BE-E AGGRESSIVE! (be_aggressive) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2020-01-07 12:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | #january 2018, jules, jules x sebastian, sebastian |
Who: Sebastian and Jules, Bash's car
Where: The High School
When: Late afternoon, Wednesday, Jan 10
Status: Complete
The weirdest part about being back at school was realizing that nothing had really changed but him. Sebastian told his friends that he’d been sick and they all accepted it and moved on. Everyone seemed a little off in the aftermath of the fog, so he blended right in, a bit quieter than normal, a bit more withdrawn, but still able to put on a smile when he needed to. He’d always thought he was a bad liar, but his ability to hide behind a mask was becoming exceptional. A few more days and he thought he could at least appear normal, if he really wanted to. That part was still up in the air. After everything he’d been through, he wasn’t sure it was worth it. Who was it making happy if it wasn’t him? Why was he wasting his time? He’d started asking himself these sorts of questions, but he’d yet to come to a decision on how to proceed. Until he figured it out, he just had to keep moving forward. There were other things to worry about, like the play on Friday.
While he was enjoying the play, the timing absolutely sucked. He still felt a little bit like a zombie and had to work harder to find the energy he normally brought to the role. Sebastian knew that some of his cast mates were worried, but so far he’d been able to turn it on when he stepped on stage. It was just when he was off that he tended to zone out for a bit. Today he was relieved to be done for the day, but he was also looking forward to opening night. Putting on the costumes and makeup made things real for the first time and he’d started to get the jitters he normally got before a football game, except now he had two more days to wait. When they were done for the day, he changed back into his clothes and laughed at his reflection in the mirror. The hair and makeup he wore for Puck clashed horribly with his letter jacket and jeans, but they’d have to wait till he got home for a shower. Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he left the auditorium and headed down the hall towards the exit.
Jules was finished with cheer practice, and she had done her best to put all of her energy and effort into it. It had been difficult, but Jules had always been good at pretending, so nothing had seemed off or forced, at least not to her friends. She thought about joining some of them at Moxie's now that they were done for the day, but honestly all Jules wanted to do was go home and take a bath and shut off her brain for a while. Her hands felt tingly again, and while that triggered some deep seated fear inside of her, she felt oddly confident that nothing would happen. At least not now.
She was walking down the hall with her own bag when she spotted Bash ahead. "Hey," she called out, realizing they hadn't spoken in a few days and hadn't had a lot of time or privacy at school to do so either. Jules began to jog a bit to catch up with him. "What are you doing here so late?"
Sebastian spun on his heel at the sound of her voice, then smiled as she jogged to catch up. Now that he was facing her, she could probably guess the answer based on the amount of glitter alone, plus the fact that Bash didn’t usually wear eyeliner. “Dress rehearsal,” he said. “The play opens on Friday, then it’s back to basketball practice.” That was the plan, but he didn’t really feel it at the moment. If that feeling kept up, he might just quit the team, though he didn’t like the idea of being a quitter either. Since the incident with Baron, he’d been thinking a lot about his life choices and who they made happy. If it wasn’t him, he wasn’t as sure he understood the point. “What’ve you been up to, other than cheer practice?”
"Oh, right! The play." Jules had forgotten, even though Jasper had mentioned maybe going to see it with Amelia over the weekend. She fell into step beside him and readjusted the strap of her duffel bag on her shoulder. "I haven't really been up to much. You probably heard about my stepdad." Jules grimaced. She didn't really want to bring him up, because it was much better to avoid the whole thing, but Jules didn't want to pretend like it hadn't in case Sebastian had heard. "So there's that. Kind of just trying to keep my mom from losing it, you know?"
Sebastian was glad that Greg had stopped by on Monday, otherwise he would’ve been clueless about the situation with Jules’ stepdad. It was hard to believe that it was over a week ago and this was the first time they’d talked. He kind of wanted to know more, but he nodded instead, figuring she’d probably rehashed that story enough times by now. “Greg told me,” he said. “That really sucks. I know he wasn’t your favorite person, but I get why your mom would be upset.” He knew he’d be freaking out if someone in his family just went missing, then realized that he was the one that had disappeared. He’d come back, though; he doubted anyone that went missing in the fog would be as lucky. “She’ll get past it. She probably just needs time. And maybe a new boyfriend.”
