Roxy Muñoz (sticksandrox) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2020-05-21 08:03:00 |
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Entry tags: | #january 2018, caden, caden x roxy, roxy |
Who: Caden and Roxy
When: Evening, Tuesday, January 23rd
Where: Home at Seaview
Status: complete
After parting ways with Aaron, Caden drove back home to Seaview, feeling numb and probably slightly shell-shocked. His hands hurt from trying to break frozen ground. He was still exhausted and was grateful he didn’t drive his truck off the ride on the way back. Every inch of his body hurt, his bones felt heavy. He wanted a bottle of Jack and his bed. Gavin was still at the hospital with Amelia, who was apparently just as bad, if not worse off, than their mother. Something was happening in town, but Caden had no idea if it was connected to Jasper’s demeanor or not.
And he couldn’t ask Gavin. As far as Caden knew, Gavin had no idea where Jasper was. Maybe with his girlfriend. Except no, they broke up. Hell, maybe Jasper bashed her face in too. The thought made Caden feel insanely nauseous, but he managed not to vomit in his truck. He and Aaron had decided not to tell Gavin what had happened to Joseph. What Jasper had done. Maybe Jasper would show up and tell his dad himself, or worse, but Caden had a feeling that Jasper wouldn’t be going home anytime soon. If he and Aaron took this shit to the death, then so be it.
When Caden got home he stumbled into the house and sunk down onto the couch, one arm flung over his face as he tried to breathe through all of the bullshit weighing on him. His dad was dead. Not only dead, but brutally murdered. By his own grandson. Caden wasn’t entirely sure he’d been able to process what he watched happen. And fuck, he didn’t want to process that shit. He wanted to ignore it.
Maybe he would be able to forget if he closed his eyes and slept. Who knew when he’d wake up. Maybe never.
He had blood on his clothes. Under his short nails. Mud and slush from being out in the woods with Aaron. He’d have to take a shower. Burn his clothes. Burn the evidence. They had gotten the carpet clean as best they could but Caden planned on replacing the carpet as soon as he had the energy to do so again. He’d have to do it before his mom was released from the hospital and went home. There was so much to do and he could barely move his body. Caden inhaled deeply and rubbed his hands over his face. There was a lot of shit coming down the pike. That much he knew for sure.
Roxy had had an opening shift, and it had not been an easy day. Aaron was off, Caden was off, Gavin had been all but useless and then he’d left early. She and Miles could handle the Porch on a normal day by themselves, but it hadn’t been a very normal day. The whole vibe had been off, with people either dozing off into their beers or starting fights over the pettiest bullshit. Five fights on her shift, Roxy didn’t think that had ever happened before. Finally she’d gotten to go home, and she’d rarely been as grateful to go home as she was early evening.
She’d drawn a hot bath pretty quickly after she’d peeled off her clothes. Caden wasn’t home, but part of her was kind of glad for the solitude for a while. He came and went as he pleased anyway, why should today be any different? She was lying back with a hot washcloth over her eyes when she heard him come home. Roxy didn’t move for several minutes, expecting to hear his heavy steps down the hall to the bathroom. He usually at least said hi to her when he got back, especially if she was naked. Roxy hesitated, then sat up, listening to the quiet. “Caden?” she called, hitting the lever to start draining the tub.
The voice startled Caden and he lifted his hand from his face before realizing it was Roxy. She must have been in the bathroom. Shit. He needed to shower, get rid of his clothes. On his way home he'd had no intention of telling her what happened. But now that he knew she was there, there would be no way he could get this past her. She hadn't pushed about the loss of his fingers, but this... Caden wasn't sure he had the energy to lie. And maybe he needed someone else to know, someone to support him, if such a thing was possible.
He knew he ought to get up and go greet her, but the thought of moving off the couch only made him groan. Instead he sat up the best he could, resting back against the sofa. "Yeah." His voice was barely a hoarse whisper. He cleared his throat and tried again, louder this time so she could hear him. "Yeah, I'm here."
