Who: Jared and Ty When: morning, Sunday, Dec 31st Where: Ty's place Status: complete
When Ty woke up, he had a terrible headache. He’d had a full day of awful, his mood only getting worse and worse after Jared had left without saying goodbye. The logical part of Ty’s brain couldn’t blame him, but that part had been drowned out by the aggravation that he couldn’t seem to shake. He’d cleaned the entire apartment as well as he could, strenuously enough to make his whole side ache from the busted rib, but it hadn’t made him feel any better. He’d been starving too, eating things out of the fridge that weren’t even cooked, but none of it seemed to fill the hole inside of him. He’d ended up aimlessly driving around for a couple of hours, half looking for Jared’s cruiser and half being grateful he wasn’t finding it. He still didn’t want to talk -- he hadn’t even texted him. Once he’d gotten back home as the sun started to go down, Ty had fallen into bed and immediately fallen asleep.
He’d expected to wake up when his boyfriend came home after his shift, but that obviously hadn’t happened. Wincing a bit at the light coming through the curtains he’d neglected to close, Ty rolled over to see that Jared hadn’t come home at all. Or he at least wasn’t in bed. “Fuck,” he breathed to himself, slowly scrubbing his face with his hands. Ty forced himself up and shuffled out of the bedroom and down the hall, his heart thudding sickly in his chest. He hoped he would see Jared’s big form sleeping on the couch, but there was nothing there. No sign of him anywhere. It began to sink in for Ty that he’d fucked up pretty royally. For a moment the fear that Something Had Happened to Jared spiked upward, but Ty got the sense this was his own doing.
He gave himself time enough to make some coffee and down three or four aspirin, marveling all the while at his behavior the day before. Ty had heard plenty of people say they weren’t themselves, he often saw folks at their very worst, but this was the first time he’d really felt it. Now he understood what that actually meant. Shame and guilt settled like a stone in his stomach, making him feel queasy on top of his headache. He sat down on the couch in his boxers, turning his phone over and over in his hands for a while before he worked up the nerve to actually hit Call.
Jared had gone to Seaview after work and it hadn't been an easy decision to make. He kept hoping Ty would call because all it took was one little sorry, or at the very least a reason for why he might actually be mad. When Ty didn't call or text all day, Jared's mood just got worse and by the time he'd gotten home he'd managed to slip into that sulky but disconnected state of mind where he didn't try to reach out first out of sheer stubbornness. Yes, he worried Ty wasn't okay and that had him reaching for the phone more often than he cared to count, but despite his diplomatic nature he had a strict policy of not letting people walk all over him. Ty had... pretty much done that.
He swung between being mad and being sorry about being mad. Ty was in pain, he'd been through a lot of trauma and yet that didn't excuse the way he'd behaved so Jared usually swung right back from being sorry to being mad about being sorry and then just mad all over again. It was a hellish circle that didn't break until he fell asleep that night. At least he managed to sleep, that was a small consolation, and he was still sleeping when his phone went off.
His heart skipped a beat before he was even fully awake and a weird mix of anxiety and joy rushed through him when he saw Ty's picture on the screen. He hesitated for a few seconds. Not because he didn't want to talk to Ty but because he both didn't know what to say and he wasn't awake enough if this turned into something bad. He thudded his face against the pillow, then raised his head again and answered with a hoarse, "Hey."
He’d obviously woken Jared up, which Ty should’ve anticipated because of the shift his man had worked, but it still made him want to instantly apologize and hang up so Jared could go back to sleep. Like the necessary conversation was going to be an inconvenience. Ty winced to himself a little and slowly rubbed at his eyes. It had been the first night they’d spent apart in quite a while, and he hated that Jared wasn’t within reach. “Hey,” he responded, sounding kind of rusty himself. Ty wasn’t great at apologies on a good day, and right then he really wanted to punch himself. “Sorry I woke you up. I can, uh ... call back later if you want.” He winced a bit, hating how that sounded like he was trying to weasel out of talking, but the sentiment was genuine. He didn’t want to corner Jared into a Serious Conversation before he was even truly awake.
It wasn't a lot to go on but Ty sounded like himself and not like he didn't give a shit if he'd woken Jared. One thing about Jared was that he was no good at staying mad at people, he wanted arguments to be over as quick as possible, he wanted a solution to every problem. "No, it's okay," he muttered, stretching out and rolling onto his back, eyes still closed as he held the phone to his ear. He felt it keenly just how empty the bed was, how wrong it was to talk to Ty on the phone instead of waking up next to him but he was also quickly remembering just how upset and disappointed he'd been before falling asleep - and why. "I was gonna wake up soon anyway."
Ty hadn’t exactly hoped for a reprieve, but it still would’ve been a small relief. He remembered very well what kind of jackass he’d been, and nobody liked to face that. The fact that it had come to a head while they were having sex made it even worse somehow. “Thanks for picking up,” he murmured, still rubbing his eyes and brow. The aspirin was being slow to kick in. “I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t ... Listen, I don’t ... I don’t even know what to say. I felt really weird and shitty yesterday and I took it out on you and that was really fucked up. I wasn’t ... I didn’t feel in control of myself, and that’s never excusable. I’m really sorry, Jared.” He almost tacked ‘I love you’ onto that, because he did and he wanted to say it, but Ty thought that might sound too manipulative. Jared had a right to still be angry with him, to tell him off if he wanted, and that was hard to do in the face of declarations of love.
