Who: Mila and Aaron When: Late morning, Wednesday, January 3 Where: Mila’s parents’ house Status: Complete Warning turns NSFW
When Mila woke up that morning she felt groggy and full of prickly anxiety that she couldn’t quite pinpoint. A hot shower had helped a little, and when she headed downstairs for coffee, she found a note from her parents that they had gone to have brunch with Poppy Harris and they would be back closer to noon. There was a small addition to the bottom of the note, asking Mila not to leave without letting them know first. Taking her mother’s car the day before had sent Maria into a tailspin when she arrived home. Not because Mila had taken the car, but because Mila had been gone.
Sighing, Mila started the coffee and was pulling down a coffee cup from the cabinet when Aaron called. Seeing his name on her phone sent her anxiety spiking, but when she answered he sounded sober and remorseful, and he wanted to come over to talk. Mila agreed, because she didn’t want Aaron to think she was angry with him. Maybe Adrian had spoken to him already. She hoped so, because Mila was feeling so ill-equipped for any of this.
While the coffee brewed, Mila hurried upstairs to at least brush her teeth, and her hair. She was still in her pajamas, but she didn’t think Aaron would care. And she was back in the kitchen sipping that first hot sip of coffee when the knock came at the door. Feeling anxious and anticipatory all at once, she walked to the front of the house and opened the door for him with a small smile she couldn’t really feel.
“Hi,” she greeted, thankful that her parents weren’t home. This might be difficult enough without her mother hovering.
It had taken a lot of self-hype for Aaron to call Mila, even though he’d texted her the night before under Adrian’s advice. It was a relief that Mila wanted to talk to him at all, but he was still nervous as he got dressed and got into the truck to go over there. Aaron swung by a gas station between their houses and picked out the least-wilted small bundle of roses he could find in the fridge. They didn’t look great, because it was fucking January, but it was better than nothing. He was relieved to see that Mila’s parents’ car was gone, because he did not want to see them.
He smiled faintly back at Mila when she opened the door, and offered the little half-dozen bouquet out to her. “Hey,” he said. Aaron looked tired and rumpled, but he was stone-cold sober. His chest hurt quite a bit, but he was determined not to cover that up with anything anymore. Hurt wouldn’t kill him, but losing Mila would. He stepped inside the house, careful to give her room in case she didn’t want him to touch her.
Mila instinctively smiled when he offered her the roses. She loved flowers, no matter what month it was. These were pretty, and more than anything, they came from Aaron. She had a brief moment of panic that he might be angry with her for taking his pain medication. Was he in pain now? He didn't look upset with her, so she was able to breathe and relax a little. "Thank you," she told him, closing the door behind him. She held the roses to her chest with one hand, her coffee with the other, and began to lead him back towards the kitchen. "Do you want some coffee?" Mila asked, grateful to have something to do now. Finding a vase for the flowers and all of that would keep her hands busy.
Aaron followed once he’d thoroughly wiped his feet off, tucking his hands into his coat pockets. “Yeah, that would be great,” he murmured, glancing around the kitchen when they entered it. He knew he probably ought to take his boots and coat off, but he wasn’t sure yet how long he would be staying, so he just unzipped the latter and took a seat at the kitchen table. Aaron was quiet as he watched Mila move around the counter, not sure how he should launch into what they needed to talk about. He wanted to see her eyes when he said he was sorry.
Mila poured Aaron his coffee, adding in the sugar and a little bit of creamer before she walked over to hand it to him. "Let me get the roses in some water really fast," she said. That would prolong this a little, but it would delay any uncomfortableness. Mila pulled the roses from the plastic wrapping and used the kitchen scissors to snip the ends before filling one of her mother's extra vases. When the flowers were resting in the water, Mila brought them over to set them down in the middle of the table before she took a seat with her own cooling coffee. Then she took a breath and looked at Aaron. "How are you feeling?"
He half-smiled, aware that the roses looked pretty crappy and probably weren’t worth the effort to put them in a vase and take care of them. Aaron appreciated that she was doing it though, like she really valued his gift to her. He murmured a thanks for the coffee and took a sip as Mila sat down with him. His mind went blank at her question, because he really wasn’t sure how to answer it right away. He was feeling ashamed of himself but grateful but worried but in pain at the same time. Aaron let out a sheepish little huff. “Well ... I dunno,” he murmured. He wasn’t able to hold her gaze for very long, his eyes wandering after a few seconds. “Really stupid and sorry, right now.” He glanced at her. “Are you okay?”
Like Aaron, Mila didn't know how to answer either. Worried, and sad, and anxious... about so many things, Aaron included. "I'm sorry too," Mila murmured, even if he wasn't necessarily apologizing to her. "I mean... I'm sorry about... a lot of things. But I'm not sorry about... taking your pills. I didn't..." She blew out a frustrated breath, hating that she didn't feel very articulate at the moment. Mila didn't want to upset him by saying the wrong thing. "I'm sorry, Aaron. I feel like I should have known you were in a lot of pain." She felt like she let him down on some level, even if she was aware that it was an irrational thing, given what she had gone through. But Mila felt like she should have seen it more.
Aaron hand one big hand curled around his mug, and the other was lightly tapping fingertips on the tabletop. He nodded a little at the bit about not being sorry for taking his meds. Perhaps Aaron should have been more upset about that, because he was still in a lot of physical pain, but he’d rejected them when Adrian had offered to give them back, so he couldn’t really say much. He probably ought to be grateful that she’d taken them. Aaron dropped his gaze to the table again; he was in a lot of pain, of all kinds, but he hadn’t wanted to put any of that on Mila. “I didn’t want you to know,” he admitted quietly. “You feel bad enough already.” And he’d gone and made her feel worse, his dumb secret revealed in a bad way, and now he felt awful about it. “Like I told Adrian ... I’m not gonna take ‘em anymore. I told him to keep the bottle.”
