Who: Mila and Aaron When: evening, Tuesday, Jan 23rd Where: car, Juniper Inn Status: complete
Aaron didn’t think he’d ever been so tired. It had probably happened, he was sure he’d hit his physical limit at some point during his life, but he couldn’t remember it over how his body currently felt. Everything hurt -- his legs, his back, his arms and shoulders. He and Caden had worked their asses off, but Caden didn’t have much energy to start with, so Aaron had done the brunt of the work. It was disturbing to see his tough-as-nails brother so diminished, but that was just one small thing on a list of disturbing shit from the day. None of it had really sunk in yet, despite having to manhandle his father’s corpse into and out of a truckbed, and digging a hole for it. Even after what he’d seen with his own eyes, the whole thing felt like a goddamn nightmare.
All he wanted to do was see Mila. Aaron had been texting her off and on, and she seemed suspicious of how concerned he was. Caden had told him a dozen times not to tell anyone, but Aaron wasn’t sure he was capable of keeping this from Mila. Something else maybe, but ... not this. He hadn’t gone back to Caden’s place or even his own to shower, he’d just dropped his brother off at home and gone to the Morettis’. Aaron sat in his truck in the driveway, filthy and exhausted and on the verge of overwhelmed tears as he hit the call button on his phone. He couldn’t go to the door looking like he was, and he honestly hoped Mila could get away with him for a while. He just needed to see her.
Mila had been suspicious of how often Aaron had texted her that day to check in. It wasn't unusual for them to text each other when they were apart, but there had been something different about it today. It had been more frequent than usual, and while it didn't bother Mila, it did worry her. When she got home from work that night she had taken a long, hot bath before taking her laptop to her bedroom to start searching for places around Point Pleasant to rent, or maybe even buy now that she had a steady, good paying job. Her parents had been cleaning out her trailer in Seaview so Mila could sell it and a lot of her things were now in storage.
So when Aaron called, she was still sitting crossed legged on her bed, scrolling through a real estate site. The computer forgotten, Mila frowned and grabbed her phone, quickly answering before it could go to voicemail. "Hey," she greeted softly, trying not to let the concern she'd felt earlier seep into her tone.
She didn’t sound afraid or possessed -- not that he’d been able to tell the first time -- and that was something of a relief. Aaron had to swallow before he answered, resting his forehead against the one arm braced against the steering wheel. He just wanted to magically be clean and in bed, curled up with Mila. There were too many steps to get there, and he hated that they didn’t live together already. “Hey,” he answered, his voice low and gravelly. “I’m outside. Uh ... d’you think ... you think you could get away for the night with me? A motel or somethin’?” Aaron knew it was kind of a lot to ask because of how conservative her parents were, but he knew they couldn’t go back to Seaview and he was too filthy to sneak into her room. He desperately needed a shower before he touched her.
Mila frowned, her heart tripping in her chest. Something was definitely wrong. Closing her laptop, Mila slipped off the bed and began to rummage through her basket of clean clothes to find something to throw into a bag. She wasn't thinking about her parents, and whether or not they would approve. She was an adult and she and Aaron would be living together soon enough. They knew that much and while her mom sniffed about it whenever it was brought up, that had been the extent of her disapproval. "Yeah, we can do that. Do you want to drive out to the motel at Cherries? Or, what about Juniper?" It was in town at least, and Mila had some money now. "Just give me a second to throw some clothes in a bag. Do you want to come inside?"
Aaron knew he was probably worrying her, but he couldn’t help it. Shit was fucking worrisome. He had no idea if his mother would survive in the hospital, if Caden would be okay, where the fuck Jasper was ... he’d just buried his father in a shallow grave in the frozen ground in the woods. Aaron had always had complicated feelings about his dad, but this just took them to a whole different level. Leave it to Joseph Lucas to die in a fashion that just fucked up his kids even more. His shoulders slumped a little when Mila was immediately agreeable. “Juniper,” he answered. It was more expensive, but so much more comfortable and clean, and Mila deserved that. “I really shouldn’t, m’pretty dirty. No rush, out here when you’re ready.”
