you're dancing with a dead man's bones (edgeofmybreath) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2019-12-03 10:52:00 |
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Entry tags: | #january 2018, roxy, roxy x spence, spence |
Who: Roxy and Spence
When: Late afternoon, Monday, January 8th
Where: Grocery store
Status: Complete
With steady work, and dealing with the issues that frequently plagued this town, it had been a while since Spence made it to the grocery store. He had been a frequent visitor to his mom’s house for dinner, and while she had never once complained, Spence still felt guilty showing up to be fed because he was a useless human being.
With the weather cooperating, Spence was able to finish up work early and drive to the store. He had written a list on his phone as not to forget anything he might need because he only wanted to do this once this week. Shopping was not his favorite thing, and he tended to get overwhelmed by it, never knowing what he ought to get. Frozen pizzas and beer were easiest, but he was also trying not to get complacent and lazy. He had avoided getting a gut all these years, he wasn’t about to give up now.
At first he carried a basket around, but then quickly realized he would need a cart, so he grabbed one from the front of the store and set the basket inside. Spence walked lazily through each aisle, occasionally lifting a hand to scratch at the facial hair he’d let grow back in after he’d shaved for Roxy. His hair was in desperate need of a trim again, but it wasn’t very high on his list of priorities. One upside to the horrible weather was that he hadn’t run into anyone in town that he didn’t particularly want to see. Maybe being a hermit was bad for his mental health, or whatever, but he tended to think it was better for everyone that way.
Mondays at the bar were always slow, and Aaron was apparently going back to work anyway, so Roxy had the day off. She’d done some badly-needed house cleaning for most of the morning, which included tossing all the expired stuff out of the fridge. Which meant they needed to grocery shop. Which meant she needed to grocery shop, because Caden rarely did it himself and never wanted to go with her. Today that was okay, because Roxy wanted some time alone. She’d thought about texting Mila to see if she wanted to hang out, but even that felt daunting. She didn’t want to talk about much of anything, nor did she want any more questions about her face or how she was feeling -- she got enough of that at the bar.
Roxy hadn’t bothered with makeup like she did for work, just put on a pair of big sunglasses. They didn’t hide the swelling and scabbed cut across her nose where it had broken, but they masked the black eyes well enough. She was healing, but slowly. As she got a cart and started through the store, Roxy tried to pretend she was a movie star trying not to get recognized instead of a woman battered by her own fucking father in law. Asshole. As she was eyeing some of the Little Debbie cakes on the end shelf of one of the aisles, Roxy didn’t quite stop her cart, and ended up ramming into another cart that was emerging. She gasped, which was followed quickly by a “shit, I’m sorr--” that was cut short. Because it was Spence driving the other cart. Of course it was.
Spence hadn't really been paying attention to where he was going and he was about to apologize himself when he spotted Roxy. He found it odd that she was wearing sunglasses, but given some of the bruising on her nose, it suddenly made perfect sense. The urge to yank the sunglasses off to see the rest of the damage was strong, but he kept his hands on the cart. It wasn't his place to get involved in her business right now. Although he wanted to know what happened. And if she was okay. "Hey," he greeted with a faint smile. And with that out of the way, he fidgeted, not entirely sure what else to say that wouldn't sound weird or forced. "How've you been?"
Roxy felt her cheeks burn. People just passing by were one thing, easy enough to ignore and be ignored by, but seeing someone she knew while wearing a busted nose and big sunglasses just screamed ‘I’m a battered woman,’ didn’t it? Especially to Spence, probably, who knew how her relationship with Caden could get. But it hadn’t been Caden this time, and the urge to defend him rose in the back of her throat like bile. That would sound crazy though, too defensive, and she did her best to swallow it back. “Oh, you know ... the usual,” Roxy answered, doing her best to sound casual about it and not succeeding very well. “Crazy-ass disasters, life-threatening terror ...” She pressed her lips together for a beat, looking him over behind her shades. He looked scruffy and a little tired, but still good. “Are you okay?” she asked, softer.
Was "the usual" having to wear sunglasses in a grocery store because of bruising? Spence had to bite his tongue, quite literally, to keep from asking. "I'm fine," he said instead. "You know, like you said... disaster and terror. The Point Pleasant usual." He shifted from one boot to the other and glanced around, trying to remember what else it was he needed from the store. Why had he come there in the first place? Oh, right, he had a list. But he felt silly pulling it up now. "How was your Christmas?" Spence asked, trying hard not to ask what happened to her face, since he was pretty sure he already knew.
