Jacob Keller (bodyonthetracks) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2020-01-11 03:28:00 |
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Entry tags: | #january 2018, connor, connor x jacob, jacob |
Who: Connor & Jacob
Where: Seaview
When: Thursday night 01/11
Status: Complete
Warning: NSFW
Jacob had felt completely useless for a couple of days now and he managed to feel guilty about it because he didn't have a fever or any symptoms of actually being sick except for feeling absolutely wrecked. It had started at Sage's house on Tuesday night and he'd been so tired when Connor picked him up the next day that he'd been slurring his words. He fell asleep in the car, then again as soon as they got home and Connor was very obviously worried about him. Jacob was worried too, mostly that Connor thought he was doing drugs or just being stupid somehow. It was a shitty feeling, worrying about letting Connor down but Jacob was honestly too tired to really think about it too much. By Thursday morning he felt a little better but he still felt weary. It wasn't even like he was tired, he couldn't accurately describe the feeling. His muscles just felt weak, his head was swimming and he felt vaguely depressed. Maybe that was it, depression or trauma belatedly hitting him after all that bullshit in the fog. God he hoped not, he hoped it was just some weird flu, physical crap was easier to deal with.
Connor went to work, but only after Jacob insisted that yes, he was fine by himself, he just wanted to sleep. And sleep, and sleep, and sleep. Connor made him promise he'd call if anything was wrong and Jacob promised, crossed his heart and fell asleep before the front door even closed behind Connor. He really hoped he'd wake up feeling better soon enough that he could get something done - housework, drawing, something useful but he woke up to the front door again, realizing the light was different and that he really needed to pee. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he groaned quietly, fumbling around to find his phone to check the time. Seven pm. It made his stomach drop and he sat up in time to give Connor an awkward apologetic smile as he entered the room.
Connor had managed not to fret the entire time he was working that his boy was getting sick, but it had popped in and out of the back of his mind throughout his shift. Jacob had seemed run down for the past couple of days, and that was usually a sure sign of an impending cold or flu, but Jacob didn’t seem to be getting any worse. Which was a good thing in general, but the continuing fatigue worried Connor a bit. Work kept his mind busy though, and he’d made Jacob promise to call him if he started feeling worse, and his phone didn’t go off all day, so Connor took that as a good sign.
Once he was off, he picked up some food at Dino’s for them on the way home. He’d thought about texting Jacob to let him know he was coming, but second-guessed himself, thinking the boy might be having a nap or something. That seemed to be the case, he thought as he stepped into the foyer. The living room was empty, everything was quiet, and there weren’t many lights on. Connor set the food down on the coffee table and shed his coat before heading back toward the bedroom. “Hey there,” he murmured as he eyed Jacob still in bed. He was undressed enough to make Connor think he’d never actually gotten up. Connor approached and sat on the edge of the mattress. “How you feelin’?”
Jacob felt better, a little less lethargic now as if he'd really needed those hours upon hours of sleep but he felt worse in that he'd slept all damn day and not done a thing. "Kinda stupid," he admitted. "I can't believe it's seven pm." He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and ran his fingers through his unruly hair, silently berating himself for being so useless. "Sorry," he mumbled then. "I was gonna do the dishes at least." It made him almost wish he was properly sick, throwing up or coughing or something. Right now he just felt lazy. Feeling weirdly sleepy all the time wasn't a great excuse and it only stressed the ever present fear that Connor would get sick of him.
Connor ignored the apology for the moment, reaching out to put the back of his hand against Jacob’s forehead. He didn’t feel feverish, just a little warm from being snuggled up in bed, so that was something. This fatigue was a bit worrisome though. “How are you feeling physically?” he asked, which was what he’d meant in the first place. His chore rules took a backseat to Jacob’s health, of course, and he was far from sick of him, just concerned. Without waiting for the answer, Connor started feeling the sides of Jacob’s neck, under his jaw, to check his lymph nodes.
Jacob couldn't help but smile a little as Connor checked him over. He always managed to make Jacob feel loved and cared for, both in and outside of sex. "A little better," he said softly, his smile turning just a little cheeky despite still looking tired as he added, "-Doctor." Nothing felt sore so it just felt nice to have Connor's hands on him and Jacob leaned into the touch a little. "A little lethargic but not as bad anymore," he said a little more seriously since he knew Connor wasn't just playing doctor right now, he looked legitimately worried.
That was a more thorough answer and a good one, all things considered. If Jacob was improving, that was a good sign. They would just have to keep an eye on that energy level, since it could be indicative of a number of issues. Connor quirked a tiny smile at the formal title and slid one hand around to massage the back of Jacob’s neck a bit. “Good,” he murmured, telling himself to relax. Having a few tired days in the middle of winter wasn’t a huge crisis, it happened to a lot of people. Connor thought he might pick up some vitamin D to bring home though, it couldn’t hurt. He leaned forward to kiss Jacob’s forehead. “I brought dinner home. You should drink water with it, you probably need to re-hydrate if you slept all day. Hungry?”
Jacob was hungry and he also really needed to pee and those were the only reasons that little massage didn't reduce him to the pliant pile of goo it usually did. It still made him feel a little wonky - in a good way - and his smile got just a touch dopier as he nodded. "Need the bathroom too," he murmured and moved the covers aside so he could start sluggishly moving off the bed. "How are you? Did you have an okay day?" he asked belatedly, making a note to brush his teeth while he was in the bathroom because he was going to want to kiss Connor soon and he wanted Connor to actually want to kiss him back.
“Yeah, it was pretty good,” Connor told him with a small smile. He patted Jacob’s bare ass, then moved out of the way so he had room to get up and shuffled toward the bedroom door. “So I’m doing fine.” It was true for the most part, he was just still a bit concerned about Jacob being okay. That was going to linger until his boy was feeling 100% again. “I’ll set the food out, just come on out when you’re ready.” Connor slipped out the door and went to do that so Jacob could have some privacy in the master bathroom. He stripped off his shoes and outer layers, then unpacked the food bag -- pasta for both of them -- and made sure to set down a big glass of water next to Jacob’s. Connor settled on the couch and picked up the remote so they could have some background noise, ready to just settle in for the evening.
