BE-E AGGRESSIVE! (be_aggressive) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2019-10-31 21:43:00 |
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Entry tags: | #january 2018, jasper, jasper x jules, jules |
Who: Jules and Jasper
When: late morning, Saturday, Jan 6th
Where: Jules’s house
Status: Complete
Saturday rolled around, and Jules still hadn’t answered any of Jasper's texts or calls. He hadn’t been bombarding her with them, painfully aware of just how badly he’d fucked up, but he’d been trying here and there. Waking up that Saturday morning, that awareness was even more painful, because he’d just compounded his fuckups. Guilt ate at his stomach as he laid in bed for a while, but his feelings were conflicted because fucking around with Logan had felt so damn good, and it wasn’t like he was just some nameless slut to Jasper. That was his best friend, and he’d guided Jasper through breaking down some of the dam that had always held Jasper back from trying anything like that. Not that he could tell Jules that. But Logan wouldn’t either, Jasper trusted him, so hopefully she would just ... never have to know about it.
In the meantime, he had to do something to at least try and get her to talk to him. This silent treatment was killing him. He would rather let her scream at him for a while so they could get over it and move on. If she even still considered them a couple, that was. Every time he thought about Jules icing him out completely, his stomach and chest hurt, bad. If it was going to happen, he wanted to get it over with. So Jasper dragged himself out of bed and got dressed in several layers, then left the house.
The roads were okay, but it was bitterly cold. Still, he went to Belladonna and looked for something nice for her that would be better than some overly refrigerator supermarket flowers. Jasper did make another stop to get a piece of chocolate cake from Joyland though, then he made his way up to Overlook. The first glance at the house gave him a bit of the creeps, considering what he’d been doing the last time he’d been there, but Jasper shook it off. Ms. Cooper’s car wasn’t there, so that was a relief. Jasper still parked halfway down the street, then hoofed it through that biting cold to get to Jules’s front door. Hunching his shoulders, he rang the doorbell a couple of times, hoping she would answer if he hadn’t given her any warning it was him.
Jules had been having a rough couple of days, to put it mildly. Her car was still in the shop, her mom was turning into a crazy person, and her hands kept throbbing on and off since Wednesday, sending Jules into a state of panic whenever the pain became so severe that she was sure she was going to open some kind of horrible, alien dimension and kill everyone in Point Pleasant. Thankfully nothing as bad as what she and Greg saw on Wednesday happened. Sometimes it felt like the air in the room got cooler, or hotter, or heavier. Once the space in front of her had rippled, like a stone had dropped into some water. But then it had passed, leaving Jules alone with nothing but aching hands and complete and utter confusion and uncertainty. She had picked up her phone to call Jasper quite a few times since their fight, especially when another one of his texts came in. But she still couldn't bring herself to do it. He hadn't cared about all of the creepy shit before, and she didn't want to call him crying about it now. She didn't want an apology over text, or even the phone. She wanted him in front of her, begging her forgiveness. But even then... Jules really didn't know how to feel.
So she had spent a lot of time crying in her bedroom, like a total pathetic loser. She couldn't call her friends, because they all expected this to happen eventually. And the people she did feel the urge to call probably wouldn't understand any of it. It was unusual for Jules to feel completely alone, but she did. She had a perpetual headache from the steady flow of tears. Her eyes were red and puffy and she hadn't even bothered with makeup for the last few days. Jules hadn't gone anywhere anyway. It wasn't like she had a car to drive. Her mom had left that morning to go to the police station to nag the sheriff about Edward for a while, and Jules had taken a hot shower, trying to alleviate some of the pressure she was feeling in her face from crying and lack of sleep. She knew it wasn't all because of Jasper, but a lot of it was, and she hated him for it. Jules Cooper did not cry over boys. She could walk outside and get any boy she wanted, if she wanted to do that. All she could do was hope he was as miserable as she was. That made her feel a little bit better, at least.
Her hands had begun to throb in the shower and Jules had sucked in a sharp breath, closing her eyes and begging under her breath for the pain to go away. In time it did, and she dried off with some relief before pulling on a comfortable pair of leggings and a sweater. She didn't bother brushing her hair, tying it up in a messy bun and leaving it be. She had to get her shit together before school started again. Winter formal was coming up, and no one was going to vote her Winter Queen if she looked like death warmed over. Fuck.