Roxy could barely hear him, which was odd. Caden didn’t generally say a lot, but his voice carried when he did. She got up and out of the tub and dried off a bit before she slipped into the short robe she kept hanging in the bathroom. Roxy wrapped her hair up in a towel turban and padded out toward the living room. “Hey babe, did you eat wh--” Roxy stopped short when she laid eyes on Caden on the couch. “Ohmygod,” she said, her expression shifting through a few different phases as she took in how filthy he was and how completely worn out he looked. “Holy shit, are you okay? Is that blood?” She hurried over to his side, looking him over for injuries, but there was nothing immediately obvious.
Caden was a bit overcome by how thankful he was for her presence. She couldn’t fix anything that happened but she would listen. And Caden knew Roxy wouldn’t hate him for any of it. She wouldn’t turn him in. She wouldn’t tell Gavin. He wanted to lean over and hug her, wrap his arms around her waist and feel her hands in his short hair. But he could barely move and he was filthy. She had just gotten out of the bath so the last thing she needed was to have him dirty her up again. “It’s not my blood,” he muttered, lifting his hands to look at them. “There’s something happening. Amelia’s in the hospital. Ma... Aaron had to take her too. I feel it too. Just... so tired, Rox. Are you okay?” She looked tired too, but she was up and moving. That was something.
The blood not being Caden’s was just as worrisome as otherwise, in a completely different way. There was a lot of it, on his clothes, his hands, his arms. Roxy knelt down in front of him, her hands up in a hesitant way like she wasn’t sure where to touch him or if she should. Her eyes widened as he spoke, and the sick beating in her chest sped up. “Ohmygod,” she said again. “In the hospital? Why? I mean ... yeah I’m tired, but I’m okay ...” Roxy had felt some of the extra pressure of fatigue that had been increasing over the past couple of days, but she had just been chalking it up to normal tiredness. Maybe hormones. She couldn’t seem to care about it much. Caden looked like he could barely hold his head up though, and that was worrisome. “What’s happening, are they sick or something?”
That made Caden feel a bit better. Roxy didn't look like she was about to fall over. The last thing they needed was more family holed up in the hospital for reasons unknown. "Don't think anyone knows," Caden said. "When I got to mom's house, she was barely breathing on the couch, but it didn't look like the old man had done anything to her. The hospital called earlier and said she was stable but they're running tests. Maybe it's the flu? I don't fuckin' know. Whatever it is, Amelia's got it too. Gavin's still at the hospital." He scrubbed his hand along his jaw, feeling some dried blood in his facial hair. How the fuck had it gotten there? Then he sat up a bit and looked up at Roxy, his eyes bleary. "I gotta tell you what happened. But if I do, then you're part of it. I need to know you're okay with that. If not, just say so and I'll shut up."
Everything he said first would’ve been enough cause for worry -- vulnerable family members in the hospital, mysterious causes -- but none of that should’ve resulted in mud-caked and blood-stained Caden, so it was hard to give that priority in her mind. Caden’s warning made Roxy’s hands feel icy and her stomach drop low in her gut. She could see in his tired eyes that what was coming was Bad News. Surely illegal news, but that wasn’t always bad for the family. This was, she could feel it. Roxy only gave a half-second’s thought to saying no, she didn’t want to know ... because she did, plausible deniability be damned. She got the sense that Caden needed her, and how could she turn that away? “Tell me,” she said quietly, watching his eyes. Roxy reached for one of his filthy hands and took it in both of hers.
Caden wouldn't have blamed her if she had said no. He would have respected that and kept this to himself. It wouldn't have been the first secret he kept from Roxy. There were just some things she was better off not knowing. But this was so much worse than all of those other things. Worse than the knowledge that he assaulted another woman and had his fingers snapped clean off because of it. Worse than what he and Gavin had done to Mila and Aaron. Well, maybe not worse than that, because Mila hadn't deserved that. Caden knew that now. But Joseph? Maybe he hadn't deserved to have his face beaten in, but he'd deserved death. His fingers curled around Roxy's hand. This was something he needed to tell her if he wanted to maintain his sanity. "Something's wrong with Jasper. Don't ask me what, 'cause I don't know. But he was with me at the house. He and dad got into it and the next thing I know, Jasper's using an ashtray to bludgeon the old man. Joseph's dead. Jasper killed him."