Jacob tried not to take too long but he could feel how much he was dragging his feet. Everything just felt harder, even now and he was self aware to suspect at least part of this was depression or something. He felt a little better after he brushed his teeth and after slipping on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, he joined Connor in the living room. It was stupidly tempting to crawl up on the couch and rest his head on Connor's lap and just stay there for a while but he was hungry too and he didn't want to be super boring. He sat down close to Connor though, leaning against him for the brief physical contact of an arm to arm touch, then reached for his plate. "I feel better," he promised. "I should be okay tomorrow." He hoped so at least because this sucked and it wasn't like he didn't feel useless enough already without spending all his time asleep.
Connor returned the lean-pressure while it was there, then reached for his own plate and sat back with Jacob. “I’m glad you feel better,” he said, reaching over briefly to give Jacob’s thigh a gentle squeeze. “But if you need to rest some more, do it, okay? Don’t strain yourself on my account.” He eyed his boy’s profile for a moment, hoping he understood that all of their ‘rules’ came second to Jacob’s health and happiness. If he was getting sick, Connor didn’t want him to stress himself out about not having the dishes done or walking into the bedroom with clothes on or anything like that. He was reasonable, above all. Connor leaned over again to kiss the top of Jacob’s shoulder. “And let me know if you need anything.”
That would have been a perfect segue into talking about possibly moving but Jacob was already fighting off the feeling that Connor was more than he deserved so asking for something that big seemed impossible and kind of stupid. He needed to swallow down that feeling before it grew and ruined everything that was good in his life so he focused on Connor, watching him for a moment just to study his face and take in how handsome he was. Which just made him feel more undeserving but oh fucking well. Maybe that was okay, Connor wanted what he wanted, Jacob's feelings wouldn't affect that one way or another so why beat himself up about it? "So when I feel better," he murmured. "Is there anything special you want me to do? Something you need help with?"
Connor had taken a couple of bites of food during the pause, and his brows lifted as he glanced over at Jacob. He seemed like he needed a task, or a project or something, so Connor didn’t want to brush Jacob off with a ‘nothing’ or tell him that he was fine. He was, more or less, but a sub needed to be needed. Most people did. He gave a thoughtful hum and chewed his food for a moment, considering. Connor met Jacob’s eyes again and tilted a tiny half-smile that was a little unsure. “If it’s not snowing its ass off this weekend, I could use a hand at my parents’ place. You don’t have to,” he added quickly. “It’s not fun work. But ...” He shrugged. “Otherwise, you’re doing great as it is.”
That felt like a huge thing to ask for, not in that it was a task too big for Jacob but in the level of trust it took to take him along. Connor had told Jacob about his parents and their hoarding problem and Jacob honestly wasn't sure what to expect, just that it was going to be bad and the whole situation was troubling for Connor. "Of course," he said earnestly. "Whatever you need." It made him feel a little better, even if it might end up being a very daunting task. Connor had asked and Jacob was a big enough part of his life that he let him get involved in this too. He finally started eating, realizing as soon as he did just how hungry he really was.
It was a lot to ask for on several different levels, and even though Jacob’s response was positive, Connor was still kind of nervous about it. It was his parents’ mess, not his, but it was a big and gross enough mess to make him worry about it driving Jacob away. Even though he hadn’t made it, he still had to deal with it, and it was A Lot. But Connor was old enough and experienced enough to know that showing that sort of vulnerability would only encourage their relationship to grow. The problem itself might push Jacob away, but at least it would do so with Connor being open about it. That sounded good in his head, anyway. For a while he just ate as well, until he was full enough to set his plate down again. Connor leaned back with a little groan and draped his arm around Jacob’s shoulders. “I’ve got an early short shift tomorrow,” he said, thumb rubbing against the fabric of his t-shirt. “Maybe after we can get out, do something.”
Jacob had finished his own food by then and gulped down some water so he snuggled in against Connor's side and tilted his head back to watch him. "I'd like that," he replied. There was still a part of him that he had to constantly smother that wanted to trail after Connor like a puppy wherever he went. Jacob understood why, he was just scared that there'd be another catastrophic event and if he was going to be stuck somewhere again, he wanted to at least be stuck there with Connor. Knowing and understanding the urge didn't really make it easier to smother it but it at least made him feel less stupid for having it. "Did you have anything special in mind?" he asked. Their options were a bit limited by the cold but there were still some fun things to do in town.
With Jacob settled in against him, Connor started slowly raking his fingers through the boy’s hair, and turned his face to kiss his forehead. One upside to working was that it got one out of the house; Jacob might have been enjoying the leisure time, but Connor wanted to make sure he didn’t go stir crazy. Winter was especially bad for cabin fever. “We could do a little shopping, maybe see what’s playing at The Orion ... if you feel like dressing up a bit, we could do dinner at The Boathouse ...?” he suggested thoughtfully, smiling a touch and looking down at Jacob. Connor still wasn’t sure exactly how Jacob felt about going out together as a couple in public, having dates and the like. There was part of Connor that was still cautious about it, just because of his career, but he thought if they kept it low key, things would be okay.
"I like the sound of all of those things," Jacob replied and now that he had some food in him and the physical closeness Connor was so good at giving, he did feel a whole lot better. It made him hopeful that tomorrow would be good, that he could get some stuff done before Connor got home and feel less useless as a result. He just knew that if he woke up feeling as tired as he was today, he'd be pissed off because he really wanted to spend quality time with Connor. He didn't have a whole lot of clothes that counted as classy but he could look presentable enough for the Boathouse and taking the time to dress up sounded good. "Are you okay with proper dates?" he asked then. They'd gone out before but so far he was always careful not to be too affectionate in public.
Connor hoped Jacob actually did like the sound of all those and wasn’t just being agreeable to make him happy. Though that could be seen as part of their kink from one angle, he really did want to do things that Jacob enjoyed too. That was the whole point when you got down to brass tacks, wasn’t it? Pleasing one another. Still petting Jacob, Connor gave a thoughtful hum. “I worried at first,” he murmured, wanting to be honest. “Small town, I’m a newcomer and a doctor, I’m sure my parents haven’t made any friends here ... and you’re so much younger than me. I didn’t want any patients to think I’m some kind of ... predator. You know how people are.” Connor gave him a regretful sort of glance, then his brow relaxed again. “But you know what? If they do ... fuck it. This isn’t a permanent gig, and I’ve been working the ER a lot, and those folks don’t care much who’s treating them. So yeah, let’s go on dates, enjoy ourselves. Life is fucking short.”