Mila knew he needed something. He had to be hurting. But she didn't want it to be something he got addicted to. Not something he would mix with alcohol. The Lucas family had a very long and detailed history of addiction and Mila didn't want Aaron to fall victim to it too. "I feel bad for a lot of reasons, but I would never want you to hide your pain from me. Especially when I'm... the cause of it." She had to force the words past the emotion that suddenly clogged her throat. If he developed a problem it would be her fault. "I know how hard this has to be on you, and I don't think it was fair for me to depend on you so much being back. It's added pain for you, Aaron. I feel like it was too much and I just didn't see it."
It wasn’t that Aaron didn’t understand her concern about it, he knew as well as anyone how his family was about abusing substances. He’d never thought of himself as an addict, but he also hadn’t thought much about how dangerous it was to mix the Oxy with alcohol. Adrian had made those possible consequences pretty damn clear. He sighed and pulled his hands down to rub the palms against his pants. “It’s not your fault, Mila,” he murmured. He hated it when she said that. Even if his suffering was because of everything that had happened to her, she hadn’t been the cause of it. She’d been more of a victim than he had. “I want you to be able to depend on me. I just ... it’s all hard to deal with, you know? I’m trying.” He had a miserable sinking feeling in his stomach that she would want to break up with him now, she wouldn’t believe he could do better and still support her.
"I know," Mila said, looking down into her coffee for a moment. It was difficult to protest that it was her fault. She had stabbed him. She had nearly killed him. He wouldn't be in this much pain had it not been for her. And Mila knew this was hard to deal with. She knew he was still suffering and trying to handle his own trauma. And yes, Mila felt bad that she had been so wrapped up in her own that she hadn't realized it. To Mila, it wasn't a question as to who suffered more. She wanted to be okay, and she wanted Aaron to be okay too. Nothing else mattered. "But we can deal with this together," Mila told him, reaching over to take his hand in hers. "If you'll be honest with me, Aaron. I need to know what I can do to help you." Mila still wasn't sure she could be everything he probably needed, and that terrified her. She couldn’t numb his pain like his Oxy. But she needed him, and she loved him, and she couldn't bear the thought that he was keeping his suffering from her.
When she said ‘together,’ warm relief spread through Aaron’s stomach. They may not do any of it perfectly, they may not be able to fix everything for each other, but as long as they were together, they could try. That was what he kept telling himself, anyway. Aaron didn’t see any other way forward. Aaron squeezed Mila’s fingers gently, giving her a twitch of a half-smile. Being honest was hard, because he still didn’t want to burden Mila with his shit when she had so much on her already. Aaron knew he would have to get over that, though, because she knew now, and maybe hearing things from him was better than letting her worried imagination run away with her. “Just ... don’t give up on me,” he murmured, rubbing his thumb against her fingers. Aaron gave a little huff. “I’ll try to do better about ... talkin’ about stuff, I promise.” It should’ve been an easier question to answer, but Aaron honestly didn’t know what anybody could do to help him. “I just wanna be with you and help you get better too,” he added, even softer.
It would be difficult, but Mila already knew that. She was just afraid Aaron was going to say everything she wanted to hear and continue to suffer in silence. But she hoped he would try. "I would never give up on you, Aaron. I've been afraid you would think this is too much. Maybe it is, but I need you." She watched his thumb brush across her fingers for a moment before taking in a soft breath. This particular part she didn't want to really talk about, but she couldn't ignore it. "This... deal you made. What is that about, Aaron? It makes me nervous. Nothing good has ever come from someone who could... do what he did to you in exchange for something."
It always tugged bittersweetly at his heart to hear that he was needed. Aaron wanted that so badly, and he wanted to be the sort of man who deserved it too. He knew he’d fallen down on that lately, but he had to do better, for Mila. The shift in subject sent an uncomfortable chill down his spine, and Aaron shifted a little in his seat. Of all the things she’d found out, that one made him the most uncomfortable because he didn’t really have any answers about it. “I honestly ... don’t really know,” he murmured, giving Mila an apologetic look. “I just woke up with this man in my room, he claimed he could get you back. I just had to promise to owe him a favor. I know that sounds ... stupid or crazy or something, but I was so fucked up and desperate to save you. And I kinda thought I was dreaming, until I woke up and I was really healed.”
"After everything I've seen... that doesn't sound crazy, or stupid," Mila murmured. She nearly asked if he had been high or drunk then too, but it wouldn't matter even if he had been. Mila might have thought the drugs made him hallucinate, but Adrian had seen this guy too. It made her uncomfortable to think Aaron and her brother might owe some... dangerous man... a favor. He had to have a lot of power if he was the one who pulled her out of the tunnel. No wonder Adrian had been there to take her to the hospital. He had known it would happen. Mila brought his hand up to her cheek, where she closed her eyes. "I can't lose you, Aaron. Not after I thought I already had. If things start to get... unusual, tell me. Maybe we can find someone to help." It was deja vu in a sense. Mila hated it. It made her feel cold inside, like she wanted to flee. But she wouldn't abandon Aaron. And she would fight if someone tried to take him from her as some kind of payment for her life.
Of course she believed him, she’d been in some Hell dimension. Aaron’s throat felt tight again and he swallowed thickly. He brushed his thumb lightly against Mila’s cheek, gazing at her longingly while she wasn’t looking at him. It was such a relief to have her back, but he hated that making that happen had just complicated so many other things. “I will,” he murmured. “‘Cause I can’t lose you again either.” That much was probably obvious, given what a disaster area he’d turned into. He wasn’t sure who could help them, but they would figure it out when they got there, he supposed. Aaron decided not to tell Mila that he would happily sacrifice himself to keep her out of that place; he knew that wouldn’t go over well. After a moment he scooted his chair back a bit and patted his thigh in invitation. “C’mere ... can I hold you?” he murmured.