Wandering downstairs she began to search the cabinets for something quick to eat when the doorbell rang. Jules inhaled sharply, already imagining like, all the cop cars in town parked outside, and Sheriff Barrett standing there at the door, ready to arrest her for killing her stepdad. Only... Ruby had done that, not Jules. And her mom would have called her if... "Stop it, you idiot," she muttered to herself. For some reason it took her by surprise to look out the peephole and see Jasper standing there. "Fucking fuck, fuck, fuck," Jules hissed. He could have at least warned her, so she wouldn't have looked so terrible. If she'd had warning, she could have made herself look incredible. Then he would know she was fine without him, thank you very much. "Fuck," she moaned before closing her eyes and resting her head against the door. She could leave him out there. Let him freeze to death or something. That would teach him.
Sighing, Jules unlocked the door and opened it. She kept her hand on the doorknob and tried to shove the other into her pocket, but then she realized her sweater didn't have one, so it fell limply at her side. Jules found she couldn't really do much but stand there and stare at him expectantly. He had stuff in his hands, clearly for her, probably, but she wasn't going to fawn over him for it. Not yet, anyway.
Jules looked messy and upset when she opened the door, and while that wasn’t really a surprise for Jasper, it did make his heart ache a little worse. In his mind, Jules put makeup on every morning unless things were really wrong. He’d been a mess himself, steadily except for that short reprieve with Logan, but Jasper being a mess usually involved less crying, so he looked normal. Except for the healing split knuckles on his right hand that had come from punching the wall after kicking Jules out of the house. She didn’t say anything, just gave him that cold stare, and he wet his lips as his nerves kicked up again. What if she didn’t believe that he hadn’t felt like himself that day? What if she thought the idea it was connected to the monster scratch was stupid? What if she just never wanted to talk to him again? Jasper tried to shove all that down and just take his licks like a man and try to make her understand what had gone wrong with him, even if he didn’t really understand it himself. “Hey,” he pushed out, the word quiet and a little rusty. Jasper cleared his throat. “Um ... can we talk? Please?”
She wished she had been tempted to say no and slam the door in his face, but even at her most angry Jules knew that deep down she would let him inside, if he decided to come over. So Jules stepped back so Jasper could come into the house. Her mom wasn't home, so Jules led him into the living room. She refused to take him upstairs to her bedroom, because it would be too easy to forgive him if he got her onto her bed and stuff. Since her mom had turned on the fireplace that morning before she left, Jules walked over to stand by it, her arms crossed against her chest. She already knew what he wanted to talk about, so it seemed silly to ask him that question. Instead she felt the question bubble up in her throat before she could stop it. "What the fuck, Jasper?"
Jasper followed her, scuffing his feet on the mats on either side of the door as much as possible. The house felt overly hot, and Jasper was sure he could still smell bleach. That was probably his imagination, but it was there. He didn’t take his coat off, just unbuttoned it; nor did he sit down, just put the plastic container of cake and the small bag from Belladonna down on the coffee table. He wiped his hands against his legs before stuffing them into the front pocket of the hoodie he had under his thicker coat. They were practically numb as he tangled his fingers together, feeling like a kid getting into trouble. “I know,” he muttered, giving her a hangdog look. “It was all ... really fuckin’ bad. And I don’t have a good explanation, Jules, just ... theories and stuff. Because I didn’t feel like myself that day at all, all day long, even after you left. It was like the same mood that happened that Saturday, only way worse. I was out of control, everything felt ... crazy. I think I’m like ... infected with something. I know how stupid that sounds, but there’s something wrong, for real. But I’m not trying to excuse it,” he hurried to add. “I’m so fuckin’ sorry, I can’t even say.”
Jules brought her hand up to pressed against the side of her face as she struggled to keep her frustration from exploding in the form of a scream. She had known on some level that Jasper hadn't been himself, that something had been wrong. But he had insisted he was fine, had practically thrown her out of his house. And she had been dealing with her own shit too, on top of that. Was she allowed to be angry with him, if there was really something going on? She couldn't exactly switch off her feelings. But it was an excuse, even if he said it wasn't. If he was infected with something, what was she supposed to do? Hold that against him? Jules lowered her hand to her side, the other still nestled beneath her breasts. "I don't know what to say. I'm sorry, but... I'm still really fucking angry. You were worse than the worst asshole. And if you knew something was wrong, if you had theories and stuff, why did you wait until today to come talk to me? I just... now I feel like if I don't forgive you for what you did, then I'm some kind of bitch."