He was dirty. Maybe he had been working on some cars earlier, though her gut told her that it was probably something else. Something dark and distressing. "I'll be right out," she murmured. Mila hung up and grabbed the first pair of pants and sweater she found, throwing them into a light pink duffel bag that had been hanging in her closet since high school. She was already in leggings and a t-shirt, so she didn't worry too much about getting dressed. After plucking her toothbrush from the bathroom she went downstairs and told her parents where she was going, keeping her voice light as to not tip them off that something was possibly wrong.
Her mom clucked her disapproval from the couch where she was doing some kind of cross stitch, but she got no real pushback so Mila pulled on her coat, picked up her bag and headed out to Aaron's truck. Her heart was racing and Mila tried to ignore the impending doom that was threatening to take over. Maybe Aaron had just had a bad day and wanted some alone time with her. She didn't always have to assume the worst. Opening the door, Mila climbed inside and set her bag down on the floor, immediately searching Aaron's face in the dim light. Her hand reached for his. "What happened?"
Aaron almost cried when he saw Mila emerged from her parents’ house. Maybe that was dramatic, but fuck. After the day he’d had, he felt entitled to some internal drama. Aaron looked over at Mila when she got in, and rubbed his dirty hand against his equally dirty jeans before he let her take it. For a moment he just stared at her, not sure where to even start. What had happened? So many bad things. Aaron swallowed thickly and cleared his throat, his eyes drifting back through the windshield. He might as well be honest and keep it simple. Aaron trusted Mila not to tell anyone, and it wasn’t like she hadn’t been through horrors they couldn’t even contemplate already. “My dad’s dead,” he said, his voice raw. “Today, this morning ... Jasper killed him. Caden was there, but he couldn’t stop it. He called me to help, and ... we buried him out in the woods.”
It was startling enough to hear Joseph Lucas was dead and her eyes ticked immediately to the Lucas house next door. The lights were off, making the house look more ominous than usual. But the initial shock was intensified by Aaron telling her that he had been killed by Jasper, of all people. And Aaron had helped bury the body? Why hadn't they called the police? The question was there on the tip of her tongue but Mila knew why. Jasper was eighteen. He would have gone to prison, perhaps for the rest of his life. Mila's throat felt full and she clutched Aaron's hand tightly to keep from trembling. "How... why? Do you know what happened?"
The ‘how’ wasn’t really a question Aaron wanted to answer. Every time he shut his eyes for too long, he saw Joseph’s ruined face, bones and teeth sticking out of what was essentially just red pulp. His stomach turned over with nausea, and Aaron took a deeper breath, squeezing Mila’s hand back. “Caden said he picked Jasper up for company while he went over there to check on my mom ... she’d been calling. And while he was doing that, Jasper and Dad just started arguing. Caden said he couldn’t even tell what it was about. But they got into a fight and before he could break it up, Jasper ... he uh, beat Joseph to death with an ashtray.” He licked his lips and swallowed, his voice dropping even softer. “Caden said he laughed about it. Then just left. There’s something wrong with him. I don’t think it’s the tunnel thing, but ... something.”
Her stomach rolled at the thought of anyone being beaten to death with an ashtray. It was shocking to hear and Mila tried to ignore how nauseous it made her feel. If just hearing about it made her feel this sick she could only imagine how Aaron was feeling now, having witnessed it. "I can't believe it," Mila murmured, bringing his hand up to her cheek. "I'm so sorry, Aaron. Do you know where Jasper is now? Did anyone... no one saw you, did they?" As far as Mila knew her parents hadn't been home all day. Even if they had been, if they had seen Caden and Aaron next door for any reason, they might have said something to Mila. It sounded like this had all happened in broad daylight and that was dangerous.
