James McCarthy (justbreezy) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2020-01-02 19:39:00 |
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Entry tags: | #january 2018, brianna, brianna x james, james |
Who: Brianna and James
Where: The McCarthy House
When: Early afternoon, Monday 01/08
Status: Complete
There was a tension at the McCarthy household that even a self involved and oftentimes clueless man like James could easily pick up on. Brianna was calm but he could nearly feel the fire raging under the surface and was somewhat impatiently waiting for her to say what was on her mind. He could guess but he might not guess right though he suspected it had to do with magic and 'I told you so' regarding how dangerous it was, how her family really was cursed. Ophelia was out of the house, back to school, but Sebastian had stayed home today so there was still this urge to tiptoe a bit. They needed to make sure he was okay, both physically and mentally though James suspected it would take a while for him to get over this. It had been a terrifying ordeal and James didn't think Sebastian wasn't particularly strong.
James felt antsy too so it wasn't just Brianna who was on edge. He worried about the kids, felt overwhelmed with how much they still needed to learn and on top of all that he'd just tasted real power and he was hungry for more. Unfortunately that power came with the caveat of working with the other families and that was a definite down side to the whole deal. He'd just finished a conference call in his office, trying to smooth over some bumps with his out of town clients who were less than happy that he was not coming back just yet. Now he mostly wanted to punch something or go to his office - not to work but to do some rituals. He was getting the edge of by fortifying the protection wards on the house but that was not the sort of magic he wanted to be doing.
Brianna had indeed been stewing quite a bit since they got Sebastian home from Caius D'Onofrio's home. It had been overwhelming, what she had experienced. She barely knew enough magic to create fire within herself, let alone join a damn coven to exorcise one of her ancestors from her son's body. The power had been undeniable, and it had felt... amazing in ways she had trouble describing, even to herself. But her sole concern at the moment was Sebastian, and making sure he was all right.
It had been difficult to talk to James with Phee and Sebastian both home, but once Phee headed off to school that morning, Brianna found herself about to explode from repressing her anger and worry. She had done her best to stay busy, cleaning up around the house a bit, and attempting to work, although she was far too distracted to do much of anything. Eventually, though, it was too much to sit around and sink further into the feelings that had overwhelmed her since she had been told what was going on with her son. Brianna sought out her husband, finding him in his office. Brianna stepped inside and shut the door behind her, her gaze locked on James. "He could have died," she told him, hoping he understood just how reckless and dangerous all of this had been. "You know that, don't you?"
"Yes," James said and turned off his computer screen before leaning back in his chair and turning to face her. "Or worse." He was well aware of what could have happened. He wondered if she was really going to pin this on him, like he had done something to initiate this chain of events. It made him want to go on the offense immediately, knock her off her feet so to speak before she could get started. "Your ancestor could have banished him from his own body and who knows what sort of nefarious plans she had for the rest of us." He gave her a pointed look, silently urging her to get to the point as he held back on that urge to snap at her. The insinuation was clear but he would prefer if she came to her senses without him yelling at her so he wasn't making the first move - at least no more than to remind her whose ancestor was the problem here.
Her ancestor. Like this was her fault. The urge to grab something and throw it at him was strong, so Brianna folded her arms against her chest to keep her hands from doing something she might regret later. "This should have never of happened," she said tightly. "And I could be angry that you insisted on teaching them magic, but that was going to happen whether I wanted it to or not. But as soon as you knew something was wrong with him, you should have told me. I had to find out from Sebastian, bloodied and confused after he tried to kill a man, James. And what if he had succeeded? How could you not tell me what was going on?"
James narrowed his eyes for a moment, then inclined his head slightly. "Do you really want to start a blame game here, Brianna? Because we could start at the very beginning then, with how you kept your magic and the history of your family hidden from me for over twenty years. Did you ever stop to think that maybe this could have been prevented if I knew what I was really dealing with? The kids sought out magic on their own because you never warned them about the real reasons why they shouldn't." He was using his annoyingly rational voice, the calm one despite his own anger. Fucking around was one thing but she'd lied about the magic and he'd tried to be okay with it, he really had, but that resentment was festering.