It had only been a handful of days, but Jasper had figured she would hold it against him that he’d waited. He’d just felt so fucked up about everything, he hadn’t known what to do, and Jules wasn’t answering his texts ... “I figured you didn’t want to talk to me,” he muttered, aware she wouldn’t accept that. She always expected him to know exactly what to say and do when she was upset, like he had a Jules Handbook to tell him how to fix shit and just ignored it. “You weren’t answering anything I sent you, and I didn’t wanna like ... make trouble with your mom by showing up, and make you more pissed at me. And I only started getting theories like, yesterday.” Jasper desperately wanted her to forgive him, but he knew he couldn’t make her, she had every right to still be angry at him. Even if he didn’t technically deserve it for the shit he’d done that day, he definitely deserved it for Logan, so it felt kind of right. “It doesn’t make you a bitch, I don’t think that,” he said. “Stay mad if you want. I just ... wanted you to know it wasn’t how I wanted to act. It wasn’t all me.”
As badly as she had wanted him to show up and be apologetic, now that he was actually there Jules was feeling anxious and frustrated. She knew it wasn't all his fault, but there was some part of her that felt like she couldn't tell him what was going on. If he was infected with something making him act like a crazy asshole... he didn't need her crap on top of that too, right? And she knew he was right about the text messages, but what could she have said to him? Fuck off? Leave me alone? Jules had been afraid if she texted him, those words would have come out. Seeing him changed that, because she knew she couldn't say it and mean it.
"I don't want to stay mad," Jules said, because who wanted to stay mad? It was exhausting. "But you... maybe it wasn't you, but you called me a dumb bitch, Jasper. You pretty much like... made it sound like I was fucking around with Neil and the others because I happened to be at his place talking about shit. You know I would never do that. Not only to you, but like... ever." She paused, trying not to appear too antsy, even if that's how she felt. "Stuff is just like... spiraling. I feel like I needed you, and you just..." She waved her hand, because she couldn't find the right word and she was definitely starting to feel the overwhelming weight of everything. Jules covered her face for a moment to breathe before she rallied. Just fuck it. Fuck everything. She took a breath and lowered her hands again. "What's going on then? What kind of infection do you think you have?"
Jasper felt torn between guilt and his own frustration. She had needed him, and he’d done worse than blow her off. But it hadn’t been him, not really. He could remember doing and saying all the shit he’d done and said, and he could remember the overwhelming feeling of jealousy and how that had seemed like the Most Important Thing, but none of it made sense to him anymore. He knew Jules wasn’t fucking around with those guys. He knew what she was going through was terrifying and important. If she’d come to him with the same thing today, he knew he would act completely differently. It was such a crazy-ass feeling. But she was still going to hold it against him, obviously, which sucked, but maybe he deserved that.
“I know you would never do that, I know it wasn’t like that,” he said, trying to keep his tone calm. It was hard at the moment, not to get defensive. “And I wanna hear about what you all talked about, I really do. I care, Jules, I want you to tell me stuff. Which makes how I felt that day even more ... fucking insane. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t stop it. My brain just ... wasn’t right.” He heaved a sigh. It sounded like such bullshit, even to him, but he didn’t know how else to explain it. “I don’t know what it is,” Jasper muttered, feeling like they should be talking about her more than him now. “But I think it came from the scratch. It’s completely healed, there’s only a scar there now, and I know that’s not natural. And twice now, there’s been these moods I can’t control ...” He trailed off, realizing that was all he had, and Jasper looked a little desperate all of the sudden. “You gotta believe me, baby, I didn’t -- I didn’t mean to treat you like that.”
Jules had definitely known that his wound had healed amazingly fast. If she hadn't noticed on her own she would have when he accused her of bringing those monsters into the world. And maybe she had. Jules wasn't entirely sure anymore. Her gaze ticked to his shoulder, like she would be able to see it through his clothes. What if those monsters had done something to him? What if there was some kind of... venom in their claws or something? Would he turn into one? Jules frowned and tugged absently at her sleeves. "I know," she said, her voice hoarse with emotion before she cleared her throat and nodded. "I know you wouldn't." It had been torture, thinking maybe they had broken up, that he really thought she was dumb, or a bitch, or... Jules could feel tears filling her eyes and she wiped at them impatiently. She didn't want to be mad, especially when she knew deep in her gut that he was telling her the truth. She just missed him. And it probably said a lot about her emotional growth or whatever that making him pay for treating her bad was exhausting and not fun at all, the way it had been with previous boyfriends. "What if I did that?" Jules's voice cracked again as she motioned to his shoulder. "What if that is my fault, whatever’s happening to you now?"