Jules didn't think it was that easy. Even if Jules hadn't liked her stepdad, her mom had loved him... supposedly. And the fog hadn't happened that long ago. If Jasper went missing and someone suggested she needed a new boyfriend, Jules probably would have lost her shit. So she knew better than to nudge her mom in that direction. It would take time, but her mom would move on eventually. Jules just had to make sure what had really happened stayed a secret. And that Edward was never found. Just thinking about it all made her stomach hurt, so Jules pushed past it, nodding a bit to Sebastian's words before she cleared her throat. "Do you mind giving me a ride? My car is fixed, but my mom wasn't about to pick it up until I was already at school. You can tell me what you've been up to on the way... I mean, unless you have plans right now. I'm assuming not with that makeup on your face," she teased lightly.
It occurred to Sebastian that he had no idea how to deal with real loss, that the death of a loved one wasn’t the same as a breakup. If he couldn’t move on from a breakup in a month, Jules’ mom couldn’t move on from the disappearance of her husband in a week. So it was probably good he was giving his bad advice to Jules and not her mother herself. “You don’t think it’d fly at Moxie’s?” Sebastian grinned. He wasn’t all that sure he wanted to get into what he’d been up to, but it would be nice to catch up a little. It sounded like he’d missed more than he realized. “Sure, but what happened to your car?” he asked, zipping up before they headed out into the cold.
Greg had told Sebastian about her stepdad, but not the car accident and the creepy creature in the woods. It was something of a relief and Jules was grateful that Greg knew how to keep a secret. "I think you'd get a free milkshake if you walked into Moxie's looking like that," she told Bash with a smile. She reached into her coat pockets to pull out her gloves. Christmas was long over and Jules was already yearning for spring. Point Pleasant winters sucked after the holidays. Tugging her gloves on, Jules began to dig around in her bag for her hat. "Oh, my car. I slid off the road coming home a few days ago. Hit a tree. I got a mild concussion but I wasn't super hurt or anything. So I had to get my car fixed. Jasper's been driving me, but with cheer practice starting up again, I didn't want to make him hang around school all afternoon waiting on me."
In all honesty, Sebastian thought the makeup was kind of fun, but not something he’d ever want to wear on a regular basis. He just liked the opportunity to do something different every once and a while, like on Halloween. “Shit,” Sebastian frowned. “Are you sure you should be cheering that soon after a concussion?” That was one of the things about winters in Point Pleasant-- the snow and the ice brought all kinds of unexpected dangers. Sebastian thought he had pretty good control over ice when it was in his hands, but he doubted he’d be able to stop his car from sliding on it.
Jules smiled at him. "Yeah, I'm fine. That was like, last week. We really haven't talked much over break, which sucks." She had been dealing with her own crap, and Jasper's stuff, and she felt kind of guilty, like maybe she had been a bad friend. But maybe Sebastian had been busy too, so she didn't have to feel so bad. A part of her wanted to tell Sebastian about what had really happened, even though she asked Greg not to tell anyone and Jules wasn't sure how safe it was for people to know. "Everything okay with you though? Your family and stuff?"
Sebastian almost told her she could always call him, but that went both ways. He’d meant to catch up with her, but things hadn’t really gone his way over winter break. It felt like he’d been on a losing streak for months now and didn’t know how to turn it around. “Things have been… not so great lately,” he told her with a little shrug. “It's all kind of heavy though. And weird. It’s got me thinking a lot about life and how short it is and-- I dunno. I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I missed out. Or held back.”
"I can deal with heavy," Jules told him, even if she wasn't totally convinced of that. But if she could handle everything that had been piling on top of her lately without bursting, then maybe she could help Sebastian too. Or at least listen to him for a while. Sometimes that was all someone needed. She shot him a mildly concerned look, but arched a brow. "Thinking about life, and all that stuff... that's what people say when something major has happened. So did something happen? Like, what are you afraid of missing out on?"
“Life,” Sebastian answered simply, shooting Jules a small, cheerless smile. The more he thought about the events of the past weekend, the past month, the more he realized how close he had been to death. Baron could have succeeded, Caius could have choked the air out of him, the coven could have failed. He could have died. “That makes me sound like a drama queen, and I probably am. But I don’t wanna…” He sighed and pulled his hat on, unable to fight off the worry that saying anything would cause bigger problems. “You don’t need my baggage, Jules,” he said, as he pushed open the door and held it for her.
Jules stepped out into the cold and shot Sebastian a look, his face illuminated now by the tall lights outside of the school. It had stopped snowing, but there was still plenty of it on the ground, so Jules tried to be mindful of where they were walking. "Baggage or not, I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know, or listen," she told him. "If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine, I can respect that. But we're friends and I'm here for you, just so you know."