Jared listened and through the haze of sleepiness he could feel relief slowly etching its way inside. "Yeah, that was really fucking weird," he agreed, not quite leaning into affectionate yet, the words a bit flat. It could be excused by sleepiness or caution, maybe it was a mix of both. "How are you feeling today?" There might be relief but he was still hurt and wary, although now he was beginning to question whether he had overreacted.
It had been really fucking weird, and it worried Ty a little, but those feelings were secondary to the guilty regret that dominated his mind at the moment. He didn’t think that one fuck-up would completely ruin their relationship, Ty had more faith in them than that, but he also didn’t want to take anything for granted. He would be destroyed if Jared left him, and he hated that he’d even risked it, no matter how he’d been feeling. “Like a goddamn idiot,” he muttered with a soft huff that wasn’t really amused. Ty wet his lips and answered more seriously. “In a lot of pain from overdoing it yesterday. I scrubbed the whole apartment after you left, I couldn’t calm down. Got a splitting headache. But more in control, more myself. I dunno if it was all the stress or ... some kind of mania ... I dunno.” The words got softer as he went, more doubtful.
Jared let him talk, the words soothing him and worrying him at the same time. It didn't sound normal but the last few days had been anything but. "I was worried I pushed you too far," he admitted after a moment of silence, one that he needed to take so he could process everything. "But I figured you would have said something and not... Reacted like that." He scrubbed his free hand over his face and scratched his beard, blinking his eyes open. It was time to get up and make this right. "Do you have work today? I can't remember." They needed to talk face to face, Jared had a feeling they both needed physical closeness as well.
“It wasn’t you at all,” Ty assured him quietly. At the time it had felt like it, like Jared wasn’t giving him something he desperately needed, probably on purpose. From this side of it, that seemed completely insane, but Ty hadn’t felt quite sane the day before, so he guessed that tracked. It was worrisome though. He couldn’t be having those kinds of uncontrollable moods, especially not when he started working again. Ty sat up a little straighter at Jared’s question, hope blooming in his chest that it meant Jared wanted to see him. “Yeah, Grady wanted me to come in for a few hours this afternoon, but I’ve got a while ‘til then. Do you?”
"Are you at home?" Jared asked instead of answering the question. He sat up and assessed how much time he needed and if he needed a shower. No, he had showered after the gym so he was okay for now so that shaved some time off, thankfully. "I can be there in twenty." If you want to see me he almost asked but it just felt like a petulant thing to say. They needed to talk. Most of all Jared needed to see him. Something had gone wrong and he still wasn't sure what it was. Maybe Ty needed to talk to someone, work through the trauma. It might be stupid but Jared felt like if he just saw him he could understand it better.
Ty had to assume that meant Jared didn’t have a morning shift at least, which was nice ... unless he was coming over just to break up with him face to face and then leave again. Just the thought made Ty’s stomach cramp up and his headache pulsed sharper. Jared hadn’t said Ty was forgiven or ‘I love you’ or anything like that yet, so maybe he was Done. Maybe Ty had fucked up the best thing he’d ever had. It made him want to go back to bed. “Yes,” he answered simply. He was home and he would stay there and wait to see if this was going to be the worst day of his life or not.
Jared didn't even consider that Ty might be worried this was over, that just wasn't how relationships worked for him. Bad shit happened but that didn't mean a ruined relationship. Strained for a while, maybe, but not over. "Okay, I'll be over soon," he muttered before hanging up and forcing himself on his feet. All he had to do was brush his teeth and get dressed, he felt a little off so he didn't want to eat just yet. That meant he got to Ty's place a little earlier than he expected. It was actually a beautiful day, but it was still cold as hell out and he dressed appropriately, huffing softly as he rushed from his car to Ty's door. He almost considered knocking because they'd been fighting - if he could even call it that - but it was too cold to wait outside so he used his key.
Ty hadn’t moved from his place on the couch, just dragged a throw blanket around his bare shoulders and leaned back to rest his eyes until Jared got there. His head still throbbed in time with his heart, but the pain was dying down slowly, along with the soreness in his side. He tried not to think, to let his worry run away with him, but it was hard not to feel helpless and sad, and like his mind was trying to brace him for what might be coming. How had he lost control like that? It hadn’t even been a passing mood, it had been all day long. What if he got in that mood again? He heard Jared let himself in and forced himself to stand up. He had to take this like a man and not a little bitch. All Ty could muster when he saw him walk in was a small smile and an even smaller “hey.”
Jared hadn't really decided what he wanted to say once he got there but the look on Ty's face made the decision easy. He looked miserable, despite mustering that smile, and all in all he just looked really tired and a bit like he'd somehow shrunk from his usual 6 feet and two inches of height. Jared closed the distance between them in a few slow strides and wrapped his arms around him, mindful of his injuries as he pulled him in close in a bearhug. They could talk in a minute, right now this was what they both needed and he rubbed his back slowly through the blanket.
He couldn’t read Jared’s face very well, especially with so much dread making his chest feel tight. Ty’s breath caught a little when Jared’s arms slid around him. He hesitated for just a second, then his own moved to do the same. Ty leaned into the embrace and hugged Jared tight enough to make his ribs ache, tucking his face into the crook of Jared’s neck. He smelled really good, more like himself than if he’d been freshly showered, and Ty’s nose stung. He wasn’t going to cry though, he didn’t want to make it about him. He’d fucked up, no matter what the circumstances. Ty didn’t try to say anything yet, just clung to his man and let the relief sink in.
It felt good to hold him and every sentence that came to Jared's head was dismissed for now, not to be spoken out loud. Sometimes touch said more than words ever could anyway and he held onto Ty for a long time, letting himself enjoy the closeness and hoping he was making him feel better too. When he finally spoke it was quiet. "You worried me." He pulled back a little, ducking his head to press their foreheads together. "You wanna talk about it?"