That wasn’t a great answer, and not a great question to follow up with. Who cared about Christmas when fog monsters from some other dimension had run rampant and almost killed them all? Roxy knew it was just the awkward small talk of two people who had so much they couldn’t say between them, and she truly regretted coming shopping today. Buying bread shouldn’t make her stupid heart ache like this. “It was fine,” Roxy murmured, aware of how pale and useless that word was. She was able to hold on for a beat, intending to ask about his family, if all the Wheelers made it through all right, but true words were like lava in her throat, coming up no matter what she wanted. “Caden didn’t do this,” Roxy blurted, her hands tight on her cart handle. She knew Spence would know what she was talking about. “It was at the bar, during ... everything. We were trapped and he was hurt and I tried to help and he just ... reacted.” She hated to hear herself defending Joseph Lucas in the slightest, but she knew how bad it looked that Caden’s own father had punched her too. Fuck.
That surprised Spence and he merely stared at her for a moment before he caught up. And he found himself wondering if she was lying. She might have been, but who was he to say so? His brows furrowed in confusion as he digested her explanation. "Okay. Uh, who is 'he'?" Spence asked, because she had said Caden hadn't done it, but hadn't actually said a name beyond 'he'. Not that Spence was planning on going off to find the guy or anything. If Caden hadn't hit his girlfriend, than someone clearly did and unless Caden was a true asshole to the core - which Spence tended to think he was - then Caden probably dealt with the guilty party.
Roxy’s lips pressed tighter together for a moment, and she felt a flush creep into her cheeks. Spence looked confused for a second, and she was immediately cursing herself for saying anything at all. He probably didn’t care who’d hit her -- he had no reason to care anymore -- and she was just oversharing like an idiot in sunglasses in the fucking grocery store. God, she wanted to scream. Roxy briefly considered lying about who had done it, but no alternate names came to mind, so why the hell not be honest? It would just show Spence even more how fucked up she was, so he could rest easier with not having anything to do with her. “Joseph Lucas,” she answered. “Caden’s dad. He like, lives at the bar, so he was there when everything went down.” Caden had repaid Joseph tenfold, but that hot aroused appreciation in her gut when she’d watched it go down was far too embarrassing to think about in front of Spence.
Spence did care who hit Roxy. He didn't like to see her hurt. He had wanted to help her get away from all of that, but... ultimately it wasn't what she wanted. Spence would have kept calling, but he felt like pressuring her about it would have made her miserable, and he didn't want to do that either. He grimaced a touch when Roxy named Caden's dad. "Guess it runs in the family," he said before instantly regretting the words. Spence winced again. "I'm s-sorry. Shouldn't have said that. Are you okay?" She looked bruised and tired, so she probably wasn't, but the least he could do was ask. Again.
Her jaw clenched briefly as Roxy swallowed down the urge to jump to Caden’s defense again. Violence did run in the Lucas family, probably farther back than any of them knew -- Roxy wouldn’t have been surprised if it had continued for generations, just like in her own family. But Joseph had beaten the shit out of Caden throughout his young life, so how could she expect Caden to know any different way to handle problems? That was one of her lines of thought, anyway. Other parts of her knew that was a bullshit excuse at this point in Caden’s life. He did know better, or things wouldn’t have been improving now, when he’d come so close to losing her. Roxy knew she couldn’t explain any of that to Spence though, especially not in the grocery aisle. He was the last person who’d want to hear it anyway. So she swallowed it all back. “Yes, I’m okay,” she answered, keeping her tone soft. “I got off lucky compared to some. Were you somewhere safe? During ... everything?”
"Yeah," he said with a grim smile. "Doing some electrical work in one of the office buildings on Main Street when the fog c-came in. We were all sort of hunkered down there until it was over. Drove me nuts not being able to call anyone to check on them. Could have been worse, from what I saw after the fog cleared up. But e-everyone is fine. My family and all." The same couldn't be said for everyone in town, so he didn't want to complain about his own circumstances. Spence was about to say more when his gaze caught upon the ring from her finger. It took him a second to understand what it was, but when he did he had to resist the urge to just step back with his cart and flee. Spence wanted to ask about it, but couldn't really find the right words so his gaze shifted back to her face, hoping she would have mercy on him and just make an excuse to leave. He would have done it, but his brain wasn't functioning properly at that moment.