Jasper felt a painful tug at his heart and he stepped forward, his hands coming out of his hoodie pocket. “No, Jules,” he said, his tone low and full of feeling. “There’s no way, how could you? None of this is your fault. And fuck, I’m so fuckin’ sorry I said that.” He got close to her and moved to wrap his arms around her, though he was ready to back off at the first sign that she didn’t want to be touched. He’d said a few awful things to her that he really wished he could take back -- not to mention the way he’d grabbed and pulled her. He just wanted to put everything behind them and make up so they could get back to shouldering all this together. It was all over Jasper’s head -- he couldn’t help her, but he could support her. And vice versa. Jasper had felt ten times as lost for the past few days, he hated it. They needed each other.
Jules wanted to be touched and hugged and she slipped her arms around him too, burying her face against his hoodie. Even if he had said and done hurtful things, he was still there now. And he hadn't really meant anything he'd said. There was some crazy influence there, because of course there was. This stupid, dumb town. Really, Jules wanted to believe that it hadn't been her, or Nic, or Neil or Carson, but it might have been. In a way, she preferred not knowing for sure. "I missed you," she whispered against his shirt. "I'm sorry." Jules didn't really know what she was apologizing for. Not answering his texts, or calls? Not knowing what was wrong with him, or how to help? It could be so many things. But she knew she needed him, and she didn't think she could do any of this without him.
It was such a relief when Jules held him back, Jasper’s nose stung a bit with emotion. He wrapped her up tight in his arms, one hand moving to cradle the back of her head, his thumb stroking the hair at the base of her ponytail. “Please don’t be,” he murmured softly to her. “You didn’t do anything. I’m sorry.” What had happened wasn’t really Jasper’s fault either, at least he was pretty sure it wasn’t, but he sure as hell had more to be sorry for than she did. “I missed you too,” Jasper whispered. “I’ve felt so fucked up since then.” He tried not to think about the time when he had actually felt good, he was putting that out of his mind. Jasper turned his head to press his lips against Jules’s head.
"Me too," she murmured, holding him tightly. Jules knew Jasper couldn't help her in the way he would want to, but it would have definitely been a little bit easier on her if she'd had him there to talk to. And maybe she could have helped him too... at least after Wednesday. Because there was no way she would have been able to get through to him that day, not with how his mood had been. But Jasper was there now and she just wanted to hold onto him for a while. The last few days had been miserable. "Is there anyone we can talk to about your shoulder?" she asked finally, still resting her cheek against his chest. Jules didn't want to pull away yet. He just felt so good. Warm and solid, like her Jasper was back.
Jasper was more than fine with hanging onto each other. It felt like it was needed on both sides. Guilt over the thing with Logan was still gnawing at his stomach, but Jasper did his best to ignore it. It had happened, it was over, there wasn’t much else he could do now. It would only hurt Jules, so there was no reason for her to know. She wouldn’t understand. He just wanted to forget everything and move on now. So he kept holding her and gently petting her hair, starting to get overheated in his coat next to the fire, but not wanting to move away enough to take it off. “I dunno,” Jasper murmured in answer. “There’s ... Elodie. She’s the only other one I know who got hurt. Maybe she can at least say if she’s ... felt the same thing, you know? But I dunno who could do anything about it. Maybe one of the witches ...”
Elodie. Blech. Jules wrinkled her nose a bit but then she pulled back to look at Jasper, her arms still wrapped around him. "I know she sucks, but you should ask her anyway. I mean, maybe just to see if her moods have been affected? Unless she's just crazy and wouldn't recognize if they were." As she spoke Jules's brows lifted as she remembered something. "Wait, Bash's mom got hurt too. Maybe I can ask him if she was acting not like herself on Wednesday when you were. Or maybe... any day since the fog. Then maybe you won't have to ask Elodie... unless you want to. And they're witches, so maybe he'd know something more." It was a plan at least, even if nothing big came from it. Any information was better than none, and Jules didn't want Jasper to get worse or something. What if his moods went so off the rails that he tried to hurt himself?