Jasper wasn’t where Roxy had expected him to start, and her brow furrowed with confusion for a second before her eyes got round as saucers. One of Roxy’s hands moved to cover her mouth as she tried to process that news. She’d seen Jasper grow up a lot, and he’d turned into a tough man just like his father and uncles, but murder? Of someone in his own fucking family? “Jasper?” she repeated, dropping her hand to squeeze Caden’s again. Roxy had heard him just fine, she was just trying to process it. “Oh my God, Caden, that’s ... that’s so awful,” she went on, anxiously looking him over again. “And you’re all right? He didn’t come after you too?” He was obviously exhausted and maybe sick, but she wanted to make sure again that he wasn’t injured and in need of a hospital himself.
"I'm fine. He didn't do anything to me." At least not that Caden knew of. The fact that Caden's energy had started waning as soon as he picked up Jasper was something he had been thinking about all day but he had no idea what any of that meant. Joseph had seemed fine, even though his mom hadn't been. "He left after it was over. I don't know where he went but I checked in with Gavin to make sure he and Amelia were okay. There's some shit going on with Jasper, I can't do anything about it now. I'm just... so fucking tired. Me and Aaron buried dad as best we could. I don't know what's going to happen now. I can't even think about it." Caden leaned back against the sofa again, closing his eyes. "Just need to make sure the doors are locked, yeah? I've got my gun if I need to use it." Caden didn't think Jasper would come around. At least he sure as shit hoped not because Caden didn't want to have to shoot his nephew.
So Aaron was involved too, and Bridget had gone to the hospital, Gavin and Amelia were okay ... Roxy felt like she should be throwing on clothes and rushing somewhere, but she had no idea how she could help, now. Besides maybe staying awake to watch over Caden, just in case Jasper decided to take care of the witnesses. Fuck, what a disturbing thought. Part of her wanted to call Mila immediately, but she knew she had to keep her mouth tightly shut about all of this. Caden had trusted her with it, and whatever ended up happening, she would stand by him. He looked like he was fading fast to Roxy, and that gave her another little jolt of panic. “Okay, um,” she started, sitting up straighter and giving Caden a gentle nudge. “Don’t fall asleep here, okay? We have to get you clean and these clothes off and hidden until we can burn them. Can you make it to the shower? I’ll help you if you need it ...” She would check the doors and make sure the firearms in the house were loaded, but she needed to take care of Caden too. For one thing, he was getting evidence all over the couch.
It wasn't funny in the least, but hearing Roxy listing off all of the things they needed to do made him bark out a soft laugh. She was his woman, through and through. "Yeah, we gotta burn 'em." He opened his eyes and reached for her so he could get to his feet. Maybe he could just drown himself in the shower and not have to deal with this shit anymore. "We're not going to tell Gavin. Jasper might, but I doubt it. We can't tell him. It's just us." Probably Mila too, because Caden knew his brother well enough to know he'd tell his woman. "I'm sorry, Rox. I really fucked this up. I couldn't stop it. We're all going to be fucked if someone finds out."
The Lucases didn’t make all of their money legally, and Roxy knew that even if she wasn’t privy to all the details all the time, so she thought about things like that often enough. They’d never covered up a murder before, but she liked to watch true crime shows, so she knew a few things. Roxy took Caden’s hands to help him to his feet, then put an arm around him to walk with him back toward the hallway. She was going to get dirty again anyway, so whatever. God, he smelled terrible in a way she’d never smelled before -- Roxy was sure it was all the blood. “Just us,” she agreed quietly, then shook her head a bit. “Don’t. You did all you could, I’m sure. Don’t apologize. It’s done now, we’ll just deal with it best we can.” She almost told him she was sorry that he had to watch his father die so horrifically and then clean up after it, but Roxy couldn’t say it yet. Joseph had deserved a taste of the suffering he always inflicted on others, but ... like that? Jesus Christ.