The longer they held each other, the more Ty’s muscles started to unclench. It was what he needed, and he was dumbly grateful that Jared was giving it to him. Ty tried to stop worrying and focus instead on how Jared smelled, how his arms felt, how nice and deep his breaths were. He kept his eyes closed when Jared pressed their heads together, not quite ready to look him in the eye yet. Ty sighed quietly and rubbed his hand against Jared’s lower back. “Not really, but ... probably should,” he murmured. Ty didn’t want to let go of him yet though. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
"It's okay," Jared whispered because it was now. It was less formal than telling Ty he forgave him at least. "Was it something I did?" he asked because even if he couldn't think of anything he'd said or done to trigger that kind of reaction he was still willing to accept it if there was. "Did I push you too hard?" They probably needed to talk about the sex too. So far they'd just gone with the flow and trusted in each others' ability to put an end to it but maybe that was naive. Maybe they needed to set up boundaries and rules, to make sure they didn't end up repeating this mess.
It wasn’t okay, not really, but it was still a relief to hear Jared say that. Ty knew what he meant. He shook his head at the questions, his brow furrowing as he pulled back enough to open his eyes and really focus on Jared’s face. “Not really,” he murmured. It was already frustratingly hard to explain. “It didn’t start with you, I just ... woke up really restless and agitated and hating the world. I thought sex would make me feel better, especially rough sex, but ... it didn’t, it just made it all worse. But I couldn’t get my head out of my ass enough to say that. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it felt good and you were great and everything, I just don’t think there was any winning that one. I should’ve stopped us, I’m sorry. I was in a shit mood all day, like every single thing pissed me off. It wasn’t your fault at all.”
"Okay," Jared said quietly and he rubbed lightly at Ty's back where his hands still rested in a light hug. "Hear me out," he said then. "When my dad died I uh, saw someone and yeah, I know, cops don't like shrinks and all that stereotypical bullshit but it helped. I think maybe what happened was just too much. I mean, you almost died because a literal monster picked you up and cracked your ribs. Maybe talking to someone'd help. Hell, maybe I should see one too. Things have been really tough lately for both of us." He knew, logically, that Ty probably wouldn't react badly to the idea and yet he found himself bracing himself for it.
Ty let out a slow breath through his lips as soon as Jared said “saw someone” and he looked off to the side, his jaw clenching briefly. He knew that internal resistance came from his own issues, old pain from being forced to see “professionals” when his parents were trying to fix his gayness. He knew that because he’d had real therapy as an adult, in spite of how hard it had been to start going. Ty wasn’t against it, it was just difficult to admit that maybe he did need it again. He’d wanted to be done with all that. He almost corrected Jared that getting dropped onto the curb by the monster had been what actually cracked his ribs, but he knew that was dumb avoidant semantics. “I’ve been before,” Ty said, forcing his gaze back to Jared. “I’m not against it or tryin’ to pull some macho bullshit, but ... who’s gonna believe the problems we have now?” It was a quiet, genuine question. “Sayin’ I got injured by a perp is kinda different than ‘hey, I almost got eaten alive by a giant God-knows-what, you know? You gonna tell a shrink you hear a ghost train and saw your dead wife in an empty house?”
So much of communication was buried in those subtle little things and Jared picked up on Ty's body language and felt a little defeated right away. The words didn't help either, a crass reminder of horrible things, no matter how gently it was delivered. "Maybe if it's someone local," he muttered dejectedly and let go of Ty, dropping his hands to his sides. "Hard to deny what just happened, what with cars flipped over and the hospital overcrowded with people with the same injuries." Ty was right though, they'd have to talk in code for the most part, skate around the truth, dress it up as something normal.
He instantly felt bad as Jared’s hands fell away and Ty winced a little, letting his own hands trail down Jared’s forearms. “No, you’re right, yeah ... maybe,” he said, trying to hook their fingers together again. Ty hated this feeling of distance and like he kept stepping wrong with this making up business. “I mean, shit’s never been so ... in everybody’s face before, so undeniable ... Maybe somebody can help.” Ty had seen a lot of people go into denial about a lot of things in this town, so he didn’t know how optimistic he could be that some mental health professional would actually accept the supernatural, much less be able to counsel someone through it. But if Jared wanted him to try, he would. “I don’t have to be specific,” he murmured. “I’m pretty good at talkin’ around shit.” It would just have to be something else to be in the closet about.
Jared gave him a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes but he felt like he needed to try because Ty was trying and that was worth a lot. He might not ever actually see anyone, they first had to find someone and make an appointment and there was usually a waiting period with anyone worth a damn. Right now it was more the thought that counted, the willingness. "They don't all focus on the actual events anyway," he muttered. "Some of them just focus on how you move forward. I mean, you could probably find someone who wants to dig into every moment, pick at every scab like all the answers are buried in your damage but I don't think that helps anyone."
Ty knew that, he’d had a good therapist back in Bangor when he was processing through all the homophobic trauma he’d been through. She’d relived some of those memories with him early on, but they hadn’t ended up being her focus. If he couldn’t find a therapist who could take the truth, Ty thought he could bullshit his way through some sessions, he just wasn’t sure how much it would actually help. He felt like everything he’d known about reality had been upended, all those signs he’d ignored or didn’t dwell on for so many years had been wasted warnings, and now the real reality had torn him open to prove itself. Ty didn’t know how to explain or handle all that, and the thought of exposing it to a stranger was giving him anxiety already. He tried to smother it, because Jared wanted him to be okay, and Ty gave an unsure smile of his own. “Yeah ... I’ll try to find somebody,” he murmured.