Jacob couldn't help the smile slowly growing on his face as Connor talked, he just loved hearing him say those things, 'fuck it' in particular. He was no stranger to people thinking Connor might be a predator, taking advantage, luring Jacob into a shady situation - his own friends were unsure about the whole thing and Jacob could only imagine how someone who didn't know him or care about him might see their relationship. "I'm not very popular in town," he reminded him. "So if you did want it on the down low for a smooth sailing I'd understand." He knew Connor didn't and he looked as happy about it as he felt. Given everything that had happened, public opinion just didn't seem as important. Who cared what someone was saying behind their backs when they could literally be chewed up by monsters. Life was short, they were going on a proper date.
Connor was aware of Jacob’s completely unfair social troubles, but they never really gave him pause. He felt like he knew the truth, and Jacob wasn’t any sort of murderer. He felt like he especially knew it now that he’d gotten a taste of the truth of the world. God only knew what had actually happened to Jacob’s friend way back then. “They can shove that opinion up their asses,” Connor told his boy before he grinned faintly. He shook his head. “Fuck the down low. We’ll do what we need to do, live our lives in the meantime, and then get the fuck out of this town.” He wasn’t generally so dismissive, always one to be thoughtful about his decisions, but that seemed like the best plan for the future now. This was a Bad Place, and he wanted to eventually put it in his rear view mirror for good.
Something lurched in Jacob's stomach and he wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing. Leaving Point Pleasant was always something he feared now that he'd met Connor, it was a steady fear that this whole relationship would fall apart as soon as they were back in Portland. Hearing Connor bring it up made him feel hopeful that maybe it wouldn't and feeling hopeful was usually a recipe for a gigantic let down. He let it wash over him anyway, a brief daydream about actually continuing this when everything here was over, about actually leaving Point Pleasant again, that this was a thing they could do. The urge to tell Connor he loved him rose in his chest and he swallowed it down swiftly. He'd already said it and it felt way too soon and crazy, even given the circumstances. Instead he pushed himself up a bit to sneak a kiss on Connor's cheek. "I like the sound of that," he murmured, but it felt like the words he really wanted to say were bubbling right there on the edge of what actually came out and he wondered if Connor could hear them.
Connor couldn’t hear them, exactly, but he could sense the emotion behind the words. It might be impossible to truly understand the level of emotion in another person, but Connor had a pretty good idea how Jacob felt about him. He knew he would probably need to be the one to say ‘I love you’ again first, some time when they weren’t in mortal danger, and he wasn’t taking that responsibility lightly. Relationships made one vulnerable, BDSM relationships even more so, and the last thing Connor wanted to do was break Jacob’s heart. He did love him, adored everything they were building so far, but he wanted to be sure it wasn’t a passing infatuation on either end. Something to cling to in a tumultuous time for both of them. So far he did see a future for them outside of Point Pleasant though, and that was a good sign. Connor just wanted to be careful and gentle with his fragile boy. “I’m glad,” he murmured back. He turned his head to brush his lips against Jacob’s, then kissed him properly, slow and soft.
Jacob would have scoffed at being called fragile but that didn't mean it wasn't true. He was fragile and insecure and while neither was particularly flattering, it was what it was. The fact that Connor hadn't gotten sick of him yet was a fact he desperately clung to - despite the 'yet' hanging over him like a bad omen. He wasn't stupid and he was aware that it was this fear and insecurity that was most likely to drive Connor away so he tried his best to smother it, or at least hide it away, but in the wake of everything that had happened it was hard not to be needy and worried. It was easier when when Connor was close. His presence was soothing in a way nothing else was and the kiss just amplified that feeling, making things go still and quiet in Jacob's mind in a way he so desperately needed. He leaned into it, letting it melt away whatever doubts and worries he felt, his fingers lightly caressing Connor's thigh, tugging at the fabric of his pants.
Connor had spent a long time being scared and insecure himself, he knew what it looked like and how torturous it could be inside. Life experience had eased a lot of it for him, but Jacob was barely started on that journey. Connor wanted to stay a good influence if he could, and always stay mindful and meet Jacob where he was on his path instead of try and force him to be where was most convenient for Connor. Patience was a part of that, and luckily he had it in spades at this point in his life. For most things, anyway. Physical acts could communicate even more than words sometimes, and Connor felt himself sinking into the kiss and all the emotion behind it. Knowing Jacob didn’t feel his best, he was good with keeping things gentle and low key, but his body still didn’t hesitate to react, warmth growing in his lower belly as his cock started to stiffen. Connor slowly caressed Jacob’s lips with his own, eyes closed, and one hand moved up to caress the side of Jacob’s jaw and neck before hooking fingers into his collar for a gentle tug.
It wasn't much but it still made something shift inside Jacob, like a key into a lock, clicking into place and turning. He loved that little reminder, the way the subtle chain felt against his skin. With a tug as gentle as that it was more like a reminder from Connor that he belonged to him and the thought alone had as much impact on his body as the kiss did. He was still tired but less so now, easing into a different mindset - a much nicer one - as he started feeling heady for different reasons, his body warming up and relaxing. He wanted to crawl up on Connor's lap, straddle him and kiss him with more fervor but he pulled back a little instead, just far and long enough to speak. "I want you," he whispered between kisses and there was a question there - or a request.
That was why Connor loved having a collared sub so much -- it worked on so many levels. He loved the purely tactile feel of the cool links against his fingers and Jacob’s warm skin on the other side of them. He also loved knowing it edged Jacob further into subspace and reminded him who he belonged to. Not to mention it just looked sexy as fuck when the boy was wearing nothing else. He hummed softly and cracked his eyes open at those words, a faint smile crossing his face. “I’m right here, so ... how do you want me, pet?” he murmured. Connor knew Jacob would do whatever he wanted him to do, but sometimes he liked to give the boy first pick on how they fooled around, just to test his mood. Not to mention, it was sexy to hear ‘I want you to do this to me.’
Jacob didn't often feel like he wanted to be in charge in any capacity, it was a nice feeling to give up control and be bossed around. He wasn't feeling particularly assertive but today he knew what he wanted, although he wasn't going to pout if Connor didn't give it to him. He felt a little weak when Connor called him pet, that endearment going straight to his cock it seemed and he smiled faintly before brushing his lips against Connor's again. Then he moved, slowly enough that Connor had ample time to stop him if he didn't like it but Jacob didn't think he would. He straddled his lap, resting his arms on Connor's shoulders as he tilted their foreheads together. "I want you to fuck me deep, face to face," he said quietly. He didn't need to be on top, but he wanted that intimacy today.