"I'm not blaming you for what happened," Brianna snapped. Of course he would bring up her family. Of course. He was so damn good at deflecting. It was the attorney in him, she supposed, but it drove Brianna insane when he used it on her. She knew now that she should have told him the truth about being a witch, but she still believed she had kept it secret for a valid reason. Brianna hadn't known the truth. She had been lied to by her family, but she hadn't known they were lies at the time. "I'm asking you why you didn't tell me when you thought he was cursed. You're barely here, James. I'm the primary parent when you're out of town, and you didn't think to fill me in on what was happening with our son? How am I supposed to help or protect him when I don't even know what's going on?"
"I saw no point in worrying you when there was nothing you could do about it," James said and he was loathe to admit he'd been wrong when he thought he'd had it under control. Failure was a bad thing and admitting to it only made it worse. He was home now, neglecting important work just to stay home and deal with everything that was going on. It was a big sacrifice and it irked him that she wasn't more appreciative of it. "If it had been a curse it would have been over. I was handling it. I don't see how I could possibly have foreseen your ancestor returning from beyond the veil to harass every witch in Point Pleasant.”
If he said your ancestor one more time, she was going to scream. Brianna knew her husband well enough to know he was doing it on purpose, reminding her that it was her blood who had hurt their son, like this was all somehow her fault. She bit into her tongue sharply for a moment, the momentary flash of pain calming her in a strange way. "Clearly you weren't handling it very well," Brianna pointed out, "because things were getting worse right under your nose. Although I guess that's not fair, because you weren't here until you had to be. It blows my mind that the silver lining of this entire thing is that Sebastian tried to kill Caius D'Onofrio, because without that happening, who knows where we would be right now. I don't care whether or not I could have done something, I still deserve to know if something is going on with one of our children. I could have kept an eye on him instead of being oblivious to how much danger he was in."
"Because you kept such a close eye on him after he attacked D'Onofrio," James muttered. Sebastian had disappeared after that, gone missing until Caius magically summoned him into their circle and despite knowing something was wrong, Brianna had been powerless to keep that from happening. "I honestly don't think it would have helped matters any if you knew about it. If anything you might have gotten hurt." He could feel her anger sparking off her and there was a familiar urge to inflict the annoyance felt on her. James could rarely feel bad without sharing it in some way. "Everything I do I do for this family, Brianna. You should know that by now."
Brianna huffed out a humorless laugh. "Oh, please, James... we both know that's a damn lie." Their family meant everything to her, and she knew on some level it meant the same to him. But they both had selfish impulses, and she wasn't going to let him pretend to be some kind of martyr. "Maybe I wouldn't have been able to help in the same way you would have, but it's not up to you to decide what I should and shouldn't know about our kids. They're learning their magic from you, and even if I don't like it, I deserve to be kept in the loop if something goes wrong. I'm your wife, and I'm their mother, so I don't think that's too much to ask."
James felt his annoyance escalate at her laughter, the insinuation cutting deep. He'd sacrificed for the family, he was staying home against his better judgment for the family, it could even be argued that his selfish indulgences benefited the family - better he hurt a stranger every now and then instead of taking it out on his wife. He was barely listening to the rest of her words, too frustrated to keep up. "Are you done?" he asked coldly because as far as he was concerned, this conversation was going nowhere fast. What was done was done, he'd do it again and they both knew it.
It felt like her words were just disappearing into the void between them, rather than reaching any part of her husband that mattered. Brianna stared at him, feeling frustrated and angry, but also unable to ignore the sting in her chest. She hated it when he dismissed her, making her feel small and inconvenient. But she refused to show that brand of emotion in front of him, so Brianna lifted her chin slightly. "Apparently so." She turned to leave, making a mental note not to slam the door on her way out. There was no need to disturb Sebastian if he was sleeping, so she left it open as she walked down the hall to the stairs. "You might want to change the sheets on the bed in the guest room tonight."