It was good to hear that he and his family had been safe, but that relief didn’t last long. Roxy couldn’t miss the change in expression on Spence’s face, and it took her a second to realize why. When she did, her left hand twitched a bit as she clamped down on the urge to immediately stuff it into her pocket. That wouldn’t help now, and it would just seem stupid and like she was ashamed of her engagement. Maybe part of her was, but she didn’t want to be, goddammit. She wanted to be sure. Still, her cheeks burned and her throat suddenly felt a bit thick. Roxy cleared it and shifted her weight from one foot to the other, too many mixed emotions roiling in her stomach. How did he always do that to her? It wasn’t fair. Maybe that was a sign this was for the best. “You deserve better, Spence,” Roxy said quietly. “I promise. Take care of yourself, okay?” The last word wavered a bit, and she moved her cart to go around his and rescue the both of them.
It was always frustrating for Spence to be told what he did and didn't deserve, like he was a child that other people needed to make decisions for. This wasn't the time or place to argue that point, especially with Roxy, because if this was what she wanted, then this was what she wanted. He was going to try hard not to think that maybe she had used his being home as some kind of... barter tool with Caden to make him commit. It was an unfair thought, but it had lodged there in the back of his mind now. She had cast him aside so quickly, and now she was engaged. Spence sighed and nodded. "Just... you know... I want you to be happy. So if you are, then I'm happy for you, okay?"
The question of whether or not she wanted to marry Caden Lucas had seemed so much simpler a few months ago, before Spence had reappeared in her life. She’d said yes to Caden without much hesitation, but there had been caveats that likely wouldn’t have been there before. She hated that she still felt confused about it all; not having any options was so much easier, even if the limitations were self-imposed. She did love Caden, they were so established now, could she throw that away for an old flame from high school? Especially considering Caden’s temper? No matter what he thought, Spence didn’t deserve to get dragged into all of her bullshit, and in a wistful way, she wanted him to remember her as a lovesick teenager instead of what she’d turned into. Roxy didn’t even know if she was capable of sustained happiness. Some people were just built different. Or they got broken and changed along the way. Even if she did leave Caden for Spence, she would probably fuck it all up pretty fast, and then where would she be? “Thank you, I appreciate that,” she murmured. “We’re ... working on it.”
Spence knew what it felt like to be broken, although probably not in the same way as Roxy. He knew what codependency looked like too, but he couldn't be someone to push or pressure her into changing if she truly didn't want to. They'd had a plan, and it sounded like something Roxy had wanted... until she didn't. "I hope so," Spence said, doing his very best not to look at the ring again. He had a few derisive thoughts about what she and Caden could possibly be working on, but Spence wasn't an asshole, and he didn't want to be one just because he had hurt feelings. So he offered her a small smile, just to show her he was okay. "And if there's anything you need, you know where to find me."
Part of Roxy kind of wished Spence would be an asshole. She at least knew how to handle assholes, as opposed to sweet genuine guys who kept offering to help her even when she was a dumb bitch at them. Spence wouldn’t think of it that way, at least not out loud, but Roxy knew there was a lot of dumb bitchery going on in her head. “Thanks, Spence,” she said softly. Maybe someday she could really apologize and thank him, because he had done a lot for her, but today wasn’t that day. Hit with the sudden urge to just abandon her shopping and go home and drink herself stupid, Roxy continued to push her cart around his. “Stay safe, I’ll ... talk to you later.” It was a lame note to end on, but ‘see you around’ sounded so dismissive. Ugh, there was no good way to do this, so it was time to flee ... at a speed that hopefully didn’t look like fleeing.
"All right." There wasn't much more Spence could say to that, because Roxy looked eager to go. So he let her go. He had no idea when they would talk again or if they even would. But keeping her in the grocery store to talk about uncomfortable things wasn't really his style. But at least he knew she was safe, sort of, and doing okay... probably. Sighing, Spence looked back to his cart, forgetting what else it was he needed. Probably liquor. A lot of it.