Connor struggled to imagine a time when he didn’t want Jacob on his lap, so he definitely didn’t stop him. He liked the closeness and the warm weight of his boy and all the body access he had from there with his hands free. He ran them down Jacob’s back, feeling the bumps and curves of his lithe body through his clothes, then grabbed his ass for a gentle squeeze. The request sent a lovely thrum of desire through him, and Connor’s cock flexed in his pants. A good deep eye-contact soul-fuck did sound pretty damn good, didn’t it? He gave a deep hum and kissed Jacob a little more before he answered. “I think I can handle that,” he murmured, quirking a tiny smile as he caressed Jacob’s body some more. “I love watching your face when you come.” Connor kissed him again.
The words only made Jacob a little self conscious and he grinned sheepishly and ran his fingers through Connor's hair as he kissed him back. He was mildly amused at the sudden realization that he didn't actually get to see Connor come very often. It wasn't only that he so often had his head pressed down into the mattress or was blindfolded, sometimes he was just so lost in his own space. They didn't often fuck face to face in general, but tonight he wanted to and Connor seemed to be on board so he made a note of actually watching him. "I like it when you make me come," he murmured against his lips, rolling his hips against him and pressing in closer.
It wasn’t that Connor had anything against face to face sex, quite the contrary. It was just easier to feel dominant without that added layer of intimacy. With most people, anyway. It was also easy to make a sub feel small by pushing his head down into the mattress, ass up in the air for Connor’s use. Staring into Jacob’s eyes as he filled him up to the hilt definitely appealed to him tonight though. The way Jacob moved against him drew a soft grunt out of Connor and he nipped lightly at the boy’s beautiful bottom lip. “You make the prettiest noises,” he whispered slowly. “Makes me wanna keep you tied up all day long, make you come over and over.” Connor kissed him deeply again.
Jacob made a soft sound at that, some feeling inside him trembling almost cold at the words before it turned hot and rushed to his cock. He wouldn't say no to that and if he did, he wouldn't want Connor to listen - that's what safewords were for. He definitely felt more awake now, heady in a completely different way and his boxers didn't do much to hide his growing erection from Connor. It pressed against his stomach and Jacob knew that if Connor wanted him to, he could come like this, just from the friction and the kissing and Connor's ever powerful words.
It was lovely to feel the way Jacob’s body responded to him, able to feel the warm heaviness of his erection even through layers of cotton. It was tantalizing, and Connor slipped one hand between them to tease his fingers over the length of it through Jacob’s boxers. Such a sensitive little pet, Connor fucking adored him. He spent a bit of time just kissing him, deep and thorough, and lightly tracing the lines and curves of Jacob’s cock through the soft material. The slit in the front of his boxers was tempting him with more access, but Connor held off. He broke the kiss finally to breathe and opened his eyes to look at his boy. “Let’s go to the bedroom then,” he murmured.
Jacob wished they could just fuck right there, on the couch with him on Connor's lap. He was worked up by now, touching Connor anywhere he could reach him though there was nothing frantic or rushed about it. If he wasn't so greedy for more he might have wanted to just stay where they were and keep doing what they were doing. Mutual masturbation could be nice, but he was too far gone for 'nice', he wanted more. He gave Connor a dopey little smile and nodded, stealing one more kiss before he shifted his weight off his lap and scooted backwards. He offered Connor his hand once he was up, even if he was a little unsteady on his feet, it was more a hunger for touch than anything else.
Connor watched him get up with open appreciation. He didn’t need the hand up but he folded his fingers over Jacob’s anyway as he stood. He had the vague thought that he needed to keep a stash of lube in the living room somewhere. Probably the kitchen too. And the bathroom. Really just anywhere it would be within reach throughout the whole house. Jacob was at his disposal all the time now, he wanted to take advantage of it. Connor walked with him toward the short bedroom hallway, then stopped them and pulled Jacob to face him. Holding onto his boy’s gaze, he reached down to take hold of his t-shirt and peel it up over his head. He wanted to unwrap his gift before he got him into the bedroom. The boxers went down next, and Connor took a moment just to look at his beautiful sub, aroused and needy and perfect.
Jacob had fully intended to strip before they entered the bedroom. Connor might be more lenient about that rule when he wasn't feeling well but he was feeling a lot better now and those rules were there for his pleasure as much as Connor's. This was much better though and he moved to accommodate Connor, lifting his arms and stepping out of his boxers. The whole being able to drown in someone's eyes was such a cliché but he felt it to his core tonight as he gazed back into Connor's eyes, torn between keeping the eye contact and breaking away in some weird bashful show of submission.
Connor didn’t take the locked eyes as challenging or defiant in any way; Jacob had beautiful eyes, and Connor liked to admire them. And the rest of him. He reached out to brush his fingertips down the front of Jacob’s body, veering them toward his hip instead of his cock. Then he touched the side of Jacob’s face with a little smile, took his hand again, and turned to lead the way into the bedroom proper. At the side of the bed, Connor let Jacob go to reach back and strip his shirt off of himself, but he left his pants on for the moment. He guided Jacob’s hand to the bulge in them as he drew in close to brush their lips together again. “Feel what you do to me?” he murmured softly. “I get hard so many times a day, just thinking about you.”
The mental image of Connor jerking off in his office flashed in Jacob's mind, like he wasn't aroused enough already, and he wanted to get those clothes out of the way and touch his cock without the fabric restricting his movements. It was solid and thick against his palm and he let his free hand sneak to Connor's side to touch the bare skin there. "I really want to visit you at work sometime," he whispered against his lips. "Take care of this for you in your office." It had become something of a persistent fantasy, kneeling under Connor's desk and worshiping his cock. It was a good fantasy too, somehow removed from his more desperate need to be near him all the damn time. His breath stuttered a little as he thought about it and he couldn't help but push in a little closer, rubbing his own cock against Connor's leg.