Sebastian was quiet for a moment, his face pinched in concern as they walked towards his car. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was going to cross a line that he’d be unable to come back from, that Jules would realize she had her hands full and regret it. But she was the only person he’d told about the curse that wasn’t a curse and he trusted her more than most people. She could keep a secret better than anyone he knew. And he wanted to talk to someone. He’d spent a good deal of time in his head the past few days and it was making him feel crazy. “You know how I thought I was cursed?” he asked softly, glancing over at her. “Turns out I was possessed. I found out Friday afternoon when the spirit that was possessing me tried to kill my neighbor and botched it.”
Out of everything Bash could have told her, Jules hadn't really been prepared for that and she blinked, stunned into silence. Honestly though, she shouldn't have been as surprised as she was, considering everything going on around her. "Fuck, Sebastian," Jules said finally. Possession and attempted murder? Everyone she knew seemed to have had a crazy, shitty winter break. "Are you okay? I mean... you're obviously not possessed anymore... right?" She eyed him closely, though she was betting he wouldn't be at school, or telling her all of this if he was. "What happened?"
While it wasn’t funny, the idea that he could still be possessed and telling her about it so casually did bring a small smile to his lips and he shook his head. “Some of the witches got together and formed a coven. They summoned me from-- from wherever I was hiding and performed an exorcism. So it’s just me now.” Even though he knew it was true, the urge to summon a flame and burn his fingers just to confirm he could was so strong that he balled up his fists in his coat pockets. He didn’t need Jules to think he was crazy on top of everything else. “I’m better, but… it’s been rough.”
Jules listened with some fascination, and a lingering feeling of how unbelievable and crazy it sounded. But she knew anything was possible now, because she had seen and experienced unbelievable herself. Jules felt a twinge of guilt that she hadn't noticed anything off about Sebastian. Maybe she had been too wrapped up in her own bullshit to see it. "That's... insane. What about the neighbor you tried to kill... are they okay? Are you going to get into trouble?" He was at school and everything, and Jules hadn't heard of him getting arrested over break, but attempted murder was definitely a thing, and maybe his parents were dealing with all of that now.
“I think he’s okay,” Sebastian said, a look of worry crossing his face. With everything that was going on, he hadn’t even considered the chance that Caius might press charges. “I stabbed him in the shoulder, but… he was the one that led the exorcism, so…” He chewed on his lip for a moment, then shook his head again. “I don’t think I’m in trouble. Everyone involved knows it wasn’t really me. But they probably think I’m an idiot,” he said, opening her door for her then circling around to his own. “Possessed for over a month and didn’t even know it.” No one had said it, but he knew it was true. He wasn’t being punished because what he’d gone through was punishment enough.
Sebastian stabbed a guy in the shoulder. It was like he was describing a tv show he watched over break or something. "Well, you're not an idiot," Jules said. "If you've never been possessed before, how are you supposed to know what it feels like?" Jules slid into the car and shoved her bags into the bag seat before getting comfortable. "How are you now? Are you okay? Physically and everything?" Possession had to be something that lingered, right? She couldn't even imagine someone else inhabiting her body. Sharing dreams with three men was weird enough, but at least she was still herself.
Even to Sebastian the events felt foreign and distant, like someone else had lived them and he’d just been filled in. It was only when he let himself step inside his memories that they felt real again, but doing so resulted in such cold anger and fear that he’d forced himself to dissociate from the situation. “Physically, I’m okay. I was really sore at first, like I’d been hit by a truck or something, but I mostly feel fine now,” he said as he started the car. The air blew cold as the engine warmed up and he turned it down, flipping off the radio so they could talk. His hands gripped the steering wheel, his eyes straight ahead as he spoke, voice still quiet despite the privacy of the car. “Mostly… I feel kind of out of it. I keep thinking about everything that happened and then there’s school and it all feels really surreal. Like, everything’s supposed to be normal now, except I don’t feel normal.”
Jules huffed out a soft breath. "Yeah, well, you don't have to tell me that. If going to school wasn't like, the law, I wouldn't be there every day. It feels... not pointless, really, just... insignificant, considering everything that's going on, you know? And it's like, at least for you and me, we have to be someone our friends are expecting us to be, because if we're not, they're going to start asking questions, or think we're on drugs or something." She sounded amused, even if she didn't feel it. "But I'm really glad you're okay. And I'm sorry I wasn't around to help. I would have been, if I had known."