Mila was already somewhat aware of what Aaron would do for her. And Adrian. And she knew she would do the same for them. Whatever it took. But it also made her uneasy and scared, because darkness was so manipulative. It almost always won, and she couldn't help but think if they couldn't find out a way to break these "deals" with whomever it had been who promised to bring her back... things would only get worse. But one thing at a time, she supposed. For her, the important thing at that moment was Aaron's health, and hoping he would understand how terrible things could get if he kept abusing his medication. Mila desperately wanted him to be okay, and she needed to be more mindful of it. He needed her as much as she needed him. There was warmth inside when he asked if he could hold her and Mila smiled softly before standing and leaving her coffee behind. She slipped onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck and shoulders to hold onto him tightly. It was amazing what physical reassurances could do to her and she wished she could just stay there like this.
Aaron instantly felt better when Mila settled her weight onto his lap. He’d wanted to hold her, but he’d wanted to be held back just as much, and her arms around him felt heavenly. Aaron slipped his own around Mila’s waist and nuzzled his face against the crook of her neck. He shut his eyes and let out a long slow breath, letting that feeling sink in. He knew it didn’t make everything all better, and he still had a lot of work to do and fuckups to make up for, but it helped. Physical affection had always been a big deal to him, and to say he missed touching Mila as much as he wanted was a huge understatement. “I love you,” he whispered into her upper chest. “M’sorry I scared you.”
It was instinctual to want to tell Aaron not to apologize. But she knew why he was, and they could spend the entire day apologizing to each other for a variety of things. But Mila didn't want that. She just wanted to hang onto him and try and make things better again. "I love you too," Mila said. She pressed a kiss against the side of his head. "More than anything. We'll be okay." Maybe if they were together, it might be easier. Together as in living together... having sex again. Trying to get things back to normal. But Mila hated the idea of going back to Seaview. It had been torture just driving there to check on him earlier that week. Mila held onto him for another moment before pulling back to look at him. "Would you ever consider... moving out of Seaview?"
It was always comforting to hear Mila say she loved him, especially when he’d screwed something up. Aaron knew it wouldn’t be easy, but he had to overcome whatever this fixation on escape was, for her sake. For their sake, really. Because he didn’t want to be without her, and he would be alone again if he carried on the way he was. Everybody had made that clear. He looked up at Mila when she pulled back, meeting her eyes with his tired blues and looking vaguely confused for a second. “Like ... by myself?” he asked, not quite catching on immediately. Moving back in with Mila had been too much to hope for as of late, so he’d put it out of his mind. “I mean, yeah, if I had somewhere else to go.”
Mila couldn't help but smile at the misunderstanding and she shook her head. "No, I mean, with me. I know it might be a pain in the ass to downsize, but I thought maybe an apartment somewhere. Until we could afford a house." Not a big one, but just one away from Seaview. Mila missed her trailer, but she knew she couldn't go back there. She was also aware moving meant she needed more money, and a job, but maybe she would be ready for it soon. She couldn't live with her parents forever, and she had nowhere else to go.
That familiar ‘oh duh’ feeling washed over Aaron, but this time it made him smile. It was a bit tentative, like Mila might change her mind at any second, but genuine. Living with her again, somewhere fresh, no matter how small it was, sounded like heaven to him. “Hell yeah, I’d move anywhere with you,” he told her, rubbing gently at her back with his hands. He’d always lingered in Seaview because that was where one of his brothers was, but if Mila didn’t want to stay there, Aaron would leave it in a heartbeat. He could sell his place, use the money to get them settled elsewhere, help them start over ... “Is that what you wanna do, for real?”
"Yes," Mila said with several nods. "Of course it is. I just wasn't sure if you would be ready for something like that. I don't want to push you into or anything, and I know I might still need some help, but... I think if my parents had their way, I would just stay here forever, but I can't do that." And it would be nice to have some place of their own, where Adrian could visit without being too fearful of being seen. "Obviously it might take some time. I need to figure out what to do with... Seaview. I need a job. I have a lot to work out. But I want that to be a goal we have. If you're really okay with it."
Aaron didn’t really have the knowledge and the words for it, but sometimes he wondered if she was so unsure of what he wanted because she was unsure of what she wanted. Like she projected her doubt onto him. Because Aaron would’ve dropped everything that very second to go hunt down a place for them so they could really be together again. How could she not know how obsessed he was with her? Being more cautious and actually making a plan was probably smarter though. That was why Mila was the brains out of the two of them. “I’m more than okay with it, that’s like, the only thing I want,” he told her seriously, still looking into her eyes. “We can sell our places, get a little nest egg going ... I’ll help with whatever you need. And Gavin can help too, he just sold a house, so he knows what to do.”
Mila's doubt always stemmed from her insecurities. She knew it was probably hard for Aaron to understand it, but it kept feeling as though the other shoe was about to drop. It had felt that way before the tunnel. Like Aaron might wake up and realize he could do better, or maybe he didn't want to do better at all, he just wanted to go back to living a bachelor lifestyle. And their relationship had been so young when she got pregnant, and then all the horrible stuff piled up on top of it. Mila wouldn't have blamed him if he wanted a fresh start without her. But it felt good to hear that he wanted the same things she did. They could both get out of Seaview, find somewhere small and comfortable and work from there. It was a plan, a goal. Something to work towards. That made her feel less aimless and Mila knew having something to focus on would help her. The instinct was there to tell Aaron she didn't want Gavin's help. Thinking about Aaron's brother made her feel cold in a way she couldn't describe. But she didn't want to upset him by saying so, so Mila merely nodded before cupping Aaron's face to kiss him, long and deep, just so he would feel how she felt about him.
He loved her desperately, even if she asked him a dozen times if he was sure about things. Aaron would reassure Mila until the world ended if that was what she needed. He had so little to give her in terms of stability and intelligence and all that stuff people looked for in partners, but he could be patient and just love her as hard as he could. Adrian had made it sound like a favor, but it was really all Aaron wanted to do with his life now. Maybe that was sad or would backfire in the future, but he didn’t care. He was a man who ran on his heart’s instincts, and they had led him to Mila, so Aaron trusted them. His breath caught a tiny bit and his eyes closed when Mila kissed him, his hands smoothing down her back again to come to rest on her hips. She tasted so good, and her lips were so soft, it was easy to fall completely into it. He missed kissing her more often.