It happened to be a shared fantasy, even if Connor wasn’t sure he would ever have the balls to do it. People had visitors at the hospital sometimes, staff’s family stopped by, it was a semi-casual small-town environment. And Connor could always just close and lock his office door and take ‘lunch’ with Jacob, there were no cameras in there ... Hearing that his boy wanted it too made him want to go do it now. “I would love to have you under my desk for an hour,” he whispered, one hand slipping down toward Jacob’s cock. “Or five ... I could come check on you and do some paperwork every so often.” Connor wrapped his fingers around his boy’s hardon and gave it a tantalizing squeeze. He kissed him again, deep and hungry, then whispered, “Take my pants off,” against Jacob’s mouth.
Jacob kept his hand on Connor's cock as he moved his other hand to unbutton his pants, not wanting to let go just yet. He knew he wouldn't last long, not with the way Connor was making him all worked up already, but he wasn't trying to set any records. He just wanted to be close to Connor, bring him pleasure while he lost himself in his own. He pushed Connor's pants down along with his underwear, wrapping his fingers around the hard cock almost immediately, just to feel it in his hand before crouching down to do him a proper service. He set the clothes aside on the bed once Connor stepped out of them, then moved in close on his knees. He didn't touch or taste yet, looking up at Connor for permission first.
Connor moved his legs to be accommodating, a little smile crossing his face that Jacob made a point to put his clothes on the bed instead of leaving them puddled on the floor. Connor wouldn’t have minded if he had, but the extra bit of respect was nice. So was Jacob’s hand around his cock. More than nice. Connor slowly wet his lips as he gazed down at his boy on his knees. He could see Jacob’s erection jutting out between his thighs, still rock hard and eager, but patient at the same time. He’d wanted some face-to-face sex, and Connor was going to give it to him, but he looked too tantalizing on his knees to completely pass up this opportunity. Connor reached down to give his own cock a stroke or two, pushing his hips forward a bit to rub the tip of it against Jacob’s lips. “You can play with it,” he murmured softly. “Just for a minute.”
"Are you going to time me?" Jacob murmured with a mischievous little smile. Submission was fun, but that didn't mean he had to be dead serious all the time and he felt at ease enough with Connor to indulge in that tiny spark of sass that sometimes went off in him. He didn't wait for an answer, swiping slowly at Connor's cock with the tip of his tongue, his gaze still fixed on Connor's face as he let it slip between his lips. He wasn't sure he would have used the word 'play' for what he wanted to do but it sounded cute the way Connor said it; indulgent, as if he wasn't enjoying every second of it too.
Connor gave a deep chuckle -- he appreciated the sass, even when they weren’t playing around too much. That first touch of Jacob’s tongue wiped all amusement out of him real quick though, and his mouth went a bit slack as he looked down at his boy. “I ought to,” he murmured belatedly. “I know how greedy you get. And I do want to stretch you out around this cock.” He was still holding the base of it, and Connor gave it a little jiggle, enjoying the small vibration it caused against Jacob’s lips and tongue. God, he loved being looked up at like that, with those big blue bedroom eyes.
Jacob almost laughed at being called greedy but when it came to Connor's cock it was probably true. He hummed softly around the girth of him as he let him slide in deeper, teasing with his tongue as he gently stroked Connor's thighs with both hands. He closed his eyes only when his lips touched Connor's hand, preventing him from taking him deeper and it was a bit of a struggle not to reach down to stroke his own cock as it jutted up, eager and straining to find touch.
Jacob’s mouth was very familiar to him now, from sticking all kinds of appendages in there, but it never failed to feel incredible. Connor watched his cock disappear between those pretty lips and let out a soft hum, still holding on tight to himself for a second or two before he moved his thumb to slip it into Jacob’s mouth as well. He liked that the boy wasn’t taking any initiative to touch himself, that he would wait for permission before he gave himself any pleasure. He was focused on Connor, and that just made Connor’s insides squirm with lusty appreciation. “Fuck,” he whispered, drawing the word out. “That’s my boy, take it deep.” He moved his hand from his cock to the back of Jacob’s neck to grip and rub and encourage him.
Jacob was glad he was on his knees because he could feel them go weaker when Connor pushed his thumb in alongside his cock. It was assertive in a way that was deeply sexy to him and he made a soft little sound in the back of his throat, his own cock throbbing needily. Connor's words did nothing to lessen that feeling and he obeyed enthusiastically, taking him as deep as it would go, relaxing his throat against the reflex to gag. He slid one hand from Connor's hip to his balls, lightly caressing as he started bobbing his head in a slow rhythm, letting Connor's cock hit the back of his throat each time. It made his muscles flex involuntarily and he shifted his weight for a better balance, growing restless.
Maybe some people would think it was demeaning, but Connor always thought Jacob was made for this. His mouth was so beautiful and warm, with his tamed gag reflex and his eagerness to please. Connor let out a low groan as Jacob’s mouth really started to work up and down his shaft. He kept the grip on the back of the boy’s neck firm but not controlling, just enjoying the sensation of his movements. “God, that feels so good,” he breathed, wanting to encourage Jacob as much as possible. He rocked his hips just a tiny bit, that instinct to thrust almost overwhelming. Connor wanted to keep things relaxed though, at least for a while. Until he got inside of his boy and passion really took over. “I’m gonna fuck you just like this, slow and steady ...”
That just made Jacob fucking whimper because he wanted that now and the thought made him clench his muscles tight, eager to feel it. He opened his eyes briefly to look up at Connor before closing them again and focusing on what he was doing. With someone else he might have worried about being too enthusiastic, not wanting Connor to go off and be unable to fuck him but Connor had good self control and Jacob was starting to recognize his tells when he was close. It gave him the freedom to really work at pleasing him and he gave it all he had, stroking and sucking, glancing up again because he knew Connor liked it when he did. He also really did enjoy watching him, the way his eyes turned dark with arousal, straining to focus and stay in control when Jacob knew just how good it felt and how tempting it was to get lost in the sensation.
Connor loved how responsive Jacob was to his voice, his words, how easy it was to put delicious pictures in his brain. Turning his boy on always served to turn him on even further, and Connor slipped happily into just enjoying the blowjob for a while. He considered his sense of control an earned benefit of age, and he really appreciated it in times like these. He murmured more encouragement to Jacob as he worked, squeezing and rubbing his neck firmly as his own breath started getting heavier. Finally Connor reached the point of needing to stop before he was rendered useless to his beautiful sub who’d had a specific request. “Stand up,” he ordered softly, pulling back from Jacob’s mouth. “Come here.” As soon as Jacob was upright again, Connor pulled him in close and kissed him deeply.