“It’s okay,” Sebastian said, turning in his seat so he could face her. “It’s probably better you weren’t. Apparently I was taking people’s blood for… Who the fuck knows?” As far as he knew he hadn’t hurt anyone except Caius and Reagan’s mother, but knowing that Baron had been using him for weeks left him wondering if it was worse than that. Who all had she managed to manipulate? Would they even remember if she’d told them to forget? “I go back and forth between wanting to kick ass at school, show everyone how fine everything is, and not giving a fuck. My mom got attacked by one of those fog monsters, I got possessed by a three hundred year old bitch, and I have a Calculus test next Tuesday? Right. I’ll get right on that.” He took a deep breath, reigning in the bitterness that had flared up. “Sorry, I know you’ve got your own shit to deal with. I would have been there for you too, if I had known.”
It wasn't funny at all but Jules laughed anyway, because he was right. How were they supposed to care about homework and stuff when so many more important things were happening. Scary things. "It's okay, Bash. Nobody really knows anything, so it's not like you were oblivious. I know things aren't normal, but I really wish they could be. That's why I'm going to cheer practice, and why I want to go to winter formal and all that stuff. I don't get to do this over again, you know? We graduate in like, five months. I don't want to spend that time being scared." Jules chewed on her lower lip for a moment. "But you know, at least with you, you should do whatever you want. You said you didn't want to wake up one day and realize you missed out on something. So... you should make sure that doesn't happen."
It was like they’d tapped into the same wavelength, the both of them grasping at normality while the world spun out of control around them. It was why he’d been at rehearsal, trying to find his footing in a world that felt slightly unfamiliar, because he wanted it to be normal again. “I’m trying, but… I dunno, I’m just all over the place,” he said with a little laugh. “Like, Chloe asked me to winter formal today. Chloe.” He knew at least five guys that had slept with her, only three of which had dated her. She was a guaranteed good time and Sebastian couldn’t figure out if she’d asked him as a joke or a dare or a challenge. And the most confusing part of it was that part of him wanted to take her up on it. “Sometimes I wonder if I screwed up, that I spent so much time being scared that I wasted every chance I had with everyone I’ve ever been with. I don’t wanna die without getting laid.” He laughed again, this time because of the ridiculousness of it. It wasn’t just about sex, there were so many other things he didn’t want to miss out on, but that was the one his brain latched onto at that moment.
"Did she really?" Jules's brows were drawn together in confusion. "I mean, she knows you're gay, right?" Sometimes her friends were a complete mystery to her. Then again, Jules had gone with Sebastian to Homecoming because she had needed a date. Granted, that was before she knew he was gay but being seen in public with Sebastian McCarthy was never a bad thing. Maybe Chloe just wanted to be seen. But she understood Sebastian's mindset. When there was uncertainty, especially in this town, it seemed normal to her to worry about the small things. Then again, maybe sex to Bash isn't a small thing, especially if he was still technically a virgin. "You're not going to die without getting laid," Jules promised with a small smile. "I mean, you're not going to die until you're like... ninety eight. And you'll have a lot of sex before then. But you know... don't be afraid anymore. If you find someone you like, just go for it. It's kind of awesome, to be honest with you."
“Yeah, that’s what I hear,” Sebastian said with a soft snort and a roll of his eyes. He shot her a little grin, then put the car in drive to start towards her house. “If it was that easy, I would’ve slept with you.” Now he was glad he hadn’t because he really liked having her as a friend, but she wasn’t the only girl he’d dated in the past few years. Lindsey would’ve been on him in a heartbeat. “I used to be scared I’d end up outing myself, that things would get too far and I wouldn’t be able to get it up.” He could feel himself turning red, but pushed past it, glad he had driving to distract him for a moment. “I don’t really think that’d be a problem anymore, but my options are, like, Logan and Chloe?” He glanced at Jules, one eyebrow raised, hoping she saw the problem. “I dunno. I don’t want to spend the rest of my senior year thinking that college will be better when half the time I don’t know if we’ll survive next week. If I die tomorrow, I don’t want to think, wow, I never got to what was supposed to be the best part of my life, you know? But I also can’t demand sex just because I want it,” he said, a touch of amusement on his lips. “I know this sounds stupid, but, after everything that’s happened, I guess… it’s something I can control. Kind of.”