A part of Jared wanted to back up and let it slide, that small part of him that said maybe it had been a one-off, that they could work through this on their own and he was overreacting. That felt like a really unhealthy approach to things so he clamped down on it. Ty might not even end up seeing anyone, but right now Jared felt like he had to insist and push for it. What had happened between them could never slip into being seen as normal. "Thanks," he said instead and quirked a brow. "I probably should too. It's been a crazy... few weeks."
“Months, seems like,” Ty muttered. Ever since that dead cow in the church yard, he’d felt like things had been getting steadily worse. Outside things, anyway. While he’d been distracted with falling in love and everything that came with it. “Might be good for all of us.” He felt guilty now that he hadn’t been more enthusiastic at the suggestion, awkward, so Ty pulled back and started to turn and shuffle toward the kitchen. “You want some coffee? Pot’s pretty fresh.” He probably didn’t need more caffeine, but he really wanted something to do with his hands.
Jared felt the awkward too, like a tangible thing jittering between them. He didn't like it and he felt like he had to do something to dispel it so he followed Ty, grasping his arm gently to pull him back. "I'll get some coffee myself," he said since it didn't feel right that the guy with the injuries do all the work but most of all he just wanted Ty to stop right now, to come back and be close. "We're going to be okay," he told him in his best certain voice. "Yesterday was shitty but it's behind us. I love you." It felt like something Ty needed to hear but also something Jared needed to say or he might burst or that awkward in the air might grow and take over their lives.
He did need to hear it, but it didn’t make Ty feel a whole bunch better. Not like he thought it might. Because he’d still fucked up, they were still going to be okay instead of already being okay. His man thought he needed professional mental help, and hell, maybe he did. Ty still felt shitty, and this felt like their first real Problem and he still wasn’t sure how to handle it exactly. He covered Jared’s hand on his arm with his own and gave him a crooked little smile. “I love you too,” he murmured. Ty gently pried Jared’s grip off of him. “Really though, lemme make you coffee.”
Jared shut down that instinct to take over the task because of Ty's injuries, recognizing his eagerness to do it for what it really was: a task, a non-verbal apology. He understood that need so he nodded and forced himself to be good, to sit down and let Ty do the work. "Thanks," he murmured as he headed to the table and tried to stave off the worries he had. He'd been in enough relationships to know this was going to be okay, his relationships hadn't ended because of a first fight, that was for sure. What he worried about was Ty because this was his first real relationship and what if he didn't know how to bounce back from what had happened? The fear sat like cold ice in his gut and he knew it'd take a lot more than coffee to melt it away.
The pot of coffee was still good and hot, so all Ty had to do was pour it in a mug and add in the levels of cream and sugar that Jared preferred -- something he’d learned early on in their relationship, since they needed coffee as much as oxygen in their line of work. It was still soothing to do it, to make something for his man and bring it to him. Even though he had no appetite, Ty was still tempted to offer to cook breakfast for them too. He was just sure Jared would protest that, though, so Ty just refreshed his own cup and then sat down at the table next to Jared. He was quiet for a few heartbeats, then said, “Scratches are healing pretty good, at least. Faster than I thought they would. I can’t wait to get back to work for real.”
"You're sorely missed at the station," Jared told him and it really wasn't an exaggeration, things were hectic and they were understaffed as always. "I'm starting to think I'm not the only cop in town who's in love with you," he added jokingly, in part to lighten the mood a little, in part to remind Ty where they stood. "We're getting a new deputy though, someone moving back home I think." That seemed pretty common, people leaving town only to get drawn back. Jared was pretty sure that was common with any little town but he'd heard people talk about it being an odd draw Point Pleasant had on its inhabitants. Given all the weirdness he wasn't as ready to dismiss it as he had been before but that didn't mean he wanted to think too hard on it either.
Ty huffed a little laugh, then raised his eyebrows at the news about the new deputy. “No shit?” he murmured, then chuckled faintly. “What a time to start. You met him yet? Or just heard?” Ty had heard plenty about the way this town held on to people, and the way it drew them back in if they managed to get out. He didn’t have any personal experience with that since he’d never tried to leave once he moved there, but who knew? Ty was willing to believe almost anything now, still reeling from what had happened to him.
"Her," Jared corrected. "And just heard. I think she starts today or tomorrow so that'll be something." New Years Eve or the full moon. Both were promising to be hectic so Jared didn't envy their new coworker. At least she wasn't a rookie and if she'd lived here before she'd know her way around town. All he could do was hope she was a good cop, a bad one would just put more strain on the rest of them. "On a lighter note... I know we're both working tonight but do you want to try to be in the same place at the same time at midnight for a quick kiss?" He smiled faintly. "For good luck." It sucked not to be able to stay home and have a drink or a few as they toasted the new year rolling in but at the same time Jared wasn't feeling much like celebrating. He certainly wouldn't have wanted to go to a party so being on duty wasn't all bad.
Oh, another female cop. Ty gave an impressed little nod. Maybe that was sexist, but whatever. Lady cops had it rougher in general, so any woman who dedicated their lives to the job had his automatic respect. And since they’d lost Madison, it would be nice to have another female on the force. Ty chuckled faintly, and his smile was a bit warmer. Maybe he wasn’t completely forgiven yet, but Jared still wanted to see him when the proverbial ball dropped, and that meant something. “I’ll just be on desk duty all night, so ... lemme know where you’re at close to midnight and I can drive out to meet you?” he suggested. Maybe he could buy a couple of those tiny liquor bottles so they could have a miniature toast, at least. “Hopefully it’ll be a quiet one.”