Jacob slipped his arms around Connor's waist once he was standing, leaned into his embrace and returned the kiss eagerly. He could still taste his precum and there was something so insanely hot about sharing that with Connor. For a second he felt like he could come just like this, his cock rubbing against Connor's, caught between their bodies, but it wasn't enough friction and he still wanted more. "Please," he whispered against Connor's lips after they'd kissed for a while. "Want you." He nipped at his bottom lip lightly before pulling back enough to look at him, pupils blown with arousal, his face a bit slack.
Connor wasn’t going to make him wait long, since he was feeling needy and restless himself. He wanted nothing more than to be buried in his boy now. But god, did he love to hear that soft little ‘please.’ His cock gave a sweet throb against Jacob’s abdomen, and Connor nodded slightly. “Lie down on your back,” he murmured quietly, his hands stroking over Jacob’s hips. Once his sub moved to do so, Connor went to grab the bottle of lube off of the bedside table and climbed onto the bed after Jacob, kneeling between his thighs and looking him over as he got his own cock nice and slick. It was hard as a rock and positively aching already.
It wasn't often that Jacob had free reign to both touch and watch Connor when they had sex and while that was how he really liked it, tonight was different. As soon as Connor was on the bed, he rubbed his legs against his thighs, pressing in a little to pull him in closer and reaching down to stroke his abdomen when he was close enough. His wrist brushed against his own eager cock, sending a little shiver of pleasure through him but he was doing really good at not touching otherwise, no matter how much he wanted to. He knew he didn't really need prep at this point, as long as Connor didn't rush it Jacob's body would accept him and he bit his lip at the thought alone.
Connor had fucked Jacob enough now to know how to read him and his body’s cues, and he felt completely confident as he spread some more lube around and then shifted around to get into the right position. He braced one hand against the mattress at Jacob’s side, the other still on the base of his cock as he guided the tip in close and rubbed it against Jacob’s ass. Connor gazed down at him, his eyelids already heavy as he slowly pushed his hips forward to ease his way into his boy. Sometimes he had the yearning to be more abrupt and rough-fuck someone without so much caution, something that seemed easier when one was fucking women, just for the pure carnality of it. At the moment though, Connor didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world. He gave a soft grunt as the head of his cock popped into place, and he let go of himself to brace that hand as well, rocking his hips slowly to work on gradually getting deeper.
It felt different, both because of the angle and the way Jacob could watch Connor's face as he entered him, touch him all he wanted. He indulged in both, drawing a shuddered breath when Connor's cock breached him and slowly filled him up. It felt so unbelievably good, a toe curling pleasure that was at once soothing and thrilling. He could barely keep from squirming, gripping Connor's sides tightly, urging him on. It was pretty vanilla compared to usual and it was almost funny to Jacob how something he got so bored of with his former boyfriends could feel so fucking good with Connor. The power dynamics were still firmly in place of course and they didn't do it like this often enough for him to get bored with it but still, vanilla or not, he just really fucking loved it when Connor was inside him and he arched up to meet him, drawing one hand up Connor's back to let it rest at the base of his neck, pushing lightly but insistently, silently asking to be kissed.
It had been a long time since Connor had had boring sex -- he’d embraced his kinks fully in his 30s, and it had greatly improved his love life. He knew that sex could get routine over time, and he’d experienced a tiny bit of that with one or two boyfriends, but for the most part Connor had stayed sexually interested. He couldn’t imagine getting bored with Jacob, especially not when he was balls deep inside of him. Even lacking the bondage and blindfolds, he felt full of pleasure and satisfaction, gazing down at his gorgeous boy. Connor relented to the soft tug, dipping his head down to cover Jacob’s mouth with his own. His spine rolled and he gave a slow thrust, relishing that tightness around his cock and the way Jacob’s whole body felt underneath his.
Jacob moaned into the kiss and let his hands go back to roaming, stroking over Connor's back and shoulders, down his arms to where his hands pressed down against the mattress. It was always a bit of a thrill to feel his bracelet there, a reminder that he belonged to Jacob as much as Jacob belonged to him and Jacob let his fingers idle there for a few seconds, brushing against the cool metal. Then he brought his hand between their bodies, stopping just short of his own straining cock. "Can I touch myself?" he whispered against Connor's lips, having caught himself just in time to remember that he didn't really have permission yet. He wasn't sure what he'd do if Connor said no, he'd been hard for a while now and the way Connor's cock rubbed against his insides was sending a throbbing sensation straight to his balls and cock, making the lack of touch almost unbearable.
Connor enjoyed feeling Jacob toy with the chain bracelet around his wrist. He only took it off for sanitary purposes at work, but he wore it every other minute, and he missed it when it wasn’t there, a comforting slight weight against his skin. He fiddled with it a lot when Jacob wasn’t around, reminding himself that his boy was wearing its match around his neck, that they were always bound together. Romantic nonsense, maybe, but it made Connor feel warm inside. He lifted his head a little bit at the whispered question, glancing between their bodies where Jacob’s hand was hovering, and grinned faintly. “Only because you’re such a good boy and asked,” he murmured, nipping at Jacob’s full bottom lip. “Yes you may.” Connor rocked his hips, building into longer strokes though he still kept the pace slow. He wanted to enjoy this as long as he could.
It was a relief to put his hand on his cock, to soothe some of that overwhelming need he was feeling and Jacob moaned against Connor's lips in gratitude and pleasure. That slow pace was delicious and torturous, pushing him almost too slowly toward his release and yet it felt so fucking good to revel in it and draw it out. He tried to match Connor's pace with his hand, as if it was just an extension of that rubbing within him, like it was all Connor, every bit of pleasure originating with him. As much as he usually enjoyed some of that distance that came with different poses, this felt right tonight, the way their breath mingled between them, the way he could see Connor's face up close, know when his eyes were closed, see where he was looking when they weren't, it was intimate on a whole other level. "You feel so good," he whispered, his voice hitching with his shuddering breath.
