure she wouldn't start crying again. Jules did appreciate it, because she knew he wasn't just trying to be nice. Maybe she didn't know much about Jasper's dad, but she knew that if he didn't want her calling him, he wouldn't have offered. "Tell Amelia I'm sorry? And... make sure she knows that Jasper would've never hurt her if he'd been himself."
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Gavin told her again as he fought against the urge to ask her for details. What little she told him had been so vague and he was having a hard time picturing it in his head. He had to make sure Amelia understood what had happened, that she didn't make a scapegoat out of Jules or somehow blame herself for what happened. It was bad enough to lose a brother without all that added trauma hitching a ride. "My dad was infected too," he told her. "My mom was in the hospital, just like Amelia. There's no... There's no doubt they were doing it, if you hadn't... I'm sure they would have died, a lot of people would have died."
Jules blinked in surprise at the knowledge that Jasper's grandpa had been infected. Had she known that? It was possible Jasper had told her but he talked about his family so infrequently. But Amelia hadn't died. And Jasper's grandma hadn't died either. She just wished they could have found another way. Obviously her grief was focused on losing Jasper, and even Carson, but... what about the others? Was Jasper's grandpa in those woods too? "I didn't... I never met him," Jules murmured. "I don't know if he was there. It was foggy and dark... but there were people there I'd never met. Some I've never even seen." She licked her dry lips and wished she had her chapstick. "I don't know why any of this happened. People are going to want answers and I don't have any."
"Normally I'd tell you not to talk to anyone about this," Gavin said, only refraining from lighting up a cigarette because he didn't think she'd much care for the smoke. It could wait until she was out of the car, but damn did his fingers itch for one right now. "But if you need to talk to the cops, talk to the sheriff. Demand to talk to him and nobody else. He knows about Amelia, about what really happened, he might understand this too." He frowned at the road as he thought it over again and shook his head. "But you don't have to tell anyone you don't want to tell. How many people do you think we're talking here?"
The sheriff. The one who had come to their house when her stepdad went "missing". The one who had asked her a bunch of questions over and over, watching her with those eyes that seemed to see right through her answers. The thought of talking to him again made her nervous, but... if he knew about Amelia, then he knew weird shit happened. Would he believe her if she told him about the portal? About Edward? Her head seemed to throb with each question and she decided to wait until she got some sleep before making any major decisions like that. It made her feel better that Gavin also said she didn't have to tell anyone if she didn't want to. "Um... I don't know. A dozen? Maybe more. Some of them stayed in the shadows. I couldn't tell for sure and everything happened so fast there wasn't a lot of time to count. I guess there will be some people reported missing soon."
Gavin realized that he had no idea if he should report Jasper missing or not. Or Joseph. It could wait, they were both the types to vanish without a word if it suited them so they could wait a couple of days before it got suspicious. Gavin wasn' so sure he wanted to lie to Grady's face, not after everything, but it was ultimately up to Jules. Of course, he could keep Jules's name out of it. Decisions, yet again, hard decisions. Was that all life had to offer him? Hard decisions and heartbreak? That made him think of Charlie, but he wasn't sure what to tell her either. If he could shelter everyone from this darkness, he would, but he'd have to tell his brothers about Jasper and Joseph, at the very least. "A dozen, no wonder the town was messed up," he muttered. You're lucky you didn't get hurt, did you get help?"
Jules thought about Jasper, dragging her towards that awful place. And Carson turning into a werewolf. How had she walked away from all of that relatively unharmed? Even her hands had stopped burning. Of course, Neil had electrocuted her, but she didn't think she had any side effects of that. Her whole body hurt for so many different reasons though. Gavin's question gave her pause and she remembered Neil, telling her to keep their names out of it. A bitter anger surged in her gut, but... she knew she wouldn't throw him under the bus. They had been through something traumatic together. Jules knew Neil wouldn't tell anyone what she could do... so she wouldn't tell anyone about him. "I had help," she murmured. "Please don't ask me who. If our names get out there, we could all be in trouble."
"I don't need to know," Gavin told her even if he was curious. What good would it do him? He suspected Reagan Kelly might have been there, maybe her magically inclined friend she was so vague about, but he couldn't know that for sure. Had Jasper been afraid? Or had he still not been himself when it all went down. His heart hurt just thinking about it and he drew a deep breath to try to stave off that fit of crying that threatened to overtake him at a moment's notice. "It's good you weren't alone." She was alone now though and he still didn't like that.
It was a relief that he didn't push her into telling him. He didn't need to know. Jules knew not everyone would be so understanding and she thought, for a very brief moment, about just packing a bag and making finding the bus station. Her life felt confusing now and everything she had been before all of this felt so insignificant and stupid. Cheerleading, parties, maintaining her popularity status... did any of that matter anymore? How was she supposed to go back to being Jules Cooper? Jules's lips twitched in a failed attempt at a smile. She hadn't been alone with Carson and the others, but she definitely felt alone now. She was sure they did too. Noticing that they were entering Overlook, Jules gestured ahead to the right. "I'm on Magnolia. It's... that way."