"Hope for the best, prepare for the worst," Jared sighed but he really didn't have a whole lot of hope for a quiet night. New Years Eve was a tricky one because people either went completely bonkers or there tended to be a weird euphoric and hopeful vibe over everything. Jared would definitely hope for the latter if he dared to hope. "I'm pretty sure I'll be patrolling the marina," he told Ty but that was really only a guess. He kind of wished he could just work at the station as well but they'd need men (and women) out on the streets tonight. "If I don't think I can make it to the station by midnight you can definitely drive out to see me, yeah. It'll be romantic." He gave Ty a little grin. "I'll be mad as all hell if I don't get my New Years kiss from my boy."
Considering the festivities going on at the marina, Ty thought that was likely. The bigger the concentration of people, the more likely trouble was. Ty just hoped that everyone would be too exhausted to cause trouble. They needed that hopeful vibe more than anything. Jared’s last words made him huff and smile crookedly, a bit of warmth blooming in his chest that had a slightly painful edge to it. He still felt like he’d royally fucked up, and he was worried about why it had happened, but at least Jared was talking to him fairly normally again. “Well we can’t have that,” he agreed, reaching over to squeeze Jared’s thigh under the table. “Just keep me updated, we’ll make it happen.” And maybe he could bring Jared a good snack or something else as another little peace offering. “I love you,” he murmured.
The little touch was reassuring and Jared watched him with warmth in his eyes as he grabbed his hand and gave it a little squeeze back. "I love you too," he said gently. There were things he felt like they needed to really talk about and he wasn't so sure now was the time. With what had happened he was starting to feel like maybe he'd pushed for something in the bedroom that he shouldn't have pushed for. Maybe they both wanted the rough play but they definitely needed to check in with each other, set some boundaries and probably take a break from it for a while. As much as Jared enjoyed it at the time he wasn't sure he liked who he became during the roleplay. It was just hard to put it into words and say it all out loud. "You seem a lot calmer today," he said instead. "How are you really feeling?"
Ty paused for a second. “... Calmer?” he offered with an awkward little laugh. His headache was easing, and that anxiety churning in his gut was slowing down with the affection and physical touch. Ty tried to assess the rest of it and put it into words, but it was hard. “I dunno ... embarrassed at my behavior. Worried this, like ... fucked everything up,” he murmured, his eyes hovering more around Jared’s chest than his face. “Tired, achy. But glad you’re here.” Ty gave his hand a squeeze. It was a valid question, and one he would’ve asked too if he’d been in Jared’s position, but he wasn’t sure how to answer it on the spot. Like there was a right answer and a wrong one, and he didn’t know which was which.
There probably was no right answer but Ty's was a good answer and Jared found himself smiling again as he stroked Ty's hand with his thumb. "You didn't fuck everything up," he said because that was the most important thing to put on the table. "You pissed me off and you worried me but it'll take more than that to scare me off. If you want this to end one day you'll have to man up and tell me because yeah, I don't scare easy." A small malicious voice in his head told him he'd scared plenty easy when the Sadie shaped apparition came at him full of accusations and horror but that was different, damn it. It also wasn't fair of his mind to bring that up again when he was trying so hard to put it behind him and he stomach rolled a little at the memory that was too fresh in his mind.
‘I don’t scare easy.’ Hadn’t Ty said that to Jared when he was fretting so much about being clingy? He thought he had. He let out a tiny laugh that was more relief than amusement and shook his head a bit -- he was pretty damn sure he would never, ever want this to end. All he wanted was Jared, and some peace for them to actually enjoy their lives. It was one thing to know in his head that Jared wasn’t going to leave him because of one dumb fight, but he was still glad to hear it so explicitly. Impulsively, Ty stood up and moved behind Jared’s chair to wrap his arms around him. He pressed a firm kiss to his man’s cheek. “I love you,” he murmured close to his ear. “Always will. So we might as well like ... get a place together, because I’m never gonna wanna end this.”
Jared grabbed onto his arms instantly, just to hold him in some makeshift hug. The words made him realize just how much he'd needed to hear that and they made him feel a little sappy as warmth spread through him. "I love you," he murmured. "And I say we go looking for a future home as soon all these festivities are over. What do you say?" A future home. He'd thought he'd had that with Sadie, their place on Sycamore Street had even had a spare bedroom just in case. He didn't want to think about that, this wasn't the same, this didn't have to end the same way and yet he'd almost lost Ty to some raging monster as well. It made him squeeze his arm a little tighter.
“I say yes,” Ty answered softly. He knew it would be scary, moving in with someone, but that was only because he’d never done it before. There wasn’t another man on earth he would rather take that step with. They could have a home, be a real family, maybe get a dog and adopt a kid someday. That was far in the future, of course, but Ty still wanted it, and he wanted it with Jared. He pulled one of his arms free enough to put pressure on Jared’s jaw to turn his head so Ty could kiss him. He kept it slow and soft, but there was still a neediness to it that felt like another apology.
Jared closed his eyes as he melted into the kiss. It felt like exactly what he needed now, what both of them needed, something solid and gentle. He rubbed idly at Ty's arm, those depressing thoughts washed away by the physical comfort. He was hungry but it felt like it could wait, maybe even had to wait, because right now he just wanted Ty. "I don't have work for a few more hours," he murmured softly, lips still close to Ty's. "Do you want to lie down with me for a while?" He wasn't thinking about sex and he felt like that was plenty obvious; he just wanted the closeness, to reassure both himself and Ty that they still had that.