Aaron winced a little and gently pulled his hand back down from Mila’s face. He was still filthy, he didn’t want his father’s dried blood and dirt from his grave getting on Mila’s skin. “No one saw,” he murmured back. “We were really careful.” Aaron didn’t know that for sure, a nosy neighbor could’ve seen him backing his truck in close to the house and the two of them dragging something large encased in a tarp and trash bags out of the side door. Truth be told, Aaron didn’t think they’d actually seen anybody out when they’d driven to the road out of town. Or maybe his memory was all fucked up, who knew. “But no, we don’t know where he is. And I can’t ... I thought about going to look for him, but ...” Aaron made a vague gesture with his free hand, started to wipe at his eyes, then stopped himself. He squeezed Mila’s hand again and then let her go so he could put the truck in gear and get them moving. Aaron wanted a shower more than ever in his life. “That’s why I kept bugging you today, just in case.”
Fear seized Mila's chest at the mere thought that Aaron might have gone to look for Jasper. If he had murdered his own grandfather in cold blood, there was no telling what he might have tried to do to Aaron. Granted, Aaron was stronger than Joseph, but still. If there was something supernatural or demonic happening, physical strength wouldn't matter. There was also the possibility someone had seen Aaron and Caden moving Joseph and maybe they wouldn't think anything of it until the cops came snooping around. Mila was scared for him, and for Caden... and even for Jasper, especially if the boy was being influenced by something else. Mila hoped Juniper didn't have many people wandering around in it tonight. The less who saw Aaron looking like this, the better. "I'm fine," she murmured. "I mean, I was fine. It was just a normal day. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I'm sorry about your dad. What about your mom? Is she okay?"
He wasn’t even sure if he was sorry about his dad. Aaron had swung through a gamut of emotions all day long about it -- he’d shed a few silent tears while he and Caden wrestled with the old man’s body, then cussed him out as he struggled to dig a hole in the forest floor. Aaron’s hands were blistered but he could hardly even feel them at the moment. All of it still felt surreal, like some kind of horribly detailed nightmare. He blinked a little when Mila mentioned his mother. Oh yeah. He’d half-forgotten that part of the day. “She uh, I had to take her to the hospital,” Aaron said. “She’s sick or ... something, I don’t know. She wasn’t awake when I got there, really, and Caden was too weak to take her. She didn’t look hurt though, so I don’t think Dad did anything to her, she’s just ... they called Caden later and said they were working on figuring it out, but she was stable. A lot of people are down with something right now. Something’s going on, I dunno what. ... I don’t think she knows what happened, even though she was there.” And God, Aaron didn’t want to be the one to tell her. Maybe it was a small mercy that Bridget had been unconscious.
Mila fell silent as she digested all of that. Bridget had been sick? She thought about Anthony, how he had been laid up in bed and not at work yesterday, or today. What was happening? "She'll be okay," Mila murmured after a moment. "We'll go see her, make sure she wasn't aware of what was happening. For all she knows, your dad just up and left. We'll figure it out. But let's get you taken care of first." She sort of wished she was driving. He just looked so tired. A hot shower or bath and then he needed to sleep. Hopefully Juniper would provide a brief reprieve from all of the horrors Aaron had to endure today. The horrors he'd been enduring. He deserved so much more than this. "I'll do anything you need me to do, Aaron. We're in this together."
Aaron couldn’t even think about visiting his mom yet. He would have to look her in the eyes and lie, knowing that he’d buried her husband in a too-shallow grave out in the woods. If she even recovered from whatever was happening. But losing both of his parents was too awful to contemplate, so Aaron pushed that away. He just had to get through the rest of the night. “Thank you,” he murmured, reaching over to gently touch Mila’s knee. Still overly aware of how dirty he was, Aaron didn’t linger there. He couldn’t wait to have a shower and then really cling to her. “For now just ... keep it quiet. We’ll figure out the rest, like you said. I just wanna be with you and sleep tonight.” He was already sure he would have bad dreams, but that was inevitable, and his body needed to rest. Aaron slowed down to take a turn onto Juniper’s street, hoping that it would be as deserted as it usually was in the wintertime.
Mila nodded. She could keep things quiet. She wouldn't do or say anything unless Aaron told her to. And she had to assume Caden would tell Roxy about this, although who knew for sure. Maybe she would try to feel that out later. Right now Mila just wanted to be there for Aaron with whatever he needed. It took her a moment to realize he might not have clothes to wear tomorrow if he had to get rid of the ones he was in now. Maybe she could drive to his place in the morning and grab some for him. The thought of returning to Seaview for anything made her blood run cold and she immediately decided to ask Roxy to maybe bring some clean clothes for Aaron in the morning. They could worry about it later. As they pulled into Juniper's small parking lot, Mile grabbed her bag and looked over at Aaron. "Stay here. I'll go in and get a room. That way you're not standing around in the lobby. I'll come out and get you, okay?"