He did like to be in control of every ounce of pleasure, but since his hands were occupied under himself, Connor was fine with letting Jacob contribute for himself for the moment. He knew not to come without permission, and when they got close to that point, Connor would take over. For the moment he was more than happy to stay right where he was, getting a close-up view of his boy’s face as he melted even further into pleasure. Connor stared intently at his eyes while he kept slow-fucking him, enjoying the push and pull of Jacob’s body, the tight friction around his cock. “You feel even better,” he murmured back, his voice gravelly with pleasure. Connor dipped his head in to kiss Jacob deep and hungry, even if he had to keep it brief so they could both keep breathing.
It wasn't a competition but even if it was, Jacob was pretty sure Connor would win because Jacob was ecstatic at the moment, unable to help the soft sounds that escaped him. He was trying his best not to put too much pressure on his cock, to not stroke too hard or too fast, wanting to last as long as Connor wanted him to and not come without permission. It was difficult though, with the way Connor's cock rocked into him from this somewhat new angle, tortuously slow. The kiss alone was enough to get him all worked up and he clung to his back with his free hand, pushing his hips up to meet him.
Connor did love the rougher bondage-y stuff, of course, loved having a sub to use as a plaything at his own whims, but there was something to be said about this sort of intimacy. There were no tasks, he didn’t have to be as vigilant about continued consent and safety, he could completely relax into the moment and just be present. Because goddamn did the present feel good right about now. Connor could feel the way Jacob arched under him, like his body was begging for more, and he gradually began to pick up his pace. He kept his face close to Jacob’s even when he had to breathe, their lips brushing together and lashes fluttering. He was so fucking beautiful, sometimes it made Connor’s chest ache. He dipped his head in further to kiss along Jacob’s jaw and then down to his neck, nuzzling and soft-nipping as he fucked him deep.
Jacob shouldn't have been surprised by his climax but it blindsided him, coming on way faster and sooner than he'd expected. One second he was in that sweet build-up, clinging to Connor and reminding himself not to let it go too far and the next he was tumbling with no way to stop it, his toes curling in pleasure as his thoughts turned to static and his mind went blank for a good few seconds. He let out a cry against Connor's lips before groaning a strangled, "Fuck," when he realized it was too late to ask for permission, his breath ragged and his body going limp. "Sorry," he whispered breathlessly. "Fuck..."
He felt the climax coming, that added tension in Jacob’s body, but only for a split second, and Connor didn’t have time to stop it either. So he kept going, only slowing down a touch through the strongest contractions, lifting his head to look down at Jacob’s face while he was wracked with pleasure. Once it was done, Connor stopped with his cock pushed in deep, grinning faintly down at his boy. “You’re gonna pay for that later,” he purred. Rule breaking always had consequences, but Connor tried to make sure they were always fun ones. He kissed Jacob’s lips softly.
He might not be moving but Connor's cock still felt like a lot inside Jacob's sensitive body and he was squirming a little when Connor kissed him. "Okay," he said when their lips parted again, his voice a little strained and the answer not exactly thought out at all. "Sorry." He smiled briefly before biting his lip, rubbing his knee against Connor's side. "I didn't mean to. S'your fault." The last came out with another little smile because he was being a cheeky brat just then but that didn't mean it wasn't true. It had been too good, what chance did he have?
Connor laughed at that, arching his torso up a bit to look between them where Jacob’s hand was still on his cock. “My fault? You’re gonna pay doubly, then,” he threatened teasingly. He gave Jacob’s chin a playful little bite. His cock was still rock-hard and aching inside of his boy, but the way he’d squirmed kept Connor from continuing to thrust just yet. He knew how those sneaky orgasms could make one overly sensitive. He soft-smooched Jacob’s face and then looked him in the eye again. “Still good?” he murmured. “Or need a break?”
"I can take a little punishment now," Jacob replied, only half joking. He was sensitive, yes, but Connor was already pressed in so deep that he was half floating in that hazy overwhelmed state already. It suddenly seemed appealing to ride that wave a little longer, especially if it meant getting Connor off and he really did love getting Connor off. "For being... for coming without permission." He watched Connor with somewhat hazy eyes, a dopey little smile still curling his lips as his free hand lightly stroked his back.
“For being bad,” Connor filled in, but his tone indicated that bad was good in this case, because sometimes it was. This was a more intimate lovemaking kind of session anyway, so he wasn’t feeling too strict or put out. He just hoped continuing on wouldn’t be too uncomfortable for his boy. Connor brushed their lips together as he started to move his hips again, the thrusts careful and slow to start out with, so Jacob could stop him at any time if he needed to. It still felt damn good on his end of course, and his breath hitched a bit as that pleasure started up again.
Jacob bit his lip and laughed a bit at Connor's words but he also nodded in agreement. For being bad. It was playful and cute so it didn't make him feel mortified or anything but he also realized he might have felt that way under different circumstances. Then Connor was moving again and while it wasn't Too Much, it was a lot and felt sort of good-bad or bad-good or some combination thereof. His eyes closed and he arched up against Connor, letting his hand slip away from his cock and to the mattress. He wondered if he would come again, if Connor took his time, and if he could even handle coming again.
Connor had considered trying to make Jacob come again, aware of what sweet torture that could be. It kind of depended on his own patience and intensity though, and damn did his boy’s ass feel good at the moment. Since he didn’t have to leave room for Jacob’s arm anymore, Connor lowered himself to his elbows on the mattress, taking hold of each of Jacob’s wrists. It wasn’t a tight grip, but firm enough to hold him in place for the moment. The position trapped Jacob’s cock between their bellies, and the feel of it there -- still overheated and half-full -- made the pleasure even sweeter. He closed his mouth over Jacob’s again with a low groan, his spine rolling with the steady rhythm of his thrusts.
Jacob had let go of his cock for a reason and that added friction was too much. Or almost too much, he wasn't about to stop Connor so clearly he could take it. Just like that, the closest thing to vanilla sex he'd had in a while veered toward being less so as it got more intense and Connor held his wrists down. He would be lying if he said he didn't love it though - even as he let out a soft and pained whine into the kiss. He hooked his legs around Connor, urging him on, his toes curled tight and his fingers digging into the mattress.
That whine was so delectable, Connor felt a warning tightening in his balls. He loved the way Jacob’s wrists felt in his hands and he wasn’t sure all of the sudden if he was going to be able to hold out long enough to even try to get the boy off again. As vanilla as this session was, he was feeling possessive and greedy, wanting to draw things out for his own pleasure but not sure if he could keep taking how sexy all of it was. Connor broke the kiss to open his eyes again and stare down at Jacob’s pretty face, relishing the haze in those big beautiful eyes. “You’re my boy,” he whispered without thinking much about it. “All mine ... and I want to fill you up with my cum ...”