Jules thought of Jasper and nearly pointed out that not being able to get it up was not a symptom of being gay. But she thought better of it. She so didn't need to talk to Bash about her sex life. Jasper would probably be mortified if she mentioned that part to her ex-boyfriend, gay or not. "Well... I mean, Chloe is nice. And pretty. But don't have sex with a girl just to have sex," Jules said. "Logan's hot, though. And you guys have hung out a lot, right? I'm pretty confident in the fact that he'd probably screw anything given the chance, so..." Maybe Sebastian didn't want to lose it to a guy like that, but if he was just looking to finally get laid, Logan seemed like a pretty safe bet to make it happen. "But yeah, I mean, I know what you're saying. Everything's kind of unpredictable right now, and uncertain. You want to do something for yourself, try to feel normal again." Jules shrugged and then smiled. "And you know? It's fun to do whatever you feel like doing sometimes, and not worry about what everyone else will say or think. Fuck all of those people."
Sebastian shot a smile over at Jules, her words calming some of the anxiety inside him. He’d always been a people pleaser and probably always would be, but right now he wants to live for himself more than he ever had in his entire life. It finally felt right, like he deserved it, and hearing it from her just reaffirmed this for him. “Thanks,” he said he said with a soft sigh. “I know that was, like, a fuckton of TMI I just dumped on you. I...Can I buy you a coffee? Or a milkshake?” He remembered it was January and doubted anyone in their right mind was buying milkshakes right now. “A hot chocolate maybe? Something to make up for it, and prove I can still handle a normal conversation.”
Jules knew it was silly to compare issues, but she could definitely say that once she stopped caring about what her friends thought of her hooking up with Jasper, things got so much better. She knew they still talked about it, and her mom didn't like it, but Jules wanted to do what made her happy, not them. "It wasn't TMI," she assured him. "Sometimes you just need to talk to someone who will listen. So it's fine. And you know, a hot chocolate sounds good, if you don't have to rush home or anything." She grinned and gestured towards his face. "And you have to leave the makeup on your face too." Jules had homework to do, and she wanted to check in with Jasper, but she could do all of that when she got home. She wasn't really in any rush, and Bash didn't seem to be either.
“I kinda figured. I have the feeling I’m gonna be finding glitter for weeks,” Sebastian snickered, altering his route to stop by Joyland. “All I’ve got at home is homework and the never ending search for my father’s grimoire.” Which he was almost positive was at his father’s office, but he couldn’t just march in there and search for it. He needed a plan, or magic, or a bargaining tool better than his own teenage angst. His father was a lawyer and Bash knew that if he wanted the book he needed a solid case. “So what’s been going on with you? Things still good with Jasper?” He assumed so; it would’ve been the talk of the school if Jules had broken up with him, but she could be a private person when she wanted to be.
Jules nearly suggested Bash just ask his dad for it, but she knew it wouldn't be that easy. She had no idea all the intricacies that came with magic, and she knew Bash's dad could be difficult. For a moment Jules found herself grateful that she was just a vanilla human. But then she remembered her dreams, and her hands, and vanilla probably was the wrong adjective for that. Jules smiled a little when he asked about Jasper. She wanted to tell Bash everything about their fight, and what was going on, but she didn't think Jasper would appreciate spilling her guts out to her ex-boyfriend about his problems. "Yeah, things are good with Jasper. I think he's going to start working at Ruby's dad's garage. He and Logan want to move in together. I think I told you that. I don't remember." Jules shrugged. "I mean, things are okay with me. Just... I don't know." She released a breath. “I haven't been possessed, so that's something!"
Logan had mentioned he and Jasper moving in together, though Sebastian didn’t know how soon that would actually happen. It had sounded like they both needed jobs first, so Jasper starting up at the Fox’s garage was probably a good start. “I hope it’s not a contest,” Sebastian laughed softly. “You told me. So did Logan.” The car slowed as he pulled up in front of Joyland and Sebastian had a moment to wonder what part of all that Jules might be stressed about. Sure, Jasper would be hanging out with Logan more, but he’d also have his own place and that seemed like a perk. “You seem… I dunno,” he said, frowning a little. “You still stressed about Jasper and Logan living together? Or him working for Ruby’s dad? I know you aren't exactly friends.”
"No." Jules shook her head, scrunching her nose just a little. "Me and Ruby are okay now. I mean, more okay than before. I'm not... I don't know, like... jealous of her the way I used to be. And I trust Jasper. He and Logan are going to live together no matter how I feel about it, so..." She shrugged and glanced out the window. "It's not any of that. Not really. I think I'm just starting to realize that I'm not going to leave Point Pleasant. I want to, you know for college, but it just feels kind of... um... not in the cards, or whatever that saying is. Do you ever want something really bad, but deep down in your gut you know it's not going to happen?"