James clenched his fist when she walked out, then relaxed it again and got up from his chair. "Brianna?" he called after her, sharp but not angry. He didn't really expect her to come back and he was admittedly surprised when she appeared in the doorway again. "You want to fight about petty things? Or do you want to talk about how we are currently on the cusp of something great? Something you can be a part of, grow in power and make sure our children never face harm like that again?" He walked around the desk as he talked, stopping a few feet away from her, arms crossed.
Her own arms were crossed as they faced off against one another. Brianna understood what he was trying to say, but it still rankled her. Obviously she knew how much her husband needed to be in control, but Brianna refused to take a back seat to everything. "James, my concerns aren't petty. Asking you to keep me informed about what's going on with our children isn't petty. If you want me to be a part of something great, then I need you to include me in everything, whether or not you think I can handle it. Can't you understand that?"
"It wouldn't have changed anything," James said again. "You might have even gotten hurt if you'd known what was going on. I stand by my decision to keep you out of it." Sure, the subject matter of their children's safety wasn't petty, but her clinging to something that was already done was, at least to James. "Now, are you going to let your resentment keep you from moving forward?"
Brianna stared at him in astonishment, wondering how he could be so obtuse. But he had always been stubborn. There were times she loved him for it, but now was not one of those times. Instead it had her realizing that he didn't exactly see their marriage as an equal partnership. Maybe she couldn't change what had happened, but she was asking him to include her in the future, should god forbid this, or anything like it, happen again. But he couldn't even agree to that? Brianna's jaw clenched briefly, her manicured nails pressing deep into her arms. If she knew how to set him on fire, she might have been tempted to do so in that moment. "I'll move forward," she said tightly, "but I won't be needing your help as I do. Focus on helping the children, and leave me alone."
That wasn't an option, as far as James was concerned. His kids had sought lessons outside the family, his wife doing the same was insulting. "Brianna," he muttered, his tone almost a warning. His revelation about The Six and the signs that had been there all along was fading to the back for the time being because she was being such a bitch. He was being a bastard too, he wasn't too obtuse to realize why this upset her, he just couldn't understand why she wouldn't let it go. "You are my wife and we stick together, as a family. Thick and thin, remember?" She wanted to fuck around on him when he was out of town? He could handle that. But seeking help with magic elsewhere was too much of a blow to his ego and he wouldn't stand for it.
"We stick together as a family until you decide I shouldn't be included or involved," Brianna pointed out. "I'm not a wife of convenience for you, James. Either we're in this together, fully, or we're not." She would do whatever she needed to do, on her own, if he wasn't going to cooperate with her. Brianna knew it would hurt his ego, but that didn't bother her. Maybe he needed that.
While James didn't outright laugh, his lips twitched in amusement at the thought of Brianna ever being a wife of 'convenience'. No, James could have married some submissive and downtrodden woman who did what she was told, but he'd picked Brianna for her fire and independence. Sometimes, admittedly, he regretted it. She could get on his last nerve - but he respected her and that did feel like an important component in his marriage, especially with the mother of his children. "You've always had more reign in how we raise our children," he reminded her. "Until they ventured into the area of my expertise, the one you refused to be a part of. That was your choice, not mine."
"I know that." It was difficult not to snap and her fingers dug into her arms sharply as she tried to work her aggressions elsewhere. "But if you want me to be a part of it now, you need to understand that we're in this together, with the kids. No more secrets. It's that simple." It felt simple to Brianna, at least. She knew she had kept what she was from him for the entirety of their relationship, and if he wanted to, he could hold that over her head for the rest of their lives. But if James truly wanted her to learn from him, he would have to make concessions himself and agree to meet her halfway.