He hadn’t even thought about clothes, besides knowing that the ones he had on had to be burned. Aaron was glad he hadn’t been wearing his favorite jeans or anything, already prepped to get dirty while he cleaned out his trailer. Which he remembered at that second that he’d left unlocked. Oh well. Aaron stopped the truck at the front door so Mila didn’t have to walk far, then looked over at her and nodded a bit. “Just text me and I’ll come in?” he suggested. “I wanna park the truck somewhere you can’t see it from the road.” He could park on the side of the building, somewhere not super obvious. Aaron was pretty sure nobody would come looking for him, but it would make him feel better, and that was worth a lot tonight.
"I will." She slipped out of the truck and hurried up to the front doors of the inn. Mila didn't think it would be very busy, considering it was January in Maine. The girl behind the counter was young and seemed more focused on her phone than anything else, so that was beneficial to them as well. Mila was given a key for room number four on the first floor and she quickly signed the receipt before texting Aaron. I've been here before and there are two doors in the back of the building. If you want to come in through there, I can let you in. That way he wouldn't have to come in through the front doors and potentially draw the clerk's attention. Mila was pretty sure Aaron would agree to that so she started for the back patio of the inn, relieved to find the clerk's attention was refocused on her own phone again.
Aaron had parked on the side of the building, leaning forward to rest his forehead against the steering wheel and shut his eyes for a minute. He was just starting to doze a little when his phone buzzed on his leg, startling him awake again. Aaron had to read Mila’s text twice to really comprehend it. A back door was much better than the front one, though, and he was dimly grateful for his smart girlfriend. yes. B there in a min. Aaron made sure he had his wallet and keys and everything, then climbed out of the truck and walked through the cold around to the back. He spotted Mila at the patio door and was thankful to walk into the warmth of the inn. “Hey, thanks,” he murmured, glancing around as he walked in. There was nobody in sight, which was good. “Got the key and everything?”
Mila wanted to touch Aaron so badly. Wrap her arms around him and hold on for the entire night. But she knew he didn't want to touch her until he was cleaned up. It was hard to keep her hands to herself, though. "I have the key," she said, lifting it up for him to see. She led him down the hall to their room. Mila didn't want to say anything else until they were in the room and alone. Not that there were a ton of people around, but Mila didn't want to risk anyone overhearing anything they might say. Mila unlocked the door and pushed it open, quickly flipping on the light and setting her bag down. It was a nice room and she couldn't hear anyone in the room next door either. Maybe, hopefully, it was vacant. "Let's get you out of those clothes. I'll make sure you have clean ones to wear home in the morning."
He wasn’t eager to talk anyway, so Aaron didn’t mind walking to the room in silence. He glanced behind himself to make sure he wasn’t leaving mud behind on the carpet, but it seemed to have dried enough. That was good. He was distantly worried about leaving traces of what he’d done everywhere, but not enough to be really paranoid about it. Aaron was too tired for that shit. Some tension leaked out of him once they were inside their room with the door locked, and Aaron nodded a bit as he started to pull his coat off. He didn’t know how Mila was going to get him clean clothes, but he trusted that she would. He perched on the little bench by the door to get his boots unlaced, each arm feeling like it weighed a hundred pounds.
"Here." Mila knelt down in front of him to help with his boots. They were filthy too and she wondered if he would throw them away along with everything else he was wearing. Tugging one boot off, Mila began to roll his sock down and off his foot. "I have some Ibuprofen in my bag if you need any," she murmured. She had stronger pain killers too, for her lingering injuries, but she wasn't sure she felt okay giving him any of those. With his boots off, Mila looked up at Aaron. "Why don't I run you a bath, so you can soak in the heat for a bit. I'll take care of the clothes and get you some water to drink. Dinner, if you're hungry." She was betting he didn't have much of an appetite, but she wanted to offer, just in case.
