Ty Solomon (shadowbadge) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2020-05-17 20:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | #january 2018, jared, jared x ty, ty |
Who: Jared and Ty
When: Wednesday, late afternoon 01/24
Where: Ty’s place
Status: complete
It had been a quiet, lovely day so far. Ty had woken up feeling good in a zen sort of way, like something in him was finally at peace. Things were how they ought to be, and a beautiful change was coming. He was one of the pioneers who would be greatly rewarded for mapping the territory for those who were coming. He could feel it, he knew it, just as he knew the names of those who would try to get in their way. They didn’t matter anymore, they were as insignificant as ants.
Ty didn’t know exactly what was to come, but he knew it would be different. There was still a little bit of time though, so he wanted to properly see off his old life. He’d decided as soon as he’d woken up that today was a day just for him and Jared. Both of their phones had rung and rung and rung early in the morning, but Ty hadn’t answered. Eventually the buzzing had gotten annoying, so he’d just turned both of them off and left them in the kitchen. They didn’t have to worry about work today, or ever again. Whatever was going on outside of his apartment walls didn’t matter. Well, except for the fog, which had delighted Ty to see. He’d gone outside several times just to stand in it. Gods, he couldn’t wait for it to envelop everything, like a blanket of perfection.
After another trip out into the parking lot to enjoy it, he came back inside. He was smiling as he took off his coat and shoes, and rubbed his hands vigorously together as he headed toward the master bedroom. It was after two in the afternoon, but Jared was still in bed, as he had been all day, and the night before. Ty had spent all night plastered to his back, big-spooning him and sleeping peacefully as his new inner being slowly fed on the energy left inside Jared. It was that position that Ty took again, crawling up onto the bed and settling on his side behind his big boyfriend. He propped his head up on one hand and slowly stroked the fingers of the other through Jared’s hair. “Are you awake?” he asked softly, even as he felt that sweet little tingle begin in his palm.
Jared made a soft sound in reply, not quite a word but enough to be an acknowledgement that he was awake. Awake enough to understand the question at least, awake enough to try to reply. He didn't really feel like he was though, like his body was asleep and his mind was right behind it, longing to follow. In a strange way he thought this was what dying might feel like if there was no pain, the spirit leaving the body, his energy fading. He didn't really care, it didn't even make sense to him that maybe he should care. He just wanted to close his eyes and drift like he had been for a while now. Time didn't mean much, it never did when he slept, it just passed, chaotic and varying in speed so he had no idea what day it was or even what time of day it was. It always felt nice to have his hair stroked or his neck scratched but right now it also felt heavy, like Ty was pressing his palm down on his head, pushing him deeper into the mattress. "Hey baby," he whispered, though it was barely audible or articulate when his lips refused to move much.
The endearment made Ty smile. Even as Ty was drawing out his vitality, Jared still loved him. That didn’t mean anything deeper to Ty than thinking it was adorable anymore, but it was what it was. If Jared was doomed anyway -- and he was -- wasn’t this a better way to go? Painless and gentle, and by someone who loved him? The tingle in Ty’s hand started to slide up his wrist and into his arm, and he felt a particular warmth come with it. He was pacing himself, not wanting to stress Jared out by taking from him too quickly. It was going to be a gentle slope into the grave, he deserved that relaxation. “Hey,” he whispered back, leaning more firmly against Jared so his mouth was closer to his ear. Ty kept stroking his hair and sipping from him. “We’ve had a good time, haven’t we? We got to have what most people never do. Will never do. I’m glad for it, aren’t you?” His tone was a bit dreamy. Ty nuzzled his nose against the curve of Jared’s ear.
This was a perfect way to die, Jared would agree, but not now, not so soon. He felt like he was falling asleep when he really didn't want to, struggling to keep his eyes open and understand what Ty was saying to him. Yes, they'd had a very good thing but Ty was talking like it was almost over, like he was leaving and Jared felt like he should be more afraid of that. The apathy he felt was almost painful by then, the vague knowledge that he should care and yet was unable to do just that. It was frightening in that same numb way everything else was."Ty," he whispered and that touch that should have felt so reassuring, even sexual, was heavy and too warm instead. He didn't know what he wanted to ask or say though, the words dying on his tongue as tears welled up in his eyes. Everything was off, wrong, every thought born slowly and painfully, foggy when it reached that part of his brain that was conscious. "So tired," he groaned. "Ty."