James drew a deep breath as he considered it. He still didn't think he'd done the wrong thing when he left her in the dark, and he would make the same decision again in that situation, but things were changing. Brianna had been a part of the solution and he could feel the fire raging within her, a promise of greatness if she chose to hone it. "From now on," he agreed. "No secrets. We go forward as one unit." It wasn't entirely true and they both knew it, but extramarital affairs weren't the topic of discussion, magic was and their children's well-being. "Now, talk to me about that ritual, it's hard to think we weren't heading in this direction for a while, don't you think? The ghosts of The Six appearing around town and now the families are working together again." That was what he wanted to talk to her about, everything else just felt like petty nonsense in comparison and he was glad to be done with it, hopeful that she was willing to let it go already.
Brianna knew what was done was done, and she couldn't go back and change any of it. She just wanted the reassurance that James wouldn't keep issues with their children from her in the future. She could only imagine his fury if she had done the same to him and dismissed his concerns. When he agreed to move forward together, Brianna felt some of the tension ease from her shoulders and back. She knew damn well that didn't mean anything they did with other people on their own time, but she hadn't been asking for that. Listening to him talk about the ritual, Brianna was reminded of how much she didn't know about her family's history. Maybe she would need to sit down and go through her grimoire again, more intensely this time. "Are they working together again?" Brianna asked incredulously. "They helped us save Sebastian, and we in turn helped Caius's wife. But... what does that mean, exactly? That we're all going to be eager to help one another again in the future?"
"Don't you think we should be," James said and it wasn't so much a question as it was a statement. "You felt the power in that room, imagine the things we could do with that." The only drawback in his mind was the fact they needed the other family to tap into that power. He had decided to let go of his resentment but that didn't mean Caius and Reagan hadn't been in the wrong. They had worked to fix it and that was about the only thing keeping them in his good graces. "Maybe this town needs a powerful coven. Maybe that's what those damn ghosts were trying to show us."
Brianna licked her lips thoughtfully, studying her husband. She had felt the power in that room, and if she hadn't been so preoccupied with Bash's safety, she probably would have wanted to come home and tear into the magic that had been flowing through her so strongly. "Would you be able to give up control?" she asked her husband, unable to stop the skeptical arch of her brow. "So many of you have egos, and I find it difficult to think you would willingly step down and let someone else guide you, James. Especially if that someone is Caius D'Onofrio, who is only a handful of years older than Trip."
James bristled a little at that but he kept it under guard and managed to keep his calm, at least on the exterior. "I doubt we'd be good witches if we were meek and spineless," he muttered. "But nobody has to lead a coven, we would meet on equal ground, assist each other with truly important things. That's the idea at least." No doubt someone would get power hungry and want more, James could feel the temptation, of course, he was just cautious as well as ambitious. He stepped in closer to her, his voice softer now that they seemed to have reached a ceasefire in their quarrel - for now at least. "We banished a powerful spirit yesterday, I could feel your magic in that maelstrom, Brianna." He reached up to cup the side of her face, flicking a lock of her hair aside. "It's a force to be reckoned with."
Of course that sounded ideal but Brianna knew that things could go south quickly if egos got in the way. She tried to imagine herself being around those people on a more frequent basis, and it was difficult. They were all so different. But Brianna was still essentially a novice where it came to magic, and she knew if she held true to her threat of learning magic elsewhere, she only had so many options. Her expression softened when James touched her, but she didn't know if he was being truthful, or just trying to flatter her to get her to bend to his will. It had been a powerful sensation, being in that room with all of that magic. Intoxicating, even. As much as magic still frightened her, she wanted to be on the same level as the others who had helped them. She wanted to be stronger than they were. "What do you want me to do?" Brianna asked him finally. "I want to learn, but I don't want to be fighting with you every time we try."
"No more fighting," James said after a moment's consideration. There had been a lot of that lately and while it was all justified, she was right. It was exhausting, especially now that he was actually spending more time at home. Problems were easier to ignore when he was a hundred miles away, dealing with high end clients or beating down a submissive slut in a club. "We start fresh. Do you have any idea where your family grimoire ended up? Are there any relatives who might be willing to talk about magic with you? Because family is the best place to start and I know your parents won't help you with any of it.