Aaron leaned back again so Mila could get his boots off. Even the relief that came with that sensation was tainted -- it wasn’t like he’d earned it with a day’s good hard work. Aaron really wanted some Oxy and a stiff drink, and he knew Mila probably knew that. But Ibuprofen was better than nothing, and he was pretty sore. “M’not hungry,” he confirmed for her. “But feel free to get you something if you want. A bath and a couple Ibuprofen sounds good.” He didn’t want her to have to take care of his clothes -- he didn’t want her to have to be dealing with this at all, but he just couldn’t keep it to himself. It was big, too much. Still, he appreciated it. Aaron moved to peel his shirt up and off with a little groan.
Mila knew he would probably prefer an Oxy but she wasn't going to give him one of those. She hadn't thought to bring alcohol either. But she would get him some water and Ibuprofen and hopefully that would help some. She wasn't hungry either, so that was one less thing to worry about tonight. Shoving his dirty socks into his boots, Mila got to her feet and went into the bathroom to start the bath. Maybe once he was settled she would find the supply room and see if they had any decent trash bags for Aaron's clothes. Then maybe she would text Roxy, just to say hi... see how Caden was... and maybe find out if Roxy knew what Mila now knew. If so, it would probably be easier to get some clean clothes for Aaron in the morning.
With that in mind, Mila grabbed one of the plastic cups on the sink to fill with water before bringing it out to hand it to Aaron. Her medication was in her bag so she began to rummage through it before finding the tiny white bottle. "I've got some sleeping pills too, in case you need it," she murmured, offering out the four Ibuprofen in her hand. "Just tell me what you need and I'll do my best, Aaron."
Aaron had leaned back and closed his eyes for a moment while Mila moved around, but he sat up again to take the water and pills. They were weak compared to what he really wanted, but that was just something he would have to deal with for the rest of his life, probably. Just like the events of this awful fucking day. Why were their lives seemingly a growing collection of scars, both inside and out? Why couldn’t they catch a break? And poor Gavin was going to lose his mind when he found out. Aaron felt certain that he would, regardless of their efforts. “Thanks,” he murmured to Mila before he popped all four into his mouth and washed them down with water. “Don’t think I’ll have trouble passing out ... you’re doing everything else already, it’s okay.” Aaron gave her a faint smile, pretty sure he understood how helpless she must feel. He’d been on the other side of that since she’d come back from the tunnel. Aaron stood up with a little grunt and kissed her forehead. “I’m gonna strip in the bathroom, easier to clean up,” he murmured. He just wanted to get clean. Maybe he would soak for a while and then shower.
She did feel helpless, but she was glad she could still be with him. Sometimes having another presence was enough. "Okay. I'll be here if you need anything," Mila said, still planning on finding a decent trash bag to use. The inn's trash can liners were cheap, thin bags that would probably rip with all of Aaron's clothes inside of it. The sooner they got rid of the evidence the better. Or hell, if she couldn't find a trash bag she would just shove Aaron's stuff into her own bag and get rid of that. Everything felt sort of surreal, but Mila was growing used to that feeling. Maybe that's why she was starting to feel oddly calm about the entire thing. She didn't think anyone would miss Joseph Lucas, although she understood that would trigger complicated feelings in Aaron. Mila rubbed Aaron's back. "Just try to relax. I'll take care of your clothes."
“Thanks babe,” Aaron said softly. He dipped in for a soft kiss, then shuffled to the bathroom. Aaron took his clothes off, hating how stiff they were with dried mud and slush and blood. The bathtub was almost full of fresh clean water, and Aaron didn’t think he’d ever wanted to take a bath so badly. He got in, hissing a tiny bit at the hot water, but it only took a second or two to start to feel good. He laid back and slouched to get as much of his big body as he could in the water, resting his head against the back wall of the shower and closing his eyes again. Immediately he saw Joseph’s ruined face and Aaron forced his lids up once more. He wondered idly if it had been a painful death, or if any of the blows from the ashtray had just ... flipped the lights off, so to speak. Aaron hadn’t asked Caden what it had looked like, and he never would. He wasn’t sure he would’ve been able to handle being there in the slightest. He took a washcloth, wet it, and draped it over his face to soak in the warmth. He’d been cold for most of the day, in spite of the physical labor, so the water burned in a good sort of way as his body warmed up finally.