Sex didn’t even cross Ty’s mind as he nodded and stole another small clingy kiss from Jared’s lips. He wished they could just stay in bed and cling to each other all day and all night, but at the same time he was looking forward to actually going to do some work, even if it was just desk-jockey stuff. “Hell yes I do,” he murmured once he’d pulled back, just to say it out loud. Ty straightened up and let go of Jared so he could get up and come with him into the bedroom. Since he hadn’t really gotten dressed, it was an easy thing to just shed his blanket on the back of the couch as Ty passed through the living room, and crawl into bed in his boxers again. He wanted to be held by his man for as long as they could manage it.
Jared followed close behind, peeling off his own clothes before he even entered the room. It was probably therapeutic in some way that they were doing this here, right where they'd fought - if he could even call it that - but it all felt a bit far away at the moment. He crawled into bed in just his boxers, snuggling up against Ty's non-injured side. "Are you healing okay?" he asked, careful not to rest any weight around Ty's ribs but his hand kept wanting to slide that way, to run over those bandages and where he knew Ty was hurting. It was a childish feeling that if he just touched, he could soothe it all away - like kissing it better.
Ty kind of wanted to roll onto his side and little-spoon up against Jared and make him squeeze him even if it hurt, but that was all to reminiscent of when things had gone wrong, so he stayed on his back. He could look into Jared’s eyes from there, and that’s where he wanted to stay focused. Ty’s lips twitched upward slightly at the question. He’d already said so, but he didn’t mind saying it again. “Yeah,” he murmured, pressing in as close to Jared as he could get from his back. “My ribs are still pretty painful, but the scratches are healing really fast. So ... hopefully I’ll be back to normal soon.”
"It'll be nice to have you at the station whenever I roll back in," Jared murmured but it was mostly because he knew Ty would go crazy if he was stuck at home for long. He was very task oriented, like Jared, so he needed to be useful and active. There was a reason they did the job they did, they wouldn't survive the pressure of it if a part of them didn't like it. "God I hope tonight is sane. I know tomorrow night won't be." The damn full moon was lurking around the corner with all its threats and Jared was dreading his shift. At the same time he knew that even if he was off duty, he'd be out there with a shotgun, doing his part in keeping the town safe.
Ty had forgotten about the full moon, so it took him a second to realize what Jared was talking about, but when he did his eyes widened slightly. “Fuck,” he muttered, his brow furrowing. Being useless on a full moon night was really going to drive him insane, especially with Jared out there on duty. Ty pressed in a bit closer. “Tell Grady you can’t,” he said quietly, already knowing that wouldn’t fly. He didn’t want to make Jared feel guilty for having to work -- he would’ve been on duty himself if he wasn’t all busted up -- but damn it was hard not to whine about. “You’re already taking New Year’s Eve, it’s not fair.”
"We need everyone we can get tomorrow," Jared said and gave Ty a pained little look, smoothing his hand over his stomach in soothing little circles. "I'm fixin' to keep my shotgun up front and my wits about me." He gave Ty a crooked little smile as a small idea crept up on him. "You should ask Grady to be my civilian ride-along, if you're not on duty. I could use the backup and an extra set of eyes even if you're not in fighting shape." Maybe Grady would want them all to pair up anyway and then there was no telling who Jared would end up riding with, but it was an idea. Whether it was a realistic one or not remained to be seen.
Ty smiled faintly back. “I can ask,” he said. “Worst he can say is no, right? Not like he’s gonna fire me.” It would probably violate all kinds of rules, but Ty would even man the shotgun. He knew he would feel much better being with Jared than sitting around at the station waiting for bad news. He tried to stop worrying about it, there was a whole day until then, and he kissed Jared’s lips instead. “I know you can handle yourself. Hell, you did better than me in all that fog bullshit. I’m just gonna worry about you constantly, you know.”
"The feeling's mutual," Jared murmured. "It's just a nasty side effect of loving someone. I can't bear the thought of losing you..." He meant to say more but it became overwhelming suddenly, like the weight of what had happened caught up the moment he said those words out loud. He had to take a moment, feeling a pressure in his eyes and a tightness in his throat that was a little exasperating. "Fuck, we're so damaged," he said with a little laugh. It helped with smothering the urge to cry. "I'm trying to relax here, what the hell."
The emotion was obvious, and Ty felt a little guilty for phrasing it that way, because of course they were worrying about each other even more than normal now. They both could’ve very easily died, but Ty was the one with physical damage. He would’ve been extra sensitive if he’d been in Jared’s position too. “Sorry,” he murmured, nuzzling his nose against Jared’s face. “No more talk about it, we’ll be okay.” Ty planted a couple of tiny kisses at the corner of Jared’s mouth. “And then we can find somewhere to move in together ... what do you want in a house?” Hopefully thinking about the pleasant future would be a good distraction.
Jared had thought he was fine talking about it until he suddenly wasn't so Ty had nothing to be sorry about. He did appreciate the change of topic though, humming softly as he considered it. He had loved Sycamore Street but there was no way in hell he could ever live there again. "I keep thinking there has to be a yard, in case I ever get a dog," he admitted. "Even if it means mowing all the damn time in the summer and even if I know I don't really have the time for a dog. I like the firepit I got in Seaview so that'd be nice. Big kitchen for sure..." He was trying to picture it but the details weren't really important unless they were looking to build one themselves. "How 'bout you, baby?"