Oh, it was so easy to say no more fighting, but to actually mean it was another. They were both stubborn, independent people and Brianna knew it was impossible to promise patience and understanding. His question prompted a frown on her lips and Brianna shook her head slowly. "I don't know anyone in my family who might be able to talk to me about this. Magic was forbidden in my family for decades now. But... I have my grimoire," she admitted. "I found it in my grandmother's attic awhile ago and I have it locked away now, in my office. I suppose that's as close to family answers as I have right now."
James heart skipped a beat and damn if he didn't want to get his hands on that grimoire. The secrets it held, the spells he could learn... He didn't let it show, maybe if things went well for him she'd offer to show it to him one day. He certainly wasn't going to ask. "Study it," he said instead. "Page by page, spell by spell. There should be a lot of history there, read between the lines if you have to. Don't try any of the spells yet, let's get you through basic training before you tackle that stuff." She would need a safer place to store it too and he made a mental note of helping her find somewhere, teach her some wards.
Basic training. She hated the sound of that, like she was on the same level as her children for fuck's sake. Which... she probably was, and that was her own fault. But still. "That grimoire was written by the same witch that possessed our son," Brianna pointed out. "It could be nothing but dark magic in that book, James. Are you sure that's what you want me to study?" Whether he wanted her to or not, Brianna knew she would probably read through it more thoroughly now. She felt an inate amount of magic when she held the grimoire in her hands, and despite how furious she was that an ancestor could have hurt her son, Brianna was also sharp enough to understand that the same blood ran through her veins. If Abigail Baron was that powerful, even in death, what did that mean for Brianna?
She had the original grimoire. The realization hit James like a freight train and yes, it was upsetting because Brianna was right, that grimoire could be nothing but trouble. "It's your heritage," he said a little stiffly, discomfort coursing through him like a chill. "You should study it, just be careful with it. Treat it a little bit like a bomb, I guess." He almost suggested they study it together but again, it was something he wanted her to suggest, not wanting her to see how hungry he was for that knowledge. Ambition could turn ugly and their relationship was fraught enough already. "It should be safe for you to read it, you're her blood."
Brianna decided it would be best not to tell him she had given it to Caius D'Onofrio before she ever read a page. Looking back now, it had seemed foolish of her, but he had asked for it, and she had wanted to help him. That seemed odd to her now too, but what was done was done. The grimoire was locked away, and it would be there for her when she decided to open it. Because James was right. It was her heritage. Abigail Baron had been her ancestor, and no matter what Brianna thought of her, that blood was in her veins. Perhaps that power was too. Her lips twitched briefly when James suggested treating the book like a bomb. That was good advice. "I'll look it over, but I won't try anything without talking to you first," she said finally. "And I don't want the kids to read it either, at least not until I know what's inside."
"The kids don't get either grimoire until they're better trained," James said, glad they were on the same page with that. "If anything they've proven they're not ready, Sebastian especially." Going behind their backs, participating in a ritual, giving up his blood to other witches, it was all foolhardy and dangerous and James could only hope Sebastian had learned his lesson by now. Then again he couldn't say he thought too highly of Caius D'Onofrio and Reagan Kelly for approaching a child when they needed help. James glanced down the hallway, half expecting to see his son there, sulking as he listened in on this private conversation but Sebastian appeared to still be in his room. He had been exhausted so James wasn't really worried about him lurking around. "Trip doesn't seem very interested in any of this," he added a bit regretfully. "Have you heard from him at all?"
Brianna shook her head. "We haven't spoken since Christmas." She was still upset with him for not coming home to spend it with family. It was a slight that she was still angry about, though now she felt the urge to reach out to him and smooth things over. Life was unpredictable, and she didn't want him thinking she was angry with him, especially should something happen. "I'll call him tonight," she added after a moment. "Maybe he'll be willing to come home for a weekend soon to see everyone. It may be easier with you being home more." Who knew when James would go back to his usual business trips. Probably soon. And maybe that was for the best. "I should go check on Sebastian," Brianna murmured. "I'm sure you have work to do."