While Aaron was in the bathtub Mila slipped out of the room, key in hand. The whole building felt deserted, though she was sure there had to be one or two people staying there based on the cars in the lot. The supply closet for "employees only" was at the end of the hall and Mila found it unlocked. Inside there was plenty of cleaning supplies, toilet paper and... trash bags. Some heavy duty ones too. She pulled one from the large box and quickly slipped back out. Returning to their room, Mila opened the trash bag and set it down on the bed before walking to the open door of the bathroom. Aaron had a washcloth over his face so she rapped her nails against the door, not wanting to startle him, before reaching down to pick up his clothes. They smelled like blood and death. A smell she was intimately familiar with. Her throat closed painfully but Mila held back the urge to drop them back to the floor. As horrifying as this was, it was real. The clothes in her arms were real. Aaron was real. And he needed her. The reassurance calmed her enough that she was able to clear her throat and speak. "Do you want me to get rid of your boots too?"
Aaron lifted the cloth to look at Mila, too tired and in his own head to really notice her discomfort with his clothes. He looked pained as he looked down at his boots. They were broken in, sure, but they still had a lot of life in them and they were his favorites to work in ... “I don’t want you to, but probably should,” he mumbled unhappily. He knew they hadn’t escaped getting some of Joseph’s blood on them, and that made them evidence that he’d at least helped cover up a crime, so they needed to go. “Thank you, Mila,” he added. She didn’t have to be doing any of this for him, but there she was supporting him in ways that made her complicit too, without a second thought. Or at least no second thoughts that she’d expressed, anyway. She hadn’t once reminded him that what he’d done was a crime, she probably understood his reasons for covering it up better than he did. Aaron had to do his part to protect the family, that was just what they all did. That was why Caden had immediately said he would take the fall if they got found out, for Jasper’s sake. Jasper who’d disappeared, as far as Aaron knew. God, what a mess.
Mila nodded, already deciding to get him another pair of boots. A nicer pair, even. It wouldn't do much to make any of this go away, but still. It occurred to her at some point that she would be complicit in covering up a murder but it didn't feel important enough to worry about. She would protect Aaron the best that she could. Nothing they could do to her here would be as bad as what she had already been through. Aaron had stuck by her, and she was going to stand by him too. Joseph Lucas was a despised man in this town. Nobody was going to really miss him. That felt a bit callous to Mila, but it was what it was. She left Aaron in the bath and began to shove the boots and clothes into the trash bag. She didn't leave anything behind for Aaron to wear, but she doubted he would care. He liked to sleep nude anyway. Tying up the bag tight she decided to take it outside to the truck tonight, while things were dark and no one was around but for an inattentive clerk at the front desk. They could drive somewhere in the morning to burn everything. Leaving the trash bag by the door she wandered back to the bathroom, crouching down beside Aaron and resting her hand lightly on his chest. "I'm going to take the trash out to the truck for tonight. That way no one sees us carrying it out in the morning. I'll be right back, okay?" And frankly it would keep the room from smelling too bad.
Clothes definitely weren’t on Aaron’s list of things he cared about at the moment. He slept naked most of the time anyway, and ‘tomorrow’ felt like a distant, foreign concept at the moment. He just soaked in the hot water while she loaded up his clothes and stepped out for a moment, then nodded a bit at what she told him. He had a tiny flare of worry about her going back outside alone, but it passed quickly. Nobody knew where they were, least of all Jasper. He briefly touched Mila’s hand on his chest and murmured an “okay.” Once she was gone, Aaron closed his eyes for another minute or two. Part of him wanted to stay right there for hours on end, like if he didn’t move nothing else would happen. He hoped Roxy was taking care of Caden. He hoped his mom would make it through. And he hoped that Jasper would be okay, that whatever was happening would stop soon. The hot water was nice, but Aaron was starting to itch as he thawed out and realized just how dirty he was. He gazed down at his hands for a couple of moments, and suddenly the dried blood on them made his chest feel tight and his heart pick up speed. Joseph was really dead, and Aaron had buried him. Fuck. He sat up and pulled the plug to drain the water, then hauled himself to his feet. He had to get clean, had to scrub it all away. Aaron pulled the curtain closed and turned the shower on once the water was down past his ankles, grabbing for the soap and washcloth to start with his hands and arms.