Mila had missed kissing him too. She missed touching him and holding him. Intimacy always felt like such an important part of their relationship, and it had been missing since Mila returned. At least the physical intimacy. But she had scars on her body, patches of skin burned and puckered now and while Mila knew Aaron loved her, she hated that she felt so flawed and broken. She hated the reminders of what happened, and she was afraid he would look at them and hate them too. It had been difficult seeing the bandage on his chest, knowing what she would see underneath once it was gone. They would both have scars and what if they grew to be too much? Too traumatizing? Mila tried not to let her worries run away from her. She focused on Aaron, the way his lips felt, the way his hands held her. Mila felt the warmth deep in her gut, the fire that only Aaron could spark, and she realized that even now he could turn her into a puddle of hormones with just a kiss. It was just so nice to enjoy it now and her thumbs brushed along his jaw before she slipped her tongue into his mouth to taste him.
Aaron knew it wouldn’t be the same. Nothing would ever be exactly the same now, they had been through too much. But that didn’t stop him from yearning for that kind of closeness again. He wanted to be naked with her, touch her all over and have her touch him back. He wanted to kiss where she was hurt, as if his love could help heal her, or at least tell her that he accepted it all. It was part of her now, and Aaron loved her. He knew from the glimpses he’d gotten at the hospital that Mila had marks and scars, but he didn’t care. Still, he’d been holding back from pushing anything too far. Aaron still didn’t know if any of her trauma had been sexual in nature, and the last thing he wanted was to make her feel worse. So he let her lead and just kissed her deep as he felt warmth spread through his own body to pulse in his neglected groin. Aaron couldn’t stop himself from getting aroused, but he could keep it in check and just kiss her.
Mila knew Aaron was feeling aroused. It was hard to miss as she was practically in his lap. And Aaron's desire seemed to fuel her own, helping her forget all of the reasons why she hadn't been ready for this before. Was she ready now? Or was she letting the good feelings dictate her train of thought. Did it even matter? Mila didn't want to stop kissing him. It was getting a little bit harder to breathe, but in a way that made her feel lightheaded and wonderful. When she pulled back, she didn't go far. Mila rested her forehead against his, her eyes closed and her hands still on his face. "Do you want to go upstairs?" she murmured, not really sure if he would or not, but she wanted to ask, just to see how he was feeling.
They’d kissed since Mila had come back, for a while even, but there was a different sort of quality to this kind of kissing. Like there was intention behind it. Aaron was trying not to get his hopes up though. He had to be patient, he had to let Mila lead. He kept his hands on her hips and lower back instead of caressing her ass like he wanted to, and then she had broken the kiss and asked that soft question. Aaron knew what upstairs meant when her parents weren’t home, and a sweet needy throb pulsed through his cock. “Yes,” he whispered, cracking his eyes open to peek at her face. “If you do.” He tried not to get immediately excited, because he knew it could still go badly once they got up there. But if Mila was ready to try, Aaron was beyond ready.
Mila knew that if she told Aaron she wasn't ready he would believe her, and he would understand it. But she was desperate to get back to something resembling normal, and she missed being with Aaron. Intimacy was a part of healing. "I do," she told him before pressing another quick kiss to his lips. Then she slid off his lap and took his hand to encourage him to follow. They would be alone for a while, so they had time. And if not, well, her door had a lock. Maria Moretti would likely have a coronary if she knew her unwed daughter was fornicating in her home, but Mila didn't really care at the moment. She led Aaron upstairs and once they were in her bedroom, she shut the door and locked it before turning back to him, her arms slipping around his waist to pull him close. "I missed you," Mila murmured, pressing a kiss to his chin, and then to his jaw. "So much."
Aaron followed without any hesitation, holding Mila’s hand the entire way, his heart picking up speed. He knew he wanted this, almost as much as he wanted Mila to be okay. Getting successfully intimate would be a sign that she was headed in that direction, at least in Aaron’s head. He tried to prepare himself for it not to work though, for her to back out and stop him. He would do it, she could trust him, and he swore to himself he wouldn’t let her see if it upset him. He gently wrapped his arm around her shoulders once they were in the bedroom and brushed his fingers through the hair at the side of her head. “I missed you too,” he whispered. He still did, in a way, but saying that would just make her feel bad, so he didn’t. Instead Aaron lightly cupped the side of Mila’s face and dipped his head in to kiss her again, a tiny bit more urgency behind it now.
She couldn't say with one hundred percent certainty that she was ready for this. But Mila craved the closeness, and she craved Aaron. This was just another step to healing for both of them. Mila focused on how Aaron was kissing her, allowing the pleasant sensations working through her body to overwhelm everything else. Mila didn't want to rush, but she didn't think she could handle slow and lazy either. There was just a need to have him naked and inside of her as soon as possible, to regain that feeling of being desired and loved. Her hands came up to start pushing his coat off of his body. He was wearing significantly more clothes than she was, but that was okay. Mila had always loved undressing him, and that hadn't changed.
Aaron let go of her so she could get his jacket off, shaking his arms a bit until it dropped off of his body. Aaron had put on layers against the cold, so the long-sleeved shirt came off next, but he hesitated for a brief moment when it came to helping her peel off the tight white t-shirt underneath. He didn’t remember every detail of her visit when he’d been all fucked up, but he did recall that seeing him shirtless hadn’t been a good thing for Mila. His chest wound was covered with a bandage, but the one that was supposed to be on his belly was still gone, and that might upset her. Giving Mila a look that was a mix of longing and worry, he murmured, “Do you ... want the lights off or anything? I can leave this on ...” They didn’t have to be naked to have sex, and he was willing to make any accommodation she wanted.