“In case we get a dog,” Ty corrected softly, smiling a bit. He’d lived in apartments for all of his adult life for similar reasons -- he was always working and didn’t want to fuck around with yard work. But if he had a partner in it, somebody to help carry the chore load ... or hell, maybe one of them would quit the force eventually. “I think we can swing a fenced-in yard and a firepit and a big kitchen. I want one’a those big garden tubs? Big enough for both of us. And a good porch.” Ty knew that all might be a tall order in a house market as small as Point Pleasant, but they were just dreaming at the moment. “We’d be great dog dads,” he added in a murmur.
"I think we'd be great dads too one day," Jared replied warmly and that thought had often crossed his mind. It wasn't just now with Ty, he'd always wanted a family of his own, he'd just thought that would happen with a woman. Times had changed so it was entirely possible to do that with a man too, just a little harder. "A tub sounds good, I can just imagine lounging in the hot water on a clear night, watching the stars with you." Maybe that was unrealistic too, they'd still live inside of town and all the lights might drown out some of that view but who knew, some of the gardens around here had a great view of the night sky. "How awesome would it be if we could afford a place at Overlook."
That sounded like a special kind of heaven to Ty, and part of him marveled for a moment at how much his priorities had changed. He’d been pretty sure that he would never have a long term boyfriend, much less a family of his own. One where he was true to himself and happy, at least. But here he was snuggling with a gorgeous man he was madly in love with, talking about having kids some day, even if it was in the vaguest terms. It was Ty’s turn to feel kind of emotional, and he kept soft-smiling as he stared at Jared. “It would be incredible,” he murmured, clearing his throat and giving a small chuckle. “Room for dogs and kids. But nah, we can find something more reasonable. Who wants to have all those assholes as neighbors anyway.”
"That... is a good point," Jared chuckled. "It's all too big anyway, we'd have to hire a gardener and yeah, it'd be a hassle." The houses up there were just so damn nice. "I'm going to start looking around," he decided. "Check the listings. I really hope you're serious because I am and I'm ready to get a move on." It had been good to have his own place to go to when he was angry at Ty but at the same time it had been a miserable thing to do. In hindsight he would have preferred making a point by sleeping in their Guest Bedroom and that was definitely another thing he wanted in their new house. "I kinda wish we could just build a house, make it exactly the way we want it to be."
“It’d be nice, but that would take months and we couldn’t start until spring,” Ty murmured with a tiny groan. Maybe they could do that someday, whenever they got the hell out of Maine and made a home somewhere else. “I’m totally serious,” he said, gazing into Jared’s eyes. “So yeah, let’s really start looking.” His mother would probably throw some fits about it and refuse to ever come visit them in their house, but Ty cared less and less about that all the time. He loved her, he was grateful for everything she’d done for him, but he was still going to live his own life. He nuzzled a couple of kisses to Jared’s cheek.
This was what they needed, Jared thought. Something good to focus on, a hopeful plan for the future. They probably both still needed therapy but something like this would also help with the trauma and give them something to hold onto. He smiled at the little kisses, turning his head to give Ty a proper kiss on the lips. "Remember how nervous I was about wanting to kiss you for the first time?" he murmured warmly. "And now we're gonna get a house together." It hadn't been that long even, but they'd known each other for years so it didn't feel rushed at all.
It was all warm and cozy, and Ty didn’t want to leave the comfortable bed with his comfortable man and their comfortable little domestic fantasy. He tried to think about summer cookouts on a porch, a dog and faceless blurs of kids running around the backyard, a place for a Christmas tree and Mama Gaines visiting. It was much better than dwelling on fog monsters and how he’d acted like an asshole the day before. “Crazy, isn’t it?” he murmured against Jared’s mouth, quirking a tiny smile. “I never would’ve thought, either. Guess I’m a better kisser than I thought.” Ty kissed him again as if to prove that was so.
Jared hummed happily into the kiss, reaching up to cup Ty's face as he let it linger. "The best kisser," he murmured against his lips and it was easy to let it all go for now. It reminded Jared of being a kid and seeking shelter under the covers, why was the bed such a safe place? He didn't really want to question it, it just was, and he felt safe and calm here with Ty, like none of that bullshit out in the world could touch them for a little while. "I love you, Ty Solomon," he murmured. "I'm happy you're mine."
Bed was perfect and Jared was perfect, and Ty found himself wanting to have sex, but in a lowkey way that was much more about intimacy than getting off. He just wanted to be as close as possible. “I love you too, Jared Gaines,” he whispered back. “And I’m so, so happy to be yours. Thank you for taking a chance on me.” He knew that the chance part of it had been somewhat mutual -- a baby bisexual who was just coming out of a post-divorce depression? So risky. But they’d done it and here they were, stupidly in love and about to move in together. It was a little surreal, but in a fucking great way, and that was such a nice change from the surreal they usually got.
"Mmmhmm, the Bangor playboy," Jared teased, still amused that he'd had that idea of Ty in his head for so long before he really knew who he was dealing with. "How many broken hearts am I going to have to deal with if we ever do that Bangor weekend we kept talking about?" He was teasing, of course, and he really didn't need to know how many partners Ty had had before him. Jared had done his fair share of girlfriends over the years before he met Sadie so they were probably even -ish. It was just amusing to him to imagine a horde of gay men of all shapes and sizes sulking when Ty showed up with a permanent bae on his arm.
Ty snorted a soft little laugh and rolled his eyes. “So many. Highly recommend you bring your badge to flash around just in case they start getting rowdy,” he teased. “Nah ... I mean we might run into a guy or two I know at one of the clubs if we go, but nobody’s gonna be crying into their cosmo over me.” One of them might be disappointed they couldn’t have Ty for a second or third time, but he doubted anything would even get said about it. Not that Jared was serious at all, but he might as well answer anyway. “They’ll just be jealous I scored a fuckin’ stud like you,” he added in a murmur, half-grinning at Jared.