Mila took the trash bag down and put it in the bed of Aaron's truck, tucking it into the corner just to blend in with the shadows a bit. It was chilly so she hurried back into the inn and pulled out her phone. After brief hesitation she sent Roxy a quick text, just to see if her friend was awake. Aaron would probably crash pretty soon and Mila would lay with him, but she felt like maybe she would be awake for a while, trying to think of the best way to protect Aaron. Mila knew Roxy would do whatever she could for Caden too. So she felt like, at least with this, there was strength in numbers.
While waiting to see if Roxy would respond, Mila went back to the room and locked up for the night. She could hear the shower running and she wondered if she should climb in and join him, even just to wash his back. But there was a chance he wanted to be alone, and Mila could respect that too. So she slipped into the bathroom, quickly washing her hands in the sink before turning to the closed shower curtain. "Do you need help, Aaron?" There was nothing suggestive in her tone, just concern.
Aaron felt like he was freaking out a bit, and he didn’t want to. He was too tired for that. But his heart was racing and the water didn’t feel hot enough to get him clean. He couldn’t scrub hard enough. All the steam was making the air feel a little too thick to breathe. He heard the sink running but Mila’s voice still startled him a bit. For a couple of heartbeats he didn’t know what to tell her, because the answer was Yes and No at the same time. But Mila’s presence was almost always calming to him, and he definitely needed some calm. “Yeah, uh ... yes,” he said. Aaron couldn’t specify what help he needed, but he wanted Mila in there with him if she didn’t mind getting in.
Mila's phone buzzed in her hand and she looked down to see Roxy had responded. Relieved, Mila sent a quick reply of her own before placing her phone on the sink. She stripped out of her clothes and left them on the bathroom floor before pulling the shower curtain back just enough to step into the tub behind Aaron. She hadn't asked what he needed help with, but she hadn't really needed to. He was going through something traumatic, and it probably hadn't completely hit him yet either. The water was hot, the steam thick. She took his arm to turn him toward her, slipping both arms around him and pulling him close. When she had come home, there were times she just needed another comforting presence to feel better. It was generally better than someone trying to find the words to make things okay, especially when there were no words.
Aaron didn’t feel clean yet -- would he ever? -- but since they were in the shower he felt more okay with touching Mila. And God did he need to touch her. He turned when she tugged at him and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, bowing his head to press his temple to hers. Of all people, he knew that she knew sometimes there was just nothing to say, and this was one of those times. With his woman in his arms, his hold on himself finally broke and Aaron’s chest heaved as he started to cry. He tried not to blubber, but they were definitely sobs. It felt kind of good to let it out, like the pressure eased up somewhere. He still couldn’t believe it had happened, the thought that Joseph was finally really gone was so bizarre he wasn’t sure if he would be able to really absorb it for quite a while. Knowing that Jasper had killed him so brutally was even more surreal. He loved his nephew, they were fairly close, how could this happen? How could they not see it coming? Caden said something was wrong with him, but what? There were too many questions, not enough answers, and Aaron’s entire being was so tired. So he just clung to the one good thing in his life he felt like he understood and cried for a while.
As soon as she felt the tension in his back Mila tightened her hold on him. It hurt that she couldn't just wipe away all of the painful things he was feeling. This was something that would stick with him and linger and if he didn't have the support he needed to cope, it could be destructive. Rubbing her hands up and down his back, Mila closed her eyes, murmuring soft words to make sure he knew it would be okay. That probably felt far away from this moment, but they would pull through this, just like they'd pulled through so much already. There were things to be done, answers to find. But for now Mila was going to let him purge as much as he needed to.