Mila was briefly confused as to why Aaron would want to turn the lights off, or keep his shirt on. But then she remembered his wounds, or rather one wound, and Mila hesitated before shaking her head. "No, I want it off," she said, carefully pulling the white t-shirt up to help him take it off. The bandage was still upsetting, because it was a stark reminder of what she had done to him, and the pain he was in, but Mila couldn't hide from it forever. She couldn't pretend it didn't exist. "If you're okay with the lights on, I am too," she told him, brushing her fingers across the bandage softly. Mila lifted her gaze to his. "Is it okay?"
He was still watchful of her expression as he let the t-shirt drop, but Mila didn’t look sad or anything as she lightly touched his chest. Aaron nodded, his hands sliding down to settle on her hips again. “It’s okay,” he answered quietly. It didn’t hurt much at the moment, just that ever-present dull ache that was always there, but in more ways that actually counted, it was okay. He kissed her again, then took hold of the hem of her shirt and started to pull it up as well. If he was going to be fully bare, Aaron wanted Mila to be as well. He wanted to see and touch and kiss all of her, to show her he accepted her just as much as she did him.
Eventually the bandage would be gone and Mila would see the scar. She wished she could make it disappear, but maybe it was better that it was visible to both of them. Mila ran her hands over his chest and down his abdomen before she helped him get her shirt up and off of her head. She hadn't yet put on a bra, so they wouldn't have to worry about that. She had some scars left on her stomach, and one above her left breast. Mila couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious about them, but deep down she knew Aaron wouldn't be put off by them. He understood where they came from. With her shirt out of the way, Mila started working on his jeans, not wanting to pause too long on her own nudity.
While Mila’s fingers fell to his jeans, Aaron slid his hands up to cup her breasts, letting out a tiny sound deep in his throat. It felt like it had been ages since he’d felt her bare skin against his, even though he’d gotten to touch her many times since she’d come home. Aaron felt overheated and kind of emotional as he felt Mila undo his fly. He’d been trying to be patient with her and he knew he probably shouldn’t put so much stock into physical intimacy, but God he’d missed this. Missed her touch and how loved he felt when they were really together. Aaron felt like he needed this as much as Mila did. He helped her push his jeans down and it wasn’t until they were at his ankles that he realized he hadn’t taken his boots off yet. “Shit, sorry,” he muttered with a sheepish little chuckle, having to take his hands off of her and move back a bit to lean down and untie them.
His hands on her breasts didn't invoke any sense of panic or uneasiness, which was a relief. His palms were wonderfully calloused, but also warm and gentle with her. Mila knew how much Aaron enjoyed sex, and he had been insanely patient with her since she had returned home. They hadn't been having much sex before Mila disappeared into the tunnel, and in a way it felt like they had a lot of time to make up for. It made her wish they were in their own place already, so they could take as long as they wanted to. She hadn't noticed his boots until he did and Mila grinned as he got to work on untying them. While he was preoccupied, Mila pushed down her yoga pants, taking off her panties with them, just to get them out of the way. There were more spots on her thighs and legs leaving behind scars or patches of lighter skin where burns had healed. Sometimes they throbbed painfully when she woke up from a nightmare, but Mila felt much better now than she had when she was in the hospital. When he finished with his boots and got his jeans off, Mila waited for him, ready to wrap her arms around him again.
The sense of stupidity for not getting those taken care of earlier passed quickly enough as Aaron squirmed out of the rest of his clothes. And finally they were bare in front of each other again, and he could only sweep his gaze over Mila once before he reached for her again, nudging his boots and clothes out of the way before he pulled her flush against him. Aaron kissed her soundly, delving his tongue into her mouth without hesitation. She was warm and soft exactly like he remembered, and he couldn’t have cared less about the new marks on her body. She was his gorgeous Mila, and he couldn’t wait to lay her down and get inside of her again. Aaron started slowly walking them toward the bed, moving carefully since he didn’t know this room all that well, his hard cock brushing against Mila’s skin.
Mila would have loved to have stayed exactly where she was, if only to run her hands all over his body. He was still so gorgeous, and the bandage on his chest didn't change that in the least for her. The desire she felt for him was strong, which was an intense relief given how she had been feeling since Adrian found her outside the tunnel. The numbness had taken over everything and Mila had been afraid that she might never feel pleasure again. Never want to feel it. But it was there now, throbbing between her legs, heating her skin and intensifying her need for Aaron. When they made it to her bed, Mila released Aaron long enough to settle back on the mattress, getting comfortable before she opened her arms to him. It was a small bed but they had made it work when he stayed the night with her before and she didn't think they would get so vigorous that they were at risk for falling off. If they did, then oh well. It would be a funny memory to share later.
Mila looked so inviting and perfect, Aaron stood there for an extra few seconds just to look at her. It made him feel a little choked up; he’d been so sure he would never even see her again, much less see her nude and beautiful, welcoming him home. He climbed carefully onto the bed and settled himself between her thighs, most of his weight on his elbows at her sides. Aaron kissed her again, shifting his hips a couple of times until his cock was caught between their bodies so he could rub against her. Part of him wanted to get his face between her legs, make her come a few times with his mouth before he got inside her to make her come a hundred more times, so she was just drowning in pleasure, but Aaron didn’t want that much space between them yet. That could wait. It felt more right to come together on even ground first ... plus he knew there was no way he was going to last through a hundred orgasms. This probably wouldn’t last very long at all, it had been so long, but that wasn’t any sort of deterrent.
She would have loved to take their time, explore one another thoroughly and just recapture everything they had lost over the past couple of months. But Mila understood time was a factor, as was a little bit of desperation. She so badly wanted to feel him inside of her again, to know he still wanted and loved her, that he was alive and whole. They were both still damaged, but the road in front of them didn't seem too bleak now that Mila knew they would have each other to get through it. She kissed him eagerly, her hands cupping his face as she drew her knees up to his sides. The feel of his cock pushing against her heat drew a low moan from her throat and she lifted her hips in encouragement. Her chest felt full and ready to burst but Mila worried if he saw any kind of emotion in her eyes, he might think she was upset and stop. So she kept her eyes closed before curling her legs around him to tighten her hold on him and bring him closer to her. "Please," she murmured, not wanting to wait a second longer.