Oh right, Sebastian was a witch too. Jasper tended to forget that for some reason. He hadn’t known that Mrs. McCarthy got hurt, but why would he? They hadn’t even been back to the school rumor mill yet, fuck. School felt like a completely different world now. “Yeah, ask him when you can,” he murmured to Jules, his eyes roaming over her beautiful face. Even sans makeup and with puffy eyes, she was gorgeous. “I’d love to never talk to that bitch again if I can avoid it.” He was of the same mind -- some information was better than nothing. “Oh, fuck,” he said suddenly, wincing a bit. “I forgot, my grandpa got hurt too. I don’t love talking to him either, but I can ask him. Or my grandma, maybe she’s noticed a change.” He’d forgotten that with Logan too, he needed to stop doing that.
Jules nodded. "I'll ask Bash, and you can ask your grandma. Maybe between the two of them we can figure something out. I mean... if we have to ask a witch to help, we can do that too, right? Bash might not know what to do, but maybe he'll know someone who does. Or Reagan Kelly, since you got your hex bags from her." Lot of good those things have done. Whatever. Jules looked down at his hoodie and only then realized he was still wearing his coat. Of course he was. He probably hadn't known if Jules would kick him out or not. "You can take that off," she told him, reluctantly releasing him so he could without her hindering the process. "I mean, if you want to stay for a little bit. Mom won't be home for a while." And even if Margaret came home while Jasper was there, oh well. Her mom was going to have to get used to Jasper's presence. "Does your dad know about any of this? Your arm healing and everything?"
Jasper would’ve kept standing there and sweated if it made Jules happy, but he was glad to strip out of his thick overcoat. He still had a hoodie underneath, but that was more cozy than overly hot. Of course he wanted to stay, he wanted to stay for as long as he was able. It had sucked so hard being away from Jules for days, he needed as much time as she would let him have. Jasper shook his head as he moved to drape his coat over the back of a nearby chair. “I haven’t talked to him, no,” he said. “Amelia knows though, so I dunno if she’s told him anything.” She knew about the ‘accident’ with Edward too, but Jasper didn’t want to bring that up yet. There was so much to catch up on. “Here, by the way,” he murmured, feeling a little sheepish and he picked up the plastic cake box and the bag from Belladonna. He’d found some nice soap and lotion that was supposed to be good for your skin, he guessed. It smelled good, anyway, and the bits of the label he’d scanned sounded good. Most of that stuff was Greek to Jasper. “I wanted to bring you somethin’.”
Jules thought maybe Jasper should talk to his dad. She knew they didn't have the best relationship, but it seemed like his dad knew about this weird stuff, and maybe he would be able to find someone to help Jasper better than Jules could. When Jasper moved to pick up the stuff he had brought her, Jules quickly brushed her hands over her eyes, wishing she didn't look like a hot mess. "You really didn't have to do that," she told him, taking the bag and peering inside. She did love Belladonna though. Not that Jasper had to buy her anything to make things right. But it was still sweet of him to make the effort. "Thank you," she told him before pressing a kiss to his lips. Then Jules smiled a bit. "I probably shouldn't eat cake for breakfast, but I'll save it. Maybe hide it so mom doesn't get to it first."
Jasper wasn’t sure that Gavin could help him at all, and knowing that his son had some weird fog-monster shit going on as well as his dad might just cause a bunch of useless worry. He knew some witches, but they hadn’t been able to do anything about Amelia going missing, had they? He guessed he ought to keep his family up to date on the bullshit, just in case, but ... whatever. It could wait. Jasper smiled faintly at the kiss and nodded a bit. “Just for sometime,” he murmured. “Thought it’d be better than a chocolate box or whatever.” He hesitated for a moment, one hand resting on her hip, then raised an eyebrow. “You wanna go upstairs and get comfortable, and you can tell me what’s going on with you? With the dreams and stuff.”
Fifteen minutes ago she would have definitely said no. But even if things weren't perfect now, they felt better, and it's not like she could talk to him down here in the living room, especially if her mom came home. So Jules nodded, carrying her cake and bag from Belladonna as she led him towards the stairs. She maybe felt a little trepidation about telling him what was going on, because of his reaction on Wednesday. But she knew it hadn't really been him. But how would he react to all of the other stuff? What if it freaked him out? Once they were upstairs Jules set the bag and cake down on her desk. "I don't know even where to start, because it feels like there's a lot, but it's all like... confusing in my head. Um... I told you on Wednesday a little bit about it... how Neil realized he could like, make lightning or something with his hands? I guess that was new, and he and Jane had been kidnapped as kids and experimented on at this facility. The same one my dad worked at," she said, rubbing her palms absently against her thighs. “They thought me and Carson might have something like that too... and maybe Nic, but he's like, a witch already so anything he can do is probably tied into that. That might have been why we all had these shared dreams."