Sebastian had never known Jules not to be able to get something she really wanted. It was like she achieved it through sheer force of will and god help whoever stood in her way. “Yeah,” he nodded solemnly. “It’s the way I feel about wanting to be normal. Like, the more I want it, the farther it gets out of reach.” He knew now it wasn’t possible. He’d been through too much and he’d always be a witch. His family had tried to run away from their magic and look how that had blown up in their faces. Now he wanted to embrace it, but it was a hard switch to make. “Why can’t you go? Is it Jasper?” He didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but that seemed the most likely one.
"No. Yes. I mean, kind of?" Jules wrinkled her nose. "It's hard to explain. Like, he's part of it. But weird stuff keeps happening, you know? Stuff I can't explain, and I'm not sure I can handle it either. I feel like it's going to keep me here." She hated how defeatist she sounded, because it didn't feel like her. Jules could be stubborn, and if she wanted something, she tended to get it. But she was starting to realize there were things out there much bigger and more powerful than she was. Jules might not have a say in what happened to her now, especially with what was happening now.
“What kind of weird stuff?” Sebastian asked. He’d had his own fair share of weird over the last few months, but he’d never felt like it would keep him in town. If anything, it was helping run him out of it. He wanted to give advice, but without knowing what she was dealing with he thought his words might fall flat. “You could always go somewhere close and come home on the weekends. Or, hell, pack your classes into Tuesday and Thursday maybe. I dunno. I want to say you could still have options, but… I think the weird stuff will keep happening if you stay. It’s this town. I think it’ll chase me, being what I am, but you could get out, Jules.”
Jules had thought about all of that. The University of Maine was only an hour and a half away from Point Pleasant. Close enough that she could come home on the weekends, or even a few nights of the week. It was a lot of driving, but it would be worth it. She even considered online classes. But college was feeling less and less important, no matter how badly she wanted to get out of this stupid tiny town and do something. She listened to Sebastian and understood what he meant by the town chasing him. He was a witch, and he had real roots here. Maybe it would have been easier for her to get out before the dreams and everything. When she was Jules Cooper and nothing else. Her throat felt dry all of the sudden and she felt her nose sting as she looked quickly out her window to try and keep herself from crying. There was the desire to explain and assure him she wasn't upset, but she couldn't speak just yet. If she tried it would all tumble out and he would probably regret agreeing to take her home in the first place.
Even though there weren’t yet tears, Sebastian could tell that Jules was upset and that she really, truly believed she was stuck. It reminded him of being trapped in the house during the fog, of how suffocating it felt to know his options for escape were limited, even when he had a whole house to wander. It forced Sebastian to look at it from another perspective, to try and see the silver lining on a cloud of black. “You know, if you stay, you could run this town someday,” he said, offering her a little smile as he reached out to lightly touch her arm. “All those parties our parents go to, the galas, they’re just waiting for you, if you want ‘em. And Jasper’s probably set to take over the bar someday, right? People talk shit about his family, but they run one of two bars in town. That’s gotta be good business. If you stay, you’ll be okay. And by then, I’ll have my shit together, so you’ll have a witch to call on for whatever bullshit this town throws at us. ‘Cause it can’t win. We aren’t gonna let it.”
Jules had no idea what her future looked like. She knew she wanted it to include Jasper. But did he want to run his dad's bar? Did she want to be like her mom and have no real job, but dress up and attend fancy parties? Maybe some part of her wanted that. Jules liked dressing up. She liked pretty things. So sure, she still had some shallow parts of her, but was that so bad? Jules brushed her fingers under her eyes impatiently and cleared her throat before offering Bash a small smile. "You sound like you're giving your team a pep talk before the big game," she said, teasing a little to try and lighten the mood in the car. Jules paused to clear her throat again, because she still sounded a bit hoarse. "And I know you're right. It's just things feel really scary right now. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, let alone in five months."
“Yeah, well, you’re on my team, so I gotta try,” Bash laughed softly. “I know what you mean though. When I was with Hunter, we talked like we’d be together forever. We looked at colleges together. It made me feel invincible. Now, I… I have dreams of the things I saw when I was possessed. Sometimes I’m scared I still am. And all I can do is focus on today, maybe tomorrow, at most next week. Winter formal seems trivial compared to what I just went through, and maybe it is for you too, but if we can’t find things to keep us going, no matter how small, then… I dunno. It’ll eat us up. It’s easier to whine about not getting laid than to talk about what happened to me. I never thought I’d care about the crown, but it also feels like having it might mean I still have a hold on reality, you know? I’m still here. You’re still here. Get through this week. Then next week. See what happens. But… find someone to talk to about the weird stuff, even if it’s not me. Talking about it really helps.” At least, it did for him. Maybe she didn’t need a pep talk, but he did and he didn’t want to be the hypocrite who couldn’t even take his own advice.