It was kind of amazing, how Ty could feel the shift in Jared’s mood. Everything was sluggish and muted now, but he could sense the distress underneath, like seeing a darker shadow move around at night time. Ty was vaguely glad that it was a muted emotion, that Jared wasn’t going to suffer. He wouldn’t have stopped if that weren’t the case, but he was still pleased that it was going quietly. “Shhh, I know,” Ty murmured with what sounded like sympathy. He shifted around a bit and gently pulled on Jared’s shoulder until he was rolled against Ty’s chest where he could see Jared’s face better. Aw, there were even tears, how sweet. “It’s okay,” he whispered, gazing at his man as he stroked his face. Jared’s eyes looked practically bruised with exhaustion, his bulk heavy and limp against Ty’s body. Not that he minded. “It’s all going to be okay, Jared, I promise. You’ll be free soon and nothing will hurt anymore. The world will be perfect, for the first time ever.” Ty smiled at him warmly.
Jared had never felt this exhausted in his life, not even when he was sick. He felt paralyzed and trying to get his thoughts straight was impossible at best. He felt like he needed to reason with Ty but he barely understood what he was saying. This was wrong but he barely understood what it should be instead. He tried to say his name again, like saying his name would snap him out of it but maybe it was a bad dream, he'd had plenty of those. A train would come barrelling through the wall and he'd wake up in cold sweat, Ty by his side, himself again. A part of him knew that wasn't the case and he felt like he even knew what was really going on, it was just buried under layers and layers of something else, blanketing his feelings and thoughts like ten feet of snow. The words Ty was saying were terrifying even if they sounded soothing and Jared knew he had to make an effort to wake the hell up and get moving. Instead he felt himself drifting again, his head resting against hard muscle, Ty's fingers ghosting over his face, almost tickling. You're not Ty, he wanted to say and the thought alone gave him chills, sparking his consciousness for a split second before it started waning again.
He was giving up, and that was good, that was right. Once Jared was fully gone, Ty could focus on other things, on helping usher in this new era. He could fully become what he was becoming and reach his full potential. It was too bad Jared couldn’t do it with him, but it was better this way. Ty gently thumbed Jared’s wet cheekbones, gazing down into those pretty brown eyes -- barely open and totally unfocused, but still pretty -- he’d loved so well once upon a time. It was kind of cute to him now, like looking back on schoolyard crushes. They’d barely known what the world was, but Ty Knew Things now. Things Jared could never understand. “It’s okay,” he repeated softly. “I’m here, I got you, babe. You can let go. I promise it won’t hurt.” Ty leaned down to press his lips to Jared’s forehead. It almost felt like drinking from a trickling mountain stream while he was so thirsty, only a little more erotic with the full-body tingle that followed. Straight from the source.
Jared believed him about the pain but that wasn't really his concern right now. He wasn't ready to go, even if it was painless and easy. He was only thirty-six, he wanted to remarry, get a dog, have kids - or adopt them - and show them the good in the world, honor Sadie's memory instead of joining her in death. He wanted to remind Ty of all of this but this wasn't Ty. It felt like him, it smelled like him and sounded like him but something else had taken over. Even if words could have helped, he couldn't get them out, could barely even grunt his displeasure as he felt more of his energy zapped away. He was going to die tonight, he was certain of that, and it made him realize with strange clarity that he wasn't scared of dying, he just didn't want to do it yet. He wanted to die when he was old, when his body was already failing, when he'd had a good run. Jared had not had a good run yet, he wasn't ready. So he didn't let go, whatever that meant. His body might be limp but his spirit was still fighting, desperate striving against the sinkhole he found himself in.
Maybe part of Ty wasn’t ready to let him go yet, but he didn’t want to drain him all at once. He’d been slowly feeding on him all day but giving him breaks in between, even if Jared wasn’t cognizant enough to appreciate them. It seemed more fitting to let him finish out his last day, then curl up with him to help him drift all the way off. Ty could make it quiet and nice, and he would give that to Jared. And then he would completely move on into whatever this new life was going to bring. He straightened up again and smiled, relishing that fresh feeling of energy. Ty patted Jared’s chest and nudged him back to how he’d been laying, then rolled away to get up. “Get some rest, babe,” he murmured absently, his attention wandering again. “I’ll check on you soon.” Without looking back, Ty slipped out of the room and down the hall. Maybe he would go stand in the fog again, or jerk off or something. It all felt good, so why not.