The words made Jacob's already too sensitive cock throb and as much as he wanted to say something smart and sexy back, all he could do was moan and murmur a soft, "Please." He wasn't even sure what he was asking for right now, please come, please stop, please don't stop. The pain was all wrapped up in delicious pleasure that was wrapped in an even thicker layer of belonging to Connor, of being at his mercy. Yes, he wanted him to ease that pressure on his cock but at the same time he wanted it to hurt more, for Connor to take what he wanted. At this point another orgasm would be as much of a relief as Connor stopping, Jacob was lost in it all and it just kept building.
The possessive swell in Connor’s chest just made what was happening to his cock feel even better. He’d gotten so lucky to find this young man, here of all places, and that Jacob wanted to submit to him, to give himself over completely to moments like this one. There was nothing more fulfilling than knowing he was taking care of his boy even as he took care of himself, that Jacob wanted to make him happy. It was almost a worshipful feeling, and made Connor want to drown Jacob in bliss. His body sped up, his breathing getting harsher and heavier as intense pleasure tightened up everything in his core. He wanted to draw this out as long as possible and fuck Jacob until they just couldn’t move anymore, but Connor felt his orgasm on the horizon. He kept hanging on though, for just a few more minutes ...
Jacob had never thought he'd actually have a lover who could make him squirm but thankfully he'd been wrong. He was making pained little sounds as his muscles flexed and contracted, pushing up against Connor's hold without meaning to. "Fuck, I can't," he mewled but he could and he did, another orgasm wrung out of him by Connor's sheer stubbornness. It was definitely too much and very nearly dry, sending him spiraling again. His back arched and he pressed his head back into the mattress, his hair stuck to his forehead in a sheen of sweat and at this point he had no control over the wrecked cries escaping his throat.
It sounded gorgeous and painful and Connor ate up every second of it. He hadn’t been sure he could make Jacob climax again, that wasn’t always possible with male lovers, but he felt it break inside of his boy and it was fucking delicious. The way he arched and cried out and looked completely stricken with pleasure gave Connor the final hard push he needed to fall over the edge himself. He thrust deep inside of Jacob, letting the rhythmic clenching of his body do its job, and came with a shuddering cry of his own. Aware of how easy it was to hurt him with everything so tense, Connor didn’t pump anymore, but he couldn’t help a few short pushes as he filled up Jacob’s ass, just like he promised. It was blissful, and Connor buried his face in his boy’s neck as he shivered and groaned and enjoyed it thoroughly.
Jacob had seen videos of guys getting the post-orgasm treatment for a lot longer than this and while it was hot to watch and hot in theory, he didn't know how they survived it now. Everything was too sensitive, even those few thrusts were too many and he had the sinking feeling that if Connor had kept going he would have ended up having to safeword out. It made him feel a little weak but he reminded himself that BDSM wasn't a contest, people had different limits and they didn't always have to be pushed; porn did not always have to be emulated. He was panting hard when Connor finally stopped and despite all the pain and that sneaky self loathing curling up in the back of his mind, he felt good. Sore, yes, sleepy for sure, but Connor's weight on his body and his hot breath against his skin was grounding. All in all it had been a good punishment, he'd be more careful about coming too soon in the future and it still had been hot. Fuck, he wished he could have had the wherewithal to pay more attention to Connor. That was the only downside to how Connor always had him reeling, Jacob wanted to watch him, to hear those delicious sounds he made when he came, again and again.
It had been intense and hot and perfect on Connor’s end, even with Jacob coming early and without permission. Not everything had to have strict discipline surrounding it. Connor let his body cool and his cock soften for a few moments, relishing just having Jacob’s body under his own. It made him feel protective, like he was shielding the boy from ... something. Just the world, maybe. This was their own sacred space, and nothing could hurt him here. Eventually Connor lifted his head and pressed a soft kiss against Jacob’s lips before he started to pull out and shift over onto his side next to his sub. “You okay?” he murmured, planting another little kiss on his shoulder.
Jacob huffed, a lazy grin curling his lips. "Yeah," he whispered, his limbs heavy and his body sore but at the same time he felt like he was floating. Whenever Connor checked in with him, he made Jacob feel loved and cared for which only added to the hazy, happy feelings. "I don't think I could have gone again," he said then, finding his voice - albeit slowly. "That was... a lot." He let out a soundless little laugh and forced himself to shift his weight to lean in against Connor. "Holy shit."
Connor gave a deep chuckle as he draped his arm over Jacob. “Always pretty intense, huh?” he murmured contentedly. He’d given a handful of men multiple orgasms in his life, and he definitely enjoyed the porn of guys being tortured with pleasure, but it always took prostate work too, and most guys didn’t know it was possible until it happened. He was always pleased to open up that world to them, as he’d been with Jacob the first time. He cuddled Jacob in close, pressing little kisses against his skin wherever he could reach, happy to be in the aftercare glow now. “You did so good,” he whispered. “My best boy. ... only boy, but still best.” He huffed softly again.
Jacob settled in against him and there really was nowhere else where he felt this safe. Connor might not be able to fight off monsters but it really felt like he could keep them at bay, at least the nightmare kind. He grinned at the little kisses, feeling that weird surge of possessive feelings when Connor spoke again. He didn't like to think of himself as possessive or jealous but he liked hearing he was Connor's only one. The thought of sharing him with someone else was not appealing at all and yet he'd always thought of himself as pretty open minded about that stuff. "All yours," he murmured, slipping his arm around Connor's waist. "Don't want anyone else."
Connor was open-minded about most things, but because he felt so strongly about Jacob, having some open relationship kind of thing was not appealing in the slightest. He’d bonded to the boy quite intensely, and Jacob was his sub. Connor had no problem being possessive over him. “Damn straight,” he muttered with a grin. He didn’t want anyone else either. Maybe their feelings would change later on down the line, but that was something to think about in the future, not now. Now he just pressed in close and kissed Jacob’s face some more, then settled his head on the pillow. He was sated and drowsy, ready to spend the rest of the night cuddling his best and only boy and sleeping soundly.