Jules wasn't really sure who to talk to. She knew Jasper would be there for her. She knew he wanted to know, and she trusted him enough to tell him everything. But sometimes it felt like she was piling on, because his sister had gone missing and was back as a teenager, his mom got pregnant and ditched him, he had that terrible experience with demonic black eyed kids and he had nearly died in the fog. Who knew what was going on inside of him now. Something Jules was desperate to fix, even if that meant going to Jasper's dad. In a way she knew she had at least Carson there, if she needed to talk to someone who would understand. She had told him about her hands, and what happened on the road to Overlook. But they weren't friends and he really didn't need a teenage girl unloading on him. Bash had just been possessed. Ruby had done enough for Jules already. More than enough. This whole town was just fucked up. Jules looked at Bash, grateful for his friendship, even if he didn't believe what he was telling her, she was still thankful for it. It made her feel less silly and bogged down by everything.
"Something happened to me," she said finally, pausing once to rub her hands over her face tiredly before she settled back against the seat. "It's a really long story, Bash. But it's been escalating for a while. I don't know how to explain it without taking like, an hour to do it, but I dreamed about those monsters in the fog. I saw them before they were here. And now I can... when I wrecked my car, it was because my hands were burning. Greg saw me on the side of the road and came to help me, but then my hands felt like they were ripped open, and it changed the space around us, like it opened some doorway into another version of where we were. There was a creepy creature or something living in it and..." Jules knew she sounded nuts. So she exhaled slowly to calm her nerves. "I told Greg not to tell anyone what happened, but he saw it. It hasn't happened since, but I'm afraid it will again. I don't feel normal anymore."
The first thing that hit Bash was that Greg knew and didn’t tell him, but he pushed that away, aware that it was selfish and insignificant and not at all what he should focus on. She’d had her own bullshit to deal with and he’d been completely unaware, too wrapped up in his own issues to notice. If Greg was able to help her, then he was glad he’d been there. “You could be psychic,” he said, brows drawn with thought and concern. “Witches don’t typically get their powers until they’re at least thirteen, but sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes there’s, like, a trigger. I don’t know if it’s possible with psychics, but… anything seems possible around here. I know it doesn’t make you normal, but you’re still Jules.” Again, he was frustrated with how little he knew and he blamed his parents for that. He didn’t know what a normal witch his age might know, but it had to be more than this. He felt useless, like he should be able to do more than just listen, but that’s all he could manage. “Does anyone else know? Other than Greg. And Jasper. I assume Jasper knows. Are your hands okay?”
"I don't know what kind of psychic I could possibly be," Jules muttered. She felt like she had no control over anything that was happening. It was like something else was living inside of her now. "Jasper knows," Jules confirmed with a small nod. She didn't want to mention Carson yet, because then she would have to explain about Nic and Neil and their shared dreams. That still felt oddly private. She could talk about herself to Bash, but it didn't feel right to mention the other men right now. "Greg only knows because he was there when I wrecked my car." She tugged her gloves off and held out her palms. They looked completely normal but for a bit of redness in the center. "My hands are fine though. I mean, they feel tingly sometimes. And they were feeling aching leading up to the day when... whatever happened happened. I just don't really know what to do about it."
“You said a door opened? To, like, an alternate reality?” It sounded like something out of a video game to him, or a horror movie, and a chill crept up his spine as Silent Hill came to mind. He looked down at her palms, lightly touching the center of one with his fingers. They didn’t feel especially warm and there was no trace of magic that he could sense, though he was no expert. “Do you think you could do it again?” he asked, looking up at her. “Not that I want you to. I’m just… curious. If it’s you, or the time and place, or a combination. Maybe if you figure it out, it’ll stop. Or maybe… I dunno.” His words drifted off, unable to reach another positive conclusion. “Could you have precognition? I mean, like was it a vision of what was to come?” If that was it, it didn’t sound very promising. The last thing they needed was the fog monsters to come back.