The houses here were too big, Gavin thought as he turned in on Rosewood Drive, like they were made for ten people at least. He knew all of the families here weren't even half that size and it brought up years worth of resentment. Not toward Jules though, she was practically family now even if she was a spoiled Overlook Brat. Not so spoiled now, he reminded himself. All the riches in the world wouldn't heal her broken heart. "Thank you for telling me," he said quietly as he rode past those large gardens, not a blemish in sight on any of the buildings. "I don't think I could have gone through not knowing again."
It felt too weird to say you're welcome. But she knew how Jasper had been with Amelia missing, not knowing where she was or what had happened to her. Jules knew where he was now, but she still didn't know what was happening, or what he was going through. It made bile rise in her throat but she managed to swallow it, not wanting to vomit all over Mr. Lucas's car. "If I can find a way to bring him back like he was, I'll do it," she murmured. She had no idea who to turn to, or what to do, but Jules didn't think she could go on with life now like everything was normal.
"I know a witch," Gavin said quietly, brushing a tear from his cheek with the heel of his hand in a quick motion, as if he could hide it from her if he just moved fast enough. "She couldn't do a thing to help him, she had no idea what they were dealing with. If you can fix this then... I don't know what you know but don't risk your life on it, okay? He wouldn't want that. Jasper - the real Jasper - wouldn't want that." His son could be a selfish little prick at times but Gavin knew there was more to him than that. He knew Jasper would always pick Amelia first at the very least and if he knew what he'd done to her he might not even want to come back.
Jules would have snorted if her throat hadn't been so dry and full. She knew a witch too. But Nic had done his best and had helped keep them safe. Most of them. This had just been so much bigger than magic, obviously. Who knew if magic even existed Over There. Neil's lightning had kept them at bay, and Nic had kept everyone in the perimeter. But even all of that had started to crumble at the end. Gavin's eyes were bright from barely contained emotion and Jules studied him for a brief moment. "If you found out you could help him, but it'd be risking your life, would you do it?"
Of course she had to ask that and Gavin couldn't very well lie to her face to make sure she didn't go do something stupid. "That's different," he said weakly. "I'm his dad. I'm... It's different. I'm just an old washed up drunk, you know? I don't have much to lose, you're just... you're a kid, Jules." All he had to live for was his family and his dogs and he knew Jasper would take care of all of them if it came to it, he might even do a better job. "So if you find a way and you need someone to go through a portal or something... you call me, okay?"
Jules managed a faint smile, though there was no humor in her expression. "I don't feel like a kid." But his answer was all the answer she needed. He would risk himself to help Jasper, so he couldn't help her not to. But she had no solutions, no ideas, and Jules didn't know where to start anymore. "You have Amelia. And Ms. Harris. And your family. You have more to lose than you think you do and I think they deserve to have you around as much as they deserve to have Jasper." Jules inhaled, trying to calm the tremors in her hands. "If I learn anything, if I find out how to get him back... the way he was... I'll call you. I promise."
Gavin didn't think he'd ever felt like a kid, even when he was one, so he understood where she was coming from. "Do that, please," he said since he knew he wouldn't be able to stop her if it came to it, but he could help her and maybe keep her safe somehow. He didn't want to really address how much people deserved having him around, he had hurt people in the past and he was likely to do that again so it was hard to shake the feeling that they'd all eventually be better off without him. He turned the car onto Magnolia, gazing up at the houses and wondering which one was hers. "It's a beautiful day," he said with a mix of sadness and awe. How could it be a beautiful day when there was so much pain going around? But the fog was gone, people were waking up, all that pain hadn't been for nothing.
Jules blinked, as if suddenly realizing that it was a beautiful day. It felt gray and dreary in her mind, even if it wasn't outside. A stark contrast from the strong winds and fog that had covered the forest floor earlier. "That's my house," she said, pointing ahead to the left. She didn't see her mom's car, but that didn't mean it wasn't in the garage. Jules had no idea if she was home or not but she hoped not. Jules just wanted to sneak back into her bedroom undetected. And if Margaret Cooper saw Gavin Lucas, of all people, driving her daughter, she would go ballistic. "Thank you for the ride," she murmured.
Gavin turned into the driveway, not really thinking about how it might look that he was driving Jules home. She was dating his son, his son was now missing and he had no idea how to even begin processing that. "Jules-" he started as she was about to leave but he wasn't sure what he could say that he hadn't already said, nothing would make this easier and she wasn't more likely to call him if he reminded her she could do that. "Just... Take care of yourself, don't be alone," he mumbled. "None of this is your fault so don't start punishing yourself."
Rationally Jules knew Gavin's advice came from a good place. But of course this was her fault. Some of it was, anyway. She had helped people, but she also failed. She failed Jasper. Explaining that to Gavin felt useless, because he wouldn't really know how she was feeling, would he? Then again, from what she knew, he had failed Jasper too, and for much longer. So maybe he knew where she was coming from. "I won't," she said finally, although she was sure they both knew that was a lie. Jules pushed open the door to slip out. "Tell Amelia I'm sorry."
"Yeah," Gavin said quietly and that was a conversation he was already dreading. He might be hurting but Amelia's pain would be so much worse, she had already been through so much and she loved Jasper far better than he ever could have. His heart hurt just thinking about it and he resentfully thought that he did not want to start crying here in this overpriced pompous part of town.