Jasper quickly kicked his boots off so he wouldn’t be tracking anything anywhere deeper into the house, and carried them up with them. He set them down next to Jules’s door just in case he had to make a quick exit, then reached back to tug his hoodie off as well. Once he was more comfortable, he crawled onto Jules’s bed to settle in, listening to her talk. He didn’t remember much of what she’d told him Wednesday, his infected brain had just latched onto the idea that Jules had been alone with a bunch of older men. It seemed so fucking stupid to him now, so he was sure to pay close attention this time. Not that it made a lot of sense to him yet. “So ...” he said slowly, trying to put all that together. “Your dad worked at a place that experimented on kids, and Neil and Jane were two of those kids ... but the other two weren’t?” Jasper looked kind of skeptical. “If that was the connection, why would it spread to them and you?”
"I don't know," Jules said, shrugging helplessly. "I think they thought maybe we were hiding something from them? They didn't know about my dad. I mean, Carson did, but the others didn't. Neil got really pale when I told them. I think maybe like... if my dad was someone who helped do things to them..." It made her stomach hurt. She had put her dad on this pedestal, despite not remembering him at all. It was rough to think maybe he wasn't a good person. Jules walked over to sit down on the bed by Jasper, otherwise she would start pacing and never stop. "Carson said he couldn't do anything Neil and Jane could do. Nic either, I mean, not in the sense that it might connect everyone. But Jane? She had drawn a picture of the thing she saw in our dreams, before the fog came in. The thing in our dreams were the monsters people saw in the fog." Jules paused, tugging her sleeves down over her hands again in a nervous sort of gesture. "After you asked if it was my fault that those things were out there and hurt you... I had no reason to think it was our fault. But now I don't know. Maybe it was. If not all of us then like, maybe I did it myself, without knowing it."
So the monsters from the dreams were the same ones in the fog. Jules had been dreaming about the thing that had scratched Jasper and killed a bunch of other people. It was a heavy thing to think about, big and scary enough to make him feel pretty damn helpless. What did you do about interdimensional fog beasts or whatever the fuck they were? Jasper scooted in closer to slip his arm around Jules when she sat down. The last part made him frown even more thoughtfully. “How could you do it yourself?” he asked in a low murmur, hoping he hadn’t put that idea in her head somehow by being an asshole. “I don’t ... it was such a huge fucking thing, I don’t see how even all of you together could’ve done it without knowing it. Maybe it was more like ... a warning, you know? And you just didn’t know how to read it.”
"Maybe," Jules said, because that sounded a lot better than anything else that had been going through her head. The urge was strong to leave it at that, to not tell him about her hands, or what she and Greg had seen. In a way, it would be like protecting him, because he had enough to worry about and she didn't have any answers anyway. But at the same time, Jules had felt lost without him since Wednesday, and the only person she had wanted to talk to and get comfort from was Jasper. Besides, Jules knew something like this wouldn't stay a secret. What if her hands started to hurt when he was with her? What if something happened with him the way it had with Greg? Jules brushed some of her hair back from her face and she glanced at him before looking down at the tips of her fingers that continued to pull idly at her sleeves. "When I left your house on Wednesday... I was driving home and my hands started to hurt. Like, a lot. It felt like they had been cut open. I accidentally ran off the road, that's why my car isn't out front. I don't know if they'll be able to fix it or not. But... I wasn't thinking about that because my hands were just... I don't know what happened, but the woods that line the street sort of... bled all the color out. It was like a black and white painting, you know? And there was this thing that appeared inside of them, this weird white creature thing with..."
Jules shook her head, because just talking about it made her skin crawl and she didn't want to focus on that. "Greg Wheeler was driving by and saw me. He got out and helped me out of my car, but he could see everything too. The thing in the woods was like... dancing behind trees, coming towards us, but like... I don't know, Jasper. It's like I opened up this weird dimension and then closed it again, before that thing could come out of the woods." Jules wrinkled her nose. "Oh my god, it sounds so made up, doesn't it? Like it's too crazy to ever be true. But I swear it happened. Greg will tell you."