Jules nodded when he mentioned the door. She didn't know if it had been an alternate reality or not. It had been Point Pleasant, just colorless and with something terrifying inside of it. "I don't know if I could do it again," Jules admitted. "Sometimes my hands feel like something's going to come out of them again, but then nothing does. To be honest, I don't want to try it either because I don't know what could happen." She licked her lips and reached for her gloves to pull them back on. "I don't know, Bash. That's the problem. I don't know anything. I haven't dreamed about the monsters since the fog, so..." Maybe it had been a vision. But the fog hadn't been a part of it. They had all been out on the street leading out of Point Pleasant, not in town. Sighing, Jules rested her head back against the seat. "I know this is a lot. I don't want to like, weigh you down with it all. But I trust you. Greg wanted me to tell you too," she added with a faint smile. "He's had to deal with my secrets for a while. I feel kind of bad about it."
“Yeah, mine too,” Sebastian said. “It’s been so much that I didn’t even want to tell him what just happened, but Phee did, so…” That option had been taken away from him. He understood, since Phee was dealing with it too, but he hadn’t wanted to pile any more on what was soon to be a mountain of secrets. “I keep worrying I’m gonna run him off, that he’ll reach the crazy breaking point and just cut and run and I wouldn’t be able to blame him.” It was probably better that Hunter had cut out early because Sebastian knew for a fact he wouldn’t have been able to handle this. “I wish there was something I could do to help. I know an entire coven of witches,” he said with a little laugh. “But it doesn’t sound like there’s a clear cut solution. And that really sucks.”
"Greg would never do that," Jules said with a small smile. "He's your best friend. Plus he's a good guy. And he was really calm with me. He got me out of my car and to the hospital, when he could have completely freaked out and run for the hills, you know?" She was lucky he had been driving by when it happened, because Jules had no idea what would have happened if no one had been there to help her. She reached out to take Bash's hand. "It's okay though. I don't expect you to know what to do about it. And I don't think witches would help. It does suck, but all I can really do is just kind of... wait and see what happens."
“He’s good with stuff like that,” Sebastian said softly. In the few instances he’d had panic attacks around Greg, his friend had always been a calming presence, a needed counterpoint to his frantic mind. He’d never actually seen Greg freak out about anything, whereas lately everything seemed to be putting him into a talespin. “That sucks. But if you think of anything, let me know,” he said, giving her hand a little squeeze. “Even if it’s like, a protection talisman. Or wards on your house. Or… we can just get drunk sometime and forget about it all for a little while.” He knew that wouldn’t solve anything, but it seemed to help in the moment.
Jules didn't buy into those protective things. Jasper had gotten her one, a hex bag, and it hadn't done anything to help her. But she didn't say that to Bash, not wanting to unintentionally offend him. Instead, she decided to be grateful for his offers, aware that he wanted to help, even if he couldn't. "Thanks, Bash," she murmured. Sighing, Jules looked out the windshield to Joyland. "Okay, let's get something to drink and like, talk about stupid, shallow stuff for a while. I'm starting to get super depressed."
What Jules was dealing with wasn’t really something Sebastian had a solution for, but he didn’t think it would hurt to offer. Maybe someday he’d be able to actually help in a situation like this, but for now the best he could do was listen and be there for her. It didn’t feel like near enough. “We can do that,” he said with a little smile as he turned off the car. “You gonna come see me make an ass out of Steve Bowen this weekend?”
Jules snickered and nodded. "I'm going to definitely try, yeah. Jasper said he would come with me too." And maybe bring Amelia, but she couldn't say that. She didn't even want to mention Lyra, because that might lead to questions and Jules was so tired of keeping secrets. She was eventually going to forget who knew what and say the wrong thing. "It'll be nice to do something normal for a change, and I'm sure you're going to look hot in your costume."
Sebastian wasn’t all that sure Jasper would enjoy the play, but he didn’t say so, since he wanted Jules to come and she might change her mind if she thought Jasper would be bored. It was Shakespeare, so it wasn’t exactly riveting entertainment, but it was also turning out to be his favorite of all the bard’s plays. Probably because he had half of it memorized. “Hell yeah,” he grinned, as he climbed out of the car. “Tell your friends, too. They can come see me mostly shirtless and covered in glitter.”
"I'll do that," Jules promised with a smile. She had no idea if any of her friends would want to come, but it didn't really matter. Jules would try hard to make it, assuming nothing freaky and terrifying happened between now and then. But she would just worry about all of that later. For now she wanted a hot drink and to spend some time with a friend, preferably without a bunch of crap hanging over them. An hour or so of normalcy wasn't too much to ask, was it?