Jared hummed, grinning faintly. "If I'd had you and then found out you were taken, I'd be crying into the cosmos too," he murmured. "Then again I don't think I'd have let you slip away in the first place." He chuckled, then furrowed his brows as his brain made a connection it hadn't at first. "Oh wait, their cosmo. You mean the drink? Fuck that, I'd be crying into the cosmos, weeping into the skies for you." They should go to Bangor he thought, a night of dancing and then decadent sex in a hotel room where nobody would be calling them in case of an emergency. They deserved the break.
Ty laughed, giving a little squirm of delight at that. Personally, he thought Jared could probably do better, he could land anybody he wanted, and Ty was incredibly lucky that he’d been chosen. The timing had been right, they’d both been in the right places in their heads and lives, and everything had come together pretty perfectly. The stars aligned, just like the star chart Christmas gift Ty had given him. Maybe they did need to be thanking the cosmos. “There’s not a lot of beer going around in gay clubs to cry into,” Ty murmured, grinning at Jared. He felt so much better now, like everything was really okay. “Don’t worry though, I would dump anybody to be with you. No way they’d be as good for me. You’re perfect.”
"I don't know about that," Jared chuckled. "But we are great together, baby." He stretched a little, yawned and then snuggled closer to Ty. "Wish I could just stay here in bed with you all day, even if it ain't exactly healthy." At least they'd had a very nice Christmas before everything went to hell. It was that small reprieve in between events that made it worth it, holding onto his boyfriend, making plans and dreaming of the future.
Jared was perfect for him at least, but Ty didn’t argue. He knew there was no way to express just how deep his feelings ran. The inner child in him that was so scared of abandonment was so stupidly grateful that Jared was forgiving him. This was just what he’d needed to feel secure again. “Me too,” he murmured, eyes still drifting over his man’s handsome face. “Still got a couple hours, right? Wanna set an alarm and take a nap?” Ty was willing to bet Jared hadn’t slept well the night before, and while he himself had been passed the fuck out, he felt like he could gladly sleep again now.
"Yeah," Jared murmured and let go of Ty to do just that. He'd left the phone on the bedside table so it didn't take long to find it even if he was sort of blindly reaching for it in a somewhat awkward position. He might not sleep the whole time but it'd be nice to relax and not have to check the time on the regular so he quickly set an alarm and put the phone back within reach before snuggling back up against Ty. "Wait, when are you going in?" Ty had told him, it just all blurred together with everything else they'd been talking about so maybe he was more tired than he realized.
Ty shifted around to get even more comfortable while Jared set his phone alarm. “Around six, I think,” he murmured. It would be a late night with the holiday, but that was what Grady wanted him for, he supposed. To help man the phones, work dispatch, help with paperwork. He was definitely still leaving at midnight to kiss Jared though. Anybody who tried to stop him could kiss his ass. Unless they were caught up in some kind of disaster, of course, but Ty was really hoping that wouldn’t happen. He snuggled in close and shut his eyes, taking a few deep, slow breaths and allowing himself to actually relax.
"You should bring some food," Jared murmured since he hadn't really made any decisions about dinner. He'd be working but even an overworked cop got a break to eat. The more he thought about it the less likely he thought it was that he could drop by the station at midnight. He'd need to stay where the people were in case things got rowdy and most everyone who wanted to be drunk that night was going to be drunk by midnight. "I feel selfish making you drag your ass out of the warmth to come see me," he admitted, even as his eyes threatened to close already. "I hope you need the break."
“Oh I will,” Ty murmured with a soft chuckle. “You know how much I suck at desk work.” It wasn’t really a lack of skills, it was more a lack of patience. Ty wanted to be out and doing something, not sitting around hearing about everybody else doing something. Granted, he hoped there was nothing for anybody to do but stand around and watch the crowd, but he would’ve much rather be in the cold than stuck in the station. “Don’t feel selfish,” he added, his voice getting soft as he got more sleepy. “I’d go out in a blizzard to get a kiss from my man.”
"I'd rather you didn't," Jared said with a wry smile. "No more running out into stupid weather unless you absolutely have to." This was good, it was easy to let go of what had happened, at least for the time being, and just exist in this safe space with the man he loved. "And I'll try not to be lounging out in blizzards hoping for a kiss," he added but it was becoming less clear what exactly they were talking about by the second as his brain was registering that it could rest and not be coherent for a little while.
Ty gave a little snort at the first part -- god, it was hard to remember now why he’d been the kind of idiot to run out into that fog ... desperation, he supposed -- and then hummed his agreement. “You’d better not, not with your thin Texas blood,” he murmured. Ty didn’t want to think about blizzards at the moment. They weren’t uncommon for this time of year, there might be some awful weather still on the way before spring, and he already knew he was going to worry about what might be in the weather. He didn’t want to worry right then. He turned his head to kiss Jared’s face again, then resettled it and let out a soft sigh. It was time for a relief-nap, and he got the sense he would feel much better when he woke up this time. “Love you, Gaines,” he mumbled.
"Love you, Solomon," Jared replied in a similarly sleepy manner and let his fingers do a little rubbing before he relaxed again. He knew somewhere underneath the sleepiness and comfort that this wasn't over, but he felt a lot better about it all now that they'd made up. Things might not go straight back to normal, it would require some work, he was sure, but at least it felt like that work would get them somewhere now. He wasn't frustrated and alone, wondering what the fuck had happened, Ty was right there with him and teaming up to fight whatever was happening sounded just fine to Jared.