Did he do all he could do? He'd tried, but Jasper had pushed him off so easily. Caden might have felt more emotional about it all if he had the energy for it. Maybe he would process this all later and deal with it however he needed to deal with it. But right now he just wanted a hot shower and his bed. With any luck he wouldn't dream. "We'll burn the clothes tomorrow," Caden murmured. "Gotta make sure Aaron gets rid of his clothes too. Maybe call Mila later and make sure he's okay." Fuck, he was pissed off at his old man. For so many things. "So sorry, Rox," he said again, despite the fact that she told him not to apologize. "You shouldn't have to deal with all of this shit."
God, Aaron had been there too, and he was so much more sensitive than Caden. Roxy was sure that Mila was taking care of him now. She didn’t expect him to come back for the night, that was for sure. “Yeah, well, neither should you,” she murmured as she guided them into the bathroom. “But I love you, so that’s what I’m here for.” Roxy grabbed a towel off the rack and tossed it down on the floor to toss Caden’s clothes onto until she got a trash bag for them. First she knelt down to unlace his boots and get them off his feet -- those would have to go too, unfortunately. That done, she stood up again to help him peel his shirt off. It was all still sinking in. Joseph was dead. Murdered by his own grandson. It was horrific, but something about it was so fitting at the same time. What was Gavin going to think? How were they going to explain this? Her throat felt tight all of the sudden and Roxy paused, cupping Caden’s jaw in both hands just to look at him for a second. “I’m sorry this happened, baby,” she whispered. She gave him a soft kiss, then let go to start getting his jeans undone, aware of how much Caden hated being vulnerable.
Caden did hate being vulnerable and if he'd had the energy for it he would have been doing this all on his own. Undressing, getting rid of his clothes, showering. A tiny part of him was worried he might die. Maybe he would go to sleep and never wake up. But as long as he was moving and somewhat focused, Caden felt like he would be okay. He murmured incoherently to her, helping her the best he could to get his filthy clothes off. They smelled like death. Did he smell like death too? Would that stench ever go away? "I just wanna shower," he muttered. "I want to forget any of this happened. Did you lock the door?" The thought came to him belatedly and he couldn't remember if he had asked her to do it already. He wasn't afraid of Jasper. Or he wouldn't have been if he had any real strength. But it was better to be safe than sorry.
“Not yet,” Roxy said as she squatted again to get his pants and boxers all the way off. When he was finally naked, Roxy stood up again. “I’ll go do that now. And get a trash bag. Get on in, I’ll be back in a minute to help you wash, okay?” She passed a soft hand down his upper arm as she moved past him to the door. Roxy was fairly certain Caden could get the water running and get into the shower on his own, that didn’t require a ton of moving around. She hurried to check and lock all the doors and make sure all the blinds were closed, then grabbed one of the big black trash bags from the kitchen and brought it back to the bathroom.
Caden thought about just finding the bed and passing out, but the smell lingering from the day got him moving. He groaned and got the shower running, turning the hot tap on full blast. He had a high threshold for pain, so he didn't mind the scalding hot water that beat down on his body when he stepped into the shower. His jaw clenched and he hoped the heat would wash away not only the smell, but the restless, itchy feeling beneath his skin. Caden ducked his head into the water to get his hair wet, enjoying how the bathroom had already begun to fill with steam. What a goddamn mess this day had been. Couldn't their family ever catch a fucking break? Caden's skin was pink when he reached for the soap. Roxy said she'd help him wash but she was doing enough already. He'd rather her lock the doors and get his gun. He was afraid if something happened in the middle of the night he wouldn't be able to protect her. But his gun could.