That was a lot to take in. For one, Jasper felt a surge of alarm that Jules had been in a car accident. He’d noticed that her car wasn’t in the driveway, but he’d been so preoccupied with why he was there, he hadn’t given it much thought. And it had happened after she’d left his place, where he’d been a complete asshole to her and she was probably upset and reckless because of him -- but the rest of what she had to say flooded in and brought even more emotions with it. He listened, his arm still around her back, his concerned eyes on her face. If he’d been anyone else, or it had been six months ago? Jasper might not have believed her at all. But he’d seen and experienced so much crazy shit now, his mind was cracked wide open.
“I believe you, I do,” he said first to soothe that particular worry. Jasper rubbed her back a bit. He didn’t need to ask Greg Wheeler shit, if Jules said it happened, then he believed that it happened. “Hell ... my sister got pulled into some other world and then came back ten years older, so ... yeah. Hard not to believe in shit, after that.” Jasper gave a faint chuckle, but the amusement didn’t last long. “You think ... your hands did it, though? That you like ... opened something up for a minute?” That seemed to be what she was saying. Jasper glanced down at Jules’s small hands and tried to imagine them doing anything destructive, and he couldn’t.
"Yes." Jules's voice cracked and she cleared her throat before lifting up her hands. "They look fine. They don't hurt now. They just... tingle. It's like, constant. Some days they're aching? Like something is beneath the skin messing around in there. Before I wrecked my car, it was like they were torn open, on fire or something, it hurt so bad I barely noticed my air bag going off. But it was my hands, I know it was. Nothing came out of them. No lights, no fire, nothing that would like... open a freaking dimension, but it happened. Then Greg was trying to stay calm, but I know he was freaking out because that thing was not human, or even an animal. And I just... I was already angry and upset and scared and I like, used my hands to close it up and everything went back to normal." Jules exhaled and rested her head against Jasper, lowering her hands to her lap again. "I told Carson, but I don't know who else to tell, or if I should. Maybe it won't happen again. But what if I'm sitting in school and it does? Like... what if I opened up some fog dimension in my sleep? I just don't know. I'm a fucking freak," she muttered.
Jasper’s hand moved to pet her head again as she let it drop to his shoulder. That sounded terrifying and fucked up, and he felt some more stabs of guilt that he hadn’t even known it had happened. Hell, he probably helped to cause it. Would it still have happened if Jasper had been rational and listened to what she had to say and comforted her and they hadn’t had a fight? Maybe he was wrong, but some instinct told him no. That Jules’s heightened emotions had been a factor in what had happened. If she hadn’t closed it in time ... fuck, he didn’t want to think about that. “You are not,” he protested softly. “Don’t say that. At least ... at least it sounds like the pain will give you a warning, right? If they hurt really bad before the ... thing opened, then maybe you can’t just ... do it in your sleep, you know? And at least now you know you can close them up again.” Maybe it was lame, but he was at least trying to see the positives in this situation. It felt like they really had to. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he added in a mumble, kissing her head again. “And I’m sorry I ... pushed you to that point.”
Jules had no idea how it really worked, but she wanted to believe him that she couldn't do anything scary in her sleep. Except for share dreams with three guys. And sleepwalking. But if she couldn't do this in her sleep, then there was no way she let those fog monsters out... and Jules wanted desperately to believe that, so she wasn't going to argue with Jasper at all. It felt good to have him there and for the first time in several days, she could feel herself start to relax. Even if he was just trying to see the silver lining in everything to make her feel better, Jules appreciated it. But when he blamed himself for it, Jules frowned and lifted her face up to look at him. "You didn't. I mean... I know I was emotional and everything, but that doesn't mean it was your fault. It might have happened whether we had a fight or not. I don't blame you for it, Jasper, so... I don't want you thinking it was your fault either."
He wasn’t exactly blaming himself completely, but he had the feeling if he’d been in his right mind and hadn’t upset her, it at least wouldn’t have happened right then. Or she at least wouldn’t have crashed her damn car. It was sweet of Jules to say it wasn’t his fault though, and he gave her a faint smile and kissed her forehead. “It’s nobody’s fault,” he murmured. “Just something we gotta get through together.” He moved one hand up to brush some blonde hair out of Jules’s face, then pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “I love you,” he said softly, not pulling back very far at all. “I wish I could fix it. But I’m here for you, I really am.”