He could feel how wet she was against him, and that added more fuel to Aaron’s inner fire. He knew Mila wanted to be close, but the body wasn’t always on the same page, and he knew she’d been through so much. It was encouraging to feel her responding to him without much work, and it made him feel so much more sure of everything. If Mila still wanted him like this too, then they would be okay, at least in Aaron’s head. Her soft plea made him groan softly, and Aaron wasted no more time. He re-angled himself against her and thrust inside in one smooth movement. He tried not to make it too abrupt, but he couldn’t really do it slowly either. “Mila,” Aaron breathed heavily, his lips still hovering over hers. He pushed firmly against her for a few pulses, that tight grip around his cock sending delicious shivers up his spine. It was like the first, perfect time, all over again, only it meant so much more.
It felt like ages since they had been together like this and Mila gasped as soon as he was seated deep, that wonderful friction sparking even more intense pleasure inside of her. She had been afraid her mind wouldn't cooperate, would push bad memories to the surface and make this entire experience upsetting. But so far all Mila could think about was Aaron, and how lucky she was that he was okay, and that he still wanted her. Mila moved her hands down to his chest, running her fingertips down his skin and then around to his back. Her short nails pressed into his flesh where she could feel the muscles work beneath her hands. "I love you," she whispered, arching her hips up in encouragement. Even if this didn't last long, she needed to feel him moving, was desperate for it now.
Aaron couldn’t imagine not wanting her. Sure, he still had bad dreams about what had happened, and sometimes he wondered if it would happen again, if that thing was still lurking inside of her, but it was worth the risk to Aaron. He knew that most of her was Mila, that sort of thing couldn’t be faked, and that was enough. If it got him killed next time or something, so be it. That was easy to think in the moment, anyway, when they were so sweetly joined together. His skin tingled where she touched him, and he wished he could touch her back more from this position. As it was, Aaron slipped his hands under her shoulder blades and pressed his fingers into her as he started to thrust, rolling his hips to rub his pubic bone against her. “I love you too,” he gasped, his toes curling against the mattress as that pleasure he’d missed so much started to fill him.
It had been so long since Mila had been able to shut off her brain and just let go. She felt safe beneath Aaron, wonderfully overwhelmed by his warmth. Her body felt alive, the lingering aches and pains forgotten every time Aaron moved inside of her. Mila pressed kisses to his shoulder, her breathing growing heavier and more shallow. Memories of their first time together rose unbidden in her mind. A motel near Cherries. Not the most romantic of places, but it had been unexpected and perfect anyway. She had gotten pregnant that night. Mila pressed her fingertips into his back harder, keeping her eyes shut tight as she rocked her hips harder against his. It occurred to her then that they weren't using protection and what if that just started this entire nightmare over again. But how could something that felt so damn good become something so horrible? Mila decided she couldn't stop, didn't want to stop. She couldn't live in the fear of "what if" for the rest of her life. She couldn't worry every time she and Aaron had sex. They loved each other and she needed that more than anything else.
Aaron loved the way she held onto him, like he was the only solid thing in her world. He certainly felt like she was the only solid thing in his, as fucked up as that might be. Mila was the only one who saw him fully, loved him fully, enough to care that he was slowly destroying himself and try to help him. Aaron loved a lot of people in his life, but Mila was incredibly special, his favorite person and the mother of his child. Even though it hadn’t made it, that would always be true. It was possible that the intensity of his feelings was amplified by everything they’d gone through so early in their young relationship, but Aaron didn’t think about that sort of shit. He just felt how he felt -- and right then he felt completely in love with the woman under him, rocking his body into hers harder and faster while the emotion and pleasure in him built to a crescendo. He was panting now himself, his forehead pressed against her so they stayed close, having to work hard to keep himself in check.
In the midst of so much emotion, Mila realized she was fulfilling one of her teenagehood fantasies. She and Aaron Lucas having sex in her bed. How many nights during her youth had she touched herself, thinking about what it would feel like, how incredible it would be. And now it was happening. Sure, they were older and had been through hell and back, but it still felt pure in a way she couldn't really explain. Mila groaned, her hands clutching his back before one hand came up to cup his face again. She hadn't been sure she would actually be able to get there, despite how badly she wanted this. Mila had been sure her brain would get in the way and make this difficult, hold her back from feeling anything real. But the pleasure intensified and her love for Aaron seemed to blot out the lingering darkness in her head. His body was hitting just the right spot with every thrust and she was grateful that her parents weren't home yet, because she couldn't exactly muffle the cries escaping her now. For a moment Mila nearly warned him that she was about to come, like he might stop for some inane reason. But then her orgasm seemed to explode rather violently inside of her and all Mila could do was cry out, her back arching up against Aaron as she began to tremble around him. Everything else was forgotten in that moment and all Mila could do was ride it and pray it never ended.
Aaron hadn’t forgotten that Mila said she hadn’t had sex in this bed. It seemed right that it be him to christen it with her, just a stone’s throw away from where he’d grown up. This was probably the position they would’ve taken too, just two kids figuring out their bodies and all the pleasure they could provide. Sometimes he still felt like that dumb teenage boy, just in a bigger form, with more responsibilities. His first time hadn’t been great, so this felt a bit like a do-over, a chance to make it like it should’ve been. Mila wasn’t his first, but Aaron honestly couldn’t imagine being with anybody else now, he loved her so fucking much. He could feel -- and hear, in the sweetest way -- her starting to come, and he picked up the pace a bit, groaning himself as he started to release the control he was flexing. It all just felt so good, and the way Mila’s body clenched and pulsed around him made him dizzy with pleasure. He moaned her name somewhere in the midst of the wordless sounds, peaking right after she did with a few strong shudders of release.
It felt so right that he came so quickly after she did. Their bodies were shivering together and Mila just wanted to wrap her arms and legs around him and never let go. They could just stay there forever, shut out the world and be happy. Mila felt incredible, sweaty and satisfied and for a moment she feared she might burst into tears. That would freak him out, she was sure of it, so Mila swallowed the lump in her throat and quickly buried her face against his neck until she could recover from the wave of emotion. When she felt like she could talk without her voice breaking, Mila pressed her lips to his skin. "I love you so much," she murmured.