Nothing had seemed amiss in the house, and it was locked up tight now, so Roxy wasn’t afraid. Except for Caden’s sake. She shook out the trash bag and stuffed Caden’s discarded clothes into them, tucking the towel in on top of all of it. Roxy tied the bag off and took it into the bedroom. It was probably overly paranoid of her, but she didn’t feel better until she’d buried the bag into the deep recesses of the closet and piled some junk on top of it. That would do until the next day when they could get rid of it for good. Roxy went back to the bathroom and pulled the shower curtain back a bit so she could peek in on Caden. A few drops of the water hit her skin and she frowned a bit over how hot it was. “Doing okay?” she asked him. “Need any help, or do you want space?”
Caden managed to wash most of his body and he was on the second lather now. That smell had gotten into his nostrils and he couldn't get rid of it. To his credit he didn't jump when Roxy appeared, but that may have been because he was too tired to be scared. "I'm fine," Caden told her. "Just give me a few minutes, okay? Just gonna stand in here for a bit." The heat was helping some of the tension in his muscles, at least. And as much as he wanted Roxy around, Caden just felt like he needed some space for a bit. He had been with Jasper, and then his dad's corpse, and Aaron and... he just needed to be alone. He knew Roxy would understand. It wasn't like solitude was unusual for Caden.
Roxy did really want to climb in there with him, to cling and comfort and take care of him. But that wasn't what he wanted, so it would hurt more than it would help if she tried to force it. “Okay,” she said, letting her gaze linger on him for another second or two. “I’ll just be in the bedroom if you need anything.” She slid the curtain closed again and left the bathroom, leaving the door cracked. Roxy walked to the kitchen first and went straight to the liquor cabinet. Her hands shook a tiny bit as she pulled a glass down and sloshed some whiskey into it. The hard liquor was usually Caden’s domain, while Roxy drank her fair share of wine, but tonight she felt like she needed several drinks. He probably did too, so Roxy grabbed another short glass and brought the bottle with her to the bedroom. Once she’d set up the weapons, she pulled the covers on the bed down and slipped her legs under them while she fretted and listened to the shower run.
Caden was thankful that she didn't push it. He didn't have it in him to fight with her tonight. Once he was alone he pushed his palms against the shower wall and lowered his head, letting the water burn his skin for as long as he could stand it. His dad was dead. It still felt so surreal to him, like he was living in a dream. A nightmare. He worried about his mom and Jasper. He worried about Aaron, and what Gavin would do when he found out. They would just have to try and make sure he never did. That was all dependent on Jasper though and Caden had no idea where his nephew was.
Finally the water started to cool and Caden climbed out of the shower, drying himself off with slow, lethargic movements. He barely managed to hang the towel back up before he padded back into the bedroom. It was January but the house was warm and he was going to climb into bed and sleep naked. Roxy was already there waiting and Caden slipped into bed, trying not to sigh with how damn good it felt. "Lock the door?" he murmured, rolling onto his side and reached out to her with one arm.
Roxy had gone through another glass of whiskey by the time Caden came back, and she was starting to feel the comforting blanket of intoxication weighing down her limbs. Maybe it was stupid to get buzzed while there was a possibility of an unwelcome visitor hanging over their heads, but she felt like she needed it to stay steady and not just stress-cry all night. Roxy didn’t expect to be mourning for Joseph Lucas for even a second, but Jesus Christ, couldn’t this family get a couple of months of peace? Roxy shed her robe and scooted in closer to Caden when he reached for her. “We’re all locked up tight, got a gun on each nightstand,” she murmured back, stroking her hand gently over the side of his face. “You want a shot or two to help you sleep?”
That was good. And Roxy knew how to use a gun, so that was even better. Caden couldn't be sure he would even wake up if someone tried to get into the house. He barely heard her offer of liquor and while his nerves reached out for it in his mind, needing that soothing numbness, Caden found he would much rather sleep. "Nah. Don't think I'll have much trouble tonight." Maybe he would have nightmares, but it was what it was. He slid his arm over Roxy instead and closed his eyes. Caden wasn't a praying man and he didn't believe in any kind of god, but he threw up the hope to some kind of cosmic force that he would wake up and find today hadn't really happened, that it had been in his head somehow. That kind of wishful thinking was fruitless in this town, but right now it was all he had.