"He's sleeping," James said dismissively and reached out again, this time resting his hand on her waist and pulling her in a little closer. "I'm sure he's okay." James did have work to do but he'd already finished his conference call and everything else could wait for a bit. He'd smoothed over work related things, now he wanted to smooth over family matters. "It's been a hard weekend for everyone, you should take a moment for yourself, run a hot bath or let me pamper you." He inclined his head, giving her a little smile. "How does that sound?"
Brianna finally lowered her arms from her chest when James touched her again. She knew he was trying to make things right, and while she was still feeling a bit prickly from the argument, Brianna knew she needed to breathe and try to let things go for now. Sebastian needed rest. He didn't need to hear his parents fighting all damn day. If they were truly going to move on as a unit and work this out, she needed to resist the urge to snap. So Brianna arched a brow, studying her husband's face with a subtle curve of her lips. "Well, before I decide, how exactly do you plan on pampering me?"
James had a fleeting thought of stress release in the form of angry sex on his desk but like Brianna he was mindful that their son was home and traumatized. "Run a hot bath, have some Cabernet Sauvignon, I'll even throw in a foot massage." He wouldn't say he had a fetish for feet but he was pretty sure most men liked women's feet to some degree and Brianna's were particularly nice. She took care of them and they always felt small and dainty in his grip.
Brianna smirked softly. All of those things sounded amazing to her. But more than that, James was trying to bridge the gap between them, and she didn't want to be the bitchy wife who pushed him away. Not after what they had been through. "All right," she said finally. "But it better be a damn good foot massage." She leaned in to brush her lips against his cheek. "And I want that wine glass full."
"When am I ever stingy with wine?" James said with a cocked brow and a knowing smile, tilting his head at her as if to ask 'really?' "And you know I give a damn good foot massage." He felt a little more at ease now that she wasn't pushing him away or stubbornly holding onto her anger. Of course he knew she had filed her grievances away for a later time when she needed to rage at him but as long as that wasn't happening tonight he didn't really care about it at that moment.
Brianna hadn't let go of her anger, but she was willing to put it away for now. If James wanted to call a truce, they could do that. Hopefully they had come to an understanding about magic, and their children, and they wouldn't have to keep going around and around with it. She leaned in to press a kiss to his lips. "I love you," she murmured, because she did, and she felt like it was important to say it.
James reached up to cup her face affectionately, a mild smile curling his lips as he met her eyes for a long moment. "I love you too," he said earnestly and despite everything he knew this was true for both of them. They put up with a lot of each others' bullshit because they loved each other, not just for the kids or their house or the life they'd built together. It didn't hurt that Brianna was still gorgeous, after all these years he could still see the pretty girl he'd married two decades ago and she still stoked his fire - now more literally than before as it turned out.
Brianna curled her fingers around his wrists and held them for a moment. Physical affection was always preferable to anger. She might wake up tomorrow annoyed all over again, but she would enjoy the so-called peace tonight. Brianna placed another soft kiss to his lips before letting him go. "If you want, you can enjoy that bath with me." Sebastian was resting, and her bathtub was certainly big enough for two. Even if they didn't speak, at least they would be sharing space together.
James smiled at that and nodded. "I was hoping you'd offer," he admitted. "Start the bath, I'll bring some wine." He could rub her feet in the bath and just maybe that'd lead to more. They both needed that, he thought, some alone time, tension relief and closeness. "I'll check on Sebastian before I join you," he added then, knowing she would fret about their son otherwise. He hoped Sebastian was sleeping, he needed the rest and that meant they had more privacy.
She could do that, and she appreciated that James would check on Sebastian for her before they got comfortable. Brianna hoped he was sleeping, and would stay that way for a while. Nodding, she rubbed his arm as she walked past him to their bedroom. They had all had a long, exhausting week and Brianna decided not to feel guilty about relaxing for a while with her husband. They both needed it as much as anyone.