Aaron couldn’t remember ever feeling quite so vulnerable and connected to someone else. The orgasm felt good, just like every other one, but there were so many more layers to what was happening inside of him, it felt like so much more. He’d missed Mila so much, and he’d been so hurt and lost without her, and destroyed by what that thing had made her do, and sad and afraid and alone, and then so relieved and happy ... it was too much emotion at once, and he didn’t have the control she had. Aaron tried to keep it all in while she held onto him, but hearing those words again broke the dam. His breath hitched hard and he felt hot tears start to leak out of his eyes. He’d cried so damn much in the past couple of months, he should be sick of it, but this time felt a little different. Healthier, more clean. “I love you too,” he pushed out, the words jagged. Aaron moved his head to kiss her.
She held onto him, cupping his face with both hands and returning his kiss with emotion. Her thumbs brushed away the wetness she felt on his face and Mila realized now just how healing making love could be. They were by no means out of the woods yet, and there was still a lot to talk about and work on, but it didn't feel like an endless dark road now. When they pulled away Mila opened her eyes and smiled softly at him. "I can't wait to live with you again. Somewhere for just the two of us." It wasn't just the sex. But Mila missing being able to sleep beside him every night. Attempting to cook dinner for him after work. She just so desperately wanted things to be back to normal. Or at least as close to normal as things could get for the two of them. "Are you going to be okay until then?" She had given Adrian Aaron's pain medication, but there was still alcohol aplenty at Caden's, she was sure of it. Mila hated the thought of him going back to Caden and Roxy's and feeling the need to drink again, or find some other way to numb his pain.
Maybe it sucked of him, but Aaron finally felt like she was really home now. That she was fully his again. It was just the way his attachment worked, and he was feeling so, so attached at the moment. Aaron sniffled as he looked down at her, blinking and trying not to drip tears on her face. Her thumbs were so soft and sweet, it made that lump in his throat harder to swallow down. He nodded a little. “Yeah. I’ll be okay. Long as I have ... living with you to look forward to, y’know?” Aaron managed a tiny smile and nudged his nose against Mila’s. He couldn’t wait either, thinking about that comfortable domestic bliss they would have together in their own new, fresh place. They could start to plan for a wedding then. And he would make sure the new house had an extra room for a nursery. All he wanted was a simple, happy life with his love. “You’re all I need,” he whispered.
In a way, Mila felt the same way Aaron did. She had never stopped loving him, but there had been something missing when she returned home. Mila had known it was because of her her, that it was too difficult to cope with everything that she had done and everything she had gone through. But now it felt like things would really be okay, that Aaron was really still hers. The bond was still there, and she had been so terrified it wouldn't be. She smiled a bit at his words and slid her arms around his neck to pull him close so she could kiss him. He was so sweet and warm, and it made her want to cry all over again. "You're all I need too," she told him, pressing soft kisses to his lips. "I'll talk to my parents tonight about getting my place cleaned up... they know I don't want to go back. It might be a process but I want to start as soon as I can."
Now that he felt like he had full reign to do so, Aaron didn’t want to stop kissing her. He wished he could pause time and just live in that moment for days with her, snuggled up in her tiny childhood bed, kissing and talking softly and making love. Regrettably, Mila’s parents would be coming home in the near future, but Aaron wanted to enjoy it thoroughly while he could. His cock had softened inside of her, but he didn’t want to pull out or move away yet, loving being so close to her too much. “I’ll help,” he said softly, without hesitation. “Anything you need, I’ll help with. And we can sell that place and my place and start over.” And hopefully the shitty world would leave them alone this time.
It sounded so nice that Mila was afraid to wish for it too desperately. She didn't want life to pull the rug out from underneath them again. But Mila knew they could take things one day at a time and work towards the goal of finding a place together. Maybe once they were truly settled things would start to feel normal again. Mila slid her hands up and down his sides softly, wishing they didn't have to get up and get dressed. She just wanted to lay there with him for the rest of the day. If they had a place of their own, they could have. "The sooner the better," Mila said with a small smile. Then she pressed another small kiss to his chin. "I don't want to, but we should probably get dressed before my parents come home. If my mom finds you naked in my bedroom she'll probably chase you out of here with a spatula or something."
Aaron let out a tiny whine, then smiled to show he was joking. He knew that Mrs. Moretti finding him in Mila’s bedroom with the door locked at all would probably wreck the progress he’d made toward her liking him, and he didn’t want to do that. It was ridiculous for a grown woman to have those kinds of restrictions in his opinion, but he was well versed in ‘my house, my rules.’ “We should get a hotel room sometime soon or something ... like, go to Bangor for a weekend away,” he suggested as he pushed himself up and off of Mila. Pulling out felt kind of sad, but Aaron knew now that they would have sex again later on, so it wasn’t so bad. He made room and sat on the edge of the bed, glancing around. “You got a towel or somethin’?”
Mila sighed softly when he pulled out of her, and she wished she didn't have to actually move. But they both needed to clean up and Mila stretched happily before turning to sit beside Aaron. "Um... not in here," she said before touching his arm briefly. "Give me a second." She stood up and hurried out of the bedroom, across the hall to the bathroom. Mila cleaned herself up quickly before grabbing one of the wash cloths from beneath the sink. She carried it back to her bedroom, closing the door quietly before offering it to Aaron. As she began to pull on her clothes again, she glanced at him. "I would like that though... going to Bangor for a weekend. Being able to get away, even if it was for a couple of days. Would you really want to do that?"