Aaron would’ve related to that helpless feeling. He’d so badly wanted to heal Mila’s wounds for her, or at least take some of the painful burden onto himself, but it was impossible. All he could do for her was what she was currently doing for him. Quiet support and something to hold onto when everything else felt like it was falling apart. Aaron burned through the energy he had for it pretty quickly, so it didn’t last long, but he felt a tiny bit better when he loosened his grip on Mila. Aaron wiped at his eyes and gave her a bit of space. “M’sorry,” he mumbled automatically. “It’s just ... been a lot, today.”
She kept her arms around him even as he pulled back, not wanting to let him go. Having grown up next door, and having worked with his brothers for years, Mila knew how the Lucas men tended to bury their feelings. Aaron had always been the most open of them all and she knew he felt things more keenly than the others. She didn't want that to change and she was glad he wasn't trying to hold back. "The last thing you need to do is apologize," Mila murmured. "You're allowed to be tired and upset. What happened is horrible and I know you're scared." She brought her hands up to cup his face. "We'll figure it out, okay? Right now we just need to breathe, and I think you need to try and get some sleep."
He nodded, knowing she was right. Aaron still felt small and sad and a little pathetic, but that was just his lifelong training talking. Maybe it was ironic, but he was sure his father would be laughing at him right then for being upset about what happened. A real man could’ve buried his father with no problem. Caden wasn’t being a fucking pussy about it, why was he? Aaron could practically hear it now. He tried not to, tried to focus on Mila and her soft love instead. That was what he needed, not a mental tongue-lashing from a fresh ghost. With a tired sort of foresight, Aaron knew that ghost would be talking to him for a long time. He brushed his hands over Mila’s raised arms and nodded again. “Just gonna finish washing up,” he murmured. “Will you get my back?”
Mila knew Aaron's feelings about his father were confusing and difficult, and his death would only twist and confuse them further. There was nothing Mila could do about that but be there for him while he tried to work it out. Grief could be such a complicated emotion. Mila didn't doubt that having to bury the body only made things worse. When he asked if she could wash his back Mila nodded and reached for the soap. "Turn around," she murmured. After pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades, Mila began to run the soap over his skin, making sure to hit every inch that she could. She didn't want any physical reminders of this night to linger.
There were already a lot of complicated emotions swirling around, and Aaron was sure there would be more to come. Guilt, horror, grief mixed with relief -- he didn’t know what to feel. Luckily the little crying fit had purged enough emotion that he was feeling kind of numb now. Aaron was fine with that. He just wanted to sleep, like Mila suggested. He washed the rest of him, mechanical but thorough, wanting to get as clean as he possibly could before he climbed into bed with her. Aaron twisted the shower off when they were done and got out with her, toweling off before he left the bathroom to crawl into the bed. The sheets were cool and smelled faintly like bleach and the bodily relief Aaron felt as he settled in was profound. God, he was tired. “You can stay up if you want,” he murmured vaguely in Mila’s direction. “Nothing’s gonna keep me awake.”
Mila had packed a few things to sleep in when she left the house earlier. After pulling on a t-shirt, she slipped into bed beside Aaron and kept her phone on the nightstand. She could text Roxy again after Aaron fell asleep. "I'll be fine," she told him. "Just sleep." Based on physical exhaustion alone she had no doubt Aaron would fall asleep without issue. But nightmares could be a bitch and Mila wanted to be there for him should they happen. Then again, maybe he would be blessed with dreamless sleep. Reaching over, Mila brushed her hand over his hair softly. "I'll be here."
Mila was there. Aaron tried to cling to that thought as his eyelids grew heavier and heavier and his body seemed to sink deeper into the mattress. He looked at her for as long as he could keep his eyes open, one big hand resting against her. He didn’t want to stop touching her while he slept. It was comforting to have her there in the first place, but something about how she’d been through so many of her own nightmares made it even more so. Mila had survived Hell, Aaron could survive this. “I love you,” he whispered to her. Those three little words paled in comparison to how he really felt, but he knew Mila knew that. Finally, Aaron shut his eyes and let the weariness drag him into sleep.