"I love you too," Jules said. She shifted a bit to put her arms around him, not caring how awkward the position was. "And we'll figure out what's happening to you too, okay? Like, with your shoulder." Because there could be something really wrong there. And Jules didn't want it to get worse. It just felt like a big clusterfuck of stuff happening all at once. Jules felt ill-equipped to deal with any of it. She was seventeen. How was she even going to go back to school on Monday and not freak the fuck out? "Can you like, stay for a while?" Jules asked, trying not to sound clingy or needy or anything, but three days apart had felt like forever, and she just wanted to hang onto him for a while longer.
Jasper nodded against her at the first part, slipping his arms around her as best he could with how they were sitting. He wasn’t sure what they could figure out about whatever was going on with him, or who could possibly help ... but Jasper was going to try not to be pessimistic out loud. Especially with Jules now going through some bizarre shit of her own. Worse bizarre shit. God, he wished they could just take all this and shove it at some other people. School seemed like a completely different universe at the moment. “I can stay as long as you want,” he confirmed, nuzzling her a little. There was nowhere else he wanted to be at the moment, even with that shadow of guilt still coloring his emotions. She’d been dealing with all of this alone while he was getting off with Logan? Fuck. Jasper would just have to do better going forward. Never again. “You’re all that matters to me today.”
Jules hadn't been sleeping well, but it felt like she could curl up beside Jasper and not wake up again for the next twenty four hours or so. Maybe this was all she really needed to get her shit together. Tomorrow she could make a plan and try to figure this stuff out, and that would keep her going. But today she just wanted to be with her boyfriend. They were both dealing with some creepy stuff, but it kind of felt like as long as they stayed together, they would be okay. As long as his mood didn't shift terribly and her hands didn't open some creepy portal to another dimension. "Want to lay down for a bit?" Jules murmured. "We could watch a movie. Or I could make some food or something, if you're hungry." Her mom would just have to deal with Jasper being here. Jules wasn't going to make him leave, and if her mom tried to, Jules would just go with him.
He could pretty much always eat, but Jasper wasn’t starving, and he didn’t want them to have to go back downstairs or anything until they had to. Since he hadn’t parked in the driveway, he hoped Jules’s mom would just come home and go about her business and be none the wiser that he was there at all. Jasper wanted to stay under her radar, if only to save Jules the headache. “I’m not hungry, let’s just stretch out,” he told her gently. Jasper kissed her face again and then let her go so they could get more comfortable. Dozing with his girl while a movie played in the background sounded like absolute heaven to him at the moment. They both needed that kind of peace now that they’d straightened shit out between them. Jasper got repositioned on the bed and held his arms open for Jules to join him.
Well, even if they got hungry, they had chocolate cake, right? Jules grabbed the television remote from her nightstand and moved into Jasper's arms. It was amazing how quickly she was able to get comfortable. "Whatever you want," she said, offering him the remote. She wasn't sure how long she would even be awake. Resting her cheek against his chest, Jules felt a small smile curve at her lips. He still smelled incredible, and felt incredible and she never wanted to fight with him ever again. "I'm glad you came over," she murmured. "I missed you." Jules knew he already knew that, but she still wanted him to know. More than anything she just wanted to pretend like Wednesday never happened.
It felt lovely and right to lounge with Jules and feel the soft press of her body against his. Logan had given him affection when he’d needed it, but this was what he really needed. He loved Jules in a way he was pretty sure he could never love anyone else. Jasper trailed his fingertips lightly against her back as he started lazily flipping channels with the other hand. He would find something suitable to use as background noise and then likely fall the fuck asleep again, to truly rest this time. “I missed you too,” he murmured, pressing another soft kiss against Jules’s forehead. “I’m glad you let me in. Next time let’s just bicker about where to eat, yeah?” Jasper smirked faintly.
Jules closed her eyes, but smiled. "Uh huh. And I promise not to wake you up next time it's super early. Or a little early, anyway." That hadn't been the issue, and they both knew that, but she wanted him to know that she had forgiven him for real. If she noticed a sharp change in his attitude again, she would find a way to help him, now that she knew something weird was going on. Hopefully it wouldn't happen again, but knowing their luck, it would. That was just how things happened here anymore. Not that she wanted to think about that anymore. She just wanted to hold onto Jasper and sleep. Jules pressed a kiss against his chest and settled again. Everything would be okay. Probably. Maybe.