Aaron took the wash cloth with a murmured thanks and started to wipe himself off. It wasn’t a huge mess, but enough that it would itch inside his jeans if he didn’t take care of it. He glanced up at Mila with a little smile. “It was my idea, wasn’t it?” he teased her lightly. Aaron stood up, tossing the wash cloth into her hamper before he pulled Mila in for one more snuggle before he put his clothes on. “Of course I want to,” he murmured and kissed her lightly. “I wanna be with you twenty-four-seven, and having some privacy to ourselves would be great. Plus just ... getting away from here.” There was the question of money, but Aaron thought he could figure something out. He squeezed Mila, then let her go and started pulling his own clothes on.
Money was definitely an issue, though Mila had some in her savings account. She didn't think she had been gone long enough for her parents to close it down or anything. If they went to Bangor, would they want to come back? It was nice to think about the possibility of just driving out of here and never returning, even if she knew deep down it wasn't an option. "Let's plan for that then," she said, sitting on the edge of her bed and watching him get dressed. Mila wanted to sigh in appreciation because he really did have a gorgeous body. "I still have some money in my bank account. If I can convince my parents I'll be okay... maybe next weekend? If you're feeling up to it."
The following weekend was soon, but that didn’t put Aaron off of the idea. He raised his eyebrows before he pulled his shirt on and settled it on his body, then went to sit next to Mila. “Fuck yeah,” he said, giving her a grin now. Aaron slipped his arm around her and leaned in to kiss her cheek. “I’ve got a little wad too still, so ... two nights, just you and me, away from this fuckin’ place. It’ll be great.” Caden and Roxy would probably be thrilled to get rid of him for a while too. Aaron just hoped Mila’s parents wouldn’t be shitty about it. She deserved some time away. They both did. “I love you,” he added in a murmur, smiling softly at her. “Thank you for like ... giving me the chance to do better.”
She was still a grown woman, so she didn't think her mom would give her too much pushback if she decided to get away for a weekend with Aaron. It was something to look forward to and she needed that. That was momentarily forgotten as Mila gave Aaron a slightly pained look. "Aaron, you don't have to thank me for that. You wouldn't be... you wouldn't have needed those pills if it wasn't for me. The only person who needs a second chance to be better here is me." She knew she hadn't been herself, but that didn't erase her guilt. And she didn't want him to feel like he had to reassure her that it hadn't been her fault. But Mila understood Aaron's pain, and why he might have wanted to numb it. She just worried, and she didn't want him to go down a bad path.
One day maybe Mila would accept that none of what had happened had really been her fault. She’d been a victim, and he knew in his heart that she wouldn’t have ever hurt him if she’d been in control. It made him sad that she kept saying things like that, with all that self-blame. He was never going to agree with her, but he was sure she was sick of hearing him say it wasn’t her fault. He, on the other hand, was fully himself and in control of his actions, so he just had to shape up, like Adrian said. Aaron shook his head a little and reached up to cup her face in both hands. “Then nobody in this room does, ‘cause you’re perfect,” he murmured. Aaron leaned in and kissed Mila’s nose and then her lips. “And I love you. We’ll get through it all together, okay? One step at a time.” It sounded like good advice to him, even if it might have been a bunch of bullshit. Aaron took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, smiling faintly. “Should we go back downstairs and act like respectable young people? Put our noses in the Bible and all?”
It was sweet of him to say she was perfect, because she didn't feel perfect. It was something she hoped he knew, because Mila was sure she would make mistakes again. Not the horrible ones from before, but... human mistakes. She didn't want to hurt him again and she was going to try hard not to. "One step at a time," she agreed. Despite her worries, she felt warm and happy inside, not only from the love making, but feeling his lips on hers and hearing him tell her that he loved her. Mila would never get tired of that. She laughed a little, imagining being downstairs with a Bible in her lap. "Mom would know exactly what we were up to if she came home to see that. But we should probably go downstairs anyway. I can make some fresh coffee, or if you're hungry I can throw something together. I promise it would be edible."
It always did him good to make her laugh, and Aaron grinned. “Yeah probably ... I do love being on my knees for you though ... worshipping at the altar of Mila ...” He gave a playful little growl and leaned in to nibble and kiss at the side of Mila’s neck, intent on tickling her to make her laugh some more. It wrenched at his heart, how much he’d missed her, but it felt kind of sweet this time, in the moment. She was back, and they were going to be okay. It might still take some time, but part of Aaron felt more relaxed and confident about it now. He kissed on her a bit more and then sat back and got up so they could actually go be where they needed to be. “Food sounds awesome, though,” he said.
His lips at her neck did tickle and Mila laughed, instinctively moved away although her hand clutched his arm, keeping him close anyway. "I like being on my knees for you too," she murmured, leaning in to nuzzle him before she stood and took his hand to lead him downstairs. "Are you doing anything later? Maybe we can get out and go do something," Mila said. She didn't even care if it was a movie, or just wandering around Main Street and the shops. It was so easy to start feeling restless at her parents' house. "Are you working yet? I mean... do your brothers want you back at the bar?"
Aaron happily went with her, his stomach perking up at the prospect of getting something to eat, now that all the nerve-wracking stuff was over. “I haven’t been back yet, but ... feel like I can pretty soon, at least. I’m not gonna be lugging kegs around and shit, but I can do light-duty stuff,” he said. He hadn’t talked to Gavin about it yet, but he would soon. Aaron needed to start making real money again. And maybe having stuff to do throughout the day would keep his mind off of the cravings for painkillers. “We can totally go out and do whatever you want though,” Aaron added with a smile. Taking his girl out to shop or see a movie or something normal sounded even more fantastic than going back to work.
Mila needed to start working again too. The thought of doing so made her a little anxious, but if she wanted to live on her own again, she needed a job. She would get a little money if she was able to sell her trailer in Seaview, but probably not a lot. She just didn't feel cut out for anything worthwhile, but maybe that would change if she found the right thing. It was nearly lunchtime now and Mila knew her mom had sandwich stuff in the fridge, so hopefully Aaron would be okay with something simple. "Maybe after we eat we can check and see what movie is playing at the Orion," she suggested. "Or we can drive out to the mall and see something new." It would just be nice to get out of the house, and she didn't really care what they ended up doing. It was just another step forward in trying to get things back to normal.